Bewitched Bunny

“She is a witch, and means to eat you for her supper.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Lloyd Vaughan, Ken Harris, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1954.

Chuck Jones must’ve really enjoyed the Disney character, Witch Hazel from the 1952 short “Trick or Treat”, and so he would create his own, and this was her first appearance. (Let’s be honest. His has way more personality)

Bugs is reading the story of Hansel and Gretel. Much to his surprise, he finds he’s become part of the story and has just come to the part where the witch invites the kids into her gingerbread house. (It doesn’t look like gingerbread, but let’s be fair: it wouldn’t last long if it really was.) The kids are your stereotypical German kids, and as such they have thick accents and hefty appetites. They accept her offer for more food and follow her inside. This looks like a job for the masked Avenger! (Iron man?) But since he’s not around, Bugs’ll have to do.

Inside, the kids are chowing down and are oblivious to the fact they are sitting in a large pan. Hazel (who is not voice by June Foray in this short, but rather Bea Bennederet) is glancing over the various dishes she can make with the kids. (Urchin Pie is a great delicacy, speaking personally.) Bugs arrives dressed as a truant officer and finds the kids. (He also realizes what a weird name Hansel is.) He warns them of their impending fate and they waste no time believing him and hightail it out of there. Personally, I’d stick around. This house is cool! Look at that decor! The window curtains are painted on, and there’s a picture of a boat labeled: witchcraft. (Genius!)

Bugs takes off his disguise as he accomplished his mission. But it might have been better to wait until he was outside as Hazel decides to have a rabbit dinner instead. She mounts her broom (that channels the spirit of Charlie Chaplin) but crashes. Good thing she is a witch. Magic works wonders! And she happens to have several sleeping potions on standby. (Did you know that worm sweat residue is one?) She cooks up a brew and fills up a carrot with it. (She has a jar of nice on the shelf. If she only wasn’t out of sugar and spice. She could make her own girls from scratch.) Bugs catching a whiff of food cooking comes in and delivers my favorite line he has ever said: “I get to lick the po-ot! I get to lick the po-ot!” Hysterical.

Hazel shoos him out while she finishes. She then finishes. Bugs sits down to dine while she prepares a bed for him. Bet you didn’t know that Rabbits sleep in piles of root vegetables. Upon learning the carrot he ate was poisoned, he falls asleep. (No it wasn’t. Drugged maybe, but not poisoned. Hazel doesn’t want to die.) Hazel goes to get some relish. (You can’t eat rabbit without relish. It’d be like eating urchin pie without gravy.) And then a handsome prince arrives. Or at least what many girls consider handsome. I’m heterosexual so I’m not sure. He awakes Bugs with a kiss. The rabbit is grateful, but points out he should be looking for Snow White. (The prince for the record also realizes what a weird name Hansel is.)

Hazel resumes the chase and Bugs appears to be trapped. Finding some magic powder that is to only be used in emergencies, he hurls it at her. She turns into a rabbit doe, and the hallway gets a romantic makeover. Bugs immediately falls head over heels for her. As they walk away, Bugs take note of our obviously skeptical faces. He knows it may be a little creepy, but then, aren’t all women witches inside? (Please note: The views expressed by Mister Bugs Bunny do not accurately reflect the opinions of the author of this blog. Only some women are truly witches. However one thing we all can agree on is this: Hansel is a weird name.)

Personal Rating: 3

Some commercials aired during “The Bugs Bunny Show”

Directed by Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones, and Bob McKimson.

#1. A promo for the show. Besides mentioning that Bugs and Daffy are in it. The only characters they mention are Oscar winners: Pepe, Tweety, Sam, Sylvester and Speedy. C’mon, where is the love for Porky? Never letting him win is why I can’t trust their opinions.(On another note, Porky still hasn’t forgiven me for showing his breakdown reel.)

Personal Rating: 2

#2. Bugs is eating Post Alpha-bits but runs out. He needs more because they are made of oats, and oats give you energy. So he blows up a balloon to hop the fence of Elmer, who shoots him down. (That’s Mel voicing Elmer. He hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet.) Bugs ends up landing in the man’s kitchen and dazes Fudd. Sending Elmer out the door, saying he’s going home, Bugs enjoys his ill gotten gains. Elmer comes back to his senses and throws Bugs out. Bugs comes back and takes the cereal. He’s going to need all their energy to escape the gunfire.

