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Bugs and Daffy’s Carnival of the Animals

“Wait’ll you hear MY arpeggios!”

There’s nothing corny about this concerto!

Produced, written, and directed by Chuck Jones; Production Design by Herbert Klynn. A TV special released in 1976.

The first television special for the Looney Tunes! Bugs and Daffy are going to play parts from Camille Saint-Saëns’ “Carnival of the Animals,” And quote the poems Odgen Nash wrote about said music. I love animals, I love animation, and I love music. Throw chocolate and video games in there, and you’ve got my nirvana!

Things start rather rocky as Bugs and Daffy argue on the pronunciation of the man’s name. Bugs says it correctly, while Daffy insists it be pronounced phonetically. Porky (making a quick cameo) arrives to tell that the show is starting and Bugs walks out on stage, getting tons of applause. Daffy gets none as he enters. The conductor begins and the two take their places each playing a piano. (Not all of the pieces are here, but they got a good number of them. Besides, pianists don’t belong at a carnival of animals anyway.)

Lions: This part is drawn in a simplified style as we see a pride of lions heading off into a cave. Inside, only their eyes and roaring mouths can be seen. (Kinda creepy to be honest.) These are also some pretty lively lions. You’d think they’d be sleeping in the day.

Roosters and Hens: Daffy and Bugs introduce this part by wearing gloves as combs, Daffy still not get any any love. It’s a shame Foghorn couldn’t have made a cameo at this part. The chickens peck and crow.

Wild Jackass: Daffy throws in the the mule couplet Ogden wrote as well. Which is kind of weird. Camille made a part about donkeys AND mules? Why not include horses, ponies, quaggas, zebras, hinnies, zedonks, zorses and unicorns as wells? Carnival of the equines. Instead of showing any animals at this part, we just see a carousel with color changing donkeys.

(Passing by the elephant for now and skipping the tortoise altogether)

Kangaroos: I should mention that Bugs and Daffy don’t admit they are quoting Mr. Nash and instead act like they are making up the rhymes on the spot. Daffy challenges the rabbit to rhyme boomerang. It’s a good thing Australians enjoy kangaroo-meringues. Represented by a couple of kangaroo silhouettes jumping to the music. (They have to jump because they are incapable of walking)

(More skipping around to…)

Birds: Wait, we already had chickens. Which by the way, are BIRDS! Luckily, Bugs and Daffy don’t play the parts of the cuckoo and the swan. I guess Camille just meant Passerines, here. Songbirds, to you commoners) Daffy likes this part, as he himself is a bird. (His neck stripe is orange in this special.) The birds sing in a piece that looks like it came from “Yellow Submarine”

(Backing up a bit)

Aquarium: Bugs and Daffy seem to be having fun together now. (Bugs is speaking with Daffy’s voice for some reason.) The music perfectly conveys the idea of submerging under the sea. (For the longest time I thought this was the “Harry Potter” theme. I’m glad I never told anyone they were the same.) Since they didn’t claim to only be fish, we are also treated to an image of a (demon) whale, a sea star, and a jellyfish.

(Now we get to the…)

Elephant: (What’s with Nash’s words here? How are the elephants teeth upside down? Teeth can grow upwards) This part looks like it came from a schoolhouse rock video. For some reason, a few of the elephants have purple eyes that stare into my soul. More creepyness.

(Back in order…)

Fossils: How nice of Camille to include extinct animals as well. No reason they should be left out of a carnival saluting them. Nash’s poetry is actually kinda scary here. Imagine being alone in a museum at midnight, and suddenly all the fossils start to sing and make music with their bodies. (Even Daffy is hiding during this part.) The animation here is just some rough images of dead things. Not just dinosaurs either. I spy a hominid skull, a mastodon, and a plant fossil. (Why is that there? Carnival of the ANIMALS! The botany parade is next week.)

Finale: My favorite part! Something one can dance to! Much like “Fantasia 2000” I wouldn’t mind whole movie set to this music. (But I suppose that would take a lot of the fun out of things. The music here kind of outright tells you what to picture, as opposed to letting the animators coming to their own conclusions.) It’s like a Rhythm Heaven Remix with the animals of the previous pieces returning to strut their stuff one more time.

The two pianists finish and leave. Daffy is still not getting any of the attention he deserves. Why ever not? Seems the audience is comprised of nothing but rabbits. (Who better to perform “The carnival of the Animals” to?)

