Category: Granny

A sweet old lady, but she won’t hesitate to protect her pets. Especially from each other.

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A Street Cat named Sylvester

“I tawt I taw a tweety bird.”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, Manuel Perez, and Ken Champin; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc. Music: Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on September 5, 1953.

That title is a lie. Sylvester is very much a pet today. But the pun! Too tempting! And yet, Tweety still gets the star billing. He’s been around longer.

Things start off in the style of their first team-up: Tweety is taking note of how winter is the death of all joy and will to live in the world, and only barely managing to stay warm via the heat of a cigar butt. Fate’s wind blows him into a house, and he bangs on the door, pleading for sanctuary. He’s putting a lot of effort into his door pounding, but no human would be able to hear his little fist-wings over the howl of that gale. That door would need to be answered by a feline, but what, are we supposed to believe this is a cartoon?

Sylvester is delighted by what is on the other side of the door. You gotta take advantage when opportunity knocks, and take it he does. It always makes me laugh when he licks Tweety like a ice-pop. That’s as far as he gets before Granny is attracted by the noise. She’d probably try to interfere and keep him from eating something crawling with germs. Sylvester sticks his treat in a vase with books on top to prevent any escapes. Not noticing anything out of the ordinary, Granny takes him to the kitchen for supper.

As is expected of a cat, he turns his nose up at the canned stuff. See, cats were just never meant to be pets like pigs. Don’t ask me how humanity got their roles mixed up. All I can tell you youngin’s about is the glory of movie rental stores. There’s a third mammal in the house too: Hector the bulldog, but he’s tied up with a broken leg. Somehow got it from chasing Sylvester. He shouldn’t be an obstacle, but Sylvester is a black cat, and they’re like bad luck or something.

Granny takes notice of the oddly placed books, meaning Sylvester is going to have to act fast and cause a distraction. Anything that will further hurt the dog will be a plus. He makes Hector’s injured paw slam on the ground, and the dog howls. (The howls of pain in this short may sound familiar. I’ve heard them get reused in the films like “George of the Jungle” and games like “Frogger 2: Swampy’s Revenge”.) Properly distracted, Granny comes to give him medicine to ease the pain. Judging by the fear in his eyes and the green in his pallor, it’s nasty stuff.

When Sylvester finally gets back to his prize, he finds a TNT stick instead. The chase leads back over to Hector who gives the cat a bite. That sounded like a howl of pain! And that medicine isn’t the kind that you have to wait at least four hours between doses. Granny could make him chug the whole bottle if it wasn’t so expensive. Sylvester does a stupid thing in his panic, and hides Tweety in the dog’s mouth. Luckily, the medicine isn’t fatal to birds, as Tweety ends up taking the worst of it. But it’s a temporary victory, since when Hector smacks Sylvester with a club, his howls of pain summon Granny for a repeat performance.

Tweety decides to stick with Hector for protection, leading Sylvester to drastic measures. He hoists the fridge up via a rope, and aims to drop it on Hector. Even though the dog is for sure under its shadow, it ends up dropping on Sylvester. Black cats. Why aren’t there more cartoons where the bad luck they bring affects themselves? Sylvester is now laid up next to Hector and worse yet, will be subjected to the same toxic tonics. And worse than that? Tweety has been fiddling with the stuff and added whatever and so forth to the bottle. If Sylvester doesn’t die, the best case scenario will be like something out of Roald Dahl’s imagination.

Favorite Part: Hector saying Tweety will be taken over his dead body. (Which is surreal to hear him say after watching the entirety of “The Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries” and hearing him speak not but typical canine noises.) Sylvester says that condition can be arranged. It’s cliche, but its always cool when someone says they’ll take them up on it.

Personal Rating: 3

Oh, and here’s this:

I know if you read my blog that you’ll have already seen this, but I wouldn’t be a good fan if I didn’t put it up. I’m excited, but cautious.

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This is a Life?

“Easthy sthomach. Don’t turn over.”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen and Arthur Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 9, 1955.

That title is the title of my favorite show! It’s a program where they take someone from the audience, usually well known, and honor them by asking about their life story, showing some clips from their past, bringing on important people from their history, maybe even giving you a present at the end. Just in case it’s me this week, my guest stars will be named Richard, Megan, and Sabra. (The first two will not be pleased to interact with me again.) My gift can be every one of my characters as drawn by an animator I admire. Sally Cruikshank can do my self-insert, Tartakovsky can do the assassin, and Gooseworx can do the pogo-stick creature that has fingers coming out of its arms.

Drat my luck! Considering the celebs we got in the audience, I don’t fancy my chances. Granny, Bugs AND Daffy? I’ll be lucky to appear on the camera feed. Emcee Elmer says that our mystery guest is beloved in motion pictures, so that rules out me and Buddy. The person also is thoughtful of others, generous, charitable… Daffy is certain it’s none other than himself. Admitting that this constant praise would only be embarrassing if it wasn’t all true. And here comes Elmer now. Daffy happily introduces himself and tells Elmer that there’s much to tell. Don’t waste time talking to the rabbit next to him, just read out the name already!

So after Bugs is summoned to the stage, Elmer asks for him to start from the beginning. Bugs describes a scene he saw in “Fantasia” once. The Earth was young and tumultuous. Quakes and volcanoes abounded, but in a bit of water, life was starting out as microscopic blobs called protists. They probably used their flagella to kiss. That’s too far back for Elmer’s liking, so Bugs fast-forwards to 1947, when a hare was born in Manhattan.  We’re in a clip show after all. Shame Elmer cuts it after his first words. He wants to talk about the first time they met. Would that be “A Wild Hare” or “The Old Grey Hare“?

