Category: Bosko

The first Looney Tune! He helped establish the series and for that, we are forever grateful.

Posted on

Bosko’s Mechanical Man

“Oh, suh-wish.”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Thomas McKimson. A Looney Tune released on September 27, 1933.

It’s the final Harmon/Ising film with this studio, which means it’s also the last Bosko short with them. Coming out just a few months after a certain mouse’s “…Mechanical Man”, it feels original enough due to robots not being exclusive to Disney. (Just Blue Sky, who wasn’t around yet.)

Honey does some window washing, giving Bosko an opportunity to trace “I love you” in the water. (From the wrong side mind you. Oops.) He even picks the flowers in front of her house as a gift. Usually in cartoons, that’s what the villain trying to marry for money does. (I was hoping Honey would thank him and plant them right back.) Honey is very happy to see the kid, as he can help her wash some dishes. Bosko laughs at the very idea. I mean him? Doing a woman’s work? Let’s all laugh as the scene fades.

Fade in to see Bosko helping out like a good boy. (Love his sour face.) Of course, being a man means he’s going to eventually do something dumb to catch his crush’s attention. In this case, carrying too many plates at once and heading outside. Honey angrily stomps outside once she hears the crash and glares at him. Just glares. But she’s disappointed and that’s really the worst punishment. She’s not going to forgive this one easily.

Bosko catches sight of the daily paper which is kinda light on the “news”. The top story is just the technocrats of the world proclaiming that robots will one day be doing most of our work. (It’s like that time I made the front page predicting that everyone older than me was likely to die before I did.) It doesn’t matter if I think it’s a waste of ink and trees, Bosko’s got an idea. And he doesn’t even need any sort of engineering degree to put it together. Just a some irons here, a stove there…

Honey demands he get back inside which is confusing. Wouldn’t she want him as far away from her china as possible? Like in China? But Bosko is sure about about this. His positivity is instantly challenged when Bosko Jr. is brought to life. It’s got no reason to be, but angry and murderous it is. It runs amok and you’d be smart to lock your doors, but only if you lived in Fort Knox. It can break down doors. Piano music can calm it, but only if you keep playing. And why would Bosko do that if his life depended on it? He’s got no future at Warners.

Honey to the rescue! She realizes that what this robot needed all along was a phonograph in its butt. Why are you making that face? Do you need to read the sentence again? She realizes that what this robot needed all along was a phonograph in its butt. Happy? He sings along to the record, but it has a crack and he skips a lot. He’s not placated and chases the two out of the house. They pass the sleeping Bruno (Who’s just been outside the whole time. Guess they just wanted to show him one last time, too.) but the robot stops to shock the dog awake letting the doorbell wiring go through his body. And he has pupils now. (And your eyes would dilate too if you had what he had crammed up there.)

The three are chased, but Bosko is able to keep his loved ones safe by hurling some dynamite down his creation’s throat. The robot is dead which is a shame since he wasn’t really alive at any point. And I’m still wondering why he was motivated to act like he did. Did Bosko program him to feel pain? I figure having a stove potbelly does give you eternal heartburn.

Favorite Part: A small thing, (as most of my favorite parts are) but I love the robot’s grinding teeth being the teeth of gears that are grinding. Clever.

Personal Rating: 2. Not a horrible film to end on. (Hint. Develop some new characters at MGM, guys. I’m begging ya 91 years late!)

Posted on

Bosko the Musketeer

“Hi-dee hi! Ho-dee ho! Ho-dee hey!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Robert Stokes. A Looney Tune released on September 16, 1933.

Bosko gallivants along to visit Honey. (Bruno briefly appears, but won’t be featuring.) This surely ain’t no surprise visit, as Honey is dusting all things that might be any and every. (Poor fish looks uncomfortable.) Bosko arrives just as she finishes dusting a painting of the three musketeers. Truly awesome folks, eh Bosko? He’s not too impressed and starts fencing with an umbrella while his honey, Honey, sings.

And suddenly the screen dissolves to Bosko actually BEING a musketeer and fencing with a SWORD against four adversaries. Sounds like a daunting task, but Bosko’s got a an arm up his sleeve that can do a trick. Namely, letting the gauntlet do all the work while it nips out to unleash keg contents on the four anti-musketeers. Speaking of, counting Bosko we’ve got one short musketeer and two short. And a name like that will never sell. Where’s the rest of them?

