Bah, Humduck! (A Looney Tunes Christmas)

“What do I look like, an ATM?”

Merry Christmas to all who visit my humble blog! With Christmas nearby, it is time to talk about this direct to DVD movie.

It starts with our narrator, Bugs Bunny. He declares that even though rabbits are associated with Easter, he still loves Christmas. (Besides, remember the last Easter we saw Bugs? That’d sour anyone’s mood.) He is nearly hit by a limo. The owner of said limo? Daffy Duck. Owner of the Luckyduck Superstore. He has an awesome hover scooter, and not one speck of generosity. He refuses to help a poor, homeless, (Playboy) penguin, and steals the generosity bucket of carolers Egghead Jr., Henrey Hawk, Barnyard Dawg as a puppy for some reason, (?) and Priscilla Pig. (more on this cutie, later.)

Daffy has many employees working at his store. Including Sam Sheepdog, Miss Prissy, Charlie Dog, the Three Bears, a security guard (Gossamar) who is sitting on Santa (Cecil) Turtle’s lap, Foghorn Leghorn, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Claude Cat, Hubie and Bertie, Mac and Tosh, Beaky Buzzard, Hippitey Hopper, and  a (Pete) Puma janitor. (Just like his role in “Tiny Toon Aventures”!) He also has some employees with a bit more personality. Including Elmer Fudd, who works very hard, and is exhausted. Wile E. Coyote, who is constantly hungry, Marvin the Martian who is homesick and wishes to return home for the holidays, (Martian Christmas?) Speedy Gonazales who does wrapping, Pepe Le Pew, who tries to get to know a shopper who looks just like a skunk, (No really. Penelope just has a stripe.) and my man, Porky Pig, his assisstant manager. Whom Daffy shortly demotes to assisstant-assissant manager.

Bugs warns him that greedy people tend to get visited by Christmas ghosts. Daffy has no worry and heads to his office. There, he is visited by his idol, Sylvester the (Cat) Investor. He was the greediest person around, before he was murdered. Daffy now has that title, and is being warned that he must change his ways. He may be spooked, but Daffy is sure this is a prank, and pays it little heed.

After being visited by Bugs again, (He was searching for cheap skates, and was directed up here.) he gets a passage delivered by a Roadrunner. (I have no idea if he is an employee or not.) It is a gift Daffy sent to himself, a godly remote that can do just about anything for his office. His employees then come asking for favors, but are all snubbed. Porky just wants to have Christmas off so he can spend time with his daughter, Priscilla. (Now let me just say, that she is ADORABLE! Tara Strong really knows how to bring in a cuter than cute performance.)  Daffy refuses and demands that everyone come in at 5:00 AM the next day. (Where else are the last minute Kwanzaa shoppers supposed to go?) Everyone leaves discouraged.

Bugs is still there with Daffy as the exits are covered in snow. Daffy demands they separate and soon after, is visited by the ghost of Christmas past. Or rather ghosts. Granny and Tweety take Daffy back to his past, and we see how hard his childhood was. He lived at an orphanage, and was never adopted. Morons. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt the world’s funniest duck? (I said FUNNIEST, not most popular. And for that matter where is that swan? She took him in only to leave him behind?) This does little to change his ways and Daffy just wants to use their powers “Back to the Future 2” style to get more money. He is sent back to the store.

The ghost of Christmas present is played by… Yosemite Sam? I think you could have chosen a better character for that. Maybe switch with Sylvester? Anyways, he shows Daffy how hard his employees lives really are. Another adorable scene shows, that Priscilla wants two things for Christmas, a doll, and for her daddy to spend it with her. (Too. Cute.  Daffy is not convinced quite yet, and just begs Bugs to hide him from the promised third ghost, once he returns.

They reenact “Tom Turk and Daffy” but ultimately Daffy is taken away by the ghost of Christmas future, the Tasmanian Devil. He sees his grave, and learns that his employees are out of jobs, because he tried to will the store to himself. Porky remarks that at least he and Priscilla can spend Christmas together. (I meant she with Porky! She didn’t die yet, sickos!) Being an angel anyway, she leaves some cookies on Daffy’s resting place, (which look hilarious, since they look like him) and wishes him luck, since she knows he’s not in heaven. (*Laughing* Best joke right there!)

Daffy finally resolves to change his ways and the next morning, gives everyone a paid vacation, as well as a rocket home for Marvin, and a personal chef for Wile. (Francois from “French Rarebit”) Even Pepe gets a kiss from Penelope. (Her choice even! She wasn’t bribed!) Daffy sees how much his generosity is going to cost him, and briefly tries to take it all back. That’s when Priscilla offers him a hilarious looking cookie, and calls him “Uncle”. (I wish she’d do that to me.) Daffy remains generous to the delight of Bugs and the ghosts. We end with Priscilla saying our “That’s all Folks!” (Did i mention how adorable she is?)

Overall this short, is nothing grand, but if you are a Looney Tunes fan, you’ll enjoy it.

