Directed by Friz Freleng; Co-Director: Hawley Pratt; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy, Virgil Ross, Bob Matz, Lee Halpern, and Art Leonardi; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on April 21, 1962.
It’s the return of Jose and Manuel I promised! But remember: I didn’t promise anything spectacular.
The two really are on route to Guadalajara this time, but flights are rough as they dare to fly at the same altitudes as airplanes. Or the planes are flying dangerously close to the ground. Bottom line: someone is flying at the wrong height, and it’s not me. It may be lazy, but I don’t fault them for hitching aboard the tequila flight, adopting their favorite lounge positions, and letting technology take them where they want to go. They may not sound or act like it, but they’ve got a bit of the crow’s natural intelligence.
They hop off early upon seeing what lays below them: corn! The San Franciscrow treat! Upon reaching the golden fields, they turn tail feather and run from their natural rival: a scarecrow. As is typical of those guys, he doesn’t give chase. Jose declares HE must fear THEM. Just to be safe, though, he tells Manuel to taunt it. Seeing them on screen together reveals that it’s a puny scarecrow. Or maybe their just crows of unusual size? Bottom line: someone is at the wrong scale, and it’s not me.
It is a familiar looking scarecrow, too. Jose recognizes him as that guy in the moving pictures who hunts Bugs Conejo. If you don’t fear what you don’t like, kill it. Manuel is very adapt at using sticks. For fun, Jose puts on the s-crow’s hat and pretends be that guy in the moving pictures. Since he doesn’t have as iconic a catchphrase as Bugs, he spouts some “What’s up, docs?”. If it looks like a hunter, Manuel will stick it to him. Oddly, they both know what scarecrows are, so why were they shocked one wasn’t chasing them? Have they been to Oz? Or did they also catch this at the drive-in:
Hey look! It really IS that guy from the moving pictures! Ironically, making his last appearance in them. The fact is lost on Jose who thinks the scarecrow just came back for a rematch. And what do you mean “You’re” gonna knock his stuffing out again? What have I told you about taking credit for Manuel’s accomplishments? He gets shot, and decides Manuel deserves the same treatment. He baits his buddy into getting closer by saying the scarecrow is disrespecting him. Since that guy is about to retire, he gets to be the clear-cut victor this week.
Disguises fail, and that guy is smart enough to make the two think he’s left the premises, so he can booby trap the stalks. The whole time, they still think he’s a scarecrow. If only he’d prove he’s not by talking. Jose ultimately decides to they should just resume their trip, as there are stupid scarecrows in Guadalajara. Is that just where we put all the stupids in the world? Then why are we allowing so many to run around free? Ethics, schmethics. It’s for everybodies own good. (And I could still blog there.)
They decide to make use of aeronautics again. Manuel says the thing they’re on now is a commercial plane. Any reason why, you’d be asking Manuel to explain things, Jose? I thought you had the brains. They eagerly await takeoff, unaware that they’re sitting on a rocket ship. (Ah! Jose! Your eye is in your beak!) The film ends just as the countdown does, so we don’t get to see them die. It’s the only explanation for why they never got a third cartoon.
Favorite Part: Manuel calling Bugs his friend. It’s as cute as when a child says they’re friends with Elmo. Or when a 30-year old blogger claims the same with Porky. (Oh lord, am I really that age? I never intended to be.)
Supervision by Isadore Freleng; Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Robert McKimson; Music by Norman Spencer. A Merrie Melody released on June 30, 1934.
You mean the ones where I willingly choose to go to work stark nude and nobody notices? I think that’s me subconsciously admitting how invisible I feel, and how desperately I want to be noticed. And now for our featured attraction.
A disturbance of an occurrence is going down at the Van Winkle house. Rip and the dog are being thrown out by the Mrs. If you speak Chip/Dale, you can learn her reasons. Mine’s a bit rusty, but it sounds like not wiping his feet was the last straw. He’s also a lazy good-for-less-than-nothing, and his dog isn’t much better. They can go live in the forest for all she cares. And… she left her socks in the gerenuk? Well, that’s on you, lady.
Rip’s easy going. He just crosses his name off the property, takes his gun and color changing hat, and heads off to get whatever life gives him. His dog follows because dog’s are good and loyal and won’t stop being your friend even if your autistic brain made you not realize the severity of your words and now you’re not even able to apologize. And… so are the… children. … Are you on… uh, “good” terms with these children? I’m not allowed to see minors follow men with guns.
Ah. They were just seeing him off. *Relieved sigh* And it turns out his gun is only for decoration/is the only possession in his name. He’s really a fisherman; and he found a way to make that easier. He puts his bait on a mousetrap that’s tied to the pole. And I gotta know: do you think that would work? If I hadn’t taken a vow to never kill any of my animal friends, I’d go try it right now. Honest I would!
Fittingly enough for a Van Winkle, Rip falls asleep. The merry little dwarfs that didn’t get a callback from Walt are nearby. They’re just doing whatever fictional, non-human dwarfs do. Drink, dance, be merry and little, and drink. You’re not a true dwarf if you don’t have a beer gut. When they notice Rip, they all gather for a closer look/try to rob him. Unfortunately, I can’t find a good enough print of the short that clues me into the objects in his pocket that makes the little guys laugh. Are they receipts? A list of debt collectors? Porn? One of those candy wrappers that have “jokes” printed on them?
