Category: Granny

A sweet old lady, but she won’t hesitate to protect her pets. Especially from each other.

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Red Riding Hoodwinked

“EEE! The big bad putty-tat!”

HEY GRANDMA! I BROUGHT A LITTLE BIRD FOR YOU! TA HAVE!

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Arthur Davis, Gery Chiniquy, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1955.

Quite the interesting way to start this tale! Ms. Foray tells about the hood of all things. It was worn by a girl, so they called her Red Riding Hood. (The hood meanwhile was named “Girl inside my body”) On this day, Red is going to visit her grandmother and is bringing her a gift. Namely, Tweety. This gets the attention of Sylvester who was in the middle of feasting on Trash Scraps TM. The girl gets on the bus with the cat following. (And crashing into a post since he wasn’t looking where he was going.)

As is the case with nearly all buses, it drops her off with still a distance to go and she skips through the woods the rest of the way. She is being watched by the Big Bad Wolf. (I thought that was the wolf from the 3 pigs story.) With quite the terrible memory as he needs a sign (that comes out of nowhere) to be clued in on her name. (Then again, how would he know her name in the first place? Has he tried this before?) She tells him of her plans before being on her way again. The wolf decides to take the shortcut to Granny’s place. (Why didn’t Red take it?) Along the way, he sends Sylvester a glare that warns him to keep out of his way. (“Now where was I going again? Oh yeah, Grandma’s house.”)

Since he took the shortcut he is the first to get there and shoves Granny out. (And I do mean Granny. It’s not some generic old woman in this tale.) He finds Sylvester already in the bed. (Somehow.) Then Red arrives and knowing that Sylvester could easily tip her off that something is amiss, has him hide under the bed. (He needs him nearby as he still can’t quite remember the kid’s name.) Red comes in to show her gift. A canary is hardly a meal for a wolf, so he has her place it on the ground. There, Tweety asks why the old woman is also under the bed.

Knowing that everyone has heard the dialogue before and knows it by heart, Red makes all her observations in one statement. The wolf and cat reveal who they really are and give chase. Sylvester accidentally slams a door on the wolf and brings him to with some water. Instead of being grateful, the wolf beats him with the pail. This allows their prey to make a getaway. They chase them outside, but the two cleverly run back in and lock the door. The wolf goes to the back and tries to break down that door, while Sylvester begins nailing a rubber band to the front. The wolf finally gets in the back way, and goes to let Sylvester in, (Guess he’s realized that the cat isn’t trying to eat girl meat and could actually make a decent ally.) just as Sylvester launches a rock at the non-budging door.

While he checks to make sure his pal is okay, the girl and the bird make a retreat to the bus stop, getting on a bus. The predators run faster than the vehicle to the next stop leaving their prey all but trapped. The bus stops for them and they shove past each other to get in. Then are immediately punched off by the bus driver, Granny herself. Don’t ever come between a grandmother and her granddaughter/pet.

Personal Rating: 3

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Tweety’s High-flying Adventure

“Humph! Mr. Popular.”

Directed by Karl Torege, Charles Visser, James T. Walker, Kyung Won Lim.

In case you haven’t noticed, all of the shorts I’ve talked about recently have had cats in them. Looney Tunes are chock full of them. And so is this direct to video movie which was sort of a series finale for “The Sylvester and Tweety Msyteries.” It’s not spectacular, but I still find it enjoyable. So let’s get started.

It’s October 2nd… I dunno, 2000 I guess, and Granny is living in London for some reason. She has two pets, namely Sylvester and Tweety. She is also a member of the Looney Club, which is located right next door to a children’s park that is going to close soon. Inside the club we see…COLONEL RIMFIRE? Wow! One of the last characters created for Looney Tunes. He doesn’t get roles anymore. Score one point for this film. He is busy ranting about the fact that he never caught his nemesis: Cool Cat. No, not that abomination created by Derek Savage. This character actually has earned his title. At least, I think he’s cool.

The colonel takes a little solace in the fact that he was bested by a creature that was smarter than him. Not just Cool Cat, but all cats. He believes cats are the smartest creatures on the planet. I disagree. Lucky for me, Granny is on my side, believing her canary to be the I.Q.-iest. Rimfire says he’d bet his savings on his claim, and she takes him up on it, hoping to use the winnings to restore the park. She claims that Tweety can prove this by not only going around the globe in 80 days, which would be December 21, (I’m still going with) 2000, but also collect 80 different paw prints. It’s a big challenge, but Tweety’ll do anything for Granny. (Is it just me, or does that calendar have a picture of one of the hunters from “Horton hatches the egg” on it?)

