Porky’s Hotel

“Hello.Where’dyagetthefunnylookin’foot?Gee,that’sthefunniestlookin’footinthewholeworld. I beeet’cha.”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Norm McCabe and John Carey; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on September 2, 1939.

If you’ve ever driven through the scenic two-toned gray lands of America’s navel, you might have seen a bumper sticker for Donut Center. It’s not important enough to be listed on any maps, and most people who have heard of it, tend to erase it from their memory as soon as something slightly more exciting occurs. It gets to a point where a good number of people start to wonder if it wasn’t just some mass hallucinogenic…hallucination. It’s out there, though. You just need to keep your eyes open at all times. No blinking.

Apologies to Alex Hirsch. It’s hard not to be inspired by his world.

Donut Center is a quaint little town. It’s only got one hotel, but the guy running the place is Porky. No rebuttal. Porky is already a great guy, he naturally has a great hotel. (And it’s small enough for him to run it all himself. No employees.) During his mid-morning sweep, he sees a fancy type car approaching, and it looks like it’s making a beeline for his establishment. Of course it is! No questions. The car’s occupant is a goat. He has gout. Good thing his name is already Gouty, or I’d be calling him that myself. (No guilt.)

Old Gouty wants a rest. Porky’s hotel is the best. It’s logical that he would come to this hotel above all others for his need of a calm getaway. While Porky attends to the goat’s luggage, Gouty makes himself comfortable. All too soon, conflict rears its infuriating head. (No peace.) Enter Gabby the goose. (I think. He’s at least some member of the anatidae family.) If you are one of the highest types of cool, and watch every Warner Bros. cartoon in chronological order, you’ll be aware of this kid. He’s made a couple of appearances before this, his…swan song. (No laughs.)

Gabby is suitably named. (Though if his dialogue is any indication, it’s not his birth name.) The kid does not shut up. (No shortage of breath.) He talks and gabs and yaks and blabs until you are all for Gouty trying to scare the little turd off. (I have my own Gabby at work. Even if the pest calls me “Daffy” I still want his vocal cords gone. No speaking.) It fails. The only way one is going to get rid of Gabby is if something else catches his attention. Thank goodness for bees. The kid grabs a hammer and tries to end the threat to his status as “Alpha Vex.” (No mercy.) I wonder what comedic escapades this might lead to?

Lunch time! Porky’s hotel may not have the five stars it deserves, but the food doesn’t lie! Mouth watering options like lamb, turkey, and coconut custard are but a sampling of the journey’s your taste buds can expect to endure. Can’t decide? Porky recommends the blue plate. Even Gouty is interested, and requests some for his midday meal. Oh wait. He’s a Toon goat. He’s just going to eat the plate, isn’t he? (No calories.) Oh well, if there’s one guy I trust to make ceramics delectable, it’s Porky. (Gouty loses half of his mouth when he chews Old age can be such a b*tch.)

BANG! Of course! You knew it would happen! Gabby, in his bee is for blood lust, has just brought the hammer down on Gouty’s poor foot. He’s been pleasant for far too long. The kid must die. No objections here. The chase begins, but things start to get out of control, as Gouty, Gabby, and a door I’ll name Gertie, all end up on a collision course with the wall up ahead. Even knocking Porky into the bill of the pelican he is escorting. (The poor bird has been to Katz Hotel? I wonder if they ever got that spider problem fixed.) The crash ends with the two rivals’ heads caught in a painting. Fittingly, Gouty’s head plays the part of executioner, while Gabby plays executionee. (No greater joy.)

Favorite Part: During Gabby’s bee chase, he gets a door slammed on him by an oblivious Porky. If only I could do the same to my “Gabby.” (And if you think I’m being too harsh, the guy is clearly in his mid-thirties. I’m not hating some overly obnoxious child.)

Personal Rating: 3 (I don’t really have a problem with this Gabby, despite what I may type.)

Plane Dippy

“Get a load of this!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Animation by Sid Sutherland and Virgil Ross; Musical Score by Bernard Brown. A Looney Tune released on April 30, 1936.