Guess I’m a pretty poor scholar. They first met in “Hare Do“. Duh! We just get to see Elmer lured over a cliff, before it’s time to move on. I love Bugs’s cheeky grin at remembering this. And Elmer’s book changes colors too. Elmer is a wizard. Time for a voice from Bugs’s past. It’s loud, gruff, rough, tough, devoid of fluff, buff, full of guff, a bit of huff, and that’s enough: it’s Yosemite Sam. Come to tell about the time Bugs was on his ship. Always a good idea to remember “Buccaneer Bunny“, but Sam never said it was a picture. Was he really a pirate in this continuity? Has he done hard prison time, then? Did he ever get another parrot?

Bugs is enjoying this trip through memory lane, but he’s the only one laughing. He even makes note of the time he threw lit matches in Sam’s powder room. Great callback! But the next two are total fabrications. Putting eels in their bed sounds kinda crass for Bugs, and covering them in cement is too dark. Elmer and Sam start plotting at this point, putting a lit bomb in a box for the bunny. Bugs takes it, but tries regifting once he hears it ticking. Do time bombs get lit fuses? A game of (extremely) hot potato erupts. Despite everything indicating the bomb was lit onstage and seen by everybody, Daffy decides to claim it for himself. Ah, but he probably had his eyes shut for most of it. Pleased to get what he claims is rightfully is, he explodes with happiness.

Favorite Part: Daffy complaining about his limelight being stolen by a nobody. While he rants, Granny starts looking for something. He correctly guess it’s her umbrella she wants, so he hands it to her. Glad to have it back, she smacks him. Almost makes me ignore the crazy eyes she has. Do the elderly enjoy crack?

Personal Rating: 3. I’m normally not so generous to the shorts that reuse clips, but the wrap around segment was enjoyable, took up most of the screen time, and showed a beautiful contrast of Bugs and Daffy’s egos.

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Hare Trimmed

“I can see you through the key hole!”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8j11gb

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, and Arthur Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on June 20, 1953.

We started this fun themed month with a ghost story, then moved on to real life horror, and now I’ll continue this trend with a cartoon featuring costumes. Maybe next week I’ll discuss “The Cookie Carnival.” Wouldn’t that be a shake-up?

Sam takes note of the local news. Namely, there’s a widow that’s inherited 50 million big ones. And he can’t help but feel that anyone having just lost a loved one should immediately replace what’s missing. You know, he’s single. A suspicious Bugs can’t help but see what the little guy is up to, and finds Sam in the next scene with flowers and candy. He’s got marriage on his mind. Bugs might just need to intervene.

Said widow is Granny (that newspaper photo didn’t do her justice), who has so much cash, she literally sets some aside to burn. (Whoever her husband was, his death clearly didn’t affect her too much. In fact, how do we know this isn’t the first time she’s gotten in such a rewarding situation? I’m worried about you, Sam.) She answers her door to find Sam trying to woo her, and she lets him chase her. But she must put their fun on a brief hiatus as there’s yet another knock.

It’s Bugs dressed as the marquee of Queensberry… rouge, I think. Putting on his best Pepe Le Pew impression, he also gets to chase the flirty Granny around. Sam isn’t pleased and slaps Bugs with his glove. Bugs (and his disappearing/reappearing hat) returns the favor but he bothers to put a brick in his, first. Time for pistols at ten paces. Bugs, ever ten paces ahead, counts out as many steps between nine and ten as he needs to get Sam to walk out into the path of an incoming bus.

When Sam comes banging at the door again, it is answered by Bugs in Granny garb. And Sam refers  to “her” as “Emma.” Could this be Granny’s real name? If it isn’t, what is it with Sam and girls named Emma? Sam gets to chase again, but “Emma” ends things quickly with a piano to the face. It’s then that the real Emma (?) finds him and sets him in a chair while she fixes him some coffee. The other one reaches him first and does the ole ‘giving lumps when asking for lumps’ bit.

When Gremma returns, Sam kicks the coffee out of her hands sending her running for the gun that I’m guessing she’s already used before SOME WAY. Sam realizes that he may have just kicked away the easy life, and follows begging for forgiveness. He gets Bugs (still in disguise) to forgive him and he then suggests they elope, much to Sam’s glee. When they’re walking down the aisle, Bugs’s dress gets caught on a snag and tears off revealing his hairy legs. Leading to a great line from the priest: “Do you, Sam, take this woman… woman?”

That comment gets Sam to look over his bride once more and instantly get cold feet. He flees the wedding, leaving Bugs crying crocodile tears. (Who are all those people they invited anyway? I don’t recognize anybody but me.)

Favorite Part: The animation of Sam and later Bugs chasing Granny. I can’t explain it, but it slays me. And I wish I had an opportunity to chase someone like that without warranting a call for help.

Personal Rating: 4. Granny is probably at her best here. Fun to see her having so much fun.

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Tweet and Sour

“You did sthee a pussthycat!”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Virgil Ross, Art Davis, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc (June Foray); Music by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on March 24, 1956.

Granny is heading out for the time being, but she assures Tweety that he will be safe as she is locking the door. But she makes the foolish mistake of sticking the key under the welcome mat, the very place cats like Sylvester tend to hide. As she drives away she waves what could potentially be her final goodbye to her bird, but she snaps out of it and gets the canary out of the cat’s mouth.

Time for a threat. Either Tweety is unharmed by the time she gets back from… wherever it is she is going, or Sylvester is sold to a violin string factory. (That isn’t what catgut is, lady! Leave the feline alone!) Her threat flies straight through those ears, as he is all set to try again once she’s gone. Only after Tweety reminds him of the very real threat does he reluctantly decide to behave himself. But Sylvester isn’t the only cat in town…

Hey! I recognize that orange cat! It’s the one-eyed fellow from “Puddy Tat Twouble“! I’ve heard people say this guy is Sam, but since he doesn’t talk and can’t tell them they are mistaken, his name is Lee. And he helps himself to the bird, despite Sylvester telling him that his life is on the line. Why should Lee care about something that doesn’t affect him? That’s the American lifestyle! Sylvester does his best to get Tweety away from this interloper, and vice versa.