So he is given a passport to get stamped to prove he visited the locations. This gathers the attention of a shifty looking character in the crowd. It’s the Shropshire Slasher from the short “Deduce You Say“. He eyes Tweety’s passport with great interest and why not? The things might be rare soon. One’s already been stolen apparently. Sylvester meanwhile, plans on following the canary to make sure he and only he can have him for lunch. Outfitted with a tracking device, Tweety heads for his first stop in France. Not too long after starting, a wind blows him off course into the Alps. Lodged into the side of a mountain, he asks a nearby climber for help. Said climber is actually Daffy, who is sore about the fact this is not his movie and refuses to help. An avalanche happens but the two are saved by snowboarder Bugs Bunny.

It is now October 12, and Sylvester has been waiting in France this whole time. The script says that Tweety should have come here, could it be wrong? Nope. Here he comes now, being chased by Penelope Pussycat. She crashes into Sylvester’s table and gets a white stripe down her back, but that does not deter her from her purrrr-suit. (Weak, I know.) Not if Sylvester has anything to say about it. While they chase, Tweety gets his passport stamped by Pepe. He then points out something he thinks he’ll like: two skunks fighting over him. (It’s not really explained how Sylvester got a stripe as well.) With those two occupied, Tweety collects Penelope’s print and flies off for Italy.

Would you like to bet on whether or not Tweety will make it? Because his progress is being charted by Foghorn, Prissy, Henry, and Egghead Jr. And they’re accepting all bets. They believe he can do it. (Birds are encouraging like that) In Venice, Tweety stops at Pasquelles. This is the same restaurant Charlie Dog tried to make home in “A Hound for Trouble.” He’s still there, playing waiter. Tweety orders a plate of birdseed with marinara sauce. As all Americans know, Italian food is good eating, so it’s no wonder that Tweety leaves the place plump as a turkey. He can’t even fly anymore, so he hitches a ride on a gondola. But flightless, plump, juicy, succulent birds are vulnerable. Surprise! The owner of it is a cat, and there are more up ahead on a bridge. Tweety uses his new physique to bowl over them. He gets their prints, and a stamp for Venice. (Turns out his fat was just gas. If only I had that problem.)

Tweety’s trip has garnered more attention, and he is even mentioned by Lola on the news. Tweety makes it to Egypt and gets his passport stamped by a camel. (Who I think is Humpty Bumpty in a fez, but I can’t be sure.) Worn out, Tweety goes to sleep. But Sylvester must have gotten away form Pepe, and is back for more. (Please tell me he convinced him of his gender before it was too late.) After a scuffle, Tweety hides in the Sphinx. Granny wasn’t kidding about his smarts. He knows how to read Hieroglyphics. Turns out the place has a terrible fate for anyone who tries to head down a certain hall. Since Sylvester isn’t aware, he gets attacked by mummified cats.  They punch him hard enough to make a hole in the place for Tweety to escape from. He collects their prints and is on his way once more.

Landing in Africa (in the jungle of crayon drawn trees) he encounters the Mynah Bird. Since that guy doesn’t talk, Tweety just follows him hoping he’ll lead him to his next stamp. But he doesn’t look where he’s going and wanders into a lion’s mouth. (At least he found the stamp in there.) He leaves the mouth of the beast, (which looks more like a dog dressed as a lion to me) but almost immediately runs into Pete Puma. (Why’s he here?) The two corner Tweety in a tree. (No relation to the short “Tree cornered Tweety”) Luckily for him, the Mynah comes back and saves him by flinging the predators away. With that done, Tweety heads to Tibet. He gets to a souvenir shop where Gossamar gives him another stamp. (Why not?) Tweety also catches sight of some monk cats lead by Claude. (He may look different, but the voice is a dead giveaway.)

They are about to sacrifice a canary (who has hair) to their god. Tweety comes to the rescue in a snowball (picking up Hugo the abominable snowman along the way) and bowls over them. He looks just like their god and he demands that they release the bird, and knock off the canary sacrifices. Even though they agree, Tweety is a jerk and still sics Hugo on them. (But he does get their prints as well) He is joined by the other bird named Aooga. (No really.) After getting a stamp at China, the two are blown off course all the way to Mexico. At least they can get a stamp for there. (Courtesy of Speedy) Since they are down there, they stop by Rio as well. Rocky and Muggsy are hiding out there, but they still give them a stamp. And in Argentina they get another one form (Spike/Hector? Marc Antony? Just a bulldog?)

