Category: Looney Tunes

Cartoons that were labeled as “Looney Tunes.”

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A Cartoonist’s Nightmare

♫The tables are turned, and now you’re in, our clutches!♫

Supervision by Jack King; Animation by Don Williams and Paul Smith; Musical Score by Bernard Brown. A Looney Tune released on September 21, 1935.

Before we move on to today’s short, it’s time for another rendition of “Something that actually happened to me, that I didn’t make up and is still related to our source material.” I was at work, and a little boy saw my Marvin the Martian shirt. Somehow, he knew that I was someone who actually watches the source material of what he wears, and not only complimented my attire, but asked what Looney Tunes DVDs I had. He had several of the same ones and I sent him away with some ideas about what others he should get. I’m just glad that SOME parents are making sure their kids watch true art. Wouldn’t be great to have a little pal to watch cartoons with?

Yᴇᴀʜ! Tʜᴇɴ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ!

Too bad that will never happen. Now leave! The adults are talking.

Today’s short is a creepy good time! Definitely one of the more underrated shorts. It begins at Animated Cartoon Studio. (A subsidiary of Generic Products United.) Another day of work is done, and everyone goes home. (Keep your eyes open, and you’ll find that Clampett works here.) The night watchman begins his rounds. This looks like a fun place to work. There’s a staircase that leads to a door too small for anyone to enter, and a sea star in a water cooler. Those rascally artists!

There seems to be a cartoonist still here. He’s working on the latest short for their newest star, Beans. (Making this the first “Looney Tune” to not feature Bosko or Buddy. Warner’s was just all about those B’s.) Yes, by this point Buddy had been abandoned, and I Haven’t got a Hat had come out, so it was time to see if this new character had what it took to be the star. (Porky won.) I will admit, it would have been cool if all this opeing stuff that happens in the short was in live action, but the technology wasn’t there yet, and even if it was, we don’t need another “Coolworld.”

I don’t know what part of the short the man (Name time! I’ll call him Bob McClampet.) is working on, but it is a part where Beans had just been threatened by a beast, but had bars put in front of him, keeping him safe. I guess the short is done, because even though he said he needed to finish, Bob decides to sleep. (Sleep is best often enjoyed at your work) Seeing his chance, the beast grabs Bob and yanks him into the world of cartoons. With Beans still safely locked away, no one can save Bob. Oops.

Bob is dragged down to a room where all the cartoon villains are kept. (Which is right next to where the cartoon heroes are kept. You know them, they are what they’re supposed to be. Illusions of your fantasy.) And in a brilliant move, some of these guys actually appeared in previous Warner shorts. The “Mad Doctor” was the “Mad Musician” from “Buddy the Detective,” “One-punch Otto” the octopus appeared in “Mr. and Mrs. is the name;” even the beast who pulled Bob in appeared once. (Naturally, in 1934’s “Beauty and the Beast.”) They’re are plenty of original faces there too. Including Battling Barney the gender confused kangaroo. (Males don’t have pouches. Females aren’t called “Barney”) And Spike the spider*. (Who doesn’t have the right number of legs. And has a beetle’s shell. And a nose. And… Oh wait! “Spike the spider” is probably just his wrestling name. Of course, that must be it.)

So why all the kidnapping? Seems they’re angry at Bob. In every picture he makes, they are the villains. Don’t get them wrong, they love doing what they do, but they don’t like how they are always the losers. So, they are going to make Bob kill himself. (Dang! A cartoonist’s nightmare indeed! Imagine being hated by your creations! Sure, this kind of situation would come back in “Fairly Odd Parents,” and the “Goosebumps” movie, but being forced to end your life? That’s harsh.) Seeing as how if he doesn’t comply, the rouges are probably just going to kill him themselves, Bob complies and begins drawing a pit.

Remember Beans? He is still in this short too. He’s just been given a loaf of bread by… somebody. Seriously, who is that? We never saw them! (I’m not using gender specific pronouns because I legit don’t know what gender they are.) They came from where Bob was taken. Are they one of the cartoon heroes? The ones who will last forever? I doubt it because we never see them again! Also, I guess Beans wasn’t too upset about his creator probably dying, as his face lights up at the thought of a snack. It’s a pretty comfy cell. As long as someone feeds him, he could stay there for years, no problem.

