“Him, screwball.”
Directed by Robert Clampett; Animation by Rod Scribner, Manny Gould, I. Ellis, and C. Melendez; Layouts and Backgrounds by Thomas McKimson and Michael Sasanoff; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1945
What’s going on? Why is this place updating a day early? Well, I’m working tomorrow so you’ll have to put up with me during your holiday. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day! If you’re racist, the Martin Luther King snake will bite you.
This is a color remake of an earlier short by Clampett called “Injun Trouble.” This new title is much more friendly. (If I was smart, I would have reviewed all the shorts in chronological order.) In 1849, the U.S. was a much smaller country. It was all relegated to the east coast and the rest of the land belonged to the red man, Injun Joe. (If he was born today, he’d be called Native American Joe.) But if you read your history books, (and I know you did. Kids love history.) you’ll know that the white men decided that the land was theirs and they would soon have it. A wagon train is headed to what is today known as California. (Back then, it was Joelifornia.) There are some familiar looking faces in those wagons. They look an awful lot like the gremlins from “Russian Rhapsody.” Seeing as they’re entering enemy territory. (Containing such lovely locales as Joeklahoma, New Mexijoe, Minnejoeta, and Injunsaas.) They send out a scout to watch for trouble. Who better than my pal, Porky? Not too long after crossing the border, he finds the remnants of Joe’s last massacre. There’s only one survivor: Sloppy Moe. A blue-skinned runaway from Wackyland who has clearly been driven insane by Joe’s wrath. He does admit to knowing something he won’t tell. Shouting that it’s a secret when Porky inquires. Porky shrugs him off as a lost cause. Now why don’t we check in on this Joe character? How strong is he? And what of his age? Is the mighty Joe, young? (Congrats if you get that reference.) Well, he’s certainly earned his title. He’s the original Joe Cool. He doesn’t walk around mountains, he walks through. Trees with what look like Tweety clones in his way? He walks through them. He reduces the most ferocious of bears into whimpering cubs, and bites bear traps into letting him go. Naturally, if you’re going to fight him, you’re going to have to send someone beyond cool, manly, and cunning. And I don’t see how you could disagree with me, but Porky fits that description. Unfortunately, Joe has found Porky’s wagon train and diverts them off course leaving them out in the open. (You might think Joe loses coolness points for riding a stick horse, but that’s actually quite clever. What horse could hold his weight?) The train tries to fight back, but they don’t stand a chance. Joe uses whole trees as arrows and can make uses of bullets too. He crams them in his mouth and fires back at them. Porky catches up and wrestles Joe’s tomahawk away from him and gives him a smack on the foot. At least he hurt Joe. That’s more than any of us could have done. The angry Injun causes Porky to jump out of his skin-colored pants, and chases him to a cliff. It looks bad. How could things get worse? Well, Moe comes back. He’s still singing about his secret, but Joe won’t put up with such tomfoolery and demands to know. Turns out, he already did. Moe’s secret is about Joe’s weakness: he’s ticklish. Using his beard Moe tickles the burly brave into submission and he falls off the cliff. The force of his impact causes all of his territory to be dragged down with him, stretching our country to it’s current size. Goodbye, U.S.J. and hello U.S.A. (Bet you didn’t know that the country was fully formed at that time. We just didn’t announce it until 1912.) It’s all thanks to our heroes: Porky the fearless and Sloppy Moe the brave. (Moe would appear years later on “Tiny Toons” when they did a parody of “The Great Piggy Bank Robbery.” There, he was called Ticklepuss.
Personal Rating: 4