Screwing around with his gun fires it, and he wakes. They dart back home, but the damage is done: Rip is aware of their settlement. Good thing he doesn’t give a crap about learning about a secret society unknown by humankind. He’s just going to help himself to their kegs. At his scale, they’re little more than a pint. What they’re not is ‘meant for human consumption’. That drink makes dwarfs out of thin dwarfs, so it is for him.
His dog finds him, and is as loyal and good as I promised. Plus, Rip still smells like Rip, so it must be Rip. The problem is that the dog is so much more powerful in comparison now. You could drown in his tongue, and your spine would snap if he tried to leap on you. Rip escapes death by love by riding a realistically drawn grasshopper. Well, it was, until Rip got his Toon germs on it. Riding grasshoppers is nothing I’ve ever thought about, but now; can anyone loan me some dwarf ale?
The insect bucks him off into a spider’s web. And it’s not abandoned. And that’s not a spider, unless it’s back legs haven’t grown back yet. Either way, it’s hungry. But don’t worry, after the venom is injected, you won’t feel a thing. This dream was made possible by the fact that Rip’s been asleep for some time now, and spiders have built webs around him. Spider love being in close contact with human beings. More of you should be as happy to see them as I am. I’m banning you from returning until you do.
I can’t fathom the exact number of years he slept. Is that his dog? Or one of his dog’s descendants? Actually, those are them over there. Joke or not, why does Rip tell him off? For taking them away from their mother? Actually, maybe this is the mother. In which case… how dare she get knocked up? Don’t tell people that!
Favorite Part: The dog going back to old bag Winkle just to blow a raspberry. Loyal, good, friendly, cute, why would anyone need a wife? (Answer: Dog’s normally don’t last into your 80’s.)
Personal Rating: 1. Feels a bit scattered. It’s about Van Winkle. No, it’s about the dwarfs. Nah, it’s about Shrinkle Winkle! Actually, it’s about over.
Now, if you’ll excuse me/speaking of dreams, I’m going to go pretend I live in a world where “Coyote Vs Acme” will be released. *Learns what Ketchup Entertainment is going to be releasing next year* For the love of all that is holy: DON’T EVER WAKE ME UP FROM THIS DREAM!!!!!!!
“I’d like to be the good guy once in a while. I guess.”
Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Animation by Robert McKimson; Story by Dave Monahan; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on February 11, 1939.
Watching nearly 100 year old cartoons is super fun, but reading several century old books can be equally thrilling. Visit your local library today! The only two animals capable of finding enjoyment this way are humans, and squirrels. Oh, I can back those claims up! I enjoy it, and the squirrels do too. Easy! The ‘book of the month club’ book for this month, is a collection of tales about Robin Hood. Squirrels love long tails!
Three squirrel… brothers? Nothing confirms they’re brothers, but nothing denies it, either. Yeah, three squirrel brothers are engrossed in the book. And what’s more fun than reading a book? Role playing as the characters! Who wants to join me in a little “Clockwork Orange?” The youngest brother offers to play the titular Hoodlum, but his older brother challenges that by asking a simple question: “Who’s gonna be Robin Hood?”
After he gets his way, his title is taken by his elder bro. As the eldest of three, I’ve been here before. But they left out the best part: arguing! I always won those because I said so.
Hey, maybe these guys need names. From biggest to smallest: Squzzy, Sqozzy, Sqizzy. Because Sqozzy was generous to give his superior the appropriate position, he is rewarded with the “privilege” of portraying Little John. Now gosh, that still leaves the question of who will be the villain. We need a villain to justify the thieving! Someone small, and squishy, and adopted…
I can’t believe Sqizzy hasn’t caught on yet. I do love his “Meeeeee?” when he finds out. He wants no part in this, but Sqozzy tells him its easy to get beat up, robbed, and belittled. And it will be fun. With no say so in the matter, Sqizz is put into costume and sent on his way. This is the way its always done, so accept your role. You are the villain in these literary games. You were the Monster of “Frankenstein”, the windmill of “Don Quixote” and the Mr. Rochester of “Jane Eyre.”
While the most charming song about harassing capitalists is being sung, their antics are watched by a fox. A cursory skim at their book tells him all he needs to know to lure them into his clutches. He calls for help in falsetto, claiming to be Maid Marion. (I always figured she was a fox.) It’s a shame that the boys hadn’t reached that part of the book yet, so they’re hesitating. They’re also not questioning how their imagination is coming to life. They voluntell the youngest to get the goods.
Though he looks more ground squirrel to me, he has the speed of his arboreal cousins, and snatches the book without getting snatched himself. The fox only managed to get a mouthful of flowers. Since he’s GF, he leaves in a huff. The squirrels were probably sour, anyway. Speaking of, the book has just let them know that lovely ole Marion is Robin’s sweetheart. That means they gotta save her! (Aren’t you guys minors? It could explain why you’re dumb enough to fall for this.)
