Category: Foghorn Leghorn

Listen, I say listen up! These here are all the posts that contain the world’s favorite chicken. Rooster, that is!

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Crockett-doodle-doo

“So I’m not a smart hunter.”

He’s practically an education!

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Warren Batchelder, Tom Ray, George Grandpre, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Bob Singer; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on June 25, 1960.

It’s a beautiful day! And you should take advantage of every one of those, since Earth’s stupid axis keeps weather from being pleasant 24/365.25. Foghorn decides to spend it out in the wilderness. As he goes on his way, he sees Egghead Jr. (making a final appearance) enjoying the day the way I would: face planted in a book. Back in these days, a good chunk of adults didn’t understand that it’s a perfectly healthy way to spend one’s childhood. Foghorn decides to help out.

He’s not a moment too soon, as those difficult books have done something to Egghead’s head. When he means yes, he shakes his head, and nods for a no. That’s Foggy’s assessment anyhow, and I’m not going to doubt anyone with a dead raccoon on their noggin. The kid’s coming along and he’ll learn everything there is to know about roughing it. I’d come along, but I failed killing a trout with my bare hands back in my school days. If M&M’s weren’t around, I’d have starved long ago.

First step is getting a fire going. Without matches because those don’t exist in the wild. I don’t know if Foggy is doing it wrong, but it looks like it could work. Just would take time and effort, like all best things in life. But brains mean we can do things faster, cheaper, and supposedly better! Jr. demonstrates by making a match out of a stick. Foghorn deems the stunt impossible, and tries it himself. The stick doesn’t ignite, but his plumes do.

Once you’ve got a fire, you might as well get something to cook over it. Foghorn carves himself a didgeridoo and calls it a duck call. It’s better than that, though. It’s a pig call! One or two toots and you’ll get an adorable, excitable porcine pal who is eager to give you a ride. I want it. I will have it. And true happiness will finally be mine. Finally, someone to share my M&M’s with!

Now what kind of wilderness activities would these be without a little casual stereotyping? Foghorn puts on his native garb to participate in a little smoke signalling. Could you really send more of a message than “I’m over here.”? The kid can. And this proves he can communicate. Another thing from these days: many adults thought if you didn’t talk, it was because you weren’t smart enough to. Rather than realizing we’re smart enough not to.

Foggy’s getting a little upset that he keeps being made the fool, so he’s going to trick the little smarty into thinking he’s done the impossible: doing a dance to start a storm. He’s got sheet metal and a watering can hidden in the trees, so when he pulls the ropes, he can make it till he fakes it. Jr. will never see those ropes. (There’s colored chunks of space around that can. I think the universe is unraveling faster than I intended. I mean… eh, I don’t care what you think of it.)

Guess what? Junior can do the same but better. He places some dry ice in a paper airplane, and sends it towards a low hanging cloud. Rain and lightning abound. Maybe this would actually work! If I’m ever dumb enough to take another airplane trip, I’ll be sure to throw some of that stuff out the window. We might as well move on to trapping now. Most eating-prey would only be answering our calls at this point.

Foghorn sets his trap, and sees Jr. making a much more elaborate one. He once told a different kid this kind of stuff doesn’t work, but doesn’t recall that it did work and he got eaten afterwards. Jr.’s is more fun though, and it flings Foghorn every which way and what way before getting him snared. If there’s a silver lining, it’s that Foghorn is now finally convinced to attain higher learning. And just think, if he works really hard, he could be a C.E.O. one day!

Favorite Part: Jr. makes an actual duck call that works. I knew it would. Made funny with the reveal that it attracted the young, hormonal, teen ducks. (Given how smart the kid is, I’m guessing he wanted this.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Coyote Vs Acme (First Thoughts)

“How hard can it be to catch a bird?”

Coyote goes a courtin’.

The wait has been agonizing. For years now, we’ve waited to be able to see this movie. Not even 100% sure we’d ever get to without underhanded means. But the fans and movie industry weren’t going to just ignore the problem this time. We made fusses. We made sure W.B. knew how angry and disappointed we were in them. We signed petitions. We made our voices heard since Wile E. didn’t have that luxury. We never gave up and we were rewarded in the end. It’s beautiful.

If you’re on this site, you’ve seen this film.  You know it’s great, but let me explain why just in case. I’ll spoil as little as I can, but you get the warning regardless.

I must admit, I was pleased with the attendance at my theater. Not sold out, but mostly full and not even entirely comprised of single, middle-aged, animation nerds. There were families and young couples! And that one annoying kid who wouldn’t stop loudly playing with his reclining seat. But I’m choosing to believe he was just having a hard time getting comfortable. Myself, I was there with my parents, brother and his wife. None of whom are fans of my caliber, but have enough interest to not just be there for courtesy’s sake.

The film wastes no time getting started. And does a good job of making you feel bad for Wile E. It’s never been hard, but you need to keep that sympathy for feature length. That’s a bit more tricky. Even better, the preexisting characters still feel like themselves in this. There wasn’t a moment where I was rolling my eyes and thinking “They wouldn’t do that. Come on!” Wile E. is the genius I’ve always known him to be, but also a toon. Doing a few actions that don’t serve him in any way, except being funny. Even Foghorn playing an antagonistic role. He felt believable! He’s never been the nicest guy, but when sorting the Tunes into “good and evil” categories, most would put him in good. Me included.