As my tribute to dads everywhere and my love of over complicating things, I choose this picture as today’s subject, because many people consider pigs as food, I.E., fodder. (And I’ll submit to that mentality when said food flys.)

Well, what’s Porky up to this time? Enlisting in the armed forces? A noble pursuit. What sounds like a good fit for my man? Infantry? Nah, too much walking. Navy? That’s for ducks. How about the air corp? That’s the ticket! Porky heads right on in, eager to join. Too bad this is back in the Dougherty days, so I hope you had nothing planned for the rest of your life. That’s about how long one conversation with the pig will last. (Don’t try and cheat by giving him some writing utensils. His stutter affects handwriting too)

Still, everyone deserves a fair shot at things, and Porky is given a uniform and tests. Beans makes a cameo to help set up a dizziness test. (I’m sure that’s the correct term too.) Porky spins all over the room, and when he is tested on firing a gun, he takes out the whole building before even scratching the plane. Looks like he’s ready to me! (I don’t care if I’m looking at him through a fanboy’s eyes. If I could swap someone else’s eyes with mine, I would. And I’d still think how I do. Eyes aren’t brains.) The guy in charge must want my fist in his gut, as he just gives Porky a feather duster. (Prick.)

Porky’s orders have him assisting a scientist by the name of Professor Blotz. He’s got something in the works that will revolutionize the airplane: a voice controlled robot plane! It’s very easy to operate. Just speak into the microphone, and tell the plane what you want it to do. No training required. (OH! So that’s why Porky was sent here! Now he can fight! It’s no different than my dream of having a self driving car in the Indy 500.) Porky even gets to give it a try. (If Mel was here, the plane wouldn’t be shaking so much. Must we really wait another ten months for his otherworldly skills?)

Porky sets to work cleaning off the plane, but Blotz doesn’t properly secure his command console, and just leaves it on the windowsill. Coincidentally, Kitty has just noticed a dog belonging to that weird looking dog child I made fun of so many years ago. Wait… Kitty made at least five appearances, didn’t she? *sigh* Here we go again

Kitty

Another character who was often used as a love interest. (Although, she sometimes was just a friend) She was voiced by Bernice Hanson.

I don’t look forward to the day when I have to do that with Cookie…

Being the only anthropomorphic dog in the relationship, the bigger one gets to force the smaller one into doing various tricks for his amusement. Even worse, since the voice command module is still on, it picks up the children’s voices and transmits them to the plane. Poor Porky. He picked the wrong time to be cleaning the inside of it. He gets taken along for the ride, doing hundreds if not thousands of dollars in property damages to the rest of the countryside. Demolishing buildings, destroying shipments of hay, and even sending the clouds into a panic. (And even then the children aren’t innocent! The bigger dog actually sics his smaller counterpart on some non-anthropomorphic cat. Kitty is oddly okay with this.)

Things get worse before getting better, as the amusing pup attracts a whole throng of children. All of them act as inconsiderate as children usually are, and all yell out countless tricks for the innocent animal to do. Poor thing! (Never give most children a pet. They’ll abuse it.) At least large dog (who I should’ve just called Rover this whole time) decides the exhausted creature has had enough and tells him that they are going home. Luckily for Porky, the plane follows suit. (And it still looks like mint condition! Blotz, you ARE impressive.) Still, this whole experience has been quite harrowing, so Porky immediately calls it quits and reconsiders joining the infantry. (Being able to admit you can’t do something. Another very adult mindset! I’m prouder still!)

Favorite Part: We get to learn Porky’s full name in this picture! Bet you didn’t know it was “Porky Cornelius Washington Otis Lincoln Abner Eleanor Aloysius Casper Jefferson Filbert Horatius Narcissus Pig” *Sniff* So… beautiful.

Personal Rating: 3

The Pest that came to Dinner

“I thought there was a ch-chair, there.”

Directed by Arthur Davis; Story by George Hill; Animation by John Carey, Basil Davidovich, J.C. Melendez, and Don Williams; Layouts by Don Smith; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on September 11, 1948.