Tweety, in turn is trying to keep away from the both of them. He hides under a hen that lives in a hen house. (Naturally.) The hen is a little spooked when she feels something slip under her, but she seems to get over it quickly as when Sylvester makes a grab, she has a huge smile. (Ew.) Once she sees the claws that were groping her, she runs to tell the resident rooster, Not Foghorn the leghorn. He prepares to wallop the intruder, when Lee comes back and chases Sylvester off. His paw ends up flat as a pancake.

Sylvester gets Tweety back in the house, who comments on how kind the putty-tat is. Sylvester isn’t pleased to hear his reputation referred to in such a kindly manner and points out this is all to keep his body alive. (Don’t you have nine lives, son?) Not like Granny is going to forget this threat after this one time. Lee is planning to come down via chimney, so Sylvester sends up some dynamite via balloon. Lee lets it pass, and slips back down. It’s at that moment that the balloon realizes it has no helium and it drifts back down. Lee flees.

Sylvester notices Granny has returned from… wherever it is she was, and rushes Tweety back to the cage. She comes in just at that moment where the cage door is still open and his paw is still touching the bird. Knowing she wouldn’t believe him anyway, (I’m not even sure the two can communicate) he falls into a violin box on his own. Umm… Tweety? This is where you speak up and defend your hero… Tweety?

Favorite Part: When Granny waves to Tweety in Sylvester’s grasp, Sylvester waves back. It’s funnily cute. Like a pig with a pail on his head, or an elephant taking someone’s lunch.

Personal Rating: 3

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Tugboat Granny

“ANCHORS AWEIGH!”

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Virgil Ross, Art Davis, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on June 23, 1956.

Would you look at that! Granny actually got her name in the title! But… it’s only so they could make a “Tuboat Annie” pun, so she won’t be featuring much in the following short. All we get out of her is a duet with Tweety about tugboats. Granny has a tugboat, you see. I don’t think I’ve made that quite clear. As for Sylvester, he’s been trying to snag a meal by hanging around the fishermen. Since that’s not working out, he decides to try and board the boat and bag the bird.

He first tries a rowboat. Tweety drops an anchor, causing the cat to have to row back to shore, sans boat. Next, he tries a rubber raft. They’re impervious to anchors, but not darts, and it just so happens that Tweety has one of those on him. (Weird. The shot of his dart hitting the raft contains no water. It makes the raft appear to levitate.) Well, the tug is making its way under a bridge now, so Sylvester tries to simply drop down. He lands in the smokestack. (Which would be impressive if this was a video game. It’d probably earn you a piece of heart.)

Right. Going on the water didn’t work. Going over the water didn’t work. Since there aren’t any sharks in this cartoon, it looks like it’s time to try going under and through the water. Sylvester makes a pipe into a handy metal snorkel, but that is exactly the kind of perch that attracts penguin-gulls. And it is insistent on staying put. Since Sylvester has no gills, he has to return to shore. Only then does he find that the bird laid an egg, which is now in his mouth. He throws it at the pest, but gravity returns it to him.

That’s enough tugging for today. Granny (Still not on screen, mind you.) starts docking. Sylvester readies a lasso, but it flies too far, and grabs a hold of a passing speedboat, pulling Sylvester in tow. He starts to get into the spirit of things, and starts pulling faces and stunts. When one doesn’t look where one is going, one is liable to crash into a post. Quoth the fish: “I tawt I taw a puddy-tat.”

Favorite Part: Sylvester’s disastrous fishing trip. Hearing somebody got a bite, he hides in their tackle box. The catch that is put in with him, is a very angry crab. The natural enemy of the common house cat.

Personal Rating: 3

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Space Jam A New Legacy (First Thoughts)

“You remember fun, don’t you, doc?”

As the title suggests, these are just my first thoughts about this film. A synopsis, complete with annoying jokes, limited information, and inflations to my own ego will happen someday in the future. Not today, for it is the present.

Very short version of this post: 🙂

Long version of this post: I expected this movie to be fun. Not good, bad, great, or abysmal. Just fun. And I got exactly that. Let’s be real. Even the first S.J. wasn’t really all that great. (Something I’ve come to grips with long since I blogged about it.) Neither of them have a great story, these films are just an excuse to have cartoons play basketball. (And sell W.B. merchandise on the side.)

Speaking of weak story, I won’t lie: this film has got one of those. LeBron is just playing the “father who wants his progeny to be like him, despite the kid’s protests to do something else.” Seen it. And yeah, the man isn’t a superb actor. (At least he is able to admit it in the film.) Still, I feel he does better than Jordan did. He definitely emotes more. As opposed to Michael looking dead inside. (Really. How could you not go “Looney” getting to meet animation’s greatest characters?)

But as week as the story is, (and some might disagree with me on this) it’s leagues better than the first one’s. Having the Tunes exist in a digital world makes much more sense than being underground. And for that matter, LeBron’s actor/son’s conflict actually gets some sort of payoff. Unlike Michael’s actor/son who mopes a bit, cheers up upon finding his dad was kidnapped by animated characters, then disappears until the denouement.

And the crossover aspect! If you can fathom the idea of someone never seeing “Ready player one” or any “Avengers” movie, then you can probably believe me when I say I was getting goosebumps when all of Warner’s properties gather to watch the game. But there’s a downside to that too. After they assemble, they don’t do anything. Yes, they’re the audience, but the original film let its audience react a bit more. (The most we get here is a pout from King Kong.)

For that matter, the original utilized the Tunes universe just a bit better. The team you see in all the advertisements? That’s pretty much all we get. Marvin and K-9 get a little screen time, when everyone sans Bugs is coerced into seeing what other worlds they can explore there’s a group shot of many minor characters. It just goes by so fast one can’t enjoy it. (I was able to see Rocky, Muggsy and Playboy.) And Canasta appears in the “Mad Max” universe. That’s it.