Branching off from the characters, they utilized a ton of them. And it was thrilling to see some who had still yet to make it to one of these films. I audibly said “YES!” when the Dodo appeared. Was not expecting Babbit and Catstello to show up. And was proud when by bro recognized Cool Cat! (Okay, so he just referred to him as “That tiger from the ’60’s.” A victory is a victory.) And they looked good! … For the most part! Okay, so I can’t say they looked perfect. Correction: I can’t say they ALL did.

My golden boys, Porky and Bugs, looked the best. Maybe because they were hand drawn? I don’t know why the others had to be c.g. Expenses, no doubt, but then why not do the same for all? I’m not complaining. They still looked nice enough! Right up until the film’s end. The budget running out by then? Why did that final crowd look so rough? I never wanted to see Hippety Hopper put down before, but it would have been a blessing! (I’m probably exaggerating.)

The live actors? Fine. I don’t know if I’m the best person to judge that. But I didn’t find anyone halfphoning or assing it in. The antagonists were my favorites. Delightfully hammy, but still believable for the world they were set in. Which also merits bringing up. This movie suggests that the characters were never actors. Wile E. has to introduce himself to everyone. Bugs isn’t immediately recognized by his voice alone. It’s not a big deal, but they do show the original shorts a few times. Maybe that’s just how Wile E. is remembering things? Then how does that explain the brief snippet of “Hare-way to the Stars“? Did Bugs really go into space?

The only other part I was raising my eyebrow at? There is a liar reveal in this picture. But it’s over and done so quick, that it made me question if it was really necessary. However, it did lead into the emotional low point of the film (as usual) and it looked like Wile E. had finally and truly quit. That’s when I heard that kid say “Don’t give up!” And my heart warmed. He had been invested after all! Even better, he saw the character as real as the human actor. So I have no way of proving that. I just figured that if you can get a reaction out of anybody, you’re doing something right.

What I was really worried about was the comedy. A lot of the later Looney works have been hit and miss in that department. My worries turned out to be as hilarious as the film. This was some great slapstick! Fast, punchy, crunchy, inventive and never distracting from the story at hand. Spoken jokes were also witty, and even Wile E.’s sign language got some good giggles. I was laughing out loud and I wasn’t the only one. (I was the only one who made sure to watch all the credits. The fam. doesn’t count because they were asking to leave.)

Oh yeah, this film had the heart too. It’s great to see Wile E. making friends. It’s sobering when you find out what Acme has been doing to toons. It’s beautiful when Granny is reunited with her lost husband. (Yeah, who’d have thought her and Peter Lorre would be together? Guess the “Pete” name doesn’t need to be used around here anymore.) And biggest of all: it’s beautiful to see what I’ve always figured for years: the Road Runner sees Wile E. as a friend. (Of course, now for the sake of argument, what if Wile E. caught him eventually? Could he really eat the guy?)

I’m eagerly awaiting my next viewing. I know I missed some cameos. (Several names are written down on files, but I only saw Rocky and Mugsy’s. Why are they the two characters I’m always able to notice?) It’s already risen to 2nd place on my Looney movies chart. And the highest praise I can give it? I’m certain that Chuck would have loved it too. Thank you Ketchup, for bringing us this opportunity. Thank you everyone who helped.

Favorite Part: Wile E.’s Rube Golberg finale. It’s fun to watch, you have no idea what it’s supposed to do on a first viewing, and the little extra bit of icing on the cherry on top? Wile E. waving his fingers like a conductor. He’s in his element, and since Acme had no part in it, it goes off without a hitch.

Personal Rating: 4

 

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Henhouse Henery

“Mutts is nuts!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Manny Gould, John Carey, Charles McKimson, Pete Burness, and Phil DeLara; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on July 2, 1949.

Are you in need of an earworm? Do you long to have nothing but a song playing in your cranium from the dawn of time til the dusk of the universe? Are you all there if you answered ‘yes’? You watch this short, and you’ll never forget Foghorn’s theme song. No matter how much hypnosis you undertake.

Enjoy your title treatment while you still can Henery. This’ll be the last time the studio tries hyping you up as the star.

Henery is on one of his usual chicken hunts, while Foghorn is setting up his latest prank. This time, he labels a stepladder as a fire escape, then lights a fire in Barnyard’s face. When the pup follows the sign’s directions, he falls; he splats. Clearly, we’ve got a master prankster on our paws. Foghorn then stuffs a beach ball in his mouth to shut his angry barking off. Pleased with his latest results, Foggy doesn’t notice the hawk behind him.

Said hawk gets his attention with a hammer to the head. Foghorn doesn’t take him seriously, though. Henery is a small hawk. Practically a newborn. Or newhatch, I guess. Whatever the correct terminology, Foghorn suggests he take on smaller targets to get himself ready for big game. Henery takes the tip, and starts making off with a hen. Foghorn grabs her, and gets smacked for it. Never try to save a woman. They think its demoralizing to get help from an opposite gender. Let them stand up to an active shooter, and whatever remains will take you to bed that night.

