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Quacker Tracker

“Meeces find it irresistible!”

Produced by Herbert Klynn*; Directed by Rudy Larriva; Story by Tom Dagnais and Don Jurwich; Animation by Virgil Ross, Bob Bransford, and Ed Friedman; Layouts by Don Shepard; Backgrounds by Walt Peregoy; Film Editor: Joe Siracusa; Music by Frank Perkings; Musical Direction by William Lava. A Looney Tune released on April 29, 1967.

*By this point in time, W.B. decided they would reenter the cartoon game, and reopened their animation unit. While they were working on that, they commissioned Format Films to make the next few shorts. O’coure, they’d pull out again in two years.

The Tooth &Nail Hunting Society has a vast collection of animal heads. Seems macabre and cruel, but lets see what they got. A rhinoceros with a pathetically puny pair of protuberances, (Call that a trophy?) a crocodile, a ram whose horns have put put on incorrectly, (Fire that taxidermist.) a lion, a buffalo, moose, walrus and Ichthyosaurs. Yep, that’s pretty much every species. Save one.

The last piece is Speedy Gonzales. These guys really want to mount his severed head. That’s a bit barbaric, but it’s kinda funny having Speedy listed as his own species. (Mus barryallen.) Sure, the collection is not complete and therefore hardly a collection at all, but capturing Speedy is only to be done by “a stupid, idiotic, foolhardy ignoramus.” I guess everyone here failed because they were TOO smart.

They’re offering a lifetime membership to whoever succeeds, and that’s all Daffy needed to hear. (He was the janitor around these parts.) He can’t believe a mouse is as hard at they’re claiming to be, but do you know the privileges members have? They’re allowed to kill anything regardless of its conservation status! If you don’t hurry, you’ll miss your chance to cap Lonesome George!

Once in Mexico, Daffy simply asks Speedy to look down the barrel of his gun. It’s one of those peep show deals, he claims. Speedy perpetuates the claim with some hamming, and Daffy just has to take his own peep. Speedy fires the gun, and goes back home to start his score tally. One and O. But that doesn’t guarantee a complete and total loss for Daffy. Even Sylvester got the occasional point in when he was the mouse’s adversary.

Daffy sets up a snare next. It’s simple but he’s going the extra mile with the bait. Cheese AND hot sauce. Looks like Speedy is powerless to resist, and he chows down. It’s weird seeing his buckteeth. It’d be like seeing Daffy’s corkscrew-… Anyways! The trap don’t trip. Not until Daffy stomps on it. Speedy deems it worth six points. (Hey, cheater! Daffy got one on you! We all saw it! Impartial judge my asp.)

Daffy disguises a grenade as a mouse doe next. A chunky one, but Speedy isn’t shallow. That doesn’t mean his mouth will move when he wolf whistles, though. He’s also not too put out that “she” seems to have the hots for Daffy. That’s odd and disturbing, but has made me want to see a short about lit bombs falling in love and spending the little time they have together, content to not have to live without the other.

‘X’ is the coolest letter in the Latin alphabet. Look at the improvements it can make to common every day words. Xorning. Xoon. Xight. No wonder Daffy is so giddy about getting to use ‘Plan X’. It requires him to roll himself up in a tortilla, (he mistakenly calls it an enchilada even before he’s in it) and use himself as a Trojan enchilada. All the brown nosed mice agree, this looks to be a feast to remember.

Then again, Speedy can’t recall any enchiladas that have had feathers sticking out. (Daffy, you fool!) Nothing a little hot sauce couldn’t fix, so they load her up. It’s literally hot, and Daffy’s hunting hat catches on fire. He leaps out for the nearest fountain, but Speedy drains it before any possible relief. Better hit him with everything you got, Daff.

He saws the end of the plane he arrived in, attaches it to a cannon, and climbs aboard. Now he has a weapon that can catch up to Speedy. But Speedy leads him into a pipe that comes out by the train tracks, and the locomotive launches Daffy back to where this all began. He forgoes the membership. Even if he succeeded, he wouldn’t be left with enough life to enjoy any perks.

Favorite Part: When Daffy leaves the club, he does so in a fast manner. The resulting smoke seamlessly transitions to the smoke coming out of the jet he’s flying. Nice.

Personal Rating: 2.

And now, we pay tribute to Eric Bauza. As soon as I saw his name pop up in a news feed, I knew what I didn’t want the rest to say. It said. Now I’m going to just say it: he was our best Mel Blanc successor. Not only for his vocal talent, but by also being the all around swell guy Mel always was. Kind, supportive, and really gave a crap about animation.

Everyone is saying that this isn’t fair and he was taken far too soon. And they’re absolutely right. But you know what my first thought was when I heard the awful news? “At least Coyote Vs Acme” got released during his lifetime. If there really is a Grim Reaper who chooses who is dying, I like to think they knew that there was at least one thing that needed to happen before Eric’s time had come.

Goodbye Mr. Bauza. We never met in person, but I was part of one of the San Diego Comic Con crowds you spoke to. It was a magical experience that I’ll be treasuring until I too reach my demise. You were amazing and made the world a little better while you were here, and all of us who ever hear your voice will never forget you.

I don’t know who’s going to pick up the mantle for voicing the ‘Tunes next, but I hope Eric and Mel’s legacies will continue to be honored by hiring actual professional V.A.’s to pick up where we’re currently left off. If Chris Pratt gets the call, I’m firebombing the W.B. lot.