In the tavern of course. Since their is three of them, I guess Bosko is our D’Artagnan. Can you name the others? I’ve never read the book or seen any film adaptations, so I’m useless. (But I’ve eaten the candy bar several times!) What a pal, Bosko is. Always looking out for those of us who spent our high school years reading “Asterix” comics for our french fix. I now know that they go by Athos, Amos and Andy. (Truly the “Star Wars” of their day if the amount of references is any indication.)

Lets sing! Dance! Have a good time! Drink and be merry! Look! They’re even inspiring Mickey clones 205, 634 and 431. Swell guys, these musketeers. Even if they do have a habit of using oddly quick cuts to down their drinks. The whole place loves these guys! And yes, that includes clone 511. But it doesn’t include the obvious villain; a man with really hairy hands, or prickly pears attached at his wrists. And now Honey arrives. Is she part of Bosko’s imagination? Or did she take over telling the tale so she could self-insert herself into it? Who imagines the imaginer?

Well, she’s not in period appropriate clothing, so I guess Bosko is the creator of all we’re seeing. (That’s why she can be as topless as she always is.) Obvious villain grabs her, which can’t be at all pleasant with whatever extremities he has coming out of his arms. Bosko to the rescue as the other three have suddenly ceased to exist. Or maybe they’re just giving him a chance to prove himself? Sword dueling commence! Both are evenly matched and damage to their weapons doesn’t automatically mean they’re out. O.V. has a caddy, and Bosko’s sword fits in the pencil sharpener.

Bosko is ultimately the victor because he places a shovelful of hot coals into his adversaries pants. Thus bringing Bosko’s little power trip to a close. But Honey doesn’t believe any of it. (Was Bosko claiming it really happened?) So Bosko busts out the big question: “Was you there, Charlie?” (But… you had her there. So were you really rescuing some homely lady the whole time and you just inserted your girlfriend to get brownie points?)

Favorite Part: While Honey entertains the tavern with a dance, Bosko can’t help but gush about her to the nearest patron. It’s sweet.

Personal Rating: 2. Pretty standard Bosko saves Honey plot. If you’re thinking the two should retire by this point, don’t worry. They only had two more shorts with the W.B. after this.

Posted on

Bosko’s Woodland Daze

“Are ya listenin’ to me?”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Paul Smith. A Looney Tune released on March 22, 1933.

When a summer is nearing its end, the smart people sob, and bemoan the fact that the evil of winter will be upon the land once more, and then will migrate to follow the sun’s sweet, sweet kiss. I always figured Bosko was smart, so I have no idea why he’s frolicking and harmonica-ing during what is clearly autumn. Maybe that’s why Bruno is here as well? Make sure the kid’s all right in the head, and take him to the nearest psych ward if need be.

My theory seems to be correct, as Bosko actually tries to hide from the dog. (Lock him up now. I don’t want to see coldlikers on the streets!) The wind blows Bosko’s leaf camouflage away, and Bruno lets him know by pulling a vine in between his legs. Bosko seems to be enjoying it a bit TOO much. (If you’re going to jig after such an activity, can you do it indoors?) Time for a game of hide and seek! Bruno hides first!

He’s easily found, thanks to the woodpecker that rat(a-tat-tat)s him out. So now Bosko will hide while the hound will seek him. (Quit turning your back on the guy! He needs indoctrination!) Bruno is easily distracted by a turtle, so Bosko is free to spread his unhealthy opinions around the globe! But as anyone who has played hide and seek knows, you get exhausted by the second round. Bosko decides to sleep.

Yeah, um, what kind of tree is he under? I don’t think you should be seeing images of ghost gnomes whilst slumbering! This tree makes LSD look an LDS church! The little terrors trap Bosko in a large bubble in order to give him an overeating nightmare! No, that was another guy. They’ll scare him away from smoking! No, no, not that either! Well then, what will they subject him to? Attractive flower sprites? Maybe there is something to this trippy tree after all!

