Author: Dr. Foolio

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A-lad-in Bagdad

“Don’t ever dooo that!”

Supervision by Cal Howard and Cal Dalton; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Volney White; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on August 27, 1938.

In today’s short, Egghead is playing the role of Aladdin. Like most Aladdins, he’s one of those living on the street types. If he could just catch a break, he could be set for life. And just in front of him is a claw machine with some nice looking prizes on display. Al plays, and manages to get lucky on his first try. (Which is how you know this is fiction.) He thinks he’s just acquired a sugar bowl. Good thing the instructions are printed on the bottom.

After the rubs, he’s greeted by the genie of the lamp who lays down the rules: Aladdin gets anything he wants when he rubs the lamp. No limits. This delights the lad in Bagdad, but angers the guy who was playing the machine before him. An angry Arab that we will call Gephar. He’s always wanted that lamp so he could reclaim all the nickels he’s given the machine, and he’s going to follow Aladdin until he can nab it for himself.

Aladdin follows a crowd of people to a notice stating that the best entertainer will be allowed to wed the princess. (Because the best son-in-law is the kind that keeps you smiling.) Aladdin takes his magic carpet he just asked for to the palace and waits in line with the other schlubs who have no chance without genie wing men. They’re not entertaining enough, and the king lets them know with his trapdoor.

While Aladdin waits, Gephar secretly switches his regular lamp with a Foulger brand coffee pot™.  Let’s see if that will make a difference. When it’s Alladin’s turn, I’d like to say he’s got a good chance, seeing as the princess is clearly smitten with him. Too bad her father is the one making all decisions. (And I may not know much about any culture, but I swear she looks like she’s from another country entirely. Like Italy or Romania.) Aladdin does a catchy little musical number, (“Bei Mir Bist Du Schein”) but her father isn’t enjoying himself. Just let him reach for that trapdoor release…

WAIT! Aladdin has yet to play his trump card! Just let him give his lamp a quick rub. Oh. Guess he’s noticed the difference. (Does he look like he’s got two tongues to anybody else?) He’s ejected. When he peeks inside, he sees Gephar using HIS hard earned lamp to summon jewels so he can bribe his way into the father’s good graces. And it works, because personality means nothing; you gotta be able to provide. The sultan announces the wedding plans. (Losing his gloves and hair for brief seconds. A trait his daughter is able to replicate with her mouth.)

But Aladdin is willing to stand up for the truth. He runs in, punches the thief, gets his lamp back, and runs off with the girl. An angry mob follows, but the two interlopers are already flying off. Later, at wherever they decided to settle, the princess is willing like she got ripped off. (It’s called ‘love at first sight’, rather than ‘perpetual sight’ for a reason.) She gives the lamp a rub and the genie shows up looking like Robert Taylor now. She happily joins him in his lamp.

Favorite Part: Two of the performers the sultan sent down the hole continue to sing. He tries to shut them off with a gun. He gets one, but hilariously enough, the other guy keeps going. (Must be too dark to see his dead partner.)

Personal Rating: 3
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Porky’s Ant

“What I wouldn’t give to catch one of those old pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh- those midget ants.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Rudolph Larriva; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on May 10, 1941.

What is something you’d like to do? Pretend money is no object. Pretend you’re as fit as need be. Pretend you have not fears or worries about failing. What would you do? Me personally, I’d be traveling the world just to see different animals. Porky is in the midst of that, and I’m envious. He’s just waltzing around Africa with a silent guide reading a book about rare insects. (My dream…)

One such insect is known as the Pigmy Ant (Pgymy formicidae). A creature not named for its size, but because it has a habit of dressing like humans. They’re also worth $150,000.00. Sadly, Porky is more interested in the price than the creature. Luckily for him, one of these ants is following him and his guide. (I wish it was Inki. That’d be a fun cameo.) Pigmy ant hierarchies are determined by the size of the bone in their topknots. The bigger the bone, the more likely you are to score mates. As such, the little gal feels the guide’s bone is better because it’s bigger.