Okay, okay, back to the plot. Random character in a dress and bonnet hid a saw in the bread, and Beans begins to make his escape. Bob meanwhile, has drawn the pit, and is thrown in. And there is a crocodile in there, so he’s pretty much screwed. When Beans arrives, he finds the villains watching the action. They’re smart enough to make sure their plan works out. (Impressive!) Beans sends some boots to kick the beast, and the whole lot chases after the cat once he is spotted. (Well, at least they look evil. Brains don’t matter much.)

Beans sends the pencil down to Bob, who draws a ladder to get himself out. Then, with the use of a grease gun, Beans sends all four villains (no idea where all the rest went) sliding into their own trap. Bob then erases it. (Which is also pretty harsh. They’re trapped in a enclosed space with a dangerous reptile. Even if they manage to fight it off, they are going to starve. I hope the two heros are proud of themselves.)

Considering the smiles are their faces, I guess they are. They shake hands, which is really the night watchman shaking Bob awake. When the title said “nightmare” it meant it literally. Still, Bob is grateful for Beans’ help. To reward him, not only does he remove the beast and cell from the scene, but he draws him up a giant plate of dessert. (Ice Cream? Pudding? Custard? Maybe it’s all three.)

Personal Rating: 4

* Hi. It’s me from the future. I’ve since learned that Spike also came from an earlier short. But I’m leaving the post unedited, because I found that description I wrote about him hilarious.

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Buddy’s Circus

“Get your tickets for the big show!”

Supervision by Jack King; Animation by Bob McKimson and Ben Clopton; Music by Norman Spencer. A Looney Tune released on November 8, 1934.

Can Buddy buy your support with a circus? Would that make this the greatest short on Earth? He’s certainly going to try. I will give him points for arriving via balloon. But said balloon also becomes the tent. It has greatly increased in size! But no one seems interested in the magic cloth, as they only go inside to see what racially challenged “freaks” Buddy has to exploit. (After he has made music by pulling on elephant tails.)

Buddy tries to dodge any future controversy, by claiming these people are a race known as “Ubangis.” (They look a lot like what white people thought black people looked like at the time, to me) Naturally, having dark skin means your lips are gigantic. One poor fellow is forced to sacrifice his dignity, and perform as a human phonograph. Other “interests” include a rubber man, (who is kind of disappointing. He barely stretches! And in the field of animation, you really have no excuse for following science’s rigid rules of how much a human body can stretch.) There is also a fire swallower. He actually bothers to make more of an impression, and swallows a pan and raw egg, and cooks breakfast for himself, in himself.

But that’s just the sideshow! The REAL entertainment is inside the tent. Buddy leads a parade of animals, and some guy hangs by a rope by his teeth. He doesn’t last long. (I hope those really were dentures, or that looks much more painful than King had intended.) One baby in the audience is munching on some popcorn. When he drops it beneath the stands, he naturally goes after it. An elephant beats him to the punch, but happy for the snack, she makes a friend out of the infant. (Do you see any tusks on that full grown elephant? No? Then she is a she.)

Friends go places together, and the baby joins his pachyderm pals in the ring. It takes a while, but the baby’s mother does finally notice the kid has become part of the show. If he keeps the kid around, child-labor laws are going to be on his @$$ for quite awhile yet. So, Buddy joins the mom in chasing the kid down. A circus tent is not the safest place to run around unorganized, so it is isn’t weird to see the three get tossed around by the various performers. The three are flung out of the tent. The two adults, (actually, I’m still not entirely sure of Buddy’s age) land on a giraffe. But the kid lands in the hippo’s cage. If this was reality, he’d be dead about 8 times by now. (Hippos anger easily. They’re like 900 pound wasps.) Since this is a cartoon though, the kids is safe and sound and in one piece inside the animal’s mouth.