But before Bosko can enjoy the nectar-drenched honeys, he sneezes and pops the bubble. And since spiderweb was never meant to be a safety net, he falls and falls and lands on a piano that is way too large for him to play, never mind the gnomes. But Bosko is a musician who can play just about anything, and puts on a better show than any of you pianists could. Is this why the gnomes captured him? I mean who else could own…

Oh. There’s a giant with a dopey laugh. That explains the grand grand. Bosko tries to make a run for it, but ends up on the table. Now the giant has everything he needs to make a Bosko sandwich. (You’d never have ended up here if you just detested the cold like a decent person. Just saying.) As the giant slathers on the mustard, we fade back to reality. The slathering was just Bruno’s tongue. He found Bosko in the end. Things will be just fine.

Favorite Part: Just how broken and sad Bruno looks when Bosko first hides from him. His face just screams “What did I do wrong? Why would Bosko abandon me? I can change!”

Personal Rating: 3. Entertaining second half, but pretty slow build up.

Posted on

Bosko the Sheep Herder

“Baaaa!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Max Maxwell. A Looney Tune released on June 14, 1933.

Sheep herding is a very noble profession. Watching happy little lambs, grow and mature. Shearing them bald regularly, and eventually turning them into mutton chops. (Or lamb if you’re that impatient.) Bosko enjoys what he does. He gets to lean back against a tree on a beautiful, peaceful day, and blow his pipe music for the enjoyment of his flock. But if there’s anything better than being the herder, it’s being a lamb.

Lambs are happy creatures. The world is their playground, lunch table, and toilet all rolled up in one. And they’ve got strong, lively legs that allow them to enjoy it to the fullest. Plus, they’re young enough to not have to worry about taxes, the destruction of wetlands, and the inevitable wars that will occur in the future. If they’re really lucky, they’ll end up on a plate by their third month of life. But I digress.

Bosko’s lambs enjoy eating and frolicking. (And proving you can’t spell ‘disappear’ without ‘ear’.) But as much as they like to eat and frolic, they don’t enjoy being forced to frolic because they ate a grasshopper. Don’t worry though. Both of them survive. Bosko may love his sheep, but he is happy to screw over bees, considering they have a history. He takes their hive, evicts them, and as the ultimate humiliation: converts their house into bagpipes. That’s just cold.

Bruno is here too, but if he’s supposed to be a sheepdog, he’s a lousy one. He’s sleeping! Real sheepdogs can tally the sleep and stay awake at the same time. (Poser.) His snoring can make tiny… raccoons I think, pop out of the log he’s in front of. If he was on his A-game, then he could stop the lambs from escaping through the broken fence whose repairs Bosko keeps putting off. They do a good job of demolishing the grass on the other side.

Grazing always makes me hungry, and so it is with Bosko. Time for a sandwich break. Chewing in traditional Bosko style: mouth-open. (Blech.) All this eating attracts more attention: that of a wolf. Wolves love sheep, because stories with a wolf and a sheep, usually end in favor of the lupine. And do note that they didn’t choose the best background for him to leap on to. Looks like he landed on the empty space in front of a bush.

He decides to use the ‘ole “sheep’s clothing disguise.” Even bleating to be all the more convincing. It works, and he walks off with a lamb in his paws. Bosko whistles for Bruno and the two give chase to the cave that the wolf is hiding out in. Bosko gets the lamb out safely, but seeing the wolf exit makes him assume the worst for his canine buddy. Except he needn’t weep, because Bruno killed the wolf and is just wearing his carcass. HOLY- (And somewhere, there is a female wolf and pups who are never going to the last member of their family again.)

Favorite Part: The face the lamb makes when the wolf reveals himself. It’s over the top, and comedic. Just what I expect from a cartoon.

Personal Rating: 2. There’s a lot of fluff.

Posted on

Ain’t Nature Grand?

“Go home.”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Norm Blackburn. A Looney Tune released in March, 1931.

Yes, I definitely think so. That’s why I prefer to stay inside and not bother it. Okay, fine. I admit that a little hike every once in a while isn’t so bad, but camping is to me what salt is to a snail. Bosko is not me, so he’s going to go the outdoors in my place. Followed by that little dog who barks after he say’s “That’s all folks!” instead of Bruno, because he had yet to exist. (The little dog doesn’t feature into this picture, but I thought I’d mention it all the same. Everyone deserves to be mentioned.)