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The Sneezing Weasel

“That’s a good’un.”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Cal Dalton; Animation by Sid Sutherland; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on March 12, 1938.

Yeah, thanks for the spoilers, Tex. But let’s start from a better spot: the beginning. Early morn. Just after the rooster crows as much as he wants. (I see his tail feathers change color. Probably bred for that specific purpose.) A mother hen marches her hungry brood outside for a high protein breakfast of the freshest worms. Extruded from their dirt home via hamburger press, of course.

The one chick with brown plumage, isn’t having any luck. I guess blonde chicks really do have more food. Wilbur, (for that is his name) chases one to the right, losing his bib in the process. Slob. Then a storm brews. Miss Hen gets the chicks back inside, but can’t count all eight of them without an adding machine. Give her some slack! Her brain is the size of a peanut. What’s important is realizing that Wilbur is still out there. (You can mock her for not noticing the one kid with different plumage was gone. If you want.)

She gets him, and none too soon, as he was almost snatched up by a weasel. He’s voiced by the director. That’s not the voice I’d expect a weasel to have. It’s more suited for a mink, fisher, or stoat. But I’ll be dumbed if I say it doesn’t make for a hilarious voice. Drat Tex and his laughter! It’s more contagious than the germs that mustelid is going to be infected with later. As for Wilbur, he caught the cold first just by being in the rain. Back to bed! (Lucky.)

His mom heads out to get Dr. Quack. A very reassuring name in the bird world. This proves that he’s no speak. And Wilbur should be glad for outside assistance that will keep his illness from developing into bird flu, chicken pox, or whooping chough. But that wily weasel sees his opportunity, and dons a doc disguise to be allowed on the premises. (Has he lost weight?) The other kids let him in. (Wait, there’s nine of the yellow ones now?)

Wilbur sneezes and the beard flies off. *Gasp* It’s the actual Willie the Weasel! (For the record, the one in this short is also featured in the puzzle, but is identified as just “Weasel”. Something tells me it was supposed to be the other way around!) Serial killers are always more terrifying when they have proper names. Wilbur can take care of himself while his siblings prep for war. Willie is obviously only going after him, because he’s weakest.

They fire popcorn and pimentos in his puss, but he’s a tough mammal and hardly slows down. He gets Wilbur backed into a corner and speaks with the worst lip sync I’ve seen outside of Dingo Pictures. It’s funny, but intentionally so? I hope. Not like we don’t know what’s going to happen next. Willie is brought down by God’s humblest of creatures that don’t actually qualify as being creatures seeing as they’re unicellular, germs.

Looks like tables can turn! Willie sneezes so much, Wilbur decides he has to intervene. He knocks the weasel out cold. Then proves who the real monster is by reviving him with smelling salts, just so he can have the satisfaction of clobbering him again. Kids are natural jerks. Need more proof? Mom is returning with Quack, and the chicks decide to hide in the closet. Wouldn’t it be hysterical to leave a murderer in your bed for your parents to find? Cartoons are great AND fiction!

Neither bird notices the switch. Quack is too busy spooning out the best cure for a cold: castor oil. Excrete those viruses! Willie freaks out, puts his arms back under the comforter for the next shot, and then flees the premises. The kids burst into giggles, and the adults still don’t have a clue. But Wilbur ends up taking his medicine anyway, and hightails it to the bathroom. Willie came back to laugh at this justice, but he wasn’t aware that Wilbur ran to the teleporta-potty. He pops out of the clock to clobber the weasel once more. What a gag and what a wease!

Favorite Part: Willie’s sneezes fling the chicks around the house. Wilbur ends up flying through a matchbook that looks like a sandwich board on him. I like his pleased expression. This job should keep him out of the deep fryer.

Personal Rating: 3. You let Tex voice a character and the laughs will come.

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Fresh Hare

“Merry Christmas, Santy.”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Manuel Perez; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on August 22, 1942.

Before we begin, it’s time for a story  that raised by faith in humanity by one notch. Several billion more and I may remember how to smile! It happened at work. A child saw my shirt that had various Toons on it. She didn’t recognize Miss Boop or Mr. Sailorman. After introductions, I commented that they used to be quite popular. She then pointed at a certain hare and said “I think the Looney Tunes are still popular. Everybody loves Bugs Bunny.”

Dang if I didn’t wish she was my daughter for the briefest of moments. If she stops by here on Halloween, I’m giving her the entire candy bowl. Thank you for indulging me, Chinese bots that flock to this site in the thousands each week. Let’s now have a reminder why everyone loves Bugs.

It’s the final time I get to discuss a short where Elmer is a plumpling, because this was the last short to feature him as such. Though it already looks like he’s trimmed down a smidge. Must be the grueling exercises that come with being a Mountie. Elmer’s a Mountie. And the biggest criminal they have to catch is Bugs Bunny. Why again with the quotes on his name on the wanted poster? Were they opting it for being a nick name at the beginning? What isn’t his nickname then? Nick?

Bugs has been hard at work doctoring those posters. It takes a lot of comfort with your ego to intentionally make yourself look worse for comedy’s sake. Takes even more, and some chutzpah to boot, to give yourself the Hitler do in 1942. Bugs has always been that kind of cool. It also requires you to be so sure of your success, that you’ll leave easily traceable tacks leading back to your home. When he reaches for Elmer’s carrot bait, he is slapped in cuffs.

