Duck Soup to Nuts

“C-c-c’mon out or i’ll b-b-blow your head off!”

Daffy is minding his own business when a hunting Porky comes to shoot him. (Porky seems to have some kind of bad suntan.) Daffy tries to discourage him by showing off his talents but Porky won’t buy it. After a chase that includes Daffy in the gun and Porky getting bumps on his head, Daffy hides underwater where Porky can’t get him.

After failing to get him with a diving helmet, Porky drains the lake. (He’s determined.) He finds Daffy flopping around but refuses to believe he’s a fish. Daffy retaliates by refusing to believe the hunter is a pig. He’s an eagle. They argue, and Daffy pulls the ole switcheroo, (That gag will never get old) and Porky jumps off a tree to prove his eagle prowess.

Out of bullets in his rifle, Porky pulls out a pistol and prepares to kill Daffy. Daffy begs to say goodbye to his family. Porky feels he can’t shoot a married duck with children and leaves. As soon as he’s gone the other ducks reveal themselves to be friends of Daffy’s. They all laugh…until Porky comes back for revenge.

Personal Rating: 3

The Great Piggy Bank Robbery

“Fantastic! And furthermore, its unbelieva…ble!”

Daffy waits for his mail to the tune of “Powerhouse.” (and he even says “Thufferin Thuccotash” one of two times I can recall) his patience is rewarded with a new Dick Tracy comic book. He eagerly pours over each exciting panel and wishes he could be the man he admires. He accidentally knocks himself out and imagines that scenario.

Duck Twacy (Daffy) is getting numerous phone calls about missing piggy banks. He dismisses it as small stuff until he realizes his was stolen too. He immediately gets to the gangsters hideout (Porky cameo, yay!) and is met by the worst of the worst including: Mouseman, Pumpkinhead, Pussycat Puss, Batman, 88 Teeth, Neon Noodle, Double Header, and Wolfman. the chase is on! (Hey look! There’s an original Tracy villain: Flattop!)

Daffy makes pies out of Pumpkinhead and is tackled by most of the others. His body parts squirm out and he murders them with a Tommy-gun. Neon Noodle tries to get him, but hes turned into an “Eat at Joe’s sign”. Daffy finds the stolen goods and kisses the bank that’s his. He then wakes up to find himself kissing a sow.

Personal Rating: 5

Old Glory

“You don’t know why you should learn the pledge of allegiance to the flag?”

For Porky’s first color cartoon, (Yes his debut was in color. But he wasn’t the star) we find him struggling to learn the pledge to the flag. He can’t get the hang of it and he gives up. He takes a nap and Uncle Sam appears and begins to teach his subconsciousness about the history of America. From Paul Revere warning of the British, to the pioneers heading out west to find more land. (That already belonged to someone, but that part doesn’t paint the country in the best lights. Let’s omit it.)

After the history lesson Porky awakens and is able to recite the pledge form memory. (Owl eared listeners will notice he doesn’t say “under God” that part was not added yet.) This cartoon may not be as funny as its numerous siblings, but it’s enjoyable none the less. It reminds us how hard it was to be young and to understand. It also helps us remember to help others.

Personal Rating: 4 (If you can’t stand to see cartoons be serious, than it might not be for you. I stand by my rating, though)

Baby Bottleneck

“I do all the woik, and the fadders get all the credit.”

You didn’t think that I wouldn’t talk about Porky more after the last post did you? Also, I’d say sorry for no update on Tuesday, but next to no one comes here anyway so I’d only be apologizing to myself… On to the cartoon.

After World War 2,  people keep pumping out babies and it’s taking its toll on the stork. He quits and some inexperienced people try to make the deliveries themselves, but they make plenty of mistakes. Such as kittens to mice, gorillas to kangaroos and an alligator to a pig. (There is actually a censor that has never been restored. When the reptile tries to nurse at her teat, the sow originally said “Don’t touch that dial” If you don’t blink, you can see a brief frame of the line about to be said)

Replacing those idiots are Porky and Daffy. Daffy mans the phones and makes wisecracks to Cantor, about his lack of getting a boy and Mr. Dione for asking for a little too much. Porky is in charge of the assembly line which gets the babies ready for delivery. The only problem is one egg has no address. Porky asks Daffy to sit on it (Look how huge his hat got!) but Daffy refuses. A chase ensues which ultimately ends with the two running on the assembly line, getting dressed up like a baby, and shipped to Africa. Mother gorilla is in for quite the shock .

Personal Rating: 4

Kitty Kornered

“I hate p-p-p-p-p-pussy cats.”

About time I talked about the great and hilarious Porky again! Its nine o clock and everyone is putting their cat out. Porky has 4. A kitten, a midget cat, a drunk cat, and Sylvester. (Don’t let the yellow eyes and black nose fool you. It’s him. You can trust me) However, they have no intent on being outside and they toss Porky out in their stead.

They decide to party with cigars, wine, and chocolates when Porky re enters. He chases them, and at one point pulls Sylvester off a moose head and pulling out a full moose. Porky gets rid of them by using a shadow puppet of his dog and they flee. Sylvester comes up with a plan, and they don martian get ups to scare Porky out into the snow. The pig asks the audience if they know of any houses to rent.

Personal Rating: 4

The Bugs Bunny Show

“On with the show, this is it!”

During the sixties, “Looney Tunes” was on its last legs. Also during this time, Looney Tunes got its TV show. (Why not? It was the latest fad!) The premise was simple: Bugs showing us cartoons with various bridging sequences in between, such as Bugs feeding Taz carrots or Slowpoke coming to visit Speedy. The show was black and white which may have been odd today since all the shorts in the theaters were color, but color TV was only starting to get started. Lack of pigment  was a small price to pay for the convenience of watching animated masterpieces in your own living room.