Small, though she may be, the guide can feel her tugging on his clothing. When he turns to look. He crashes into Porky, flinging supplies every which way. When Porky sees the ant, he confirms with the book on her species. Yep. She’s the one! She’s fast, too! She bolts for the safety of her hill before Porky can nab her. Time to do a little luring. Good thing Porky brought some chocolates with him. He sets a bonbon behind some flypaper, unaware that the ant could just walk around it. He throws it away, and it lands on his guide’s face.

The ant ducks under some growth and Porky reaches after, unaware of the slumbering lion within. He throws a lasso that the ant sticks around the cat’s paws and pulls it out. (Porky lifts.) He puts it back. Now he knows that ant’s game, but still doesn’t dare get near her when she returns to its protection. She taunts him, but doesn’t realize the lion gets up and leaves until Porky has crawled out of the bush and is nearing.

Back at the guide, he finds another lion. It chases him back to Porky and the two can do nothing more than hide. Good thing the ant doesn’t hate them. She uses the flypaper to trip the lion up, saving the two from his intestinal tract. Porky is grateful and offers her anything she wants that he can give. She gets her bone, and since she’s following them still, I think she’s decided to let Porky adopt her. (…My… dream…)

Favorite Part: The face Porky makes when he first sees the paw he’s reeled in. He was all prepared to be happy, but fate didn’t get her lines right.

Personal Rating: 2

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Behind the Meat-ball

“You’ve had this feeling before, haven’t you folks?”

Directed by (uncredited) Frank Tashlin; Story by Melvin Millar; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on April 7, 1945.

Fido is a dog, and like every dog I’ve ever known, obsesses about food. Seeing as he’s a proud member of Order carnivora, his dreams consist entirely of meat. (Notice how none of those visions are poultry or fish? Nice touch, guys. Being smart enough to not suggest your dog wants to eat something full of chokeable bones.) Dreams are about to become reality when his human calls him over for food.

Reality becomes a nightmare when he remembers that his human is one of those evil types who thinks because SHE’S vegetarian, so should her dog be. (Although this might just relate to my dog, but she’d be going crazy for those carrots.) He digs through his bowl to see if there’s anything he can stomach in there, and he happily locates a can of dog food at the bottom. (Because his human is one of those evil types who thinks letting her dog chew on a jagged piece of metal…)

Sadly, even this isn’t a solution as the ingredients are nothing but nutrients with no actual food contained. (Sorta like a reverse piece of candy.) It’s getting so bad that he’s starting to see pieces of the environment as pieces of delicious meat. When he sees an actual piece of meat fall out of a delivery truck, he chooses to not believe this time. But another dog takes the meat for himself, letting Fido know that yes, this one was the real deal.

He grabs a hold of the of the flesh, but since the little one (that is now called Rex) knew he’d never be able to win a tug-of-war, he hooked his end onto a telephone pole. Fido pulls hard, and gets a painful result once he finally wins the test of strength. And now a third contestant enters: a bulldog that I’m going to call Lassie. (Because she looks like a Lassie, okay?) Fido takes the meat and runs, but then does a really stupid thing: stops and taunts his pursuer. (You could’ve kept running. You could’ve eaten it while you had a chance. You could’ve made a decoy.)

He also tries to explain. Saying that the meat really IS his, but a small dog he never saw before took it from him. Lassie isn’t the understanding type, punches Fido and takes the meat back. In turn, Rex takes it from her. This leads to a chase, that leads to a tussle, that ends up with the meat inside Rex’s belly. Fido decides there is only viable option left: hitting himself and Lassie over the head and taking refuge in their dreams.

Favorite Part: Fido’s label for vegetables: “Bugs Bunny food.” (I’ve got to start doing that.)

Personal Rating: 3. And remember, it’s my two’s that equal mediocre.

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Well Worn Daffy

“I would walk a mile to punch a camel in the nose.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by David Detiege; Animation by Warren Batchelder, Bob Matz, LaVerne Harding, Norm McCabe, Don Williams, and Manny Perez; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Lee Gunther; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on May 22, 1965.

It’s a one of those hot days that deserts are known for. You can tell by how wildly the sun is pulsating. Speedy is in the midst of dying of thirst with a couple of pals, Pedro and Jose. Just as they are about ready to give up all hope, they spot a well with an oasis around it. Plenty of water there, but it’s off limits as the ones claiming it are Daffy and his camel. They don’t show any proof that they own the place, but they have a gun with them. That’s pretty realistic.

