Category: First Appearances

Cartoons that were the debut of recurring characters. I.E., those that appeared at least twice.

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Little Lion Hunter

“Shh.”

Supervision by Charles Jones; Story by Robert Givens; Animation by Philip Monroe; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 7, 1939.

It’s Inki’s first day on the job, so we can expect a few flubs. Example: despite what the title clearly states, he’s throwing his spear at any and all animals. (Although, in seriousness, if a giraffe chooses to bend down to eat, it’s asking for death.) Being early in his short career, Inki also looks a bit different than we’d later know him. He’s got large lashes, and a shiny black nose. Making it understandable that I used to think he was female, and you thought he was a deer.

The kid finds some tracks that surely lead to some big, dangerous game, so Inki takes cover behind a tree. And the ‘dangerous’ part comes true when we see what comes from the direction of those tracks: the world’s REAL most deadliest game, the Minah Bird. (You can identify him by his flashing wings.) He clearly didn’t make those tracks, he just killed whatever did for intruding on his territory. (If it was lucky, it wasn’t made to suffer. No promises with this bird, though.)

Inki makes another rookie mistake, he decides to tackle this creature. He follows it, waiting for the perfect moment to use his spear. It either never comes, or he squanders it, as the bird hops into a hole. Now, you should never, never, never ever, never, never, ever put your hand into any hole this bird hopes into, if you value said hand and think there will even be a remote chance that you will use it again. Inki is lucky today, just pulling out a sleeping skunk. Perhaps the bird is giving him one break for being so new at this.

Inki decides to hunt tortoises, as there is less danger involved. But after following the reptile into a log, he finds himself back in the company of the destroyer bird. Having not gotten the hint that he should really flee while he still has eight toes, he throws his spear. Bridging a gap that the bird had no problem jumping into, because even gravity knows better than to try and kill him. Hence the bird’s ability to hop vertically up a tree. Inki climbs up after him, and ends up with the bird on his head. Said bird tries to bite his nose off for daring to let his scalp touch the bird’s talons. (Well, would you like to tell me what the bird is doing?)

While trying to squish it or something, Inki only manages to knock himself back to the ground. He’s managed to escape painful death twice now, so he should really leave the mynah bird hunting to the professionals. (Current members in that profession: -1,000,000,000.) But hark, sounds! (In a jungle? No way.) Sounds like some kind of game is coming close. Inki just needs to listen to find out what he’s up against. It’s the very thing the title said he should have been hunting all along: a lion.

The lion is much closer than Inki’s hearing suggests, and the beast has to physically tap the boy to make his presence known. Inki immediately knows he is over his head now, and bolts without even looking at the cat directly. (Good. He’s learning.) He also knows the basic rule of lion survival: hiding in a hollow tree stump works! They are not one to question why a stump has an eye, or what those horrible screechy, scratchy noises are. (I guess there the sounds of Inki trying to creep away?) But he forgot that this trick only works if you stand still. Even lions know that stumps don’t stroll.

With the lion totally aware, Inki has no choice but to accept his fate. But just then, things are made either worse or better by the appearance of who else was in the stump, good old, terrifying old, the Minah bird. The lion isn’t aware that he should flee while the fleeing’s good; animals can’t learn from mistakes that will kill them. It pounces, and a terrific tussle takes place off-screen. When the bird is done proving who the king of the jungle is, the lion is roughed up, tussed up, and ready for slaughter, but the bird feels he has made his point.

Instead, he lets Inki know that he saved the kid from the lion’s digestive system, and kicks him for bothering him in the first place. It’s here where you learn the twist that I just made up: Inki had found a genie, and wished to survive an encounter with this bird, three times. He probably thought that would mean he’d kill it each time, but you know what pricks genies are.

Favorite Part: When Inki is hiding from the lion behind a tree, the lion taps him on the shoulder. Inki figures out who’s poking him by squeezing the lion’s retractable claw out. Nice subtle teaching!

Personal Rating: 3

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Little Brother Rat

“I once had an egg.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Bob McKimson; Musical Direction by Charles W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on September 2, 1939.

Sniffles creeps up on a sleeping cat and yanks out a whisker. He must have a death wish! No, it’s just part of a scavenger hunt he’s taking part in. Bringing it back puts in the lead, beating out Jimmy and flat out annihilating Squeakie. (Even though the list asks for whiskers plural. Oops.) There’s just one last item on the list, but it’s certainly the most difficult: an owl’s egg.

