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Cat-Tails for Two

“Why did you hit yourself on the head for, George?”

Directed by Robert Mckimson. Released in 1953

It’s night at a wharf. The moon is bright, the water is green, and two cats are going hunting. The little one is named George and the hippo in a cat suit is named Benny. ( “Of Mice and Men” reference) They are played by Blanc and Freberg respectively. (To be fair, this is one of Freberg’s funniest roles. Don’t take my hippo quote the wrong way. I love Benny.) Benny actually appeared the year before in a short with Sylvester and Hippity Hopper called “Hoppy Go Lucky.”

Back to our featured short. Benny wants to come hunting with George who agrees on account that Benny not do stupid things like he always does. He points out a ship in from Mexico and comments on their Mexican feast they will have. Benny loves Mexican food! It gives him the heartburn that he loves! He agrees to throw George aboard and tosses him into the side. He doesn’t notice until he’s hopped over himself and scolds George for disobeying the “No Fishing”  sign. (No Swimming.) He pulls him up and George brings out the trap he brought. He sets it up, but a blur runs over and steals all the cheese. The blur leaves a card behind that identifies him as the fastest mouse in all Mexico: Speedy Gonzales! Making his film debut! Let’s take a look at him.

Wh-what is this unholy terror?

Yes, in his debut Speedy had ragged fur, a red shirt, NO PANTS, huge eyes, oversized teeth, (one in gold) and only wore his sombrero in his very first scene. After this short, Speedy wouldn’t be used again until Freleng sort of adopted him two years later. It’s like when McKimson did that with Chuck Jone’s Henery Hawk, and Freleng previously did with Bob Clampett’s Tweety. Only McKimson made some more pictures with the mouse as well. I’m getting off topic.

George has Benny hoist a crate of anvils into the air while he sets some more cheese down. Speedy in turn blows up a bag near Benny and he drops the trap on George. (Of course, Speedy is fast enough to grab the cheese first.) Next George sets up many pieces of cheese near firecrackers. All he needs is a match. Speedy has one and runs to each cheese wedge, grabs it, and lights the fuse. George who is chasing him keeps getting caught in the explosions. (You know, if Speedy didn’t run so much, he’d be fat.) Benny goes to get some water to cool his friend down, but remarks that “P-e-t-r-o-l” is a funny way to spell water.

They set up a free casino that advertises lots of free girls but is really a hidden pipe. (Good thing all men share the same sexual orientation.) George then tells Benny to wait at the other end. Speedy naturally saw all this, but plays along. As he runs in, George pointlessly lights a rocket to chase the mouse, but gets launched alongside it. Benny ends up smacking him on the head. Getting a new pipe, George leads it into Speedy’s mouse hole, unaware that the rodent is bending it with a wrench. He stuffs lots of dynamite into the pipe  also oblivious to the fact it’s all piling up behind him. He lights the fuse and the resulting explosion launches the cats off the ship. No Mexican meal tonight.

Personal Rating: 3

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3 Private Snafu Shorts: The Goldbrick/The Home Front/Censored

And they’re all directed by Frank Tashlin! Hope you’re not sick of the guy yet. Don’t worry, we’ll be taking a break after this post.

“The Goldbrick” Released in 1943

“I do believe I’m putting on weight.”

Snafu is sleeping when he is woken up. (What else would he be doing if he was woken up?) He is naturally unhappy about this, and wishes to not have to get up for drills. A sprite named Goldie shows up and he lets Snafu in on some secrets of avoiding work. If you fake an illness, you can spend a day in bed with a hot nurse by your side. (Who must suck at her job if she can’t tell he’s faking.) When digging a trench, Goldie advises him to dig just enough for his head, and he’s earned a well deserved nap. Instead of pushing a load up a hill, have someone help while you sit on the load and push.

Soon, Snafu is lazy and out of shape. This comes back to bite him when he’s actually on the field. Deciding to goldbrick since that’s all he knows, he limps towards a convenient hospital. It’s a trap of course, and he ends up smashed by a hammer. He’s okay though and gets out. More trouble is out there, as an enemy tank chases him down. He digs a trench, but as he only ever digs enough for his head, his rear sticks out and the tank crushes him. He’s dead. (Snafu dies quite a few times in his shorts.) Goldie then reveals that he was really Japanese the whole time. (Remember: we were enemies. Japanese people do not look or sound like that.) But Snafu will be remembered, thanks to his 22 karat goldbrick grave.