Before we begin, I’d just like to say that I’ve been viewing the new Looney Tunes that have been airing on HBO Max. They’re okay, but are they as good as the classics? Well, they say there are no stupid questions, but that one alone disproves it. Of course not, but they are entertaining. I’ll give them a post of their own; about a decade or so from now. I’ve got a lot of other shorts, movies, and the occasional T.V. series already planned before then.

Relaxation time! My favorite kind of time, and probably Porky’s too. But, there’s a problem: all of his best furniture disappears before his buttocks can make contact. Seems like as bad as we have it in this year, things still sucked back then. Only instead of virus outbreaks, they were stuck with the termite variety. Luckily, Porky only has to deal with one. Unluckily, that one is Pierre. The biggest, hungriest termite on the face of the Earth. And because he is a termite, he is also dressed up like an adorable lumberjack. Because he’s Canadian. Because he’s named Pierre. (And if you want to go full circle: “Pierre” sounds like “pear”, pears are sweet, sweet things are what you want to eat, eating is what a termite does.)

Pierre is also an “artiste” as the Canuck’s say, as not only does he eat the wood, but he makes it into fanciful designs as he does. Of course, Porky TRIES to kill him, but Pierre can eat his way out of any problem. (Shame that all of Porky’s weapons are made of Pierre’s favorite food.) Time to call on the professional: an exterminator by the name of I. M. A. Sureshot. (Oh boy. Another game of initial deciding. Let’s go with Ignatius McAloysius. Sureshot for short.) He’s a dog who wares less clothing than Porky (who rocks a sexy robe in this picture) and has a permanent grin on his face. (He’s either a termite in disguise, or a shark.)

He comes over to help my pig pal. He’s not actually going to do any exterminating, but he does at least provide the tools. Among their attempts: Porky tries to vacuum up Pierre. (The termite eats the handrail Porky is standing on) The two try to flood Pierre out of the wall. (He brings the hose into the room with them, flooding that) and the cartoon classic:  TNT. (Not only does Sureshot not stick around for this one, but he loses his voice for a bit. His mouth moves, but nothing comes out. What is this? Dingo Pictures?)

After the explosion, Porky shows up at Sureshot’s place. He is fed up with the guy’s help, and he and Pierre are teaming up to teach him a lesson. (Before I forget to mention, I like Pierre’s mustache. It’s probably his antennae.) They eat the dog’s desk. But how will they live together in peace? Easy. Porky opens up his own furniture store, filled with Pierre’s artistic talents. (Turning your problem into a solution. That’s quite the grown-up way of handling things. I’m proud of you, Porky.)

Favorite Part: Sureshot gives Porky some poison that is guaranteed to send the target to “Termite Heaven©.” It really works, as when Pierre redirects the spray to Porky, he gives said afterlife a visit. (24/7 wood buffets!)

Personal Rating: 3

Fool Coverage

“What are you doing? Jusht looking for an accident?”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, Herman Cohen, and Rod Scribner; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Carlos Manriquez; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc. Musical Directions: Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on December 13, 1952.

That awful virus! It’s responsible for cancelling comicon this year! I hope its proud of itself. But I suppose you’d rather hear me blog about my chosen subject. Fine.

Daffy plays an employee of the Hot Food Casualty Underwriter’s Insurance Company. He has just knocked on Porky’s door to try and sell him a policy. At first mention, this sounds like some kind of miracle. With Daffy’s company, you stand to acquire a million bucks for even a black eye. Of course, there are some stipulations. Conveniently, Daffy only reads what they are after he has placed some earmuffs on Porky. Doesn’t matter though. Porky is quite the careful individual, and refuses to buy on account of him never suffering any unfortunate accidents.

Daffy isn’t one to be deterred. He aims to prove to Porky that he NEEDS insurance. He’ll just follow Porky around as he does some chores. And if nothing dangerous occurs, Daffy will be right there to make things worse. Although, is his help really needed? Porky starts off by looking for his screwdriver in his oven with a lit match. Since the great Bob loves Porky, he is spared, but Daffy gets explosion-ed when demonstrating a flashlight is a safer method.

Maybe a trap is required after all. It’s rather clever too. Daffy just saws a hole in the floor, covers it up, then rigs the rocking chair so Porky will fall through. Only problem, Porky doesn’t feel like rocking, and only agrees to do so to humor the salesduck. With his heart not really in it, he doesn’t rock enough to fall. (Although, in my eyes, Porky always rocks enough) Daffy shows him some real rocking, and falls for his own trap.