Personal Rating: 3

#3. While eating Post Alpha-bits, Bugs hears Elmer approaching. Seems someone robbed him of his bits. Disguised as a cop, Bugs hears Elmer blame him before asking him to describe the bits. Elmer describes them as only one can in a commercial. (It’s cereal…er surreal hearing a commercial mentioning their product has sugar. That won’t fly today.)

Personal Rating: 3

#4. Bugs (in disguise) hops on Elmer’s tandem bike with him. Seems Post Alpha-bits are now brown sugar frosted. (Which lets be honest, brown sugar tastes better than plain.) Bugs takes them for himself. (Somehow splitting the bike in two) and digs in. Elmer brought his gun with him though, but it doesn’t matter as Bugs ate them all. But he makes up for it and brings Fudd more. Distracted by the generosity, Elmer bikes off a cliff.

Personal Rating: 3

#5. Enough with the bits. Bugs shows off how strong he has gotten by eating Post Sugar Crisp. The whole wheat makes him invulnerable to the hammers Daffy tries to smash him with.

Personal Rating: 2

#6. Seeing Sam coming his way with Post Sugar Crisp, Bugs disguises himself as a guy at a hunting lodge. Sam tells how he is hunting Bugs because he steals Post Sugar Crisp to make him strong. Bugs demonstrates, but is kind enough to invite Sam to join him. Since he can’t beat him, Sam does.

Personal Rating: 2

#7. Sam is panning for gold. Watching from the bushes, Bugs comes out in prospector garb and tells him that Cactus Canyon has just had a gold rush. Sam leaves asking Bugs to watch his claim. Bugs was really only after his Tang. He gets it and escapes from the angry Sam.

Personal Rating: 3

#8. Bugs is running a carnival game. Shoot a duck and win Tang. (Which he mentions is orange flavor. Isn’t that the only flavor it comes in? Even a good 50 years later?) Daffy hates to hurt a potential relative but really wants the Tang. (Sound reasoning.) He misses and finds out that Bugs was hampering his chances. Being the one holding a rifle, Daffy takes over the game. Hit Bugs and win the Tang! (It’s refreshing to see Daffy win for once. So is Tang!)

Personal Rating: 4

#9. Bugs as a bartender in a saloon faces a customer. It’s Sam who demands a drink. Bugs only has Tang which Sam begrudgingly takes. He likes it! Turns out he’s a wanted criminal though. (No! Really?) He makes Bugs dance, but the rabbit uses a rope to tie him up. Sam requests just one more glass of Tang. Bugs refuses.

Personal Rating: 3

#10. Bugs is going into space as the first rabbit to land on Jupiter. Elmer launches him. It was all a ruse to keep Bugs from stealing his Tang. Removing one’s Tang supply is the best way to get even. Upon landing Bugs finds that not only is there air on Jupiter, (I mean, why else would he take the helmet off?) but the planet gets its orange color from all the Tang there. At least he won’t bother you anymore, Elmer.

Personal Rating: 3

#11. Bugs and Daffy squabble over a Post cereal 6-pack. Nothing more.

Personal Rating: 1

#12. Bugs tells of Post cereal. Nothing less. (They remembered Porky existed!)

Personal Rating: 2

(Those grades are me basing on how well I think they advertised their products.)

The Abominable Snow Rabbit

“I AIN’T NO BUNNY RABBIT!”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Co-Directed by Maurice Noble; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Harris, Richard Thompson, Bob Bransford, and Tom Ray; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard. Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1961

On a snowy mountain, we see an all too familiar burrow move through the frosty ground. It’s Bugs, en route to Palm Springs. Daffy is along for the trip and heads off to go for a dip before Bugs can warn him that things aren’t quite right. Daffy ends up diving into a frozen pond. (Ouch.) After consulting a map, Bugs finds they have ended up in the Himalayas. (Which Daffy corrects his pronunciation of. I like that Daffy has at least one thing he can do better.) Upset that Bugs got them sidetracked in Asia, Daffy heads off on his own without Bugs.

It’s not long before he bumps into a yeti. This is Hugo. (Although he wouldn’t get his name until the TV special “Bug’s Bunny’s Bustin out all over’s” “Spaced out Bunny.”) There’s no need to panic though, this yeti isn’t going to eat Daffy. (Although that might be the preferred option.) He mistakes Daffy for a bunny rabbit, and names him George. (Daffy had been keeping his arms inside his bathing suit to conserve heat, leaving the sleeves looking a bit like long ears.) When Daffy points out they are sleeves and not ears, Hugo spanks him for lying. (They call that tough love.) But the duck offers up the whereabouts of a real rabbit.