Bosko has ventured out today to partake in the sport of kingfishers: fishing. Of course, fishing is illegal at this stretch of water, so Bosko sets up right next to the prohibiting sign. They’ll never think to look for him there! (Besides, Mickey partook in illegal fishing once, and look how many theme parks that mouse owns now!) But, darn it! That Bosko is such a big-hearted fellow; he just can’t bring himself to impale a worm on a fish hook. He grants the annelid its freedom and decides to use the “N” and “O” but the sign instead. (Hey, that fixes the “illegal” problem!) Now guaranteed safety from death by fish, the little fella runs from a bird.

Bosko’s makeshift bait works like a charm! You can’t spell “Fine Food” without letters 14 and 15. And if you think Bosko taking pity on a lower life-form makes him a hypocrite, he only intended to catch the fish to pet it. (It really is cute.) But I’ve seen what happens when Bosko pets animals. At least fish spit is a new type of saliva for his ocular organs to try. It gets away. Bosko instead takes to following a butterfly instead. He’s having a much harder time catching it, which gives it plenty of time to lead him to a secret place. One never seen by talk-ink kid eyes.

This is the waterfall of harmony. The water’s here are so good and pure, that any animal that feels the presence of the spray instantly gets along with what it would normally consider its prey/predator. As evidenced by the bee’s that dance to spider music. (If you were here last week, then you know how they normally act around each other.) Bosko likes music, Bosko likes dancing, and he thinks he’s as grand as nature, so he joins in. The bees are as unfriendly as that fish, and refuse to dance with Bosko, on account of him not being striped. The spider is more forward thinking, and still plays for the dancing kid. But what are those bees planning?

Well, they’ve roped a… dragonfly I think, into their scheme. They’ll use it like a plane, with a flower propeller, (all three of them just forgetting they have functional wings) and grab a rock to drop on Bosko. A rock that grew exponentially from up there to down here! I’m surprised Bosko’s spine didn’t snap like a stale saltine! But the bees aren’t finished. Grabbing a nest of either smaller bees or wasps, and a hollow twig, (Weird.) they craft themselves a handy little gun that can fire winged venom pouches at non-striped folks. (Bees are little sh*ts! Why are we bothering to keep them alive again?)

Bosko runs (Wait, the gun disappears for one shot! It’s not hard to miss!) but the bees aren’t content with just getting him off their land. They fire, and Bosko’s screams of pain sound quite genuine. Makes me want to give the guy a care package. He manages to take refuge in one of nature’s most beautiful and safe sanctuaries: a man-made fountain. (Well, parks count as nature, don’t they?)

Favorite Part: Bosko dancing in a chorus line with four frogs. It’s adorable, and they look like they’re really having a good time together. Oh, that wonderful waterfall!

Personal Rating:2

Posted on

Bosko the Drawback

“Are you listening?”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Bob McKimson. A Looney Tune released in 1933.

Tomorrow is July 4th. That day is pretty important to my country. And to celebrate that, what could be more patriotic than football? American football. The one where hands are involved. (Everyone knows we are a dumb country. It’s okay to say it.)

Game day! The crowds are eager to get inside and see some action! That includes Mickey clones 213, 514, 726, 556, and 715. (Only 751 before I’ve named them all!) As the title suggests, our hero that we should be rooting for is Bosko himself. Never again will you see the very epitome of athletic superstardom. And he’s getting one heck of rubdown. Kinda makes me uncomfortable. Actually, him too. He starts out enjoying it, but his handler really goes all in with his work.

Time for the kickoff! (I think that’s what the beginning of the game is called. Why would you think I’d know anything about any sport?) Bosko gets the ball and makes some good distance. All thanks to their dachshund play. You know the one. That play where you have a German wiener dog running in front of you in a pointed shape, thus knocking your opponents away. (Well, as long as there isn’t a pile-up of them.) Such an exciting game, that even Mortimer Mouse clone number one can’t help but cheer. (Which is hard to do with a broken foot.)

Just to remind you this is American, (I guess) we get an eagle perched atop ole stars ‘n stripes. (These were the good days, when there was only sixteen states. Let’s be real, the rest are just filler.) On the field, a caterpillar who I thought was just a member of the band, runs, despite getting tackled apart, slowly, segment by segment. And what about that crowd? Making an image of a talking head? Complete with raspberry action? Why are we paying the athletes millions of dollars?