With the south taken care of, they fly back to Japan. (Seems the Slasher is still on the loose.) Afterwards, they decide to take a boat to their next destination. Sylvester has remembered he’s in this movie and prepares to dig in. But he’s caught by a ship hand and thrown in the galley to catch mice. The mice in question are Hubie and Bertie who are living a good life with all the cheese they can eat. Sylvester gives chase, but they use a bucket of soapy water to send him sliding off the ship. Even though he clasps on to the side, Tweety sadistically pries him off, sending him into the shark infested (badly animated) water below. But he does throw him a life saver. (The things he does for Warner Bros.)

The three drift to Australia. There, the passport is stamped by Hippety Hopper. (Why does he have a pouch?) And of course Sylvester thinks he’s a giant mouse. But this is also the home of the Tasmanian Devil who shows up and plans to eat some cat. Sylvester saves his hide, by encouraging a team up so they can both get canary. They chase after the birds on a bike, (Taz really seems to be enjoying himself) but the birds make their getaway with a convenient hang glider. Sylvester leaps onto it, leaving Taz alone in the air. (He holds out Wile E. holding out a ‘mother’ sign.) The birds fly off leaving the cat stuck on the glider, but he bumps into a wind surfer. (Is that the flying fish from “The sour puss” on his sail?) The birds land atop it as well, and ride to their next stop, San Francisco.

With the putty tat still on their tails, the birds ride a skateboard through no-color-ville to escape. Sylvester hops aboard a trolley driven by Yosemite Sam and shoves him out of the way. But he doesn’t really know how to work it, and ends up breaking the brake. With the vehicle out of control the two end up on Alcatraz much to Sam’s anger. The birds head off to Vegas, with Sylvester following on a train, an angry Sam chasing him the whole trip. (He has great endurance.) Once there, Sylvester manages to get Sam taken away on another train, but loses the birds in Chalk Vegas. They are hiding in a casino which just so happens to be full of cats. They are all betting against Tweety. If they were to be spotted, they would probably be chased down. Sylvester exposes their hiding spot and they are chased down. One cat catches Aoogah and I think Tweety shoves a pole up his butt. (What else could he have done with it?) Sylvester meanwhile has caused another cat to hit the jackpot. Pussyfoot is with her, are they related? Also the kitten makes itself comfortable on Sylvester’s head. (Adorable)

The two head off again. (The Slasher also is outside. Is that other guy naked?) The two birds head off across the country collecting prints along the way. They eventually make it to New York. (It’s full of Looney Tune advertisements.) They stop for a hot dog at a cart that is by a strange looking man in a trench coat. Tweety asks a weird question to Aoogah: What kind of hot dog would she be if she was one? (What.) Sylvester is the vendor, and plans to eat. During the scuffle, mustard is squirted all over the strange man, exposing him as Marvin. This confusion gives the birds a chance to get to the airport. Tweety is sad that the fun is almost over, and decides for one more challenge he’ll fly back to London on his own. He leaves his ticket with the stewardess and the birds head out. Sylvester meanwhile makes a pretty poor excuse for a poster that is framing Tweety as stealing the Passport. Good thing he showed it to a poor excuse for a cop who believes it. While this does not get him anywhere, he does get Tweety’s ticket. Guess he’ll meet them in London.

The birds meanwhile have flown into a hurricane. Not only does it remove Tweety’s tracker, making the world believe he’s gone, but it separates the duo. (Now all the world has left to enjoy is a man in a barrel. I’m not joking)  And Aooga had the passport! Tweety feels sorry for himself, since it seems like he’s not going to win like he always does. He hears Aooga’s call and lands on an island in the eye of the storm. (Home of the worst CGI trees I’ve ever seen.) Turns out the passport floats and after getting swarmed by some random cats, (Strange, but hey more prints.) They fly off to London once more. Arriving in a pub, they are grabbed by the Slasher. Turns out he was behind the passport theft all along! (Surprise surprise!) He collects the things. He stuffs it in his pocket, and Tweety probably would have been lost if he was alone. But Aoogah snatches it back.

The pollice arrive and the Slahser is forced to take off. Sylvester is with them, still clutching his poster. (I’m not surprised these guys believed it. They probably think all American posters are shoddily made.) Tweety has the passport and is presumed guilty. Sylvester takes it as Tweety is arrested and happily jumps in glee. But what’s this? There are two passports? And Tweety’s checks out. Leaving Sylvester holding the stolen one. Turns out the slasher stuck them in the same pocket he keeps his fish and chips in, and they got stuck together. (Gross.) Sylvester won’t be a bother to them now, but Tweety is sad. According to the subtitle, it’s the 22 and that mean he’s late. But Aoogah points out that they crossed a time zone and actually it is the 21st! There is stilla a chance! (Ummm. The sun rises in the east. So if it’s really the 21st in London, wouldn’t it be the 20th in America?)

