Category: Porky Pig

My favorite character of all time! Second only to Bugs for most appearances, and that’s not small, folks.

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Bah, Humduck! (A Looney Tunes Christmas)

“What do I look like, an ATM?”

Merry Christmas to all who visit my humble blog! With Christmas nearby, it is time to talk about this direct to DVD movie.

It starts with our narrator, Bugs Bunny. He declares that even though rabbits are associated with Easter, he still loves Christmas. (Besides, remember the last Easter we saw Bugs? That’d sour anyone’s mood.) He is nearly hit by a limo. The owner of said limo? Daffy Duck. Owner of the Luckyduck Superstore. He has an awesome hover scooter, and not one speck of generosity. He refuses to help a poor, homeless, (Playboy) penguin, and steals the generosity bucket of carolers Egghead Jr., Henrey Hawk, Barnyard Dawg as a puppy for some reason, (?) and Priscilla Pig. (more on this cutie, later.)

Daffy has many employees working at his store. Including Sam Sheepdog, Miss Prissy, Charlie Dog, the Three Bears, a security guard (Gossamar) who is sitting on Santa (Cecil) Turtle’s lap, Foghorn Leghorn, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Claude Cat, Hubie and Bertie, Mac and Tosh, Beaky Buzzard, Hippitey Hopper, and  a (Pete) Puma janitor. (Just like his role in “Tiny Toon Aventures”!) He also has some employees with a bit more personality. Including Elmer Fudd, who works very hard, and is exhausted. Wile E. Coyote, who is constantly hungry, Marvin the Martian who is homesick and wishes to return home for the holidays, (Martian Christmas?) Speedy Gonazales who does wrapping, Pepe Le Pew, who tries to get to know a shopper who looks just like a skunk, (No really. Penelope just has a stripe.) and my man, Porky Pig, his assisstant manager. Whom Daffy shortly demotes to assisstant-assissant manager.

Bugs warns him that greedy people tend to get visited by Christmas ghosts. Daffy has no worry and heads to his office. There, he is visited by his idol, Sylvester the (Cat) Investor. He was the greediest person around, before he was murdered. Daffy now has that title, and is being warned that he must change his ways. He may be spooked, but Daffy is sure this is a prank, and pays it little heed.

After being visited by Bugs again, (He was searching for cheap skates, and was directed up here.) he gets a passage delivered by a Roadrunner. (I have no idea if he is an employee or not.) It is a gift Daffy sent to himself, a godly remote that can do just about anything for his office. His employees then come asking for favors, but are all snubbed. Porky just wants to have Christmas off so he can spend time with his daughter, Priscilla. (Now let me just say, that she is ADORABLE! Tara Strong really knows how to bring in a cuter than cute performance.)  Daffy refuses and demands that everyone come in at 5:00 AM the next day. (Where else are the last minute Kwanzaa shoppers supposed to go?) Everyone leaves discouraged.

Bugs is still there with Daffy as the exits are covered in snow. Daffy demands they separate and soon after, is visited by the ghost of Christmas past. Or rather ghosts. Granny and Tweety take Daffy back to his past, and we see how hard his childhood was. He lived at an orphanage, and was never adopted. Morons. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt the world’s funniest duck? (I said FUNNIEST, not most popular. And for that matter where is that swan? She took him in only to leave him behind?) This does little to change his ways and Daffy just wants to use their powers “Back to the Future 2” style to get more money. He is sent back to the store.

The ghost of Christmas present is played by… Yosemite Sam? I think you could have chosen a better character for that. Maybe switch with Sylvester? Anyways, he shows Daffy how hard his employees lives really are. Another adorable scene shows, that Priscilla wants two things for Christmas, a doll, and for her daddy to spend it with her. (Too. Cute.  Daffy is not convinced quite yet, and just begs Bugs to hide him from the promised third ghost, once he returns.

They reenact “Tom Turk and Daffy” but ultimately Daffy is taken away by the ghost of Christmas future, the Tasmanian Devil. He sees his grave, and learns that his employees are out of jobs, because he tried to will the store to himself. Porky remarks that at least he and Priscilla can spend Christmas together. (I meant she with Porky! She didn’t die yet, sickos!) Being an angel anyway, she leaves some cookies on Daffy’s resting place, (which look hilarious, since they look like him) and wishes him luck, since she knows he’s not in heaven. (*Laughing* Best joke right there!)