Elmer struggles to pull him out, and ends up finding a lit bomb attached to the other end. And guess who is holding the keys? And is taking his sweet time going through each key to find the right one. And just wolf whistles at one. (It’s probably used for ** *** ******** ******** *******.) Elmer goes boom, but managed to get off screen, and marches Bugs up against a tree. He’s going to be arrested, and he’s got plenty of charges to make it legal.

Elmer will read them thusly. The resisting arrest and disturbing the peace is just innocent fun, but the traffic violations? I really did expect better of you, Bugs. Like G.T.A. That looks awesome on a resume. While getting his riot act read, Bugs takes Elmer’s hat and impersonates his superior officer. He calls Elmer a disgrace, and strips him of his uniform. It’s got to be mighty cold in just your boxers and girdle, but at least Elmer has gotten over audiences seeing it. That last scolding must have really made the masses grow up.

Elmer gives chase, and the two go through a deep snowbank. Upon exiting, the two have switched places, so they run back through. But the evil snow has piled up even further in the 17 seconds they were on the other side, and now they both burrow. No, I hadn’t even considered the two just turning left to stay in the bank. And I still won’t. Don’t fall for the snow’s chicanery. Bugs uses the old “my ears allow me to pass through things” bit, and Elmer crashes into a tree.

When he next finds Bugs, the wabbit has built a snow effigy to belittle the little man. But his excellent hearing means he knew Fudd was right behind him, and he punches him in the nose after he says he will. Elmer flies rear first into an ice sheet, and makes a beautiful heart. As a kid, this was the funniest gag in all Looney Tunes, and instantly made this one my favorite until I saw “A Day at the Zoo” two cartoons later.

Bugs ducks into a cave that Elmer’s girth won’t allow entering. He has to use his gun, not aware that Bugs has taken its place. Elmer starts firing “blanks”, and when he checks the empty barrel, Bugs gives him the smack on the smacker. Then he flees again. In and out of snowbanks they go, leaving their imprints each time. Bugs uses this to his advantage, and paints one on solid ice, knowing Elmer will charge before he looks.

Elmer breaks down in tears. But Bugs has had his fill of fun. He willingly tells Elmer that he’s ready for the cuffs, and while wary of more tricks, Elmer seizes the opportunity and Bugs leads them back to justice. Bugs ends up at the mercy of the firing squad. Elmer grants him a final wish, which is really big of him. Fat jokes aren’t crowd pleasers anymore, but I figure that was as tasteful as I could make it.

Bugs wishes he was “…in Dixie, hooray! Hooray!…” And if you’ve seen this one on TV, it ends abruptly there. Something was cut and I’m usually against that, no matter how racist it was. This is different. This just might be the most racist thing I’ve ever seen in classic cartoons. I’m not really the one to be the best judge, I’m aware. But this really is one case where I kind of think the rushed end is actually a bit funnier than the reality.

It ends… with Bugs, Elmer, and the squad donning blackface and performing a minstrel show. That doesn’t even deserve a flat wow. Instead, I’ll relate how innocently naive I was seeing this as a child. I was left wondering why Bugs was suddenly singing with a bunch of moles and why he felt the need to disguise himself as one. So Elmer couldn’t find him? Why was I so much more pure before I was baptized?

Favorite Part: The snow imprints follow a simple pattern: Bugs, Elmer, etc. So who owns the sexy lady one? Probably the escaped flasher the Mounties wish they could be putting all their effort into finding.

Personal Rating: 3. I feel odd delegating it as such what with its ending. I end up justifying it because if you know how it ends, it’s because you’re an adult who can decide if the audience you’d want to share it with can understand that it didn’t not age well; it didn’t exist well.

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Hold the Lion, Please

“I’m sorry I can’t stay and kill ya.”

Clearly, the lion’s busy.

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Animation by Ken Harris; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on June 13, 1942.

The hippo doesn’t think too highly of the lion. The monkey and giraffe are in agreement. They think he is like the hippo is now: all washed up. (Why even bother putting a robe on? We’re all guys here.) He’s also a bit slow as he nods and agrees with their sarcastic “King of the jungle” and sincere “Has-been” remarks. It’s only when they claim that he couldn’t even get a rabbit that his pride is hurt. Really, now. Leave his family out of this. *Rimshot*

You can tell he’s past his prime by his Donald Duck fighting stance and the feeble roar he lets out. The rest of the guys pretend to be scared in the second hammiest scene in this picture. He’ll prove them wrong! He’ll kill a rabbit then the telephone game will evolve the story into a dozen honey badgers. So with a carrot as bait, he sets out. (Don’t listen to him claiming carrots are good for rabbits. They’re dessert/an after dinner cocktail.)

He finds some rabbit tracks at the rabbit crossing. Naturally. And here comes Bugs now. (Why is his first name in quotes in the title card?) He swipes the carrot, showing his feet are discolored in this scene and takes his leave. The lion catches up and prepares to strike. Those mighty paws of his can decapitate an okapi with one blow, so Bugs could be burnt toast. But he holds his carrot in harms way, and gets some snackably sized chunks instead.

It’s a cute trick, but can the lion wiggle his ears? I can’t and now I’m sad. He can’t and now he’s annoyed. He tells Bugs that he’s talking to a genuine lion, but Bugs isn’t convinced. He’d be scareified and petrifeared if he was in the line of sight of a lion. Wait. He is! And his false terror is the first hammiest scene in this whole picture. Spam that ham, Bugs! If the Academy knew what they were doing, they’d give you an Oscar.