Foghorn reprimands the kid for still not going small enough, then grabs a nightmare on a stick to razz Barnyard with. Rather then rendering the dog catatonic, it just makes him angry. Foghorn is safe at the rope’s limit, and while that may be reason enough to paint the town red, he’d rather paint the tongue green. He’ll be telling his grandchildren about this one. Meanwhile, Henery is moping at his lack of luck. Foghorn tells him to grab one of the chicks just yonder. Bird racism continues to be in fashion, as the chicks are ducklings. Never trust a bird that willingly goes in water. I’ve never yet met an honest osprey.

Henery nearly drowns, and it’s awfully sporting of Foghorn to save him. He’s not utilizing Henery for dog annoying today, and he knows the kid is still a predator. But he saves him all the same. You think Henery will remember that? It might be worth surrendering the spotlight to the bigger star- I mean bird.

Speaking of Foggy, he’s just tricked Barnyard into running into a fence that he painted to look like an open gate. Forced perspective is so cool! Too bad he finally got off that rope, and can now chase. He’s built for endurance, so Foghorn doesn’t even have a chance running. Try a weapon. He chops a tree, and shapes the wood into a bat, but Barnyard gets it and can swing hard enough to cleave a table in twain. Foghorn gives him the slip, but isn’t the type to lay low for long. Might as well check on that chickenhawk.

Since even infants are too tough for Henery, he’ll have to go as low as possible and go for a chicken still in the shell. Foghorn directs him to a turtle. Now that I think about it, Foghorn really has it out for any nongalliforme critters. I hope he never learns about his son’s origins. Henery fails to get the “chicken” out of the shell. He just ends up getting pulled in and beaten up. He’s usually so competent at fisticuffs. I guess Foggy’s mind games have really gotten to him. He could really use a friendly pepping up. I recommend dogs for that. Pigs too, but I’d rather keep them for myself.

Barnyard just assumes Henery is looking for Foghorn, and suggests a team-up. I think that’s allowed. The two of them combined has gotta at least match Foghorn’s girth. Foggy notes Henery setting up a chicken trap, and can’t resist telling him it’s wrong. (He was created by humans, all right.) This trap just won’t work because all smart chickens will just jump over the rope snare like so. Good thing this trap was designed for those kind of birds, as Foghorn lands on a pitfall, and Henery gets the rope around his neck.

The little dog laughs to see such sport, while Henery takes his catch home. Barnyard may sarcastically call Foghorn smart, but even geniuses can make mistakes. (*glances at the Wile E. category*) I think he still qualifies as brain food.

Favorite Part: Foghorn demands an explanation on why Henery hit him with a hammer. Rather than comply, Henery hits him again. Funny, and a bit threatening.

Personal Rating: 3

 

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Fox-Terror

“Well, boll, ah-say, boll my weevil!”

That’s the biggest chick-en, ever he seen!

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Keith Darling, George Grandpre, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Bob Majors; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling, Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on May 11, 1957.

There’s an alarm going off in the chicken coop! I bet it was a fox, because there’s one vacating the premises now! Barnyard rushes over to the one who pulled the alarm, some young rooster. Barnyard doesn’t take him too seriously, because he’s just a kid with adult plumage. Doesn’t help that the little guy can’t use any big-boy words. The Dawg interprets the squawks as asking for a drink of water. Water is delicious and all that, but why even have the alarm if you won’t take it seriously? Has he cried fox before?

Foghorn has no interest in pranks today. He aims to go fishing. Roosters love fish! They’re basically the same animal in different biomes. The foxy rascal catches sight, and hatches an idea. Nothing as dumb as trying to eat the bird willingly walking off the premises, (he’s 65% salmonella from all his fishing) no, his plan requires donning a disguise that makes him look like he deals in cocaine, and telling Foggy point blank that he isn’t going fishing. He should take the local hunting dog and go hunting. Roosters love the power that comes from wielding a fire arm, and goes to fetch B.D.

Barnyard resists, saying he has to continue to guard. (Leading me to believe that he’d love to go if he had free time. It’s what he was bred for, after all.) The fox tries to get some dinner, (That green hen doesn’t look ripe enough.) but the little rooster from before pulls the cord again, and the Pavlovian treatment gets Barnyard to rush back, dragging Foghorn behind him. Foghorn gets slammed into a birdhouse, and that just kinda kills his urge to hunt. It really would be weird; him being classified as a game bird, and all. And seeing as there’s no fox, Barnyard gets the kid more water. Hydrate to feel great!

The fox already has a new scheme. Playing game show host, he ushers Foghorn into a booth with two buzzers. Here’s the question: he’s got to recite the poem that contains the words “red” and “blue” and, once he’s got it figured out, recite it, pushing the buzzers when he mentions the hues. That’s too vague! I mean my answer was:

The color of burns and embarrassment, sure, but also luscious, ripe apples and good cuts of meat. Stop for the fist hue of the rainbow and bow: red. On the other extreme: cool, calming, and collected. A friendly sky, a majestic ocean, and animals you should not ingest. You shouldn’t feel sad when you behold: blue.

