Category: Frank Tashlin

No director left and came back as much as this guy. Good thing he was worth rehiring.

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Booby Hatched

“Who turned off the heat?”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

You know what this Sunday is? If you don’t then go look at a calendar.

Sorry. That was rude. (You may not even have a calendar.) It is Mother’s day. And one of the sweetest things to me, is the relationship between mother and child. How they are willing to die for them, and how the child sees the mother as essentially an almighty superhero, who can protect them from anything. I’m rambling. Let’s talk about a short dealing with such love.

It’s winter, and a duck (with teeth) is desperately trying to hatch some eggs. (She also has no name. I shall call her Ethel.) It is really cold, and the eggs have begun to turn blue. (The father was a smurf.) She holds them up to a light to see inside, and finds the soon to be ducklings sneezing, warming themselves by a stove, skating and skiing. (At least they’re not dead.) She does her best to keep them warm, but the poor things are below subzero! Time for drastic measures.

As much as it pains her, Ethel sticks her rump right up to a lantern. She’s in agony, but a true mother won’t let her children die, if she can help it. When she’s done, she goes over. The eggs hatch before she sits down. (“Don’t do it! We’ll come out.”) I guess it’s warmer outside than in an egg, so the new family heads down to the pond for a swim. Uh Oh! One egg didn’t hatch all the way. Craving warmth, the egg with legs goes off to find his mother. Ethel meanwhile, is doing a head count and finds that her little Robespierre (such a great name for any generation) is missing.

Finding his footprints, she follows them into the woods. Robespierre is nearly dead, but finds his mom wearing a fur coat. (A bear.) And he slips under “her.” The bear takes it rather well. (“So I laid an egg.”) But this was all seen by a hungry wolf. Wait, is that William? No, his mailbox says he is known as B. B. (So he’s a transvestite. Because Bebe? Forget it) He uses some TNT to blow the bear off, and happily takes his prize home. The bear takes it rather well. (“Dreams like this, worry me, ya know.”) B.B. runs into Ethel on his way back, and the two keep swiping Robespierre from the other. Eventually, Ethel gets home with a doorknob.

B.B. is preparing some egg drop soup, when Ethel returns and pokes his eyes through the key hole. She then rescues her son. Is he grateful? Heck no, he was finally getting warm. He dives back in.

Personal Rating: 3

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I Got Plenty of Mutton

“Ohhh my precious…BAAA!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

It’s a little late to say this, but it is the year of the sheep according to the lunar new year calendar. So let’s talk about a sheep short, shall we?

Due to an O.P.A. ruling, there is no meat for wolves. A crisis, seeing as how they are carnivores. One fellow, tries to make the best of his situation and sets some water to boil. This wolf (who I shall call William) makes sure no one watches as he grabs a very precious ingredient for his soup. A single, tiny bone. He dunks it a few times and puts it back in his hiding place. Alas! While his back was turned, mice sipped every drop. William has no choice to adapt to a herbivorous diet.

While eating his steamed pea, he glances at the paper. What luck! A local sheepdog has left his herd to join the army. Easy pickins! William tosses his precious bone away and heads out. Look at all the tasty morsels. He dives in and finds himself face to face with a ram. Pulling out the paper again, William sees that the article went on to explain that a ram named Killer-Diller. (No relation to any “Thugs with dirty Mugs“) is now guarding the flock. (It even helpfully points out that the ram in front of him is Killer) The ram butts William away.

William in turn gets a box that’s just labeled “Costume.” Said costume is a ewe. (I guess it’s supposed to be sexy, but it freaks me out. Maybe if I was fleecy.) He pretties himself up and readies some weapons to take Killer down. Killer likes what he sees. There’s no other word for it: he’s horny. His horns even uncurl, point straight out, and turn red! (I feel a little uncomfortable seeing that.) He rushes over to whisper sweet nothings into “her” ear. William tries to club him, but the shock knocks his costume off. By “shear” luck though, he manages to get it back on and lures Killer to follow him. He drops a safe on the ram, but he pops right out to continue his session. (His hooves turn white briefly.)