They rush to the club. Rimfire points out that there’s only 79 prints. Tweety never managed to actually get Sylvester’s. Taking the passport back, he rushes to the police wagon and gets the last print! Rimfire reluctantly admits defeat, and it turns out one of the other members was Cool Cat all along. And he knew Tweety would succeed. Only someone who is truly cool will admit he’s not the smartest. For finding the missing passport, Tweety is knighted. Sylvester is still heading to prison.

Personal Rating: Looney-tics should have fun seeing how many characters are crammed in here. For them, 3. For the rest…3. (Only because I don’t have a 3.5 rating)

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 5)

Back at Acme, Mr. Chariman is gloating over the success of getting the phone. Damian still believes that D.J. will foil his plans. Mr. Chairman has the Peter Lorre scientist keep using a machine that makes Damien hit himself. Looking at the map photo, they see that Daffy got himself in the shot, making it useless. They decide to go face our heroes and bring their most dangerous operative: The Tasmanian Devil. (When the Vice President of “Never Learning” points out that he’s kinda dumb, Taz is allowed to eat him.)

In Africa, our heroes are making slow progress when who should appear? No not Inki. (That would’ve been an awesome but probably problematic cameo.) It’s Granny, Sylvester, and Tweety on an geographically incorrect elephant. (Yes, I know why they’re not using the African variety.) They offer them a ride. Bugs points out how they came at just the right time, and Granny and Sylvester share a evil look. Could THEY be Acme agents? The group take a safari and end up at the temple. Granny bids them farewell. (Phew. I guess they were all right.)

When they enter, Daffy sets off a booby trap by taking a small monkey-like object off a pedestal. Kate figures out that it’s a puzzle piece and quickly puts it into its spot. It reveals the path to the Blue Monkey as well as the gem itself. D.J. accidentally turns himself into a Capuchin monkey and Daffy tries to make off with the gem, but Bugs convinces him to change D.J. back. Then Granny and Co. show up and demand the diamond. Oh No! They were evil! Except not really. These were disguises! Granny and Sylvester reveal themselves to be Mr. Chairman and Bob. Tweety is Taz and he farts. (*sigh* I hate this part. Warner Bros. never had to reduce themselves to such immature humor in their heyday. If not for this blemish, the film would have been perfect.)

Mr. Chairman also reveals that he is really Damien! No wait, he’s Michael Jordan! No wait, he’s really MR. CHAIRMAN! (Funny.) Bob takes out a device that transports them all to Acme. Bob then reveals to Taz that he is really the Tasmanian She Devil. (Yeah, Taz was kind of wasted in this movie. Shame) At Acme, the transporting caused everyone to get spliced with one another. While we laugh, Mr. Chairman fixes everything, and finally gets the TV to work right. He shows that if D.J. does not give up the diamond, Damien will die by a train, exploding dynamite and an anvil. (But not the pendulum of doom. That’s overkill.) Wile E. overseeing all of this.

D.J. stupidly relents and Mr. Chairman does not release Damian. (Did you really expect him to?) He calls Marvin and tells him to go into space with the diamond. Marvin takes off and Daffy runs after him taking another ship that was being worked on by an Instant Martian. (I didn’t know they could talk.) To his dismay, Bugs is along for the ride. Back on the Earth, Mr. Chairman tells his prisoners that the gem will loaded onto a satellite that will turn everyone on earth into monkeys. (You gotta have really dedicated henchmen to go along with this.) Well not everyone. Mr. Chairman is going to be in a safe room with Mary as company. Told you she’d come back. (She doesn’t look too thrilled with her fate.)

Bugs and Daffy try get rid of Marvin by tricking him into rolling down his window so they can ask for directions. He is sucked out into space. (Daffy: “Well whatya know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you 5 bucks.”) But Marvin is not gone yet, he’s clinging to the underside of their ship. They arrive at the satellite and Daffy volunteers Bugs to go get the diamond out of the other ship. Meanwhile, D.J. and Kate have been tied up and left hanging by a rope near Damian. D.J. easily breaks free before realizing that there was a reason it was so easy to escape. Releasing themselves also releases an Acme robo-dog. (He kinda looks like Chester.)

Bugs runs into Marvin again, and takes on his bubble gun with his carrot light saber. Daffy is cowering and wondering what to do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Realizing he IS Duck Dodgers, Daffy grabs a jetpack that blows up before he can say his name. (It happens four more times.) D.J. and Kate are barely able to escape the dog by hooking his collar onto a hook. D.J. just barely rescues his dad, and Wile (who was piloting the train) blows up with the dynamite. In space again, Marvin traps Bugs in one of the bubbles, and the satellite is about ready to fire!