Wasted potential there. Why couldn’t they join the rest of the crowd for watching?Too expensive to animate? Which reminds me, the animation was gorgeous. Not spectacular. There’s nothing on the levels of “Fantasia” or “Spirited Away.” But what we get is a real treat. Vibrant, bouncy, and looney. Just what I expected and wanted. But that’s the 2-d stuff. How was the 3-d?

I won’t lie. It looks good. And that’s a relief considering how computer generated animation trying to look like it really exists ranges from nightmare inducing:

“I’m the reason animated spider’s are drawn with simple mouths!”

To laughably pathetic.

“Did I miss the auditions for “Pan’s Labyrinth”?”

The voice acting was nice as well. Zendaya Maree Stoerme Coleman did pretty good as Lola. Heck, if I didn’t know going in, I would’ve figured Ms. Bunny was being voiced by a 25 years older Kath Soucie. And the basketball stars voicing the villains did an admirable job. And mentioning the villains, I thought they were a lot of fun. Even if super-powered mutant basketball players feels strangely familiar.

“Good news, everyone! The public no longer has to remember us via “Pixels!”

It’s a good thing they were a joy to watch, as they don’t get nearly as much screen time as the Monstars. And one of them appears too late, and disappears too fast. Why wasn’t he there from the start? Oh, and while I’m discussing the villains: I found Don Cheadle entertaining, but not Pete. He did nothing to further the story. Completely superfluous. But the Minions have made it so animated films won’t sell if there isn’t at least one tiny, annoying, comic relief character that wouldn’t be missed if cut out completely.

The weakest part of the film in my opinion? The ending. I won’t spoil it here, but it didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, and seemed to wrap up a bit too fast. Lucky for me the fun stuff starts a lot quicker than its predecessor, so I don’t feel like there was a bunch of wasted time squeezing the entertaining middle.

And that pretty much wraps up my first thoughts after my first viewing of the first “Looney Tunes” film I’ve been able to see in theaters. My rating is just a few more lines down.

Short version of this post: I quite enjoyed it.

Favorite Part: Really, I did get chills seeing such a large crossover of properties. It might change in the future, but it’s the winner for now.

Personal Rating: I’ve been seeing fairly negative reviews from other people. I however, feel that if you go in expecting to see a movie that is more “fun than substance,” you’ll have a good time. (It’s the film equivalent of a lollipop.) Therefore, I grant it a 3 for the basic crowd, and a 4 for my fellow Looney-tics. (Yes, really.)

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Red Riding Hoodwinked

“EEE! The big bad putty-tat!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Arthur Davis, Gery Chiniquy, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1955 Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Arthur Davis, Gery Chiniquy, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1955

Quite the interesting way to start this tale! Ms. Foray tells about the hood of all things. It was worn by a girl, so they called her Red Riding Hood. (The hood meanwhile was named “Girl inside my body”) On this day, Red is going to visit her grandmother and is bringing her a gift. Namely, Tweety. This gets the attention of Sylvester who was in the middle of feasting on trash scraps(TM). The girl gets on the bus with the cat following. (And crashing into a post since he wasn’t looking where he was going.) As is the case with nearly all buses, it drops her off with still a distance to go and she skips through the woods the rest of the way. She is being watched by the Big Bad Wolf. (I thought that was the wolf from the 3 pigs story.) With quite the terrible memory as he needs a sign (that comes out of nowhere) to be clued in on her name. (Then again, how would he know her name in the first place? Has he tried this before?) She tells him of her plans before being on her way again. The wolf decides to take the shortcut to Granny’s place. (Why didn’t Red take it?) Along the way, he sends Sylvester a glare that warns him to keep out of his way. (“Now where was I going again? Oh yeah, Grandma’s house.”) Since he took the shortcut he is the first to get there and shoves Granny out. (And I do mean Granny. It’s not some generic old woman in this tale.) He finds Sylvester already in the bed. (Somehow) Then Red arrives and knowing that Sylvester could easily tip her off that something is amiss, has him hide under the bed. (He needs him nearby, he still can’t quite remember the kid’s name) Red comes in to show her gift. A canary is hardly a meal for a wolf, so he has her place it on the ground. There, Tweety asks why the old woman is also under the bed. Knowing that everyone has heard the dialogue before and knows it by heart, Red makes all her observations in one statement. The wolf and cat reveal who they really are and give chase. Sylvester accidentally slams a door on the wolf and brings him to with some water. Instead of being grateful, the wolf beats him with the pail. This allows their prey to make a getaway. They chase them outside, but the two cleverly run back in and lock the door. The wolf goes to the back and tries to break down that door, while Sylvester begins nailing a rubber band to the front. The wolf finally gets in the back way, and goes to let Sylvester in, (guess he’s realized that the cat isn’t trying to eat girl meat and could actually make a decent ally) just as Sylvester launches a rock at the non-budging door. While he checks to make sure his pal is okay, the girl and the bird make a retreat to the bus stop, getting on a bus. The predators run faster than the vehicle to the next stop leaving their prey all but trapped. The bus stops for them and they shove past each other to get in. Then are immediately punched off by the bus driver, Granny herself. (Don’t ever come between a grandmother and her granddaughter/pet)

Personal Rating: 3

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Tweety’s High-flying Adventure

“Humph! Mr. Popular.”

Directed by Karl Torege, Charles Visser, James T. Walker, Kyung Won Lim.

In case you haven’t noticed, all of the shorts I’ve talked about recently have had cats in them. Looney Tunes are chock full of them. And so is this direct to video movie which was sort of a series finale for “The Sylvester and Tweety Msyteries.” It’s not spectacular, but I still find it enjoyable. So let’s get started.