Bosko’s got some real competition now. The hunchback of Notre Dame! (He’s may be an ape, but he earned that title.) And a random title card introduces us to the four horsemen, Boris, Morris, Loris and Porous. (Why couldn’t you announce them, Bosko? Your millions not paying enough? Entitled little…!) Bosko runs away, then in the next shot he’s running in the opposite direction. Because he’s about to pull the other classic dachshund maneuver! Using the dog to launch yourself over the goal! I think that means the game is over and Bosko’s team won. If only all sports games could finish in under seven minutes.

Favorite Part: I like the look on Bosko’s face when his masseuse (for lack of whatever the real term would be) snaps his neck. (He’s a toon! He’s fine!)

Personal Rating: 2

Posted on

Bosko at the Zoo

“GET IN THERE!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Larry Martin. A Looney Tune released on January 9, 1932.

As someone who has loved animals from the moment he exited the womb, I’ve also always been a fan of zoos. Granted, as an adult I now know that not every one of them is on the up and up, but I still think they get a bad rap. Many of them are really trying these days, people! What I’m trying to say is, I’m envious that Bosko would rather take his girlfriend on a zoological outing rather than me. (Even if that does mean I’d have to ride on his handlebars.)

For the time being, it looks rather nice. The habitats are spacious enough, and it looks sanitary. Bosko’s nose even turns white. (That means it’s a good’un.) Honey’s a wee bit scared of the lion, (Wimp.) but she is fairly interested in the aquarium section. (Oh!… um… I… I’ll just wait for you over by the exit. I’m sorry I intruded on your alone time!) The fish inside the tank have lots of fun, playing leap-frogfish, and using an octopus as a maypole, but the sad reality is that they are just the fodder for the larger fish in the tank. (Nice touch making Bosko and Honey all wiggly. Really adds to the illusion of bent light.)

By this point, an ostrich gets a hold of Bosko’s hat. Since there isn’t any employees around, Bosko is free to chase the bird into the enclosure. He actually manages to keep pace with the bird, and grabs it. In turn, his hat is swallowed. Bosko ain’t having none of that, and forces the bird to lay an egg. Even though the black coloring suggests this ostrich is male, it manages to get an egg out, and Bosko’s hat is within.

The ostrich is upset, and probably humiliated by this, so Bosko plays a pipe to cheer it up. (Honey is just gone by this point. Either walked home, or was thrown to the bears.) This really gets the place jumping. The beavers beat their tails and the kangaroos in the same habitat, dance. (Is Bosko just in a zoo? Oh, yeah. He really is this time.) Some monkey’s scratch themselves to the beat, but they get serious when one of them really needs his friends help to remove his itch.

The friend pulls out whatever it was, and puts it on a plate. But he only pretends to eat it. So when the other monkey tries to help himself, he gets a fork in his hand. This really pisses Bosko off for some reason, and he marches into their enclosure to spank the monkey. (I still mean that literally after four years! Sheesh.) Just like the last time he did that, he angers a gorilla who shares the space. He ain’t happy and chases Bosko through the suddenly much larger area. (Watch the teleporting monkey!)

Even though I could have sworn this was on level ground, Bosko has to jump out of the enclosure, (Which just has an exit. That’s dangerous on so many levels, including ground and where we are now.) and he lands on a lion. No clue if this is the one from earlier, but it gives chase. Bosko runs along with the ostrich and walrus also in the habitat. (More fodder. On another note, that pinniped is keeping remarkable pace with the bird.) They have no choice but to stop at a wall. As zoo animals, they have no proof that anything even exists beyond it!

Bosko leaps atop the wall, and the lion crashes into the other two. In turn, the three animals are combined into some kind of horrifying chimaera that must live whatever short life it has left in bitter agony. And Bosko is quite cheery if his smile is any indication.

Favorite Part: The whole cartoon went by, and not once did they make the stupid joke about ostriches burying their heads in fright! It’s an animated miracle!

Personal Rating: 2

Posted on

The Tree’s Knees

“Ain’t that cute?”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Rollin Hmilton. A Looney Tune released in August, 1931.