And that fox had the audacity to not only say I was wrong, but that my poetry is amateurish! I can’t take criticisms if they’re wrong!

Foghorn claims that the answer goes” Roses are red…” and he pushes, unaware that the device is connected to dynamite that the fox stuck in Barnyard’s mouth. Even though he was asleep, and Foghorn is a sound-muffling room, he knows exactly the accompanying line and pushes the buzzer himself once he’s donated his explosive to Foghorn. Man, this game show has everything!

Foghorn decides to go fishing after all. The fox meanwhile, has tricked Barnyard into leaping into a magic box. It’s magic because it’s fairly large, but can be folded into a pocket sized cube. He gives it to Foghorn, claiming it to be a lucky charm for fishermen. Roosters, that is. Actually, he charges Foggy ten dollars. Helps keep up the charade, you know. All Foghorn has to do, is blow on the charm thrice, then toss it over his left shoulder. Following these directions has the charm landing in a well. Best hope you did it perfectly!

Barnyard escaped, and you’ll never know how he did it. He folds Foghorn up and toss him in the well. That’s just a really fun bit of cartoonery you don’t see unless a character has already been flattened. I like it. Foggy finally asks why Barnyard is beating him up today, as he’s been particularly kind today. (I.E. out of character.) Barnyard says he’s interfering with his guarding, but that was only the first time! Foghorn catches the real culprit entering the enclosure once more, but holds Barnyard back as he’s got a plan of his own.

The fox has cut the cord for the alarm, but the little rooster still gets it to ring by pulling the severed end. Even though, as far as the fox knows his latest scheme worked, he flees. He runs into Foggy and the Dawgy dressed up like he originally was. Knowing that everything has been figured out, he struggles to come up with an explanation, but the two aren’t hearing it. They don duelist uniforms, turn, and shoot the fox. That was just the appetizer though, they let him have a head start as they get into their next outfits: horse and fox hunter.

The hunt isn’t on though. It’s the little roosters turn to don the slicker duds and tell the two that they won’t be doing as they plan. Mainly because the cartoon is over, but also because… actually just that. The cartoon is over.

Favorite Part: Barnyard getting fed up with the kid “asking for water” and planning to just bean him with a hammer. Oh, quit whining about child abuse. 1. The kid fights hammer with hammer. 2. I’m still not even sure that’s a kid.

Personal Rating: 3

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Mother was a Rooster

“Being a mother is an awful headache.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Dave Detiege; Animation by George Grandpre, Keith Darling, Ted Bonnicksen, and Warren Batchelder; Layouts and Backgrounds by Robert Gribbroek; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn.  A Merrie Melody released on October 20, 1962.

According to Barnyard Dawg, things have gotten too quiet as of late. Well maybe this will teach you not to remain absent from the previous five Foghorn pictures. One of you has to be the spark, and one the gunpowder. Team effort, guys. His plan to rile things up requires a trip to the local ostrich farm. “Cawstone’s: whether you need meat, eggs or plumes, we hope you’ll always think of us first, in-between, and last.” He steals an egg and returns home to put his plan into action.

It’s simple, but aren’t all the best pranks? He’s going to place it near Foghorn. Hilarious! (Hilarious?) When he wakes, Foghorn is over the moon to find he’s a parent. B.D. is confused. And so am I. What did you want him to do? Scream? Ask if anyone has lost a baby? Try to eat it? You’re slipping pal. Maybe you should retire. He changes tactics once Foggy goes about warming it up; he’s gonna help hatch it. Woah! Hey! Put the mallet down! Is infanticide really worth having the last laugh? You should retire now!

Okay, he hits Foghorn. And this makes the egg hatch? Eh, who cares. Isn’t that chick adorable? Way cuter than last time. Foghorn agrees that his son is beautiful, and goes to show him off to all his friends. That means Mr. Dawg. (Foggy isn’t the easiest guy to get along with.) Barnyard is blunt and tells little Austin, (my name for him) to his face, that he is the ugliest chicken he ever saw. Good thing he’s not really a chicken, but still, a-hole. And Austin hides his head underground. No, he’s NOT scared; scared ostriches run. He’s ashamed.

Foghorn is rightfully pissed at this, telling the poor child that the jerk dog didn’t mean that. The jerk dog agrees: he meant that the kid’s been beaten by the ugly stick. Please shut your mouth! Yes, their are ugly people in the world, I myself am one, but you wait until their at least a teenager to tell them that! That way, puberty can either metamorphose them into splendor, or give them the opportunity to accept that part of themselves. And even then, you have to already be the bosomest of buddies. Do it this young, and the kid’ll be ruined for life.

Foghorn decides the dawg will pay, and I’m in total support. He places an anvil up a tree, with a bone dangling from it. Soon as it’s pulled, WHAMMO! But Austin gets there first. Maybe he’s hungry, (Foghorn never feeds him) maybe he’s trying to get in his tormentor’s good graces. Foggy runs over to let the mutt have his femur, and is klonked for his troubles. Just forget him and play a game. Football is popular this time of year. Play that.