It’s October 2nd… I dunno, 2000 I guess, and Granny is living in London for some reason. She has two pets, namely Sylvester and Tweety. She is also a member of the Looney Club, which is located right next door to a children’s park that is going to close soon. Inside the club we see…COLONEL RIMFIRE? Wow! One of the last characters created for Looney Tunes. He doesn’t get roles anymore. Score one point for this film. He is busy ranting about the fact that he never caught his nemesis: Cool Cat. No, not that abomination created by Derek Savage. This character actually has earned his title. At least, I think he’s cool.

The colonel takes a little solace in the fact that he was bested by a creature that was smarter than him. Not just Cool Cat, but all cats. He believes cats are the smartest creatures on the planet. I disagree. Lucky for me, Granny is on my side, believing her canary to be the I.Q.-iest. Rimfire says he’d bet his savings on his claim, and she takes him up on it, hoping to use the winnings to restore the park. She claims that Tweety can prove this by not only going around the globe in 80 days, which would be December 21, (I’m still going with) 2000, but also collect 80 different paw prints. It’s a big challenge, but Tweety’ll do anything for Granny. (Is it just me, or does that calendar have a picture of one of the hunters from “Horton hatches the egg” on it?)

So he is given a passport to get stamped to prove he visited the locations. This gathers the attention of a shifty looking character in the crowd. It’s the Shropshire Slasher from the short “Deduce You Say“. He eyes Tweety’s passport with great interest and why not? The things might be rare soon. One’s already been stolen apparently. Sylvester meanwhile, plans on following the canary to make sure he and only he can have him for lunch. Outfitted with a tracking device, Tweety heads for his first stop in France. Not too long after starting, a wind blows him off course into the Alps. Lodged into the side of a mountain, he asks a nearby climber for help. Said climber is actually Daffy, who is sore about the fact this is not his movie and refuses to help. An avalanche happens but the two are saved by snowboarder Bugs Bunny.

It is now October 12, and Sylvester has been waiting in France this whole time. The script says that Tweety should have come here, could it be wrong? Nope. Here he comes now, being chased by Penelope Pussycat. She crashes into Sylvester’s table and gets a white stripe down her back, but that does not deter her from her purrrr-suit. (Weak, I know.) Not if Sylvester has anything to say about it. While they chase, Tweety gets his passport stamped by Pepe. He then points out something he thinks he’ll like: two skunks fighting over him. (It’s not really explained how Sylvester got a stripe as well.) With those two occupied, Tweety collects Penelope’s print and flies off for Italy.

Would you like to bet on whether or not Tweety will make it? Because his progress is being charted by Foghorn, Prissy, Henry, and Egghead Jr. And they’re accepting all bets. They believe he can do it. (Birds are encouraging like that) In Venice, Tweety stops at Pasquelles. This is the same restaurant Charlie Dog tried to make home in “A Hound for Trouble.” He’s still there, playing waiter. Tweety orders a plate of birdseed with marinara sauce. As all Americans know, Italian food is good eating, so it’s no wonder that Tweety leaves the place plump as a turkey. He can’t even fly anymore, so he hitches a ride on a gondola. But flightless, plump, juicy, succulent birds are vulnerable. Surprise! The owner of it is a cat, and there are more up ahead on a bridge. Tweety uses his new physique to bowl over them. He gets their prints, and a stamp for Venice. (Turns out his fat was just gas. If only I had that problem.)

Tweety’s trip has garnered more attention, and he is even mentioned by Lola on the news. Tweety makes it to Egypt and gets his passport stamped by a camel. (Who I think is Humpty Bumpty in a fez, but I can’t be sure.) Worn out, Tweety goes to sleep. But Sylvester must have gotten away form Pepe, and is back for more. (Please tell me he convinced him of his gender before it was too late.) After a scuffle, Tweety hides in the Sphinx. Granny wasn’t kidding about his smarts. He knows how to read Hieroglyphics. Turns out the place has a terrible fate for anyone who tries to head down a certain hall. Since Sylvester isn’t aware, he gets attacked by mummified cats.  They punch him hard enough to make a hole in the place for Tweety to escape from. He collects their prints and is on his way once more.

Landing in Africa (in the jungle of crayon drawn trees) he encounters the Mynah Bird. Since that guy doesn’t talk, Tweety just follows him hoping he’ll lead him to his next stamp. But he doesn’t look where he’s going and wanders into a lion’s mouth. (At least he found the stamp in there.) He leaves the mouth of the beast, (which looks more like a dog dressed as a lion to me) but almost immediately runs into Pete Puma. (Why’s he here?) The two corner Tweety in a tree. (No relation to the short “Tree cornered Tweety”) Luckily for him, the Mynah comes back and saves him by flinging the predators away. With that done, Tweety heads to Tibet. He gets to a souvenir shop where Gossamar gives him another stamp. (Why not?) Tweety also catches sight of some monk cats lead by Claude. (He may look different, but the voice is a dead giveaway.)

They are about to sacrifice a canary (who has hair) to their god. Tweety comes to the rescue in a snowball (picking up Hugo the abominable snowman along the way) and bowls over them. He looks just like their god and he demands that they release the bird, and knock off the canary sacrifices. Even though they agree, Tweety is a jerk and still sics Hugo on them. (But he does get their prints as well) He is joined by the other bird named Aooga. (No really.) After getting a stamp at China, the two are blown off course all the way to Mexico. At least they can get a stamp for there. (Courtesy of Speedy) Since they are down there, they stop by Rio as well. Rocky and Muggsy are hiding out there, but they still give them a stamp. And in Argentina they get another one form (Spike/Hector? Marc Antony? Just a bulldog?)