The occupation of the day is lumberjack. Bosko makes a fine lumberjack. He has an axe, and that’s all that is necessary. He locates a fine group of trees and prepares to kill them all. (He’ll probably make them into paper! Or firewood! Or mulch! Isn’t it fun to imagine what a living thing’s demise will lead to?) Before Bosko can make even one chop, the trees reveal theri sentience. It seems to be a family, as the smaller ones plead with Bosko to cease his upcoming violence.

They call him “Big Hearted Bosko” for a reason. He spares the family of trees. In fact, to show that he’s truly sorry, he pulls out his harmonica. What a treat! Bosko is willing to share his musical prowess with those less fortunate than him! Such gaiety! Too bad one of the tree’s is still a prick. Even after Bosko decided to let them keep on living, it has the balls (or knees, I suppose) to blow a razz berry. Bosko chases the color-changing tree, and actually manages to tear the brat’s bark off. Turns out, it’s the human equivalent of clothes, not skin. So the little monster is just cold and embarrassed, rather than bleeding sap profusely.

They call him “Big Hearted…” oh, you know what I mean! Bosko returns the plant’s hide, and it still is an a-hole, giving Bosko a kick in his own knees. (The little son of a beech.) At least there are nicer trees in this forest. Some of them actually act as a nanny for the nests of bird chicks that rest in their branches. (They tend to get a little too carried away rocking them, but it’s a far cry from what I’ve seen thus far today.) Bosko also forgets the number one rule of the woods, which is: don’t stand under a bird without an umbrella. Oops. Too late.

Don’t worry. It’s not what you think. Even though it IS white, it was just bird tobacco. (Why does a creature with no teeth partake in the act of chaw? The real question is: why does he need pants?) Perhaps it would be wiser for Bosko to interact with less salivary animals. Like a beautiful butterfly! Bosko happily gives chase, and finds something else amazing to his music loving soul. Apparently, if trees are thin enough, and close enough to each other, they can be used exactly like a harp! (They also don’t move around. Different breed)

Heck, why doesn’t nature join in Bosko’s merrymaking? One tree uses the vines on his body as a makeshift violin. It sounds rather nice to me, but the obligatory weeping willow joke seems to disagree. (And if you needed at least two willow puns, we also get an appearance of the pussy variety.) Some more Mickey clones are even here, enjoying this lovely day while playing with a discarded saw. (That’s numbers 516 and 729, for you. They laugh in the face of Disney lawsuits. I mean, danger.)

Realizing there’s more fun to be had with a (see) saw than that, the two of them cut out a wood disc and find it works just like a record; their bodies working like a phonograph. The music is so wonderful, that even a tree wouldn’t be able to keep itself from dancing. (Which would have been more surprising if we HADN’T spent the last six minutes seeing mobile shrubbery.) I can only guess that Bosko is going to need a change of career after this. I doubt he’ll ever be able to look at a credenza the same way again.)

Favorite Part: Clone 516 falls in a puddle and begins to drown. 729 jumps in to save his pal, but finds the water is as shallow as a puddle. At least, the left side is.

Personal Rating: 3

Posted on

Big Man from the North

“Get your man!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Robert Edmunds. A Looney Tune released in February of 1931.

No, the title isn’t referring to someone like Santa or Michael Moore. We mean “big” in the figurative sense. Bosko is a member of the “Mounted Police.” He may be small, but he’s also timid. (Which makes him braver than I.) Who might the villain of this picture be, anyway? Some fellow who looks a little like a cross between Peg-leg Pete and a homeless ursine. (What do you want from me? I’m “creative clever”, not “funny clever.”)

Snow time like the present! (I’m ashamed I said that.) Bosko heads out to serch with his mismatched dog sled team. Yuppy, Yoppy, and Yahoopy. They may not be the best dogs around, but they don’t give up. Don’t matter how bad the weather gets! They stay on their course, despite all the contortioning their bodies go through. Even getting smushed against a building and becoming one single, horrendous, abomination creature doesn’t faze them all that much. (I’m so proud and nauseous.)

Said building is a saloon. Seems like there’s people inside it too. Looks like Bosko will have to suck in his fear, and check to see if his adversary has chosen such a place to hide out. Why! This place isn’t scary! In fact, I’d say it’s downright merry! Everybody is smiling, dancing, and enjoying the entertainment that Honey is providing. And since Bosko IS dating her, he has every right to hop up next to her and perform a little as well. (You’ll never find a better hand-blower-player in the world. I’ll see to it.)

