A Hare grows in Manhatten

“I’ll moidalize ya!”

We begin with a voice identified as Lola Beverly. She is in Hollywood and aims to interview the stars. Naturally, we come to Bugs. He tells his life story which begins with him being born in New York. He grows up, and one day runs into a gang of dogs. (Yep. That one with the derby is Spike.) They think they spy an easy target and “dogpile on the rabbit” (with Bugs being the one on top.)

Bugs ducks into a sewer and when Spike tries to follow, he smacks his head on the manhole. Bugs pulls the ole “Does the rabbit have big ears, a fluffy tail, and hops” gag, with a great response from Spike that I’m not about to spoil.  After catching on, the chase continues. Bugs hides in a cigarette ad, which rats him out, so he sends Spike over the edge of the building with a stick. Spike grabs on to a clothes line, but Bugs plays Tweety and slowly removes his toes. (Apparetnly Spike was Bug’s 30th dog that day.)

Bugs walks on, thinking he’s rid of the canines, when they corner him in an alley. He grabs a book to defend himself but there’s no need. The dogs leave when they read the title: “A tree grows in Brooklyn”

Personal Rating: 4

Hare Tonic

“I gotta go back and heckle that character.”

Elmer has just bought Bugs from the market and is planning on making a wabbit stew for his dinner. At the Fudd residence, Bugs rings a bell and when Elmer leaves to answer what he thinks is the telephone, Bugs escapes. He stops short and figures that before he leaves he might as well have fun with Fudd first.

He pretends to be a radio announcer and says that all rabbits that have been bought lately have a disease known as Rabbititus. (Symptoms include: seeing spots, coated tongue, having fits, and believing you are a rabbit.) Fudd falls for it and tells Bugs to leave. Bugs can’t as he points to the sign proclaiming the premise is quarantined. He starts faking symptoms and heckling Fudd.

Elmer gets visited by Dr. Killpatient (Bugs in disguise) who asks to see the infected rabbit. He calls Elmer in to a room that he painted spots all over. Tricking Elmer into multiplying numbers, he declares that he too has caught the disease. Eventually Elmer gets wise and tries to catch him. Bugs tells him the audience has the disease and Fudd flees again. Bugs tells us we’re fine and says that if we were sick, we’d see spots, (like the ones on screen?) get dizzy, (is the screen moving?) and everything going dark. (IT DOES!)

Finally, this is the only other time I recall Bugs popping out of the end drum instead of Porky. (The other being “Baseball Bugs“)

Personal Rating: 3

Hare Remover

“All out of expewamentew animaws. I’ll have to twap a wabbit.”

So now that the site is two years old, I’m trying to improve it anyway I can. So now if I can’t find a clip, I’ll still try to find a picture for the short.

In this short, Elmer is a scientist. He never says what he is working on, but I assume it’s a standard Jekyll/Hyde formula. He gives some to his lab dog, who rushes out to eat grass. (I only assume it does not work, you don’t need to  invent something that makes dogs eat grass.) Since that was his last “guinea pig,” Fudd decides to trap a lagomorph. (To use Latin.)

He sets up a trap, and Bugs comes out, amazed such obvious traps still exist. Taking pity, he decides to play along and gets in. (Notice Elmer seems to have buck teeth in this short?) Back at the lab, the formula seems to have no effect on Bugs. Elmer gives up. (Scientists have to be used to failure, so I guess it’s true when he says he’s a horrible scientist.) To calm him down (or maybe to give him a taste of his own medicine,) Bugs gives him a drink of the concoction. I still don’t know if it works. Elmer freaks out, so does it only work on people? He runs to join his dog in grass eating but on the way he runs into a bear, leaving his hat behind.

The bear walks to the lab, and when Bugs sees the ursine wearing Fudd’s hat he assumes the potion did it. He whips up something to turn him back. The bear drinks it and hates the taste. Bugs flees for his life. The bear takes a bite out of Bug’s carrot to remove the taste in his mouth. Fudd comes back and seeing the bear with the carrot, also assumes the stuff worked. He whips up a potion to remove the effects, but the bear is not drinking that again. Bugs reappears and Elmer flees from what he now knows is 100% bear.