Personal Rating: 1

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Buddy’s Beer Garden

“Give the girl a great big hand!”

Supervision by Earl Duvall; Animation by Jack King and Tish Tash; Music by Norman Spencer. A Looney Tune released on November 11, 1933.

The idea of prohibition really amuses me. To think we actually had the 18th  amendment of our constitution forbidding alcohol consumption. (Even funnier is the later Amendment 21, stating to ignore number 18.) To celebrate the end of such an era, Buddy has opened a place for people to happily get drunk.

It seems to be pretty popular. (Although identical twins must sit on opposite sides) Buddy uses devious means to make his beer more appealing. He adds shaving cream to the tops to make it look extra foamy. He even has employed his girlfriend. Cookie takes more pride in her work. She hand knits every pretzel. There’s more meaty dishes too. Tongue sandwiches specifically. (They happily lap up mustard)

Another one of Cookie’s jobs is being the smokes person. Cigars and cigarettes. (That’s all they’ve got. Hookahs are for caterpillars.) One patron buys from her and makes a remark about her looks. (He looks like King Hippo with more clothes and a terrible shaving job) Also, Cookie has a third gig at her boyfriend’s eatery. She dances to Latin music wearing a see through dress. (Though, all we can see is her legs. They’re not bad. But Turkey legs? OHHHHHHH! That’s the creme da la creme of legs.)

I’d like to say that everyone is enjoying the show, but what is with the guy on the far right? Not only does he keep looking at the table, but he keeps rubbing his head against it. Does that turn him on? Also, Buddy is a liar. I quite clearly saw a sign advertising free food, but he still charges a patron for his sandwiches. (I guess the cheese is too expensive. You may not know this, but during the depression, cheese was valued over platinum.)

Buddy announces a surprise guest to perform next: Mae West! King Hippo is still around, and loves what he is seeing. He just has to get a little closer. But because of the alcohol and maybe a little shyness, he can’t do much better than greeting her from under a table. He is spotted by a poster for beer with a goat on it. (Both the goat’s horns and Hippo’s hat change color briefly in this short.) As you’d expect from a goat, it butts the butt in front of it, and Hippo is thrown forwards, knocking Mae into the air and crashing himself into a mirror. We then see Mae was really Buddy in drag the whole time. (Which might be the first cross-dressing in a Warner Bros. cartoon. I’ll have to double check.)

Personal Rating: 2

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Buddy’s Day Out

“Buddy spank.”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x76onbv

Supervision by Tom Palmer; Animation by Bill Mason; Musical Supervision by Norman Spencer and Bernard Brown. A Looney Tune released on September 9, 1933.

Buddy’s first short! And because of that, we get a cast of characters. (Half of which never showed up again) Starring: Buddy, the hero. (Who can’t even be bothered to look right at us.) His girlfriend, Cookie. (Who can’t even be bothered to look right at us. At least she has the excuse of putting on makeup.) Her baby brother, Elmer. (Which leads me to believe that their last name is Phudd. Also, Elmer is quite the sloppy eater.) And Buddy’s dog, Happy. (He’s a dog. That’s the extent of his character.)

Cookie is giving Elmer a bath. So, if you like looking at bare baby butts, this opening is the greatest thing since the birth of your first child. Buddy’s car is also getting bathed. Its got to look its best, because the whole cast is going on a picnic. Buddy accidentally has the car in reverse, and it crashes through many yards on the way to Cookie’s. Luckily, she is rather fond of the flowers that now decorate the vehicle, and everyone heads off.

Upon arriving, Cookie starts playing a stringed instrument, (heck if I know what it is) but I think she’s dead. Look at those blank eyes! (Oh wait, Buddy has them too. My mistake) I suppose everything in nature is horny, because Buddy, insects and frogs all ask their mates for “Wugee” Is that even a real word? (looking it up) No, it isn’t. Maybe they just couldn’t get away with saying “hickey.”