Hearing the kids answer his call eventually, the fox gets back into character and has them follow the siren calls into a secluded cabin, with a locked back door. You know, this cartoon was way ahead of its time. Once the two are in, the fox enters as well, locking the other door. I know he is going to eat them, but it still sounds reeeeeeally disturbing to hear him admit how much he likes little squirrels. Figurative predators have tainted the literal ones forever. A-holes.
Being so young and small, Sqizzy was too slow to make it into the house with the other two. Peeking through the door, he witnesses the fox telling his now tied-up brethren about the side dishes that will soon be their new neighbors. Shame they were pricks, otherwise Sqizz might have felt the need to lend a paw. Wait. This is his chance to prove he can be a hero! Good thing there was a French Horn just lying in the forest. (And if that’s not what it is, I don’t care. I just listen to the music; never claimed to understand it.)
As the fox prepares his meal, he hears the sound of hunting horns and howling hounds. (How does Sqizz manage to echo like that?) “They” follow the trail straight to the cabin, happily exclaiming they will have fox stew tonight. (Much more humane than just getting his tail.) God-level acting is Mel (which is actually his level when he’s not trying) as the fox showing his true colors. Sure he’s a carnivore, but that doesn’t mean he’s not afraid to die. And with both doors locked, he’s bargaining with his prey to do him a favor, while taking breaks to pound on the exit with all his might. (This short takes place in the future of Octember 1952. Which really did start on a Sunday.)
When he’s gone, the bros. easily escape their harnesses and go to thank their heroes. It’s always nice when squirrels talk to humans; never the results of witchcraft or mushroom sambas. But all they find is their little brother who’s got just one question for them: “Whoooo’s gonna be Robin Hood?” I’m gonna hazard a guess. Squzzy. No way in hell is he letting you hold anything over his head.
Favorite Part: I suppose I should grant it to Mel as the fox, but the line that’s always stuck with me is Sqizzy saying “Guess we better break down the door.” I can’t explain it better than its always made me laugh. Maybe because he sounds so deadpan?
Personal Rating: 3
Now, what’s this I hear about the Termite Terrace building getting torn down? I don’t want to live in a world where that happens! Are you really willing to lose me?
Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Animation by Volney White and Norman McCabe; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on June 19, 1937.
You know you’re in for a good time when, before the title card, we’re told that yeah, the things you’re about to see are based on those living, dead, and yet to live. You want to try being 100% percent creative 100% of the time? You’ve already been beaten to the punch by somebody who was already beaten to the punch, ad infinitum.
Sandy C. Ment, the simian building commissioner needs a new city hall built. He’s got two choices of contractors: Dirty Diggs, a round mound of a bully hound, but what choice would he have with a name like that, and Porky Pig, the best contractor the world has ever been blessed with. Not only does he try to be friendly with Dirt, but he actually does the work he gets paid for, on time, with reasonable prices. The Mr. Ment show asks the two to determine the expenses; lowest cost gets the job.
Both want this job real bad. For Diggs, ’tis a matter of pride. Porky is just civic minded. Both of them figure that 3,000,000.02 dollars is a fair estimate, even if no one asks for their two cents. (The only reason Porky made his so high is that I’m not around to donate to his cause.) Since neither put forth the lowest bid, there’s only one logical solution. They both will construct a hall. First one done, wins the job. The government gets a free building this way, and when the government wins, oh heck, it always does.
The contest begins. Diggs might have some expensive machinery, but if Porky’s flashing sign on his excavator means anything, he was able to afford neon. Whatever their expenses are, both can afford top-notch teams to make reality become fantasy. I think Porky has some familiar faces on his side. Could that be Benny and Betty Beaver? And I’m sure that camel is a war hero. But the one animal Porky won’t let help is the random rabbit. (I’m choosing to say they’re a-…) She probably doesn’t even work for him, since she keeps changing job-labeled shirts to sell herself. She’s probably just me in a past life.
Porky’s got a great lead. It’s because he has natural leadership and charisma. I’ve been telling you that for years. But Dirty isn’t afraid to cheat. He’d probably spontaneously combust if he didn’t. He sends his crew home early, and breaks out his secret weapon: Dirty Digg’s Brick Laying Machine. Patent Pending. All Rights Reserved. This little beauty is built like a tank and fires like a machine gun. Good thing putting up the framework is always the easiest, fastest part of the job, now Dirt boy can just sit back and let the bricks fly.
Porky isn’t stupid enough to try and win an unwinnable race. He opts for the mature choice of bemoaning how his project is going to end up as a crack house or a Starbucks. (He’s so sad, he’s dry sobbing.) Foolette the rabbit still striving to help, offers her help. Porky keeps on refusing. He’s not even being mean about it. His “no’s” sound like a kid honestly admitting they can’t answer a question. And there’s no point in getting involved in hopeless endeavors. But Foolette is so upset, Porky relents and lets her attempt what she can.