With the south taken care of, they fly back to Japan. (Seems the Slasher is still on the loose.) Afterwards, they decide to take a boat to their next destination. Sylvester has remembered he’s in this movie and prepares to dig in. But he’s caught by a ship hand and thrown in the galley to catch mice. The mice in question are Hubie and Bertie who are living a good life with all the cheese they can eat. Sylvester gives chase, but they use a bucket of soapy water to send him sliding off the ship. Even though he clasps on to the side, Tweety sadistically pries him off, sending him into the shark infested (badly animated) water below. But he does throw him a life saver. (The things he does for Warner Bros.)

The three drift to Australia. There, the passport is stamped by Hippety Hopper. (Why does he have a pouch?) And of course Sylvester thinks he’s a giant mouse. But this is also the home of the Tasmanian Devil who shows up and plans to eat some cat. Sylvester saves his hide, by encouraging a team up so they can both get canary. They chase after the birds on a bike, (Taz really seems to be enjoying himself) but the birds make their getaway with a convenient hang glider. Sylvester leaps onto it, leaving Taz alone in the air. (He holds out Wile E. holding out a ‘mother’ sign.) The birds fly off leaving the cat stuck on the glider, but he bumps into a wind surfer. (Is that the flying fish from “The sour puss” on his sail?) The birds land atop it as well, and ride to their next stop, San Francisco.

With the putty tat still on their tails, the birds ride a skateboard through no-color-ville to escape. Sylvester hops aboard a trolley driven by Yosemite Sam and shoves him out of the way. But he doesn’t really know how to work it, and ends up breaking the brake. With the vehicle out of control the two end up on Alcatraz much to Sam’s anger. The birds head off to Vegas, with Sylvester following on a train, an angry Sam chasing him the whole trip. (He has great endurance.) Once there, Sylvester manages to get Sam taken away on another train, but loses the birds in Chalk Vegas. They are hiding in a casino which just so happens to be full of cats. They are all betting against Tweety. If they were to be spotted, they would probably be chased down. Sylvester exposes their hiding spot and they are chased down. One cat catches Aoogah and I think Tweety shoves a pole up his butt. (What else could he have done with it?) Sylvester meanwhile has caused another cat to hit the jackpot. Pussyfoot is with her, are they related? Also the kitten makes itself comfortable on Sylvester’s head. (Adorable)

The two head off again. (The Slasher also is outside. Is that other guy naked?) The two birds head off across the country collecting prints along the way. They eventually make it to New York. (It’s full of Looney Tune advertisements.) They stop for a hot dog at a cart that is by a strange looking man in a trench coat. Tweety asks a weird question to Aoogah: What kind of hot dog would she be if she was one? (What.) Sylvester is the vendor, and plans to eat. During the scuffle, mustard is squirted all over the strange man, exposing him as Marvin. This confusion gives the birds a chance to get to the airport. Tweety is sad that the fun is almost over, and decides for one more challenge he’ll fly back to London on his own. He leaves his ticket with the stewardess and the birds head out. Sylvester meanwhile makes a pretty poor excuse for a poster that is framing Tweety as stealing the Passport. Good thing he showed it to a poor excuse for a cop who believes it. While this does not get him anywhere, he does get Tweety’s ticket. Guess he’ll meet them in London.

The birds meanwhile have flown into a hurricane. Not only does it remove Tweety’s tracker, making the world believe he’s gone, but it separates the duo. (Now all the world has left to enjoy is a man in a barrel. I’m not joking)  And Aooga had the passport! Tweety feels sorry for himself, since it seems like he’s not going to win like he always does. He hears Aooga’s call and lands on an island in the eye of the storm. (Home of the worst CGI trees I’ve ever seen.) Turns out the passport floats and after getting swarmed by some random cats, (Strange, but hey more prints.) They fly off to London once more. Arriving in a pub, they are grabbed by the Slasher. Turns out he was behind the passport theft all along! (Surprise surprise!) He collects the things. He stuffs it in his pocket, and Tweety probably would have been lost if he was alone. But Aoogah snatches it back.

The pollice arrive and the Slahser is forced to take off. Sylvester is with them, still clutching his poster. (I’m not surprised these guys believed it. They probably think all American posters are shoddily made.) Tweety has the passport and is presumed guilty. Sylvester takes it as Tweety is arrested and happily jumps in glee. But what’s this? There are two passports? And Tweety’s checks out. Leaving Sylvester holding the stolen one. Turns out the slasher stuck them in the same pocket he keeps his fish and chips in, and they got stuck together. (Gross.) Sylvester won’t be a bother to them now, but Tweety is sad. According to the subtitle, it’s the 22 and that mean he’s late. But Aoogah points out that they crossed a time zone and actually it is the 21st! There is stilla a chance! (Ummm. The sun rises in the east. So if it’s really the 21st in London, wouldn’t it be the 20th in America?)

They rush to the club. Rimfire points out that there’s only 79 prints. Tweety never managed to actually get Sylvester’s. Taking the passport back, he rushes to the police wagon and gets the last print! Rimfire reluctantly admits defeat, and it turns out one of the other members was Cool Cat all along. And he knew Tweety would succeed. Only someone who is truly cool will admit he’s not the smartest. For finding the missing passport, Tweety is knighted. Sylvester is still heading to prison.

Personal Rating: Looney-tics should have fun seeing how many characters are crammed in here. For them, 3. For the rest…3. (Only because I don’t have a 3.5 rating)

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 5)

Back at Acme, Mr. Chariman is gloating over the success of getting the phone. Damian still believes that D.J. will foil his plans. Mr. Chairman has the Peter Lorre scientist keep using a machine that makes Damien hit himself. Looking at the map photo, they see that Daffy got himself in the shot, making it useless. They decide to go face our heroes and bring their most dangerous operative: The Tasmanian Devil. (When the Vice President of “Never Learning” points out that he’s kinda dumb, Taz is allowed to eat him.)

