The Foxy Duckling

“I gotta get a duck! I gotta get a duck! I gotta get a duck!”

Directed by Arthur Davis; Animation by J.C. Melendez, Manny Gould, and Don Williams; Layouts by Thomas McKimson; Backgrounds by Phil DeGuard. A Merrie Melody released on August 23, 1947.\

Night is probably my favorite time of day. Things are still and quiet, soothing and peaceful. Perfect for slipping into sleep and forgetting your troubles in the blissful state of unconsciousness. The only problem is when insomnia rears its ugly head. Such is the fate of poor A. Fox. (A for Adam) He can’t, and I mean can’t, sleep. He’s tried near everything too. Boxes of sleeping pills litter the floor, there’s a whole bucket of milk, and he’s tried every possible sleeping position. Even clamping his eyes shut don’t make a difference.

Falling out of bed causes one of his insomnia books to land on his face. I guess he didn’t read this one much, as it states a solution he never thought to try: a pillow full of duck down. (His is full of various metals. Not comfortable, but… actually, I can’t think of a “but” after that.) Well, if that’s what’ll help, the only solution is to get a duck. So he heads out with a mallet. (I like that he isn’t just hunting for some food. There’s already so many cartoons like that)

He finds a duckling and readies his weapon. (It’s interesting that Daffy was not used in this picture. Not bad, just interesting.) He takes a little too long to swing, so the duckling escapes to a lake. Adam follows, but is reminded that he can’t swim. (Despite the fact he should be able to, and adult ducks also have down. There you go. The two animal facts I’ll teach you today.) He tries some tricks. Blowing a duck call gets him shot by hunters, and when he throws an anvil from a boat, the bird just drags him into the firing line. (It frightens the fish, so I guess he won’t be sleeping with them either.)

Maybe this swimming thing could work. All he needs is a flotation device, and a diving board. (With all that preparation, the duck has plenty of time to aim the board towards a tree) Okay, maybe the heavy object trick could work if one was to throw it from a tree. (Since their is a rope tied to the thing, I guess it was an anchor) Duckling ties the rope to Adam’s leg, but the fox is smart enough to cut the rope. (But dumb enough to keep holding it afterwards)

The duckling climbs a strangely placed mountain, (When God gets drunk, he just places them any old place) and when Adam catches up, the duckling flies over the edge, just out of reach. (I’d tell you that the bird hasn’t yet grown the feathers for that, but I’ve already given you your two facts. Don’t be greedy.) Our fox isn’t going to have that, and begins nailing many planks together to catch up to the fowl. Once he’s out a ways, the bird saws through most of his work. It’s just barely hanging on, and Adam freezes in place to not upset it further.

Sadistic duckling that he is, the little guy plucks out a single feather, (his feet flash yellow) and lets it drops on the frightened fox. (The tension is wonderful here!) No fake outs either; once the feather makes contact with the fox, his structure collapses and he falls to his death. You’d think that now he’d be able to rest. (In peace) But forget that! Being an angel means he has wings of his own! And he’s going to use them to chase that duckling! Iris out.

Favorite part: It’s small, but a great touch. When the duckling walks around in the air with his wing/hands behind his back, he still flaps them to keep aloft. Being a cartoon, nobody would have to animate that and everyone could just accept it. But they did. I’m very proud of them.

Saps in Chaps

“Go west, young man!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Sgt. Dave Monahan; Animation by Manuel Perez; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on April 11, 1942.

What a time it was expanding the west! There was so much untapped land just waiting to be claimed. (I’m pretty sure there weren’t already PLENTY of people living there, otherwise I’d feel guilty for living where I do.) Things were plenty different back then. Not only were the states in more irregular shapes, but every president on Mt. Rushmore was still a baby.

Not everybody had the luxury of crossing via covered wagon. A few had to make do with crawling desperately through the desert. It was dangerous too! Hungry vultures kept their eyes peeled for any living being that couldn’t cope with the heat. Luckily for the guy we’re following, he comes across a fill-up station that is happy to supply him with water. (His thirst may be quenched, but he is still stuck crawling the rest of the way.)

Towns seemed to grow like fungi, and the people who populated them all walked with a dumb cowboy gait. Even the horses. Even the mice! (When they aren’t being hunted by lasso twirling cats, that is.) At a nearby saloon, you could not only escape the midday heat, but converse with other people. You had to watch out though. Villain types came in rather frequently, and you were pretty much dead unless you were the hero type. (The one who can laugh off gun shots. I wish I could be so bass)

Entertainment? Sure, rodeos exist. Where the men show off how tough they are by riding animals that DO NOT want to be mounted. One of which in particular throws everyone out of its pen. Still, as tough as he is, he can’t cope with an audience, and quietly slinks away to get his much needed privacy. Oh! I nearly forgot! Mail was delivered via pony express in those days, but that doesn’t mean everyone was suited for the job. What to do if you just can’t mount the horse? Simple. Let HIM ride YOU. (It’s good for the back)

Favorite part: During the rodeo, one horse is told that he can’t throw off his rider. He bluntly grabs the man and throws him down. (Sticking his tongue out at the narrator)

Porky’s Hired Hand

“Yuh can depend on me!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Richard Bickenbach; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 30, 1940.

Porky’s farm has seen better days. Lately, a fox has been stealing a good number of hens, and Porky has had enough of the robbery. Good thing that the Cornstalk Employment Agency has sent him some assistance. Gregory Grunt. He looks like Goofy got hit by a severe case of swine flu. And if I’m allowed to judge by appearances, (which I totally am) he doesn’t really look like the best man for any job. I’m guessing the agency was just sick of him and wanted to make the guy somebody else’s problem. Porky’s a better man than I’ll ever be, and gives the lunkhead a chance.