The lion later finds Bugs grabbing some food from the jungle’s carrot patch. I’d expect that kind of thing in a jungle that has lions, hippos, and giraffes in it. He does some stalking, trying his darndest to appear casual every time Bugs spots him. (His facial markings fluctuate.) Nothing screams ‘I’m doing nothing’ like land swimming. And look at that saliva fly! He should consider miming. And eating mimes. I bet they taste just like zebras.

Bugs dashes off, leaving his bonnet behind. It lands on the lion’s head. Bugs sets up a door between the two, and when the lion knocks Bugs answers and bursts into hysterics. It’s a lion in a hat! No notes! Give that Panthera the hundred grand! Even he can’t resist the chuckles when Bugs holds up a mirror. Distracted by mirth, he doesn’t notice Bugs moving the door behind him until it’s slammed shut. Now he’s trapped inside!

Bugs isn’t handing over the key, so the lion builds up some momentum to charge through. Bugs, ever the considerate sort, opens the door at the last moment, leading to an off screen crash. But that lion manages to catch up to his prey thanks to the rule of comedy. Time to die! The lion even grows a wisdom tooth for extra tearing. But then the phone rings. Never fails. You’re about to take a life, and what happens? Telemarketers, no doubt.

Bugs answers and hands it over to the lion. He’s grumpy, but folds when he learns it’s his wife on the line. Seeing as he’s a lion, you’re probably wondering which of his wives it is. It’s Hortense, the one who doesn’t take crap from anybody. While her husband was playing with rabbits all day, she’s been out hunting wildebeests and if he wants to eat before her and the rest, he’ll get his butt home pronto! He concedes and leaves. And Bugs?

Bugs finds the whole thing pathetic. Sure, it’s great to honor your wife and all, but how can you call yourself a king of the jungle if you let yourself get pushed around by someone without a mane? Bugs doesn’t take that stuff. He’s master of his domain.

And his claims are immediately challenged. It’s his never seen before; never seen since wife, Mrs. Bugs Bunny! And like a good little buck, he returns home. Forget the pants, this Mrs. wears all the clothes in her relationship.

Favorite Part: The mocking animals dissolving into swaying plants as the scene transitions. It’s a bit random, but dang if it doesn’t look beautiful! More please!

Personal Rating: 4.

 

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Two Scents Worth

“Poems are made by fools like me.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Charles M. Jones; Animation by Keith Darling, Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson, and Ken Harris; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on October 15, 1955.

L’histoire d’aujourd’hui se déroule à Les Aples Francais, and et maintenant, j’en ai fini de faire semblant de parler français.

In the town of Nasty Pass, a man goes to the fishmonger to purchase one herring. Yes, one. While we can’t hear from this side of the glass, the monger seems just as befuddled to hear such and order. But a sale is a sale, and he forks over the fish. (I can read the ‘Sardines’ written on the barrel, but I prefer to use a more proper vernacular.) This isn’t just a lunch on an extreme diet, it’s an investment.

This guy, (who kind of looks like Ralph Phillips’s homeless uncle, Troy) uses the fish as bait for Penelope Fifi Pussycat. And it is successful. She’s a rather easy-going girl who has no problem with the guy painting a white stripe down her back. Nor with him dropping her through the skylight of a bank. The populace does. That’s a pseudo skunk if they ever saw one! Some would say it’s worse than the real kind, because you can’t deodorize them. They flee, and that guy robs them blind.

He gets his comeuppance fierce, though. Leaving the town, he tells what he thinks is his ally that he no longer needs her service. Then the scent enters his nostrils, and his brain registers what this means. That’s a real skunk if he ever smelt one! It’s like a burning cleanse of holy water, and he retreats to jail, locking himself up, completely reformed. Now maybe Mr. Phillips will invite him to Thanksgiving dinner again.

That skunk sees that pseudo skunk and is smitten. He might be coming off a little too extreme this time. Climbing into her arms and saying that if she stops resisting, he will do the same, and that’s the best deal she’s going to get. And I still can’t help but love him myself. And all skunks for that matter. They’re cute and can defend themselves wonderfully! It’s no different than a woman with mace.

Speaking of, I bet the pseudo really wishes she had some of that stuff. She’s taken refuge in a gondola, but the genuine hopped aboard last second, and is still advancing. She escapes by walking across the cable they are hanging from. For once in history, it paid to be a cat. She runs as far up as she possibly can, which is the tip of the nearest ski jump. And he still manages to catch up and catch her. Kissing must be really nice!

Squirming out of his grasp, she lands on one of the skis left up here, and goes on a wild downhill ride. Pretty much the rest of the short here. Her hunter, more safety concerned, comes after her on tow skis, just as humanity intended. George of the jungle he is not, but he still should watch out for that tree. Eh, we didn’t see it either, so cut some slack. That was a well delivered crunchline.

The ski cat lands for the rest of this wild ride. The genuine gets back on his skis, while the pseudo still wonders how she ever got in this situation. And as if things aren’t worse enough for her, she’s coming up to a cliff. Trying to remember what the ski instructor said is impossible when all she can think of is that stupid, sexy skunk. She decides to just do her best at stopping the ride. And it works! Right at the edge and everything. Safe at last.

