A Tale of Two Mice

“You’re scared of the cat.”

Directed by Frank Tashlin; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Art Davis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on June 30, 1945.

It’s the first of the two times Babbit and Catstello were mice, and it turns out that hunting cheese is nearly as dangerous as hunting Tweety. There’s a cat that looks a lot like Babbit used to guarding the stuff, but the current Babbit is certain that his rotund chum can get past him to the dairy. He lays out the plan while his ears change color. Catstello is against it until he hears that the cat will be asleep. That’ll be a cinch! He’s ready now! He’ll show the old model of Babbit!

Change of plans! He wants back in the hole, pronto! But Babbit can’t let that happen, and flings Catsy back out via rubber band. Cats crashes into the cat and barely makes it back to the safety of the hole. Plan two is much more sensible: Catstello will fly over in a wind-up plane. Babbit is so sure that this will work, that he’ll be a jackass if it won’t. (His fur will change color regardless.) You know this is going to end swell when the wings get torn off on the small hole. No flying allowed, but the plane does beat the cat up a little before returning back home. Catstello is happy to remind him of his promise. (Number of times ‘jackass’ is said in “A Tale of Two Mice”: 3.)

The next plan must’ve worked great at first as we see the two in the middle of it. From what I can gather, Babbit hoisted a platform over the cat to the fridge for Catstello to load with cheese. But it was a hefty hunk of the stuff, and Babbit struggles to hold both it and Castello’s portly girth. He can’t hold on much longer and the load plunges down towards the cat, stopping at the last possible moment. I get a kick out of Catstello’s raspy, squeaky, whispery yells for help. And I can believe Babbit could hear them, as he’s been dragged right up to the cat’s maw. Soon as he realizes he’s in the danger zone, he’s out, leaving Catstello to face whatever fate the cat chooses, alone.

Catstello has a half good idea: using the cheese as cover. The cat following and appearing to just be gliding along the ground. (I’ve seen cats do that, sure.) Babbit tries to warn his companion, but is just reminded that this is a stealth operation. When the danger is revealed, Babbit does what I’d expect any best friend to do: start advertising for a new roommate. The cat tries to toss his prize into his mouth, but doing that in front of a fold-out ironing board was second only to doing so in the midst of a firing squad in terms of worst places to toss a prize into his mouth.

Catstello opens it, crushing the cat’s skull, somehow warping inside the iron that was also inside, and crushes the cat’s skull again. With imminent death right behind him, he grabs the cheese and makes it back to safety, with doom on his heels. Once safe, Babbit has the audacity to berate his partner for grabbing Swiss, knowing full well that Babbit hates the stuff. (I can’t blame him for not being able to tell at a glance. All cartoon cheese has holes. Without them, they’d look like tofu.) Having had a very tiring day, Catstello stuffs the stuff down Babbit’s throat.

Favorite Part: Babbit trying to go over his plan, with Catstello loudly saying that he’s not doing it. The face Babbit makes upon realized he’s being ignored, coupled with the threatening smile he flashes are two of the greatest gifts to animated facial features.

Personal Rating: 3. The animation on Catstello alone makes this at least worth one watch by every person on Earth.

Behind the Meat-ball

“You’ve had this feeling before, haven’t you folks?”


Directed by (uncredited) Frank Tashlin; Story by Melvin Millar; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on April 7, 1945.

Fido is a dog, and like every dog I’ve ever known, obsesses about food. Seeing as he’s a proud member of Order carnivora, his dreams consist entirely of meat. (Notice how none of those visions are poultry or fish? Nice touch, guys. Being smart enough to not suggest your dog wants to eat something full of chokeable bones.) Dreams are about to become reality when his human calls him over for food.

Reality becomes a nightmare when he remembers that his human is one of those evil types who thinks because SHE’S vegetarian, so should her dog be. (Although this might just relate to my dog, but she’d be going crazy for those carrots.) He digs through his bowl to see if there’s anything he can stomach in there, and he happily locates a can of dog food at the bottom. (Because his human is one of those evil types who thinks letting her dog chew on a jagged piece of metal…)

Sadly, even this isn’t a solution as the ingredients are nothing but nutrients with no actual food contained. (Sorta like a reverse piece of candy.) It’s getting so bad that he’s starting to see pieces of the environment as pieces of delicious meat. When he sees an actual piece of meat fall out of a delivery truck, he chooses to not believe this time. But another dog takes the meat for himself, letting Fido know that yes, this one was the real deal.

