Category: Merrie Melodies

Cartoons that were labeled as such.

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Dog Gone South

“I’ll take care of ya.”

It’s sister smokes corn silk.

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ben Washam, Lloyd Vaughn, Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, and Emery Hawkins; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Phil DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1950.

Another of the “100 greatest! (I’m talking about these a lot this year, huh? And I’m planning on doing it again next week.) This is Charlie Dog’s sole inclusion on this list, and I’m glad. I love this guy. And of his five appearances, this is probably his best. You probably thought I’d choose one of the his times with Porky huh? Speaking of Porky, this is the first time Charlie appeared without him.

We see the hound being kicked off of a train. He is in the south as the title suggests. Acting like most dogs would, he sets about to finding himself an owner. Colonel Shuffle is a nice pick. Really, Colonel Shuffle from “Mississippi Hare” is also in this short. (Though never mentioned by name.) He’s not interested in Charlie; not because Charlie is kind of annoying, (And I mean that in the best possible way) but because he already has a dog. Belvedere, a Marc Antony styled bulldog who is so top heavy, his hind legs raise in the air when he runs.

That, and Shuffle is full of Southern pride. He is not too happy to hear Charlie sing “Yankee Doodle” on his property. Keeping quiet of the Northern front? That’s simple. Getting rid of Belvedere is the hard part. Charlie starts by dressing him up in a Yankee style hat, and giving him a “North Forever” banner. Shuffle chases after him in a Confederate outfit. Seeing his chance, Charlie does the same and acts wounded. Shuffle agrees to take him in, but Charlie ruins things by suggesting a meal of Yankee Pot Roast.

I guess Belvedere is forgiven then. Seeing as the Colonel hasn’t beaten him to death yet. Charlie then dresses him up in a New York Yankee’s uniform. (Which looks cute on him.) Belvedere notices this and grabs a club to hit Charlie with. He hits Shuffle. Seeing Belvedere coming for him still, Charlie gets Shuffle again, who is once more beaten. That does it, and Belvedere is kicked off the plantation. Seeing as he now has no dog, Shuffle agrees to take Charlie in.

Just then, another man walks by. He would like a dog, and would treat him like a king. Charlie, (proving all he really wants is a home, and could care less about who owns it) takes him up on that offer and leaps into his arms. The man in turn throws him onto a leaving train. Turns out it was Belvedere. He happily goes back to Shuffle. Poor Charlie. Guys named Charlie are always being rejected despite being really great guys. Charlie Brown just wants love. Charlie Tuna just wants people to eat his delicious flesh. Charlie Horse just wants plastic surgery so his face will stop giving me nightmares.

(Okay, maybe not that middle one.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Jumpin’ Jupiter

“The stars are so bright tonight, you can almost touch em.”

M-m-m-m-men from Mars’s next door neighbor!

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Keith Darling, Abe Levitow and Richard Thompson; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1955.

You are traveling through an animated area. An area of wisecracking rabbits, egotistical ducks, fanatic coyotes and homicidal canaries. Behind any door could be a train speeding towards you, and when you walk outside you must beware of falling anvils. It’s as clear as the pie on your face. You have just entered: The Wacky Zone.

Submitted for your approval, is the tale of one Porky T. Pig. He is out camping in a desert with his cat, Sylvester. Said cat is terrified. There are coyotes around, and coyotes will eat cats. But little does he know that soon he will have much more extreme fears.

Porky, does not worry about his cat possibly dying and leaves him outside the tent while he sleeps. Despite his worry, Sylvester does manage to get some shuteye. As they slumber, a flying saucer spots the campsite. Landing, we learn it is from Jupiter and on a mission to collect samples of Earth life. The pilot of said craft comes out, and doesn’t he look familiar? It’s one of the instant Martians that Marvin is so fond of using! (Never buy Instant Martians from Craigslist.) Liking what he sees, (I’m guessing. He doesn’t emote much.) He gets back in his ship and burrows under the campsite. With the plot of land safely on top, he flies back into space. (Which seems to be full of bubbles.) The lack of oxygen doesn’t bother Porky, but the lack of heat does and he grabs another blanket.