Despite the very clear instructions of “do not fall asleep”, Gregory does just that. Enter the fox. He’s got some clothing, so it’s not like he’s just a wild animal trying to find an easier solution, he’s just some random a-hole who would rather steal than work. (And he dies if he crosses my path. Nobody messes with my pal) With the guard asleep, the fox helps himself to the choicest morsels. He’s even willing to take babies! (Dipsh*t! If you don’t leave anything to repopulate your theft, you won’t be able to return next year. And then where will you be?) He’s all ready to leave, but someone bars his path: Gregory?

Well, it appears I have to eat my words! (Good thing I write so tastefully) Looks like Greg was just pretending to sleep in case the fox was stupid enough to come back. (Thieves should really never hit the same joint twice.) Of course, the other possibility is that the fox just woke him up. (So that means I can upchuck my eaten words) Told to put the birds back, the fox laments that the two of them can’t be partners. I mean, clearly Gregory is a master businessman who could help make a chicken monopoly. Yeah, Gregory is all for it, but what about Porky?

And there’s a random fade out to what seems like half a second later, but the fox knows Gregory’s name by now, so I have no clue what we missed. Either way, he convinces Greg that Porky would WANT him to succeed and stealing from him is a good start. (That’s what I did while working at my local zoo. Strangely, no one wanted to come see penguins in my backyard, and now I’m out of goldfish) Give the fox some credit, he’s even willing to let Gregory’s name go first in their company’s name. (That explains why I haven’t given the fox a name. According to himself, his name IS Fox. I guess his last name is Mc Loud. I mean, he DID wake Mr. Grunt)

Telling his new partner to grab some feed, Fox makes an exit. It was a scam all along! (You know, going into business might still be a good idea. Just some chicken for thought) In his rush to escape, Fox didn’t look where he was going. It wasn’t the exit he left through, but the incubator! He fears for his life as he is no doubt going to roast! (The birds he has don’t seem to mind. They’re not even moving…oops. That’s going to set Porky back a bit) Being a nice enough, dumb guy, Gregory tries to help his partner get out. Unfortunately, his head isn’t hard enough to break the door down.

Still, his banging does alert Porky to all this, and he brings his gun down to investigate. Maybe Gregory IS a little smart, because he refrains from explaining his “business partner” is trapped, and refers to him as a fox once more. Giving him the gun, Porky instructs him to shoot as soon as the door is open. He does, but they didn’t get the fox. Seems he was aiming a bit too high. Being in the incubator so long, Fox has shrunk. (His tail didn’t though. And I’m sure it would fetch a decent price. Heh heh heh!)

Favorite part: Fox is describing the things that Gregory will obtain from this partnership. Including a secretary to sit on his lap.

Fresh Airdale

“Good old Shep.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ben Washam, Lloyd Vaughan and Ken Harris; Music Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on August 25, 1945.

What a crummy Halloween. As per the usual, I dressed as Porky and nobody knew who I was. Their guesses ranged from one of Disney’s three little pigs, to Patch Adams. (I’m not joking.) Nothing I ever do gets appreciated.

Cʜᴇᴇʀ ᴜᴘ, ᴅᴀᴅ.

Are you still here? I thought I threw you into my pile of failed experiments, that include my Youtube channel and Deviantart account.

Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ɢᴇᴛs ɴᴏ ʀᴇᴄᴏɢɴɪᴛɪᴏɴ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.

I suppose you are right. Today’s short is a perfect example of that.

As anyone who has talked to me for at least four sentences knows, I think rather highly of dogs, and not at all of cats. Dogs are loyal, cute, lovable, silly, smell nice, have a good sense of smell, and love everyone. Cats… well, they probably taste good. I’m sorry, but I’ve never got the appeal for those things. I don’t think they are cute, they stink worse than any animal I’ve encountered, (and I’ve worked at a zoo before.) they’re the only animals that gross me out (hairballs.) and they killed my fish.

This short is like something I would have directed. A man has two pets: Shep the dog, and a cat who doesn’t deserve a name. So we’ll call him: Boy.

I’ᴅ ᴄʀʏ ɪꜰ ᴛʜɪs ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴅᴀɪʟʏ ʙᴀsɪs.

As I was saying, this man knows how things should work. Shep is given a large piece of tasty meat, while the cat has to make do with a fish skeleton. But that is not enough to fill Shep’s belly, and he steals the man’s dinner too. Boy saw this, and tries to show compassion by giving up his skeleton. The man is not pleased to see this, figuring the cat stole from him. (He definitely would have, in the meantime, he put a bacteria laden corpse on his plate) He throws the useless thing (the cat. the bones could fertilize) outside. (Seriously though, why does he keep the thing if he is just going to berate it? Does he just like having something to punch?)

Shep proves he is the better animal, by offering up his beaten up bone. The man is so moved by this, he gives his faithful dog another piece of meat. Shep is too full for some reason, and tosses this second dinner outside. Boy, now in possession of the meat, tries to return it. (He has some kind of collar. And I thought “The Hep Cat” was the only short where a feline had clothing shaped anatomy.) The man rightfully gets angry, and assumes the cat only is returning the meat out of guilt. (Which he definitely  would have, in the meantime, he is trying to feed his owner some meat that touched the filthy ground.) Before the cat can get another deserved kick, Shep defends him. Proving that he is a better animal. Because of this show of kindness, the man relents. Boy thanks his savior, and is kicked away. (Stupid cat. You live with this dog. You should have known that he doesn’t like touching.)

When the master leaves the house, Shep is the one who guards the place. But since he is such a friendly guy, he allows the suspicious type to try and break in. (Provided that the price is right) Boy notices this, and attacks the trespasser. The worthless creature gets knocked out in the scuffle, so Shep decides it is up to him to have the credit. He puts the cat in a garbage can to rest (where he belongs) and makes it look like he did it all. Shep is now lauded as a hero.