Calling Bugs over allows the duck to escape, while the yeti happily cuddles his new George. (Daffy acknowledges the fact he’s a jerk, but at least he’s alive.) Hugo then decides to sit on Bugs much like a mother hen. (oooooooooooooookayyyyyyy…) Seeing his opportunity, Bugs burrows out and goes to get Daffy back. (Who I must point out is saying some great lines that I use frequently myself. “I’m not like other people. I can’t stand pain. It hurts me.” I relate!) Bugs claims Daffy is a rabbit. Daffy has a good idea; he asks the creature what makes a rabbit look like a rabbit. Long ears naturally. (Although now, I want to see a rabbit with dog ears or something.) Bugs ties his ears down and does the ‘ole two fingers behind another’s head routine. Daffy is chosen as Bugs escapes.

Hugo is happy that he has a rabbit at last. Covered in lovely black feathers and a strong bill…wait…No mammals have feathers! Even a simple minded creature knows that! Daffy points out the retreating rabbit and Hugo chases after him. (Daffy following because he wants to see Bugs get hurt.) Later at Palm Springs, an overheated Hugo tells a stranger of his lost love. (Bugs in disguise) Seeing Daffy coming up, Bugs slips a rabbit hood (Not the short from 1949.) on his head. Hugo excitedly grabs his new pet. Alas, it’s not meant to last. For as abominable as he may be, he can’t hide the fact that he is a snowman, and he melts.

Personal Rating: 4

And a toast to an old friend of mine. I’ll never forget the animation she made of the two of us synced up to this short’s dialogue. The best Looney Tunes gift I ever received. I’m sorry I can’t show you the proof. It’s lost to time by this point.

Oily Hare

“No doggone, long-eared rabbits’ a’gonna stop me from dynamiting no oil drillin’ hole!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, and Herman Cohen; Layouts by Peter Alvarado; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952

This short takes place in Texas. In the future I’m guessing. (Dallas had been renamed to Dalla$) Bugs is residing in Deepinahola, Texas. (Just a little bit past Deepinaharta) He enjoys his life. Outside a very long car drives by. “How long is it?” It’s so long, that not only does the passenger need a phone to call the driver, but it’s a long distance call! This guy is pretty much McKimson’s Yosemite Sam. Since he’s not given a name, I’ll give him an extremely clever and original one. Nah, I’ll just call him Tex.

His driver does have a name, Maverick. And I may sound weird but Maverick is kinda adorable. With his hat that covers his face, a shirt that covers his entire body and the fact he doesn’t talk… I dunno. I just want a plush toy of him. Back to our story: Tex is angered to see that one of the holes on his property is not gushing oil. He and Maverick start setting up an oil derrick, when Bugs pops up to see what’s going on. Despite his claims that the hole is his home and lacks fossil fuels, Tex still continues his work. He sets some dynamite into the hole as well, to keep Bugs away.

Happy to find “party decorations”, Bugs makes a cake and decorates it with the “candles.” Sending it back up. Tex is surprised that someone remembered his birthday was today. Especially because it’s not. (Speaking of birthdays, I have one.) Bugs urges him to make a wish. My wish is that we got to hear what he was going to wish for. All we know is that it’s not money. (He’s got plenty of that.) After the explosion, he tries to just shoot Bugs. The rabbit puts up a funnel and some pipe that lead the bullets back to Tex’s rear. Time for some grunt work.

He orders Maverick to go get Bugs, but the silent cutie comes back empty handed. Tex goes in himself and asks for plenty of TNT. Guess what? Bugs stole Maverick’s clothes and hands him sticks upon sticks of explosives. (Tex doesn’t seem to realize that there is a Maverick in the hole and out of the hole) Soon, there’s so much dynamite that the earth is near bursting at the seams! Bugs is pretty cool with the destruction of his home and all worldly possessions, since he tells Tex where his lighter is.

After another explosion, we see that Bug’s hole was not on top of an oil gusher; but instead a carrot one. Catching our disbelieving looks, he reminds us that anything is possible in Texas. (There you go. Toontown and Texas. The only two places on the planet where anything can and will happen.)