While those two “play”, Elmer heads for the food. Still hasn’t learned any table manners. He throws a cake at a hungry Happy, but it still ends up all over the baby. Cookie scolds him, and the sad lad heads back to the car. (Which has “Asthma” written on the side. Such a sad name.) This car is one of those kind that can be started just by pressing a pedal. Elmer’s sadness is instantly forgotten, as he and Happy go for a merry joyride.

The two… I guess adults, (but for all I know they are only 16) chase after them in a pram. (Which up until this point, I couldn’t tell what it was as it was folded up) The debris that Elmer crashes into lands on Buddy and Cookie, and slowly turns the carriage into a helicopter. And it’s a good thing they have a higher vantage point, as Elmer has made his way onto some train tracks. Naturally, a train is headed his way.

Landing, Buddy redirects the train with a ladder. (Isn’t he the best hero? In doing that, he killed whoever was living in the house behind him.  I don’t think Elmer’s life was worth that. Also, it looks Elmer shrunk a bit. But he instantly goes back to full size) And does Elmer thank Buddy for being a hero? If by thank, you mean “squirt milk in his face.” (Clearly, Elmer was suicidal.)

Personal Rating: 2

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Bosko in Person

“Gee Bosko, you’re swell!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Bob McKimson. A Looney Tune released on April 10, 1933.

I wasn’t kidding last week when I said I wanted a child. So, I just up and got one. But knowing that he was going to hang around here and occasionally join in the posts, I decided to stick part of my mind in him so he could talk on the same intellectual level as us grownups. Here he is! Introduce yourself. (And use a different font so it is less confusing)

Hᴇʟʟᴏ. Mʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ɪs ʙᴏʏ. ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ sᴇᴇs ᴍᴇ ᴀs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀ ᴘᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ᴏᴄᴄᴀsɪᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴀssɪsᴛ ɪɴ ʜɪs ᴡᴏʀᴋ.

Children spread the worst lies! Heh heh. (Keep it up and you’ll not be eating tonight.)

Yᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴀʙᴜsᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ʜɪɢʜ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅʏ.

Okay, if you’re such a know-it-all on the art of humor, why don’t you write today’s post? In the meantime, I’ll keep making up names for toons that have done.

Wᴇʟʟ, ɪ ɢᴜᴇss ɪ’ᴍ ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀʀɢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ. Mɪɢʜᴛ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ. Iꜰ ɪ ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ, ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ sʜᴀʀᴇ ʜɪs ᴄᴀᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ.

Tʜɪs ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄᴜʟᴀʀ sʜᴏʀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪᴛsᴇʟꜰ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴘʟᴏᴛ. Iᴛ’s ᴊᴜsᴛ Bᴏsᴋᴏ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ʜɪs ᴍᴜsɪᴄᴀʟ sʜᴛɪᴄᴋ.

(Don’t forget to mention that his nose seems to shrink while he is playing the piano.)

Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ? I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ.

I just need to be sure that you follow the major rules. #1. Point out inconsistencies. #2. Name characters. and most importantly #3. Give facts about animals whenever you can.

Iɴ ᴄᴀsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴜs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴏɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ “ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡs” ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ.

Speaking of character, stop breaking it!

Tʜᴇɴ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴊᴏʙ.

Fine. But if you get more popular than me, I’m going to bury you in a fire ant hill while you’re coated in honey.

Uɢʜ. I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ. Nᴏᴡ, ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇ.

Bᴇsɪᴅᴇs ʜɪs ᴘɪᴀɴᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴡᴇss, Bᴏsᴋᴏ ᴀʟsᴏ sʜᴏᴡs ᴏꜰꜰ ʜɪs ᴅᴀɴᴄɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟs. Hᴏɴᴇʏ ᴀʟsᴏ ᴊᴏɪɴs ʜɪᴍ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴅᴜᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ. Sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ.

And if you keep acting like this, you never will know.

I GET IT!

Hᴇʀᴇ’s sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ Bᴏsᴋᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. Aᴘᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ, ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ʜɪs ɢʟᴏᴠᴇs ɪs ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ. Hᴇ sᴇɴᴅs ɪᴛ ʀᴏʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀᴄʀᴏss ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴀɴᴏ ᴋᴇʏs ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ sᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇʀꜰʀᴏᴍ.

Wᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢᴍᴇɴᴛ?

? I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ sᴜʀᴇ ʜᴇ’ᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴍᴀᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴀʀᴋ. Cʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ, ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴍʏ ᴇᴅɢᴇ.

Hɪs ɢʟᴏᴠᴇ, (Oʜ ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ɪ’ᴍ sᴜᴘᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀʜʜʜʜʜʜʜ, ᴡᴏᴡ. Tʜɪs ɪs ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀs ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴀs I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ.)

Hᴇʏ, ᴅᴀᴅ? Wʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴀ ɢʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛᴏ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴄɪᴛᴇs “Mᴀʀʏ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʟᴀᴍʙ”?

Edison.

Wᴏᴡ. ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ? ɪᴍ ʜᴜᴍʙʟᴇᴅ.

Eᴅɪsᴏɴ ɪs ʜᴇsɪᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴏʀᴍ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ. Hɪs ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴠɪᴏʟɪɴ. Iꜰ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴛ, I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ.

Hᴇ ʜᴏᴘs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴᴛᴏ Bᴏsᴋᴏ’s (ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ʙʀɪᴇꜰ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ) ʜᴀɴᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ Bᴏsᴋᴏ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛʀɪᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜʟʟ ᴏꜰꜰ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇs. Iᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀʀᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʜɪs ʀᴇᴀʀ ᴇɴᴅ. Hᴏɴᴇʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ʜᴇʀ sʜᴀʀᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡs ᴏꜰꜰ ʜᴇʀ Tᴇss Gᴀʀᴅᴇʟʟᴀ ᴀɴᴅ Gʀᴇᴛᴀ Gᴀʀʙᴏ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴs. Bᴏsᴋᴏ sʜᴏᴡs ᴏꜰꜰ ʜɪs ᴛᴏᴏ. Dᴏɪɴɢ ʜɪs Cʜᴇᴠᴀʟɪᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ Dᴜʀᴀɴᴛᴇ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴs. Tᴏ ᴇɴᴅ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴏꜰꜰ, Bᴏsᴋᴏ ɢᴏᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ. Pʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴍᴀɴʏ ɪɴsᴛʀᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs ᴀs ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ, ᴡʜɪʟᴇ Hᴏɴᴇʏ ᴅᴏᴇs sᴏᴍᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ sᴛʀᴏʙᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ. Bᴏsᴋᴏ ᴛʀɪᴇs ʜɪs ɪᴍᴘᴏssɪʙʟᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʜᴇ ꜰᴀʟʟs ᴏꜰꜰ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀɢᴇ.

Tʜᴇʀᴇ. Nᴏᴡ, ʟᴇᴛ’s sᴇᴇ ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ɪs sᴀᴛɪsꜰɪᴇᴅ.

I must admit, you’ve done a great job.

Dᴀᴅ? Yᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ?

Nope, but seeing as how we share a mind, I knew that if you were really my son, you’d type what I wanted to see. I’m proud of you.

Dᴏᴇs ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇᴀɴ I ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Nope. Have some cat bacon. It’s much tastier than the pork kind.

Wᴇʟʟ, I ɢᴜᴇss ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʟᴇᴀʀɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ʙʟᴏɢ ɪsɴ’ᴛ ᴀs ᴇᴀsʏ ᴀs ɪᴛ ᴍᴀʏ sᴇᴇᴍ. Aᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ I ɢᴏᴛ ꜰᴇᴅ.

Hope you enjoyed hearing from him. I’ll be doing the rest of the posts, but you’ll definitely see him again sometimes.

Personal Rating: 2

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Ride Him, Bosko!

“Howdy Bosko!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Norm Blackburn. Musical Score by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released on January 16, 1933.

At night in a desert, Bosko rides a horse and does what he does best: sing. His ultimate destination is Red Gulch. (“Where men are men, nine times out of ten.”) It really is a place for only the most hardened of man types. A pig walks by a saloon without coming in to buy anything. He is smashed over the head with a liquor bottle. A dachshund does the same thing out of the arms range. The majority of his body is shot off. Real tough place. So, naturally, Bosko will fit right in.