He enjoys his glory, but there is one small hiccup: there is another dog in the paper. And he is the no. 1 dog! (Originally, he was supposed to be FDR’s dog, but then the man went and died right as this short was going to be released, and it just didn’t seem like it would be in very good taste) Shep can’t have that, and he heads for (probably still) D.C. to cement his position. Boy follows, no doubt trying to ruin the poor dog’s already hard life.

Upon arriving, Shep tries to get rid of not Fala. (That’s just dogs being dogs) Boy ruins his plans, and sends the canine tumbling into a lake. Shep can’t swim, so the Scottish Terrier comes to his rescue. But since Shep is a much bigger dog, the little one passes out upon reaching the shore. Shep wakes up first, and makes it look like HE is the one who saved the day. Shep is now the most popular creature in the world! Doing interviews and getting parades! And Boy has to watch it all. Even getting some mud in the face. Serves him right.

Lights Fantastic

“It’s Swell!!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Sgt. Dave Monahan; Animation by Gil Turner; Musical Supervision by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on May 23, 1942.

Light is pretty fantastic stuff. I don’t mean the natural kind you can get from the sun. (That stuff causes cancer!) I mean the artificial kind that people use to give nature the finger, and turn night into diet day. And apart from Vegas, I’d say the best place to experience such a marvel, is New York City. What types of gags might we find just marveling at billboards?

One ad is typed out to us as if on a typewriter. But whoever is in charge of things, sure as heck can’t spell “stewpendaus.” And while you’re enjoying the sights that are lights, why not take a trip to Chinatown? (The bus is built like a rickshaw. At least it’s not as racially insensitive as it could have been.) One ad gives a free sample of what it’s promoting: an eye test! Being able to read the first line means you’re average. (Crap. I can make it out, but I can’t read that mess. Guess I need new contacts.) The next one means “above average” and the one below that is “exceptional!” And if you can read the bottom one, you clearly are a foreigner. (Who would bother to learn another language?)

What would a “Merrie Melody” be without a song number? (Still entertaining.) The ads come to life to serenade us. The featured song is “My High Polished Nose.” (“My Wild Irish Rose”) Next on the playbill: “Laugh, Clown, Laugh” performed by the mascot of Clown cakes and cookies. And as many can jokes as they can make! Coffee cans doing the can-can, while frequently showing off their cans! (Can there be anymore? It just can’t be! So I better can it, lest I get canned.)

One ad tries too hard. It tries to grab your attention with as much neon as they can afford. All for a tiny “Eat at Joe’s” message. (Freleng would use a similar gag in “Holiday for Shoestrings.” (Even using the same music piece.) And since this wasn’t the most story driven short, what better way to end it than with a music party? The dripping of coffee, the shaking of peanuts, and the dinging of a cowbell make an irresistible beat that has the rest of the ads dancing. Ending up with the same shot we began with. (What a bright idea.)

 

Horton hatches the Egg

“I’m still on vacation.”

Supervised by Robert Clampett; Animation by Robert McKimson. A Merrie Melody released on April 11, 1942.

Yep! This short is the only Looney Tune that is adapting someone else’s property. Clampett’s wild animation style mixed with Seuss’s wild imagination? What a combination! Since you no doubt know the story, I’m just going to have Boy read it out loud, while I make comments about the story as well as changes in the short. Take it away!

Sɪɢʜᴇᴅ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ, ᴀ ʟᴀᴢʏ ʙɪʀᴅ ʜᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀɴ ᴇɢɢ: “I’ᴍ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴠᴇ ᴋɪɴᴋs ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʟᴇɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ, ᴊᴜsᴛ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ. Iᴛ’s ᴡᴏʀᴋ! Hᴏᴡ I ʜᴀᴛᴇ ɪᴛ! I’ᴅ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴘʟᴀʏ! I’ᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ꜰʟʏ ᴏꜰꜰ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ʀᴇsᴛ ɪꜰ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪɴᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʏ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ɴᴇsᴛ! Iꜰ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰɪɴᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ, I’ᴅ ꜰʟʏ ᴀᴡᴀʏ-ꜰʀᴇᴇ….”

The first difference is that Clampett added much more color. The book has much more black and white with a green sky. Speaking of the book, Clampett and his crew didn’t even use storyboards when making this short. They just scribbled notes in Clampett’s copy of the book. Perhaps their work on this is what inspired Seuss to help with Snafu?

But really, is Mayzie so lazy that sitting on her can, is too much work? I know one has to tip the egg constantly to keep it warm on all sides and keep the chick from sticking to one part of the egg, but is it really work?

Tʜᴇɴ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ, ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ, ᴘᴀssᴇᴅ ʙʏ ʜᴇʀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ.
“Hᴇʟʟᴏ!” ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴢʏ ʙɪʀᴅ, sᴍɪʟɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴇsᴛ, “Yᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ʀᴇsᴛ. Wᴏᴜʟᴅ YOU ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ɴᴇsᴛ?”

In the short, Horton is pink. Because it’s Clampett, d*mn it! Nothing is too crazy for this man. And instead of Blanc, we have Kent Rogers who I’ve mentioned was also the voice for “The Bashful Buzzard,” Beaky. The somewhat slow and dopey voice suits Horton. It’s how I’ve always pictured him talking.

Tʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ. “Wʜʏ, ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ sɪʟʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢs! I ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴀɴᴅ I ʜᴀᴠᴇɴ’ᴛ ᴡɪɴɢs. ME ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢɢ? Wʜʏ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ sᴇɴsᴇ…. ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢɢ ɪs sᴏ ᴍᴀʟʟ, ᴍᴀ’ᴀᴍ, ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ sᴏ ɪᴍᴍᴇɴsᴇ!”
“Tᴜᴛ, ᴛᴜᴛ,” ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀᴇᴅ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ. “I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ sᴍᴀʟʟ ʙᴜᴛ I’ᴍ sᴜʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ. Nᴏ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. Jᴜsᴛ sɪᴛ ᴏɴ ɪᴛ sᴏꜰᴛʟʏ. Yᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ɢᴇɴᴛʟᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪɴᴅ. Cᴏᴍᴇ, ʙᴇ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜰᴇʟʟᴏᴡ. I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ.”
“I ᴄᴀɴ’ᴛ,” sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘᴀʜɴᴛ. “PL-E-E-ASE!” ʙᴇɢɢᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ. “I ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ɢᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏɴɢ, sɪʀ. I ɢɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. I’ʟʟ ʜᴜʀʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ. Wʜʏ, I’ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ….”

Horton takes a little more convincing in the book. Not much, but he doesn’t say he can’t in the short. And as for not having wings, I’m not sure that’s a valid argument. Ever look at the way Seuss draws elephant ears? They look an awful lot like what angels use to fly.

“Vᴇʀʏ ᴡᴇʟʟ,” sᴀɪᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ, “sɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴsɪsᴛ….
Yᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴀ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. Gᴏ ꜰʟʏ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ. I’ʟʟ sɪᴛ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢɢ ᴀɴᴅ I’ʟʟ ᴛʀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ɪᴛ. I’ʟʟ sᴛᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇ ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ. I ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀʏ.”
“Tᴏᴏᴅʟᴇ-ᴏᴏ!” sᴀɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰʟᴜᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀᴡᴀʏ.

So who was the father of this egg? Many birds stay together to raise it, but the male must be worst than Mayzie. She at least bothered to make sure the egg wouldn’t die without her. Unless he was the better parent, and just happened to be eaten by the cat in the hat.

“H-ᴍ-ᴍ-ᴍ… ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ,” ᴍᴜʀᴍᴜʀᴇᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ, “Lᴇᴛ’s sᴇᴇ…. Tʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ɪs ᴛᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴘ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜɪs ᴛʀᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ sᴛʀᴏɴɢᴇʀ. Tʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀs ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ I ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴ ɪᴛ. I ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴡᴇɪɢʜ ᴀ ᴛᴏɴ.”

I like the fact that Seuss decided to explain how the tree won’t snap under an elephant’s weight, but not explaining how the elephant wasn’t crushing the egg? That wasn’t as important. This part gets no mention in the short. The tree just gets propped without explanation. And Horton only weighs about a ton? How old is he? Judging by the lack of tusks, he must be pretty young, but I always figured he was full grown. If he is, he is way malnourished!

Tʜᴇɴ ᴄᴀʀᴇꜰᴜʟʟʏ, ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀʟʏ, ɢᴇɴᴛʟʏ ʜᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴘᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʀᴜɴᴋ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇsᴛ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴇɢɢ sʟᴇᴘᴛ.

As far as I know, unhatched chicks don’t wake in their eggs. So, yes. Slept is the right term.

Tʜᴇɴ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sᴍɪʟᴇᴅ. “Nᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴛʜᴀᴛ….”
Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ….

And what did he do for food? Did he just eat all the plants surrounding him? And what about defecation? Did he ever stop sitting so he wouldn’t soil the egg? These are the kind of questions I ponder.

Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ ʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴡᴀʀᴍ…. Aɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀ ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟᴇ sᴛᴏʀᴍ. Iᴛ ᴘᴏᴜʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ʟɪɢʜɴɪɴɢᴇᴅ! Iᴛ ᴛʜᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴇᴅ! Iᴛ ʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇᴅ! “Tʜɪs ɪsɴ’ᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴜɴ,” ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏᴏʀ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ɢʀᴜᴍʙʟᴇᴅ. “I ᴡɪsʜ sʜᴇ’ᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ‘ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ I’ᴍ ᴄᴏʟᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I’ᴍ ᴡᴇᴛ. I ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ.”

I understand you’re upset Horton, but wouldn’t you be wet no matter where you went? You’re not exactly small enough to hide under much. And are you really that cold? I figured you were in a jungle of some sort. The short has some fun with this scene. The whole place floods and only the tip of his trunk shows. (The egg is doing fine while submerged.)

Bᴜᴛ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ, ʙʏ ᴛʜɪs ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴡᴀs ꜰᴀʀ ʙᴇʏᴏɴᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ, ᴇɴᴊᴏʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴜɴsʜɪɴᴇ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏꜰꜰ ɪɴ Pᴀʟᴍ Bᴇᴀᴄʜ, ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ sᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴜɴ, sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀꜰᴜʟ ʀᴇsᴛ, ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ sʜᴇ’ᴅ NEVER ɢᴏ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ ɴᴇsᴛ!

“Far beyond reach?” How fast was she flying? She only left earlier in the day. And for those of you who have the book, look at this page. Why is that one guy staring at her? Has he never seen a bird before? Or is he like me and just amazed to see such an animal out of its natural habitat?

Sᴏ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ. Aɴᴅ sᴏᴏɴ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs Aᴜᴛᴜᴍɴ. Tʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇs ʙʟᴇᴡ ᴀᴡᴀʏ. Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ Wɪɴᴛᴇʀ… ᴛʜᴇ sɴᴏᴡ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ sʟᴇᴇᴛ! Aɴᴅ ɪᴄɪᴄʟᴇs ʜᴜɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜɪs ᴛʀᴜɴᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜɪs ꜰᴇᴇᴛ.
Bᴜᴛ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴋᴇᴘᴛ sɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ, ᴀɴᴅ sᴀɪᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sɴᴇᴇᴢᴇ, “I’ʟʟ sᴛᴀʏ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ᴇɢɢ ᴀɴᴅ I ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ꜰʀᴇᴇᴢᴇ. I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ…. Aɴ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

Okay, I guess it wasn’t a jungle then. In the short, Horton at least gets a cute pair of earmuffs for this part. As for the book, the tree has switched sides and now leans to the left.