Sniffles accepts the challenge and heads back out again. The cat has come outside too by this point, and begins to follow the little prick who caused him a moment of discomfort. (And upset his sense of balance, let’s be real.) Sniffles manages to avoid getting caught by entering a barn, but the cat has no problem waiting for his return. There isn’t any other holes down here, so it’s a good bet the mouse will return.

Up in the barn, sleeps Papa Owl. (Asleep at night because he’s hungover. I don’t know.) Sniffles easily gets his paws on the unhatched Junior, and is almost immediately caught leaving. The father convinces him to put his child back passively and aggressively. Sniffles is then thrown out from this high, because he’s just too big for the owl to swallow whole. (Nice camera movement.) He bounces off the still waiting cat and is flung right back up again. So, guess he’s just stuck in such a perilous position for the rest of his life, eh?

As if! Winning this scavenger hunt is everything to him! The prize must be that good. (Or he just refuses to be bested by Jimmy. Friggin’ Jimmy.) He tries again, and father doesn’t catch him this time. Instead, Sniffles trips. That’s the end of this egg. Or not. Seems it was just about to hatch as the owlet is alive and unharmed and a chibi version of his father. Sniffles tries to coax him back inside, because it will prove this really is an owl egg, rather than a robin egg. The young bird gets in, but his feet stick out and he walks back to his nest.

Sniffles gets a hold of him once more. And then just puts him back anyway. (I guess he only has qualms about stealing other’s children after they’re born.) Once back outside, he finds the little owl has followed him. Even worse, the cat takes notice of the two and chases. Sniffles carries the young bird, and this kind gesture is witnessed by Mr. Owl. He swoops down, grabs the cat, and throws it down a chimney. (He’ll be back to eat it later.) Because of his bravery, Sniffles is given the egg he needed. Yeah! Eat it, Jimmy!

Favorite Part: The way the owl’s eyes gleam and dilate when Sniffles is spotted. Telling him in no uncertain way that the jig is up.

Personal Rating: 3 for those who can accept a Merrie Melody without much comedy. If you can’t, it’s a 2.

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Porky’s Ant

“What I wouldn’t give to catch one of those old pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh- those midget ants.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Rudolph Larriva; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on May 10, 1941.

What is something you’d like to do? Pretend money is no object. Pretend you’re as fit as need be. Pretend you have not fears or worries about failing. What would you do? Me personally, I’d be traveling the world just to see different animals. Porky is in the midst of that, and I’m envious. He’s just waltzing around Africa with a silent guide reading a book about rare insects. (My dream…)

One such insect is known as the Pigmy Ant (Pgymy formicidae). A creature not named for its size, but because it has a habit of dressing like humans. They’re also worth $150,000.00. Sadly, Porky is more interested in the price than the creature. Luckily for him, one of these ants is following him and his guide. (I wish it was Inki. That’d be a fun cameo.) Pigmy ant hierarchies are determined by the size of the bone in their topknots. The bigger the bone, the more likely you are to score mates. As such, the little gal feels the guide’s bone is better because it’s bigger.

Small, though she may be, the guide can feel her tugging on his clothing. When he turns to look. He crashes into Porky, flinging supplies every which way. When Porky sees the ant, he confirms with the book on her species. Yep. She’s the one! She’s fast, too! She bolts for the safety of her hill before Porky can nab her. Time to do a little luring. Good thing Porky brought some chocolates with him. He sets a bonbon behind some flypaper, unaware that the ant could just walk around it. He throws it away, and it lands on his guide’s face.

The ant ducks under some growth and Porky reaches after, unaware of the slumbering lion within. He throws a lasso that the ant sticks around the cat’s paws and pulls it out. (Porky lifts.) He puts it back. Now he knows that ant’s game, but still doesn’t dare get near her when she returns to its protection. She taunts him, but doesn’t realize the lion gets up and leaves until Porky has crawled out of the bush and is nearing.