Personal Rating: 4. (Beautiful music. Beautiful animation. It’s like “Fantasia” with a fraction of the budget.)

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What price Porky

““Dumb Clucks,” are we?”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Charles Jones and Bob Cannon; Musical Score by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938.

Porky owns a chicken farm and takes good care of his hens. Not only does he give them tasty corn to eat, but he even has some on the cob for dessert. But before they can enjoy that, some a-hole ducks take the cobs and enjoy them in the pond, where the chickens can’t get them. Porky (very politely I might add) asks the ducks to not do that, but instead the lead duck sends them a note declaring war. (Jerk. You started it.) The hens agree and begin pecking out trenches and making troops. No, not recruiting. Making. Their eggs hatch ready for battle. If I didn’t already use the “inant-try” joke in “Porky’s Poor Fish” I sure would here.

The ducks aren’t just big talkers though. They have the means to fight back, complete with their own navy and fighter jets. Piloted by cute naked ducklings with bandanas. (I don’t know why they are naked. Ducklings hatch fully feathered.) Setting up their sides (with no hen’s land in between) they begin their fight. The hens have one of their hens sneak over, but she is caught by a duck who sounds like Yakky Doodle. (You thought he sounded like Donald? Please.) Her chicks underneath her, shoot him.

The leader sounds a lot like Daffy. He laughs like Daffy too. But I refuse to accept him as Daffy. He’s too unlikable to be Daffy. I’m going to call him Douchebag. Douchebag duck. (Besides, where is the ring around his neck? Checkmate.) He disguises himself as the Easter Bunny to come deliver some eggs to Porky. But they are duck eggs, and the hatch-lings (who aren’t naked this time) rough him up before they retreat. (Cowards.) With night falling, the ducks lay down a smoke screen, (thanks to a cigar) and try to launch a sneak attack. The smoke rises just as they are about to pounce, and they begin dancing. The hens love it, and let their guards down, allowing the ducks to start beating them up.

The ducks are really upping their game. They even have real tanks to use. They begin firing and almost get Porky. He seals the shell in his foxhole and decides to take matters into his own hands. Using a washing machine as a gun and the corn as ammo, he is able to shoot down the ducks wherever they are. Even Douchebag who tries to surprise him ends up trapped. Porky wins. (I never doubted him.) To celebrate, he gives the hens the corn they were meant to have. But Douchebag has one more trick up his sleeve. More eggs. The new ducklings bring the corn back to their (father, I guess) and they happily munch. Yeah, laugh now, you bass turds. You’re still trapped, and it just so happens that I love duck. Don’t be surprised that Douchebag Duck never made any other appearances.

Personal Rating: 4

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Wholly Smoke

“I ain’t a p-puh-puny puss!”

How bout ditching that ceegar?

 

Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by George Manuell; Animation by Robert Bentley; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938.

You know, you really shouldn’t smoke. It’s bad for you, makes you unpleasant to be around, and eats up funds you could be using for something more important. And don’t give me any of that: “It’s too addicting” crap. You don’t want to learn the hard way. My pal Porky did.

Another of the 100 greatest and my personal favorite from Tashlin.

It’s a lovely Sunday and Porky’s momma calls her offspring down. (Hilariously voiced by Ted Pierce.) She sends him off to church with a nickel for the collection plate. Why isn’t she going too? I guess she just doesn’t want her child to be an atheist like herself. On the way, Porky comes across some kid smoking a cigar. He points out that it’s bad, but the kid doesn’t take him seriously. Instead, he shows off some tricks he can do with the smoke. Making a target and hitting it with an arrow, creating a duck that flies, and kicking his cigar like a hackey sack and catching it again in his mouth. (Set to an ominous “Merry Go Round Broke Down”)

With his masculinity threatened, Porky bets the thug 5 real cents that he is just as tough. They’re children and this is the thirties; that’s some serious dough right there. The kid accepts and hands over his cigar, taking the nickel. He hasn’t won yet, but he doesn’t need to stick around really. Porky is practicing. He tries to show off some tricks with the smoke. He makes a target but hits his own behind with an arrow, creates a duck that flies and lays an egg on his face, and kicks his cigar like a hackey sack and catching the lit side in his mouth. (Set to an adorable “Merry Go Round Broke Down”.)