Sᴏ ᴘᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴡɪɴᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ…. Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘʀɪɴɢᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ᴀɴᴇᴡ! Hɪs ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅs ɢᴀᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴅ ʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sʜᴏᴜʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɢʟᴇᴇ.

One of these friends may look familiar. It’s Rosebud the mouse, who we last saw in “Farm Frolics”. Making his only other appearance here. Another of his friends is a kangaroo who has joey that has another joey in its pouch. Strange.

“Lᴏᴏᴋ! Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ!” Tʜᴇʏ ᴛᴀᴜɴᴛᴇᴅ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴛᴇᴀsᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ. Tʜᴇʏ ʏᴇʟʟᴇᴅ, “Hᴏᴡ ᴀʙsᴜʀᴅ!” “Oʟᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋs ʜᴇ’s ᴀ ʙɪʀᴅ!”

And I guess they didn’t give him a chance to explain himself. Maybe once they learned of his predicament, they’d help out. At least try and find Mayzie.

Tʜᴇʏ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ. Tʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟʟ ʀᴀɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ. Aɴᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴡᴀs ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ. Hᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ. Bᴜᴛ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ: “I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡᴀʜᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ…. Aɴᴅ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!

I suppose it isn’t really specified, but it sounds like Horton wants to play with these animals who are dicks. Surely you can make some better friends, man.

“Nᴏ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ WHAT ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs, ᴛʜɪs ᴇɢɢ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ!” Bᴜᴛ ᴘᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ’s ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟᴇs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜰᴀʀ, ꜰᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴇɴᴅᴇᴅ. Fᴏʀ, ᴡʜɪʟᴇ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ sᴏ ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ, sᴏ ᴋɪɴᴅ, ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀs ᴄᴀᴍᴇ sɴᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴜᴘ sᴏꜰᴛʟʏ ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ!

Clampett has fun with the hunters designs. Each one looks different than the others.

Hᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ’s ꜰᴏᴏᴛsᴛᴇᴘs! Hᴇ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sᴛᴀʀᴛ! Tʜʀᴇᴇ ʀɪꜰʟᴇs ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀɪᴍɪɴɢ ʀɪɢʜᴛ sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀᴛ ʜɪs ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ!

And in the animated world, heart apparently means rump.

Dɪᴅ ʜᴇ ʀᴜɴ? Hᴇ ᴅɪᴅ ɴᴏᴛ! HORTON STAYED ON THAT NEST! Hᴇ ʜᴇʟᴅ ʜɪs ʜᴇᴀᴅ ʜɪɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴡ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜɪs ᴄʜᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴜɴᴛᴇʀs ᴀs ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀs ᴛᴏ sᴀʏ: “Sʜᴏᴏᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴜsᴛ ʙᴜᴛ I ᴡᴏɴ’ᴛ ʀᴜɴ ᴀᴡᴀʏ! I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ Isᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ…. Aɴᴅ ᴇʟᴇᴘᴀɴᴛs’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

Horton is so bass.

Bᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ sʜᴏᴏᴛ! Mᴜᴄʜ ᴛᴏ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ’s sᴜʀᴘʀɪsᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅʀᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ɢᴜɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴛᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡɪᴅᴇ ᴇʏᴇs! “ʟᴏᴏᴋ!” ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟʟ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ, “Cᴀɴ sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴇ? Aɴ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴘ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ…”

Really, it’s only mildly interesting. The tree that isn’t breaking, THAT’S the impressive part.

“Iᴛ’s sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ! Iᴛ’s ᴀᴍᴀᴢɪɴɢ! Iᴛ’s ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀꜰᴜʟ! Nᴇᴡ! Dᴏɴ’ᴛ sʜᴏᴏᴛ ʜɪᴍ. Wᴇ’ʟʟ CATCH ʜɪᴍ. Tʜᴀᴛ’s ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ’ʟʟ ᴅᴏ! Lᴇᴛ’s ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ. Wʜʏ, ʜᴇ’s ᴛᴇʀʀɪʙʟʏ ꜰᴜɴɴʏ! Wᴇ’ʟʟ sᴇʟʟ ʜɪᴍ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜs, ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇʏ!”

I suppose during the war, even mildly funny was much appreciated.

Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀsᴛ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴇ ᴋɴᴇᴡ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴜʟᴛ ᴀ ʙɪɢ ᴡᴀɢᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʀᴏᴘᴇs ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʀᴏɴᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜʟʟᴇʀs ᴛᴏ ᴅʀᴀɢ ᴏɴ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴅᴜɢ ᴜᴘ ʜɪs ᴛʀᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴘᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ, ᴡɪᴛʜ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴏ sᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ᴄʀɪᴇᴅ. “Wᴇ’ʀᴇ ᴏꜰꜰ!” ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ. Aɴᴅ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴜɴʜᴀᴘᴘʏ, ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ.

Somehow they did all this without Horton snapping their spines with his trunk, and they potted the tree. I suppose if they can pull the whole thing, lifting it was just a bit harder. Another minor difference in the short: all three pull.

Uᴘ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴊᴜɴɢʟᴇ! Uᴘ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ! Uᴘ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴs ᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴏᴜsᴀɴᴅ ꜰᴇᴇᴛ ʜɪɢʜ! Tʜᴇɴ ᴅᴏᴡɴ, ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴs ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sᴇᴀ ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ, ᴇɢɢ, ɴᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴇ …

So they WERE in a jungle! A jungle with snow. (And I though Wackyland was weird.) And did they really have to go up the mountain rather than around? These guys really must be the strongest men in the world. (I guess they are all named Artie.)