She may be small, but there’s some power in those ears. They can be used as extra limbs, and that’s good as she doesn’t feel like using her arms today. Even better is that they’re unmatched in speed, save for a brick-tank-gun. Her efforts get the buildings’ progress tied in almost no time. To stay in the game, D.D. tries stepping up the speed on his ride. If it has one design flaw, it’s having the reverse function set after the speediest setting. Also, it tends to jam at that dial.
You know, why would you even want that on your device? It’s almost as if someone sabotaged your tank. *Malicious grin*. The bricks get sucked off the building, causing a dangerous amount of buildup. (Diggs is so upset, he talks without moving his mouth.) It’s gonna blow! Just like his work ethic. *Rimshot*. It’s clear Porky is our winner, as he is always meant to be. (Have you been to see his new movie yet? Have you made everyone you’ve ever met go? Don’t put this off.) Good guy that he is, he makes sure that Foolette gets most of the credit. Ear-obics do pay off!
Favorite Part: Another old acquaintance has set some dynamite. But is bothered by all the nosy onlookers who love detonators. He lures them over to the explosives, and sneaks back to do his job. Savage AF, but all in the name of progress.
No need to worry, this is a good movie. Very good. D*mn good! Though I didn’t think it great. Let’s discuss. (There’ll probably be a few spoilers.)
Plot: Porky and Daffy are farm boys. Well, farm animals. Found by a man named Farmer Jim, (who I swear is Tom’s father.) he raised the two to adulthood before leaving the movie. I’m sure he died, but the film doesn’t take it too seriously, so I don’t. Now on their own, the two are in danger of losing the house they’ve grown up in. After some trial and many errors, the two manage to get employment with the local gum factory. Unfortunately, an alien invader who has no name (almost like the creators were begging me to do the honors,) has a plan to control all life on the planet via chewing gum. What’s his ultimate goal? How will our heroes stop him? Is this a worthy successor to its source material? Even if I give you some answers, you better still go see it. It deserves your money and attention.
So, let me just address my biggest problem with the film. And it’s really a me problem. I find the whole story, kind of weak. Just in theatrical terms. While I’m happy to see some gorgeous hand-drawn animation on a big screen again, the story feels like a direct-to-streaming idea. But the animation really is top-notch stuff. As are the jokes. I couldn’t stop smiling. Not every joke landed a winner, but the majority did. Some of which I really didn’t see coming, so the humor hit even harder.
Examples: Farmer Jim looks like a photograph. They’re just remembering him that way? Possibly, but that means only his mouth and eyes move. When he has to walk, he reveals his South Park roots. When our two stars wake up and we see song birds in their house, it’s an homage to Disney, right? It’s more likely they just entered through the hole in the roof that was easily forgotten about earlier. These are well written, and well executed.
And the fan service is top-notch. Smartly, they limit it to stuff relating just to Porky and Daffy’s shorts. Porky reads a book about Gabby, there’s a coffee shop named after Beans, (clever) Duffy makes a cameo, Porky’s piggy bank got stolen once, they wear familiar hats, I caught a snippet of the 60’s Looney Tunes theme, Petunia has a picture of Fluffnums, and they eat a diner called Clampett’s. While there, they are served by a waitress that is screaming celebrity cameo inside. It got me wondering if she was voiced by Bob’s daughter, and lo and behold…
Funny and fun! Good combo! Let’s talk about the character one next.
The origin story gets the job done in a satisfactory way, essentially making the two brothers. I’m fine with that. It would have been cool if they had been adopted by a same-sex couple named Friz and Tex, but that could be seen as insulting. No big deal. Daffy is indirectly responsible for Porky’s stutter. I really prefer Mel’s take on it, but I can’t see that being conveyed unless Porky just told the audience point blank about Blanc’s point. Porky is the straight-laced responsible one, who offsets Daffy’s wacky screwiness. Worked wonders in the past, and wasn’t lost to time. Excellent!
Even some character development occurs. Porky learns to trust that Daffy can be competent, while Daffy realizes to ease up on the loony juice a bit. I think Porky’s more in the wrong there, but it doesn’t change Daffy as a character to learn something. I was a bit concerned that Daffy kept laying eggs, even if he has done that before, it wiggs me out. But they addressed that as a joke as well, so I’m satiated.
Let’s talk about Petunia next. I’m happy to say she is more than Porky’s object of desire, even if its love at first sight for him. (Making a literal cute joke about how Porky sees her most mundane actions as the most beautiful ones.) She has her own wants and goals, but becomes interested in Porky in an organic, if slightly fast way. They also forego any instances of Daffy getting jealous of her. Best of all, she’s got a real personality.
She’s a nerd. Not an over-the-top stereotype, but someone who is very smart and has a keen interest in he work. Great idea! We’ve had smart characters before, but this is a new twist. She’s also got this thing about hating the fact that the company she works for keeps giving the public the same thing with a different package instead of trying to take risky, but creative chances. Now, who was it that Clampett loved parodying? I couldn’t have been the only one who interpreted things like that.