And then he plucks her up as he goes over the edge. If there’s one thing more frightening than his advances, it’s the height they’re at. She clings to him in fear. Always prepared, his parachute lowers them to safety. I bet by the time they land, she’ll find she still has fallen. For him. *Rimshot*

Favorite Part: When he admits he’s not just attracted to her body, but her mind. True, he just met her. True, she hasn’t said any actual language. True, it’s a joke. But it still helps him curry my favor. I wonder how Chuck would react to see how hated this character became.

Personal Rating: 3. That tree slam alone was worth a point.

 

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The Great Carrot-train Robbery

“Carrots is the root of all evil.”

Oh, go on Bunny-boo. Snuggle.

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Cal Howard; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, LaVerne Harding, Jim Davis, and Ed Solomon; Layouts by Bob Givens; Backgrounds by Bob Abrams; Film Editor: Hal Geer; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc and Pat Woodell; Musical Direction by William Lava. A Merrie Melody released on January 25, 1969.

Aw man! I really wanted to discuss this short’s prequel first! But fate chose this one, and autism made it stick. Let’s go.

The last recurring minor characters to come from the W.B.’s theatrical shorts. They’re named after two of  possibly the world’s most famous criminals: Carmen Sandiego and The Hamburglar. (Do I really need to spell it out for anyone?) As rabbits, they rob carrot patches. They wear clothes and drive a car, so the rules of this world are as weird as a cartoon ought to be.

Their design isn’t my favorite. Bunny has comically sized cheeks that make her look like she’s perpetually sucking a warhead candy after brushing her teeth, and her blonde hair doesn’t match her gray fur. And there’s no proof it’s a wig. Claude is a bit cleaner, but his wide-eyed smile makes him look totally clueless. On the plus side, we get to hear Mel one last time through him. I think I’ve backstoried enough. Let’s get a move on.

After the theme song. Yep, these guys got their own tune! With sung lyrics and animation pulled from their previous short! You know, I get the feeling W.B. was trying as hard as they could to make these guys last! It didn’t really work. The only mention I’ve ever seen of either of these two was a photo of Claude in “Tiny Toons Looniversity” suggesting that to Buster and Babs Bunny, he’s a relation.

Now we can really get started. The duo (who might not be married like their namesakes, s’not clear,) want to get on board the 515 train. The ticket master says that isn’t allowed, seeing as its a cargo train. Claude lightly shakes him, and he changes his tune. I’d do the same. Those teeth look plenty powerful. I thought they’d be well known, but the ticket master doesn’t recognize them until Bunny gives their names. Who else do you think would want to ride a carrot express? Bugs?

They duck into their car of choice and proceed to do whatever they choose to do when the camera isn’t on them, while the ticket master phones the third character of their stories, a sheriff referred to as Sheriff. He’s on his way! This is the perfect chance! If they’re holed in a car, all he has to do is figure out which one, and keep them inside until they pass the nearest prison. It’s not the fastest train, so he can catch up with his car.

After an amusing drive, (I do love him being crazy/blind enough to drive right in front of another moving train.) he gets on top of a car. It’s his lucky day, as he is standing on the right car, and Claude has just emerged to uncouple the car. He gives chase, but really now? A man catching a rabbit on foot? He can’t even jump the gaps in the car, and has to run in between them. He climbs back up just as Claude aims to pop back to safety. That’s when the train enters a tunnel. If that look painful enough, imagine the cramp he’s getting ducking down in there.

Claude thinks there home free, but Bunny sees Sheriff is entering now. They hide in some barrels before they are seen. Sheriff isn’t great at catching them, but he’s not a maroon. Since this is the carrot stronghold, he knows they’ll be here eventually. He’ll hide in the third barrel. The crooks decide to show the audience that they aren’t afraid to commit murder if need be. They nail him inside, stick some lit dynamite in, and kick him off the train. He survives, but only because the cartoon isn’t over yet.

Sheriff handcarts after them, just as Claude finally gets around to uncoupling that car he keeps saying he’ll get to. Sheriff gets a real workout trying to outspeed it, and only barely makes it onto some sidetrack. He crashes once he hits the end of that line. They’re going to get away unless he find some new transportation! He buys a farmer’s plow horse to get a ride. I love- you know what? No. I’ve said that so many times, it’s losing all meaning. Let me try something new.

I’m attracted to the farmer just looking totally lost at the wad of bills he now possesses. … I’ll stick to saying “I love-” from now on. Sheriff gets to the rabbandits before they flee, (and how did their car know where to meet them?) and the two worriedly clutch each other. (Claude’s cheek is a coward, and tries to blend into the background. It works, but the principle remains.) He reads them their rights, unaware that his new partner happens to share their love of sweet root vegetables.

Horse chows down. That doesn’t sound like the crunch a carrot should make. If W.B. didn’t already prove they knew that for the past 2.5 decades, I wouldn’t bring it up. I guess since Mel was no longer under contract, he was finally able to refuse biting into the things. I wouldn’t. Not only do I like raw carrots, but I’d be thrilled to be in a ‘Tune or ‘Melody as the carrot crunch. Oh yeah, I need to be finishing up here.

That horse eats more carrots than is healthy, and Sheriff gets angry at the lack of evidence. Give it about a day, and come back with some strong stomached forensics officers. In the meantime, the crooks see their opportunity and take what they can. The sheriff chasing them on his fat horse. They’re probably still chasing to this day.