Personal Rating: 3

Transylvania 6-5000

“Rest is good for the blood.”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Co-Director: Maurice Noble; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Bob Bransford, Tom Ray, Ken Harris, and Richard Thompson; Layouts by Bob Givens; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc, Ben Frommer, and Julie Bennet; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. Released in 1963.

A pretty late entry for Bugs, and the last time he’d be directed by Chuck Jones. (In the golden age at least.) Said bunny is burrowing through what he thinks is Pennsylvania. Obviously enough; by the title we can tell he’s on the other side of the world. (Tough luck on his part. Vampire pencils aren’t nearly as dangerous as humanoid ones.) He pops up and asks directions from someone who I think is the most unusual specimen (and that’s saying a lot) of all Looney Tunes. This is Agatha and Emily. (Voiced by Julie Bennet. Who was well known for voicing Cindy Bear.) They are a two-headed vulture. Okay.

They don’t really have much of a point in this short. They don’t even help Bugs, they just go on talking about eating him I think. (They talk like he’s not even in front of them.) Bugs opts to go ask for help at a building he mistakes for an motel. They don’t even follow him. But they’ll be back. (Seriously, why two headed?) It’s really a castle he’s found and the sole occupant is one by the name of Count Bloodcount. (Nice name, but a little redundant don’t you think, nice name?) I like how his pupils can travel in between his eyes. I bet that’s useful. He welcomes Bugs in. (He’s voiced by Ben Frommer, who you might remember as the Hitchcockian narrator in “The Last Hungry Cat.”) It’s a nice place. Complete with piano from “Super Mario 64”, pictures of his relatives, (bats) and even a photo of that time when he was a leader of some Ghoul Scouts. (I hear they sell great cookies.)

Despite Bug’s clearly stating that he just wants a telephone, the Count shepherds him into a room saying he can do that tomorrow. Bugs eventually agrees and tries to get some sleep. But it’s no use, he just can’t fall asleep in an unfamiliar bed. (I’ve been there.) He decides to try some reading; selecting a book that contains magic spells. He doesn’t notice the vampire just behind him. (Who doesn’t really have teeth, just teeth shaped lips. Just like Hassan. Mr. Jones, what is going on?) Apparently “Abracadabra” is indeed a magic phrase. (Even though Bugs says it as “Abacadabra” Close enough I suppose.)

The word changes the vampire into his bat form, which Bugs mistakes for a mosquito and swats. The dazed bat flies out of the window to escape, but Bugs tries another phrase: “Hocus Pocus.” This turns him back to normal and he plummets into the moat. Bugs goes for a walk and the Count reveals his true self. Using his new tricks, Bugs turns himself into an umpire. Not wanting to be one-upped (I think that’s the reason) Bloodcount turns into a bat. Bugs does too. A baseball bat. And he has no qualms about hitting a bat wearing glasses. The count slips under a stone and changes back to human shape. Now he has a weapon to crush Bugs with- Bugs turns him back into a bat and he is crushed. This goes on for a few more times. (At one point, the Count looks angry until he reverts to full height, at which point he just looks dizzy. Repeated crushings can’t be healthy for someone who can’t even be killed that way.)

Bugs then switches things up and trys out “Abakapocus.” This turns the count into a vampire with a bat’s head. Turning it around and saying “Hocuskadabra” makes him a head with Bat wings. And Newport News, (wait, that’s magical too?) Turns him into Witch Hazel. (Nice cameo. And that counts as an appearance. So she makes my five appearances rule.) And it turns out Walla walla is also magical. (That must be a fun place to live.) This turns the count into… a two headed vulture. (What is wrong with one head?) Remember the female one/s? Bugs calls them over and it’s love at first sight. For the girls. The count/s is terrified (and I guess speechless now) and takes off with the lovebird/s in tow. (Ugh. It’s confusing.)

Bugs meanwhile, has finally found a phone. He calls for his travel agent and hums the song “It’s magic” to himself. Only he puts one of those magic phrases into it. And since there’s no one there but him, the magic turns his ears into wings. Seeing as he’s a mammal, he gets mammal wings. And seeing as how the mammal that can fly is a bat, he gets that model. He’s not bothered though. He tells the operator to cancel his call and flies home instead. (He’s also deaf now.)

Personal Rating: 3

A Star is Bored

“If a long eared rabbit can be a sthar, stho can a duck!”

“I’ll give ’em a real feature!”

 Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Arthur Davis, Gerry Chiniquy, and Virgil Ross; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1956 .

It really is a shame. There are a good number of people in this world who are not talented and yet continue to get work in the movie biz. But I’ve complained about them before, it’s Daffy’s turn now. Specifically, his anger is once again aimed at the world’s favorite rabbit. Sick of Bugs getting big roles, Daffy heads to the bosses’ office and demands a part. He even performs at weddings. (I know what entertainment will be at mine. All I need is a fiance and several thousand dollars.)

It just so happens that the studio was looking for a stunt double to use in Bugs’ pictures, but they’re not telling Daffy that right away. Daffy gets the job and a rabbit suit and prepares to prove his worth. The first scene is with Sam and Daffy subs for Bugs to get shot. Next, Elmer is going to saw a limb off a tree that Bugs is sitting on, but Daffy knocks him out and takes his place. Sawing the limb topples the tree. (Hey, we learned how that gag works!) The next scene calls for Bugs to fish. Despite his protests, Daffy demands that he be the one to do this shot. He is eaten by a tuna. (I’m guessing that’s what it is. What do you want from me?)

Next, Elmer is hunting Bugs. Sticking his gun into a tree results in another coming out of a hole behind him. Daffy takes his place again, to prove its a trick. He ties a bow to his end and when he pokes it through, the other one has a different bow. He shoots himself and finds the different bow on his gun. (I love that gag.) And in a plane scene, Daffy gleefully watches Bugs about to smash into the earth. Stunt double time! (Loving Daffy’s reaction. That’s the look death row inmates have.) This stunt is enough to break the camel’s back and he heads back to the boss and demands his own movie.

He’s in luck! They just got a script in that calls for a duck. It’s aptly titled, “The Duck.” So what, is it going to be a nature documentary? Wishful thinking. It’s a twenty second flick about a duck getting shot to death by hunters. Directed by: A German Director. Written by Bugs Bunny.

Personal Rating: 3

Bugs Bonnets

“How come every other private in this mans army has a rifle, and you’ve got a gun?”

Hardy har harberdashery.

Directed by Chuck Jones; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ben Washam, Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson and Ken Harris. Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1956.

As this short begins, we are told that people’s behavior may be changed by their attire. (This is scientifically known as cosplaying.) But a full outfit is not exactly necessary. All one needs is a hat. Our example being Elmer. When he puts on a hunting cap, he goes psychotic. Seriously. He wants to see Bugs’ blood paint the scenery. He’s never been that crazy before. So, it’s no surprise that Bugs is pretty scared. As their chase begins, a truck full of hats’s doors open and spill the contents all over the woods.

An army hat falls on Bugs and he has Elmer march into a lake. Elmer sinks but his hat doesn’t and when he comes back up, he has a general’s hat. (Making him act like Douglas MacArthur.) Bugs runs from his now commanding officer, but Elmer gets his original hat back and fires. Bugs has dove into a hole and ends up burrowing up under a game warden’s hat. Finding Elmer shooting the army hat, he asks what he’s doing, as sergeants aren’t in season at the moment. A gust of wind blows Elmer’s hat off and replaces it with a pilgrim hat. He just trying to get Thanksgiving dinner.

The wind next gives Bugs a Native American wig and he takes Elmer’s gun and gives chase. They both lose the hats and the tables turn. But as Bugs crosses a busy street, a bonnet falls on Elmer and makes him as feeble and timid as a stereotypical old lady. Good thing a boy scout hat fell on Bugs and he wastes no time in helping Fudd cross. (Reciting the Scout law as well. I hated that. It’s too long and makes one sound like there perfect.) A car drives by and they lose the hats again. As Bugs flees once more, he ends up with a mobster’s hat and tells Elmer to get out of his territory. But a policeman cap falls on Elmer and he tries arresting Bugs. (Even thinking he’s Rocky. The mobster, not the boxer.) Bugs hands him some money as a bribe and even though Elmer doesn’t accept it, the wind replaces Bug’s hat with a Judges… hat? wig? The thing they always wear in cartoons.

He is angered to see Elmer holding bribe money, (where did Bugs get that in the first place?) and sentences him to only 45 years and hard labor in prison since he knows Fudd’s a family man. (They might still be alive when he’s free.) As Bug’s leaves Elmer asks him to marry him, as he now wears a bridal veil. A top hat landing on Bugs has him agreeing and he carries his “bride” home.