Our antagonist, simply called The Invader by the credits, is a lot of fun. Whoever was animating him was having the time of their life. But we have to spoil a major plot point regarding him. Better skip to the next paragraph break if you haven’t seen the film. Maybe the one after that to be safe. As it turns out, he’s not evil. His plan is actually meant to benefit the planet. Problem is, that twist comes right out of nowhere. No clever hints to catch, and the film portrays him as evil as they possibly can.
Good thing that doesn’t bother me. His reasoning for why he’s doing this ends up being another funny joke, that is still a selfish reason, so it works. And the turnaround happens a good 7/10ths through, so there’s time to come to grips with things. And I really like his plan. Putting something into gum that makes chewers into mind-controlled slaves? As if the stuff wasn’t disgusting enough. There is a handful of gross-out jokes here, but they know to limit it. I can look past things.
And that animation! It looks great, it probably smells great, and they still had some other fun with it! When aping the original shorts, they change the aspect ratio. When there’s a Powerhouse number, the whole style changes to be more art-deco. When things are meant to be disturbing, they come through. I never realized how disturbing false teeth can be, but they’ve joined the uncanny rank that glass eyes now share. Prosthetic limbs are next!
Don’t forget the voice acting! Eric Bauza continues to be a worthy Mel successor, Peter Macnicol does a wonderful Charlie Adler impression, (I was sure it was him.) but the one I had the most concerns with was Candi Milo. She’s a great voice artist, but I’ve always felt her biggest strength was in playing elderly ladies. I needn’t have worried. Petunia sounds cute and intelligent in her capable vocal chords, and compliments Porky beautifully.
It’s an overall good film. And it deserves love. I’m displeased to say that apart from me and my brother who tagged along, there were only nine other theater-goers, who couldn’t even be bothered to look at the credits. Not to mention that the nearest theater playing the flick was the next county over! I warned you all that this film needs to succeed, lest the W.B. gets another reason to think nobody loves their oldest mascots. The ones who gave them a real fighting chance in the cutthroat film industry. Some of the most influential stars in movie history. You know me as the guy online who tries to let others know of their brilliance. That doesn’t mean you can’t help do the same.
Favorite Part: Well, the best is the return of a classic bit: the false theater attendant interacting with the characters on screen. We’ve reached a point where some people will have never seen that gag, and I can see it blowing some young minds. I wish I hadn’t already seen it in trailers. I’m lucky I have no shortage of great moments. I’m choosing the reveal that Petunia stutters when she’s nervous/shy. And this only seeming to happen when she talks to Porky. Awwwwwwww!
Personal Rating: For me, a 3. It’s a good start that could lead to better things. But I know the majority of people will think it even better than that. I’ve no doubt that it could inspire people to look into the original classics. Thus, it earns a 4. And I’m pleased to say so.
Supervision by Isadore Freleng; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Cal Dalton; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on December 18, 1937.
How many times have I discussed cartoons about product mascots coming to life? More than you have, I’ll wager. If I want to keep my lead, I’ll have to do it again. But doing things you’ve already done is pointless if you have nothing new to say. Good thing I’ve never claimed my life as anything but pointless. That means I can reuse text from previous posts if I need to.
During night, when no living person is around, the mascots for products come to life and… just sing and dance really. A blueing bottles sings “Am I blue?”, a disgusting rubber glove inflates itself to bounce to the music, and even some of our real world mascots join in. Like Camel camels and the Morton’s salt girl. I gotta admit though, some of the mascots don’t make sense to me. What do weeds have to do with scotch? If you count thistles as weeds, that is.
It’s a real honor to see this kind of stuff. You really want to know how the icons react to those who find out their living secret? They’ll try to eat you alive. That’s what the chicks on the “My am I?” powder do. That worm/larvae is lucky to escape into some genetically modified apples. You ever been digested in a 2-d body? It hurts. You ever try to eat an apple bigger than your head in one sitting? It’s filling, but not organic.
Our title song comes from the guy pictured on the “Dream of Wheat” box. He sounds a bit like Al Jolson, but it couldn’t be him. This guy is legitimately black. (Except for his sometimes white chin.) His mother is Aunt Emma of the pancake flour for crying out loud! The only other possibility would be her encouraging her son to paint his skin, and save her the embarrassment of admitting she had to adopt. I don’t like that one as much. More feelings are liable to get hurt.
Two cigarette icons dance together, and I want to ship them, but if they procreate, then there would be more pro-smoking ads in the world. I can’t allow that. Smoking took my Walt’s life! I wouldn’t want anyone else to live through that trauma. I forbid you two from seeing each other after this short ends.
Now then, if you thought this short was getting away with reusing footage from the past, it will be punished by having the upbeat parts stolen from it and reused in a future short that’ll leave more of a legacy. The “Gold Rust twins”, Armstrong and Cats, I mean-… actually, let’s just stick with Cats, start up a lively musical number of “Nagasaki”. All the hep cat icons join in, from Aunt Emma to the guys on the “Yea Man” hams. And since we don’t really have a way to end this, we won’t. We’ll just stop and hope you won’t notice. Good night!
Favorite Part: A piper on a coffee can (again with the no sense make) charms some toothpaste out of its tube. I’ve never seen snake toothpaste before.