He grabs a hold of the of the flesh, but since the little one (that is now called Rex) knew he’d never be able to win a tug-of-war, he hooked his end onto a telephone pole. Fido pulls hard, and gets a painful result once he finally wins the test of strength. And now a third contestant enters: a bulldog that I’m going to call Lassie. (Because she looks like a Lassie, okay?) Fido takes the meat and runs, but then does a really stupid thing: stops and taunts his pursuer. (You could’ve kept running. You could’ve eaten it while you had a chance. You could’ve made a decoy.)

He also tries to explain. Saying that the meat really IS his, but a small dog he never saw before took it from him. Lassie isn’t the understanding type, punches Fido and takes the meat back. In turn, Rex takes it from her. This leads to a chase, that leads to a tussle, that ends up with the meat inside Rex’s belly. Fido decides there is only viable option left: hitting himself and Lassie over the head and taking refuge in their dreams.

Favorite Part: Fido’s label for vegetables: “Bugs Bunny food.” (I’ve got to start doing that.)

Personal Rating: 3. And remember, it’s my two’s that equal mediocre.

Brother Brat

“The situation is supernatural!”

Direction by Frank Tashlin; Story by Melvin Millar; Animation by Art Davis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on July 15, 1944.

By this point in history, the U.S. has been part of World War II for a while now. All the men are off fighting, so it’s up to the women to make the weapons we need. Being just as capable (if not more so) then males, the women of the country have a solution for nearly every problem. The big one at the moment that still needs some answering: who will watch my child while I work?

Such a conundrum is a problem of some large woman. She answers it pretty quickly: the one guy who children adore and as such, didn’t go to the war: Porky! (Of course, she kinda guilts him into it. Saying this is the only way the planes are going to keep being produced.) Still, being the swell guy he is, Porky isn’t all that upset and prepares to be the best sitter he can be. Should be a cinch since she lent him a child psychology book. First step is easy: ask the kid his name. (Why not? Babies are people too.)

I take it back. This probably isn’t going to go too well, since the first time we see the kid, he is playing solitaire. Well, he’s got to have a name at any rate. Fittingly, it’s Butch. (He also mocks Porky’s manner of speech. Keep it up, ugly, and I’ll murder you in your sleep. Don’t tempt me, how do you think George Carlin died?) Butch also hands Porky an anvil, and the pig ends up in the basement. So far so bad, what’s the book’s next suggestion?

Give the kid a cat? Oddly specific, but unless you’re me, it might be able to melt his heart’s rough exterior. (And immature it may be, I can’t help snickering when Porky tells the kid to play with a pussy.) I guess Porky already had a pet? I hope he didn’t go buy one just for this kid. (He’s so generous! It gets me right here.) Hey, maybe Butch isn’t so bad a kid after all, he’s playing jump rope with the cat! (Ah, the fun I had when I did that as a child. It’s probably why I had to see a psychiatrist.)

Butch also reads Esquire Jr. (Plenty of (literal) babes in there) He also does not want to be told that he is too young for this. When Porky makes this mistake, the kid bites a finger and holds on tight. The book is being no help, so Porky has to shake the little terror off. Seems that was the tipping point, as he declares war and chases my amigo with a cleaver. (You know how parents tend to defend their kid’s actions? I wonder how she’d talk her way out of this one) We won’t get any answers to that, but she at least does come to the rescue and ask why he didn’t use the book. Obviously, he did, but she shows that he was using it wrong. She meant it to be used for spanking. (No pity for Butch. He’s earned this)

Favorite part: Butch wolf whistling at his magazine. (Because a baby being horny is funny.)

Personal Rating: 3

Wholly Smoke

“I ain’t a p-puh-puny puss!”

 Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by George Manuell; Animation by Robert Bentley; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938. Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by George Manuell; Animation by Robert Bentley; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938.