Just as he’s about to booby trap the bathtub, (With lard. Which has horrifying implications. I hope Daffy didn’t find that in Porky’s house. Though, considering what I’ve seen Porky do, it wouldn’t surprise me. Just horrify.) Daffy sees Porky headed to the basement. Perfect! Porky could fall down the stairs! After Daffy does just that, Porky is need of another candle. Daffy fixes up a stick of TNT to look like one. His weakness to landing himself in Porky’s good graces, gets him holding the explosive just as it goes off.

He lands outside, dazed. Good news, though! Porky is ready to buy! Not because he needs it, per se, but all of Daffy’s mishaps are proof enough that the premises are dangerous. One signature later, and Porky gleefully announces that the million dollar policy is a sweet payoff. Of course, Daffy also gleefully tells of all the stipulations: the black eye must be received by elephants, within the house, between 3:55 P.M. and 4:00 P.M., on July 4th, during a hailstorm. (I hate policies like that.)

Porky is disgruntled, but the great Bob comes to his aid once more. (In a painful way, but he works in mysterious methods) One by one, all of the Daffy’s stipulations are met, and Porky ends up with the most beautiful shiner I ever saw! (It’s worth a million bucks.) Daffy tries to weasel out of it, by adding a baby zebra to the list. The great Bob provides.

Favorite Part: I got a chuckle of Porky announcing he left his screwdriver in the oven. I should start storing mine in the same place.

Personal Rating: 3

Porky’s Pastry Pirates

“G-Get out and stay out!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Gerald Chiniquy. A Looney Tune released on January 17, 1942.

No doubt you’ve heard, but there’s an epidemic going around. COVID-19 they call it. Me personally, I don’t think it’s worth raising such a fuss over, but the whole world is going crazy! Use some common sense! Don’t worry about what COULD happen and practice basic hygiene. Seems like I need to use Porky as an example, again.

In this picture, Porky runs a bakery. (The title’s even spelled out in icing. That’s cute.) Naturally, where there is a scent of sugar in the air, there’s going to be flies. Rather, just one fly. You see, Porky knows that flies are pretty  unsanitary creatures. (Much as it pains me to say) He can’t afford to let any in, lest they transmit some pathogen to his mouthwatering goodies. If he has to, he’s got a swatter and he WILL use it. The poor insect can’t do much more then watch sadly from outside the window.

Enter another possible pastry pirate. (The title promised us as least two) It’s a bee that sounds like James Cagney. (Henceforth, he shall be known as Jimmy.) Jimmy the bee is going to show the little fly how to get some sweets. He heads inside. He’s clearly some sort of super bee, as just one tap of his stinger causes the doorknob to fall away from the door. Porky is as of yet, unaware because he is busy adding the cherries on top to his cupcakes. He does take notice once the bee swipes one.

Porky is all set to swat, but falters when he realizes the insect in his shop is not a fly, but a bee! You might think that Porky would still swat this creature, but as I’m sure many can attest, it takes a lot of nerve to swat a bee. Not just because they are rapidly becoming endangered, but more so the knowledge that, should you miss, the animal is going to get angry and probably use that venom injecting stinger on you. I don’t fault Porky at all for hiding. Besides, can he help it if he makes delicacies so delectable that all animals want to taste?

Jimmy seems to have a particular fondness for cheesecake. And seeing as how there are no factories named after such a dessert yet, he’s eating his way through Porky’s. As true gourmet chef’s know, you can’t just make the same things day after week after month, etc. You need to improvise! Experiment. Try something new. Why else would he be selling a Limburger cheesecake? Jimmy is not amused. (Thieves should always have their thefts be perfect. It’s just uncouth, otherwise) He slams some eclair cream in Porky’s face. Porky in turn finally decides to fight back, but Jimmy’s super powers are still quite potent. Stinging the swatter somehow delivers an electric shock. (You don’t f*ck with Jimmy.)