Daffy gets caught between two of the pylons and his beak detaches again. Using his skills he has learned from this happening all the time over his career, he throws his bill, (ignoring the fact there’s no gravity,) and it lands on the laser, blocking it. The laser begins to backfire. Bugs escapes and dispatches Marvin with his own gun and the satellite begins to explode. Only two shots of the laser escape Daffy’s bill. One flies off into space never to be seen again. The other flies down to Earth and hits Mr. Chairman who was checking to see if everyone was monkeys yet. (Yeah, how was he supposed to know? Were the simians going to tell him?)

Daffy saves Bugs from floating away and they return to the ship. The others find a sobbing Mary with the monkey Chairman. (I guess she really did love him.) He is arrested and Damian and D.J. hug. They quickly leave when they see the rocket coming towards them, and in the chaos, Mr. Chairmonkey runs away. (Perfect for a sequel methinks!) Daffy and D.J. congratulate each other on each proving how awesome they are. Kate admits that she likes D.J. and Bugs congratulates Daffy on finally getting to be the hero. Daffy gloats that Bugs never got him into is movie when the entire building gets taken away.

Yes, this whole story WAS the movie and Daffy was not aware of it. (Ma bear  returns to bring Bugs a towel. Cute that she still has feeling for him.) D.J. punches out Brenden Fraser, (Laugh) and Bugs admits that Daffy and him should be equal from now on. (While he is being given a cavalcade of carrots by cameo characters including: Charlie Dog, Heathcliff the cat from “Dough Ray Me-ow”, the squirrel from “Much Ado about Nutting”, Marc Antony and Pussyfoot, Egghead, Mr. Gruesome Gorilla, and Hippety Hopper.) Daffy barely avoids a falling stage light, and comments that his luck is already improving. He is then crushed by the Looney Tunes rings. My man Porky comes out to say his famous closing line but his stutter is worse than usual, and everyone in the cast leaves. Porky: “Go home, folks.” Not until I’ve seen the credits!

We get a rockin’ song matched with some animation. (Some of which I’m guessing is from deleted scenes.) At the end of all this, we get a post-credits joke. Daffy is running form Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith in the casino and pulls a slot machine. It stops on three cherries. The thugs happily hold out their hats, but the cherries are really bombs and they blow up!

What a great movie! My favorite film of all time.

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 1)

“It’s a little adventure I call: “Daffy Duck’s quest for the Blue Monkey!””

Great to be back. I’ve been waiting forever to blog about this. So let’s begin.

First: the plot. (I’m going to go into a lot of detail here.) Our film starts with magic: Elmer hunting for “wabbits.” Daffy, is of course changing the duck season signs to rabbit season. When Elmer shows up, Bugs does the classic switch line, and a quick montage of Daffy’s beak being blow off ensues. Daffy suddenly interrupts the cartoon. (But it was just getting to the good part!) He is reading a script, the script for this movie. He tells the Warner Brothers that this is a terrible idea for a film.

Bugs appears; he drops a few names. (I’m pretty sure it’s a tribute to Bob Clampett, Chuck Jones, and Mel Blanc.) He agrees to stay out of the movie, per Daffy’s request, but the vice president of comdey, Kate Hottan, (Jenna Elfman) says it can’t work without him. Daffy tells the studio heads to choose between the two of them, and he is promptly fired. (Look in the background. Poster’s for “Rabbit of Seville“, “Hair Raising Hare“, and “Baseball Bugs“.)

Elsewhere at the studio, (see this is already an improvement of “Space Jam“. It goes the “Roger Rabbit” route and makes toons real citizens. I love “Space Jam“, but even I can tell it’s not perfect. Confusing setting for starters.) A man named D.J. (Brendan Fraser) is auditioning for the role of a stuntman. (The Crusher is one of two people judging his performance.) He doesn’t get the job. We learn that his father, Damien, is the most popular star at the studio. D.J.’s main job is a security guard, but mainly because he doesn’t want to get any roles based on nepotism.

While washing a car, he sees Kate, escorting Daffy out. Bugs is following close behind. She tells D.J. to get rid of Daffy. While they chat Bugs switches places with Daffy because it’s funny, and Daffy escapes. D.J. goes after him in an amusing chase sequence. Daffy runs onto the set of a Batman movie and tries to steal the Batmobile. D.J. gets him but Daffy already turned the car on and it crashes into the water tower and floods the studio. (Hope the Warner siblings weren’t home.) D.J. is fired. (Sure it wasn’t his fault, but Daffy certainly isn’t going to vouch for him.) Kate and Bugs meanwhile, are at lunch.