Back at the guide, he finds another lion. It chases him back to Porky and the two can do nothing more than hide. Good thing the ant doesn’t hate them. She uses the flypaper to trip the lion up, saving the two from his intestinal tract. Porky is grateful and offers her anything she wants that he can give. She gets her bone, and since she’s following them still, I think she’s decided to let Porky adopt her. (…My… dream…)

Favorite Part: The face Porky makes when he first sees the paw he’s reeled in. He was all prepared to be happy, but fate didn’t get her lines right.

Personal Rating: 2

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Tree for Two

“I gotta job to do!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, and Manuel Perez; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 4, 1952.

Best be on the look out ladies and gents, the newspapers say that a panther is on the loose. I’m not a newspaper and I say that a leopard is on the loose. Panther is a term that people who can’t be bothered to read up on big cats use. Regardless of what you call it, this is a potentially dangerous animal that is roaming the streets and you’d be smart to use caution out of doors. The poor thing is lost, confused and scared and when animals feel that: they maul.

Enter Spike and Chester. (The latter making his debut here.) Chester is the hero-worshipper type and his hero is Spike. He suggests many typical dog activities and each suggestion gets him a negative answer and smack across the face. Chester saves his best suggestion for last: beating up on a cat. (I love how he still braces himself for another smack. Don’t let yourself be a hero-worshipper. Even the decent people will get sick of you.) Finally, something that piques Spike’s interest. Chester leads him to where a cat is located.

Their cat of choice is Sylvester. He was just minding his own business, singing and enjoying life. (He’s good at it too! If “Back Alley Oproar” didn’t convince you of his singing prowess, watch it again. It’s a wonderful short.) And that gets him hounded by hounds. He takes refuge in an alley with the two right outside. Spike keeps Chester out while he partakes in all the fun. Once inside he pulls on his prey’s tail. Only not really. That is a leopard tail, and Sylvester is hiding in a trash can. (Confused, but not stupid enough to point out there’s a mix-up.) That tail isn’t coming undone, so Spike follows it. He leaves quite shaken up. (On the bright side, it doesn’t look like he was harmed too physically.)

Chester takes a peek to see this “big” cat, but only sees Sylvester checking if the coast is clear. Chester offers to take care of the cat, but Spike’s pride ain’t having it. He goes back in to really give it to ‘im. The same thing happens, but Spike definitely took a beating this time. Chester still can’t accept this. (It constantly causes his whiskers to disappear in shock.) Chester shows that even a little dog like himself can pound the puss and fling him back to whence he came, so surely a bigger, stronger, (prick-ier) dog can do it. Spike’s resolve is restored.

Spike enters the alley again, and without a hiding place, Sylvester can’t do much more but claw blindly at the air. Amused, Spike lets him give his best shot. With both of them having their eyes obscured, neither one sees the leopard clawing the mutt to bits for daring to pick on his distant relative. Spike is horrified, and flees. Sylvester can’t believe what he’s seeing, but he seems to be seeing it. There must be more power in his paw than he ever imagined. Now feeling strong as a leopard, he comes after the two dogs himself. They’re going to get the claw and leave him alone from now on!

Chester isn’t convinced and once more beats and flings. (Stan Freberg, you are knocking it out of the park with this performance. Really wish you got to star alongside Mel more often.) So in the end, Chester is considered the tough one and he gets to bully and smack the hero-worshipping Spike, the leopard was eventually found and returned to the zoo which was given a good amount of funds to renovate the place and make it so the animals were happy in captivity, and though Sylvester got beaten up, he was known in all the cat circles as the one who turned the feared Spike into a groveling kiss-ass.

Favorite Part: The smile on Chester’s face when Spike tells him he can go get himself killed. It’s the same look we’ve all had when someone allowed us to do something dangerous, and we were about to prove them wrong. (Though not every one of us came out like Chester…)

Personal Rating: 3. But even if it’s successor got the same score, this one is better. I find the ending makes a lot more sense with everyone still unclear about what really went down. Makes Chester’s promotion make more sense.

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I wanna play House

“♪ I gotta sing, ’cause I’m gay…♪”

Supervision by Isadore Freleng; Animation by Cal Dalton and Sandy Walker; Music by Bernard Brown. A Merrie Melody released on January 11, 1936.

If you were a time traveler, and you used that power to just go back and watch every Looney Tune and Merrie Melody in theaters in chronological order, you’d find this cartoon to be the debut of those famous rings that you associate with these shorts. (It’s always been the perfect way to frame the many characters who came after the rings left the screen.)