William tries to fire a cannon, but Killer is in there too and continues to smooch the poor creature. William makes a run for it with Killer in hot pursuit. Later that night, William is still on the “Lamb” but he is getting tired, while Killer still has plenty of steam. Deciding it’s not worth it, William breaks the charade and tears the costume off, revealing he’s a wolf. Killer doesn’t mind: He’s one too! Figuratively! Iris out on the chase going off into the moonlight.

Personal Rating: 3

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Puss N’ Booty

“Have you any more canaries?”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1943

When Merrie Melodies first came out, the main difference between them and their Looney counterparts was that they did not have a main character. As time went by, Merrie Melodies became the shorts that were colored, and Looney Tunes were still black and white. This here is the last black and white one. After this, I have no idea what the difference was between the two, if there was any.

A lady (Bea Benedarret) comes home and finds her canary, Dickie, gone. Rudolph the cat hasn’t seen him, but seems genuinely worried, and helps search. (After he hiccups some feathers.) As soon as his owner leaves the room, he whistles like a bird and opens a window. She comes back to find the cat sobbing and waving goodbye. That makes 5 canaries gone in one month. Most people would give up and consider it a waste of money. But not (let’s call her) Megan. She calls the pet shop  up to see if they have any more of those birds. (Rudolph prays for a yes.)

Happy days! They will send another one right over. Rudolph obviously has a severe case of gluttony as he paces back and forth many times and gets excited at every passing truck. (Canaries must be really tasty. Anyone have a recipe?) Finally, the truck shows up with the newest addition to the family, Petey. Megan loves him very much and gives him plenty of seed, telling him to eat it all and grow up big and strong. (Rudolph agrees with that statement.) She also gives the cat a saucer of either milk or cream, (whatever one gives them) and leaves the room. Rudolph spits out the dairy and immediately enters vicious mode. He pounces, but Petey is quite the resourceful bird and flies up, lifting his cage to safety, and making Rudolph crash. (Forget the seed. I think he’s plenty strong already.)

Rudolph ties the cage down, (and I can’t help but think if he was able to do that, he could have already snatched Petey.) and pounces again. This time the bird opens both of the doors and Rudolph crashes again. That night, Rudolph gets into Petey’s cage and a huge fight ensues. Megan comes downstairs and finds Rudolph missing. She asks a sleeping Petey if he’s seen her, but he hasn’t. However, before the short ends, he does hiccup Rudolph’s ribbon. Don’t mess with a bird that makes the food chain his hen.

Personal Rating: 4

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Cracked Ice

“I can almost feel pneumonia, embracing me in its icy grip.”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1938

This short starts eerily similar to the Mickey Mouse short “On Ice”, which was released 3 years earlier. Many creatures are enjoying some ice skating, and we get a few sight gags. Like a centipede’s segments scattering away from it’s body, and a fish skating in a pelican’s mouth. One bird is jumping over barrels. He messes up on the final jump and lands in a open area of the ice. His screams are heard by that W.C. Fields pig caricature we saw in “The Coocoo nut Grove.” (Obviously, his name is W.C. Squeals.) He begins to help the best way he can: calling for someone to help the bird out.

A St. Bernard hears the cries and comes to the rescue. He hauls the bird out, picks him out of his icy prison, and makes him a drink via the various liquors in his barrel. (For the record, it wouldn’t actually help.) This drink succeeds in warming the bird up. But now, Squeals is claiming he needs some too. He is deathly ill, otherwise he wouldn’t touch the stuff. The dog ignores him, so Squeals tosses a boulder into the water, and calls for help. (Even yelling “Splash. Splash.”) The dog comes back and finds he is lying on the ice. Out Cold. (Get it? Don’t laugh. It wasn’t funny.) The dog quickly mixes up another drink… and drinks it himself before leaving.

A voice begins laughing at Squeals. To those of you who don’t know your W.C. Fields lore, you’d think it was just a voice from the audience. To those of you who do know your W.C. Fields lore, you’ll know that it’s Charlie Mcarthy mocking him. (I did not know this was something the two did. I had to learn it from the commentary on my DVDs.) Squeals vows to get the goods. He fills up a plate with bones and sends it sliding towards Fido. Before the dog can chow down, Squeals uses a magnet to keep the dish just out of reach. The dog gives chase and Squeals realizes too late, that he’s going to crash. The impact sends the magnet into a hole in the ice, where it gets stuck on a fish.

