Jumpin’ Jupiter

“The stars are so bright tonight, you can almost touch em.”

M-m-m-m-men from Mars’s next door neighbor!

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Keith Darling, Abe Levitow and Richard Thompson; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1955.

You are traveling through an animated area. An area of wisecracking rabbits, egotistical ducks, fanatic coyotes and homicidal canaries. Behind any door could be a train speeding towards you, and when you walk outside you must beware of falling anvils. It’s as clear as the pie on your face. You have just entered: The Wacky Zone.

Submitted for your approval, is the tale of one Porky T. Pig. He is out camping in a desert with his cat, Sylvester. Said cat is terrified. There are coyotes around, and coyotes will eat cats. But little does he know that soon he will have much more extreme fears.

Porky, does not worry about his cat possibly dying and leaves him outside the tent while he sleeps. Despite his worry, Sylvester does manage to get some shuteye. As they slumber, a flying saucer spots the campsite. Landing, we learn it is from Jupiter and on a mission to collect samples of Earth life. The pilot of said craft comes out, and doesn’t he look familiar? It’s one of the instant Martians that Marvin is so fond of using! (Never buy Instant Martians from Craigslist.) Liking what he sees, (I’m guessing. He doesn’t emote much.) He gets back in his ship and burrows under the campsite. With the plot of land safely on top, he flies back into space. (Which seems to be full of bubbles.) The lack of oxygen doesn’t bother Porky, but the lack of heat does and he grabs another blanket.

The Instant Jupiterian comes out to check on his specimens and Sylvester panics. Unlike in other encounters they have together, he actually gets Porky to see the object of his fear. Porky is so cool, he doesn’t even bat an eye. He tells the (man?) that he’ll look at his wares in the morning, pointing out to us that the stranger was a Navajo. I don’t think that was racist. Porky isn’t one to be…

Hey! I already excused this!

As I was saying: Porky goes back to sleep, while Sylvester continues to hide under the bed. The Jupiter (man created by) Jones goes back to his ship to read up on Earth life. Only now do they seem to be free from Earth’s gravitational pull, as everything on the ship begins to drift away. (Except the dirt. I guess there’s magnets in it.) Porky and his belongings float down to ground just as he wakes up. Nothing like a good nights sleep to make the world look new. He even sees a planet he’s never seen before in the sky. (I’ve played Kirby 64. I think it’s called Shiver Star.) He packs up camp and drives off with his pal Sylvester. Unaware they are being watched by the natives of the planet. Unaware that he is no longer on Earth.

Porky Pig. A mild mannered Earthling. He survived his close encounter of the second kind, and lived to tell about it. However, he just might soon find that things will never be the same. They never are, here in: The Wacky Zone.

Personal Rating: 4

Heaven Scent

“♪A smile was all you gave to me…♪”

Oh, to be a skunk. Nobody bothers those guys.

Directed by Chuck Jones; Story by Chuck Jones; Animation by Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson, Ken Harris, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Erni Nordli; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released in 1956.

A fisherman comes back from the water one day with a decent sized batch of fish. The scent of the dead animals attracts the nose of one Penelope Pussycat. She tries to help herself to one of the morsels, but finds dogs every way she looks. The constant barking eventually has her hopping onto a flap pole that has been recently painted. Unlike most of her appearances, this time the stripe is no accident. She coats her back in the paint and her skunk disguise is complete. (Isn’t it interesting? If you had no idea what a skunk was, you’d never guess it was the most feared animal on the planet.)

The trick works, and the dogs are sent running. The fisherman too. So there is nothing stopping Penelope from helping herself to a nice fat fish and heading off to the park for a picnic of one. But you know, picnics by yourself kinda scream “I’m lonely.” If only she had a special someone to share her life with. Enter Pepe. And he is smitten. And since the only thing required to make a relationship work is the male wanting the female, why does she run from him? He won’t let that stop him though. He finds her in grapes, and a tree. (Pepe: “Marry me.” *she runs* Pepe: “Too subtle?”)

So, he decides to try the “playing hard to get card,” himself. Running in front of her and saying that he loves her but isn’t sure about marriage yet. She runs in a different direction. (The wood in the fences and trees in the background is interesting in this short. They aren’t colored in. An artistic choice? Or was Mr. DeGuard feeling lazy on this one?) Pepe knows a shortcut and manages to catch her in his arms. Running out of directions, Penelope begins running up a mountain. Pepe is still right behind her and has a little fun making her an echo love note. But she runs again. Pepe continues following her, as she runs into a tunnel that is blocked. Pepe stops to note that while there is not much difference between the sexes, “Viva La Difference!” and follows after her.