Personal Rating: 3

“The Home Front” Released in 1943

“I didn’t know you cared.”

This short begins with Snafu in a very cold location. He complains because that’s what he does. He figures that all his loved ones are enjoying themselves back home. His dad is playing pool, his mom is playing bridge and gossiping, and his grandpa is being a pervert at a burlesque show. Worst of all, his sweet Sally Lou is no doubt dating someone else. (Isn’t that just how women are? If you leave them, they replace you.) Out pops good ole’ Technical Fairy First Class. He has a TV and lets Snafu see how much “fun” his family is having.

Turns out, that Snafu is the black sheep of the family, as the rest are working real hard. His dad’s building tanks, his mom’s planting a victory garden, and gramps is reinforcing battleships. And dear sweet Sally Lou? She joined the W.A.C.s. (I hope you feel like a dope, Snafu.) He tries to give her image a  kiss, but since she’s not really there, he kisses the fairy instead. (Hey, he lived this time. He’s coming home, Sally!)

Personal Rating: 3

“Censored” Released in 1944

“Mail this for me!”

Snafu is trying to send the lovely Sally Lou a letter. (A wimpy, short, dumb, lazy, man gets a hot chick? It’s plausible, but not fair.) Only one thing is preventing him from getting to the postbox: The censor. He/She/It catches Snafu and shreds his letter to nothing but “Greetings” and “Farewell.” On a train, Snafu tries again and this time folds it into a paper airplane. Tossing it outside does not work, as the censor has a net. The note is returned to Snafu as paper dolls. On the ship to his next destination, he tries again with the help of a dove he has in his pants. (Not one word about that.) The assistant censor, (a hawk) catches the bird who points out it was not his plan. (He’s some sort of stool bird!) The letter is beaked this time.

Snafu is getting desperate to talk to M.L. and luckily for him, his pal Technical Fairy First Class agrees to send it after Snafu tells him it’s safe. He and his girl use a code when speaking. The note delivers and Mary gets itttttt… I never thought I’d see this much skin when I decided to start reviewing shorts. (Yes, I know these shorts were for the armed forces, but she’s not even wearing a bra!) Even though he’s asked her to keep quiet, she goes on to tell her mother who goes on to tell more people. Eventually, through use of the telephone game, the Japanese here of it too and prepare an ambush at Bingo Bango island, where the U.S. is heading to. Unaware of the dangers, Snafu and the others land only to get blown up. Turns out it was all a dream. (Three shorts today. 1 death, 1 live, and 1 both.) Turns out T.F.F.C never sent the letter. Having learned his lesson, Snafu censors it himself.

Personal Rating: 3

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Double Feature! Unpublished Frank Tashlin books!

I’m sorry that I didn’t update last week. I was having personal problems; but that is no reason to shirk on my duties. So, to make up, I will post last week’s entry along with this weeks. Also, we’ll be switching to updates every Wednesday. (It’s easier for me) So let’s take a look at a couple of books, that Tashlin wrote, but never did anything with. (Could have been interesting to see them animated.)

Little Chick’s Wonderful Mother

This story takes place in two yards. In one, there is a chicken coop full of chickens, naturally. The other yard contains an incubator that has only one egg inside it. (Seems like a waste of money.) When the egg hatches, a black chick is born. (His color isn’t important, but the narration mentioned it.) The chicks in the next yard ask him where his mother is. He points out the incubator. It hatched him, naturally it is his mother. The chicks laugh at him. Heck, even the full grown hens and rooster laugh at him. (This is where we get jerk chicken from.)

Getting an idea, the chick somehow gets a hold of many objects and makes his “mother” look the part. Painting a face, giving her a broom as tail feathers, a poinsettia as a comb, and a corn cob beak. (Wait, she has a beak AND a mouth? That’s not scientifically correct. Talking poultry however, is fine.) Still, the birds laugh. The chick is sad, but promises “her” that no matter what the others might say, she is his mom and he loves her. Later, a rain storm rolls in and the hen house begins to flood. Being the hero of the story, the chick has all the other chickens climb onto his “mother” as she floats. They are saved and admit that she IS a good mother. The rooster then forces the other hens to look like her. (Um, I don’t think that’s necessary.)