Favorite Part: The look the thieves share when the ticket master changes his mind about letting them ride, and in a panic, starts listing all the people who can ride as well as thanking them for excitement and offering some of his lunch. They’re all “What’s with this guy? We just want to do something illegal. No need to get excited.”

Personal Rating: 3. It’s better than their first short. And maybe they could have been even better than this if the studio hadn’t closed by the end of the year. It’s cool to have antagonistic protagonists, but then, being based on existing people does date things a little. Maybe things happened perfectly.

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Aviation Vacation

This is just how it is with these ‘A’ Cards.

Supervision by Fred Avery; (Last time he was credited.) Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Sidney Sutherland; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on August 2, 1941.

I don’t like flying. It’s cold, cramped, cold, takes too long to get started, monotonous, (you thought I was going to say “cold”, didn’t you?) cold, and I’m stuck in this hell with loud, squealing, pig children and jerkish adults. And there’s really nowhere on this planet that is worth a plane ride. So, can Avery’s latest gag-shtick flick convince me otherwise? No. Let’s get started.

We’re departing from Cali, where the sun is always shining. Just admist the rain, wind and snow. It’s a toon plane, so it can flap its wings. Isn’t that funny! We’ll be following railroad tracks, so we don’t get lost. Our shadow is the courteous, yet playful type. It loves to duck into tunnels, but always is sure to let the trains have the right of way. Isn’t that not boring! We just need to take in one landmark, and we’ll leave the country.

The landmark is Mt. Rushmore. (And then, since North Dakota is a myth, we’ll leave as promised into Canada.) You can see all the four presidents currently carved, and plans to add whoever wins the next election. Unless the artists get bored and put it off for the next time. Or the next, next, next, next, next, next, (Kinda annoying, isn’t it?), next, next, next, next, next, necks, next, next, next time.

Okay. Ireland is next. (Next, next, next…) Patrick here will sing us a song. We let him think we can hear him in the plane, because when he gets angry, he gets drunk, and that makes him scary. While he sings, what appears to be a hair is caught in the projector. It goes on a little too long for my tastes, but I’m really hoping some theater goers thought it was a real hair back in the day. Imagine how they must have doubted reality, when Patrick yells for it to be removed.

Next, let’s go to Darkest Africa so we can make a literal joke again. At least having just the lighted windows remain on the plane is a shake-up. But there’s no need to visit a specific country, because there’s no difference. What would you find in Morocco that you wouldn’t find in Zimbabwe? And all the natives look as racist as we deem appropriate in this era. We’ve seen it all before, so why not go all the way and make a racist, ostrich joke?

I DIDN’T MEAN IT! $^&# you, guys! I hate, loathe, and detest, the ostrich hiding head joke! Only if because it’s still done to this day! Read a book! Feel free to educate others! These are our biggest dinosaurs left! Treat them with a little more respect, would ya? BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!

Now let’s look at some butterflies. Yes, from the plane. I didn’t hear anyone say we were disembarking, did you? It’s that magical, marvelous time, when they first emerge out of their chrysalises. The magic might lessen a little, when you realize they kinda just get spat out, but look at how gorgeous they are! Even when they’re drinking other animals’ sweat, tears, and urine, you can’t get much more beautiful than lepidopterans. Unless it’s the third one. He’s been sick. *Groan* I’m not much more fond of that overused chestnut. Here’s a change up: It lows, and calls itself a buttermilkfly. No laughs? Might as well take me home, then.

And so we head back. But there’s a fog! Is every trip Avery takes us on going to end like this? We try our best to land, but we’ll have to settle for ending up part of an amusement park ride. Just relax and get dizzy. Once someone throws up, they’ll stop the machine.

Favorite Part: As sick as I am of “sick” jokes, they did do a good job making that ‘fly look sickly. The bloodshot eyes were especially effective.

Personal Rating: 1. Drawn out jokes, racist jokes, and me being a bit bitter that I couldn’t find a complete print of the short. If you have one, share the wealth, would ya? I promise to lie and say I’ll raise the score a point.

 

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Double or Mutton

“Goodnight, Ralph.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Richard Thompson, Abe Levitow, Keith Darling and Ken Harris; Layouts and Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on July 13, 1955.

Well, time to get to work. Sheep aren’t going to watch themselves. You better be ready to pay handsomely to get someone excited about being a sheep watcher. Only people like me would do something like that for free. Sam clocks in. Ralph clocks in. Those sheep aren’t going to steal themselves. It would make a very lonely life for an animal that prefers to stay in a flock. And yes, the two main player’s finally have their definitive names.

With a blow of the whistle, Ralph starts digging. Pop up as needed to refill lungs and get a good view of the area. Probably best to do that behind trees so you won’t get spotted so easily. Ralph is spotted easily, and the next tree he looks behind is Sam. One punch down, infinite to go. And Ralph doesn’t have a company he could sue for his failings. (And if you still haven’t watched that movie yet, you’re failing me. Our friendship won’t last if you can’t do this only favor I’m asking.)

Better try the opposite of under the earth. Ralph flings a harpoon into a tree, ties its line to another, and makes a tightrope to cross. Now he can obtain an ovine with a lasso, and dart back across before Sam notices. Can not will, you understand.  Sam has taken over holding the right end for the tree, and demands the sheep. Ralph complies and sprints back to left, before Sam drops the line. He makes it to the harpoon, just before Sam drops that. Sheepdogs are faster than sound.

