Bosko the Drawback

“Are you listening?”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Bob McKimson. A Looney Tune released in 1933.

Tomorrow is July 4th. That day is pretty important to my country. And to celebrate that, what could be more patriotic than football? American football. The one where hands are involved. (Everyone knows we are a dumb country. It’s okay to say it.)

Game day! The crowds are eager to get inside and see some action! That includes Mickey clones 213, 514, 726, 556, and 715. (Only 751 before I’ve named them all!) As the title suggests, our hero that we should be rooting for is Bosko himself. Never again will you see the very epitome of athletic superstardom. And he’s getting one heck of rubdown. Kinda makes me uncomfortable. Actually, him too. He starts out enjoying it, but his handler really goes all in with his work.

Time for the kickoff! (I think that’s what the beginning of the game is called. Why would you think I’d know anything about any sport?) Bosko gets the ball and makes some good distance. All thanks to their dachshund play. You know the one. That play where you have a German wiener dog running in front of you in a pointed shape, thus knocking your opponents away. (Well, as long as there isn’t a pile-up of them.) Such an exciting game, that even Mortimer Mouse clone number one can’t help but cheer. (Which is hard to do with a broken foot.)

Just to remind you this is American, (I guess) we get an eagle perched atop ole stars ‘n stripes. (These were the good days, when there was only sixteen states. Let’s be real, the rest are just filler.) On the field, a caterpillar who I thought was just a member of the band, runs, despite getting tackled apart, slowly, segment by segment. And what about that crowd? Making an image of a talking head? Complete with raspberry action? Why are we paying the athletes millions of dollars?

Bosko’s got some real competition now. The hunchback of Notre Dame! (He’s may be an ape, but he earned that title.) And a random title card introduces us to the four horsemen, Boris, Morris, Loris and Porous. (Why couldn’t you announce them, Bosko? Your millions not paying enough? Entitled little…!) Bosko runs away, then in the next shot he’s running in the opposite direction. Because he’s about to pull the other classic dachshund maneuver! Using the dog to launch yourself over the goal! I think that means the game is over and Bosko’s team won. If only all sports games could finish in under seven minutes.

Favorite Part: I like the look on Bosko’s face when his masseuse (for lack of whatever the real term would be) snaps his neck. (He’s a toon! He’s fine!)

Personal Rating: 2

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