Foghorn throws it, but it’s attached to a string. … Why is it attached to a string? It just makes Austin get reeled back in to your palm. Hasn’t he been abused enough? I really don’t follow that one. Foggy goes out for a pass, and Austin punts great and Foghorn gets sent sliding into a fence, his arm poking out through a hole in the bottom. This gives B.D. a chance to stick it full of dynamite, and Foghorn doesn’t realize he caught it until that happens. Standing up, he realizes its time for baseball practice, and tosses the ball back over. How do you like them karma apples?

Austin finally seems to be happy and enjoying life as kids should get to before the real world ruins living for them. But it just takes one more cruel word to get him hiding his head again. I think I need to prove a point about baby birds again:

Ost-rich in cuteness!

And what do your babies look like at that age, mr hound?

Moot point

Aw, crumbs! Still heckin’ precious. But maybe there’s a soulless monster out there who would disagree?

Well, Foghorn is the parent here, so he’s going to have to deal with this. One on one boxing sounds fair. But Barnyard isn’t, getting in as many early shots as he can. Since they’re playing by his rules, which are no rules, there will be no rules. Foggy jumps hard, and the loose plank flings B.D. into the water tower above. When he falls back down, physics flings Foggy back up. After some back and forth, the whole thing collapses on them. After the dust clears, both have their heads stuck in the ground. Austin speaks his first words, and they’re concerns about the fact everybody left him and he is now alone.

NO, he DOESN’T think hiding your head makes you invisible, he just hasn’t got object permanence yet. Or they died in that crash.

Favorite Part: The fact that Austin has such a powerful kick. Ostriches really do have those. Just wait until he grows up, Dawg. He’ll kick your skin off.

Personal Rating: 2. I’m sorry, but Barnyard was too d@mn mean in this one. Insulting an innocent babe just because he’s bitter about his prank failing to live up to expectations? You know he’s not a chicken anyway! Call him ugly to Foghorn’s face if you must, but leave him out of this. If Austin wasn’t so cute, and Dawg got off scot-free in the end, I’d be giving it a 1.

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Lovelorn Leghorn

“This cluck’s off ‘er onion.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, Emery Hawkins, John Carey, and J. C. Melendez; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. (So says my complete guide to Warner Bros. Cartoons, anyway.) A Looney Tune released on September 8, 1951.

After her little “egg-scapade“, (Ow. That sucked so bad my funny bone was severed.) Porky decided Prissy wasn’t worth the hassle. She’ll be living on a different farm from now on. I’m sure she’ll be much happier there. She’s not being raised for eggs in this picture, so she’s got plenty of free time. And if you’re lonely, free time sucks. I speak from experience, and you don’t care. Prissy decides to be smart and use hers as a chance to go husband hunting. The other hens’ suggestion to take a rolling pin for convincing might be sarcasm, but Prissy’s taking it regardless. Men can be dangerous when conscious. (And in the name of gender equality, women too.)

Foghorn is taking a nap in the sun, stupidly close to the Barnyard Dawg. Never sleep within his rope limits unless you want a rude awakening. And nothing gets ruder than a bucket of liquid nitrogen cold, (but still liquid somehow) water emptied on you. Listen to that gasping! Foggy’s lucky he didn’t go into hypothermic shock! Too far, B.D. Much too far. But then, Foggy must’ve dropped a quarter dozen I.Q. points to forget you. Maybe it would be best to put him out of his misery.

Prissy spots him as he sharpens an axe. Also extreme, but unwanted cold should be returned with death. Soon as I can figure out a way to end Winter without destroying the planet, I’m doing it. She uses the pin, and Foghorn gets angry. Strangely enough, this causes her to break into tears. Don’t men like physical pain? It’s the only pain they understand. Foghorn apologizes, and that conk must’ve knocked what little brain cells were up there back in place, because he is able to figure out exactly what she’s doing. (And humorously enough, supports the pin, but tells her that it’s for later in the relationship.)

So, how will he utilize her into his revenge scheme? The same way he does with Henery. He tells her that the dawg is a rooster, but he wears that fursuit to keep the ladies away. (This works with humans too. Or maybe it just works with some. Man, are we diverse.) Foghorn gives her a casaba melon, (Specific. Oddly so.) telling her that like all guys, his heart is in his stomach. But you can’t just give it to him. Tease him a little. Guys love flirting. I think I do.

As our quote demonstrates, B.D. is a little confused, but free food is free food. He tries to take it, and she starts running. This is where Foghorn rejoins, treating things like a football game. Once the melon is in his wings, it makes its way over the dawg’s head. Encased, that is. Time for the winning kick! Or punt! Or whatever the ‘L’ you call it. One dazed dog, one delighted dame. And Foggy gets to enjoy watching her try to remove the “suit”. Finally getting to speak to her properly, Barnyard tells her the truth: her ugly face means she has no alternative to trapping a husband. You mother-was-a b*tch!