Daffy finally resolves to change his ways and the next morning, gives everyone a paid vacation, as well as a rocket home for Marvin, and a personal chef for Wile. (Francois from “French Rarebit”) Even Pepe gets a kiss from Penelope. (Her choice even! She wasn’t bribed!) Daffy sees how much his generosity is going to cost him, and briefly tries to take it all back. That’s when Priscilla offers him a hilarious looking cookie, and calls him “Uncle”. (I wish she’d do that to me.) Daffy remains generous to the delight of Bugs and the ghosts. We end with Priscilla saying our “That’s all Folks!” (Did i mention how adorable she is?)

Overall this short, is nothing grand, but if you are a Looney Tunes fan, you’ll enjoy it.

Personal Rating: 2 for the common folk, 3 for the Looney-tics.

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Porky’s Party

“M-Mad dog!” “M-Mad dog!”

It’s Porky’s Birthday! (He’s 5 years old?) And it just so happens that his uncle has sent him a silkworm as a present. (Porky’s address states residency in Hollywood.) To get the silkworm to work, one must say “sew”. At first it works great, making a nice sock. Then we see how naughty the insect really is, as he knits a bra next.

Porky puts it away, as it is time to prepare for his guests. His dog, Black Fury, follows and watches Porky pour on some hair growth formula. The dog follows suit, and discovers it’s 99% alcohol. He starts chugging it. At the door Porky greets his first guest. Random Penguin who seems to have only come for the food. (At least he gave Porky a present. I wonder what’s in it.) His other guest is Goosey. Some moronic goose, who only gives Porky a gag handshake. Porky comments on the fact that he is “so silly.” SO silly?

The silkworm starts his stuff and various pieces of womens underwear comes out of Porky’s clothes. In panic he throws it away and it lands in the penguin’s ice cream. (He is really going to twon, ain’t he? Not even a brain-freeze.) The bird soon finds a sock and a top hat in the dessert. Worse still, he finds a hat in his head. (He ate the silkworm!) His head keeps popping up into a top hat shape, to his frustration. Goosey tries to help by hitting him with a hammer, and slamming him into a wall. (According to storyboards, these two were originally supposed to be Gabby Goat and Petunia Pig. No idea why they changed from ungulates to birds.)

Back to Black Fury. The formula seems to have worked as he is now covered in hair. Drunk, he decides to shave. He slathers on some shaving cream, and accidentally turns on the “Letrick” shaver. Scared, he runs to Porky. But because of his appearance, they all think he is rabid. All three run. (Pengy seems to not have hat problems now.) After a chase, the penguin and dog are stuck in a bed together. They fight and it is revealed who the dog is. Seeing this, the penguin rolls up his… arm? Sleeve? And says “so” ready for another fight. The silkworm who is still not digested begins making more clothes, eventually wrapping the penguin in a cocoon. Goosey then hits him on the head again.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky’s Romance

“Ladies and Gentlemen! Introducing Leon Scheslinger’s new Looney Tune Star: Petunia Pig!”

After her grand debut makes her look like a basket case, Porky is shown happily buying a ring, candy, and flowers. (I don’t trust that ring.) He makes his way to Petunia’s place and eagerly rings her doorbell. Petunia sees it’s Porky and rejects him. As does her dog, Flumnums. (I don’t care what you say, THAT is the ugliest dog I ever saw!)

Porky somehow heard her through the door, and leaves, crying. Flumnums suddenly sees something that is sure to capture Petunia’s attention: the big box of candy Porky has. She immediately runs out, grabs him, (and the candy) and makes to her couch, where she begins *ahem* pigging out on the sweets. She shares with Flumnums and Porky can’t help but lick his lips. Flumnums won’t let Porky take any however. Porky finally gets one anyway, only for the dog to steal it. (and ruin his hat.)