That’s the demonstration. Obviously, the fly isn’t going to be able to do that, but Jimmy has an idea. Giving the harmless insect a striped shirt and a nail, he is able to pass him off as a bee. This should keep him safe from Porky’s murderous rampage. He wishes the fly luck and they part ways. The fly (who I’ve not bothered to name since he appears so little compared to Jimmy) dives into some icing and begins the kind of feasting I can only dream about. (I wish my food was big enough for me to climb on top of.)

Porky is not fooled. (Because he has I, a zoologist, as his best friend.) Despite the fly’s threats, he has to flee the swatter. Porky throws him out. (Learn to bathe!) Later Jimmy comes back for another snack. He briefly wonders about “that jerk fly”, but shrugs it off. (I really like that line. Adds to his character. He wasn’t helping to be nice, his actions were based on pity.) Getting inside, he suddenly notices the shadow of the swatter on him. Before he can act, he gets his “just desserts.” Porky isn’t the one doing the swatting, it’s the fly.

Favorite Part: When Jimmy notices Porky was trying to reach the swatter at one point, Porky sheepishly smiles and hands the angry apoid a cherry. Jimmy swats it away and storms off. He still comes back to eat it, though.

Personal Rating: 3

Porky’s Super Service

“At the sound of the gong, it will be, exactly, ten gallons.”

Supervision by Ub Iwerks*; Animation by Charles Jones and Robert Clampett; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on July 3, 1937.

*Yes. THAT Ub Iwerks. The very same man who animated Mickey Mouse’s first cartoon, all by himself. As it turns out, the studio had planned to outsource some cartoons to Ub’s studio, but he only directed two before a newly promoted to director, Bob Clampett, took over the second half. (Of course, according to Chuck Jones, the two supposed Iwerk’s shorts were directed by Chuck and Bob, themselves.) Either way, this was the second of the two.

As the title suggest, we find Porky at the owner of his own service station. I’d say he is well worthy of the “super” part of the title, as he sells gas for only three cents! (Sure, that comes attached with a tax ranging from state to unemployment to carpet, but a pig’s gotta make a living.) Porky is also quite the friendly type. He’s not afraid to ask where a gas tank is located, or let someone know of a flat tire.

It ain’t all sunshine and pleasantries, though. One customer has a bump in car that he’d like removed. Porky and his trusty hammer can remove the bump, but the cost is having it reappear elsewhere on the car. Standard procedures say to just keep hammering away at it until it is removed. This comes back to bite Porky when the bump decides to appear on the windshield. Actually, no. That’s good news. Not only does smashing it get the bump gone, but now Porky can charge the guy for a new windshield. And when Porky wins, everyone wins.

The meat of the picture begins with the arrival of a very ugly woman. She wants Porky to fix up her car, but this also means he can’t disrupt the child sleeping in the backseat. Kid’s a butt, but really, I too would be rather sore if my mother just abandoned me in a vehicle. (It’s always sad when parents don’t love their children enough to hold them.) Porky tries to do his job, but Junior isn’t making it easy on him. He plays with the various car functions when Porky is in prime “pain locations.” Turning on the ignition to give him a shock, or honking the horn in Porky’s ears. Porky can’t even proof that the little snot is responsible, as he feigns sleeping whenever the pig checks.

Until Porky checks on him from the opposite window that is! Caught, the kid rolls the window up, and gets Porky’s nose caught. Now at the baby’s mercy, Porky has an air hose placed in his pants, which lifts him up into the air, and gives the kid a target to shoot at with a grease gun. After a few shots, the gun appears stopped, and the kid takes a peek up the barrel. Karma decides to give him a dose, and he is as greased as the pig. Porky has no sympathy, but unfortunately, the mother comes back at this time, finding the two of them covered in muck, the kid in tears. It doesn’t look good for my pal.

Yep. The mother not only drives off without paying, (b*tch) but she threatens to tell the authorities. Making matters worse, her kid ties a hose to her car’s tire, and when she drives away, she ends up dismantling Porky’s whole operation. (Actually, this also works in his favor. Now he can have her charged with stealing his business. See you in court, sucker!)