Nah, he’s a swell guy. Even tells her what she’ll need to build this trap. Foghorn misses most of the construction, but he does see her trying to lift the final piece in place: a bowling ball. Not being able to see a lady do “mens work” he lifts it for her and puts it in the sluice she built. I’d also stop to see what was going to happen. I wouldn’t be disappointed either, because I’ve never stopped loving Rube Goldberg devices. The stupidly simple thing this complex monstrosity was designed to do was drop a cannon ball on rooster heads. What fun! Now make one that’s twenty-five minutes long and adds salt to fries.

Later, Prissy has a brand new market basket to show off to the girls. It’s handy for carrying her brand new husband. He’s already picked up her manner of speaking too. A sure sign of a healthy relationship.

And in case you were wondering, Comic con was fun, everybody who commented on my costume thought I was Gogo Dodo, (his umbrella is PURPLE, thanks so much) and I didn’t get a chance to get Bob Bergen’s autograph. I knew I should have brought some handcuffs.

Favorite Part: Even Foghorn’s snoring is in character: “Zzzz… I say… Zzzz… That is.”

Personal Rating: 3. Prissy will be much better utilized here.

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Weasel Stop

“Help! Mountain lion! Bobcat! Coyote!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Ted Pierce; Animation by Keith Darling, Ted Bonnicksen, and Russ Dyson; Layouts and Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on February 11, 1956.

Quiet days are boring. They are in desperate need of a weasel to liven things up. I’m fresh out of weasels at the moment. Would a stoat do? Fine, fine. Don’t give me that eye roll look. McKimson’s crew are on the ball with their weasel character that my “Looney Tunes 300-piece Fantasy puzzle identifies as “Willy”. Not the worst name, but kinda makes him sound like a mascot for a pizzeria. He shouldn’t be anything to worry about because the local chicken farm has a barnyard dog on duty. The only problem? That’s not Barnyard Dawg.

What the crap? What happened? Where’s my beloved basset? Who does this poser think he is? Granted, there’s nothing wrong with giving the formula a little variety, but Barnyard Dawg is an established character by this point! You think audiences would have liked Chuck’s boys making another rabbit/duck season picture without Elmer? Even if it was good, it’d always be remembered as the freak short of the quadrillogy. I just want to know if there’s a reason, since Farmyard Doug never came back.

Well, dogs is dogs, and roosters are their natural pranksters. Doesn’t help that Foghorn is a little irritated to find the guy supposed to be protecting them from certain death is sawing logs. Whittling, that is. Doug loves his whittling. Foghorn blows the weasel alarm in his face, then sends him on a wild goose chase. Weasel chase, that is. Doug crashes into a fence that Foghorn painted a hole on, and the bird claims the whole thing to have been naught but a nightmare. Sure hope it was worth crying wolf. Weasel, that is. (I’m stopping now. I promise.)

And Willy tries to carry Foggy away. Despite the screaming, Doug can’t be bothered to get up. Maybe he doesn’t believe its really happening, maybe he’s glad it is. Foghorn manages to get free when he is dragged into a low-hanging branch. Now aware of what happened, he’s not worried. Despite Willy still trying to gnaw on him. Foghorn points out the little guy is after a good eating chicken, and that’s all the permission Willy needs. He goes after another one, but Doug wasn’t just whittling wood to waste it. He made a croquet mallet and ball, and sends Willy away.

Foghorn decides to help the weasel get even with the dog. And once the only thing keeping them safe is dead? Don’t bother with the details. Live for the moment! The plan is to send Willy floating via balloon, and drop a lit fire craker on Doug. (Hey, Foggy? The balloon string is going through your beak. Okay. You fixed it.) Doug isn’t caught unawares. He whittles his latest masterpiece: a single toothpick. Attaching that to a paper airplane pops Willy’s balloon and dreams. The mustelid lands on another board Doug was probably planning to carve into a clothespin, flinging the rock it was setting under up. Doug lights his explosive for him, Willy’s snout changes color, and gravity and the rock send weasel back to rooster for the explosive finish.

The two then sneak about in haystack disguise, carrying miscellaneous weapons. Before they can really do anything with them, Doug uses his new greatest work, a wooden hand, to turn on the hay baler. (Foghorn, buddy, now that the hay is gone, I can see your foot going through your cannon. Stop that.) After the ride, the two are stripped of their respective coats. So what’s plan C? Oh, wait. The cartoon is ending here. Okay.

Favorite Part: I like the way Willy says “Yeah.” It’s his only dialogue, but it displays more character than Doug has.

Personal Rating: 2. The team-up doesn’t start until the picture is 2/3 done, the ending gag was pretty weak, and Doug reacts too calmly to things. I think that’s why I prefer our usual Dawg. He really feels like a living, breathing, rooster-pounding animal.

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Banty Raids

“Man, you’re a weirdo chick.”

I bet you think you’re his Poppa.

Directed by Robert McKimson; Animation by George Grandpre, Keith Darling, Ted Bonnicksen, and Warren Batchelder; Layouts and Backgrounds by Robert Gribbroek; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Merrie Melody released on June 29, 1963.

Yes I can tie today’s featured cartoon into October once again! What’s Halloween without tricks? A safe and by extension boring Halloween. But it’s not a trick when I tell you this is Foghorn’s final starring role.