Tony and Clarence

I like this one a lot more as it doesn’t need a moral.

Tony is an organ grinder. His monkey (the titular Clarence) is very efficient at his job. He collects many pennies and thanks the donators for every one. Being a monkey, he can climb anywhere in the city. This way, the lazy citizens don’t even have to get up to pay. At the end of every day, Tony and Clarence go home and have dinner and go to bed. (Sleeping in a bed with an animal is cute.) But one day, Clarence falls ill. (Sleeping in a bed with an animal is also not very clean.)

He is taken to the hospital and Tony asks the doctors to do all they can, and he will pay whatever they ask. But how will he do it without his monkey? A musician without a cute animal might as well have their tunes pirated. Well, the animal kingdom is full of options! Too bad his subs all have their little hiccups. Dog: chases cats. Elephant: falls through the hole in the street it made due to its weight. (Really? Several cars won’t do that, but one elephant will?) Giraffe: gets it’s neck tangled in the clotheslines. Beaver: chews the telephone poles. Pelican: goes fishing. Goat: eats buttons off of people’s clothing. (Maybe if you fed it, Tony…) Ostrich: doesn’t eat the coins like it would make sense to do, but rather does the old hiding in hole cliche that is not true.

Tony is sad and the other animals feel bad they let him down. Then the doctors call Tony with news about Clarence. Is he worse? Is he dead? Actually, he’s not even himself anymore. SHE is a mother. (Really Tony? You had this monkey for how long and you never could tell it’s gender? And how did she get preg…OH NO!) Now named Clarice, the monkey goes back to work with Tony. And he is now 6 times richer as all the young monkeys join in. (Monkey’s don’t have that many babies at once, you know. Let me have my nitpicking fun.)

Hope that makes up somewhat for disappearing last week. It’s great to be back.

Personal Rating: It may not mean much, seeing as they never got past the draft stage. But I’ll give them both a 2. There’s beginnings of greatness there.

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Bugs Bunny Superstar Part 2

Ready for the rest? We are told that during the war was when Bugs was at his most popular. A smart aleck who was not afraid of anyone and calmly told them to be gone or suffer the consequences? We rocked in the mascot department! Those Nazi’s were stuck with Swazie Tika the talking rock. (If you actually were believing that, then I’m worried about you. Please lay down) The next short they show is “Rhapsody Rabbit” (Nothing like saying how awesome a character is, before showing some of their work where they are not the victor) We are then treated to some of the hijinks that went on at the studio. Dancing, picking noses, and even kissing Porky’s @$$. (You better do that. He saved your company from the mouse) Then we are shown “Walky Talky Hawky.” Why question it? Clampett mentions that while Bugs is their biggest star, Porky was the first. Porky was actually based on a fat kid from his youth. (He was actually called Porky. What an honor.) As time went by, they put Porky on a diet to make him cuter. Then of course came Daffy. Clampett shows off the frames from the ducks’s first appearance (“Porky’s Duck Hunt”) that he drew. Before comparing it with Daffy’s strip tease from “The Wise Quacking Duck.” Since these two were so wonderful together, we are shown “My Favorite Duck.” Next they bring up Mel Blanc and his unfortunate carrot allergy, and how they tried every other vegetable they could. But only carrots sound like carrots. They show us “Hair-raising Hare” and immdiately afterwards show “The Old Grey Hare.” The end! The credits are also pretty funny. Look and see for yourself!

Bugs Bunny-Himself

Daffy-Daffy Duck

Porky-P-P-P-Porky P-P-Pig

Elmer Fudd-Elmer C. Fudd (Yes, I know his middle intial is really J)

Tweety-T. Pie

Sylvester-Felix Domesticus (Great joke)

Mr. Bogart-Fred C. Dobbs

Chicken Hawk-Henrey Hawk

Foghorn Leghorn-F. Licking Goode

Personal Rating: 3

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Frank Tashlin

I’ve been talking about shorts this guy directed for nearly all of 2015; why not talk about the man himself?