Out in the woods, two black bear cubs play. (Yes, black bears can have brown fur, you racist.) I think they’re siblings, and I’m claiming they’re both female. But to be on the safe side, I’ll give them the gender fluid names “coal” and “mud”. They’re wrestling and exploring the world, skills that will serve them well should they manage to survive to adulthood. Sadly, often times learning something requires a bit of pain, and Coal learns that even without teeth, a turtle bite hurts.

This amuses Mud, no end, and Coal ain’t having it. She flings a rock at her sister’s face. Look how fast it moves! She’s already displaying great strength! But Mud has awesome reflexes and doesn’t get the stone. Their father does. (Again, assumptions. They’re sometimes right!) He wants to know who did it, and both of his girls naturally blame the other. Personally, I’d always blame the first to deny, (Coal) but father bruin decides to rely on the spit test. You spit into your paw, smack it with the other paw, and whoever the exportation lands closest to gets the punishment. Spit says: Mud.

She gets some spanks (making cries that sound to me like ones you’d hear in a Dingo Pictures “film”) as Coal walks away. Happily, Mud doesn’t seem to hold any animosity and is eager to join a game of hide and seek. She’ll count and Coal will hide. With the game underway, Coal finds a caravan and takes a look inside. Whoever owns the place never learned the most important rule of camping: PUT YOUR FREAKING FOOD AWAY LEST YOU ATTRACT A LAND BEAR! They’re getting no pity from me. I hope Coal’s insatiable lust for the human vittles doesn’t hurt her chances of having cubs of her own one day.

Coal knows all about sandwiches, and makes herself a snack. And since there’s a jug of cider, a drink as well. It’s the hard stuff, and she’s drunk not too long after. The short has been frequently cutting back to Mud’s counting and she finally calls it quits after hitting 1,000,002; leading me to believe this has been going on for weeks. (And I guess Coal was supposed to call out when she was hidden?) Mud isn’t happy to find her sister lushly singing and cavorting in a human dwelling. She hits Coal with a tomato.

Tomato’s are nature’s sobering fruits, and Coal is cured and angry. The two wrestle, and accidentally unstick the brake. Since parking on level ground is for those who aren’t snorting jugs of hard cider, the vehicle careens down the hill; it’s two stowaways doing all in their power to steer. They eventually get the idea to use the brake once more, slowing the vehicle down, sure, but also losing the wheels to extreme friction. They crash, and seem relatively fine, but the cider jug hits Mud on the head, putting her into her own kind of daze. This is exactly the situation you don’t want your-

Father comes to his cub and sees her stumbling by a jug. That’s enough evidence for him, and Mud gets more spanks. (And you thought I gave her that name because of her fur, didn’t you?) Coal decides to get out of there once again, but this time a rock manages to hit her cranium. But we didn’t see who picked it up! Was it her sister getting sweet retribution? Or her father giving her some punishment for joyriding? What’s your guess?

Favorite Part: When drunk, Coal laughs every time she hiccups. It’s adorable. As is witnessing anybodies first drunken stupor.

Personal Rating: 2. Not a lot happened, and it wasn’t as fun watching Mud get unjust punishment as you’d think it is.

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Porky and Gabby

“I don’t like campin’ anyway!”

Supervision by Ub Iwerks; Animation by Charles Jones and Robert Clampett; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on May 15, 1937. (The first of the two cartoons Mr. Iwerks supposedly directed.)

“Gabby? Who’s Gabby? I don’t remember any Gabby. You must’ve made the guy up. It sounds like something you’d do.” Well, when you decide you’re done gabbin about Gabby, you can join us for my introduction to the caprine. With Porky getting some good popularity and Beans abandoned in a well, a new sidekick was apparently needed. Daffy was still barely one short in. No proof that he was coming back at all yet. Instead, Porky got the goat. Gabby Goat.

He’s not he most fleshed out character. He’s your stereotypical hothead. Short temper, almost always sulking. Almost like the W.B. saw a certain sailor duck and thought giving him horns would make him unrecognizable. People don’t really seem to like Gabby; finding him unpleasant. Unlike Donald or Grumpy, he starts off in a sour mood. (Wouldn’t you if you were raised on goat milk? That’s a joke, by the way.) The other guys either start off smiling, (giving us reason to give sympathy when the universe won’t) or prove that his dominant trait isn’t all he has going for him. (Plus, with six others who are always in a good mood, he adds some much needed comic relief.)