And it just ends. Weird. It was pretty entertaining, but I guess they didn’t really have a clue about how to end it. That poor ending probably makes this my least favorite Pepe short. But I’ll have to watch them all again to be sure. (And yes, I’ve seen every Pepe Le Pew cartoon. Hasn’t everybody?)

Personal Rating: 3

(Nah, It was probably an artistic choice by Philip. I never knew the guy, but I don’t think he’d be one to accidentally leave wood uncolored.)

Raw! Raw! Rooster

“I won- I say, I wonder what the poor chickens are doing.”

That Rhode Island Red ain’t right. (Or blue.)

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Russ Dyson, Ted Bonnicksen, George Grandpre, and Keith Darling; Layouts and Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1956.

Life is good for Foghorn. As the only male in the chicken yard, he has many hens to love and worship him. But it appears that the good times will only last so long as he receives a telegram from an old college buddy, Rhode Island Red. (Based on the names roosters have here, I can only assume that their other friends were named Chantic-Larry and Plymouth Rocky.) Foghorn isn’t happy to hear this. He had enough of Red in college. (Am I the only one who would be interested in seeing some shorts based on his college days?)

He barricades the place, but whoops! Red was the telegram man the whole time. And he greets Foghorn with joy buzzers and squirting flowers. Then he heads right over to Foghorn’s hens. That was a fun visit, time for Red to leave. (I feel for Foghorn here. I’ve had to put up with old “friends” from school that thought I wanted to talk to them again after all those years. How wrong they were.) Foghorn sets up a trick camera that will knock Red into a pit when the “picture is taken.” Naturally, it doesn’t work until Foghorn gets in front of it. After climbing out of the pit, Red still asks for a photo and Foghorn obliges to shoot him. Red isn’t as daft as you’d think, and puts his fingers in the “lenses” of Foghorn’s “camera.”

Later, Red shows off his football skills to the hens with Foghorn’s help. Foghorn puts a firecracker in the melon they are using as a ball and throws him a pass. But the funny thing about football is, you can pass the ball back. But Red is a sportsman of all types and accepts Foghorn’s game of golf next. Foghorn tries to use trick exploding balls on Red. But the first one doesn’t go off until Red hits it towards him and the second one goes off when Foghorn hits it.

Finally though, he comes up with a working plan. He puts on his own telegram man outfit and delivers a note to Red informing him of an inheritance to pick up. While Foghorn could just win like this, he has to one up Red again by presenting him with some parting gifts. A time bomb that he calls an electric bowling ball, and an electric clock that will tell him when to bowl. With friends like him, why would Red need any enemies?

Personal Rating: 3

My Little Duckaroo

“I’ve got you now, Canasta.”

He’s gonna tear him limb from tree!

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Ben Washam, Abe Levitow, Richard Thompson and Lloyd Vaughn; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Phillip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Directon by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released in 1954.

It’s a followup to “Dripalong Daffy.” And sadly, it’s not as good as its predecessor. Daffy is once again cast as the hero, known this time as the Masked Avenger. Porky is there too, and still relegated to the role of comic relief. Daffy spots a wanted poster for Nasty Canasta. (Looking different than he did in his first appearance and how he would look in “Barbary Coast Bunny.” Guy just can’t find a style he likes.) Daffy decides to fix his little red wagon, but not because it is the right thing to do. It’s all about the money.

Luckily, Canasta’s hideout is clearly labeled, so Daffy has no problem finding it. The problems start when he comes in and introduces himself to the thug. Canasta can’t be bothered to react to Daffy at all. Not even to his nice mask. (I agree with Daffy. It is stylish) He has no luck with either of his alter egos either; The Frisco Kid and Superguy. Eventually though, Canasta does challenge Daffy to a game of cards.

After the classic “cutting the cards joke”, Daffy deals. He gives Canasta one card and keeps the other 51 for himself. He has a royal straight flush full house with four aces. Canasta has a three of clubs and his gun in Daffy’s mouth. It’s clear who the winner is. Daffy then suggests arm wrestling. I’m not surprised he loses. Canasta is the kind of guy who makes a cigarette by putting all the ingredients into his mouth and spitting out the final product.