He was born as Francis Fredrick von Taschlein. Just rolls off the tongue doesn’t it? He was much more well known as Frank Tash and Tish Tash. (Such a cool name.) The poor guy dropped out of high school at 13 and wandered from job to job. He worked on the TerryToons series, and eventually at Van Beuren Studios, but was still a drifter and left that. He came to the WB in 1933. In 1934, he began using his free time to draw a comic strip he titled, “Van Boring.” (Sticking it to the man are we? I like you.) He was fired soon after because he refused to give Leon Schlesinger a cut of his comic strip revenues. (Dang Leon, what’s your problem?)

So he then went to work for Ub Iwerks and after that, Hal Roach. He returned to the winning team in 1936 and continued to direct shorts. At one point though, he got into an argument with studio manager Henrey Binder and resigned. It was now 1938 and he went to go work in the story department at Disney. After that, he was the production manager at Columbia Pictures’ Screen Gems animation studio in 1941. He hired many of the ex-Disney staffers who left during the Disney animator’s strike. (They’ll be forever remembered as the clowns in “Dumbo”.) He then went on to launch “The Fox and the Crow” series, but after that he was fired over an argument with the Columbia executives. (Stop deja vu-ing.)

So like a boomerang, he returned to Warner Bros. in 1943. Only three years later, he would leave again, but this time for good. At least Bob McKimson took over his unit. After animation he went on to write gags for the Marx brothers and Lucille Ball. He began directing movies in 1951 starting with Bob Hope film “The Lemon Drop Kid” He would return to animation one more time in the 1960s when he would go to MGM to help produce the animated version of his story, “The Bear that Wasn’t.” He died on May 5, 1972 at the age of 59, after suffering a coronary. He may not have been my favorite director, but he was definitely a great one. He shall always be missed.

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The Stupid Cupid

“Ahhh, I love you! I want to marry you!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

It must be Valentines Day in this short, because Cupid is joyously spreading love. I bet you didn’t know Elmer was cupid, did you? (His laughs are not supplied by the usual Arthur Q. Bryan, but rather by a one Frank Graham.) But this cupid doesn’t really seem to care about matching the right creatures together. Sure, he has a bird immediately grab a mate, (and build a house) and gets a stallion to jump out of his shoes, for a mare but he also has a dog fall for the cat he was about to eat. (The cat proceeds to shoot his nine lives away.) So, I guess Cupid’s a mad shipper.

Either way, Daffy is next on his agenda. But Daffy is not happy to see Cupid again. Yes, they have a history. Apparently the year before, Daffy was shot by one of Cupid’s love darts, (And I don’t mean the kind used by snails.) and ended up being shot gun married and having some ducklings. Yes, one has two heads. (You didn’t think Duckman was completely original did you?) Daffy uses Cupid’s bow to launch him away, but Cupid just giggles it off. He prepares a monstrous arrow and manages to hit the duck. The first creature that Daffy spots is (9, 10) a big fat hen.

He happily starts trying to hit on her. Emily (that’s really her name, I didn’t have to make one up this time.) is no whore, and runs away. Eventually, Daffy finds her in a closet and begins smooching. This would be a terrible time for Emily’s husband to show up. Just then, Emily’s husband shows up, and pries them apart. (Emily looks a little too calm kissing Daffy.) The rooster (let’s call him…Rocko) gets ready to pummel the duck when Daffy comes to his senses. He explains that it was Cupid’s fault and apologizes stating he’s a family man as well. (Bringing his family in for a cameo to prove it) Rocko is a kind soul, and forgives the duck letting him go.

Daffy is grateful and doesn’t notice Cupid is still out there. One shot later, and he jumps in between the chicken’s make out session. And it fades out rather quickly. Apparently there was an original ending where Daffy said, “Don’t knock it till you try it!” (Sorry Daffy, that’s not what I think of when I picture a hot chick.)

Personal Rating: 4

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Porky’s Poultry Plant

“He-He-Here ch-ch-ch-ch-chick ch-ch-chick!”

Directed by Frank Tash. (His first for Warner Bros.)  Released in 1936

At the titular plant, a rooster rousts everyone out of bed. Porky included. He sets to work taking care of his birds. (This scene becomes less precious when you remember WHY poultry is raised. Sorry for ruining your happiness.) He has many chickens, ducks and geese and they are very hungry. Porky satisfies their cravings by giving them corn. One chick just can’t fight the rush. Porky pretends to throw a huge handful, and gives it all to the chick. He’s even willing to charm some worms out of the ground for the other chicks. Yes, it seems like nothing could ever go wrong here.