While it struggles with it’s new accessory, the dog’s brandy (which was nowhere near the hole) begins to leak into the lake. The fish becomes a “pickled herring” if you will, and swims around drunk. The magnet pulls an axe above the ice after it, and the fish ends up using said axe to cut a hole in the ice around that bird from earlier. Squeals meanwhile, has come to and gets ready for a drink. The fish comes back, and Squeals’s skates are pulled along. The fish drags him to an ice skating competition, where it plays on a clock, (That is just under the ice. Don’t question it) and swims away from a bigger fish. Squeals is pulled along the whole time, and ends up winning the contest.

He is awarded a big trophy. He thanks everyone, (Mentioning Termite Terrace as well. Good brown snouting.) and pours the alcohol into the trophy to drink. Before he can indulge, the fish comes back and ends up dragging the trophy away from Squeals. (Much to Charlie’s delight)

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky the Fireman

“Scram outta here!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1938.

The alarm goes off at Hook and Ladder Co. No. 1! Porky and the rest of the crew speed off to fight the fire. (Stopping in front of some product placement.) The men punch in, Porky too. (In fact, he wins the lottery doing that.) They begin their duties, but of course, problems arise. Porky yells for the water to be turned on. The little guy by the hydrant slowly and in the most indirect pathway possible walks over to ask what Porky said. Then he walks all the way back in the same manner.

The fire is fierce and refuses to go out without a fight. Many people are still inside as well. A fat woman screams for help, and the little guy climbs the ladder, grabs her, and drops her. (Favorite part.) An old man jumps out the window and uses his beard as a parachute. Another person falls though a smoke cloud and comes out as an unfunny blackface caricature. Porky is so bass (short for bad @$$) that he can scoop the fires into a bucket before putting them out in a fishbowl. A montage of events we just saw take place until finally the fire is out. Or is it? One little flame cautiously peeks out of the rubble and is instantly squirted by the crew. It retaliates by squirting them all back. The villain won this time.

Personal Rating: 3

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Plane Daffy

“You think I’m a Benedict Whoozits, or somethin’?”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

You know what is one of the most heroic birds? Carrier pigeons. Unintentional or not, these amazing birds were the mail carriers we needed during WWII. But alas, they are not quite at the top of the food chain, and did fall prey to falcons. I mention this, because the short is based on these birds. In a parody of “Dawn Patrol” we see a bunch of pigeons worriedly puffing cigarettes dry in one puff. Seems Homer Pigeon is A.W.O.L. and indeed he is. He is the company of the falcon, Matta Hari! (I like to think she’s a falcon, because a traitor pigeon is tainting my image of these wonders.)

Much like in the Private Snafu short “Censored”, he is slowly led to leaking info to the axis. As dumb as he sounds though, he’s no stool pigeon and refuses to tell. Matta (voiced by Sara Berner. Who you might know as Beaky Buzzard’s mom.) in turn, makes him a drink and once it’s been drunk he can’t stop blabbing. Hitler hears it all and Homer, sadly shoots himself in shame. (Outside of course. Don’t want to make a mess.) What can be done? All the other pigeons can’t do it, because they will just as likely fall prey to her seducing. The answer lies not in a pigeon, but in a duck!

Daffy vows to deliver a secret document, and he won’t be sidetracked because he hates women. (Easy now ladies, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.) He takes off and neither wind, hail, rain or sleet can stop him. He even flies past Matta’s place without a second glance. Until she shows some gam. Then he’s reeled in. (See girls? He may hate your personality, but no straight man can resist your meat.) Daffy isn’t all lost though. Inside, he does his best to not play her games, but her kisses are literally electrifying! He melts away into a crack, but quicky un-melts as soon as she tries to see his paper. He gives her a kiss of his own and she sparks too. Daffy runs but can’t seem to escape her. So, why doesn’t he just leave? It’s scary outside.