Unfortunately, all that did was whet Bosko’s appetite for applause. Time for some ivory tickling! (He even has some backup provided by the angriest beavers this side of Nickelodeon.) Either nobody wanted to hear Bosko play, or they just knew his music would attract an antagonist. Either way, they leave just in time for Leg’s a peg Zeke to waltz in like he owns the place, and fire every which way. This looks like a job for the Mounted Police! Bosko has a gun at the ready, and a hand that can change from black to white. (I wish I could do that. Ladies can’t resist such a cute trick) Too bad his gun is a pop gun. Things look bad.

BLACKOUT! It really is Bosko’s only option. Dousing the lights gives him a bit of advantage, as his chromatically challenged skin blends in perfectly with the absence of light. (Zeke however, is a rather bright shade of black, so he is always visible. Can’t you see him?) With the thug disoriented, Bosko is able to get a hold of a machine gun and unload it into the big guy’s posterior. Then, all it takes is a little action with a sword, and a rifle to reveal that under his fur, he was as naked as the rest of us. With his source of power gone, the brute flees into the distance as everyone conveniently comes out of hiding to cheer Bosko on. (Including Mickey clones 540 and 176. They might be my favorites.)

Favorite Part: That sword I mentioned? Bosko doesn’t just poke the guy. He freakin’ impales him with it! Seriously, I don’t think it could go in any further without sticking out the other end! The Mounted Police don’t f*ck around.)

Personal Rating: 2

Posted on

Big Hearted Bosko

“Bruno, where are you?”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Rollin Hamilton. A Looney Tune released on March 5, 1932.

Really, that doesn’t sound too healthy. Is it like a tumor? Or maybe he just has bad cholesterol or-OH! It’s meant figuratively! And here I thought it might be a clue as to why we don’t see Bosko much anymore.

As I’ve stated many times before, I don’t get the love for the cold. So I really can’t fathom why Bosko would want to be outside in it. (I guess it really doesn’t bother him any. He’s not wearing anything different than his usual get-up.) Bruno has tagged along for this trip, and the two spend some time skating on ice. (They have the whole pond to themselves as nobody else seems to want to skate on ice that has large holes in it. Cowards.)

Okay, sure. Bruno nearly falls in a couple of times, but that doesn’t mean he will-oh, d*mn it. Bruno! How are we to enjoy your escapades if you end up in the death water? I suppose you best be saving him, Bosko.

Bosko is afraid he is too late, as his dog doesn’t surface. He’s fine, though. He comes out via a frozen log. Angry that his dog could have actually died, Bosko throws a stick in frustration. A stick? Bruno loves those! He goes to retrieve it. The stick landed next to a basket, and there must be something inside because noise is coming from within. (It’s a little known fact, but baskets don’t make noises.) This is clearly a job for a man! Or better yet, a talk-ink kid! We’ve got one of those! Bosko is hesitant, but he takes a peek. Why, it’s a baby! Whoever left it out here to die is long gone, but Bosko won’t be viewed any better if he just leaves it. Better adopt the child. It’s what Jesus would do.

At home, the baby continues to wail despite Bosko’s violin playing. (Yeah, I’m not surprised this kid was left to freeze.) The only thing that seems to cheer it up ever so slightly, is a frustrated Bruno being unaware that the seat he is taking is a hot stove. (Clever way of dousing the flames. Pouring the water IN his body. Haven’t seen that method. I should try it on this spare cat I have.) Obviously, burning dogs is something even Satan wouldn’t stoop to, so we need an alternative plan. Music didn’t work before, maybe we should try it again.

Hey, what do you know, that seems to be working! (I guess the child just hates violins and flutes. All the cool babies listen to piano music.) Bruno even decides to keep being entertaining, and puts a lamp shade on like a skirt. Even Bosko’s dinner squawks a note. (Chop the freaking head off, man. What’s the matter with you?) Yes, I think this family just might work out after all. Even if Bosko’s dancing has ended with him getting his head stuck in the fish bowl.

Favorite Part: When Bosko asks the kid what the matter is. Surprisingly, the kid responds. It’s “Crying for the Carolines.”

Personal Rating: 3