But all that tobacco takes its toll on poor Porky and he woozily blunders around, coming to a stop in a smoke shop. There he is spotted by some kind of smoke gremlin. He has the power to shrink Porky in size and wake him up with a snap of his fingers. He is a little shocked Porky doesn’t know who he is. All smokers know his name: Nick O’ Teen. Who is one of the scariest things Looney Tunes has to offer. With his soulless eyes, magical powers, and soft voice. (Again, brilliantly portrayed by Pierce.) Nick ties Porky up and prepares to go “Pigs is Pigs” on him. With musical accompaniment.

There are some singing matchsticks who look like they have blackface, (but you could say its debatable since they are extinguished) some literally chewing tobacco, and the three stogies. All singing a frightfully creepy version of “Mysterious Mose” about how little children shouldn’t smoke. (No one should, but they don’t want to come across as preachy.) Porky is forced into smoking more cigars, and given chewing tobacco, (which the poor guy swallows) as all the mascots come to life to scold him. (I would say it’s a nightmare version of “Foodfight”, but the original already earned that title, so this is the family friendly version by default.)

Bing Crosby and Rudy Vallee are there as some “Crooner” brand cigars. (Corona.) Cigarettes march, snuff boxes are drums, and even a pipe cleaner gets in the fun by imitating Cab Calloway. Porky does manage to get free and wakes up from this trippy… “pipe dream?” (Screw you, it’s funny) Hearing the church bell, he hurries over. Except, he still needs that nickel. He takes it back from the bully, shoves the cigar in his face and goes back to church to donate it. He vows never to smoke again. Except he did in “Rocket Squad.” And “Deduce, You Say.” And “The Awful Orphan.” And… Well, at least he never smoked a cigar again. So take it from me and Porky: Don’t smoke. Or we won’t be your friend.

Personal Rating: 4 (But if “Pigs is Pigs” never had never come out, it’d get the 5.)

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Porky’s Poppa

“Woe is me.”

The hoof that came to dinner.

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Charles Jones; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938.

Well? What about Porky’s Poppa? Well my friend, Porky’s Poppa has a farm, E,I,E,I,O. (By the way, am I the only one who thinks that’s a weird chorus?) And on that farm he has a pig, Porky. Porky tries to “Oh, boy.” whenever the song says so, but his stammer keeps him from keeping the beat and asks to be skipped. That’s fine. There’s plenty of options on this farm. A goose who honks; (Naturally and with horns) A cow who shows off her calves; (The singers even go over her part again so we can see those legs, that joke alone is probably the only reason she’s wearing a skirt.) and a duck who encourages us all to sing along. The duck quacks, the cow shows off puppets instead of calves, the goose honks and Porky has a phonograph play his part. It goes smoothly until the record starts skipping.

But all is not well on the farm. For on this farm there is a mortgage. Porky’s Poppa has no way to pay the bills, as his chief source of income (the cow, Bessie) has rather suddenly gotten the dreaded “Hoof ‘N Mouth” disease. (My uncle went the same way.) But I guess this disease doesn’t affect any other species, as Porky’s Poppa has no problems selling the cow to a hamburger factory. Needing milk, Porky’s Poppa orders a new cow. A beautiful, mechanical, cream-lined cow. With just a flick of a switch, it begins making milk. What is that milk made of exactly?

Porky prefers Bessie and tries to get her to eat. That hoof is keeping her from getting the food required to make milk, so he puts the hay on her foot, and she sticks the whole thing into her mouth. Porky gives her some space and the blessed event occurs. She gives birth to “quart-tuplets.” And a bottle of chocolate malt, but Porky pretends he never saw that. (I’m torn myself. I want to laugh at that joke, but it’s not in very good taste.) Porky goes to show his father the results. Porky’s Poppa is not too convinced as the newer model can make more than milk. It can make Cottage cheese (shaped like cottages), Limburger cheese (with built in clothespins), and Swiss cheese (that yodels). Porky won’t give up an goes to keep Bessie eating. Personally, I’m with Porky on this one. Real cows are much better than metal ones. They have more flavor…

By putting an ice cube on her head, Porky can make Bessie produce ice cream cones. The metal one can do this too, and make non-dairy based creams to boot! Shaving cream, cold cream and even vanishing cream. Bessie (who seems to have gotten over her hoof problems) tries to eat more as she’s running low on fuel. Not wanting any competition, the metal moo’er pours vanishing cream on her hay, and proceeds to take any left for itself. Oh, so that’s how it works. It’s got real cow organs inside it Bessie tries to keep up, but all too soon, they’re down to the last straw. The two lunge for it and after the crash, Porky’s Poppa declares the metal cow the winner. Luckily though, Bessie clearly made it first, as she pops out of the things mouth.