The Instant Jupiterian comes out to check on his specimens and Sylvester panics. Unlike in other encounters they have together, he actually gets Porky to see the object of his fear. Porky is so cool, he doesn’t even bat an eye. He tells the (man?) that he’ll look at his wares in the morning, pointing out to us that the stranger was a Navajo. I don’t think that was racist. Porky isn’t one to be…

Hey! I already excused this!

As I was saying: Porky goes back to sleep, while Sylvester continues to hide under the bed. The Jupiter (man created by) Jones goes back to his ship to read up on Earth life. Only now do they seem to be free from Earth’s gravitational pull, as everything on the ship begins to drift away. (Except the dirt. I guess there’s magnets in it.) Porky and his belongings float down to ground just as he wakes up. Nothing like a good nights sleep to make the world look new. He even sees a planet he’s never seen before in the sky. (I’ve played Kirby 64. I think it’s called Shiver Star.) He packs up camp and drives off with his pal Sylvester. Unaware they are being watched by the natives of the planet. Unaware that he is no longer on Earth.

Porky Pig. A mild mannered Earthling. He survived his close encounter of the second kind, and lived to tell about it. However, he just might soon find that things will never be the same. They never are, here in: The Wacky Zone.

Personal Rating: 4

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Heaven Scent

“♪A smile was all you gave to me…♪”

Oh, to be a skunk. Nobody bothers those guys.

Directed by Chuck Jones; Story by Chuck Jones; Animation by Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson, Ken Harris, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Erni Nordli; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released in 1956.

A fisherman comes back from the water one day with a decent sized batch of fish. The scent of the dead animals attracts the nose of one Penelope Pussycat. She tries to help herself to one of the morsels, but finds dogs every way she looks. The constant barking eventually has her hopping onto a flap pole that has been recently painted. Unlike most of her appearances, this time the stripe is no accident. She coats her back in the paint and her skunk disguise is complete. (Isn’t it interesting? If you had no idea what a skunk was, you’d never guess it was the most feared animal on the planet.)

The trick works, and the dogs are sent running. The fisherman too. So there is nothing stopping Penelope from helping herself to a nice fat fish and heading off to the park for a picnic of one. But you know, picnics by yourself kinda scream “I’m lonely.” If only she had a special someone to share her life with. Enter Pepe. And he is smitten. And since the only thing required to make a relationship work is the male wanting the female, why does she run from him? He won’t let that stop him though. He finds her in grapes, and a tree. (Pepe: “Marry me.” *she runs* Pepe: “Too subtle?”)

So, he decides to try the “playing hard to get card,” himself. Running in front of her and saying that he loves her but isn’t sure about marriage yet. She runs in a different direction. (The wood in the fences and trees in the background is interesting in this short. They aren’t colored in. An artistic choice? Or was Mr. DeGuard feeling lazy on this one?) Pepe knows a shortcut and manages to catch her in his arms. Running out of directions, Penelope begins running up a mountain. Pepe is still right behind her and has a little fun making her an echo love note. But she runs again. Pepe continues following her, as she runs into a tunnel that is blocked. Pepe stops to note that while there is not much difference between the sexes, “Viva La Difference!” and follows after her.

And it just ends. Weird. It was pretty entertaining, but I guess they didn’t really have a clue about how to end it. That poor ending probably makes this my least favorite Pepe short. But I’ll have to watch them all again to be sure. (And yes, I’ve seen every Pepe Le Pew cartoon. Hasn’t everybody?)

Personal Rating: 3

(Nah, It was probably an artistic choice by Philip. I never knew the guy, but I don’t think he’d be one to accidentally leave wood uncolored.)

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My Little Duckaroo

“I’ve got you now, Canasta.”

He’s gonna tear him limb from tree!

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Ben Washam, Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson and Lloyd Vaughn; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Phillip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Directon by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released in 1954.