Porky finally gets to why he came here at all. He proposes. (Interesting note: It’s the last time Doughtery voiced him. Blanc would come in next to show him, how it’s done.) Petunia laughs at Porky and he leaves brokenhearted. He goes to hang himself. (Woah, wait a minute Porky. Let’s talk about this, it’s not worth it!) Lucky for everyone in the audience, he doesn’t die. His weight causes the branch to snap and hit him on the head. Porky then has a vision of what the world would be like if he wasn’t born… oh wait, this short came out first. Instead he see’s what would happen if he married his dream girl.

After a wedding that everyone came to see, they drive off to spend their honeymoon in a hotel. (The license plate says 13OO13. Uh-Oh) However time waits for no pig and it munches on. Years later, Petunia is no longer Mrs. Pig, she is now Mrs. Hog. It appears that all she spends her time doing is eating candy with Flumnums. (What breed is he? Obese.) So, where does that leave Porky? Doing all the housework. He breaks some dishes which cause his children to wake up. (I think they’re all boys, as they’re all named Porky Jr.) Petunia yells at him to shut the brats up and hits him with the stereotypical housewife weapon: a rolling pin, to the piglets’ amusement.

Porky comes back to reality to find Petunia apologizing and agreeing to marry him. (Flumnums is also there, cuddling Porky.) Porky remembers what his dream told him and he runs for the hills. Only coming back to take the candy with him. (And give Flumnums a well deserved kick.)

Personal Rating: 3

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I Haven’t got a Hat

“Listen m-my-m-m-m-my children and you shall hear, of the m-m-mi-m-midnight r-ri-ride of P-P-Paul-P-P-Paul R-R-Revere.”

Hello children. You now may recite for your parents today.

(What the heck is wrong with that student in the lower right?)

Now for the birth of my favorite cartoon character ever: Porky Pig! And he’s not alone. This short starts off with a cast of characters. Also appearing is the school teacher: Mrs. Cud the teacher, Beans the cat, Oliver Owl, and the puppies, Ham and Ex. (They point at us and whisper. Am I the only one who wants to know what they’re saying? Because I love attention!)

At the local schoolhouse the students are performing for their parents. First up is a timid little guy, who had no idea he will become the worlds most famous pig. (I don’t care what ignorant children think.) This is Porky’s beginning. He tries to recite “The ride of Paul Revere.” (This is B.B. Before Blanc. Originally it was a man named Joe Doughtery, a REAL stutterer.) Porky has such a difficult time that the crowd gets tired and whistles a pack of dogs to chase Porky off. Jerks. (Yes there are dogs that are anthropomorphic and some that aren’t. Why question it?)

Next up is Kitty, and if you thought Porky was nervous, well, she is just downright petrified. Porky at least went on stage of his own free will. Kitty can’t even finish “Mary had a Little Lamb.” She’s so scared she bolts at the last verse. Next are the pups, who sing our title song. In the crowd Oliver gets out some candy to munch. Not only does he refuse to share with Beans, (Who for the record didn’t really ask) he sticks his tongue out at him. The next performance (in this line of characters that WB was pretty much using to figure out which would be a good replacement for Buddy) is Oliver himself. He takes his candy, turns his nose…beak up at Beans, and goes to play the piano.

To get his revenge, Beans sneaks around outside and puts a non-anthro cat in the piano. To add to the chaos he then adds a dog. Suddenly the piano starts playing “The Storm” by itself, to Oliver’s amazement. The audience can’t see him behind the instrument, so they think he is a musical prodigy. When the music ends, Oliver happily takes the credit. Just at that moment the animals leap out, and the cheers become jeers. Ollie sees Beans laughing and sprsys green ink at him. The force causes Beans to fall back and launch some red paint back at the bird. Caught in the same predicament, the two shake hands and share a truce.

Personal Rating: 3

(Seriously, what is wrong with that student in the bottom right?)

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Swooner Crooner

“G-G-Gee Wiz! That’s swell fellas!”

Its the middle of WWII. Doing his part, Porky has all the hens who work at Flockheed Factory laying eggs for soldiers. They get in nests and powerhouse their way through the place, before laying an egg in a private area. (And don’t worry if you can’t lay any, Porky will force you to)

Work will be the last thing on the hen’s minds when a Sinatra Rooster is outside. They leave to swoon and reenact scenes that also appear in the animated part of “Two guys form Texas.” Porky needs those chickens back, but they’ve been seduced so much that only a crooner of equal or better value could lure them back.