Porky suggests that Daffy just arrest Canasta. And I’m happy to report that Daffy doesn’t do the old “glad I thought of it gag.” That’s not my favorite gag. He slaps some handcuffs on Canasta and tries to drag him away. Canasta breaks free. Daffy finally snaps and challenges the outlaw to fight. Porky has the utmost confidence in him. (Um, Porky old pal? You did see Canasta’s Crusher impression, didn’t you?) Porky calmly waits for the fight to subside outside, (while his shirt changes color briefly) as he assures us that Daffy is going to fix Canasta’s little red wagon.

Daffy comes out the loser. And to add insult to injury, Canasta literally made him fix his little red wagon. (That’s harsh. We watched a subpar sequel to a great Daffy short for such a weak punchline?)

Personal Rating: 2 (Mostly because it’s a rather disappointing sequel, if you haven’t seen it’s predecessor, it could earn a three.)

No post next week. I’ll be out of town. But we’ll be back the week after, so stay tooned!

Tweety and the Beanstalk

“Acres and acres of Tweety Bird!”

His, you understand? His! All His!

Directed by Friz Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Virgil Ross, Gerry Chiniquy, and Art Davis; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Film Editor: Treg brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc. (Uncredited: June Foray); Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1957.

This short doesn’t bother with any kind of cow, it cuts straight to Jack’s mother’s angry shouts about him giving up a whole cow for five beans. (At least he got five, most stories I’ve heard have him getting three.) Regardless, she throws them out where they land underneath a sleeping Sylvester. Only one grows, (well, there is only one stalk) and takes him and his bed up into the clouds coming to a rest on some land in the sky. (I’ve always wondered about that too. Why is there more land in the sky? Is it another planet? The moon from Majora’s Mask? Angel Island from Sonic?)

Waking up, the cat walks off and finds a castle. Ignoring most sentient being’s reactions to run away, he heads on over. He finds a treasure worth way more than a goose: A King-sized Canary! He wastes no time in grabbing the creature that’s roughly his size. Tweety doesn’t fight back. Then again, if I was being carried off by a cat that was as tall as me, I’d probably be in shock too. Before he can dig in, Tweety’s giant owner comes back and Sylvester is forced to flee. The giant puts his bird back in his cage and hangs it from the ceiling. So does he know that something was trying to hurt his bird? It’s not like putting Tweety up higher will keep him any safer from getting out.

Sylvester begins planning to get his meal, barely avoiding waking a giant bulldog in the process. He casts a fishing line over a rafter and ties the other end to his tail. It seems to work, but the line comes undone and he crashes to the floor. Somehow, this wakes up the dog. (I just don’t think Sylvester would make such a loud noise.) Sylvester hides in a mouse hole but leaves upon seeing a kangaroo. Oh, no. It’s actually a giant mouse. I always get the two mixed up. He tricks the dog into another room before retrying. Tying a screwdriver to a pole he manages to unscrew the bottom of the cage, but is flattened; Tweety staying safe on his swing.

He tries riding a champagne cork up, but mis-aims and gets stuck in a hole in the ceiling. He jumps on it but lands both of them in a gun which fires them both back into a hole. He finds a saw that’s his size up there. (I guess Jack never made it out in this version) and cutting a hole in the cork, he lowers himself down via a similar sized rope, but the dog somehow came back and slams him between some cymbals. Recovering, he tricks the dog into the other room again. He sets up a catapult or rahter, a cat-apult, (It’s an old joke, but it’s okay to laugh) made of a spatula and an apple. It actually works and he grabs the bird, but the apple lands on him and if that’s not bad enough, the giant comes back.

He chases after the cat. Any pet owner would do the same. Climbing down the beanstalk Sylvester gets an axe and chops the stalk down. The giant lands on him though, and the shock sends the cat through the earth and down to china. (No matter where you dig in fiction, you will end up in China.) There he is spied by a racially insensitive Chinese Tweety. Well at least he’s not too bad; just slanty eyes and a coolie hat. At least they didn’t give him buck teeth. Or a buck beak I guess.

Personal Rating: 3

The Turn-tale Wolf

“How I dread passing the houses of them three, mean, little pigs.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, Herman Cohen, and Rod Scribner; Layouts by Peter Alvarado; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952.