Personal Rating: 1. There’s hardly anything here you haven’t seen before, and won’t see again. You want grocery gags? That’s Goofy.
Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by John Carey and Dave Hoffman; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 4, 1939.
When you first start out at something, you suck at it. Very few exceptions to this rule. Maybe Mozart, and most likely Mel. Probably even more than I care to list, really. Much as I wish Porky could be included, the evidence of the the two piper films he starred in contradict him. Spoilers, I guess.
The cartoon starts with the legal disclaimer that all rats featuring will only coincidentally look like your cousin’s husband. (Yeah, as if any human ever was that cute.) The news of the day is how the Pied Piper rid the town of rats, and was nice enough to not kidnap any children. But you know what? Amusing as that paper and its puns were, it was false news. There is still at least one rodent running rampant. He’s clearly a mouse, despite what the short says. Are you really going to doubt me: a zoologist without a degree?
Porky lays on the music, and tries to lure (we’re calling him) Rochfort to a trap. He stops short at the last moment, calling us crazy to think he’d go there. Now, this could be another instance of a mouse, being unfairly and unexplainedly immune to the tunes. Or, you can believe what I want to believe: he snaps out of it because Porky stopped playing and he has awesome reaction speed. That’s the correct theory. He’s also smart enough to recognize the threat and break the pipe. Or is it an oboe? Actually, what exactly are the pipes that pipers pipe? Because gift or not, I’m not allowing BAGpipes in my twelve days of Christmas.
Things call for a better mousetrap, but you can’t build those anymore. Nature can supply though. Just select your favorite snake, hawk, weasel, owl, bullfrog, or scorpion to do the job for you. No takers? Good thing there’s no shortage of animals that eat mice! How about a cunning raccoon? Or a beautiful gila monster? A misunderstood tarantula? Or I guess you could choose a crummy cat. But wouldn’t you rather use anything else? As a zoologist without a degree I can’t imagine Felis catus is the best choice for anything other than a meal.
Wow. A whole paragraph about nothing. I’m improving. Porky’s feline, Slapsy Catsy, (no relation) isn’t really that great at catching mice. He’s afraid of the little things. A phobia I just could not understand, but I won’t mock him since he validated my claims of that not being a rat. In fact, that opening text promised me ratS, plural. Lying isn’t very nice. Neither is eating cats, but that’s what Porky said I get to do if Slapsy doesn’t put forth some effort.
A small chase unfolds. Did you know that cats have the weakest skulls of the animal kingdom? If it makes sudden impact with a wall, the cat dies nine times. Porky lends credence to my theory of him being Jesus, by forcing the cat to live by shoving his ninth soul back into its flesh prison. Then, it’s time for a dose of kat-nip. Put that away. No reward until the job is done right. (Unless it’s 4/20.) Wait, my mistake. I really thought I typed “cat nip” earlier. This stuff is steroids on steroids. Not only building the cat’s muscles, but returning every life back for round two. Someone is definitely gon’ die now!
And once the scuffle is over, Rochfort comes out wearing his new pelt of genuine ermine. Look pal, I put up with it when Elmo said that, on account of him being a moron. You should either admit you know better, or stop pretending like Slapsy only killed your roommate.
Favorite Part: Slapsy cowering in fear. Growing women legs turns to cringe to mirth.
Personal Rating: 2. If you couldn’t tell by the name I gave, Rochfort could be seen as offensive today. The jokes aren’t the funniest and there’s a shocking lack of Porky. Inexcusable.
Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Cal Dalton; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on June 21, 1941.
Wack is back! Even though this is his first appearance. With how confusing I needlessly make my blog, who’s really the wacky one here?
There’s a bird that looks like the lovechild of a mynah bird and a flamingo. He’s a crow, though. The title promised a worm, and wacky or not, that’s his favorite dish. Unlike the majority of birds that hunt via sight, he can make do via sound as Wack has just begun a song. Obnoxiously stretching out a note. Why does it bother me here, but not there? Because Jones sounded more musical? Because I’m a terrible hypocrite? Maybe I’m just having a bad day?
The bird doesn’t just pluck him away in the middle of the song, which gives us time to look at his weird chin he now has. God did not mean for birds to have a chin. Please get rid of it. And remove those feathers growing out of your beak too. At best they look like feminine eyelashes, but they’re mostly just eyesores, and I hate them. Were you jealous that you couldn’t grow a mustache and glued some pubes on to fake it? And as for you Mr. Worm, I notice your little hairs on your head can’t decide if they’re green or black. And are you wearing pants? I’m really asking.
Wack runs, with a cute bit that has his upper body stretching away from his feet as he goes. Hope you find that funnier than Charlie Chaplin, because they’re going to reuse it a couple more times. He hides in an apple, but the bird knows that all he has to do to find him is watch for the one apple that moves. Turns out, they all do. The answer to this puzzle is to watch the apple that can’t “see” where it’s going. That’s the dead one worn by a worm.