I joke, but it seems that Bosko really is one of the gang. (Even if they greet him with several bullets through his hat) With the regular piano guy out for the time being, Bosko fills in and plays “She’ll be comin’ round the mountain.” and everyone has a great time. But Bosko doesn’t have a partner. Where could she be? She’s comin.’ (Not round the mountain, but comin’ nonetheless) Honey (who else would it have been? Roxy? Fluffy? ?oppih gnikalt sdrawckab ehT) rides along in a stagecoach that doesn’t appear to have any axles attached to its wheels. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but I found it amusing. (If this is the first post you read, you’ll grow accustomed to me going off on many tangents.)

As it makes its way to town, it is being watched by bandits. (Who ride rabid horses, if the foaming mouths are anything to go by.) Since the driver of the coach isn’t going to pull over to be robbed, they give chase. In the process, the driver is thrown off, leaving Honey trapped in a runaway vehicle with gun toting characters and horses that can transmit deadly incurable diseases with their teeth. Also the mortgage is due, and she is about to miscarriage Bosko’s child. (Well, not those last two)

The driver makes it back to town and alerts our hero of whats going on. Wait! I’ve got this! Let me say it! “Ride Her, Bosko!” (D*mn) He gets going and heads to her rescue. And then, probably the most meta of jokes happens in the history of Looney Tunes: the screen pulls back to show Harman, Ising and Freleng looking over their work. Unfortunately, they don’t have any ideas on how to end the picture, so they just head home, leaving a confused Bosko behind.

Personal Rating: 3, but that brilliant ending does tempt me to give it a 4

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Bosko’s Picture Show

“Howdy, howdy, howdy folks!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Max Maxwell. A Looney Tune released on September 18, 1933.

Bosko is such a musical fellow, it only makes sense that he’d have a job supplying music for entire audiences. And in the era where silent movies were still in the public’s memory, (and a few were still around) we find him playing the organ for such a venue. And he invites us to sing along! So join in the fun! “We’re in the money!” is what we’ll sing.

Please tell me you sang. We love music around here. After such a fun opening number, we sadly have to tone it down a bit and see a news reel. A peace conference is in effect. Look at the pummeling! (Things must be getting better.) People still flock to California’s beaches despite the snow, and a boxer plans a comeback, even though he needs at least one arm to hold his walking stick.

We see footage from a dog race. (Which in itself is taken from “Bosko’s Dog Race”) with the Marx brothers playing a role as dogcatchers. (Odd. But at least they allowed Zeppo to join in the fun this time) And after being told that a famous screen lover is on a European vacation, we get a really weird joke about Hitler chasing Durante with an ax. (…wha?…) Back to the fun things! How about a Haurel and Lardy short? I think Haurel is the fat one, because it would be too obvious if he was Lardy. Today, they are going to steal a pie off a windowsill. But they get to arguing who will eat it, and Lardy smashes it in his friends face. In turn, he is smacked on the head. (And I don’t think his collar has a shirt attached to it, but that’s just me.)

Time for the feature film. A TNT picture called “He Done Her Dirt. (And How!)” Starring Bosko’s girl, Honey! And I just realized that I never gave her a proper post, so let’s do that now.

Honey was Bosko’s girlfriend. She was born to be a love interest and that is all she ever was.

What? What do you mean that doesn’t count? It’s my website! She fits my “five appearances rule” but she doesn’t have enough character to warrant description. She was made to be a love interest and that’s all she ever was. (part 2) She was just Bosko with a dress, high heels, eyelashes, and a bow. (Neither of them was known for wearing shirts.) But if you really need more Honey in your life, here’s a shot of her when she appeared on “Tiny Toons”

As you might have guessed, the “black person” angle wasn’t going to go over so well in the nineties, so he and Bosko were redesigned as generic dog creatures. (And they had the audacity to claim she was Warner Bros. “first female star.” There was no such thing. Sexist it may be, but people tend to freak out if a female receives slapstick.) Let’s return to our regular post, shall we?