Porky holds auditions and rejects the poultry versions of Nelson Eddy, Al Jolson, Jimmy Durante, and Cab Calloway. He finds his man (er bird) in the form of a one Bing Crosby rooster. His singing has the hens “flocking” to him and subsequently laying eggs again. Frankie can’t have that and a battle of the singers ensues. Much later Porky is admiring the mountains of eggs he now has. He wants to know their secret. They start singing and (in a scene I could see as the ending to a “Twilight Zone” episode) Porky begins to lay eggs too.

Personal Rating: 4

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The Film Fan

“A L-loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and come home right away.”

It’s the grand opening of a theater! Their feature film is the broken leg. (It has a large cast. *Rimshot*) To celebrate this occasion, kids are admitted free! (To add to the greatness, the theater advertises Looney Tunes and “The Ahs of a Wizard” That’s a good contender for the best pun I’ve ever heard.)

Porky is a child in this short, and he is on an errand for his mother. He can’t control himself when he learns of the free admission, and rushes in. A newsreel tells us that short tempered doctors tend to lose patients, and we see a powerful microscope, (courtesy of Prof. Widebottom) which shows bacteria happily playing in the bloodstream. Porky, meanwhile can’t see the screen where he is and rushes up to the front, where the view is stretched out.

A feature starring the masked marvel shows the titular hero and his horse splitting up to take different paths. A duck in the audience shoots his gum at the horse, much to the equines annoyance. The theater gets a phone call, and an employee announces that a little boy who was sent on an errand run is wanted at home by his mother. Upon hearing this, the whole audience leaves.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky’s Road Race

“On your mark… Get set… SCRAM!”

First of all, I must mention that this short is purely coincidental. If you see anyone who resembles a famous actor, disregard it. It is pure luck. However, I will still call them by the names of who they remind me of. Now then:

It’s time for a big race and the winner gets a cool $1,000,000! (Tax deductibles aside leaves one with a cool $1.63!) Porky is hard at work fine tuning his vehicle. It’s a humble car. The competition includes: Laurel and Hardy riding on a seesaw that is pumping a tire, Charlie Chaplin who accidentally hurts W.C. Fields’ nose, Enda May Olliver, who Fields helps fine tune hiccuping vehicle, Greta Garbo, happily working alone on her car, and Charles Laughton, who has a literal motor boat.

In a locked up area, we see a character known as Borax Karloff. He has a huge car, that is sure to be full of tricks. The race is about to start, and Porky is the clear favorite. (Remember him? His name IS in the title.) It begins and most of the other racers fall victim to Karloff’s tricks. Laughton successfully dodges most of the traps, but can’t avoid the torpedo sent his way. Karloff disables the majority with a squirt of glue, but not Porky. The glue sticks to his wheels ,and bricks stick to them, making some nice treads.

Karloff tries grease, but that just causes the treads to pop off and hit him in the head. After exiting a tunnel our two last competitors have switched cars. Karloff is in the lead and raises a drawbridge to keep Porky from completing the race. Porky uses the bridge as a ramp and launches to the finish line first. The judges award him a crown, but Olliver (whose car is reduced to nearly nothing) drives by stealing the crown for herself. Enjoy your brief victory, kid. I’ll be returning that prize to the REAL champion now, thank you.

Personal Rating: 3

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Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

What? Sure its a Disney movie, but if you know that, than I am quite certain you know that a few  Looney Tunes were actually allowed to cameo in it. I am not going to describe the plot, though, because if you have not seen this movie you should be ashamed. If you haven’t seen it and call yourself an animation lover, (Such as myself,) then rectify your crime immediately. It won’t be a regret.  What I am going to do is just point out the Looney Tunes I saw. If you have seen more please let me know. (I’m noting the character’s actual appearances. Passing mentions and still pictures aren’t fun to find. No mention of the infamous deleted funeral scene either. Just thinking about what could have been makes me cry.)

At Maroon studios: Bugs is hard to spot, but as Valiant strolls through the lot, right before the scene changes to the entrance, you can spot him. He’s on the left of the screen. Then, when the scene changes, you can see the Dodo walking into the studio. He is in his “Dough for the Do-do” color scheme.