Eventually, she has him pinned to the wall with a gun. Daffy shows her! He eats the paper so she can’t ever get it. (Although he regrets having only one secret he can swallow for his country.) Not to be deterred, Matta straps him into an x-ray and phones up the fuhrer to see it. (Wb was ahead of their times. The first skype!) Hitler, Hermann Göring and Joseph Goebbels eagerly look to see. What’s the message? “Hitler is a stinker!” (HAH!) Hitler is understandably mad, as that is no secret. His cronies agree as everyone knows that. (One of the best lines ever.) Embarrassed at their blunder, they shoot themselves. I think we have this war in the bag!

Personal Rating: 4

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Porky’s Railroad

“Am-scray you m-m-mess of t-t-t-bones!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1937

We see the 515, which is a huge speeding train! Obviously, this must be Porky’s vehicle. Why else would his name be in the title? Guesswhatit’snot. Porky is the engineer of a more humble locomotive. Less of a 515, and more of a 13 1/2. Her name is Toots and she’s a crack train. (And so is her driver. Their words, not mine!) How slow is Toots? A snail is easily able to outpace her. But then, she is powered by a lone candle. Plus the occasional sprinkle of pepper to give her a speed boost.

Porky is forced to take a stop as their is a cow on the tracks who refuses to move. Of course, she does move when she feels like it, but while she leaves, a bull passes her by and heads into some nearby bushes. Porky missed this, and when he sees a tail on the tracks, he naturally assumes it’s the cow again. He pulls on it, but luckily finds out it’s not a cow in time, and he speeds off. But more bad news threatens to spoil his day, as the dispatch office is told that Porky’s train should be taken off the rails. A character named I. Fuller Cinders is to take his place in his shiny new ride, “The Silver Fish.”

Porky is sad, but proves he is mature by wishing Cinders good luck. He seems like a decent enough fellow, but he does have the gall to insult Toots. Porky actually confides to us that he is sure his train would win in a race. (He can see me!) Cinders heard it too, and accepts. The race begins and Cinders is clearly the owner of faster material. The Silver Fish can leap over boats, whereas Toots has to drive over them. (Clever nod to Schlesinger’s boat. Why else would it be called the S.S. Leon?)

As Porky is crawling along, he passes by that bull from earlier. And wouldn’t you know it? He’s still mad about Porky pulling his tail. He charges into Toots and the resulting momentum propels her over the finish line! Porky wins and is the new captain of The Silver Fish. (Poor Cinders, that was probably his first day on the job.) And Toots? Well, I guess Porky doesn’t want her anymore as she is a passenger on the new train, heading for the last hoosegow. Rest well ole girl. You did great out there.

Personal Rating: 3

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You’re an Education

“Calling all countries! Calling all countries!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin. Released in 1938

This short takes place in a travel agency, where the brochures come to life. We see many different countries mixed with appropriate music gags. Hawaii plays “Aloha-oe”, Oxford plays “We’re working our way through college”, Scotland plays “The cambells are coming”, Africa plays “Conga”, and Mexico plays “La Cucaracha.” All the racial stereotypes cheer. “Cuba” plays a tuba and “India” plays that pipe, that snake charmers play. “Little America” and “Asia Minor” shake their rattles to the music, and a fish from the “Indian Ocean” does a war chant.

While the title song plays, two “Hungary” fellows visit the “Cook Islands” to fill their rumbling bellies. But why stop there? They get “Twin Forks, Minnesota” and load up their plates with “Turkey”, “Sandwhich (Islands), some “Thousand Island” dressing, “Hamberg(er)”, “Oyster” (Bay), and some “Java” to drink. While they tuck in, the thief of “Bagdad” sets about robbing the “Kimberly Diamond Mine.” He unlocks the door with the “Florida Keys” and tries to make off with his prize. However, he accidentally steps on a toy duck, waking a baby. It’s “Wales” alert everyone and many troops like the “England” guards and “Canada” Mounties rush after him.