School is out for the day and a young wolf (Blanc doing his Sylvester Jr. voice,) heads home angrily. Once there, he calls his uncle out for blowing down the houses of pigs. Seems they learned all about him in school today. (His uncle also clearly has a picture of a topless woman pinned to his wall. I don’t like it when wolves are attracted to humans. It makes my brain throw up.) Uncle Big Bad claims he is innocent and the story is all backwards. He sets his nephew down to listen to his side of the tale. (Speaking of tails, why doesn’t his poke out of his pants? Isn’t that uncomfortable?)

When the wolf was a younger wolf (and now his tails clearly pokes out? Suspicious!) he loved to commune with nature. But he always had to pass the homes of three rude pigs. Look familiar? Those are the same guys who sold Bugs their houses to avoid wolf attacks. Only now they dress like Huey, Dewey and Louie, whereas the third one wore yellow before. (Which was actually those ducks original color set. I’m getting off topic. The bottom line is these pigs shall henceforth have the same names. I’m sure it’s obvious who gets which moniker, but I’ll spell it out for those of you who are uneducated in the tooniverse. Blue pig=Huey, Green pig=Dewey, and Red pig=Louie.)

He has every right to dislike them as the mean little pork chops slingshot him whenever he passes. But today, Louie suggests that they actually let the wolf play with them. (Giving his confused companions a wink.) They even let the wolf use their biggest slingshot and offer to load it for him. He gets a boulder in the face. According to Big Bad, he didn’t “moidalize” them for this joke, but actually cried. For being a good sport, the pigs decide he can play another game of theirs called “Surprise! Surprise!” All he had to do was put his hands behind his back where they will put an unknown gift. He can look when they tell him to. He gets a firecracker. (Well, he was surprised.)

As he goes on, he tells his nephew that he continued playing with the pigs. One day while playing a friendly game of “Swat the Fly” (Rule 1: All non-pigs get beaten with paddles by pigs. Rule 2: All non-pigs forfeit the game if they play by the rules.) they see a sign advertising a bounty on wolves. Specifically, their tails. He has a right to be nervous as his new pals are staring at his butt with dollar signs in their eyes. (At least they’re not horny?) They deny that they would have any desire to rip off his tail as he’s there friend. In fact, they want him to be the king for the day! They have a throne set up and everything! Sitting down, he pulls a bell rope at the pigs suggestion to let his proclamation ring. In actuality, it’s connected to a guillotine blade and the wolf just barely keeps his tail intact.

With the jig up, the pigs no longer bother hiding their blood lust and chase him back to his house. They blow down his house and with him knocked out under the rubble, they advance with a crazy look in their eyes. The nephew, upon hearing all this, doesn’t buy it. The wolf then shows that he was tailless all along! *Haunting laughter as lightning strikes*

(Before the short ends though, he confides to us that he lost it in a swinging door. Keep that ending away from the campfire, pal)

Personal Rating: 3

Red Riding Hoodwinked

“EEE! The big bad putty-tat!”

HEY GRANDMA! I BROUGHT A LITTLE BIRD FOR YOU! TA HAVE!

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Arthur Davis, Gery Chiniquy, and Ted Bonnicksen; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Music by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1955.

Quite the interesting way to start this tale! Ms. Foray tells about the hood of all things. It was worn by a girl, so they called her Red Riding Hood. (The hood meanwhile was named “Girl inside my body”) On this day, Red is going to visit her grandmother and is bringing her a gift. Namely, Tweety. This gets the attention of Sylvester who was in the middle of feasting on Trash Scraps TM. The girl gets on the bus with the cat following. (And crashing into a post since he wasn’t looking where he was going.)

As is the case with nearly all buses, it drops her off with still a distance to go and she skips through the woods the rest of the way. She is being watched by the Big Bad Wolf. (I thought that was the wolf from the 3 pigs story.) With quite the terrible memory as he needs a sign (that comes out of nowhere) to be clued in on her name. (Then again, how would he know her name in the first place? Has he tried this before?) She tells him of her plans before being on her way again. The wolf decides to take the shortcut to Granny’s place. (Why didn’t Red take it?) Along the way, he sends Sylvester a glare that warns him to keep out of his way. (“Now where was I going again? Oh yeah, Grandma’s house.”)

Since he took the shortcut he is the first to get there and shoves Granny out. (And I do mean Granny. It’s not some generic old woman in this tale.) He finds Sylvester already in the bed. (Somehow.) Then Red arrives and knowing that Sylvester could easily tip her off that something is amiss, has him hide under the bed. (He needs him nearby as he still can’t quite remember the kid’s name.) Red comes in to show her gift. A canary is hardly a meal for a wolf, so he has her place it on the ground. There, Tweety asks why the old woman is also under the bed.