Bugs advises him to play dead, and just like in “Wabbit Twouble” it works. Fudd is relieved, but Bugs acts like a bear to torment him. Elmer continues to play dead while the real bear concludes that the two are insane.

Personal Rating: 3

Hare Force

“Heavens to Betsy! A poor, little, rabbit out in the cold!”

It is a cold evening. Our setting is a house that is home to a Proto-Granny and a dog named Sylvester. (Proto putty-tat? I’ll leave that up to you. He looks more like Willoughby to me) Sylvester is happy to be in front of a toasty fire but is angered when Bugs is found at the door and he is instructed to take care of the rabbit. As soon as the old lady leaves, he throws Bugs out. Bugs makes a snowman in his likeness and when the guilt-ridden dog brings it in, he flips out when it melts.

Bugs tells him to hide outside, but when he hears the granny returning, he pretends the frozen dog is posing for a picture. After getting put out again, Sylvester jams a stick in the door frame to keep the door open, but Bugs closes the bottom half anyway. Later, Bugs feels guilty and when he goes to let the dog in, he gets put out. They continuously throw each other out until the woman gets fed up and decides to throw them both out. They form a truce and toss her out instead.

Personal Rating: 3

You Ought to be in Pictures

“You mean to say you want to get out of your cartoon contract?”

Once upon a time, Friz Freleng left Warner Bros. for MGM. Long story short, he hated it. He did get his old job back and this was his short he made to thank everyone for the welcome home.

At the Warner Bros. studio, everyone goes for lunch. Daffy tells Porky that his talent is too great to be squandered in cartoons and that he should go into the full-length movies. Porky somewhat agrees, and goes to talk to Schelsinger. (Interesting note. Leon is the only one doing his own voice. Everyone else (including the studio guard played by Micahel Maltese) is played by Blanc) He lets Porky out of his contract, knowing he’ll be back.

Porky leaves for the movie studio, but the guard won’t let him in. (I don’t know if he’s being a dick or he doesn’t know who Porky is.) Porky disguises himself as Olliver Hardy and sneaks in. He disrupts a film, is thrown out, and decides to get his old job back. Daffy meanwhile has used this opportunity to sell himself as the new star. When Porky comes back and discovers this, he beats Daffy to a pulp, and gets his own job back. Happy, he gets back on the drawing board and throws a tomato at Daffy.

Personal Rating: 5

Stage Door Cartoon

“Bewieve it or not, I’m hunting a cewtain wascawwy wabbit.”

Elmer is hunting Bugs and has a genius idea of using a fishing pole. Bugs hooks it to Elmer’s pants and then offers to help reel him in. Finding him too small, Bugs throws him back and then Fudd chases him into the city. There, Bugs hides in a theater for cover and Elmer follows. He traps Bugs on stage where in order to please the crowd, he dances, and then plays a piano Elmer is hiding in.

When the curtain comes up again, Bugs gets Elmer to dive into a glass of water and then gets him to make faces at the audience. Bugs puts on a disguise and the next thing Elmer knows, he’s being arrested by a sheriff, (Pretty much a Proto-Yosemite Sam.) for his indecency. As they leave, a Bugs Bunny short comes on and the sheriff insists they watch.

It turns out to be the cartoon we are watching right now and when Elmer sees Bug’s putting on a disguise he pulls off the sheriff’s clothes to reveal… a sheriff in his underwear. As the sheriff takes Fudd away to be hung, Bugs reveals he disguised himself as the music conductor.

Personal Rating: 3

Rhapsody Rabbit

“Franz Liszt?”

Cartoon network turned twenty this year, so I feel its my duty to talk about where it all started. The very first thing to air on this channel was this cartoon.

The plot is very simple. Bugs is going to play my favorite piece of music, but we all know that other things will happen. First things first! Bugs kills someone who won’t stop coughing. (Hey, this is off to a great start!) He begins to play and catches the attention of a mouse who joins in, to Bugs’s annoyance. Later the mouse tries to watch Bugs play despite the fact Bugs does not want it to watch.