It’s a followup to “Dripalong Daffy.” And sadly, it’s not as good as its predecessor. Daffy is once again cast as the hero, known this time as the Masked Avenger. Porky is there too, and still relegated to the role of comic relief. Daffy spots a wanted poster for Nasty Canasta. (Looking different than he did in his first appearance and how he would look in “Barbary Coast Bunny.” Guy just can’t find a style he likes.) Daffy decides to fix his little red wagon, but not because it is the right thing to do. It’s all about the money.

Luckily, Canasta’s hideout is clearly labeled, so Daffy has no problem finding it. The problems start when he comes in and introduces himself to the thug. Canasta can’t be bothered to react to Daffy at all. Not even to his nice mask. (I agree with Daffy. It is stylish) He has no luck with either of his alter egos either; The Frisco Kid and Superguy. Eventually though, Canasta does challenge Daffy to a game of cards.

After the classic “cutting the cards joke”, Daffy deals. He gives Canasta one card and keeps the other 51 for himself. He has a royal straight flush full house with four aces. Canasta has a three of clubs and his gun in Daffy’s mouth. It’s clear who the winner is. Daffy then suggests arm wrestling. I’m not surprised he loses. Canasta is the kind of guy who makes a cigarette by putting all the ingredients into his mouth and spitting out the final product.

Porky suggests that Daffy just arrest Canasta. And I’m happy to report that Daffy doesn’t do the old “glad I thought of it gag.” That’s not my favorite gag. He slaps some handcuffs on Canasta and tries to drag him away. Canasta breaks free. Daffy finally snaps and challenges the outlaw to fight. Porky has the utmost confidence in him. (Um, Porky old pal? You did see Canasta’s Crusher impression, didn’t you?) Porky calmly waits for the fight to subside outside, (while his shirt changes color briefly) as he assures us that Daffy is going to fix Canasta’s little red wagon.

Daffy comes out the loser. And to add insult to injury, Canasta literally made him fix his little red wagon. (That’s harsh. We watched a subpar sequel to a great Daffy short for such a weak punchline?)

Personal Rating: 2 (Mostly because it’s a rather disappointing sequel, if you haven’t seen it’s predecessor, it could earn a three.)

No post next week. I’ll be out of town. But we’ll be back the week after, so stay tooned!

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Hare Trigger

“I ain’t a-givin’ up without a struggle!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, and Gerry Chiniquy;  Layouts and Backgrounds by Paul Julian and Hawley Pratt; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1945.

Happy 4th! There’s nothing more American than a cowboy. So, why not talk about Sam’s first short? (Heck, it was said to be Freleng’s favorite short that had him in it!) This short is full of firsts! It’s Hawley’s first time being credited, and what’s more it’s the first short that gives everyone their due. Leon Scheslinger wasn’t one to let valuable screen time be taken up by a still shot with a bunch of names. But when the studio was sold to the W.B. they were finally given that right.

Bugs is riding a train through the west of America as a piece of mail. (And hiding from his numerous relatives who are trying to piggyback on his film super-stardom.) Sam makes his first appearance trying to hold the train up. (He looks a wee bit different here than in his later appearances. He has a wart or something on his nose, and his mask has less hair surround it, so it is easier to tell it is a mask) The train doesn’t slow down at all. It passes right over him! Sam has to catch up to it on horse. (Which he needs stairs to mount.)

Once on board, he frightens the post man away and begins to load up. (Mail was pretty valuable in the forties.) One piece of mail talks back, so Sam introduces himself as “the meanest, roughest, rip-roaring’est, Edward Everett Horton-est, hombre that ever packed a six-shooter.” (Which is how I would introduce myself if Edward Everett Horton was still well known.) Bugs tells him of a guy in the next car who not only is all that, but packs a seven shooter to boot. Sam goes over to challenge him. (It’s Bugs.)

Sam dares him to draw a gun. Bugs is a pretty talented artist, so it’s no trouble for him. (I love this joke. I’ve pulled it before with cards. Then managed to draw the same card I drew.) Sam is impressed and tries his hand at it. It takes a while, (his efforts brilliantly portrayed with piano notes being off tune) but he manages to draw one which Bugs seems to be genuinely interested in.