In Africa, our heroes are making slow progress when who should appear? No not Inki. (That would’ve been an awesome but probably problematic cameo.) It’s Granny, Sylvester, and Tweety on an geographically incorrect elephant. (Yes, I know why they’re not using the African variety.) They offer them a ride. Bugs points out how they came at just the right time, and Granny and Sylvester share a evil look. Could THEY be Acme agents? The group take a safari and end up at the temple. Granny bids them farewell. (Phew. I guess they were all right.)

When they enter, Daffy sets off a booby trap by taking a small monkey-like object off a pedestal. Kate figures out that it’s a puzzle piece and quickly puts it into its spot. It reveals the path to the Blue Monkey as well as the gem itself. D.J. accidentally turns himself into a Capuchin monkey and Daffy tries to make off with the gem, but Bugs convinces him to change D.J. back. Then Granny and Co. show up and demand the diamond. Oh No! They were evil! Except not really. These were disguises! Granny and Sylvester reveal themselves to be Mr. Chairman and Bob. Tweety is Taz and he farts. (*sigh* I hate this part. Warner Bros. never had to reduce themselves to such immature humor in their heyday. If not for this blemish, the film would have been perfect.)

Mr. Chairman also reveals that he is really Damien! No wait, he’s Michael Jordan! No wait, he’s really MR. CHAIRMAN! (Funny.) Bob takes out a device that transports them all to Acme. Bob then reveals to Taz that he is really the Tasmanian She Devil. (Yeah, Taz was kind of wasted in this movie. Shame) At Acme, the transporting caused everyone to get spliced with one another. While we laugh, Mr. Chairman fixes everything, and finally gets the TV to work right. He shows that if D.J. does not give up the diamond, Damien will die by a train, exploding dynamite and an anvil. (But not the pendulum of doom. That’s overkill.) Wile E. overseeing all of this.

D.J. stupidly relents and Mr. Chairman does not release Damian. (Did you really expect him to?) He calls Marvin and tells him to go into space with the diamond. Marvin takes off and Daffy runs after him taking another ship that was being worked on by an Instant Martian. (I didn’t know they could talk.) To his dismay, Bugs is along for the ride. Back on the Earth, Mr. Chairman tells his prisoners that the gem will loaded onto a satellite that will turn everyone on earth into monkeys. (You gotta have really dedicated henchmen to go along with this.) Well not everyone. Mr. Chairman is going to be in a safe room with Mary as company. Told you she’d come back. (She doesn’t look too thrilled with her fate.)

Bugs and Daffy try get rid of Marvin by tricking him into rolling down his window so they can ask for directions. He is sucked out into space. (Daffy: “Well whatya know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you 5 bucks.”) But Marvin is not gone yet, he’s clinging to the underside of their ship. They arrive at the satellite and Daffy volunteers Bugs to go get the diamond out of the other ship. Meanwhile, D.J. and Kate have been tied up and left hanging by a rope near Damian. D.J. easily breaks free before realizing that there was a reason it was so easy to escape. Releasing themselves also releases an Acme robo-dog. (He kinda looks like Chester.)

Bugs runs into Marvin again, and takes on his bubble gun with his carrot light saber. Daffy is cowering and wondering what to do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Realizing he IS Duck Dodgers, Daffy grabs a jetpack that blows up before he can say his name. (It happens four more times.) D.J. and Kate are barely able to escape the dog by hooking his collar onto a hook. D.J. just barely rescues his dad, and Wile (who was piloting the train) blows up with the dynamite. In space again, Marvin traps Bugs in one of the bubbles, and the satellite is about ready to fire!

Daffy gets caught between two of the pylons and his beak detaches again. Using his skills he has learned from this happening all the time over his career, he throws his bill, (ignoring the fact there’s no gravity,) and it lands on the laser, blocking it. The laser begins to backfire. Bugs escapes and dispatches Marvin with his own gun and the satellite begins to explode. Only two shots of the laser escape Daffy’s bill. One flies off into space never to be seen again. The other flies down to Earth and hits Mr. Chairman who was checking to see if everyone was monkeys yet. (Yeah, how was he supposed to know? Were the simians going to tell him?)

Daffy saves Bugs from floating away and they return to the ship. The others find a sobbing Mary with the monkey Chairman. (I guess she really did love him.) He is arrested and Damian and D.J. hug. They quickly leave when they see the rocket coming towards them, and in the chaos, Mr. Chairmonkey runs away. (Perfect for a sequel methinks!) Daffy and D.J. congratulate each other on each proving how awesome they are. Kate admits that she likes D.J. and Bugs congratulates Daffy on finally getting to be the hero. Daffy gloats that Bugs never got him into is movie when the entire building gets taken away.

Yes, this whole story WAS the movie and Daffy was not aware of it. (Ma bear  returns to bring Bugs a towel. Cute that she still has feeling for him.) D.J. punches out Brenden Fraser, (Laugh) and Bugs admits that Daffy and him should be equal from now on. (While he is being given a cavalcade of carrots by cameo characters including: Charlie Dog, Heathcliff the cat from “Dough Ray Me-ow”, the squirrel from “Much Ado about Nutting”, Marc Antony and Pussyfoot, Egghead, Mr. Gruesome Gorilla, and Hippety Hopper.) Daffy barely avoids a falling stage light, and comments that his luck is already improving. He is then crushed by the Looney Tunes rings. My man Porky comes out to say his famous closing line but his stutter is worse than usual, and everyone in the cast leaves. Porky: “Go home, folks.” Not until I’ve seen the credits!

We get a rockin’ song matched with some animation. (Some of which I’m guessing is from deleted scenes.) At the end of all this, we get a post-credits joke. Daffy is running form Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith in the casino and pulls a slot machine. It stops on three cherries. The thugs happily hold out their hats, but the cherries are really bombs and they blow up!

What a great movie! My favorite film of all time.

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 1)

“It’s a little adventure I call: “Daffy Duck’s quest for the Blue Monkey!””