But sadly, Porky has lost several good hens. One was taken in June of 1936. (The same year Tashlin started at W.B) Another was named Dorothy. (Like Tashlin’s wife.) It seems they were all the victims of a hawk. (Looks more like an eagle to me.) Said hawk is actually cruising overhead, looking for tasty morsels. Porky rings the alarm and all the birds take cover. After the predator leaves, one hen realizes one of her chicks is missing. Yes it appears that the hawk did make off with little (lets call him) Chippy. Rather than letting nature take its course, Porky gets in his airplane and goes after him. Seriously though, if the hawk got the mother, than ALL the chicks would die.  (Yes, I am glad Porky is so devoted to his birds.)

He manages to shoot off the buteo’s tail feathers and this causes it to call for reserves. Many hawks arrive and torture Porky by pulling his tail, and dropping eggs on him. (Uhhhhhh… That’s like a human… never mind. I’m not going there.) The battle goes into a cloud, where the birds get Porky’s gun away from him. They shoot and Porky goes down. All’s good though, he crashes into a windmill and gets a brand new propeller. Then for the best part: they start a game of football WITH the chick! (That is hilarious, cruel, and adorable all at once.) The rooster (Ted Pierce) narates everything.

After a few passes, one of the hawks fumbles. Porky gets Chippy back and expels some exhaust for the hawks to fly into. I don’t know if it kills them or knocks them out, but as they fall, the hens dig a hole for them to fall into, and bury them. So, they’re definitely dead now. Porky returns Chippy to his mother and all is well. OR IS IT? A shadow flies over the plant, sending the hen into hysterics. Porky readies his gun, but all IS well. The shadow belonged to the weather vane.

Personal Rating: 4

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Booby Hatched

“Who turned off the heat?”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

You know what this Sunday is? If you don’t then go look at a calendar.

Sorry. That was rude. (You may not even have a calendar.) It is Mother’s day. And one of the sweetest things to me, is the relationship between mother and child. How they are willing to die for them, and how the child sees the mother as essentially an almighty superhero, who can protect them from anything. I’m rambling. Let’s talk about a short dealing with such love.

It’s winter, and a duck (with teeth) is desperately trying to hatch some eggs. (She also has no name. I shall call her Ethel.) It is really cold, and the eggs have begun to turn blue. (The father was a smurf.) She holds them up to a light to see inside, and finds the soon to be ducklings sneezing, warming themselves by a stove, skating and skiing. (At least they’re not dead.) She does her best to keep them warm, but the poor things are below subzero! Time for drastic measures.

As much as it pains her, Ethel sticks her rump right up to a lantern. She’s in agony, but a true mother won’t let her children die, if she can help it. When she’s done, she goes over. The eggs hatch before she sits down. (“Don’t do it! We’ll come out.”) I guess it’s warmer outside than in an egg, so the new family heads down to the pond for a swim. Uh Oh! One egg didn’t hatch all the way. Craving warmth, the egg with legs goes off to find his mother. Ethel meanwhile, is doing a head count and finds that her little Robespierre (such a great name for any generation) is missing.

Finding his footprints, she follows them into the woods. Robespierre is nearly dead, but finds his mom wearing a fur coat. (A bear.) And he slips under “her.” The bear takes it rather well. (“So I laid an egg.”) But this was all seen by a hungry wolf. Wait, is that William? No, his mailbox says he is known as B. B. (So he’s a transvestite. Because Bebe? Forget it) He uses some TNT to blow the bear off, and happily takes his prize home. The bear takes it rather well. (“Dreams like this, worry me, ya know.”) B.B. runs into Ethel on his way back, and the two keep swiping Robespierre from the other. Eventually, Ethel gets home with a doorknob.

B.B. is preparing some egg drop soup, when Ethel returns and pokes his eyes through the key hole. She then rescues her son. Is he grateful? Heck no, he was finally getting warm. He dives back in.