“It stinks.”

(Guess not.)

Bugs is chased and he considers heading into a club car, but it’s full of live action people. While toons are definitely allowed in, the prejudice is still strong, so he heads back to the car Sam is in. They trade shots with Bugs ultimately removing Sam’s hat. What he thinks is said hat getting put back on his head, is really Bugs who calls to Sam as a sheriff. He pours some red ink on Sam’s head and Sam believes himself done for. He might have actually convinced himself to death had Bugs not left the bottle dripping onto his face.

Bugs next leads him into the club car, which now has a fight going on in it. Sam gets roughed up pretty badly, and while dazed, Bugs tricks him into stepping off the train. Sam returns though, and pulls Bugs on top for a brawl. Ultimately, Bugs is left tied up and dangling off the side with an anvil attached to his feet, Sam gleefully starts cutting the rope as the train passes over a gorge. Then a narrator acts like we’re in a serial and asks us if this is the end of our beloved Bugs Bunny. Bugs comes out onto the screen with Sam tied up mocking the idiot trying to pull this crap. He doesn’t know Bugs like we do.

Personal Rating: 3

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I’ve Got to Sing a Torch Song

“One, two, one two. Breathe Deeply!”

Supervision by Tom Palmer; Animation by Jack King; Music by Bernard Brown and Norman Spencer. A Merrie Melody released in 1933.

Once upon a time, there was an invention called the radio. It was THE form of entertainment back in the day. In fact, entire families would do their aerobics in front of it. While others got their exercise in more creative ways like tightening their wife’s girdles or rocking their children to sleep. But there was more than just exercise programs on the radio. Here, many singers who are legends today, got their starts on the radio. Like Cros Bingsby who would sing in the tub to the delight of women everywhere. (This was how many people “viewed” porn before the internet.)

And the radio wasn’t only popular in America. Wherever there were people, there were radios. In Shanghai, the police listened to it to be aware of any crimes being committed. (And tying it into a knot if it disturbed their naps.) Cannibals would tune in to listen to recipes about how to prepare celebrity soup. And even up in the frozen north, the Inuits listen to it while they fished. If they caught a whale by accident, their radio could become lodged in the creature’s blowhole. (They didn’t seem to mind though.) The radio was so popular that people would rather listen to it, than watch scantily clad women dance in front of them!

The title of this post was the name of a song that was sung by many female celebrities at the time, like Greta Garbo and Mae West. Even Lady Liberty couldn’t help but join in. Finally, the time was even told by a man who looked an awful lot like Ed Wynn. But I guess this was when he was much younger as he doesn’t even SOUND like Ed Wynn. Or maybe it could be his father? The entire family looks exactly the same.

Personal Rating: 2

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A Tale of Two Kitties

“HEY, BABBIT!”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Rod Scribner; Musical Direction by Carl W. stalling. Released in 1942.

This short was supposed to introduce the world to new characters who would be stars for Warner Bros. But someone else stole the spotlight. The two supposed stars are two kitties. (This is their tale.)

The taller one is named Babbit (Tedd Pierce) and the stout one is Catstello. (Mel) His name is never mentioned in the short, but come on. He’s a cat and if you have any idea who Abbot and Costello are, then you know who these two are based on and you’ve made the pun yourself. (That and the studio model sheets labeled him as such.) It’s time to eat and Babbit tells his comrade to go get a bird out of a nest so they can eat. Catstello is reluctant even after he’s told of how small it is. (I guess they’d each get a mouthful, but I have a feeling Babbit would hog it all.) Turns out hes got “Heightrophobia” and it takes a pin to his backside to finally get him up the ladder.

Scared sightless as his partner is, Babbit has to angrily demand that he gives him the bird. (Catstello laments that the Hayes office is what is keeping him from fulfilling that desire. I just didn’t know the term existed in the forties.) He makes a swipe at a sleeping bird but misses. This is the birthplace of Tweety. (Inspired by nude baby photos that Clampett’s mother had and he resented.) The ladder breaks and Catstello begs to be rescued from atop the remainging pole. So scared is he that he doesn’t notice Babbit saving him until he is in his arms.