Personal Rating: 4

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Porky’s Preview

“Hi g-gang!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Virgil Ross; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1941.

Oh boy oh boy! Of all the Looney Tunes that don’t get their just recognition, this is at the top of that list. It’s the my number one pick for a short that I feel should have been on the list of the 100 greatest Looney Tunes. (Replace “Acrobattty Bunny” or “The Stupor Salesman” with this masterpiece.) It’s so funny! It’s so creative! What else can I say but, watch it while you can! I found the footage! Hurry and view it before it’s too late! You could die before you get another chance!

Did you watch it? I’m still going to talk about it, so I really hope you viewed it first. It’s magical.

Porky has a show going on that all the animals are eagerly heading into. A hen takes her eggs, a kangaroo takes the tickets. (And one guy’s arm.) He’s a male one with a pouch. This short’s only shortcoming. But I do like that “Professor Porky” Poster behind him.  And a firefly acts as an usher. A skunk would love to get in, but he can’t pay the 5 cent admission fee, as he only has one scent. (“Get it?”) As he walks off, he finds the exit. Seeing as how he read my ravings up there, he has no choice but to sneak in. (Considering he sounds just like Bugs, I can just picture him going “Ain’t I a stinker?” before heading in.) Porky gets on stage to address the audience. Even though, he’s still a boy in this short, he drew the whole cartoon by himself. (It wasn’t hard. He’s an artist.) So let’s see his magnum opus!

“PoRKy PiG’Ƨ FUNNy PictUReƧ” DRAwed by PoRKy PiG. (ARtiƧt) (7 yeaRƧ oLD) 2ND GRaDE. DRAFt No. 6 7/8 (FUNИy)

The little drawing labeled “me” always kills me. That’s the real troll face. There’s even an off key version of “The Merry go Round broke down”! After Porky’s awesome intro. We get to the StaRt of FUИNy PictUREƧ

CiRCUƧ PaRADe:  It’s a lovely day for the title. The animals include a lion, an elephant train, and a giraffe. They in turn are followed by a street sweeper.

CHoo-Choo tRAiN: (I love how he put a picture labeled “you’ up there next to his. It looks just like me!) A character drives a train and pulls the whistle to the tune of “California here I Come”. Puling back, we see that the engine stays level no matter what, and that the wheels stretch down to the tracks. And then we run out of background.

SoldiERƧ (MARcHIИ): What he said. A little soldier is continuously kicked in the rear, and when two groups of soldiers meet, they walk straight up into the sky and back down again. (Even turning gray when they do it.)

HoRƧE RAcE: (and now there’s a labeled horse too.) It’s a beautiful day for a horse race! All the horses and jockey’s are really tearing up the track. Except for that last one. That’s CRoƧBy’Ƨ HoRƧE.

DAИCEƧ: (With a picture of Porky, me and the horse too.) A hula dancer hulas. Her skirt comes down, probably giving us the first frontal nudity in a cartoon. (Porky!) A Mexican prepares to dance, but Porky keeps scribbling him out. Eventually, he manages to do a couple flips. (Before being scribbled out again.) A chorus line contains one tiny dancer amongst the others, and a ballerina stretches her legs out during a split.

GRAND FIИALE: A stick figure Al Jolson sings “September in the rain.” (The rain cloud keeps jumping back to him when its cue is heard.) Yes, there is some blackface. Get over it. Porky is just an impressionable youth who saw “The Jazz Singer”

With that, Porky’s masterpiece is complete. He goes on stage to ask how it was, but finds the audience fled when the skunk decided to sit down. (Judging by his enthusiasm though, they would have loved it just as much as me, the skunk, and you.

Personal Rating: 5 (And I think it deserves it too!)

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Wise Quacks

“I’m a poppa four times over!”

Da deuce he said?

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by I. Ellis; Story by Warren Foster; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1939.