Tʜᴇɴ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴏɴᴛᴏ ᴀ sʜɪᴘ! Oᴜᴛ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ… ᴀɴᴅ ᴏᴏᴏʜ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴛʀɪᴘ! Rᴏʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏssɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ sᴘʟᴀsʜᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ sᴘʀᴀʏ! Aɴᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ sᴀɪᴅ, ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴅᴀʏ, “I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ… ʙᴜᴛ ᴏʜ, ᴀᴍ I sᴇᴀsɪᴄᴋ! Oɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

Clampett had real fun with this page! See that fish watching the ship? He shoots himself now that he’s seen everything. And yes, suicidal fish get cut when aired on TV. Pussies.

Aꜰᴛᴇʀ ʙᴏʙʙɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴡᴇᴇᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴄᴏʀᴋ, ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀɴᴅᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ʟᴀsᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴏꜰ Nᴇᴡ Yᴏʀᴋ. “Aʟʟ ᴀsʜᴏʀᴇ!” ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ʟᴜʀᴄʜ ᴡᴇɴᴛ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴘᴇʀᴄʜ, ᴛɪᴇᴅ ᴏɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ʙᴏᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴊᴜsᴛ sᴄᴀʀᴇᴄʟʏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ….BUMP! Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ʟᴀɴᴅᴇᴅ! Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇɴ sᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ!

I suppose he can’t talk to people in the book, but he can in the short. That just makes the people even more cruel.

Sᴏʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴄɪʀᴄᴜs! Tʜᴇɴ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋ ᴛʜᴇʏ sʜᴏᴡᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴀᴛ ᴛᴇɴ ᴄᴇɴᴛs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴇᴋ. Tʜᴇʏ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ Bᴏsᴛᴏɴ, ᴛᴏ Kᴀʟᴀᴍᴀᴢᴏᴏ, Cʜɪᴄᴀɢᴏ, Wᴇᴇʜᴀᴡᴋᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ Wᴀsʜɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ, ᴛᴏᴏ! Tᴏ Dᴀʏᴛᴏɴ, Oʜɪᴏ; Sᴛ. Pᴀᴜʟ, Mɪɴɴᴇsᴏᴛᴀ; Tᴏ Wɪᴄʜɪᴛᴀ, Kᴀɴsᴀs; ᴛᴏ Dʀᴀᴋᴇ, Nᴏʀᴛʜ Dᴀᴋᴏᴛᴀ. Aɴᴅ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜsᴀɴᴅs ᴏꜰ ꜰᴏʟᴋs ꜰʟᴏᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴀᴜɢʜ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ ᴜᴘ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛʀᴇᴇ. Pᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ɢʀᴇᴡ sᴀᴅᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀʀᴛʜᴇʀ ʜᴇ ᴡᴇɴᴛ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴀs ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴛ ɴᴏɪsʏ ᴛᴇɴᴛ: “I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I sᴀɪᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ I sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ… ᴀɴ ᴇʟᴘʜᴀɴᴛ’s ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ-ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!”

The crow isn’t animated in the short. They move as much as the people in the book do.

Tʜᴇɴ… ONE DAY ᴛʜᴇ Cɪʀᴄᴜs Sʜᴏᴡ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴀ ᴛᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴀʏ ᴅᴏᴡɴ sᴏᴜᴛʜ, ɴᴏᴛ sᴏ ꜰᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ Pᴀʟᴍ Bᴇᴀᴄʜ. Aɴᴅ, ᴅᴀᴡᴅʟɪɴɢ ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ᴡᴀʏ ᴜᴘ ʜɪɢʜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ sᴋʏ, ᴡʜᴏ (ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ!) sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰʟʏ ʙʏ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏʟᴅ ɢᴏᴏᴅ-ꜰᴏʀ-ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙɪʀᴅ, ʀᴜɴᴀᴡᴀʏ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ! Sᴛɪʟʟ ᴏɴ ᴠᴀᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs ʟᴀᴢʏ. Aɴᴅ, sᴘʏɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰʟᴀɢs ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇɴᴛs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ, sʜᴇ sᴀɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ, “ᴡʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴜɴ! Wʜʏ, I’ʟʟ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴏᴡ!”

Birds are so proud of the fact admission doesn’t apply to them.

Aɴᴅ sʜᴇ sᴡᴏᴏᴘᴇᴅ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴀɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴅᴏᴏʀ… “Gᴏᴏᴅ ɢʀᴀᴄɪᴏᴜs!” ɢᴀsᴘᴇᴅ Mᴀʏᴢɪᴇ, “I’ᴠᴇ sᴇᴇɴ YOU ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ!”
Pᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs ꜰᴀᴄᴇ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ᴀs ᴄʜᴀʟᴋ! Hᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴘᴇᴀᴋ, ʙᴜᴛ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛᴀʟᴋ…

I doubt she would have recognized him if he wasn’t in a tree.

Tʜᴇʀᴇ ʀᴀɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴏsɪᴇsᴛ ᴇᴀʀ-sᴘʟɪᴛᴛɪɴɢ sǫᴜᴇᴀᴋs ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ’ᴅ sᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ꜰɪꜰᴛʏ-ᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴇᴇᴋs! A ᴛʜᴜᴍᴘɪɴɢ! ᴀ ʙᴜᴍᴘɪɴɢ! A ᴡɪʟᴅ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ sᴄʀᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ! “Mʏ ᴇɢɢ” sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ. “Mʏ EGG! WHY, IT’S HATCHING!”

You might think fifty-one weeks is too long for an egg to hatch, but an elephant’s gestation period is 22 months, so that sounds like a fair compromise.