Favorite Part: Apparently, even the awful woman can’t stand her evil offspring. As when she is telling Porky off, and her kid won’t shut his yap, she slaps him. (I’d watch a ten hour loop of that.)

Well, a week from now is another anniversary for here. Number 9. I’ll be continuing the tradition of adding something new to all future posts. Hope anybody is interested.

Riff Raffy Daffy

“What a sthet-up.”

Directed by Arthur Davis; Animation by Don Williams, Emery Hawkins, Basil Davidovich, and J.C. Melendez; Story by William Scott and Lloyd Turner; Layouts by Don Smith; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 7, 1948. (In Cinecolor)

That’s right, Cinecolor! The precursor to the much more celebrated Technicolor. They’re might look similar, but the former can have a bit of problems having certain colors appear in their full glory. (Green and purple, for example) So, why the switch? A Technicolor strike led to some of the cartoons at this time having no choice but to go the other option. It didn’t last too long, and things would return to normal. (As normal as cartoons get, that is.)

Officer Porky is quite the responsible cop. It may be the middle of the night, but he happily patrols whistling as he does. He has to act tough though, as he finds a sleeping Daffy on a bench. The law says that he is not supposed to be sleeping in any of the locations within the park, and he is thrown out onto the streets. Cue the snow! There’s just gotta be a place where Daffy can rest, and his answer comes to him in the nearby Lacy’s department store. He makes himself comfortable in a display window, and it looks like his problems are over.

Cue Porky! This is even more illegal then the park loitering and the two have a shouting match. Half of which is kept muted, (as we are hearing things as they are) The other is comprised of indistinct shouting. Looks like Porky is going to have to remove the duck himself. Seeing as he is a policeman, he gets in, no problem, thanks to his skeleton key. Daffy invites him to sit down, offers him a smoke, and even a drink. (Which he uses as an excuse to spray soda all over his face.)

Seeing as they are in a department store, and those tend to sell sporting goods, Porky grabs a bow and arrow. Daffy glues his hand to it, so when Porky fires, he sends himself into a grandfather clock. (The cuckoo inside sends him back out) Daffy isn’t above letting his greed out either, (why do his eyes get rings? It’s scary! Save me, Porky!) as he is willing to sell Porky a gun that would be perfect for shooting ducks. (“The thingsth, sthome ducksth will do for money.”) He manages to avoid the bullets, but it looks like Porky found the cannon the cashiers stored behind the counter, (only available by personal request, and you’d better have the I.D. to back it up.) and it looks like Daffy can’t escape anymore.

He admits defeat, but points out that the only reason he did any of this, was to provide for Aphonse and Rodrigo, his…children? AWWWWW! Daffy is the father of the cutest wind-up ducklings! Porky, too, instantly regrets his actions. He allows Daffy and the kids to stay as long as they want, and Daffy finally gets the relaxation he wanted. You might think he’s being too soft on the duck, but Porky knows too well how hard it is being a father. He has three wind-up piglets of his own. (That’s my pal! He’s a champion advocate for single fathers everywhere!)

Favorite part: The ending for sure. But since I already mentioned it, I’ll pretend it’s the part where Porky finds a sobbing gopher sitting amongst his furniture. He immediately knows who evicted the rodent.

Rover’s Rival

“You old antique!”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Charles Jones; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on October 9, 1937.

This short is very important to the history of Warner Bros, and yet, unless you’re a full fledged “Looney-tic” (like me.) you wouldn’t know that. I’ll get to why, but the summary comes first.

Porky is excited over his latest read. A book full of great tricks one can teach to their dog. Not only are they sure to build some great social bonding exercises with your hound of choice, but it surely is fun. Porky rushes to share some great times with his dog, Rover. Unfortunately, Rover is quite old and shaky. He’s at that age where one should really just let him sleep all day, or put him down. Still, Rover is as loyal as you’d expect a dog to be, and despite his lack of hearing, bad back, and possible rheumatism, he does his best to share in Porky’s joy.

Enter our titular rival. He’s chubby, he’s a puppy, his catchphrase is “Yeah, man!” so we’ll call him “Chuppy.” He’s also quite the prick. Witness event A, where Rover tries his darnedest to roll over, but Chuppy blows him back once he’s halfway. He’s also here to steal any glory he can, as he jumps through the hoop Porky is holding. He pulls it away before Rover can attempt the jump, and the old dog leaps into a washtub. (Tragic AND hilarious.)