At the ink and paint club: The infamous scene where Donald and Daffy duel with pianos. (Playing my favorite music piece, no less.)

Near the Acme factory: Yosemite Sam flies out of Toontown

Toontown: Tweety and Bugs are here. It’s hard to miss them. Wile E. and the Roadrunner can be more difficult, though. Don’t blink as Valiant ascends in the elevator. Their silhouettes, and by extension bodies, can be seen.

Ending: You can see Bugs, Daffy, Yosemite Sam, Tweety, the Roadrunner, Wile E Coyote, Foghorn, Marvin, Sylvester, Speedy, and Sam sheepdog. And of course what kid of movie would it be if it did not end with Porky saying “That’s all Folks!”

Yes I know that Wile E. and the Roadrunner, Speedy, Sam Sheepdog, and Marvin were not around at the time this movie takes place, but if you are going to complain about that, then you should also complain that all the flags in the movie have 50 stars. As for the Looney Tunes vocals,  they were still provided by Mel Blanc. Except for Yosemite Sam, but that is forgivable as Blanc was aging at this time, and he could not yell like he used to.

Personal Rating: 5

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You Ought to be in Pictures

“You mean to say you want to get out of your cartoon contract?”

Once upon a time, Friz Freleng left Warner Bros. for MGM. Long story short, he hated it. He did get his old job back and this was his short he made to thank everyone for the welcome home.

At the Warner Bros. studio, everyone goes for lunch. Daffy tells Porky that his talent is too great to be squandered in cartoons and that he should go into the full-length movies. Porky somewhat agrees, and goes to talk to Schelsinger. (Interesting note. Leon is the only one doing his own voice. Everyone else (including the studio guard played by Micahel Maltese) is played by Blanc) He lets Porky out of his contract, knowing he’ll be back.

Porky leaves for the movie studio, but the guard won’t let him in. (I don’t know if he’s being a dick or he doesn’t know who Porky is.) Porky disguises himself as Olliver Hardy and sneaks in. He disrupts a film, is thrown out, and decides to get his old job back. Daffy meanwhile has used this opportunity to sell himself as the new star. When Porky comes back and discovers this, he beats Daffy to a pulp, and gets his own job back. Happy, he gets back on the drawing board and throws a tomato at Daffy.

Personal Rating: 5

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A Corny Concerto

“Gweetings, music wovers.”

Its a parody of “Fantasia” which is one of the finest films ever. So what would a Looney Tune based on it be? About 629,087,356.5 times better!  (Give or take.)

Our host is Elmer (as parody of Deems Taylor) and he lets us know the first segment will be “Tales from the Vienna woods” (All the while his dicky is giving him problems) It is a classic tale of a hunter going after Bugs. Since Elmer is on host duty, it’s none other than Porky who takes on the job. (One of the very few times Porky appeared on screen with Bugs.) Porky’s dog finds Bugs and learns that this will not be so easy.

Porky and the dog dive into a bush which Bugs is hiding in, and soon Bugs tosses their gun away. It lands in a tree infuriating a squirrel who takes aim and fires. The three hold their chests assuming the worst. Porky and the dog turn out to be fine, but when Bugs peeks at his supposed wound he passes out. Porky and the dog try to get his hands open to see the wound and instead find a BRA! Bugs screams, places the brassiere on the two’s heads, and dances into the sunset.

Elmer informs us that the next segment will be “The Blue Danube” (As his pants fall down now) It is a tale of the ugly duckling. This time however, it really is a duckling as opposed to a swan. A baby Daffy to be precise. (There you have it. Clampett also created “Baby Looney Tunes”) He wants to join a family of swans, but the mother refuses to have him around. The family is spotted by a vulture who decides to have the cygnets for brunch. (He doesn’t want Daffy either)

The mother swan passes out when she finds out, and Daffy flies to their rescue. He knocks the vulture out and hands him TNT which kills him. (I’ve seen this part on an episode of Bill Nye) Daffy is now accepted as part of the swans family and swims with them. (His reflection crashes into a tree)

Personal Rating: 5