Now for the bad news. This show is gone and you’re not liable to find any full episodes. (At least, as I’m originally writing this.) If you ever have seen, or have any somehow, you are quite lucky. Maybe you’d like to make the rest of the world feel as lucky as you?

Personal Rating: (From what little I’ve seen) 3

Bugs Bunny’s Looney Tunes all star 50th Anniversary

Now obviously, this was made a while ago. If it’s celebrating Looney Tunes as a whole then it should have made its debut in 1980. If it’s Bugs we’re honoring, then it should be 1990. This came out in 1986. (I suppose that’s close enough to both dates) Enough of that. Let’s begin!

This shows plenty of stars remembering the Tunes and the joy that they have brought to every person who has enjoyed life at some point. Chuck Jones tells us how everyone is like Daffy but they all want to be Bugs. (This is the greatest analogy for the human race, ever. Don’t even try to debate.) Freleng tells us how Yosemite Sam came about and Kirk Douglas tells how great Bugs and Daffy’s westerns were. Freleng also tells us about Porky’s history and why he has his ‘stutter’ (It’s actually a grunt.) Mike Nicholas asks if we remember Petunia and explains why she faded into obscurity. My favorite part is when Jeff Goldblum defends Porky. I’m sure I’ve stated this before, but Porky is my favorite. He’s hilarious, charismatic, relatable, cute and stars in most of my favorites, and don’t forget: he’s the one we always expect to see at the end.

David Bowie gives reasons why he will not work with Bugs and the great Mel Blanc explains how he created a voice for bugs to use. Steve Martin makes note that all comedy has been influenced by Bugs and Chuck Yeager points out Bugs doesn’t get hurt. Quincy Jones explains that Bugs can get girls but he doesn’t want to, and Billy Dee Williams shows some of Carl Stallings talent with sound effects. Fascinating stuff.

Personal Rating: 2 (It’s really only for those passionate Looney Tune fans)

Space Jam

“You guys are nuts.”

“Correction, we’re Looney Tunes”

I love this movie, but then again, I am a Looney Tunes fanboy. It’s sad most of the world seems to hate it. I think that is bull crap. This is a masterpiece if ever there was one. At least it did great at the box office.

The history is that people made commercials with Bugs and Michael Jordan advertising basketball shoes. So they figured making a movie was a good idea. (I think it was.) Our plot is that a theme park in outer space, (it is not specified which planet, but I think the whole park is its own planet) sucks. (How can people say that? Didn’t you ever want to ride an Astro-orbiter wannabe that shoots at you? Oh yeah, me neither) The owner decides they need new attractions and figures that the Looney Tunes are just the thing. I’d come.

However, Bugs tricks them into thinking they need to give the toons a chance to defend themselves. Since the aliens are short and have tiny limbs, basketball seems like a shoe in. However the aliens have the ability to steal the ability from five NBA players. Luckily, Jordan was retired at this time. So they don’t nab him. The toons get him for their side and we get the greatest game in all history!

This also introduced us to Lola. She did not have much of a personality in this movie, save for being someone for Bugs to be attracted to. Seems she was popular though, as she appeared in “Baby Looney Tunes”, “Tweety’s High Flying Adventure”, and “The Looney Tunes Show.”

Bottom line if you hate this you have no taste and at the very least you have to watch it once. (There must be more who love this, I know it!) “Tune” in next time where I will name all the Looney Tunes who appear in the film as well as some interesting facts. Woo hoo hoo hoo! Woo hoo!

Personal Rating: 3. (Unless you’re one of those people who can’t stand anything Looney that came out after the Golden age. For you, it’s a 2.)

Daffy Duck Hunt

“B-B-Benedict Arnold!”

Porky and his dog, the Barnyard Dawg are out hunting. Cue duck. Daffy empties all the shells and taunts Porky and his dog with some french dancing. Porky tells the dog to get him and the dog decides that a trick will help him win. He begins to cry and Daffy asks what’s wrong. The dog explains (lies) that if he does not catch a duck, Porky will torture him. In a rare moment of selflessness, Daffy says they will pretend he was caught. After the dog brings Daffy back to his master, Porky decides that one duck is enough for dinner. They go home and put Daffy in a freezer.

Porky goes to sleep whilst the dog hears thumps in the freezer. His two consciousnesses appear and try to make him choose to let Daffy freeze or at least warm up for helping him. Choosing the right choice, he puts Daffy in the oven to get some heat. Daffy tries to leave but is explained that he is not going to leave. Daffy makes a lot of racket and Porky storms in to see what is going on. Daffy jumps in the dog’s mouth and the poor mutt gets beaten.

More of this zaniness follows. Finally, Porky says that if the duck is not in the freezer then the dog dies. Opening it up he allows Daffy to jump out, dressed like Santa and has them sing “Jingle Bells.” Porky then notices the calendar says April, and gets an axe to finish Daffy. However, he is stopped by the patch on Daffy that says, “Do not open until Christmas”. Daffy figures that by then, he will have figured a way out of the mess he got himself into.

Personal Rating: 3 (but it teeters dangerously towards the “4” category)

Any bonds today?

Now what we have here is a short that is entirely music. We see a figure approaching and it is our patriotic cartoon character, Bugs Bunny. He starts to sing and tell us we must buy war bonds if we are going to win World War 2. Soon Porky and Elmer (in his fat phase) join him. So as you are probably guessing it is not really worth your time to watch it, right? Wrong! It is a great song! One that I find myself singing whenever I take a walk. If you do not watch this, then you are definitely missing out. (Just be mindful of the blackface. That is humorless.)

Personal Rating: 3