For the next attempt, Babbit shoves his pal into a box against said pals protests. He’s also afraid of the dark. Babbit lets him out and the springs on his feet bounce him up to the nest. Here, our little baby Tweety (model sheets had him labeled as Orson) utters his first words: “I tawt I taw a putty tat.” Seeing as he did taw a putty tat, Tweety has no choice but to defend himself. And does he ever! Using an arsenal of guns, clubs and even TNT sticks, he continues to beat the crap out of the poor putty tat. Catstello cries over his failure while unbeknownst to him, he sits on an explosive. When Babbit detonates it he flies up towards the nest again. But he flies past it. (Tweety helps himself to Catstello’s apple. Or rather, the worm that was inside.)

When gravity kicks in, the cat falls and is able to cling onto a telephone wire. Tweety comes over to play “This ittle piddy.” A sequence that would be reused, essentially verbatim, in “Roger Rabbit“. Even down to Tweety resembling his old design.  The bird isn’t totally heartless, as he throws the cat a rope. It’s attached to an anvil, though. Said anvil crushes the cat into the ground and drags all the surroundings towards it. This includes Babbit and his victory garden. (I really like how concerned he sounds for his friend. Turns out he really does care.) The final attempt is launching Castello with wooden wings strapped on. Wouldn’t you know it, it works. (Human beings have been trying to fly for years, and it took a simpler mind to figure it out.)

Tweety calls the “fourt interceptor tommand” to report the disturbance and the cat is blasted out of the sky. He manages to avoid landing on a pitchfork in favor of his partner. (While they didn’t become the stars, they did appear in a couple more shorts after this. But they were mice. How humiliating.) Tweety is now on the ground and initiates a blackout. Seeing their chance, the two cats stalk their prey with faces that haunted my childhood.  Tweety doesn’t freak out, though. He yells at the two to turn out the lights like he told them too. Their glowing eyes instantly dim. (As does the moon.)

Personal Rating: 4

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Wagon Heels

“Him, screwball.”

Directed by Robert Clampett; Animation by Rod Scribner, Manny Gould, I. Ellis, and C. Melendez; Layouts and Backgrounds by Thomas McKimson and Michael Sasanoff; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1945.

What’s going on? Why is this place updating a day early? Well, I’m working tomorrow so you’ll have to put up with me during your holiday. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day! If you’re racist, the Martin Luther King snake will bite you!

This is a color remake of an earlier short by Clampett called “Injun Trouble.” This new title is much more friendly. If I was smart, I would have reviewed all the shorts in chronological order. (However, I amn’t smart.)

In 1849, the U.S. was a much smaller country. It was all relegated to the east coast and the rest of the land belonged to the red man, Injun Joe. (If he was born today, he’d be called Native American Joe.) But if you read your history books, (And I know you did. Kids love history!) you’ll know that the white men decided that the land was theirs and they would soon have it. A wagon train is headed to what is today known as California. (Back then, it was Joelifornia.) There are some familiar looking faces in those wagons. They look an awful lot like the gremlins from “Russian Rhapsody.”

Seeing as they’re entering enemy territory, (Containing such lovely locales as Joeklahoma, New Mexijoe, Minnejoeta, and Injunsaas.) they send out a scout to watch for trouble. Who better than my pal, Porky? Not too long after crossing the border, he finds the remnants of Joe’s last massacre. There’s only one survivor: Sloppy Moe. A blue-skinned runaway from Wackyland who may or may have clearly been driven insane by Joe’s wrath. He does admit to knowing something he won’t tell. Shouting that it’s a secret when Porky inquires. Porky shrugs him off as a lost cause.