Guess what? The Looney Tunes fanboy likes Gabby. I don’t know, I always saw the situation like this: Gabby isn’t the most pleasant guy to be with and he knows it. Porky has the patience of a saint, and Gabby knows it. Maybe he considers Porky his only true friend because he’s the only one willing to look past his billy-goat gruff exterior? Reading too deep, sure. But who hasn’t given more backstory to a character only they themselves seem to like? At least Gabby wasn’t totally forgotten after his brief three appearances. Guess who I saw in in 2018?

Looks a lot like me in winter.

And now I’m finally ready to get to the story.

Porky is going camping with Gabby to celebrate the latter’s debut. The road is currently in use by a van that their car can’t get around. That’s not Porky honking, Gabby’s the one with all the horns. As they pull ahead, Gabby takes the time to yell at the other driver. Luckily, the guy has something for these kind of situations: an arm on the car that can smack problems. He’s good natured and recommends the little guy relax. The little guy reacts the same way Petunia would. (Isn’t that the same voice clip sped up?)

Further along, another problem angers Gabby: the car stops. They’re going to have to push. (And yet, Porky pulls.) The car goes downhill and they chase, but roles reverse once the car gets on a uphill slant, and comes back. Don’t worry they get knocked into the vehicle and proceed to the campgrounds without any more problems. The spot they park in is so beautiful, that even Gabby can’t help but wear a smile. (Not pants though. It’s Porky’s turn to wear them this week.) Porky sets out to set up the tent; asking Gabby to unload the car. Naturally, the goat grumbles.

While Porky works, he is assaulted by an insect. I’m guessing a horsefly. He asks Gabby to get a swatter, but the goat decides a shovel will work just as well. He swats the the collapsed canvas the two are under, giving Porky a different kind of welt then he already has. Gabby missed the target though, and the fly gets him next. (Gabby clearly knows nothing about insects as he thinks it stung him.) He tries to kill it, but only succeeds in smacking the motor out of their car. At least Porky can finish the tent now.

Looking good. He just needs a little extra bit of rope to tie it all down. Gabby grabs a piece, not aware that its part of an outboard motor. The more he pulls the more it gets revved up, until it flies through the air with the greatest of ease, and turns their tent into a slice of Swiss cheese. This thing could easily take a head off, so the two flee in the car. (The motor still jutting out, nice attention to detail.) They don’t escape much when they find themselves behind the same van from earlier. The out of control motor causes the two vehicles to crash.

When the dust clears, Gabby finally has something to laugh about: the van driver got his comeuppance! (Gabby’s laugh sounds a bit like a bleating goat. Appropriate.) Since the van arm survived, Gabby is given another smack. (And even though I like the guy, I do think it’s funny that Porky beams at this.)

Favorite Part: When Porky asks for the swatter, Gabby doesn’t make any snide comments or angry faces, he immediately starts looking. Out of character? Perhaps, but I see it as proof that Gabby really does think of Porky as his only friend. I’m not kiddin’.

Personal Rating: 2. I don’t think many others will be able to enjoy Gabby as much as I do.

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You’re too Careless with your Kisses

“Ain’t that just like a woman?”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Larry Martin. A Merrie Melody released on September 10, 1932.

Late at night, a tipsy bee heads back home. Since he’s been drinking, he can’t let the wife know that he’s there, and tiptoes into their room. They cut the sneaking crap fast, and his clumsy klutziness wakes the girl up. She is none to pleased to find Rupert (her husband) has been at the spiked honey again. (I’m a calling her Hunny. Objections? I’ve got none.) There’s no time for reprimanding him though. (Her antennae turn black.) As the female, it’s her responsibility to go out and make honey to make dough.