This situation is rather tortuous. Not helping it any is Daffy purposely wasting the water in front of the dehydrated mice. (And even if he was willing to share, that would mean trying to get a drop away from that camel. You seen the intake on those things?) Speedy comes up with a clever plan: he gets Daffy to chase him while the other two make a dash for the H2O. It works decently, but they didn ‘t count on the guard camel actually being in the well. Speedy decides to just try again, not giving any indication that the camel has even left the well by this point.

Well, guess the camel is gone or drowned by this point as Speedy gets a dipper full of the life juice. Daffy manages to succeed in stopping him though, by shooting the container. That is pretty dang impressive seeing as it’s Daffy. And no, the camel is still alive. Speedy learns this when the dromedary succeeds to keep the water from leaving with a trip wire. (I don’t like his laugh. It’s kinda unnerving. And yet, it kinda sounds like what I think a camel would sound like if it could laugh. Which makes it all the more disturbing.)

Okay, so carrying any water away doesn’t seem to have any chance of success. Speedy tries siphoning. He gets Daffy from the hose, who lets them have more gunshots. (Speedy looks so unnatural running away slow and lumbery. Is the lack of water finally taking its toll?) Daffy loads up with all the water he and Camel Joe can hold, and to make sure the mice die, he leaves explosives around the well. Speedy ties them to Joe’s tail and the two run for their lives, losing their water reserves in the process.

Finally allowed to drink, the mice grow swollen on the precious resource. A desperate duck and camel soon come calling, begging for the rodents to spare a drink. (The camel is clearly faking to spare Daffy’s feelings. His hump isn’t even sagging.) Proving that being the “bigger man” is always figurative, Speedy sprays him with the hose.

Favorite Part: Joe saying that Daffy gives him a headache. He doesn’t enjoy hanging around the mallard, but why give up all the free water that comes with the job?

Personal Rating: 2

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Peck up your Troubles

“*Frightened meow*”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Champin; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 20, 1945.

A little woodpecker has just moved into a tree and Sylvester isn’t far behind. Using a hair net and twigs for camouflage the cat makes it about halfway up the tree before he is spotted. The bird haphazardly slathers the tree with some grease, and the next thing you know, the whole thing is covered, sending Sylvester sliding back down. And chopping the tree down is not an option, so says the nearby bulldog. (I like that he doesn’t interact with the plot much. He couldn’t care less what Sylvester does, as long as the tree if left alone.)

Sylvester tries stilts. He really should’ve thought this one through, as they don’t last long against an animal that frequently pecks holes in wood. The branch he grabs onto has a a similar fate. Sylvester tries crossing on the telephone wires. The bird finds the control switch, and Sylvester pleads for it to not be touched. The woodpecker does some good baiting here with a little ‘all right’ shrug. Sylvester does his best to book it to safety, knowing the bird is going to go back on his word. He does, and we never see it. (Does this cartoon seem a bit dim to anyone else? Even Sylvester’s fur is more gray than white.)

The plan that gets Sylvester to the branch is the riding a kite one. (Who’s holding the other end?) He’s got the bird trapped in his own house, so said bird tries a trick he saw Bugs do once. It works flawlessly, and Sylvester thinks that the totaled tomato is pressed picidae. He’s not getting any sleep tonight, which means it’s time to move to phase two. The bird disguises himself as an angel (Naturally, “Angel in Disguise” is playing. Stalling never misses an opportunity.) The “angel” gives his murderer a gun in order to make things right, because that’s totally what angels do. Sylvester actually starts to go along with it before he sees through the charade. He even manages to get a few well deserved shots taken.

The next day Sylvester is right back at it, and tries to batter down the bird’s front door. He ends up getting stuck in another branch, and the woodpecker baits him again by really taking his time getting set to give him a good pin poking. Fed up, Sylvester wraps some dynamite around the tree before the dog reminds him that it isn’t a good idea. As the cat puts out the fuses, the bird relights them and once they are all exploded, there’s no sign of Sylvester. The bird points up, showing who really wears the angel getup in this relationship.