You know, you really shouldn’t smoke. It’s bad for you, makes you unpleasant to be around, and eats up funds you could be using for something more important. And don’t give me any of that: “It’s too addicting” crap. You don’t want to learn the hard way. My pal Porky did.

Another of the 100 greatest and my personal favorite from Tashlin.

It’s a lovely Sunday and Porky’s momma calls her offspring down. (Hilariously voiced by Ted Pierce) She sends him off to church with a nickel for the collection plate. (Why isn’t she going too? I guess she just doesn’t want her child to be an atheist like herself.) On the way, Porky comes across some kid smoking a cigar. He points out that it’s bad but the kid doesn’t take him seriously. Instead, he shows off some tricks he can do with the smoke. Making a target and hitting it with an arrow, creating a duck that flies, and kicking his cigar like a hackey sack and catching it again in his mouth. (Set to an ominous “Merry Go Round Broke Down”) With his masculinity threatened, Porky bets the thug 5 real cents (They’re children and this is the thirties, that’s some serious dough right there) that he is just as tough. The kid accepts and hands over his cigar, taking the nickel. (He hasn’t won yet, but he doesn’t need to stick around really. Porky is practicing.) He treis to show off some tricks with the smoke. He makes a target but hits his own behind with an arrow, creating a duck that flies and lays an egg on his face, and kicking his cigar like a hackey sack an catching the lit side in his mouth. (Set to an adorable “Merry Go Round Broke Down”) But all that tobacco takes its toll on poor Porky and he woozily blunders around, coming to a stop in a smoke shop. There he is spotted by some kind of smoke gremlin. He has the power to shrink Porky in size and wake him up with a snap of his fingers. He is a little shocked Porky doesn’t know who he is. All smokers know his name: Nick O’ Teen. (Who is one of the scariest things Looney Tunes has to offer. With his soulless eyes, magical powers, and soft voice. (Again, brilliantly portrayed by Pierce.) Nick ties Porky up and prepares to go “Pigs is Pigs” on him. With musical accompaniment. There are some singing matchsticks who look like they have blackface, (but you could say its debatable since they are extinguished) some chewing tobacco, and the three stogies. Singing a frightfully creepy version of “Mysterious Mose” about how little children shouldn’t smoke. (No one should, but they don’t want to come across as preachy.) Porky is forced into smoking more cigars, and given chewing tobacco, (which the poor guy swallows) as all the mascots come to life to scold him. (I would say it’s a nightmare version of “Foodfight”, but the original already earned that title, so this is the family friendly version by default) Bing Crosby and Rudy Vallee are there as some “Crooner” brand cigars. (Corona) Cigarettes march, snuff boxes are drums, and even a pipe cleaner gets in the fun by imitating Cab Calloway. (Taking a break from appearing in Betty Boop cartoons) Porky does manage to get free and wakes up from this trippy… “pipe dream?” (Screw you, it’s funny) Hearing the church bell, he hurries over. Except, he still needs that nickel. He takes it back from the bully, shoves the cigar in his face and goes back to church to donate it. He vows never to smoke again. (Except he did in “Rocket Squad.” And “Deduce, you say.” And “The Awful Orphan.” And… Well, at least he never smoked a cigar again. So take it from me and Porky: Don’t smoke. Or we won’t be your friend.)

Personal Rating: 4 (But if “Pigs is Pigs” never had come out, it’d get the 5.)

Porky’s Double Trouble

“Why, you’re not Porky Pig!”

 Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by George Manuel; Animation by Joe D'Igalo; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Looney Tune realeased in 1937. Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by George Manuel; Animation by Joe D’Igalo; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Looney Tune realeased in 1937.