Personal Rating: 2 for the common folk, 3 for the Looney-tics.

The Last Hungry Cat

“Sardines and milk wouldn’t have done it, you had to commit murder.”

Parody Time! It looks like “Hitchcock Presents”, but instead of a person its a bear. (I guess? It could just be a very strange hairdo.) He tells us a story. In this strory a one Sylvester the cat is about to break into Granny’s house and eat Tweety. Once grabbing him, he loses his balance on the stack of furniture he is standing on and everything collapses. Tweety uses this time to escape. Sylvester comes to and seeing the feather in his mouth deduces that he ate Tweety. Hearing Granny he makes his leave happy to have escaped.

The narrator works his nerves up by calling it murder. It doesn’t help when Sylvester walks by a newspaper hunting a criminal known as “The Cat.” He hides in a building. (I assume it’s his house.) He tries to relax by listening to the radio and reading but both things just add to his guilt. So he resorts to smoking and coffee drinking. (To calm his nerves I guess? I don’t think coffee does this, anyone care to explain?) He stays awake all night. While taking a sleeping pill shower he breaks down sobbing. The narrator tells him to give himself up and Sylvester agrees.

Upon arriving back at the scene of the crime he finds Tweety alive and well. His happiness soon turns to hunger, when Granny whacks him for trying to eat her bird. The narrator ends his tale and Sylvester throws a brick at him.

Personal Rating: 3

Snow Business

“I’ll sthtarve!”

Sorry for the lack of update last week. I was forced to go camping and it took a lot out of me. In other news, I got a new person to visit here. (Give yourself a hand, ***.) So without further ado…

A blizzard is taking place and Granny can’t get to her cabin where her pets are. (And the man stopping her is no help “Well, I’m sorry ma’am”) In the cabin we see that the two pets are good friends. (Well Sylvester almost tries to eat Tweety, but he controls himself) They hear over a radio, that they are snowed in and worry they will starve. Tweety won’t because the only food available is birdseed. Sylvester thinks of something he can eat but he doesn’t tell Tweety what it is.

Instead he offers him a chance to go sailing (in a boiling pot of water) or skating. (in a pan of grease) This would work out great, but also in the cabin is a mouse who is starving and decides that putty tat is on the menu. Eventually, Granny makes it back to the cabin. To her surprise, the only thing she brought to eat is more bird seed.

Personal Rating: 3

Aint She Tweet?

“Quiet Boys! Quiet!”

Despite what the title says, always remember: TWEETY. IS. MALE! He also happens to be for sale inside a pet shop. A hungry Sylvester throws a brick at the window to get inside, but when he notices the cop, he has to let the brick hit himself. He comes back with a glass-cutter but is too late. Tweety has been bought by granny who loves pets, and that means she has a yard full to the brim with bulldogs.

Sylvester goes over on a tree limb, but Tweety saws it off. He tries stilts, but Tweety gives the dogs tools to dismantle them. He tries a zip line but his weight causes it to lower him into the dogs reach. At one point it seems the dogs are gone, but they are inside. Sylvester manages to escape but a dumb old man thinks he’s doing him a favor and throws him back. (There was a sign you dumb old man)

He climbs into a package which turns out to contain dog food. (Granny wonders what has made them so hungry) At night he sneaks among them, only for Tweety to wake them up with an alarm clock.

Personal Rating: 3

Gift Wrapped

“Oh goody goody! Thantny Clauth came for real!”

It’s Christmas morning and Sylvester is excited to see all the presents. (Some of which never get opened) He is disappointed to find one for him contains a rubber mouse instead of a real one. Granny’s gift is much more interesting a (canary) Tweety bird. He switches the tags and once Granny gets wise she has to force Sylvester to spit the bird out. (Sylvester has eaten Tweety a few times, he just never can keep him down)

As soon as she leaves, he goes after the bird again, still claiming he’s his present. Tweety tells him that a bigger one is for him and he opens it to find a bulldog who eats him instead. Granny comes to the rescue again. Sylvester uses a toy crane but only catches Granny, and when he reverses Tweety’s toy train so that it leads into his mouth, the dog eats him again. Granny saves all the animals and stamps their mouths shut. Christmas carols are then sung by all!

Personal Rating: 3

Room and Bird

“Thomas Jefferson? Hes not the president no more, he’s dead.”

Sorry for the lack of videos. I can’t seem to find any worthy enough of getting a place on my blog of awesome.

This cartoon starts with a view of a hotel. Despite the fact that animals are not allowed inside, Tweety ans Sylvester are both snuck in by their owners: Granny and Not Granny. As luck would have it, their rooms are right next to each other and Sylvester overhears Tweety singing his trademark song. The chase is on but they have to worry about some man, (I assume he works at the hotel) who is on the look out for possible animals.

They have many close calls, but in the end, the man is sure that there are animals in the building, (although he has no proof) and demands, over the intercom, that whoever has them, to remove them. Just as he says this, he is caught in a stampede of animals.