Favorite Part: Sylvester figuring out an easy way to get up to the branch: just climbing air as if it were stairs. Then flashing the motto by which all animator’s swear: “Anything is possible in a cartoon!”

Personal Rating: 3

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The Solid Tin Coyote

“One more try, you idiot.“

Directed by Rudy Larriva; Story by Don Jurwich; Animation by Hank Smith, Virgil Ross, and Bob Bransford; Layouts by Don Sheppard; Backgrounds by Anthony Rizzo; Film Editor: Joe Siracusa; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on February 29, 1966.

Glue has proven ineffective when hunting roadrunners. Now, tar is the real deal! Wile E slathers a good amount on the road, but that darn Roadrunner can run right through it without any slowing effects. Oh, but when Wile E. stands on the stuff, he has a hassle getting free. Only by pulling with all his might does he get out of the stuff on the street, and back in the stuff in the bucket. He has to hop away and they really take their time building up to the inevitable incoming vehicle that will run him down. (More time means less jokes they have to think up.)

After a falling off a cliff whilst setting up a mirror, (it probably wasn’t going to be all that funny anyway.) Wile E. lands in a dump. (The trash looking like it belongs in a different cartoon. Superimposed images, and all that.) This gives him a new and better idea. He grabs armloads of junk and sets to build his greatest, (if possibly not biggest) creation yet! (The title is lying to us. I saw him grab glass, porcelain, fabric and wood.) Presenting: a colossal robotic Canis latrans that can run without tiring. And it is conveniently controlled by a device that tells it what actions to perform. (And thankfully looking a lot better than what the title card promised.)

There’s just one teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy, speck of a crumb of a problem with it: the stop function doesn’t appear to actually function. (Not like Wile E. tried all that hard to get out of its way, though.) Still, it’s a brilliant piece of work! Being a robot means they can use that as an excuse for how choppy their animation can get. DARN THOSE-!  Oh, you know already. The hunt begins, and it still looks odd to me when the Roadrunner shows fear. Still, he manages stay free thanks to Wile E. using easy to misinterpret commands, and standing in improperly safe locations.

This calls for enhancements! Two fangs should do the trick! I… what. Odd. But even more odd? The bird gets caught! Yeah, I know! I feel like I’m lying through my fingers as I type! (Don’t mock fangs. They get results.) So he’s in the clutches of one of the coyotes; what will Wile E. do now? He tells the robot to eat of, course. Sure, why not? At best it will keep his prey detained, at worse it will grind the bird into paste that Wile E. will have to scrape off. Either way, that will spell the end of Wile E.’s need for the machine so it pops him in its mouth instead.

But the Roadrunner is still caught, right? No! It got away without any indication that it did! That’s really lazy storytelling, Don. The Roadrunner is also on the other side of a chasm, but Wile E. didn’t notice that until the machine was already running. Still without a working stop function, the two coyote’s fall into the pit. Back at square one, but the ending keeps them from getting back to step two.

Favorite Part: The Roadrunner being curious as to why Wile E. isn’t chasing him. Suggesting that he thinks this is all nothing more than a game that he’s dominating at.

Personal Rating: 2. It’s got the usual brand of mid-sixties problems, but I like seeing Wile E. having just one plan for the majority of the picture. It’s an interesting change of pace.

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Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips

“COME AND GET ME!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Gerry Chiniquy; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 22, 1944.

Before I get to a personal story before I get to today’s post, I just want to remind you that war is awful. You know that already, I’m aware. Still, I just want it said that during times of war, we say and do things that we will come to regret. Things that are hurtful and we should be ashamed of, but still be strong enough to admit these bad things happened and not hide from our past.

Before I get to today’s post; a personal story about me and this short. It was just another high school day, another U.S. history class and one difference: a student teacher. He was going to talk about wartime propaganda and said he was going to show us this particular cartoon as an example. I’m a pretty introverted, shy, slightly misanthropic individual, so you better believe it was a big deal that I blurted out: “You’re so cool!”