Interesting cameos here. Porky and Speedy are currently out of work due to political correctness. Speedy I can begrudgingly understand. Not Porky. And unfunny? HOW DARE YOU! Heads will roll. Shaggy and Scooby are also there, telling Matthew Lillard they weren’t impressed with his live action role. One of my few problems with the movie. It’s an awesome joke that can only be pulled off in a movie like this, but why are they here at all? It’s called “Looney Tunes Back in Action”. I know that WB owns them, but they are not part of the title group! If you have to do this, go all out. Put in other Warner owned characters. Animaniacs. Teen Titans. The possibilities aren’t endless, but they’re tons of fun!

Bugs and Kate are discussing the movie. Behind them, Ralph and Sam are eating lunch together. Sam beats Ralph up for attempting to eat a sheep. Kate tells Bugs that he needs a female co-star. (Background images: pictures of Hugo the abominable snowman (“The Abominable Snow Rabbit”) Buddy, the Gremlin, (“Falling Hare“) and I think Chuck Jones. There’s also a poster for “Singing in the Rain” starring Bugs, Daffy, and Lola. Her only appearance in the film. And a missed opportunity for a special feature!) Bugs tells her that he plays females, as he demonstrates. This causes Michigan J. Frog behind him to start singing. Kate says that nowadays it’s creepy, and no longer funny. Wrong, woman. Bugs is one of the few guys who can do that and never look gay. (The demolition worker takes Michigan again. Probably going to try and sell yet another froggy evening.)

D.J. gets home and it turns out he lives next door to Granny, Tweety, and Sylvester. (Yes, she’s still played by June Foray.) Going inside, D.J. finds that Daffy followed him home. Daffy briefly bemoans the fact he was fired, but instantly perks up when he learns who D.J.’s father is. Even believing he’s a real spy. D.J. hears a ringing from his remote and turns on a recording of his father telling him to go looking for a diamond called the Blue Monkey, because Daffy was spot on: the acting was an act! He IS spy!. He also tells his son to locate someone named Dusty Tails in Las Vegas. Naturally, a promise of a diamond has Daffy volunteering to come along. They take a gremlin car that Daffy is convinced is a spy car. (The “Gremlins” theme plays. Brilliant easter egg.) They drive off, and with the space claer, the real spy car reveals itself.

At the studio, it’s pretty clear that the movie needs Daffy to work. Elmer actually ends up shooting Bugs! (And the rabbit is milking it for he’s worth.) Despite the fact that the heads were the ones who fired Daffy, they blame Kate. If she wants to keep her job, she needs to get him back by Monday. But that might be a mite difficult… After D.J. finally gets sick of throwing him out of the gremlin, Daffy mocks D.J. for being a security guard and D.J. tells him he’s really a stunt man, and did most of Brendan Fraser’s stunts. (Laugh, d*mn it!)

Bugs calls Daffy, saying that he can get his job back, but Daffy is not interested, telling of his plans to go to Vegas. Their conversation is being eavesdropped on by a company known Acme Corp. A man named Bob Smith tells the chairman of this news. The chairman (that’s his name, BTW,) has many Vice Presidents. Including ones for Rhetorical question, Child Labor, and Bad Ideas. (Steve Martin is hysterical here. You won’t convince me otherwise.) It’s revealed that he is the one who captured Damian and shows his people proof via camera. (After accidentally getting “I Love to Singa“.) He explains that soon he will be in total control of the world. (He also hits on one of his employees, Mary. Yes this is important.) He also tells his men to kill anyone who dares get in the way.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN! Cliffhanger! If you don’t know the plot, please don’t go look it up elsewhere. I plan to continue tomorrow, I promise! (If you are reading this at a later time, then just read the next post. It’s finished, I promise!)

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Bah, Humduck! (A Looney Tunes Christmas)

“What do I look like, an ATM?”

Merry Christmas to all who visit my humble blog! With Christmas nearby, it is time to talk about this direct to DVD movie.

It starts with our narrator, Bugs Bunny. He declares that even though rabbits are associated with Easter, he still loves Christmas. (Besides, remember the last Easter we saw Bugs? That’d sour anyone’s mood.) He is nearly hit by a limo. The owner of said limo? Daffy Duck. Owner of the Luckyduck Superstore. He has an awesome hover scooter, and not one speck of generosity. He refuses to help a poor, homeless, (Playboy) penguin, and steals the generosity bucket of carolers Egghead Jr., Henrey Hawk, Barnyard Dawg as a puppy for some reason, (?) and Priscilla Pig. (more on this cutie, later.)