Now why don’t we check in on this Joe character? How strong is he? And what of his age? Is the mighty Joe, young? Well, he’s certainly earned his title. He’s the original Joe Cool. He doesn’t walk around mountains, he walks through. Trees with what look like Tweety clones in his way? Them too, without pity. He reduces the most ferocious of bears into whimpering cubs, and bites bear traps into letting him go. Naturally, if you’re going to fight him, you’re going to have to send someone beyond cool, manly, and cunning. And I don’t see how you could disagree with me, but Porky fits that description. Unfortunately, Joe has found Porky’s wagon train and diverts them off course leaving them out in the open. You might think Joe loses coolness points for riding a stick horse, but that’s actually quite clever. What horse could hold his weight?

The train tries to fight back, but they don’t stand a chance. Joe uses whole trees as arrows and can make uses of bullets too. He crams them in his mouth and fires back cannon shells at them. Porky catches up and wrestles Joe’s tomahawk away from him and gives him a smack on the foot. At least he hurt Joe. That’s more than any of us could have done. The angry Injun causes Porky to jump out of his skin-colored pants, and chases him to a cliff. It looks bad. How could things get worse? Well, Moe comes back. He’s still singing about his secret, but Joe won’t put up with such tomfoolery and demands to know it. Turns out, he already did.

Moe’s secret is about Joe’s weakness: he’s ticklish. Using his beard Moe tickles the burly brave into submission and he falls off the cliff. The force of his impact causes all of his territory to be dragged down with him, stretching our country to it’s current size. Goodbye, U.S.J. and hello U.S.A. (Bet you didn’t know that the country was fully formed at that time. We just didn’t announce it until 1912.) It’s all thanks to our heroes: Porky the fearless and Sloppy Moe the brave. (Moe would appear years later on “Tiny Toons” when they did a parody of “The Great Piggy Bank Robbery.” There, he was called Ticklepuss.

Personal Rating: 4 Better than the original. (If I was smart, it’d be discussed by now.)

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The Wacky Wabbit

“You chubby little rascal!”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Sid Sutherland; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1942.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been able to connect the featured short with something appropriate for the time of year. Can I do it again? You bet! Elmer is in his fat phase again, just like how most of us are after the holidays. (But not me because I was dieting all of last year.)

Elmer is out in the desert. (My guess is it’s in California. Do you really care though?) He’s off prospecting for gold whilst singing “Oh, Susannah!” (No one sings that anymore though. Shame.) Bugs is there too, hiding under a bovine skull. He says hi to the the passing prospector, who politely says hi back. Not getting the reaction he wanted, Bugs tags along joining in the song. Eventually, Elmer catches on and freaks out. (I know I would be if I saw a singing skull with eyes still in the sockets.) He quickly figures out it was just that “scwewey wabbit” and starts digging. (I love how he makes an “X” before digging in a completely different spot.)

He drops an explosive down the hole, but it keeps popping back up. In desperation, he zips the hole up an hides. Being the nice guy he is, (*snicker*) Bugs returns him his T.N.T. Elmer cowers, but the stick was a dud. That doesn’t stop Bugs from shouting “BAM” anyway. Elmer grabs his gun but Bugs has exciting news: Gold has been found! Where is it? It’s his gold tooth. Elmer shows off his own before realizing the trick. He tries to dig Bugs out of his hole, but his pick axe has gotten stuck in the cliff wall behind him. Bugs uses this opportunity to cut Fudd’s clothes off, revealing his girdle. Seeing us laughing, Elmer scolds us, saying that he’s sure plenty of the audience’s men wear one too. (Not me personally, but I love how comfortable he is with himself.)

Redressing, he leaps into the hole himself. Bugs buries him and walks off. (Notice that the shot has changed. They were in a canyon before, but now they appear to be out in the open.) Elmer escapes somehow and tells the wabbit his plans: he came for gold, and he’s going to get it. And Bugs definitely has some. Bugs is not willing to part with a piece of his body, so Elmer tackles him and wrestles it away. The short ends with him smiling at his success, unaware that the tooth he is holding is his.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Old Grey Hare

“What’s up, Pruneface?”

A bad case of rabbitightens.

Direction by Robert Clampett; Animation by Robert McKimson; Story by Michael Sasanoff; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1944.