Wack next hides in the junk heap that is always in the middle of forests. The bird thinks he’s been cornerd in a phonograph, but Wack turns it on and ruptures his ear drums. He’s going to be hunting from sight from now on. Wack also hides in a toaster, that can operate even plugged out. (That should be a term. Let me influence you.) One shouldn’t be surprised that only toast comes out of a toaster. It’s tasty, but lacks protein, and birds shouldn’t be eating bread anyway. I applaud the crow for spitting it out. Healthy choices make for healthy bodies, or so the theory goes.
Hiding in a bottle of rubbing alcohol is no different than hiding in the drinkable stuff. Wack is loaded. He comes back to battle the bird, worm to bird. He dares the bird to punch him, and gets that wish. Now with sense knocked back in, he runs again. He takes refuge in apples once more, but since the crow knows the secret to locating him, he has to stay still. There’s only one solution now: eating every apple to find him. What’s worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Starving.
It takes some doing, but the crow eats his way through almost every fruit on the ground. He looks ready to ralph, but it’s the principle of the matter by this point. And protein is still protein. He reaches for his prize, when a woodpecker’s pecking sends down a fresh wave of tree eggs. The phrase usually calls for grapes, but I think we can make do with sour apples being the reason why the crow finally calls it quits.
Personal Rating: 2. One gets the feeling that Wack is designed to appeal to babies here. They sacrifice wordy jokes or humorous slapstick for shouting and bouncy movements. I’m glad that Wack’s sequel improved everything. And I stand by that description.
Supervision by Ben Hardaway; Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Jack King; Music by Norman Spencer. A Looney Tune released on March 5, 1935.
Like a good many of you, I hate dentists. I’ve never been a fan of paying someone to hurt me, and considering any dental problems I’ve had only showed up after I started to take brushing seriously… it’s a scam. And who’s to blame for everything? God. It isn’t fair to make life so horrible that even the few things that can make it tolerable (sweets) end up hurting us. Isn’t it enough to make us fat?
That was an unnecessarily long amount of words ultimately saying: As if Buddy wasn’t that great a character before. At least he doesn’t start that way. He began as a simple fudge maker. He used the finest ingredients, all organic and natural. Cocoa, sugar, 42 and an egg. Oh, and a little cardboard for roughage. Such enticing smells have never before billowed out of a pot! And what smells better than chocolate? A dog. (I also would have accepted an anteater.) Alas, most, if not all, animals are kinda killed by ingesting the stuff. Eating it is the one advantage to being human.
Remember Towser? Buddy really loves that dog. The dog here is not Towser. His name is Bozo. If it wasn’t clear enough that Buddy hates this dog, he proves it by giving him some of the fudge. If there’s a small mercy, the dog only gets a couple pieces, because fudge is bad for a canine’s canines. Admittedly true, but if you ate sugar-infused mercury, I don’t think cavities would be your biggest concern. The real reason Buddy made candy? Brownie points. Or should I say Cookie points?
He gives his girl a call to let her know that he made her fudge, all by himself, so she should praise him and never leave him and it looks like fudge-making is the key to a stable relationship, huh? While he talks, Bozo, creature of instinct that he is, heads t’ward the fudge pan. And he devours it! I’m concerned, but also impressed. You ever try to eat more fudge than the free-sample slice offered in one sitting? It’s so rich, it’s not easy. Unless its melted. That makes it easier somehow. Science is still searching for the reason.
Luckily, my prophecy of his doom fails to pan out, but the toothache one doesn’t. Alerted to the pained yelps, (Which sounds kind of echoed to me.) Buddy returns to scold. Only thing to do now is remove the tooth. Oh, did you blink you when Buddy became a practitioner of the dental arts? You really need to start watching these shorts as I do: with double-sided tape that keeps my eyes open, and stuck to the screen. The tingle and headache means its working!
Pliers didn’t work? Maybe you should carve the the jaw open like a pumpkin. Nah, rather than take my advice, look to your calendar for your answers to life. Buddy’s has a dentist pictured on it highlighting why Buddy is inept: dentists use gas. (And no wonder Buddy decided to spend his day by a warm stove. That lousy Octember weather is almost as bad as Apriluary.) Too bad there isn’t any gas on hand- BUDDY! NO! I was half-joking about your dog hating! Yes folks, Buddy has decided to put his dog under via use of his house’s gas line. You know, even Satan thinks dog murder is too evil. You want to go to “extra-special hell”?
Never mind. Buddy heats his house with helium, so the dog just floats a bit. Good thing helium is hilarious in small doses, and logically, hilarious in large. Anyone want to huff a tank with me? Now that the pup has been properly prepared, Buddy can move on to the actual extraction. All toons swear by the method where you tie a string to your tooth and something else. Usually it’s a door, but Buddy chooses one of those whatever they are on his wall. Some sort of lighting fixture I presume? Bozo seems to think it’s a toy, and runs after it when Buddy throws it.
Budds decides to use the door after all. Bozo isn’t too keen on the idea, so Bud decides to calm his nerves by tying the string to his own tooth. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s also incredibly moronic. Like watching *insert whatever you like to hate here, the only things I could supply are way too opinionated to be funny*. Bozo catches sight of a cat in the house, and Buddy is taken along for the ride. The chase continues outside, and is only stopped when the cat races under Cookie’s hammock, with the two larger mammals crashing into her. She and Buddy look weird today. Too much fudge?