Outside (where her antennae have decided to stay black) she sets to work. She’s definitely got an interesting method of gathering nectar. She separates the lower half of her abdomen, and uses it like a bucket to scoop out the sugary sweetness. Kind of like an enema as thought up by David Lynch. I’m torn (get it?) between laughing my butt off and puking my guts out. And then comes the rain…

Bee’s can’t fly in this kind of weather. In fact, if Mario has taught me anything, the water there should turn her into a human, and those make milk, not honey! (Kind of hard to when you’re limited to one stomach.) So after robbing a store for a skirt and top, (Okay then. Perhaps you’d like to explain her change of wardrobe?) She comes to the first place one could conceivably call shelter. If I knew anything about predators, then I’d wager a spider lives here. A spider lives here and…Hey! I know this guy!

Score that later short another point! (You know, now I’m starting to think that that Terrible Tom character was the cat from “It’s got me again!“)

Spike (who still looks nothing like any spider I’ve ever seen) brings her in. She immediately recognizes the danger she’s in, but tries to escape up his winding stair! You fool! (Oh, and her stripes are back. K.) Her cries and screams reach her husband who seems to be snapping out of his stupor. He’s got no stinger, but he can blow a mean horn to alert the proper authorities. (I like how the cartoon trusts our intelligence enough to not spell out that the bees are riding horseflies.)

Rupert gets there first, and Spike plans to eat him as well. So Rupert just drags a thorny vine through the guy’s crotch! That looks to completely redefine ‘painful’. Imagine how much worse it would be without an exoskeleton. This isn’t going to be a winning fight, so Spike heads for his washtub boat. (Wait, if that’s human sized… I knew it! He’s not a spider! He probably just got spit on by Peter Parker!) The bee’s fight back like planes on a airliner, (One of whom teleports back to her original spot. Coward) but Spike knows how to defend himself, and puts up a good fight.

Time for the best weapon they have! What I presume to be a wasp (and the only insect in this short that has the correct number of limbs) drops a firecracker on the “arachnid”. The explosion not only destroys his tub, but it makes it look a lot like some stocks, and Spike is trapped in them as well. A happy ending for the pollinators. I guess willing to stand up to a predator is enough of a reason for Hunny to forgive her honey. (Come on. You knew I was going to say that.)

Favorite Part: Okay, that way of getting honey was pretty cool and unbelievably creative. I wish I had thought that up.

Personal Rating:2. Doesn’t do anything too creative that you haven’t seen in any other rescue picture. And the soundtrack is rather depressing.

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Tin Pan Alley Cats

“GET ME OUTTA HERE!”

Supervision by Bob Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation: Rod Scribner; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on July 17, 1943.

Yessir. This here’s another induction into the “Censored 11” hall of infame. Yet, it got to join “Coal White” on the top 100 Looney Tunes list. And I think it deserves its place. Unfortunately hurtful caricatures and all.

Cats Waller (who isn’t named in the short, but anyone who has even the most remote idea of Fats Waller is going to refer to him as such) is all set to have a good time tonight. His choice of venue is the Kit Kat Klub. Oh geeze. Oh wow. That’s just plain mean. This cartoon is already robbing people of dignity, (or cats as the case may be) but why remind them of that? Despite the fact that it should raise some sort of flag, (and while I’d want it to be red, I’ve got a bad feeling it’d be white.) Cats is still making a beeline thataway.

Next door is the Uncle Tomcat Mission. It’s where you’re likely to find preachers who waste their time trying to keep other cats out. I mean really. Why would you set your base of operations RIGHT NEXT to the place that is just going to tempt people? At least do it from across the street. They try to warn Cats of the danger within. Namely, wine, women, and song. That’s too vague. Wine is everywhere in the bible. (I think. I never really could get past all that begatting.) Not all women are sluts; one could be the positive influence Cats needs. And music is inherently one of the most pure things mankind has ever taken part in. No sell, Cats chooses hell.

That preachy preacher. This place looks great! (Despite how racist it is portrayed. And the humans within. So who is the dominant species in this short?) Cats heads straight for the piano and joins in a sweet jam session. Music. What ever could cause anyone to think this could lead to eternal damnation? The trumpet player at the klub makes Cats a promise: he is going to use his music to send the little guy out of this world. Clearly, we are talking figuratively, so Cats is all for it. Do your thing!

And Cats floats, and floats, and floats, until… he really is out of this world. It may look a little bit disturbing what with the statures shaped like musical instruments with severed hands still attached, but I never forget my ideal home. He’s in Wackyland! That lucky so-and-so! It may not be referred to as such, but it’s definitely the same place. With new features even. Example 1: Cats is welcomed to his new home by a disembodied pair of lips.