The next plan actually does function near perfectly! Ralph fires a rocket with a rope loop at Sam, and it takes him far away. Finally! It’s taken two other cartoons, but a mutton meal is on the way! I recommend the black sheep of this herd. Ironically, it’s the one with the white face! If only Ralph had accounted for trees that might have gotten Sam’s rocket lodged in. He never considered just walking the opposite way. Have you ever carried a ewe uphill?

Time for some acting. Dis guy’s disguise is Bo Peep. As part of his role, he’s lost his sheep, but Sam needn’t bother getting up. “She” can pick it out amongst the others and take it back to her cave. (Times are rough for those Peeps.) As “she” reveals she’s a wolf, “sheep” reveals he’s a dog. Meanwhile, a sheep is suffocating inside a dog suit. It’s baked mutton or nuttin’ for dinner! And later, Sam flips Ralph’s cannon back at him. Poor Ralph gets a color change for his muzzle.

You know, Sam’s a rather fuzzy guy. If his nose wasn’t so amazing, he’d be legally blind. All Ralph heard of that was “blind”. He pours some hair growth formula on Sam and the rain and sun do their part to work it in. After the storm, Sam’s face is even more covered than usual. And he doesn’t react to Ralph waving in front of his lack of line of sight. Or Ralph’s eyes changing color. It must be working! It’s taken about three cartoons, but a mutton meal is on the way!

And Sam grabs Ralph before he lays a paw on the livestock. But time comes to rescue, and the clock says the two are done for the day. Bidding each other goodnight, they head off for a haircut and massage, respectively.

Favorite Part: The smile on Ralph’s face when he realizes he dug behind Sam. It’s equal points horrified, clueless, and hilarious. Beautifully complimented by Sam’s wry little half grin.

Personal Rating: 4. And that’s all on Ralph here. His expressions and dances belie his carnivorous nature, and make him look like an overly confident kid.

 

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Crockett-doodle-doo

“So I’m not a smart hunter.”

He’s practically an education!

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Warren Batchelder, Tom Ray, George Grandpre, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Bob Singer; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on June 25, 1960.

It’s a beautiful day! And you should take advantage of every one of those, since Earth’s stupid axis keeps weather from being pleasant 24/365.25. Foghorn decides to spend it out in the wilderness. As he goes on his way, he sees Egghead Jr. (making a final appearance) enjoying the day the way I would: face planted in a book. Back in these days, a good chunk of adults didn’t understand that it’s a perfectly healthy way to spend one’s childhood. Foghorn decides to help out.

He’s not a moment too soon, as those difficult books have done something to Egghead’s head. When he means yes, he shakes his head, and nods for a no. That’s Foggy’s assessment anyhow, and I’m not going to doubt anyone with a dead raccoon on their noggin. The kid’s coming along and he’ll learn everything there is to know about roughing it. I’d come along, but I failed killing a trout with my bare hands back in my school days. If M&M’s weren’t around, I’d have starved long ago.

First step is getting a fire going. Without matches because those don’t exist in the wild. I don’t know if Foggy is doing it wrong, but it looks like it could work. Just would take time and effort, like all best things in life. But brains mean we can do things faster, cheaper, and supposedly better! Jr. demonstrates by making a match out of a stick. Foghorn deems the stunt impossible, and tries it himself. The stick doesn’t ignite, but his plumes do.

Once you’ve got a fire, you might as well get something to cook over it. Foghorn carves himself a didgeridoo and calls it a duck call. It’s better than that, though. It’s a pig call! One or two toots and you’ll get an adorable, excitable porcine pal who is eager to give you a ride. I want it. I will have it. And true happiness will finally be mine. Finally, someone to share my M&M’s with!

Now what kind of wilderness activities would these be without a little casual stereotyping? Foghorn puts on his native garb to participate in a little smoke signalling. Could you really send more of a message than “I’m over here.”? The kid can. And this proves he can communicate. Another thing from these days: many adults thought if you didn’t talk, it was because you weren’t smart enough to. Rather than realizing we’re smart enough not to.

Foggy’s getting a little upset that he keeps being made the fool, so he’s going to trick the little smarty into thinking he’s done the impossible: doing a dance to start a storm. He’s got sheet metal and a watering can hidden in the trees, so when he pulls the ropes, he can make it till he fakes it. Jr. will never see those ropes. (There’s colored chunks of space around that can. I think the universe is unraveling faster than I intended. I mean… eh, I don’t care what you think of it.)

Guess what? Junior can do the same but better. He places some dry ice in a paper airplane, and sends it towards a low hanging cloud. Rain and lightning abound. Maybe this would actually work! If I’m ever dumb enough to take another airplane trip, I’ll be sure to throw some of that stuff out the window. We might as well move on to trapping now. Most eating-prey would only be answering our calls at this point.

Foghorn sets his trap, and sees Jr. making a much more elaborate one. He once told a different kid this kind of stuff doesn’t work, but doesn’t recall that it did work and he got eaten afterwards. Jr.’s is more fun though, and it flings Foghorn every which way and what way before getting him snared. If there’s a silver lining, it’s that Foghorn is now finally convinced to attain higher learning. And just think, if he works really hard, he could be a C.E.O. one day!