A criminal has escaped from Alcarazz prison. Its a pig known as the Killer and though he is spotted, he manages to escape. His gang hides out at an abandoned girl’s school and is well aware of their boss’s big break. Just then, an attractive woman shows up claiming to have a message from Killer. The guys waste no time in letting her in. The message is this: “Don’t trust ladies.” Surprise! It was the Killer in drag all along! He takes a peek at the paper to see his story, and finds something else interesting. Seems Porky has finally been promoted from janitor to bank teller in only 15 years! (You may think this is a slow news day, but you’re wrong. Porky is the kind of guy whose birthday should be a national holiday. What did you do on March 9th?) Killer (whose real name I will guess is Hammy Hog) notices the similarities betwen the two. (Aside from the fact Porky shaves and that I’d be willing to date him if I was gay, they could be identical twins) Killer hatches an idea and fills the others in on it. The bank that Porky works at meanwhile, is the “Worst National Bank.” He loves his job. The clients are nice, and Petunia the secretary keeps asking him on dates. (Don’t worry. This is the last time she looks so weird. She gets a cute makeover once Clampett takes over) Porky is shy though, and can’t accept opting to go have lunch instead. (Food doesn’t judge) On the way, he sees a lady who is having car trouble. Porky is all around talented and offers to fix it up for her. She in turn kidnaps him. Surprise! It was the Killer in drag all along! Taking Porky back to the hideout, he steals his clothes (don’t freak out. He left Porky’s underwear alone. He’s not a weirdo) and tells of his grand plan. He’ll keep all the deposits, and once people figure out what is going on, Porky will be the one in trouble. Heading back to the bank, Killer gets in place and happily pockets everyone’s belongings. He even responds to Petunia with a perfect impersonation of Porky. She asks him out again, but not being as shy as Porky (or as charming, or as gentleman like, or…) he just steals a kiss from her. Petunia isn’t dumb and knows at once that this isn’t her beloved Porky. She calls the police while Killer escapes back to his hideout. (If he only kept his hormones in check, he could have kept this going at least until I visited. I don’t fall for fake Porky’s) The cops were following close behind though, as they find the place. Exchanging bullets, Porky’s bonds are shot and finding himself free, he begins to kick @$$. (Beating up thugs is no more difficult than fixing cars. You learn a lot from 15 years of janitorial work.) He gets to the killer just as the police and Petunia break in. The cops are not as smart as she is, and can’t tell which pig is which. (Well, to be fair, I wouldn’t think the pig in just is underwear is Porky right away either. He doesn’t do things like that) Petunia can figure it out though. Asking one of them out, gets another shy response. Petunia however, has become a b*tch again and decides she prefers Killer. Porky proves that he can kiss just as well if not better by giving her one himself. Still preferring the other guy she opts to wait for him. (Theory! Petunia’s makeover is no coincidence! Warner Bros. got a new Petunia because Porky deserves it! Wow, my Porky fanboyism is out of control today. Maybe I should blog about Beans again next week.)

Personal Rating: 3

Scrap Happy Daffy

“What I’d give for a can of spinach now”

Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Animation by Art Davis; Story by Don Christensen; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1943.

Another one considered to be one of the 100 greatest Looney Tunes. This was also the first cartoon Tashlin directed upon coming back to Warner Bros. after leaving Columbia Studios.

We open on Daffy climbing his giant scrap pile. He’s got plenty of American pride! (And cans whose insides change colors.) Would you like to make your own scrap pile? It’s easy! Their is plenty of items you can donate to help the troops, and Daffy is happy to list them all! (Although he will take a quick break to whistle at the bathing suit model painted on his fence.) This will surely get the ire of Hitler. And it does indeed. Daffy’s pile is known the world over and Hitler is furious. He wants that pile destroyed and sends one of his subs to do so. The sub has a secret weapon. The perfect way to get rid of metal in a cartoon: a goat. (I would like to point out how scientifically inaccurate this is, but I hope you already know it) The goat happily chows down, but soon comes down with a case of hiccups. A patrolling Daffy hears the noise and attempts to intimidate the intruder, before realizing he’s looking at his reflection. Finding the real source of the noise, he takes pity on the ungulate and mixes him up a hiccup cure. Not long after this, he spies the swastika on the goat’s collar and realizes what it is there for. (And calling it one of the best names I’ve ever heard: a tin termite. Brilliant.) The goat tries to strike, but Daffy takes advantage of its moral compass by wearing glasses. (Nazi goats have limits to their cruelties) All too soon though, he loses this protection and is sent flying. He wants to give up, but the apparitions of his ancestors remind him that Americans don’t give up. (Did you know Lincoln was a duck? A duck that somehow grew a beard even) Filled with some new found pride, Daffy evolves into: SUPER AMERICAN! (Two references to cartoons from the Fleischer studios based on already existing characters in one Looney Tune? It must be my birthday! No wait, that’s this Sunday) With his new abilities, Daffy has the goat running back to the sub. The Nazis fire their cannon at him, but he punches their shots away one by one. With no other alternative, they try to escape. Daffy grabs hold of the sub’s periscope before the screen dissolves to him wrestling with a faucet back at his pile. It was nothing but a dream! However, the goat and Nazis are there too, with their sub now part of Daffy’s collection. They ask to be left out of his next dream.