He never played the cartoon. He didn’t say he changed his mind, he didn’t claim he couldn’t find it, he didn’t leave after that day so he had more chances. He just never brought it up again and never showed any cartoons in its place. I don’t remember his name. I don’t remember his face. All I know is I made a mistake: I told a man he was cool, when he was not. And I’ll never be able to apologize to him for my mix-up. If that man is you, I offer my sincerest apologies and hope you didn’t wind up passing on any genes to any unsuspecting offspring. Now let’s get to what you actually are here to read about:

START OF THE POST RIGHT HERE! Bugs is afloat in a crate somewhere in the Pacific. When he spots land, he gleefully heads on over. He comments on the peaceful serenity that surrounds him before reality bites hard. WWII is still in swing and this island is already occupied by hurtful, incorrect Japanese stereotypes. And since Bugs isn’t drawn in such a disrespectful manner, he must be on an opposing side. Shame this must happen, but war is war (is hell).

Bugs manages to fool a man by dressing as a Japanese general. The bowing commences, but give Freleng’s crew a small point for showing that our adversaries aren’t brain dead imbeciles, as the one onscreen very quickly realizes that this general before him is really Bugs Bunny. He even reveals the charade is up by spouting off his own “What’s up, doc?” Bugs takes off in nearby plane with the soldier right behind. But Bugs is fast, and lands and ties a rope to the other plane, stripping it of most of its body. And because it is war, he gives the parachuting man an anvil, sealing his fate.

Bugs happily marks his victory on a tree when he sees his next foe: a sumo wrestler. (I admit, I admire Bugs responding by painting another victory tally. That is bass.) The wrestling match goes about as well as you would think. We in the future know that Bugs can never win these kind of things with his “muscles” alone. He must dress as a geisha in order to get the drop on the big guy. (Since Bugs already has buckteeth, it’s only a smidgen less insulting than the rest of the cartoon.)

Two down, how many more to go? A whole lot of them judging by the boats being unloaded on the island. A brilliant plan must be wielded to get Bugs out of this predicament. A plan involving ice cream! That’s actually perfect as everyone loves ice cream! So Bugs gives the people frozen treats with real grenade filling! I mean, he sells them the stuff because he’s going to purchase a war bond. That’s my attempt of making some light of this scene, as Bugs lays down some downright nasty insults to the poor guys. Isn’t taking their lives enough? A lot of families are about to be changed forever. (And poor Mel. While I have no doubt he regretted saying these lines, I would like to see a quote from him saying that.)

What’s done is done. Bugs has killed a minimum of 62 soldiers who were just pawns in this horrible game, same as him. I understand that he is trying to bolster morale for his country, but I wish he never had to in the first place. Well, at least he can relax now, right? A quiet, peaceful island to forget the atrocities of the world is what everyone secretly desires, right? Big wrong. Bugs hates tranquility! (I believe it. You seen the adventures he has on a yearly basis?) He’s ecstatic to find an American ship in the water and calls for their attention.

Then he sees another local: a fetching doe that doesn’t seem too harassed by Bugs enthusiastically running after her. The short ends and we can exhale in relief knowing that this was as bad as things got in Bugs’s theatrical career.

No! NOOOOOO!

*long heavy sigh* Some other month, perhaps.

Favorite Part: Bugs letting us know that he’s just waiting for the deserted island that will inevitably pop-up, because deserted island’s tend to pop-up in these kind of pictures. He’s that kind of savvy.

Personal Rating: 1. A few okay at best jokes can’t deliver enough merit for me to tell average viewers to hold their noses and muck their way through.

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A Hound for Trouble

“What are you anyway, a dog hater?”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Lloyd Vaughan, Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, Ben Washam, and John Carey; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 28, 1951.

It’s hard to be Charlie Dog. Everybody but me seems to despise him, and he’s just been thrown off a boat. (Not for the first time if the captain is to be believed.) He finds he’s been dumped off in Italy of all places. Beauty of that being that there is still a good number of people who could be potential masters. After all, Italians are humans and humans love dogs. (If you don’t, you’re doing a bang-up job of trying to keep your cover from being blown.)

Mama Mia! None of-a de locals capishe de English! It’s a good thing that love is a universal language. Still, English praise will be easier to catch. Charlie sets his sights on on restaurant named Pasquale’s Palazzia de Spagetini. I think the lone employee we see working there is Pasquale himself. He doesn’t give any indication that he can speak a lick of English, but Charlie has made his choice. I admire him choosing a bowl to be his own. Now for the test: showing how lovable and cuddly he is.