He is found trying to sell the diamond to the “Pawnee” Indians and he tries to run for it. The “Pisa” tower blocks his path, he is poked by “West Pointers”, and must take cover from an erupting “Mt. Vesuvius.” His hiding place in the “London” fog, is revealed by the “Holland” windmill. A man from a “Dude Ranch” lassos him and drags him through the “Red, Black, and Yellow” seas. (Turning him many different colors) “Italy” uses its shape to kick him and he lands on the horse of the Lone Stranger. They gallop off together. (Huh. The villain won.) Interestingly enough, the Lone Stranger would reappear a few months later with Porky.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky in the North Woods

“When I catch him, I will tear him limb from tree!”

Directed by Frank Tash. Released in 1936

Porky is the proud owner of a game refuge. There is absolutely no hunting, trapping, fishing, and firing around. Sounds great. All the animals definitely think so. But a evil character named Jean-Baptiste, is out setting bear traps, fishing, and just tossing torches around any dang way. (It’s Billy Bletcher again. Who I’m just now realizing has played many of my favorite villains: The Big Bad Wolf, Lawyer Goodwill, The Yellow Scientist, The Pincusion man, just to name a few.)

Cut to two beavers. One named Benny. (Although I’ve read alternate sources saying it’s Betty) who is in the middle of a game of leapfrog with another. (Who I will call either Benny or Betty. Whichever the other one isn’t.) They spy an apple and rush forwards eagerly. But apparently there is only enough for one, and after the tussle, Benny/Betty happily grabs his/her prize. Surprise! It’s a trap. (For shame Jean, hunting beavers with a bear trap.) Betty/Benny runs to go find Porky. (But not before helping herself/himself to the now safe apple.)

She/he gets Porky and he comes back to free the other. (Who is voiced by Bernice Hansen.) But there’s more trouble. A rabbit somehow got only it’s ears caught in one. (How did it end up doing that?) And a weasel got it’s whole body caught in another. (All right I’m going to say it. You purposely let that happen. Masochist.) Jean meanwhile, is not happy to find all of his traps empty, and vows to make Porky pay. Porky however, isn’t running away, he’s running a first-aid station, where he irons out all the animals bodies to straighten them out again.

Jean finds this, and marches in. (And gets his fingers ironed.) Caught, Porky has no chance of escape and Jean roughs him up quite a bit. (Clearly he’s the victim here. I mean his illegal traps were robbed.) Seeing Porky in danger, one of the beavers pulls an alarm (Moose) and alerts all of mother nature’s finest. Bears! Skunks! Turtles? (I figure they’d be hibernating.) All coming to the rescue. Jean tries to flee on skis, but the animals still beat him up with various tools and send him headfirst into the snow, leaving only his skis above ground. The beavers in turn, make this into a see-saw.

Personal Rating: 3

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Now that Summer is Gone

“Poppa needs a new pair o’ shoes.”

Directed by Frank Tashlin. Released in 1938.

Another year has gone by, and in the tradition of updating each year, I will now list the year in which the day’s featured short was released. So, let’s begin.

It’s Fall, and that means the squirrels are busily storing acorns for the winter to come. All except one little squirrel. Work is for those who don’t like to have fun. He’d much rather gamble for them. He wins and the other all storm off. (What poor losers.) Unfortunately, the squirrel’s father shows up and scolds him for his deeds. (The other squirrels laugh and tell him that gathering acorns is the right way to do it. Hypocrites.) Despite his dad’s warnings, Jr. keeps it up and wins all the time. Soon enough, it’s time to go get their acorn supply from the “nutional bank.” His dad reminds him to not gamble while doing so, but he immediately runs into another squirrel who offers to play with him.

Admist a montage of dice, cards and roulette wheels, the little squirrel steadily loses everything. (Obviously that older guy is cheating.) With nothing left to win, the gentleman leaves and Jr. sadly heads home. Once there, he begins telling a tale of how bandits beat him up and stole the acorns. (They must’ve been nice enough to clean him up afterwards.) Too engrossed in his fib, he doesn’t notice his dad putting on the disguise he was wearing. (Are you shocked?) But he does soon enough. Having caught his delinquent son in the act, his father plans to give him ten lashes. Has Jr. learned his lesson? Will he take the punishment like a man? Heck No! He offers double or nothing but gets paddled anyway. We hear his cries of pain all through the ending.

Personal Rating: 3