Personal Rating: 3

The Bugs Bunny Show

“On with the show, this is it!”

During the sixties, “Looney Tunes” was on its last legs. Also during this time, Looney Tunes got its TV show. (Why not? It was the latest fad!) The premise was simple: Bugs showing us cartoons with various bridging sequences in between, such as Bugs feeding Taz carrots or Slowpoke coming to visit Speedy. The show was black and white which may have been odd today since all the shorts in the theaters were color, but color TV was only starting to get started. Lack of pigment  was a small price to pay for the convenience of watching animated masterpieces in your own living room.

Now for the bad news. This show is gone and you’re not liable to find any full episodes. (At least, as I’m originally writing this.) If you ever have seen, or have any somehow, you are quite lucky. Maybe you’d like to make the rest of the world feel as lucky as you?

Personal Rating: (From what little I’ve seen) 3

Space Jam

“You guys are nuts.”

“Correction, we’re Looney Tunes”

I love this movie, but then again, I am a Looney Tunes fanboy. It’s sad most of the world seems to hate it. I think that is bull crap. This is a masterpiece if ever there was one. At least it did great at the box office.

The history is that people made commercials with Bugs and Michael Jordan advertising basketball shoes. So they figured making a movie was a good idea. (I think it was.) Our plot is that a theme park in outer space, (it is not specified which planet, but I think the whole park is its own planet) sucks. (How can people say that? Didn’t you ever want to ride an Astro-orbiter wannabe that shoots at you? Oh yeah, me neither) The owner decides they need new attractions and figures that the Looney Tunes are just the thing. I’d come.

However, Bugs tricks them into thinking they need to give the toons a chance to defend themselves. Since the aliens are short and have tiny limbs, basketball seems like a shoe in. However the aliens have the ability to steal the ability from five NBA players. Luckily, Jordan was retired at this time. So they don’t nab him. The toons get him for their side and we get the greatest game in all history!

This also introduced us to Lola. She did not have much of a personality in this movie, save for being someone for Bugs to be attracted to. Seems she was popular though, as she appeared in “Baby Looney Tunes”, “Tweety’s High Flying Adventure”, and “The Looney Tunes Show.”

Bottom line if you hate this you have no taste and at the very least you have to watch it once. (There must be more who love this, I know it!) “Tune” in next time where I will name all the Looney Tunes who appear in the film as well as some interesting facts. Woo hoo hoo hoo! Woo hoo!

Personal Rating: 3. (Unless you’re one of those people who can’t stand anything Looney that came out after the Golden age. For you, it’s a 2.)

Tweety’s S.O.S.

“Hello, breakfast.”

 

This short begins with Sylvester digging through the trash. He can’t bring himself to eat what he finds, and he goes down by the pier to mope. As the title promises, he soon spies Tweety and, of course, he gives chase. However, Granny is also on the boat and she wont let the cat hurt her bird, BUT… she has a weakness. Without her glasses, she is blind. Sylvester kicks them under a couch and almost catches his meal, but Tweety gets the glasses just in time.

The ship begins its cruise and Sylvester paints a bad drawing of Tweety on Granny’s glasses so he can chase him round the ship. After a while he is found with his head over the side. Tweety asks if he lost something and he did… his lunch. Tweety tries to give him a snack, but it causes the cat to run to the sick room to down some antidote. The chase resumes, which ends up with Sylvester in the boiler.

He corners Tweety who holds up a picture of a boat and rocks it, causing the putty tat to get nauseous again. Tweety beats him to the sick room (Look, Hawley Pratt!) and switches the antidote with nitroglycerine. This gives Sylvester a new weapon and he would have caught the bird if Granny had not shown up. She hits him with her umbrella which causes him to sail into the sky. He lands on the captain ko-ing them both. Tweety and Granny then take over the ship.

Personal Rating: 3

Canary Row

“Dat putty’s gonna hurt himself if he’s not more careful.”

In a birdwatchers society, Sylvester is spying on Tweety. Seeing the cat through his own binoculars, Tweety is well aware of what’s to come. Sylvester runs into the opposite building, but is kicked out as dogs and cats are not allowed in. He tries climbing a drain pipe but Granny throws him down. (In this short, she is voiced by Bea Bennadaret.) He tries again climbing in the pipe, but Tweety throws a bowling ball down. He tries a monkey disguise that does not fool the old lady. Then he somehow sneaks in and hears Granny saying she is checking out. (But it’s an apartment.) He disguises himself as a bellboy to get her luggage but when he opens the cage, he finds Granny in there.

Apparently, she was not leaving, as Sylvester is still trying to break in. He uses a lever and tosses a weight on the other end. It bounces him up, and he grabs Tweety, but upon landing the weight lands on his head. Swinging over just makes him crash into the wall. Finally, he tries to get over by crawling over an electric wire. A trolley comes along, which repeatedly shocks him. As he runs off, we see it’s Granny and Tweety piloting the trolley.

Personal Rating: 3