Chuppy flat out tells Rover that he’s finished. He’s through. (Yes, both dogs can talk.) Mel even shows off his vocal prowess again, by having the little stinker imitate Rover and Porky. Porky still loves his dog, and wants to prove to everyone that he’s no has been. Why, surely he can fetch a stick. A classic! So sure of him self, Chuppy gives the old dog quite the head start before he runs off to get it himself. (Maybe he’s such a douche because his stub-tail keeps disappearing?) Porky tells the young dog to let Rover give it a try, and he half succeeds. His dentures get left behind with the stick. Chuppy retrieves both.

Porky throws again, and this time restrains the pup from stealing Rover’s thunder. Seems he threw the wrong way, as it lands next to a box of dynamite. Rover still brings it back, and Porky panics. He throws it away, and Chuppy runs after it. Rover, however, rushes to a dictionary to see what exactly this “dynamite” is. (He may be old, but the brains are there.) Chuppy, meanwhile, found the rest of the explosive stockade and brings it all back to Porky. Poor guy tries to throw it away, but the dog sends it right back. And I can’t say he just doesn’t know any better, because the little b*stard lights it all. (He’s a literal, figurative S.O.B.)

Rover finally learns the meaning of the word, and rushes to save the day. (Meanwhile, the little dog is actually laughing as Porky says his prayers. So unfair! Why’s he gotta be so adorable! Keeps me from kicking him.) Rover to the rescue! He gets the dynamite, says a silent farewell to his best friend, and gets it away from the two. Porky and Chuppy rush to his side, but it looks like they are too late. Chuppy sobs and admits that this is all his fault, and that not only CAN you teach old dogs new tricks, but he concedes that Rover is the best stick retriever there is. That’s all Rover wanted to hear, and he reveals that he’s fine. Maybe they can all be a family now.

Oh, and as for that important tidbit? This is the first time Porky did his take on “That’s all folks!” Cementing his place in Pop culture for all eternity. *salutes*

Favorite part: There was plenty of great Clampett action and comedy here, but my favorite part was when it looks like Rover died. They drew him to look like he’s been torn into pieces! There’s no blood, but it looks like there should be! Clearly neither dog has been fixed, because this picture has BALLS!

Brother Brat

“The situation is supernatural!”

Direction by Frank Tashlin; Story by Melvin Millar; Animation by Art Davis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on July 15, 1944.

By this point in history, the U.S. has been part of World War II for a while now. All the men are off fighting, so it’s up to the women to make the weapons we need. Being just as capable (if not more so) then males, the women of the country have a solution for nearly every problem. The big one at the moment that still needs some answering: who will watch my child while I work?

Such a conundrum is a problem of some large woman. She answers it pretty quickly: the one guy who children adore and as such, didn’t go to the war: Porky! (Of course, she kinda guilts him into it. Saying this is the only way the planes are going to keep being produced.) Still, being the swell guy he is, Porky isn’t all that upset and prepares to be the best sitter he can be. Should be a cinch since she lent him a child psychology book. First step is easy: ask the kid his name. (Why not? Babies are people too.)

I take it back. This probably isn’t going to go too well, since the first time we see the kid he is playing solitaire. Well, he’s got to have a name at any rate. Fittingly, it’s Butch. (He also mocks Porky’s manner of speech. Keep it up, ugly, and I’ll murder you in your sleep. Don’t tempt me, how do you think George Carlin died?) Butch also hands Porky an anvil, and the pig ends up in the basement. So far so bad, what’s the book’s next suggestion?

Give the kid a cat? Oddly specific, but unless you’re me, it might be able to melt his heart’s rough exterior. (And immature it may be, I can’t help snickering when Porky tells the kid to play with a pussy.) I guess Porky already had a pet? I hope he didn’t go buy one just for this kid. (He’s so generous! It gets me right here.) Hey, maybe Butch isn’t so bad a kid after all, he’s playing jump rope with the cat! (Ah, the fun I had when I did that as a child. It’s probably why I had to see a psychiatrist.)