Here’s your final entry of 2016. Everyone has already said that this year sucked. They’re right. I’d go more into it, but this blog is for Looney Tunes and Looney Tunes related things. So, let’s just agree that the year was crap, we’ll hope the next will be better and around this time next year, we’ll be saying the exact same things. Now then, with time constantly moving on, why not talk about a short that shows just that?

Elmer is crying. It’s only been four years since he started, but he’s already given up hope on ever succeeding in getting Bugs. A voice tells him to keep trying. It’s never explicitly stated, but it’s kinda obvious that it’s God. (And he’s voiced by Mel. Don’t you think it would have been a bit more clever if he was voiced by Arthur Q. Bryan?) Elmer agrees that he should keep trying, but how long will it take? So God allows Elmer to look into the future to see how things will turn out. This means one of two things: either he’ll succeed, or die trying.

It seems that things will come to an end in 2000 A.D. Which is odd; I was alive by that point and I don’t recall any of this. (But then, I had just discovered Cable T.V. and it was hard to pry me away.) A lot has changed. (And I don’t just mean appearance wise.) The horse Bing Crosby bet on still hasn’t come in, and Smellivision replaced Television. (The paper that Fudd is reading says that Carl Stalling doesn’t think it will catch on. Guess he was right.) And Elmer is now toting a “Buck Wogers Wightning Qwick Wabbit Kiwwer.” There’s no way he can lose! All we need now is Bugs.

Luckily, he pops up not too long afterwards. He’s looking pretty good for being 54 years older. (All that time has passed and I only can see one grey hare.) Sure he’s aged somewhat, (less teeth, glasses, and a beard) but he still has enough strength to strangle Elmer before hobbling away. (Seems like he’s got lumbago too.) Elmer fires his new weapon, and wouldn’t you know it: he shoots Bugs. The bunny can’t believe it either. He begins reminiscing and gives Fudd a present: A photo album! It shows all their good times together, including the first time they ever met. That happened when they were babies. Even though Fudd’s picture is labeled with him being “only 3 and a 1/2 years old.” (They just couldn’t resist making that joke again. It really should say “seconds” instead of years. Wouldn’t it be funnier to think that the very first thing Elmer did after being born was go hunting?)

A flashback ensues. Elmer is crawling along with a pop gun and looks into a small rabbit hole. Bug’s pops up and babbles some baby talk while drinking carrot juice. (Luckily there is a subtitle for those of us older than the age of 1. But then they both start talking in English. I guess we’re just seeing things from their point of view?) They begin their first chase of many. Only to stop briefly to take a nap. When they resume, Bugs is able to get away. (This proves that no matter how many times Bugs is called a “rabbit” he is really more of a hare, as young rabbits are born naked and helpless, whereas hares are not.) Needing to match his prey’s speed, Elmer gets a stroller and drives after the leveret. (That’s the term for a baby hare, folks.)

Miming a cop, (that includes miming a motorcycle too. Something proto-Bugs did once. Leading me to believe he is Bug’s father.) he pulls Fudd over and berates him for speeding. After he leaves Fudd crying in his carriage, (I think that’s a real baby cry too. Way to be authentic, Bob.) the flashback ends and we go back to the two seniors. (This is the only Bugs Bunny short where Bugs doesn’t appear once as his modern self.) Elmer is devastated that he has killed his oldest and dearest friend, while Bugs starts digging his own grave. He tells Elmer to smile while he does it. (Doesn’t every dying person say that?) Elmer is so distraught that he doesn’t notice Bugs switching places with him, until the rabbit (I mean hare) buries him alive.

So there’s God’s answer: Elmer is never going to win. Elmer is unhappy, but he takes some solace in the fact that he is rid of Bugs forever. Bugs comes back to give him some parting gifts: a goodbye kiss, and a lit firecracker. Don’t worry. Bob may use actual crying of children for sound effects, but he draws the line at blowing up the elderly. But that doesn’t stop it from rattling the “That’s All Folks!” end card once it does blow.

Personal Rating: 4