Personal Rating: 3

Porky at the Crocadero

“Today… you are a ham!”

 Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by Lew Landsman; Animation by Volney White; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938 Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by Lew Landsman; Animation by Volney White; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938

No relation to the also awesome “Quasi at the Quackadero.” (Wish that was a Looney Tune, so I could blog about it) The Crocadero in question is based on the “Trocadero Ballroom” Porky is outside and excited to see that many conductors are scheduled to be playing that night. It’s Porky’s dream to be a conductor! (Isn’t a conductor what you do when you can’t play an instrument? Like how a coach can’t play a sport and someone who can’t draw blogs about animation?) His heroes include Leopold Stokowski (Whose name I’m actually bothering to spell right for once) Rudy Vallee, and Benny Goodman. He idolizes them so much, he imitates them all. But there is one thing to dampen his glee. It’s $25.00 for a plate at this place. (Fifty cents more gets you food on the plate) Porky can’t afford that, so he slumps off. But God is on his side, as he finds that the club is hiring and he rushes in. He gets the job because why wouldn’t he? And he begins washing the dishes. His boss (some sort of aquatic mammal. I’d like to say walrus, but he has too much neck and no tusks, so maybe he’s a sea otter.) He tells Porky to get his work done, and he just might be able to watch the music. But there’s a fly in the ointment. Actually, in the kitchen. Porky tries to get it which results in him breaking many dishes. He is fired. (And I begin sharpening my aquatic mammals carving knife) But God is still on Porky’s side as there are no conductors for the eager crowd and the boss has received a telegram saying that they won’t make it. The boss has a good idea! Get Porky back! His fly swatting did look an awful lot like conducting. He heads out to get him back “Schnell!” (Which, a randomly appearing narrator tells us, means “fast.”) He catches up to the pig and brings him back. (Of course, since the crowd is expecting other people, Porky will have to be in several disguises.) Good thing he takes to impersonating his heroes so much! He acts as Paul Whiteman (with some added gut) and gets some jazz going. A penguin waiter (there is no other kind in cartoons) has his drink stolen by a trombone player, and some lesbian kangaroos dance. (They must be lesbian! They both have pouches!) As Guy Lumbago (Guy Lambardo) Porky has his “Boiled Kanadians” sing “Summer Nights” rather shakily. (The audience dances to the beat) And as Cob Howlaway (Cab Calloway) Porky puts on some blackface. Which… actually doesn’t look too racist here. Maybe it’s just because I’m a Porky worshiping fanboy, but he looks pretty tame. The lips aren’t too exaggerated and it’s always fun to see Cab referenced. Good work Porky! He sings Chinatown (even dressing up as a Chinese Stereotype at one point. Less charming) while the band plays along. A turtle makes his body a banjo, a rabbit plays two pianos at once, (with his paws and ears) and a goat plays his beard when his violin breaks. The penguin waiter meanwhile, (who has been having his drinks stolen throughout the whole time) finally one ups the thief by drinking the drink himself.

Personal Rating: 3 (Unless you really know old conductors. Then it’s a 4)

3 Private Snafu Shorts: The Goldbrick/The Home Front/Censored

And they’re all directed by Frank Tashlin! Hope you’re not sick of the guy yet. Don’t worry, we’ll be taking a break after this post.

The Goldbrick” Released in 1943

“I do believe I’m putting on weight.”