Daffy has many employees working at his store. Including Sam Sheepdog, Miss Prissy, Charlie Dog, the Three Bears, a security guard (Gossamar) who is sitting on Santa (Cecil) Turtle’s lap, Foghorn Leghorn, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Claude Cat, Hubie and Bertie, Mac and Tosh, Beaky Buzzard, Hippitey Hopper, and  a (Pete) Puma janitor. (Just like his role in “Tiny Toon Aventures”!) He also has some employees with a bit more personality. Including Elmer Fudd, who works very hard, and is exhausted. Wile E. Coyote, who is constantly hungry, Marvin the Martian who is homesick and wishes to return home for the holidays, (Martian Christmas?) Speedy Gonazales who does wrapping, Pepe Le Pew, who tries to get to know a shopper who looks just like a skunk, (No really. Penelope just has a stripe.) and my man, Porky Pig, his assisstant manager. Whom Daffy shortly demotes to assisstant-assissant manager.

Bugs warns him that greedy people tend to get visited by Christmas ghosts. Daffy has no worry and heads to his office. There, he is visited by his idol, Sylvester the (Cat) Investor. He was the greediest person around, before he was murdered. Daffy now has that title, and is being warned that he must change his ways. He may be spooked, but Daffy is sure this is a prank, and pays it little heed.

After being visited by Bugs again, (He was searching for cheap skates, and was directed up here.) he gets a passage delivered by a Roadrunner. (I have no idea if he is an employee or not.) It is a gift Daffy sent to himself, a godly remote that can do just about anything for his office. His employees then come asking for favors, but are all snubbed. Porky just wants to have Christmas off so he can spend time with his daughter, Priscilla. (Now let me just say, that she is ADORABLE! Tara Strong really knows how to bring in a cuter than cute performance.)  Daffy refuses and demands that everyone come in at 5:00 AM the next day. (Where else are the last minute Kwanzaa shoppers supposed to go?) Everyone leaves discouraged.

Bugs is still there with Daffy as the exits are covered in snow. Daffy demands they separate and soon after, is visited by the ghost of Christmas past. Or rather ghosts. Granny and Tweety take Daffy back to his past, and we see how hard his childhood was. He lived at an orphanage, and was never adopted. Morons. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt the world’s funniest duck? (I said FUNNIEST, not most popular. And for that matter where is that swan? She took him in only to leave him behind?) This does little to change his ways and Daffy just wants to use their powers “Back to the Future 2” style to get more money. He is sent back to the store.

The ghost of Christmas present is played by… Yosemite Sam? I think you could have chosen a better character for that. Maybe switch with Sylvester? Anyways, he shows Daffy how hard his employees lives really are. Another adorable scene shows, that Priscilla wants two things for Christmas, a doll, and for her daddy to spend it with her. (Too. Cute.  Daffy is not convinced quite yet, and just begs Bugs to hide him from the promised third ghost, once he returns.

They reenact “Tom Turk and Daffy” but ultimately Daffy is taken away by the ghost of Christmas future, the Tasmanian Devil. He sees his grave, and learns that his employees are out of jobs, because he tried to will the store to himself. Porky remarks that at least he and Priscilla can spend Christmas together. (I meant she with Porky! She didn’t die yet, sickos!) Being an angel anyway, she leaves some cookies on Daffy’s resting place, (which look hilarious, since they look like him) and wishes him luck, since she knows he’s not in heaven. (*Laughing* Best joke right there!)

Daffy finally resolves to change his ways and the next morning, gives everyone a paid vacation, as well as a rocket home for Marvin, and a personal chef for Wile. (Francois from “French Rarebit”) Even Pepe gets a kiss from Penelope. (Her choice even! She wasn’t bribed!) Daffy sees how much his generosity is going to cost him, and briefly tries to take it all back. That’s when Priscilla offers him a hilarious looking cookie, and calls him “Uncle”. (I wish she’d do that to me.) Daffy remains generous to the delight of Bugs and the ghosts. We end with Priscilla saying our “That’s all Folks!” (Did i mention how adorable she is?)

Overall this short, is nothing grand, but if you are a Looney Tunes fan, you’ll enjoy it.

Personal Rating: 2 for the common folk, 3 for the Looney-tics.

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The Last Hungry Cat

“Sardines and milk wouldn’t have done it, you had to commit murder.”