It’s like this, man. See, there’s this rooster on this farm, you dig? As the title suggests, he’s a bantam. What it doesn’t tell you is that he’s a beatnik as well, and likes his music loud. This gets him exiled from his place by the head rooster of the place. It doesn’t bother the bantnik too much as One: he’s too laid-back to get invested, and Two: he’s spotted another farm that is full of females. And they appear quite receptive to his musical charms, so he’s made up his mind to enter.

But this place has a head rooster of its own by the name of Foghorn Leghorn. Gonna need to slip by him to get the good times rolling. Using his body’s natural size to his benefit, Bantnik decides to disguise himself as an orphaned child. And Foghorn is all too willing to adopt, because as much fun as he has, he’s secretly also very lonely and wishes he had a junior of sorts to join him in dawg pranking. That’s the first thing he’s going to teach his new son about.

Foggy’s gone all out for the final dog smack around. He doesn’t have to outrun Barnyard  this time. (The dog making his final appearance.)  Foghorn’s attached himself to a rubber band. Once he’s given the dog some smacks, he just needs to leap off the ground, and physics will pull him out of harm’s way. Even better, the force sends his arm flying into a boxing glove he set aside, so now he can be flung right back into B.D.’s mug. Of course, his “child” has no interest in these kind of games, and we find him making out with a dead chicken that was stuffed by a taxidermist who was a big fan of Marty Feldman.

Cracks start to show in Bantnik’s plan. How was he supposed to know Foghorn would break rooster tradition and actually try to raise his kid? Bantnik and his lady friend of the half-hour have to put their dance session on hold and make it seems like the little guy was just napping in the hen house. But the horny kids hate to waste a second, and turn the tunes back up the very instant Foghorn simply LOOKS like he’s leaving. Foghorn is starting to get suspicious, and that mindset only gets stronger as he cuts into the kid’s line for make-outs.

He shows his “son” some pictures to see what sort of thing’s catch his interest. Ladies, naturally, get him going. This proves… that he likes girls, just as Foghorn thought. It’s not entirely clear if Foggy has caught on that he’s been played a fool or not. Maybe he just thinks his kid is full of testosterone. Meanwhile, Barnyard, no doubt scheming the whole time, notices Bantnik’s lust. (He’s ditched the disguise now. He’s too laid-back to worry about it, though.) Barnyard offers to hook him up with the girl of his dreams, and Bantnik sees nothing wrong with believing something too good to be true. (Have a I mentioned he’s laid-back?)

The Dawg sends a little tank towards the barn where Foghorn just happens to be. Seems he’s already forgotten about the son he loved so much. He recognizes the tank as the Dawg’s pawdiwork and ducks its shot. But that was all part of the plan! The shot hits a bovine who ends up bucking Foghorn into some (I think it’s) a hay-baler. (I don’t get why he smiles in there, but I chuckle all the same.) After a ride through, his wings are tied to his sides, and his beak has been tied too. Into a perfect kissable pout. Now we just apply some false eyelashes, a little lipstick, Oh! And we’ve got the perfect hat, wig and dress to bring it all together!

Bantnik likes what he sees! Good thing Barnyard is a licensed priest, since the little bird requests he marry the two of them on the spot. Foghorn tells him point blank that he’s another rooster, but Bantnik is progressive enough to not let that bother him. (And you thought I was just going to say it’s because he’s laid-back!)

Favorite Part: After Bantnik is kicked out of his first home, he says “Man, you’re the sickest.” Right as your brain finishes putting together that he must’ve been sarcastically complimenting his ex-boss, he pulls a gun on his suffering guitar.

Personal Rating: 3 that creeps over to the four’s territory sometimes to make itself feel bigger. Nice way to end Foghorn’s cartoons.

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Of Rice and Hen

“WHAM-A-DOODLE!”*

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Herman Cohen, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Charles McKimson; Layouts by Robert Givens. Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 14, 1953. *(I friggin’ love that line.)

Guess who’s finally getting married? Yep! My younger brother! Explains today’s short choice perfectly!

All the local hens are proud mothers who love nothing more than raising their chicks. Excluding Prissy, of course.  She has zero. And not only do the hens know this lack of poultry progeny makes her miserable, but they delight in telling her that she’s the lucky one, because they know that bothers her. They can’t even have the decency to let her be friendly with their brood. (Don’t bother eating their drumsticks; they’re too bitter.) And the hurtful insults are the tipping point. Prissy is opting for what is always the worst option: suicide. (Briefly suffering wing loss as she does.)

Luckily for everyone involved, Foghorn spotted her just as she was about to jump and saves her to boot. She’s smitten. There’s just something about a guy who saves you from a dangerous situation that you put yourself in. Too bad her kiss only confounds him. Oh well. Time for the daily dog beating. Barnyard isn’t even tied up in this short, so Foggy has to slam a gate on him to avoid getting pounded back. After this bit of fun, Prissy returns, doing a sexy flamenco dance. (I honestly had trouble recognizing her without her signature bonnet.)