Snafu is sleeping when he is woken up. (What else would he be doing if he was woken up?) He is naturally unhappy about this, and wishes to not have to get up for drills. A sprite named Goldie shows up and he lets Snafu in on some secrets of avoiding work. If you fake an illness, you can spend a day in bed with a hot nurse by your side. (Who must suck at her job if she can’t tell he’s faking.) When digging a trench, Goldie advises him to dig just enough for his head, and he’s earned a well deserved nap. Instead of pushing a load up a hill, have someone help while you sit on the load and push.

Soon, Snafu is lazy and out of shape. This comes back to bite him when he’s actually on the field. Deciding to goldbrick since that’s all he knows, he limps towards a convenient hospital. It’s a trap of course, and he ends up smashed by a hammer. He’s okay though and gets out. More trouble is out there, as an enemy tank chases him down. He digs a trench, but as he only ever digs enough for his head, his rear sticks out and the tank crushes him. He’s dead. (Snafu dies quite a few times in his shorts.) Goldie then reveals that he was really Japanese the whole time. (Remember: we were enemies. Japanese people do not look or sound like that.) But Snafu will be remembered, thanks to his 22 karat goldbrick grave.

Personal Rating: 3

The Home Front” Released in 1943

“I didn’t know you cared.”

This short begins with Snafu in a very cold location. He complains because that’s what he does. He figures that all his loved ones are enjoying themselves back home. His dad is playing pool, his mom is playing bridge and gossiping, and his grandpa is being a pervert at a burlesque show. Worst of all, his sweet Sally Lou is no doubt dating someone else. (Isn’t that just how women are? If you leave them, they replace you.) Out pops good ole’ Technical Fairy First Class. He has a TV and lets Snafu see how much “fun” his family is having.

Turns out, that Snafu is the black sheep of the family, as the rest are working real hard. His dad’s building tanks, his mom’s planting a victory garden, and gramps is reinforcing battleships. And dear sweet Sally Lou? She joined the W.A.C.s. (I hope you feel like a dope, Snafu.) He tries to give her image a  kiss, but since she’s not really there, he kisses the fairy instead. (Hey, he lived this time. He’s coming home, Sally!)

Personal Rating: 3

Censored” Released in 1944

“Mail this for me!”

Snafu is trying to send the lovely Sally Lou a letter. (A wimpy, short, dumb, lazy, man gets a hot chick? It’s plausible, but not fair.) Only one thing is preventing him from getting to the postbox: The censor. He/She/It catches Snafu and shreds his letter to nothing but “Greetings” and “Farewell.” On a train, Snafu tries again and this time folds it into a paper airplane. Tossing it outside does not work, as the censor has a net. The note is returned to Snafu as paper dolls. On the ship to his next destination, he tries again with the help of a dove he has in his pants. (Not one word about that.) The assistant censor, (a hawk) catches the bird who points out it was not his plan. (He’s some sort of stool bird!) The letter is beaked this time.

Snafu is getting desperate to talk to M.L. and luckily for him, his pal Technical Fairy First Class agrees to send it after Snafu tells him it’s safe. He and his girl use a code when speaking. The note delivers and Mary gets itttttt… I never thought I’d see this much skin when I decided to start reviewing shorts. (Yes, I know these shorts were for the armed forces, but she’s not even wearing a bra!) Even though he’s asked her to keep quiet, she goes on to tell her mother who goes on to tell more people. Eventually, through use of the telephone game, the Japanese here of it too and prepare an ambush at Bingo Bango island, where the U.S. is heading to. Unaware of the dangers, Snafu and the others land only to get blown up. Turns out it was all a dream. (Three shorts today. 1 death, 1 live, and 1 both.) Turns out T.F.F.C never sent the letter. Having learned his lesson, Snafu censors it himself.

Personal Rating: 3

The Stupid Cupid

“Ahhh, I love you! I want to marry you!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

It must be Valentines Day in this short, because Cupid is joyously spreading love. I bet you didn’t know Elmer was cupid, did you? (His laughs are not supplied by the usual Arthur Q. Bryan, but rather by a one Frank Graham.) But this cupid doesn’t really seem to care about matching the right creatures together. Sure, he has a bird immediately grab a mate, (and build a house) and gets a stallion to jump out of his shoes, for a mare but he also has a dog fall for the cat he was about to eat. (The cat proceeds to shoot his nine lives away.) So, I guess Cupid’s a mad shipper.