Buddy is pleased to see that the crash was a help after all, as Bozo’s tooth has been removed. Cookie is amused to see that Buddy’s tooth met the same fate. I hope you’re not surprised. It was bound to happen sooner rather than later.
Favorite Part: Bozo’s howls of pain prompt Buddy to tell him to “Shut up!” But he’s still on the line with Cookie soooo…
Personal Rating: 2, that’s barely earned. I don’t find the dog abuse funny in this picture. It’s barely saved by the fact that Bozo hardly reacts to the pain once Buddo gets involved, and the psychopath paying for his crime in the end.
Now watch this:
Don’t let such an awful fate befall the Tunes. Watch their new movie. Tell everyone you know to watch it. Buy their tickets if you must. All the early screening reviews I’ve heard say it’s wonderful. I’ll be going, obviously. But I’m only one me. All 117 of you who visit: spread the word. Don’t make the world more loony by being less Looney.
“I’m the rip-snorton’est, Edward Ever (sic) Horton’est, Charles Laughton’est, and you ain’t heard nort’in’nest lion in the whole world!”
Supervision by Isadore Freleng. Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Harris; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 16, 1937.
It’s a first for this series! A “Melody” without a musical connection! Maybe it should stay this way…
There’s a mouse caught in a mousetrap. Thanks to maybe Bernice Hansen, I can never tell ’tis a buck or a doe. Fate’s been decent to me lately, I’ll let him/her/it decide. They’ve decided female. Since our mouse can’t free herself, she has to shout for aid. Unfortunately, that just attracts attention, and a hungry cat arrives on the scene. Good thing he always keeps sandwich fixin’s in the nearest crate. As is well known, when someone’s about to die, it’s customary to make them a sandwich.
Since they’re just the framing device for the short’s meat, I’ll not bother with names. But I will give kudos to the cat for not removing the mouse from the mousetrap, lest she has a chance to escape. She tries to change his mind on dinner by agreeing to do him a good turn in return for not killing her. And I guess freeing her is part of the bargain. The cat isn’t convinced that she could ever be of use to him, as he’s never heard the famous fable that concerned a mouse getting spared by a lion, and managing to save its life in return.
The mouse tells the tale. There was a lion that was a real bass, as most lions are. He lived in an area that nature couldn’t decide if it should be savanna or forest. He just called it a jungle for simplicity’s sake. His reputation was fierce enough to frighten off all the other animals who lived in this wacky biome. Including a bird that somebody finally realized didn’t belong on their farm. I’m just going to ignore it hiding its head underground via distraction. Look at that flamingo. Judging by his pallor, he’s not getting enough shrimp. If only he knew if he belonged here or not.
The local mouse in these parts gets… I guess I need to determine its identity too. This one will be male. So, HE gets his kicks by blowing a horn that sounds just like a lion. The animals flee again, but this time, the mammals decide to run further towards what could be their doom. Is it that hard to survive in this scientifically inaccurate locale? Be glad it’s not a taiga/coral reef. The lion isn’t amused by the mouse’s mockery, but his attention is almost instantly caught by a delicious aroma in the air.
There’s a roast chicken just being wasted behind him. He tells the mouse to vamoose, as he’s not worth the effort. The mouse promises to help him someday. The lion goes to grab the roast bird. It’s sitting in the middle of a bear trap, so he’s immune. But the man who set the tap, Frank Cluck, put in a fail safe in case he found something other than bears in Africa: a mousetrap that bursts through the bird and pinches the lion’s nose. But he’s also immune from that killing him. Frank Cluck needs a new tactic.
The next trap is a lamb tied to a tree. The lion needs a name so I can stop calling him ‘the lion’ again. For fun, let’s also name the mouse he met. For a switch-up, the Mouse can be named Leo. Logically, the lion is now Scorpius. (Not that Musculus doesn’t have a nice ring to it.) He can tell this is another trap, and turns to leave, but the lamb is quite the salesman. Even though his signs are misleading; he is NOT mutton yet. Whatever, Scorpius is eventually convinced and grabs him.
Instant boxing glove to the face! Now dazed, Scorpius is at the mercy of Frank who hogties him. He takes his prize to the circus. Such a shame that Leo couldn’t hold up his end of the bargain. Scorpius, once a king over all he saw, has been reduced to mere entertainment for the masses. It’s really quite sad. Scorpius, though as awesome as the featured quote says, isn’t too tough to cry. And guess what? Leo is right outside his cage! I guess he witnessed everything after all! He gnaws a hole out for the big cat, and they flee into the night.
The original mouse ends her story here, before she has to relate the part where the two are hunted by the entire country, and ultimately shot before getting back home. Good thing things have worked in her favor, as this cat is also moved to tears. He releases her, and the title comes true if her “sucker!” is any indication. Good thing the cat can reuse the bread.
Favorite Part: The fact that the mouse laughs as she is mustard-ed for the sandwich. It’s darkly funny, and adorably messed up.