Test failed. Although Pasquale is fairly kind in telling the dog to leave. Even if he said yes though, it would be best if Charlie wasn’t inside as Pasquale is leaving for a fifteen minute break. (Those are the best when they’re twice as long.) Then again, staying outside won’t give Charlie a great opportunity to show the guy what a great choice it would be to have an animal in the kitchen amongst the food and utensils that will be entering people’s mouths.

Charlie is now in the kitchen. (A young Brad Bird takes notes.) And just now entering is a customer ready for a feast. He orders… oh boy, here we go. He orders: na bella piatta del una cacciatore di tetrazzini cu ragu di marinara di la piazza rigotini mozzarella fina without onions. (Thank you, Wikipedia.) And I’m pretty sure that translates to a grilled cheese sandwich without onions. They don’t have that. The man settles for spaghett. Charlie serves it to him via spool, and makes sure he doesn’t eat an inch more than he’s paying for. Time for a bit of wine to wash it all down. The man leaves with whatever lunch he can keep down after seeing Charlie stomp the grapes.

Pasquale returns and is not pleased to find his customers being scared away. But Charlie has a surefire way to stay: he’s a singer! You will believe he can find a home after hearing his rendition of “Atsa matta for you?” Pasquale certainly seems convinced as he gives in and agrees to adopt the poor baby. Now, isn’t that touching? No wonder this is Charlie’s final appearance; he’s about to achieve his dream come true! But wait! That leaning tower located in Pisa is going to fall over and crush their little home! Charlie proves he’s the smarter of the two and tries to away from danger, but Pasquale makes him hold the tower while he goes for help. (Seeing as he’s bilingual and all.)

We end with Pasquale happy in his kitchen, no intent of ever going back and Charlie desperately calling for anyone to help; his pleas falling on deaf ears as they only speak Italian. That’s just cruel, Pasquale. (Mostro malvagio. Spero che tu marcisca all’inferno, lentamente.)

Favorite Part: Charlie not only can repeat the original order flawlessly, but he sticks his tongue out at all of us who doubted he could do it. How can anyone not love this dog?

Personal Rating: 3. But I give it a four for myself.

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Tree for Two

“I gotta job to do!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, and Manuel Perez; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 4, 1952.

Best be on the look out ladies and gents, the newspapers say that a panther is on the loose. I’m not a newspaper and I say that a leopard is on the loose. Panther is a term that people who can’t be bothered to read up on big cats use. Regardless of what you call it, this is a potentially dangerous animal that is roaming the streets and you’d be smart to use caution out of doors. The poor thing is lost, confused and scared and when animals feel that: they maul.

Enter Spike and Chester. (The latter making his debut here.) Chester is the hero-worshipper type and his hero is Spike. He suggests many typical dog activities and each suggestion gets him a negative answer and smack across the face. Chester saves his best suggestion for last: beating up on a cat. (I love how he still braces himself for another smack. Don’t let yourself be a hero-worshipper. Even the decent people will get sick of you.) Finally, something that piques Spike’s interest. Chester leads him to where a cat is located.

Their cat of choice is Sylvester. He was just minding his own business, singing and enjoying life. (He’s good at it too! If “Back Alley Oproar” didn’t convince you of his singing prowess, watch it again. It’s a wonderful short.) And that gets him hounded by hounds. He takes refuge in an alley with the two right outside. Spike keeps Chester out while he partakes in all the fun. Once inside he pulls on his prey’s tail. Only not really. That is a leopard tail, and Sylvester is hiding in a trash can. (Confused, but not stupid enough to point out there’s a mix-up.) That tail isn’t coming undone, so Spike follows it. He leaves quite shaken up. (On the bright side, it doesn’t look like he was harmed too physically.)

Chester takes a peek to see this “big” cat, but only sees Sylvester checking if the coast is clear. Chester offers to take care of the cat, but Spike’s pride ain’t having it. He goes back in to really give it to ‘im. The same thing happens, but Spike definitely took a beating this time. Chester still can’t accept this. (It constantly causes his whiskers to disappear in shock.) Chester shows that even a little dog like himself can pound the puss and fling him back to whence he came, so surely a bigger, stronger, (prick-ier) dog can do it. Spike’s resolve is restored.