Personal Rating: 3

Buccaneer Bunny

“Have a nice dip, drip?”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese and Tedd Pierce; Animation by Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released on May 8, 1948.

He may be remembered as a cowboy, but Sam had many different occupations in the shorts he appeared in. This was his second appearance even! (Unless, you count “Along came Daffy” but there is no concrete evidence that either of the men in that short were Sam.)

As a pirate, Sam is burying his treasure so that no one will know where it is. (His eyebrows turn pink. It’s that tropic sun, I tell ya.) But as he tosses it in the hole, Bugs tosses it back up. Sam decides to shoot him to keep his secret safe. “Dead rabbits tell no tales.” Bugs corrects him that it’s dead men. Sam figures he has no choice and starts to aim at his head. (Hysterical!) He quickly catches on and gives chase. Bugs hops in Sam’s rowboat and rows so fast, he ends up paddling himself out of the boat and onto Sam’s ship. Seeing this, Sam swims out to the ship, grabs the oars and swims back to the boat to row. (A good gag to be sure, but it makes sense. He might needs that boat later and he’ll want the oars.)

Once aboard, he runs into Captain Bligh from “Mutiny on the Bounty.” (Bugs of course.) He gives Sam several orders and chuckles while Sam does so. He soon wises up and Bugs hides. It would work, but Sam’s parrot keeps obnoxiously pointing out the rabbit’s hiding places. Bugs shuts him up by giving it a (fire)cracker. Taking the birds place, he tells Sam the rabbit is in the cannon. BOOM! Bugs takes the crow’s nest like an elevator and is well out of Sam’s reach. Sam orders him down, and Bugs yells for him to catch him as he tosses an anvil which causes the whole ship to submerge, (save Bugs) until Sam lets go of it.

After some hilarious cannon gags and the brilliant many doors gag, (Bugs enters a door, Sam is about to follow when Bugs emerges from another door and enters a different one and Sam can’t catch up.) We get to undoubtedly the best part of this short. Sam comes over to Bugs who is standing by the stairs to the powder room. (By which I mean where the gunpowder is kept. It’s not a latrine. When you’re a pirate, the ocean is your latrine.) Smiling like a troll, Bugs lights a match and throws it down. Sam reacts how you’d think and runs after it. He manages to get it and berates Bugs for doing that. Bugs responds by doing it again. Sam grabs it once more, but tells Bugs that if he does it again, he’s not chasing after it.

Bugs does it again. This really is one of the best gags is all cartoon-dom. Sam is true to his word and tries to keep busy, but ultimately can’t take it and tries to retrieve the match. Too late. The ship is blown to pieces and Bugs and Sam are blown back to the Island. Sam chases Bugs back to his hole thinking he has him cornered. But Bug’s hole is really a buried cannon. Sam surrenders despite Bugs’s claim that he hasn’t even begun fighting. You don’t want to see him at full power. Our universe couldn’t handle it.

Personal Rating: 4

Ali Baba Bunny

“It’s mine, ya understhand? Mine! All mine!”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Richard Thompson, Ken Harris, Abe Levitow, and Ben Washam; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling and Milt Franklyn. Released in 1957.

This one is a classic. I think it’s Bugs and Daffy’s best known team up, outside of the hunting trilogy. Naturally, it’s one of the 100 greatest Looney Tunes and ranks number 35 on the 50 greatest cartoons.

In (somewhere in the Middle East, I’m sure) a midget seals a cave that is brimming with treasure. He tells the guard there, (Hassan) to guard it with his life, because the price is life. Poor Hassan. I bet he’s really a nice guy who wants no part in this. But seeing as he’s got no alternative, he dutifully stands watch. The midget rides away on his adorably ugly, midget camel. We then see a very familiar burrow coming along. It heads right into the cave. Having noticed this, Hassan tries to enter but can’t seem to remember the magic words. (“Open sarsaparilla? Open Saskatchewan?”)

Inside, Bugs announces that they have finally made it to Pismo Beach. Or have they? As he puzzles over things, his travel buddy, Daffy notices the treasure in a way I think we all would act. (Wide eyes, licking lips/beak, and plotting to get rid of the other guy.) He claims it as his own and shoves Bugs back into the hole, before unleashing his inner Scrooge. (I remember in middle school seminary class, I got to teach about the seven deadly sins. I used Looney Tunes as examples and this was greed.)