Great to be back. I’ve been waiting forever to blog about this. So let’s begin.

First: the plot. (I’m going to go into a lot of detail here.) Our film starts with magic: Elmer hunting for “wabbits.” Daffy, is of course changing the duck season signs to rabbit season. When Elmer shows up, Bugs does the classic switch line, and a quick montage of Daffy’s beak being blow off ensues. Daffy suddenly interrupts the cartoon. (But it was just getting to the good part!) He is reading a script, the script for this movie. He tells the Warner Brothers that this is a terrible idea for a film.

Bugs appears; he drops a few names. (I’m pretty sure it’s a tribute to Bob Clampett, Chuck Jones, and Mel Blanc.) He agrees to stay out of the movie, per Daffy’s request, but the vice president of comdey, Kate Hottan, (Jenna Elfman) says it can’t work without him. Daffy tells the studio heads to choose between the two of them, and he is promptly fired. (Look in the background. Poster’s for “Rabbit of Seville“, “Hair Raising Hare“, and “Baseball Bugs“.)

Elsewhere at the studio, (see this is already an improvement of “Space Jam“. It goes the “Roger Rabbit” route and makes toons real citizens. I love “Space Jam“, but even I can tell it’s not perfect. Confusing setting for starters.) A man named D.J. (Brendan Fraser) is auditioning for the role of a stuntman. (The Crusher is one of two people judging his performance.) He doesn’t get the job. We learn that his father, Damien, is the most popular star at the studio. D.J.’s main job is a security guard, but mainly because he doesn’t want to get any roles based on nepotism.

While washing a car, he sees Kate, escorting Daffy out. Bugs is following close behind. She tells D.J. to get rid of Daffy. While they chat Bugs switches places with Daffy because it’s funny, and Daffy escapes. D.J. goes after him in an amusing chase sequence. Daffy runs onto the set of a Batman movie and tries to steal the Batmobile. D.J. gets him but Daffy already turned the car on and it crashes into the water tower and floods the studio. (Hope the Warner siblings weren’t home.) D.J. is fired. (Sure it wasn’t his fault, but Daffy certainly isn’t going to vouch for him.) Kate and Bugs meanwhile, are at lunch.

Interesting cameos here. Porky and Speedy are currently out of work due to political correctness. Speedy I can begrudgingly understand. Not Porky. And unfunny? HOW DARE YOU! Heads will roll. Shaggy and Scooby are also there, telling Matthew Lillard they weren’t impressed with his live action role. One of my few problems with the movie. It’s an awesome joke that can only be pulled off in a movie like this, but why are they here at all? It’s called “Looney Tunes Back in Action”. I know that WB owns them, but they are not part of the title group! If you have to do this, go all out. Put in other Warner owned characters. Animaniacs. Teen Titans. The possibilities aren’t endless, but they’re tons of fun!

Bugs and Kate are discussing the movie. Behind them, Ralph and Sam are eating lunch together. Sam beats Ralph up for attempting to eat a sheep. Kate tells Bugs that he needs a female co-star. (Background images: pictures of Hugo the abominable snowman (“The Abominable Snow Rabbit”) Buddy, the Gremlin, (“Falling Hare“) and I think Chuck Jones. There’s also a poster for “Singing in the Rain” starring Bugs, Daffy, and Lola. Her only appearance in the film. And a missed opportunity for a special feature!) Bugs tells her that he plays females, as he demonstrates. This causes Michigan J. Frog behind him to start singing. Kate says that nowadays it’s creepy, and no longer funny. Wrong, woman. Bugs is one of the few guys who can do that and never look gay. (The demolition worker takes Michigan again. Probably going to try and sell yet another froggy evening.)

D.J. gets home and it turns out he lives next door to Granny, Tweety, and Sylvester. (Yes, she’s still played by June Foray.) Going inside, D.J. finds that Daffy followed him home. Daffy briefly bemoans the fact he was fired, but instantly perks up when he learns who D.J.’s father is. Even believing he’s a real spy. D.J. hears a ringing from his remote and turns on a recording of his father telling him to go looking for a diamond called the Blue Monkey, because Daffy was spot on: the acting was an act! He IS spy!. He also tells his son to locate someone named Dusty Tails in Las Vegas. Naturally, a promise of a diamond has Daffy volunteering to come along. They take a gremlin car that Daffy is convinced is a spy car. (The “Gremlins” theme plays. Brilliant easter egg.) They drive off, and with the space claer, the real spy car reveals itself.

At the studio, it’s pretty clear that the movie needs Daffy to work. Elmer actually ends up shooting Bugs! (And the rabbit is milking it for he’s worth.) Despite the fact that the heads were the ones who fired Daffy, they blame Kate. If she wants to keep her job, she needs to get him back by Monday. But that might be a mite difficult… After D.J. finally gets sick of throwing him out of the gremlin, Daffy mocks D.J. for being a security guard and D.J. tells him he’s really a stunt man, and did most of Brendan Fraser’s stunts. (Laugh, d*mn it!)

Bugs calls Daffy, saying that he can get his job back, but Daffy is not interested, telling of his plans to go to Vegas. Their conversation is being eavesdropped on by a company known Acme Corp. A man named Bob Smith tells the chairman of this news. The chairman (that’s his name, BTW,) has many Vice Presidents. Including ones for Rhetorical question, Child Labor, and Bad Ideas. (Steve Martin is hysterical here. You won’t convince me otherwise.) It’s revealed that he is the one who captured Damian and shows his people proof via camera. (After accidentally getting “I Love to Singa“.) He explains that soon he will be in total control of the world. (He also hits on one of his employees, Mary. Yes this is important.) He also tells his men to kill anyone who dares get in the way.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! Cliffhanger! If you don’t know the plot, please don’t go look it up elsewhere. I plan to continue tomorrow, I promise! (If you are reading this at a later time, then just read the next post. It’s finished, I promise!)