Personal Rating: 3

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I Got Plenty of Mutton

“Ohhh my precious…BAAA!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

It’s a little late to say this, but it is the year of the sheep according to the lunar new year calendar. So let’s talk about a sheep short, shall we?

Due to an O.P.A. ruling, there is no meat for wolves. A crisis, seeing as how they are carnivores. One fellow, tries to make the best of his situation and sets some water to boil. This wolf (who I shall call William) makes sure no one watches as he grabs a very precious ingredient for his soup. A single, tiny bone. He dunks it a few times and puts it back in his hiding place. Alas! While his back was turned, mice sipped every drop. William has no choice to adapt to a herbivorous diet.

While eating his steamed pea, he glances at the paper. What luck! A local sheepdog has left his herd to join the army. Easy pickins! William tosses his precious bone away and heads out. Look at all the tasty morsels. He dives in and finds himself face to face with a ram. Pulling out the paper again, William sees that the article went on to explain that a ram named Killer-Diller. (No relation to any “Thugs with dirty Mugs“) is now guarding the flock. (It even helpfully points out that the ram in front of him is Killer) The ram butts William away.

William in turn gets a box that’s just labeled “Costume.” Said costume is a ewe. (I guess it’s supposed to be sexy, but it freaks me out. Maybe if I was fleecy.) He pretties himself up and readies some weapons to take Killer down. Killer likes what he sees. There’s no other word for it: he’s horny. His horns even uncurl, point straight out, and turn red! (I feel a little uncomfortable seeing that.) He rushes over to whisper sweet nothings into “her” ear. William tries to club him, but the shock knocks his costume off. By “shear” luck though, he manages to get it back on and lures Killer to follow him. He drops a safe on the ram, but he pops right out to continue his session. (His hooves turn white briefly.)

William tries to fire a cannon, but Killer is in there too and continues to smooch the poor creature. William makes a run for it with Killer in hot pursuit. Later that night, William is still on the “Lamb” but he is getting tired, while Killer still has plenty of steam. Deciding it’s not worth it, William breaks the charade and tears the costume off, revealing he’s a wolf. Killer doesn’t mind: He’s one too! Figuratively! Iris out on the chase going off into the moonlight.

Personal Rating: 3

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Puss N’ Booty

“Have you any more canaries?”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1943

When Merrie Melodies first came out, the main difference between them and their Looney counterparts was that they did not have a main character. As time went by, Merrie Melodies became the shorts that were colored, and Looney Tunes were still black and white. This here is the last black and white one. After this, I have no idea what the difference was between the two, if there was any.

A lady (Bea Benedarret) comes home and finds her canary, Dickie, gone. Rudolph the cat hasn’t seen him, but seems genuinely worried, and helps search. (After he hiccups some feathers.) As soon as his owner leaves the room, he whistles like a bird and opens a window. She comes back to find the cat sobbing and waving goodbye. That makes 5 canaries gone in one month. Most people would give up and consider it a waste of money. But not (let’s call her) Megan. She calls the pet shop  up to see if they have any more of those birds. (Rudolph prays for a yes.)

Happy days! They will send another one right over. Rudolph obviously has a severe case of gluttony as he paces back and forth many times and gets excited at every passing truck. (Canaries must be really tasty. Anyone have a recipe?) Finally, the truck shows up with the newest addition to the family, Petey. Megan loves him very much and gives him plenty of seed, telling him to eat it all and grow up big and strong. (Rudolph agrees with that statement.) She also gives the cat a saucer of either milk or cream, (whatever one gives them) and leaves the room. Rudolph spits out the dairy and immediately enters vicious mode. He pounces, but Petey is quite the resourceful bird and flies up, lifting his cage to safety, and making Rudolph crash. (Forget the seed. I think he’s plenty strong already.)

Rudolph ties the cage down, (and I can’t help but think if he was able to do that, he could have already snatched Petey.) and pounces again. This time the bird opens both of the doors and Rudolph crashes again. That night, Rudolph gets into Petey’s cage and a huge fight ensues. Megan comes downstairs and finds Rudolph missing. She asks a sleeping Petey if he’s seen her, but he hasn’t. However, before the short ends, he does hiccup Rudolph’s ribbon. Don’t mess with a bird that makes the food chain his hen.

Personal Rating: 4