Knowing that everyone has heard the dialogue before and knows it by heart, Red makes all her observations in one statement. The wolf and cat reveal who they really are and give chase. Sylvester accidentally slams a door on the wolf and brings him to with some water. Instead of being grateful, the wolf beats him with the pail. This allows their prey to make a getaway. They chase them outside, but the two cleverly run back in and lock the door. The wolf goes to the back and tries to break down that door, while Sylvester begins nailing a rubber band to the front. The wolf finally gets in the back way, and goes to let Sylvester in, (Guess he’s realized that the cat isn’t trying to eat girl meat and could actually make a decent ally.) just as Sylvester launches a rock at the non-budging door.

While he checks to make sure his pal is okay, the girl and the bird make a retreat to the bus stop, getting on a bus. The predators run faster than the vehicle to the next stop leaving their prey all but trapped. The bus stops for them and they shove past each other to get in. Then are immediately punched off by the bus driver, Granny herself. Don’t ever come between a grandmother and her granddaughter/pet.

Personal Rating: 3

Little Red Rodent Hood

“What a big, red nose you got!”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Arthur Davis, and Manuel Perez; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Irv Wyner; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952.

It’s time for little Timmy mouse to go to bed. He may look adorable in his little tobacco sleeping sack, but he’s kind of annoying. (Constantly pestering his grandmother to tell him a story.) She is nice enough to comply and as she regales her tale, Timmy envisions it in his head.

Once, Red Riding Hood was skipping through a field of flowers, (A pattered carpet.) and through a forest of trees. (Chair and table legs.) But lurking in that forest, was a big bad wolf. (Sylvester) He heads off for grandmas house. (Which apparently has a human sized bed.) Weird how Red/Timmy doesn’t go up the stairs which is the shortcut. I guess he is going to climb through the vents? Sylvester dresses up in a nightgown and throws the three other cats out of the bed. And the one offering cigarettes out from under his pillow. (“I don’t sthmoke!”)

Red comes in and enacts the timeless dialogue. Sylvester doesn’t catch him and is forced to give chase. Sliding down the banister, he slips on some butter Red left there and he overshoots his goal, ending up outside. Since he can’t blow the house down, he sticks some T.N.T. into the mail slot. A bulldog was standing right behind it, and is not pleased to find an explosive in his mouth. He forces it into the cat/wolf’s mouth. Dressing in drag, Sylvester claims to be the mouse’s fairy godmother and has come to grant him a wish. (Wielding a cattle prod-esque wand.) The dog sees his ploy and unplugs it before the mouse is tapped. (Why is the magic word “raggmopp?” Is that a reference I’m not getting?) He plugs it back in when Sylvester tries it on himself.

Sylvester does finally manage to catch the mouse under a glass, who in turn draws a curtain (out of nowhere) so the cat can’t see the tank he’ making. After an explosion, the rodent red riding hood hides in his house with Sylvester waiting outside. Timmy begs his grandma to finish the story. She says that Red used a firecracker to blow up the “wolf.” She even demonstrates. Timmy is sure that blew him up. Sylvester confirms this. So was Granny the original Red? Did Sylvester really wait outside her house for maybe three years? (Mouse years, of course.)

Personal Rating: 3

Bewitched Bunny

“She is a witch, and means to eat you for her supper.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Lloyd Vaughan, Ken Harris, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1954.

Chuck Jones must’ve really enjoyed the Disney character, Witch Hazel from the 1952 short “Trick or Treat”, and so he would create his own, and this was her first appearance. (Let’s be honest. His has way more personality)

Bugs is reading the story of Hansel and Gretel. Much to his surprise, he finds he’s become part of the story and has just come to the part where the witch invites the kids into her gingerbread house. (It doesn’t look like gingerbread, but let’s be fair: it wouldn’t last long if it really was.) The kids are your stereotypical German kids, and as such they have thick accents and hefty appetites. They accept her offer for more food and follow her inside. This looks like a job for the masked Avenger! (Iron man?) But since he’s not around, Bugs’ll have to do.