Honey is riding a bike. (And the Marx’s are there again. They heard me say “generic dog creature” and needed to check it out for themselves.) The villain of the piece is called Dirty Dalton. Hey, wansn’t that also the name of a Hanna-Barberra character?

I already knew it was. You didn’t need to add that, me.

As I was saying, Bosko is not too keen to see the villain. I know what it sounds like, but I swear he says “The dirty fox.” (Whats this in the gutter? Why, it’s your mind! You should really keep it out of there) Bosko is loyal to his soulmate and is going to save her, whether it’s reality or not. He jumps through the screen to rescue her. Normally, that would result in him entering the movie, but real world rules are applied this time, and he just tears a hole in it. At least, that seemed to work.

Personal Rating: 2

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The Booze Hangs High

“Get back!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Paul Smith. A Looney Tune released in December, 1930.

Like all the best cartoons of the time, this one opens with a close up of a cow’s behind. (And you think I joke about that happening more than once. It’s how the Mickey’s first short “Plane Crazy” was introduced. Fitting, considering Harman and Ising came from Disney)

Bosko dances with the cow, and it seems like they might be best of friends. But when the cow’s pants fall… hide falls… when its underwear is shown, Bosko can’t help but laugh. The cow leaves in a huff. (Believe me, I’m tempted to write “hoof.”) A nearby horse found the scene funny and it seems as if Bosko will have a friend to play with after all. And I do mean “play with.” Bosko pulls the horse’s tail taught and uses it as a stringed instrument. (And despite the fact that the horse is pulling a wagon that Bosko is sitting on, the harness disappears. (Don’t worry. It comes back)

While Bosko continues to entertain himself and us, (playing air banjo with a pitchfork) a family of ducks are out for a merry stroll. I only bring this up because its another example of toilet humor being subtle in Looney Tunes. A duckling crosses its legs, so we can tell it’s uncomfortable. Its mother pulls a flap of its down down, like a pair of pants, so we can tell the problem is related to its hind quarters. And it walks off screen, so we can guess that whatever the problem is, it’s personal and we don’t need any direct mention of it. A million and more times better than how the feature length films did it. (No, I’m not ever letting that go.)

Back on topic, three pigs are hungry. Judging by their relative sizes, and the fact the biggest one has a deep voice, I’ll guess they’re father and sons. Bosko empties a trash can for them to eat. The piglets find a bottle of booze in the stuff. (Look at that! The title character finally showed up!) Are the piglets just curious about their find? Or are they excited? Considering prohibition was still in effect at the time, I choose the latter.

All three of the swine take a swig and the drink works its magic. They fling the bottle away, and it hits Bosko and he gets affected too. He goes to join the swine song. As they croon, the biggest pig accidentally coughs up  a corn cob. He puts it back where it belongs though. (That’s not a belly button. It’s a door knob.) Apparently regurgitating food is censor worthy as that scene was cut from TV airings. Quite stupid as the short ends after that. (And Bosko’s nose turns white)

Not the best of Bosko’s shorts, but still enjoyable. You can’t go wrong with drunk animals.

Personal Rating: 2

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Congo Jazz

“Hello.”

Animation by Max Maxwell and Paul Smith; Music by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released in October, 1930.

Only his second short and Bosko decides that he is capable of hunting. (Because he is just a bos like that) Killing is a lot more difficult than one may think, though. And Bosko certainly doesn’t look like he has the nerve. He can’t take more than two and a half steps without screaming. But he has good reason to be scared. Despite the title suggesting he is in Africa, there is a tiger behind him. And Bosko does look quite delicious. When Bosko does notice the cat (and his color changing claws) he tries to run. Tigers apparently run faster on two legs, as it chases him down.