Looking ahead, we can see all the residents we’ve come to know and love. That guy who plays music from his flower, the one who smokes a cigar, cigarette, and pipe all at once, that rabbit who swings by his ears. (My mom fears him. I’m fearing that saxophone with a mouth and eye in the background.) But you know what else? This is our first time getting to see Wackyland in glorious technicolor! Sure, all the residents have black accented voices that I can’t be sure are real at all, but what’s more amazing is how much here would get reused in “Dough for the Do-do“. (That giant watermelon slice doesn’t seem so P.C. anymore.)

Cats tries exploring, but the residents are just a bit too out of this world for him. And those… trees, I think? That he’s hiding behind? Those are also scarring me for life. And I’m loving every moment of it! (Who would have thought a cello with feet could give me a heart attack?) Oh, and it might interest you to know that this is also the debut of Wackyland’s pride and joy: The Rubber Band. (Love those guys. They’re cute and they’re talented musicians. You don’t see that often these days.)

And Wackyland is even getting into the wartime spirit. Making us all feel better about ourselves by having Axis leaders rub their buttocks together. Yet, Cats is unhappy and wants to escape back to where he came from. There’s an elevator, but Cats was suddenly lying down to match Porky’s pose from years earlier, and he misses his chance. (It’s not the dodo this time, sadly. Just some black guy who looks like a duck with those inaccurate lips, and bird-like neck.)

The breaking point comes when Cats is forced to see Stalin kicking Hitler in the derriere. He begs, pleads, demands that he be brought back. (Something you’d never hear me saying.) Wish granted. I don’t know how, but the trumpeter is able to get him back to Earth. (Maybe it was a Moonside situation and it was all in Cat’s head?) Scared straight, Cats heads next door to help spread the spiritual word. Judging by their shocked expressions, this is the first time their preaching has ever reached someone.

Favorite Part: You kidding? We got to return to Wackyland! And they were kind enough to change it enough so that it wasn’t a total rerun. Sure, it’s become a bit more mean spirited this time around. But that creepy imagery was impressively creative! Isn’t amazing how putting limbs on random objects automatically makes them lovecraftian?

Personal Rating: 3. I’d like to give it a four, but it just can’t compete with its older brother, and the offensive imagery is sure to offend a good number of people no matter how long it ages. The soundtrack is awesome though.

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A Mouse Divided

“Let’s face it; I can’t fly any feather.”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Art Davis, Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on January 31, 1953.

We’ve seen a cat delivered to mice parents before, what if the situations were reversed? All thanks to Stupor Stork, making his first appearance, and not only being inebriated BEFORE any deliveries, but also sounding a bit more helium-ish. As fate is funny, he gives up at the house of Sylvester and his Mrs. She’s just been complaining to him about their lack of offspring. Something that she must have brought up before, seeing as how Sylvester mockingly imitates her as she weeps.

Stupor leaves them with the bundle, and even if Sylvester wasn’t too keen on the idea of having children, he’s still as excited as his wife to hear the news. (I like that.) To their shock, their son is a mouse. (To my shock, there was lot more bundle than what is needed for a mouse pup. But then, how else could anyone be fooled into thinking a kitten is in there?) Mrs. S. is a bit taken aback, but one “Mama” is enough to get her maternal instincts going. Her husband is more on the “He’s so cute, I could eat him up” train of thought. She won’t have it.

Foolishly enough, she even trusts her man with watching the kid while she goes out. As soon as the door shuts, Sylvester gives the baby a pepper powdering, a lettuce diaper, and two slices of bread to rest between. (I guess the safety pin is akin to a toothpick.) Before one bite happens, the infant identifies the predator as “daddy” and that’s all it takes. Sylvester is more taken with the child then I’ve ever seen him with his biological kid. It’s still sweet.

Well, it looks like father and son are going to get along swimmingly. The two decide to take a stroll around the block, and are almost immediately chased home by throngs of other cats. Seeing as how they are a species that is concerned about nobody’s happiness but their own, they have no problem trying to kill a child in front of its parent. They try anyway they can to get in. Disguised as a salesman, claiming to be a babysitter, even trying to break down the door. (You’d think these drama queens have never eaten before.)