Foghorn is finally able to catch on, and tells her that he is not interested in as polite a manner as he is capable of. For you see, being married would interfere with his ‘sticking the dog with T.N.T. stick’ shtick. Which fails this time because it was the Dawg’s time to win. (But look closely! While Foghorn checks to see if the hound is asleep, Barnyard clearly looks him right in the eye! Does Foghorn just think he’s tied up in his house? Or was that just a bit of a mistime on the animator’s parts? It all depends on if you want to see the Toons as living beings or not.)

And Prissy is still at it. Now trying to buy Foghorn’s affections with confections. He has to put his talons down and tell her point blank that he has no interest in her. She understands. Saying the saddest version of her catchphrase, she departs. Give Foghorn some credit. At least he knows he was being a jerk. But that Dawg gets to her and plans to help her, as it would be the ultimate victory for him. (Plus, he’s written several shipping fanfic’s about the two. He has secrets.) He says the secret to getting your man is playing hard to get and when she tries it, the results are instantaneous.

What really steams the rooster up though, is seeing the Chinese knock-off version of him, Fog Horn Capon, putting the moves on the hen. (Really just that Dawg in disguise.) Foggy fights for her, and Barnyard is quite the method actor, willing to take some punches and ultimately throw the fight to sell the scene. Even the other ladies witness Prissy having two suitors fight for her, so that really boosts her self esteem. Foghorn quickly claims his prize and rushes off to Church’s Chicken… I mean Chicken Church, and has the deed done.

He celebrates his victory before things really start sinking in. Only now does he realize that one can win the fight, and still lose the war.

Favorite Part: Probably the most savage roast I’ve heard and probably ever will: “Gal reminds me of a highway between Fort Worth and Dallas: no curves.”

Personal Rating: 4. Top form writing.

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Leghorn Swoggled

“Kid don’t stop talkin’ so much; he’ll get his tongue sunburned.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Charles McKimson, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Emery Hawkins; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Eugene Poddany; Orchestration by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 28, 1951.

A total eclipse? Free of charge? Doesn’t sound like the thing Foghorn would be interested in, but he’s excited. He puts his head through the hole in the fence to see, and Barnyard slams a pumpkin on his head. He retaliates by sticking a boxing glove in a camera, and socking the hound. (And everything freezes for at least one second. Intentional?) The usual tricks and pranks are interrupted by Henery playing cowboy in order to get a chicken today. He lassos Foggy good, but the rooster sends him on his way saying the kid is too small for hunting.

Henery is sad. Even young predators have to eat don’t they? Barnyard lends a sympathetic ear and offers a deal: one bone and he’ll help him get a chicken. (Guy must be starving today. He’s normally ready to get Henery Foghorn for free.) Henery takes the deal, but as a non-vulturis bird he doesn’t know how to find a bone. He asks a familiar looking cat for help. Seeing as how this guy has appeared in at least four different pictures, I guess it’s time for me to give him a name: Fred E. Cat.

Fred knows where bones are located as all cats do, but he’s not talking until he gets a fish. (Typical cat. Always wanting something for the most trivial task.) Now, where would Henery get a fish? He’s not an osprey or eagle! The nearby mouse knows and demands cheese for the info. But unlike the other two, he actually has the decency to tell Henery where that’s located. (Good thing too. It’d be kinda awkward if Henery met a goat who’d say where the stuff is located in exchange for some food.)

I take back what I said. The mouse was clearly trying to get a potential future predator dead, seeing as how the cheese he wants is on a mousetrap. Surprisingly, Foggy stops the little guy from getting seriously hurt by trying to show how to get the goods without the pain. He fails, but Henery gets the cheese regardless. Foghorn doesn’t really care what the kid wants with the dairy, as he’s readying his next prank: building a train set that will deliver a pie to the dawg’s face. (Is it just me? It looks like Foggy should be singing as he lays the tracks. Or is that just the goofiest smile he’s ever worn?)

Weirdly enough, the mouse tells Henery where to get fish as promised, but Henery is still holding onto the cheese. He really strolled up the rodent and said: “Here’s your cheese, give me my end of the bargain! And now it’s still mine until your tip pays off.”? (Think of how many awesome deleted scenes we’ll never get a glimpse of.) Foghorn once more tries to show how it’s done and is dragged into the water. (And somehow got the fish stuck in his crop. He still gives it to Henery.)

Henery does it again! He knows where to dig for a bone, but still has the fish! What a joik! Well, he’s doing the digging right, but his shovel is adorably small. Foghorn comes to dig for him with real tools, but Henery leaves once a single bone is unearthed. Then Henery finally gives the other animals their orders. Foghorn has witnessed it, and asks why he didn’t get a present. Demanding his due, he fails to notice Barnyard about to clobber him with the bone. Once properly knocked out, Henery takes the rooster away on the toy train. Hard work and good deeds pay off in the grand scheme of things.

Favorite Part: When Foghorn is giving fishing tips. The disgusted grimace Henery gives us is just wonderful.

Personal Rating: Foggy has some great lines here, but it feels like two different cartoons got spliced together and the misjoint is felt. It’s lucky to get a 3.