Like most early cartoon characters, Bosko’s main ability is being able to generate music from whatever he may have on hand. In this case, it is an actual musical instrument. (Heck if I know what it is. It’s no animal.) As is well known, music soothes the savage beast, and Bosko is able to save himself. Even playing a quick round of patty-cake with the feline. But, it is still a wild and potentially dangerous animal, so he has no other choice but to kick it off a cliff. Hunting clearly is not his strong point. So he seems to settle for just admiring the wonders of nature. And there are a pair of adorable monkeys that warm his heart playing leapfrog nearby. (They look like new-world monkeys. I thought he was in the part of India called the Congo for some reason.)

Bosko gets closer. One of the simians sees him and bolts, but the other one ends up in Bosko’s hands. In reality, Bosko would probably suffer many nasty bites, but this monkey is a bit more tame. But he still doesn’t like Bosko petting him, so he spits in his eye. Angered, Bosko spanks the monkey. (Literally. I hope nobody thought that I was being figurative.) That wasn’t the smartest choice though, there is an angry gorilla behind him. (So, he IS in Africa?) He doesn’t appreciate Bosko disciplining his… well, not kids. But I guess they are still closely related. Or it could be that Bosko is catching wild animals. Regardless of the reason, he looks pissed. Bosko offers him some chewing gum. Despite being one of the most disgusting things one can play with, Bosko and the ape do just that. Making music again. (It really helps soothe angry animals)

Heck, the music is so good, that lots of animals come to listen and join in. (One of which is a kangaroo. In Afrindiamerica. Is Bosko just in a zoo? Did he just release all the animals to play with them?) Even the plants can’t help but join in. One tree in particular does a sexy dance. (You can tell its female, because male trees don’t have breasts. Plants have the same rules as animals, right?) “Her” dance is a bit too wild though, and one of her fruits snaps free. (Even if fruit are meant to do that, it still looked painful) The coconut hits Bosko on the head, to the amusement of some hyenas. Luckily, Bosko is a good sport, and he laughs along with them.

Personal Rating: 3

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Confusions of a Nutzy Spy

“That guy sure d-d-does act suspicious.”

Supervision by Norman McCabe; Story by Don Christensen; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on January 23, 1943.

You may have noticed that lately, I’ve been talking about many wartime shorts. Well, in honor of mothers everywhere, (including my own; who I don’t think has ever visited this place) this will be the last one for awhile. And there’s no better way to end things off, than with my brother from another porcine mother: Porky!

Said b.f.a.p.m. is working as a constable. And he has decorated his place quite nicely. He has a bunch of hand prints on the wall labeled as a “Fingerprint Dept.” (Fittingly enough, all the prints have three fingers and a thumb), a letter A labeled as “Exhibit A”, a rather sizable limb that is “The Long Arm of the Law”, and several wanted posters. (In the case of the woman, she’s just simply wanted.)

And where would a constable be without a trusty bloodhound by his side? Old Eggbert might be a bit lazy, but his sense of smell is second to none. Good thing too, as there’s a German spy on the loose! A feline fellow by the alias of: The Missing Lynx! (Or maybe that is his real name. Poor guy probably had no choice but to be a spy) Befitting his title, this spy is a master of disguise. I mean, you’d have to be to fool Porky. But it only lasts so long before the pig realizes that the strange person who can make himself look exactly like someone he’s never seen and is wanted by the law, might, just might, be the spy of which he seeks.

And what is this guy even doing here in the states? He’s going to blow up a bridge! Well, that’s what he intends to do. Despite the fact he is capable of keeping Porky away by donning a Porky mask and ordering him away, (Said mask is now in my hands. No shame) Eggbert was able to grab the bomb bag and return it to the Nazi. He hands the explosive to Porky and ducks into a nearby cave. Once he realizes why the bag is ticking, Porky joins him. Eggbert comes too. (Dogs are pack animals.) Eggbert has been sneezing throughout the whole short, and he lets one loose here as well. Porky and the lynx are flung through the air. Porky is saved by grabbing onto a pole, but the lynx ends up embedded in a cliff wall with the bomb at his feet. But wouldn’t you know it? The bomb was a dud. Angered, he bangs it on the ground in frustration. That was all that was needed, and they spy is no more. He may be dead, but he’s just happy his bomb worked after all.

Personal Rating: 3