Inside, the kids are chowing down and are oblivious to the fact they are sitting in a large pan. Hazel (who is not voice by June Foray in this short, but rather Bea Bennederet) is glancing over the various dishes she can make with the kids. (Urchin Pie is a great delicacy, speaking personally.) Bugs arrives dressed as a truant officer and finds the kids. (He also realizes what a weird name Hansel is.) He warns them of their impending fate and they waste no time believing him and hightail it out of there. Personally, I’d stick around. This house is cool! Look at that decor! The window curtains are painted on, and there’s a picture of a boat labeled: witchcraft. (Genius!)

Bugs takes off his disguise as he accomplished his mission. But it might have been better to wait until he was outside as Hazel decides to have a rabbit dinner instead. She mounts her broom (that channels the spirit of Charlie Chaplin) but crashes. Good thing she is a witch. Magic works wonders! And she happens to have several sleeping potions on standby. (Did you know that worm sweat residue is one?) She cooks up a brew and fills up a carrot with it. (She has a jar of nice on the shelf. If she only wasn’t out of sugar and spice. She could make her own girls from scratch.) Bugs catching a whiff of food cooking comes in and delivers my favorite line he has ever said: “I get to lick the po-ot! I get to lick the po-ot!” Hysterical.

Hazel shoos him out while she finishes. She then finishes. Bugs sits down to dine while she prepares a bed for him. Bet you didn’t know that Rabbits sleep in piles of root vegetables. Upon learning the carrot he ate was poisoned, he falls asleep. (No it wasn’t. Drugged maybe, but not poisoned. Hazel doesn’t want to die.) Hazel goes to get some relish. (You can’t eat rabbit without relish. It’d be like eating urchin pie without gravy.) And then a handsome prince arrives. Or at least what many girls consider handsome. I’m heterosexual so I’m not sure. He awakes Bugs with a kiss. The rabbit is grateful, but points out he should be looking for Snow White. (The prince for the record also realizes what a weird name Hansel is.)

Hazel resumes the chase and Bugs appears to be trapped. Finding some magic powder that is to only be used in emergencies, he hurls it at her. She turns into a rabbit doe, and the hallway gets a romantic makeover. Bugs immediately falls head over heels for her. As they walk away, Bugs take note of our obviously skeptical faces. He knows it may be a little creepy, but then, aren’t all women witches inside? (Please note: The views expressed by Mister Bugs Bunny do not accurately reflect the opinions of the author of this blog. Only some women are truly witches. However one thing we all can agree on is this: Hansel is a weird name.)

Personal Rating: 3

The Super Snooper

“What’s on your mind? Besides your hat?”

Oh, so he’s working THAT side of the street.

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Herman Cohen, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Charles Mckimson; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952

In this short, Daffy is Duck Drake. Which is like if my name was human man. (Why does that actually sound cool?) He’s a private eye, ear, nose, and throat. And he could really use a new case. His old one is full of empty bottles. (I hope you enjoy puns. There’s a lot of them here.) Good luck for him! A phone call informs him that there has been a murder at the J. Cleaver Axehandle Estate. And they are willing to give up plenty of cash. Which they prove they have by sending it through the phone. (Even bus fare.)

Daffy (literally) hops out of the building and heads off. Upon arriving he starts interrogating the butler, before stopping to admit it’s never the butler and follows him inside. (Doing the classic “walk this way” gag.) He demands to see the body, and boy does he get it. The woman claiming to be the body is a combination of Melissa from “The Scarlet Pumpernickel,” and Jessica Rabbit. She has the hots for Daffy, who doesn’t let hormones get in the way of business. (I’m impressed.) She also claims to be innocent. Daffy can’t believe it, she has guilt written all over her face. (Nothing a little make-up can’t cover.)

He begins his accusations of her shooting her husband with her playing her part. Could she have grabbed a handgun from her handbag and shot him? (The demonstration leaves Daffy’s bill full of holes.) Or maybe she took the rifle off the wall and killed him that way? (Possibly. She has quite the aim as she proves in her Daffy themed shooting gallery.) Perhaps it was the ole’ dropping a piano on his head? (Has anyone ever been offed this way?) Or the extremely over complicated rerouting the train tracks to the front door scenario? (A classic.)

Nope and nope. As she stated, there was no murder here. Daffy has gotten the wrong location! But she is guilty. Guilty of being head over heels for Daffy. Seeing her pupils have turned into ball n’ chains, Daffy bolts. Melessica takes off after him, the silhouettes they make crashing through the door form a couple walking down the aisle. Isn’t it romantic?

Personal Rating: 3