Spike enters the alley again, and without a hiding place, Sylvester can’t do much more but claw blindly at the air. Amused, Spike lets him give his best shot. With both of them having their eyes obscured, neither one sees the leopard clawing the mutt to bits for daring to pick on his distant relative. Spike is horrified, and flees. Sylvester can’t believe what he’s seeing, but he seems to be seeing it. There must be more power in his paw than he ever imagined. Now feeling strong as a leopard, he comes after the two dogs himself. They’re going to get the claw and leave him alone from now on!

Chester isn’t convinced and once more beats and flings. (Stan Freberg, you are knocking it out of the park with this performance. Really wish you got to star alongside Mel more often.) So in the end, Chester is considered the tough one and he gets to bully and smack the hero-worshipping Spike, the leopard was eventually found and returned to the zoo which was given a good amount of funds to renovate the place and make it so the animals were happy in captivity, and though Sylvester got beaten up, he was known in all the cat circles as the one who turned the feared Spike into a groveling kiss-ass.

Favorite Part: The smile on Chester’s face when Spike tells him he can go get himself killed. It’s the same look we’ve all had when someone allowed us to do something dangerous, and we were about to prove them wrong. (Though not every one of us came out like Chester…)

Personal Rating: 3. But even if it’s successor got the same score, this one is better. I find the ending makes a lot more sense with everyone still unclear about what really went down. Makes Chester’s promotion make more sense.

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Assault and Peppered

“You’ve got to use brains when you fight a war.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Manny Perez, Warren Batchelder, Bob Matz, LaVerne Harding, Norm McCabe, and Don Williams; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Lee Gunther; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Merrie Melody released on April 24, 1965.

Daffy is the owner El Rancho Rio Daffy. Watch in awe as I use the half-year of Spanish I took in middle school to deduce that stands for… The Daffy River Ranch. (Don’t correct me if wrong.) He must have a lot of food on that property, but with only him, it’s not being enjoyed to the fullest. That’s what the starving mice on the border are thinking, anyway. Daffy is angry to see them, because starving on his property lowers the value. He even goes so far as to whip the little guys. (A little too cruel for my tastes.)

They threaten to call Speedy, but Daffy dismisses the hero as a myth. One “yee-ha” later he is angrily challenging the mouse to a duel. A duel of the highest caliber, with forts and cannons. Speedy agrees and we cut to months later with the forts now finished being built. (What? You think Daffy just had those ready made to challenge anybody he dislikes? Clearly, you don’t know Daffy like I do. He’s nothing but pleasantries and lemonade when he’s got everything he wants.)

Daffy fires his cannon and Speedy hurriedly moves everything in its path out of its way. With a clear path, the thing continues along its way until it returns to Daffy’s face. (Speedy makes a lot of noise without actually moving his mouth in this picture. Darn those mid-sixties budgets!) Daffy also plants a mine field, keeping careful track of where each one is buried. Speedy takes the cheat sheet, leaving the duck stranded (Even though it’s way too obvious where they are! Did you not make every mound of dirt on screen?)

Speedy is happy to help him navigate back, listing each mine as Daffy steps on it. (“What do you mean you don’t know where they are? You haven’t missed one yet!” Love that line.) Wait, listen to the sound effect of Daffy falling over. That’s the sound of a fast character arriving on the scene with a short stop! DARN THOSE MID-SIXTIES BUDGETS!) Speedy decides he’s tired and hungry, so he surrenders so he can eat. Daffy can’t believe his good fortune, and pokes the fourth wall by mentioning how he usually gets the losing end of these type of skirmishes.

Daffy decides to celebrate with a 21-gun salute, er cannon salute. When he pulls on the lines, the cannons all turn to him and fire, Speedy gleefully counting each one off.

Favorite Part: Learning Daffy’s full name this time: Don Daffy De La Scrooge Del Meanie Toturro De La Quack… Junior. (Pray you never meet Don Daffy De La Scrooge Del Meanie Toturro De La Quack… Senior.)

Personal Rating: 2