“Bᴜᴛ ɪᴛ’s MINE!” sᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ, ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ ʜᴀʀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴄʀᴀᴄᴋ. (Tʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴡᴀs ᴀʟʟ ᴅᴏɴᴇ. Nᴏᴡ sʜᴇ ᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ.) “Iᴛ’s MY ᴇɢɢ!” sʜᴇ sᴘᴜᴛᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ. “ʏᴏᴜ sᴛᴏʟᴇ ɪᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴍᴇ! Gᴇᴛ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ɴᴇsᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴛʀᴇᴇ!”
Pᴏᴏʀ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ʙᴀᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sᴀᴅ, ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ….

Even as a kid this part bothered me. The work is NOT almost done, it’s only going to get harder. Why does she want it back so much? Does she think she can make the chick wait on her?

Bᴜᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴠᴇʀʏ ɪɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ʙᴜʀsᴛ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ! Aɴᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇs ᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ sʜᴇʟʟ, ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɢɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ’ᴅ sᴀᴛ ᴏɴ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ sᴏ ᴡᴇʟʟ, Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ Eʟᴇᴘʜᴀɴᴛ sᴀᴡ sᴏᴍᴇʜᴛɪɴɢ ᴡʜɪᴢᴢ! IT HAD EARS AND A TAIL AND A TRUNK JUST LIKE HIS!

So, unless sitting on an egg just infuses it with your D.N.A., Horton was the father all along. No wonder Mayzie made him sit. He had to do his share.

Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ sʜᴏᴜᴛɪɴɢ, “ᴡʜᴀᴛ’s ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ…?” Tʜᴇʏ ʟᴏᴏᴋᴇᴅ! ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴛᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴇʏᴇs ᴘᴏᴘᴘɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ~ Tʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴇᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ CHEERED ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ. Tʜᴇʏ’ᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴇᴇɴ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴛ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ! “Mʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅɴᴇss! Mʏ ɢʀᴀᴄɪᴏᴜs!” ᴛʜᴇʏ sʜᴏᴜᴛᴇᴅ. “MY WORD! Iᴛ’s sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙʀᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇᴡ! IT’S AN ELEPHANT BIRD!!
ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ, ɪᴛ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ, ɪᴛ SHOULD ʙᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ! Bᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ Hᴏʀᴛᴏɴ ᴡᴀs ꜰᴀɪᴛʜꜰᴜʟ! Hᴇ sᴀᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀᴛ! Hᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ sᴀɪᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴᴛ….”

Except… the elephant bird wasn’t brand new by 1940 when this book came out. It was a real species that had already gone extinct. It layed the biggest eggs of any animal. (And we’ve got another person staring at the bird again. Is he wondering what other chimaeras he could make?)

…Aɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇʏ sᴇɴᴛ ʜɪᴍ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ, ᴏɴᴇ ʜᴜɴᴅʀᴇᴅ ᴘᴇʀ ᴄᴇɴᴛ!

Showing that some people are nice after all. (But did they really never try and see if the elephant was sitting on anything?) I’m just glad it ended happily for everyone who wasn’t a prick. And our short ends with Horton and his (I’m guessing son.) singing together. And what a merry melody it is!

Confusions of a Nutzy Spy

“That guy sure d-d-does act suspicious.”

Supervision by Norman McCabe; Story by Don Christensen; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on January 23, 1943.

You may have noticed that lately, I’ve been talking about many wartime shorts. Well, in honor of mothers everywhere, (including my own; who I don’t think has ever visited this place) this will be the last one for awhile. And there’s no better way to end things off, than with my brother from another porcine mother: Porky!

Said b.f.a.p.m. is working as a constable. And he has decorated his place quite nicely. He has a bunch of hand prints on the wall labeled as a “Fingerprint Dept.” (Fittingly enough, all the prints have three fingers and a thumb), a letter A labeled as “Exhibit A”, a rather sizable limb that is “The Long Arm of the Law”, and several wanted posters. (In the case of the woman, she’s just simply wanted.)

And where would a constable be without a trusty bloodhound by his side? Old Eggbert might be a bit lazy, but his sense of smell is second to none. Good thing too, as there’s a German spy on the loose! A feline fellow by the alias of: The Missing Lynx! (Or maybe that is his real name. Poor guy probably had no choice but to be a spy) Befitting his title, this spy is a master of disguise. I mean, you’d have to be to fool Porky. But it only lasts so long before the pig realizes that the strange person who can make himself look exactly like someone he’s never seen and is wanted by the law, might, just might, be the spy of which he seeks.

And what is this guy even doing here in the states? He’s going to blow up a bridge! Well, that’s what he intends to do. Despite the fact he is capable of keeping Porky away by donning a Porky mask and ordering him away, (Said mask is now in my hands. No shame) Eggbert was able to grab the bomb bag and return it to the Nazi. He hands the explosive to Porky and ducks into a nearby cave. Once he realizes why the bag is ticking, Porky joins him. Eggbert comes too. (Dogs are pack animals.) Eggbert has been sneezing throughout the whole short, and he lets one loose here as well. Porky and the lynx are flung through the air. Porky is saved by grabbing onto a pole, but the lynx ends up embedded in a cliff wall with the bomb at his feet. But wouldn’t you know it? The bomb was a dud. Angered, he bangs it on the ground in frustration. That was all that was needed, and they spy is no more. He may be dead, but he’s just happy his bomb worked after all.

Hop and Go

“I’m an ath-a-lete all right.”

Supervision by Norman McCabe; Animation by Cal Dalton; Story by Melvin Millar; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on March 27, 1943.