Butch also reads Esquire Jr. (Plenty of (literal) babes in there) He also does not want to be told that he is too young for this. When Porky makes this mistake, the kid bites a finger and holds on tight. The book is being no help, so Porky has to shake the little terror off. Seems that was the tipping point, as he declares war and chases my amigo with a cleaver. (You know how parents tend to defend their kid’s actions? I wonder how she’d talk her way out of this one) We won’t get any answers to that, but she at least does come to the rescue and ask why he didn’t use the book. Obviously, he did, but she shows that he was using it wrong. She meant it to be used for spanking. (No pity for Butch. He’s earned this)

Favorite part: Butch wolf whistling at his magazine. (Because a baby being horny is funny.)

Porky’s Hired Hand

“Yuh can depend on me!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Richard Bickenbach; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 30, 1940.

Porky’s farm has seen better days. Lately, a fox has been stealing a good number of hens, and Porky has had enough of the robbery. Good thing that the Cornstalk Employment Agency has sent him some assistance. Gregory Grunt. He looks like Goofy got hit by a severe case of swine flu. And if I’m allowed to judge by appearances, (which I totally am) he doesn’t really look like the best man for any job. I’m guessing the agency was just sick of him and wanted to make the guy somebody else’s problem. Porky’s a better man than I’ll ever be, and gives the lunkhead a chance.

Despite the very clear instructions of “do not fall asleep”, Gregory does just that. Enter the fox. He’s got some clothing, so it’s not like he’s just a wild animal trying to find an easier solution, he’s just some random a-hole who would rather steal than work. (And he dies if he crosses my path. Nobody messes with my pal) With the guard asleep, the fox helps himself to the choicest morsels. He’s even willing to take babies! (Dipsh*t! If you don’t leave anything to repopulate your theft, you won’t be able to return next year. And then where will you be?) He’s all ready to leave, but someone bars his path: Gregory?

Well, it appears I have to eat my words! (Good thing I write so tastefully) Looks like Greg was just pretending to sleep in case the fox was stupid enough to come back. (Thieves should really never hit the same joint twice.) Of course, the other possibility is that the fox just woke him up. (So that means I can upchuck my eaten words) Told to put the birds back, the fox laments that the two of them can’t be partners. I mean, clearly Gregory is a master businessman who could help make a chicken monopoly. Yeah, Gregory is all for it, but what about Porky?

And there’s a random fade out to what seems like half a second later, but the fox knows Gregory’s name by now, so I have no clue what we missed. Either way, he convinces Greg that Porky would WANT him to succeed and stealing from him is a good start. (That’s what I did while working at my local zoo. Strangely, no one wanted to come see penguins in my backyard, and now I’m out of goldfish) Give the fox some credit, he’s even willing to let Gregory’s name go first in their company’s name. (That explains why I haven’t given the fox a name. According to himself, his name IS Fox. I guess his last name is Mc Loud. I mean, he DID wake Mr. Grunt)

Telling his new partner to grab some feed, Fox makes an exit. It was a scam all along! (You know, going into business might still be a good idea. Just some chicken for thought) In his rush to escape, Fox didn’t look where he was going. It wasn’t the exit he left through, but the incubator! He fears for his life as he is no doubt going to roast! (The birds he has don’t seem to mind. They’re not even moving…oops. That’s going to set Porky back a bit) Being a nice enough, dumb guy, Gregory tries to help his partner get out. Unfortunately, his head isn’t hard enough to break the door down.

Still, his banging does alert Porky to all this, and he brings his gun down to investigate. Maybe Gregory IS a little smart, because he refrains from explaining his “business partner” is trapped, and refers to him as a fox once more. Giving him the gun, Porky instructs him to shoot as soon as the door is open. He does, but they didn’t get the fox. Seems he was aiming a bit too high. Being in the incubator so long, Fox has shrunk. (His tail didn’t though. And I’m sure it would fetch a decent price. Heh heh heh!)

Favorite part: Fox is describing the things that Gregory will obtain from this partnership. Including a secretary to sit on his lap.