Unlike most of his movie career, Sylvester succeeds in driving them all off. (I mean, if he didn’t, then Friz would have infant blood on his resume. I’m not even sure Parker and Stone can make such a claim. And I’m not looking it up.) But even though I’d say the family is happy together and can overcome these obstacles, the higher ups really got on Stupor’s case and he’s back to retrieve the kid. Rather than, pfft, I don’t know, knocking at the door to explain the mistake, he opts to use a baited fishing line.

Considering the kind of day he’s been having, it’s not strange that Sylvester thinks its just another cat trick. He pulls the line himself, and Stupor proves his strength by reeling him in. (As a stork, I’m sure he’s delivered his fair share of whale calves.) Still not clear in the head, he mistakes Sylvester for the mouse, and delivers him to the mouse parents. That’s going to be embarrassing to explain.

Favorite Part: When his wife says that the kid is theirs, Sylvester takes that as an excuse to share the meal. Even going so far as to hold a cleaver above the child.

Personal Rating: 4. It’s adorable. True the ending is a bit mean, but I choose to think that afterwards, the two cats got to keep the kid, and he learned to fight off all his would be predators.

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Goopy Geer

“Oh, goofy, goofy, Goopy!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Rollin Hamilton; Music by Frank Marsales. A Merrie Melody released on April 16, 1932.

You enjoyed “Lady Play Your Mandolin,” didn’t you?

What do you mean ‘it was light on story’? What more were you expecting? Leave this classroom. Everyone else is allowed to mock you on your way out.

For those of us who don’t mistake short films for novels, I’m happy to say that there is a lot of reused animation for this picture. (I’m happy to say that because I took my Zoloft.) It leads me to believe that this short is taking place in the same cantina as L.P.Y.M. was. And if you are listening to the crowd correctly, you’ll find that they are demanding Goopy Geer. He’s been the entertainment ever since Foxy got called out for ripping off a rodents style and took his girlfriend with him. Don’t worry. The three are friends.

Only close friends skip

Goopy must be a pretty talented pianuh player. Even Mickey Clone 277 wants to see him perform. You know, Goopy doesn’t do any sort of practicing. That’s how you know he’s talented. You could say he plays by ear. (They make that joke, and when the G-dog appeared on Tiny Toons, he’d make it again. It’s his favorite.) He’s also quite friendly with the clientele. He’s more than happy to accompany a trio of kittens as they sup on soup.

Never mind. Those are not any felines I’m aware of. They share a digestive tract! The first places a cracker in his mouth, the second chews, and the third swallows. It defies nature! Oh wait. I forgot that cartoons do that on a minute-ly basis, as opposed to a daily one. Another diner is a bull who is eating the world’s toughest pasta. I’ve never seen anyone need to chew spaghetti so much. (Unless it’s just a reference to how bulls normally eat?)

No meal for me, thanks. I’ve seen what goes on in that kitchen. They’ve got a naked chicken swimming in broth to make soup. I can’t believe its got its cloaca clenched tight all the time! And now that I’ve more than likely ruined the rest of your week with that image, let’s get our singer on stage! I’m guessing that it’s the character that I once named “Gigi,” so there’s no need for another one of my awesomely picked names this week. Shame, as Warner Bros. pays me a nickel for every unnamed character of theirs I christen.*

Her signing is also enjoyed by the crowd. Just look at Clone  441 applaud! (He never misses a show you know.) With singing and piano-ing combined, everyone (and a couple coat racks as well) get their groove on. Even Foxy’s horse stops by to get tanked once again. He nearly has the exact same hallucination as last time, but now he sees himself as Gandhi at the end. (Wouldn’t that be reason to cheer? If what Charlie Brown’s been telling me is true, girls are naturally attracted to zero hair. Explains my lack of love life.)

Well, as the saying goes, alcoholic horses and pianos don’t mix, and the equines explosive expectorations soon reduce Goopy’s piano to shambles. A crime punishable by limit to three cartoons max. Nice knowing you, Goop.

Favorite Part: Gigi arriving on stage with a bad pun for Mr. Geer. His reaction is quite humorous. Quite indeed.

Personal Rating: 2. It could’ve done better if a good chunk of it hadn’t been seen already.

*This is a lie. I have never even been approached. I didn’t think I needed to tell you this, but I’ve been surprised at how seriously people take me before.