Our short of the week stars a kangaroo voiced by Pinto Colvig of Goofy fame. His name is Claude Hopper. (Which is probably the greatest name ever.) He may sound a little slow, but he’s a good guy and he has reason to brag: he IS the world’s greatest jumper. (And even though he is a male, they felt the need to give him a pouch.) But his boasting is overheard by a couple of rabbits named Andy and Sandy. (They’re easy enough to tell apart. Andy wears a tam o’ shanter and Sandy wears a hat that looks just like it but a different color. Simple.) Don’t know if their pride is hurt, or if they’re just dicks, but they decide to bring the marsupial down a bit. And they plan to do so by challenging him to a long distance hop.

Now, as any zoologist can tell you (and yes, I am “any zoologist”) kangaroo’s outclass rabbits by leaps and bound in leaps and bounds. The two are aware of this, and jump on Claude’s tail. Before he lands, they leap off in front of him, besting his distance by a couple of inches. He empties his non-existent pouch of all extra weight. (Material objects that is. I would have been angered if he had a joey in there) As he prepares to jump, one of the lagomorphs sticks some gum on his tail and cause him to land back on the scrapyard. What’s more, they have the nerve to laugh at his misfortune. Overcome with stress, Claude tries to show his strength by hopping all over the landscape. He ends up in a lake.

The rabbits are kind enough to rescue him and nicer still, offer to help him train to become as skilled as they are. Their method involves launching him from a giant lever with a crate in his…grr… pouch as ballast. Upon dropping a boulder on the other end, Claude is airborne! And boy does he fly! He reaches the kind of altitudes that airplanes fly at. Hours later, he’s still going. He decides to light a match to see where he is, as it is now night. This in turn gets him fired at. Only now does he realize that the crate he has, has dynamite in it. He drops it below just as he lands. Surround by rubble, he feels assured that he is the “champeen” now. His reasoning? He just bombed Tokyo. (Ah, World War II. If you had never happened, this might be considered the most evil punchline of all time.)

The Fighting 69th 1/2

“Our objective will be the hot dog!”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Story by Jack Miller; Animation by Gil Turner; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on January 18, 1941.

Throughout history there have been many wars. The Civil war, the console war, the game of war, just to name a few. One thing they all have in common is that they were all fought by humankind. But battles aren’t reserved for just people. Sometimes the animal kingdom gets in on the action. Our story begins with a picnic and two colonies of ants. The people who set up the picnic are nowhere to be found, so the ants have free reign over the goodies. It all starts when a red ant and a black ant both lunge for the same olive. There may be plenty of food to go around, but the thought never occurs to them and they declare war on each other. And they ain’t kidding. They’ve got tanks with real caterpillar treads and winged ants to act as bombers. (In case it wasn’t obvious, this short ignores the fact that all of the fighting ants should be female.) A group of reds makes their way to their target. Diving into cheese for cover along the way. When they get what they came for, they are ambushed by the blacks who take it back to their side. (Sadly, the short remembers that it can make a blackface ant joke and does so. Different time periods and all that. At least he only shows up once) The ants are pretty resourceful. Launching a toothpick like a harpoon to catch some peas, (War and peas go so well together you know) and using Limburger cheese as a gas bomb. But in the end, they can’t compete with larger forces, and the battle stalls when a woman comes to take the picnic away. (So I guess she already had eaten before this, but it looked pretty untouched to me. What a waste.) But despite taking it all, she doesn’t take the cake and the ants begin fighting anew. During the scuffle, the generals come to a realization: fighting is what caused them to lose everything in the first place. (Well, most of everything. They did get a few morsels.) A peace conference is declared where they decide to divide the cake equally. Almost. There’s a cherry on top, and each side wants it for themselves. The war reignites.

 

Hollywood Canine Canteen

“I’m a baaad bowwow.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Cal Dalton, Don Williams, and Richard Bickenbach; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 20, 1946.

TADA! Welcome to the new and improved Wackyland2! When I said I was cancelling the blog, I just meant that I was giving Squarespace the boot. That place sucked. Here is a lot more space for me to stretch my creative wings. It’s the same great taste, but with a whole new package! With still hundreds of shorts left to address, we’d better get started!

Dogs are some of the greatest animals on the planet! Hollywood seems to think so too. As all the biggest stars (at least of the 1940s) all seem to own one. What’s more, they look a lot like their owners too, making it easy to tell who is who. So what do these dogs do when their owners are out being caricatured in Warner Bros. cartoons? They decide to start a nightclub all their own! And everyone of the canine type is invited! Upon entering, patrons can drop their (fur) coats at the entrance. And one doesn’t need to worry about filling your belly: Dogwood himself is on hand making some tasty bone sandwiches, and cleanup is nothing to worry about. We’ve got Laurel and Hardy’s dogs on cleanup duty. (Our dishes wind up extra clean. Seeing as how Laurel’s pooch, keeps accidentally dropping what he just dried back into the sink.) A young dog tries to call home, but has to wait as there are quite a number ahead of him. Not to worry, there is plenty of entertainment to keep one occupied. Why not listen to Leopold Bowwosky conduct? His musicians are playing the Hungarian Dances. (Taking reading breaks when waiting for their part, and breaking violins when performing their part) But some aren’t taking things too seriously. Lou Costello’s dog can’t be bothered to stay with his instrument and will leave in the middle of a performance to get a drink. (And more amusing than that, acting like a jerk when people tell him to get back to work) He just might ruin the song too, as he’ll mistake any flies on his sheet music for actual notes. And our young friend is still waiting to call. But there’s only one ahead of him now! Some dog’s try to make connections. Bing Crosby’s dog is serenading the pet of Dorothy Lamour. But he can’t quite compete with Frank Sinatra’s dog. (Mostly because the latter’s singing is too irresistible for Bing’s pooch to try and top) With a fresh batch of music (and the occasional box of fleas) everyone is really getting into the dancing groove. Well, almost everyone. Our young friend is finally allowed to call home. Hope his voice is strong enough. Since dog’s can’t use telephones, he has to make do with a megaphone.