3 Private Snafu Shorts: The Goldbrick/The Home Front/Censored

And they’re all directed by Frank Tashlin! Hope you’re not sick of the guy yet. Don’t worry, we’ll be taking a break after this post.

 

“The Goldbrick” Released in 1943

“I do believe I’m putting on weight”

Snafu is sleeping when he is woken up. (What else would he be doing if he was woken up?) He is naturally unhappy about this, and wishes to not have to get up for drills. A sprite shows up named Goldie and he lets Snafu in on some secrets of avoiding work. Fake illness and you can spend a day in bed with a hot nurse by your side. (Who must suck at her job if she can’t tell he’s faking) When digging a trench, Goldie advises him to dig just enough for his head, and he’s earned a well deserved nap. Instead of pushing a load up a hill, have someone help while you sit on the load and push. Soon Snafu is lazy and out of shape. This comes back to bite him when he’s actually on the field. Deciding to goldbrick, he limps towards a convenient hospital. It’s a trap of course, and he ends up smashed by a hammer. He’s okay though and gets out. More trouble is out there, as an enemy tank chases him down. He digs a trench, but as he only knows to dig enough for his head, his rear sticks out and the tank crushes him. He’s dead. (Snafu dies quite a few times in his shorts) Goldie then reveals that he was really Japanese the whole time. (Remember: we were enemies. Japanese people do not look or sound like that.) But Snafu will be remembered, thanks to his 22 karat goldbrick grave.

“The Home Front” Released in 1943

“I didn’t know you cared.”

This short begins with Snafu in a very cold location. He complains because that’s what he does. He figures that all his loved ones are enjoying themselves back home. His dad is playing pool, his mom plays bridge and gossips and moonlights as a hen, (okay, maybe that’s just a joke) and his grandpa is being a pervert at a burlesque show. Worst of all, his sweet Sally Lou is no doubt dating someone else. (Isn’t that how women are? If you leave them, they replace you? I’m kidding) Out pops good ole’ Technical Fairy First Class. He has a tv and lets Snafu see how much fun his family is having. Turns out, that Snafu is the black sheep of the family, as the rest are working real hard. His dad’s building tanks, his mom’s planting a victory garden, and gramps is reinforcing battleships. And dear sweet Sally Lou? She joined the W.A.C.s. (I hope you feel like a dope Snafu) He tries to give her a kiss, but since she’s not really there, he kisses the fairy instead. (Hey, he lived. That’s rare.)

 

“Censored” Released in 1944

“Mail this for me!”

Snafu is trying to send the lovely Sally Lou a letter. (A wimpy, short, dumb, lazy, man gets a hot chick? It’s plausible. My cousin married someone very similar, just tall. And I can say that here, because they are never going to see it.) Only one things is preventing him from getting to the postbox. The censor. He/She/It catches Snafu and shreds his letter to nothing but “Greetings” and “Farewell.” On a train, Snafu tries again and this time folds it into a paper airplane. Tossing it at someone outside does not work, as the censor has a net. The note is returned to Snafu as paper dolls. On the ship to his next destination, he tries again with the help of a dove he has in his pants. (Not. One. Word.) The assisstant censor, (a hawk) catches the bird who points out it was not his plan. The letter is beaked this time. Snafu is getting desperate to talk to M.L. and luckliy for him his pal Technical Fairy First Class agrees to send it after Snafu tells him it’s safe. He and his girl use a code when speaking. The note delivers and Mary gets itttttt… I never thought i’d see this much skin in a Warner Bros. short. (Yes, I know these shorts were for the armed forces, but she’s not even wearing a bra.) Even though he’s asked her to keep quiet, she goes on to tell her mother who goes on to tell more people. Eventually the Japanese here of it too and prepare an ambush at Bingo Bango island, where the U.S. is heading to. Unaware of the dangers, Snafu and the others land only to get blown up. Turns out it was all a dream. (Three shorts today. 1 death, 1 live, and 1 both) Turns out T.F.F.C never sent the letter. Having learned his lesson, Snafu censors it himself.

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