Parody Time! It looks like “Hitchcock Presents”, but instead of a person its a bear. (I guess? It could just be a very strange hairdo.) He tells us a story. In this strory a one Sylvester the cat is about to break into Granny’s house and eat Tweety. Once grabbing him, he loses his balance on the stack of furniture he is standing on and everything collapses. Tweety uses this time to escape. Sylvester comes to and seeing the feather in his mouth deduces that he ate Tweety. Hearing Granny he makes his leave happy to have escaped.

The narrator works his nerves up by calling it murder. It doesn’t help when Sylvester walks by a newspaper hunting a criminal known as “The Cat.” He hides in a building. (I assume it’s his house.) He tries to relax by listening to the radio and reading but both things just add to his guilt. So he resorts to smoking and coffee drinking. (To calm his nerves I guess? I don’t think coffee does this, anyone care to explain?) He stays awake all night. While taking a sleeping pill shower he breaks down sobbing. The narrator tells him to give himself up and Sylvester agrees.

Upon arriving back at the scene of the crime he finds Tweety alive and well. His happiness soon turns to hunger, when Granny whacks him for trying to eat her bird. The narrator ends his tale and Sylvester throws a brick at him.

Personal Rating: 3

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Snow Business

“I’ll sthtarve!”

Sorry for the lack of update last week. I was forced to go camping and it took a lot out of me. In other news, I got a new person to visit here. (Give yourself a hand, ***.) So without further ado…

A blizzard is taking place and Granny can’t get to her cabin where her pets are. (And the man stopping her is no help “Well, I’m sorry ma’am”) In the cabin we see that the two pets are good friends. (Well Sylvester almost tries to eat Tweety, but he controls himself) They hear over a radio, that they are snowed in and worry they will starve. Tweety won’t because the only food available is birdseed. Sylvester thinks of something he can eat but he doesn’t tell Tweety what it is.

Instead he offers him a chance to go sailing (in a boiling pot of water) or skating. (in a pan of grease) This would work out great, but also in the cabin is a mouse who is starving and decides that putty tat is on the menu. Eventually, Granny makes it back to the cabin. To her surprise, the only thing she brought to eat is more bird seed.

Personal Rating: 3

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Aint She Tweet?

“Quiet Boys! Quiet!”

Despite what the title says, always remember: TWEETY. IS. MALE! He also happens to be for sale inside a pet shop. A hungry Sylvester throws a brick at the window to get inside, but when he notices the cop, he has to let the brick hit himself. He comes back with a glass-cutter but is too late. Tweety has been bought by granny who loves pets, and that means she has a yard full to the brim with bulldogs.

Sylvester goes over on a tree limb, but Tweety saws it off. He tries stilts, but Tweety gives the dogs tools to dismantle them. He tries a zip line but his weight causes it to lower him into the dogs reach. At one point it seems the dogs are gone, but they are inside. Sylvester manages to escape but a dumb old man thinks he’s doing him a favor and throws him back. (There was a sign you dumb old man)

He climbs into a package which turns out to contain dog food. (Granny wonders what has made them so hungry) At night he sneaks among them, only for Tweety to wake them up with an alarm clock.

Personal Rating: 3

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Gift Wrapped

“Oh goody goody! Thantny Clauth came for real!”

It’s Christmas morning and Sylvester is excited to see all the presents. (Some of which never get opened) He is disappointed to find one for him contains a rubber mouse instead of a real one. Granny’s gift is much more interesting a (canary) Tweety bird. He switches the tags and once Granny gets wise she has to force Sylvester to spit the bird out. (Sylvester has eaten Tweety a few times, he just never can keep him down)

As soon as she leaves, he goes after the bird again, still claiming he’s his present. Tweety tells him that a bigger one is for him and he opens it to find a bulldog who eats him instead. Granny comes to the rescue again. Sylvester uses a toy crane but only catches Granny, and when he reverses Tweety’s toy train so that it leads into his mouth, the dog eats him again. Granny saves all the animals and stamps their mouths shut. Christmas carols are then sung by all!

Personal Rating: 3

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Room and Bird

“Thomas Jefferson? Hes not the president no more, he’s dead.”

Sorry for the lack of videos. I can’t seem to find any worthy enough of getting a place on my blog of awesome.

This cartoon starts with a view of a hotel. Despite the fact that animals are not allowed inside, Tweety ans Sylvester are both snuck in by their owners: Granny and Not Granny. As luck would have it, their rooms are right next to each other and Sylvester overhears Tweety singing his trademark song. The chase is on but they have to worry about some man, (I assume he works at the hotel) who is on the look out for possible animals.

They have many close calls, but in the end, the man is sure that there are animals in the building, (although he has no proof) and demands, over the intercom, that whoever has them, to remove them. Just as he says this, he is caught in a stampede of animals.

Personal Rating: 3