Hassan meanwhile has finally gotten the phrase correct. (“Open septuagenarian?” No. “Open saddle soap?” Wrong. “Open sesame?” DING!) On his way out, Daffy mistakes him for a red cap and asks for a cab. Hassan slices his cute diamond studded hat in half. (Shame. That was my favorite treasure.) Daffy flees back to Bugs asking for his help in exchange for a diamond. Bugs is too cool to care. Daffy then tells the angry guard, that Bugs is the one who brought them there and he should get all the blame. Bugs has disguised himself as a genie and offers Hassan a reward if he frees him. He does so, and Bugs grants him the treasure all to himself. (Doing an amusing chant as well)

With that taken care of, Bugs heads out and thinks that maybe they’re not at the beach. But his pondering must be put on hold as Daffy has gotten himself in trouble again. Seems he took one of the diamonds that now belong to Hassan. Bugs agrees to help and gets rid of Hassan by having him climb a rope into the clouds. (Here Daffy admits that he can’t help being greedy, it’s his hobby. At least he’s honest) With the guard gone, the treasure is all Daffy’s. He loads up a mine car with all the loot, (Good thing he always has that on him.) and takes one more quick look to make sure he’s got everything. He finds a lamp and rubbing it produces a real genie. Even though, it sounds like he’s going to grant Daffy a wish, the duck’s paranoia has him assuming the genie is after his treasure and tries to shove him back in the lamp.

The genie is furious, and Bugs (wisely) decides to leave. Daffy is unafraid of the genie’s wrath, and says one of the best lines in all of ever. (“Consequences, schmonsequences. As long as I’m rich.”) Brilliant. I have the feeling every celebrity ever has said that at least once. (And once Kanye is out of debt, he’ll say it again.) At the beach, Bugs muses about what happened to Daffy as he eats clams. (They must taste like carrots.) He finds a pearl in one. (Or they’re oysters.) Just then, an ant-sized Daffy runs out of the hole and claims the pearl as his own. Annoyed, Bugs shuts the bivalve on him. (It’s probably dead now, so at least he won’t be digested.) Daffy doesn’t seem to mind. And why should he? The oyster is his world!

Personal Rating: 5. If for no other reason than Daffy is probably at his best here.

14 Carrot Rabbit

“It’s gettin’ so a man can’t earn a dishonest livin’ no more.”

Directed by I. Freleng.  Released in 1952

Our story takes place in the Klondike during the gold rush. What little people can find is claimed by Chillicoot (Yosemite) Sam. While cashing in his ill gotten gains, he sees Bugs walking in with a boulder of a gold nugget. Which he exchanges for carrots. Which are edible. As opposed to money. Which does nothing. (There is my proof that Bugs Bunny is smarter than any man ever will be. Goodnight.) Apparently, a funny feeling comes over Bugs when he is near gold. Sam follows to see if it’s true. It must be, as Bugs finds a collar button by listening to his feelings.

Sam springs into action claiming that they should be partners, and split any gold they might find 50/50. (I love the way Bugs waves his eyebrows at us. He’s not buying that crap.) He agrees and leads Sam to a spot. Instead of making Bugs dig, like I’d expect him to,Sam rushes in and informs the rabbit their partnership is over. Bugs realizes they are on a cliff and feels he should warn the crook. Sam won’t listen to anything he has to say, and Bugs lets him fall. Knowing Sam is going to come back, Bugs starts digging elsewhere. Sam comes back and takes over, unaware that the pile of dirt he is digging through is in a dump truck that Bugs is driving. He dumps it off a cliff.

Angered, Sam vows to chase Bugs all over America if he has to. (I guess he meant North America? Alaska wasn’t part of U.S. yet. Or did he intend to chase him down to the states?) He even gets a shot at Bugs’ tail. That’s rare. They chase for quite awhile, when Bugs is alerted to gold again. Sam knows it must be a trick, but ultimately decides he can’t take that chance and digs. Eureka! He finds gold bar after gold bar. Where is this heavenly location? Fort Knox. (Whoops.) He’s taken away but as Bugs is still there, it looks bad for him too. He says he’s just waiting for a street car, but is all too happy to take the boat that appears instead. (Cartoons. They’re magical)

Personal Rating: 3

Next week is a milestone for me. It will be the fifth anniversary of my blog as a whole. Which means another change in posts (like I do every year) and maybe a special post? Who knows? I hope you’ll join me.