With the first part of the piece done, the mouse gets Bugs to play something more modern. Bugs joins in but afterwards shoves a TNT stick in with the mouse. The piano plays taps, but there is no time for Bugs to grieve as it’s time for the final part and it looks to be a monster. Bugs prepares to play a piece that may kill him, but before he begins, the mouse, with his own piano beats him to the punch. At least he lets Bugs play the last three notes.

Personal Rating: 4

The Hep Cat

“Say, are you followin me?”

In this, the first Looney Tune in color, (the ones before were Merrie Melodies) A cat walks by a doghouse to the tune of “5 o clock whistle.” The dog (Willoughby, but he is here named Rosebud) chases after him, but fails. A bird tells him he almost got the cat, but the dog says that this happens every night. Out of danger, the cat begins to sing about how irresistible he is to females. Cue girl.

This cat is creepy! Look! Her feet have stilettos! She literally gives him the cold shoulder, but his luck seems to change when he gets a note calling him over the fence. He gleefully runs over, only to run into Rosebud and they chase again. Later, he sees a hot girl and begins to make out with her. He doesn’t realize its Rosebud with a puppet until its too late. They chase again, and the cat loses the dog on a clothesline. He goes back to his make out session. (Okay, that puppet is hot.) The bird comes back to tell him its not real. This does not bother him in the slightest.

Personal Rating: 3

Hollywood Steps Out

“50 dollars!?”

It’s a cartoon caricaturing famous Hollywood stars! (And they look rather creepy, I might add. Good thing the impressions are spot on!) Carry Grant buys some cigarettes from Greta Garbo and she uses her shoe to light it. Panning to the right we see a Leon Scheslinger cameo as well as a table set for Blondie and Dagwood, and a fire hydrant for Daisy. (Odd choice.)

Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, and Geore Raft pitch pennies and Harpo Marx gives Garbo a hot foot. Bing Crosby introduces our musical act as Stokowski composes. Boris Karloff dances stiffly, the 3 stooges poke each other to the beat, and Olliver Hardy dances with 2 women at once. Sally Ran does a bubble dance (She even tosses the bubble up, but we don’t see any nudity, you pervs.) Peter Lorre comments on the beauty of the bubble, and Henry Fonda gets punished by his mother for watching.

The dance ends when Harpo pops the bubble. (Good thing she was wearing a barrel underneath.) This whole time, Clark Gable has been chasing a blonde. He catches her only to find out it was Groucho in drag.

Personal Rating: 3 (unless you are a real film buff who knows who the parodies are today, then it just might reach the 4 tier.)

A Corny Concerto

“Gweetings, music wovers.”

Its a parody of “Fantasia” which is one of the finest films ever. So what would a Looney Tune based on it be? About 629,087,356.5 times better!  (Give or take.)

Our host is Elmer (as parody of Deems Taylor) and he lets us know the first segment will be “Tales from the Vienna woods” (All the while his dicky is giving him problems) It is a classic tale of a hunter going after Bugs. Since Elmer is on host duty, it’s none other than Porky who takes on the job. (One of the very few times Porky appeared on screen with Bugs.) Porky’s dog finds Bugs and learns that this will not be so easy.

Porky and the dog dive into a bush which Bugs is hiding in, and soon Bugs tosses their gun away. It lands in a tree infuriating a squirrel who takes aim and fires. The three hold their chests assuming the worst. Porky and the dog turn out to be fine, but when Bugs peeks at his supposed wound he passes out. Porky and the dog try to get his hands open to see the wound and instead find a BRA! Bugs screams, places the brassiere on the two’s heads, and dances into the sunset.

Elmer informs us that the next segment will be “The Blue Danube” (As his pants fall down now) It is a tale of the ugly duckling. This time however, it really is a duckling as opposed to a swan. A baby Daffy to be precise. (There you have it. Clampett also created “Baby Looney Tunes”) He wants to join a family of swans, but the mother refuses to have him around. The family is spotted by a vulture who decides to have the cygnets for brunch. (He doesn’t want Daffy either)

The mother swan passes out when she finds out, and Daffy flies to their rescue. He knocks the vulture out and hands him TNT which kills him. (I’ve seen this part on an episode of Bill Nye) Daffy is now accepted as part of the swans family and swims with them. (His reflection crashes into a tree)

Personal Rating: 5