Favorite Part: Jr. makes an actual duck call that works. I knew it would. Made funny with the reveal that it attracted the young, hormonal, teen ducks. (Given how smart the kid is, I’m guessing he wanted this.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Coyote Vs Acme (First Thoughts)

“How hard can it be to catch a bird?”

Coyote goes a courtin’.

The wait has been agonizing. For years now, we’ve waited to be able to see this movie. Not even 100% sure we’d ever get to without underhanded means. But the fans and movie industry weren’t going to just ignore the problem this time. We made fusses. We made sure W.B. knew how angry and disappointed we were in them. We signed petitions. We made our voices heard since Wile E. didn’t have that luxury. We never gave up and we were rewarded in the end. It’s beautiful.

If you’re on this site, you’ve seen this film.  You know it’s great, but let me explain why just in case. I’ll spoil as little as I can, but you get the warning regardless.

I must admit, I was pleased with the attendance at my theater. Not sold out, but mostly full and not even entirely comprised of single, middle-aged, animation nerds. There were families and young couples! And that one annoying kid who wouldn’t stop loudly playing with his reclining seat. But I’m choosing to believe he was just having a hard time getting comfortable. Myself, I was there with my parents, brother and his wife. None of whom are fans of my caliber, but have enough interest to not just be there for courtesy’s sake.

The film wastes no time getting started. And does a good job of making you feel bad for Wile E. It’s never been hard, but you need to keep that sympathy for feature length. That’s a bit more tricky. Even better, the preexisting characters still feel like themselves in this. There wasn’t a moment where I was rolling my eyes and thinking “They wouldn’t do that. Come on!” Wile E. is the genius I’ve always known him to be, but also a toon. Doing a few actions that don’t serve him in any way, except being funny. Even Foghorn playing an antagonistic role. He felt believable! He’s never been the nicest guy, but when sorting the Tunes into “good and evil” categories, most would put him in good. Me included.

Branching off from the characters, they utilized a ton of them. And it was thrilling to see some who had still yet to make it to one of these films. I audibly said “YES!” when the Dodo appeared. Was not expecting Babbit and Catstello to show up. And was proud when by bro recognized Cool Cat! (Okay, so he just referred to him as “That tiger from the ’60’s.” A victory is a victory.) And they looked good! … For the most part! Okay, so I can’t say they looked perfect. Correction: I can’t say they ALL did.

My golden boys, Porky and Bugs, looked the best. Maybe because they were hand drawn? I don’t know why the others had to be c.g. Expenses, no doubt, but then why not do the same for all? I’m not complaining. They still looked nice enough! Right up until the film’s end. The budget running out by then? Why did that final crowd look so rough? I never wanted to see Hippety Hopper put down before, but it would have been a blessing! (I’m probably exaggerating.)

The live actors? Fine. I don’t know if I’m the best person to judge that. But I didn’t find anyone halfphoning or assing it in. The antagonists were my favorites. Delightfully hammy, but still believable for the world they were set in. Which also merits bringing up. This movie suggests that the characters were never actors. Wile E. has to introduce himself to everyone. Bugs isn’t immediately recognized by his voice alone. It’s not a big deal, but they do show the original shorts a few times. Maybe that’s just how Wile E. is remembering things? Then how does that explain the brief snippet of “Hare-way to the Stars“? Did Bugs really go into space?

The only other part I was raising my eyebrow at? There is a liar reveal in this picture. But it’s over and done so quick, that it made me question if it was really necessary. However, it did lead into the emotional low point of the film (as usual) and it looked like Wile E. had finally and truly quit. That’s when I heard that kid say “Don’t give up!” And my heart warmed. He had been invested after all! Even better, he saw the character as real as the human actor. So I have no way of proving that. I just figured that if you can get a reaction out of anybody, you’re doing something right.

What I was really worried about was the comedy. A lot of the later Looney works have been hit and miss in that department. My worries turned out to be as hilarious as the film. This was some great slapstick! Fast, punchy, crunchy, inventive and never distracting from the story at hand. Spoken jokes were also witty, and even Wile E.’s sign language got some good giggles. I was laughing out loud and I wasn’t the only one. (I was the only one who made sure to watch all the credits. The fam. doesn’t count because they were asking to leave.)

Oh yeah, this film had the heart too. It’s great to see Wile E. making friends. It’s sobering when you find out what Acme has been doing to toons. It’s beautiful when Granny is reunited with her lost husband. (Yeah, who’d have thought her and Peter Lorre would be together? Guess the “Pete” name doesn’t need to be used around here anymore.) And biggest of all: it’s beautiful to see what I’ve always figured for years: the Road Runner sees Wile E. as a friend. (Of course, now for the sake of argument, what if Wile E. caught him eventually? Could he really eat the guy?)

I’m eagerly awaiting my next viewing. I know I missed some cameos. (Several names are written down on files, but I only saw Rocky and Mugsy’s. Why are they the two characters I’m always able to notice?) It’s already risen to 2nd place on my Looney movies chart. And the highest praise I can give it? I’m certain that Chuck would have loved it too. Thank you Ketchup, for bringing us this opportunity. Thank you everyone who helped.

Favorite Part: Wile E.’s Rube Golberg finale. It’s fun to watch, you have no idea what it’s supposed to do on a first viewing, and the little extra bit of icing on the cherry on top? Wile E. waving his fingers like a conductor. He’s in his element, and since Acme had no part in it, it goes off without a hitch.

Personal Rating: 4