Either way, Daffy is next on his agenda. But Daffy is not happy to see Cupid again. Yes, they have a history. Apparently the year before, Daffy was shot by one of Cupid’s love darts, (And I don’t mean the kind used by snails.) and ended up being shot gun married and having some ducklings. Yes, one has two heads. (You didn’t think Duckman was completely original did you?) Daffy uses Cupid’s bow to launch him away, but Cupid just giggles it off. He prepares a monstrous arrow and manages to hit the duck. The first creature that Daffy spots is (9, 10) a big fat hen.

He happily starts trying to hit on her. Emily (that’s really her name, I didn’t have to make one up this time.) is no whore, and runs away. Eventually, Daffy finds her in a closet and begins smooching. This would be a terrible time for Emily’s husband to show up. Just then, Emily’s husband shows up, and pries them apart. (Emily looks a little too calm kissing Daffy.) The rooster (let’s call him…Rocko) gets ready to pummel the duck when Daffy comes to his senses. He explains that it was Cupid’s fault and apologizes stating he’s a family man as well. (Bringing his family in for a cameo to prove it) Rocko is a kind soul, and forgives the duck letting him go.

Daffy is grateful and doesn’t notice Cupid is still out there. One shot later, and he jumps in between the chicken’s make out session. (And it fades out rather quickly. Apparently there was an original ending where Daffy said, “Don’t knock it till you try it!” Sorry Daffy, that’s not what I think of when I picture a hot chick.)

Personal Rating: 4

Porky’s Poultry Plant

“He-He-Here ch-ch-ch-ch-chick ch-ch-chick!”

Directed by Frank Tash. (His first for Warner Bros.)  Released in 1936

At the titular plant, a rooster rousts everyone out of bed. Porky included. He sets to work taking care of his birds. (This scene becomes less precious when you remember WHY poultry is raised. Sorry for ruining your happiness.) He has many chickens, ducks and geese and they are very hungry. Porky satisfies their cravings by giving them corn. One chick just can’t fight the rush. Porky pretends to throw a huge handful, and gives it all to the chick. He’s even willing to charm some worms out of the ground for the other chicks. Yes, it seems like nothing could ever go wrong here.

But sadly, Porky has lost several good hens. One was taken in June of 1936. (The same year Tashlin started at W.B) Another was named Dorothy. (Like Tashlin’s wife.) It seems they were all the victims of a hawk. (Looks more like an eagle to me.) Said hawk is actually cruising overhead, looking for tasty morsels. Porky rings the alarm and all the birds take cover. After the predator leaves, one hen realizes one of her chicks is missing. Yes it appears that the hawk did make off with little (lets call him) Chippy. Rather than letting nature take its course, Porky gets in his airplane and goes after him. Seriously though, if the hawk got the mother, than ALL the chicks would die.  (Yes, I am glad Porky is so devoted to his birds.)

He manages to shoot off the buteo’s tail feathers and this causes it to call for reserves. Many hawks arrive and torture Porky by pulling his tail, and dropping eggs on him. (Uhhhhhh… That’s like a human… never mind. I’m not going there.) The battle goes into a cloud, where the birds get Porky’s gun away from him. They shoot and Porky goes down. All’s good though, he crashes into a windmill and gets a brand new propeller. Then for the best part: they start a game of football WITH the chick! (That is hilarious, cruel, and adorable all at once.) The rooster (Ted Pierce) narates everything.

After a few passes, one of the hawks fumbles. Porky gets Chippy back and expels some exhaust for the hawks to fly into. I don’t know if it kills them or knocks them out, but as they fall, the hens dig a hole for them to fall into, and bury them. So, they’re definitely dead now. Porky returns Chippy to his mother and all is well. OR IS IT? A shadow flies over the plant, sending the hen into hysterics. Porky readies his gun, but all IS well. The shadow belonged to the weather vane.

Personal Rating: 4