Sorry for not posting until later in the day. Things came up, but unless otherwise noted, updates WILL happen every “Tunes-day.” And here’s some news worth celebrating: Daffy’s gonna be a father! (He’s so excited, he’s gone back to that cross-eyed design he had in “The Daffy Doc” It would be used one more time in “Porky’s Last Stand”) His wife is something else all together. Other than looking just like him, save for the pair of glasses on her bill, she sounds a lot like someone trying to imitate Donald Duck and not doing a great job at it. (At least they’re doing better than I would.) I’m calling her Daphne, seeing as how Daffy is married to a Daphne in a later short, and this duck is no Melissa.

The good news is put out in the paper. (Seems a bald eagle is also expecting an heir.) It’s spotted by Porky, who is happy for his old childhood pal. (I wish there was a short where the two of them were kids together. That would have been interesting.) I also love the reaction from the dog Porky tells the news to. A flat “Amazing.” That’s how I would react to someone I didn’t know awaiting kids. While Daffy is excited, he is also nervous and has taken to chugging large amounts of corn juice to steady his nerves. I first saw this short on Cartoon Network, and maybe they left the label off, but I swear that they changed it to maple syrup. That really made me ask questions. I may have only been five at the time, but I knew what being drunk was and I couldn’t figure out why my pancake topping of choice would effect Daffy that way.

Daphne finally gets the ducklings to hatch, by threatening to put her boiling rump on them. They emerge just in time for Porky to come witness the event. One egg has not hatched completely yet. Porky grabs it to keep the unborn from hurting itself and it hatches at last. This duckling is…special. I can’t help but just watch him uncomfortably. He nods his head when saying no, and shakes it when saying yes. He moves his neck around like he’s struggling to hold his head up. It’s a shame too, as he might be the funniest part of the short. Daphne meanwhile, has become aware of her husbands alcohol consumption. (Partly because Daffy bluntly admits it.)

The youngest during this time has just accepted a ride from a strange bird. Maybe he just is playing. Most predators don’t allow their prey to ride on their backs. Despite being up in the sky when he whispers goodbye to his mother, she hears him and begs Daffy to rescue their child. Tipsy he might be, Daffy is not a father to be messed with and catches up to the raptor. He takes his son back, but the bigger bird has friends that are happy to help and they chase Daffy.

The poor duckling is dropped (although this does lead to the best line of the short: “I’m flying.”) With Daphne too busy being hysterical, It’s up to Porky to save the day. (He does of course. Porky is amazing) The raptors chase Daffy back home and lock themselves in with him. Porky gets a club and opens the door to save his pal, but Daffy is in no danger. He’s shared his liquor with the others and they are all happily wasted.

Personal Rating: 3

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Pilgrim Porky

“Heave Ho! Heave Ho! It’s off to sea we go!”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Norman McCabe; Story by Warren Foster; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1940.

In 1620 Plymouth England, a ship called the Mayflower is all set to head out for the mystical land of America. (I hear it’s full of fat people.) Porky is the captain, because no one would dare die under his command. And so they head out with a song. Not being used to sailing, a few go to the side to empty their stomachs. To the fish, this counts as manna from heaven. An a.b.c. meal from the gods if you will.

Speaking of fish, that’s pretty much all you get to eat on this trip. The cook knows that fresh fish is the best fish, so he dives into the water to catch one. But we got an entire ship of people to feed, so the narrator dismisses his catch as too small and he goes down again. On day two, some flying fish are spotted. (And as a nice subversion on this joke, they are in planes as opposed to just flying.) But the seas are getting dangerous, and a storm rolls in. (Cleverly portrayed as lightning bolts slice a cloud open like a piece of meat) But Porky has god on his side, and they pass right through an otherwise deadly iceberg. The cook meanwhile has found a larger fish. But that still won’t be enough to feed everyone, so back down he goes.

Eventually, they see signs of civilization: the garbage in the water. (That joke will never be dated.) They have found America! It’s still relatively young too, seeing as Lady Liberty is only three years old. (What, did you think she was a gift from the French? Imbecile.) Porky meets with the chief of the Native Americans who hopes they like their land. Oh boy, will we ever! Do you mind scooting over just a few states? We have more on the way. We end with the cook finally finding a fish big enough. Seeing as how he can fit inside its mouth.

Personal Rating: 3

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Gold Diggers of ’49

“YEEOOWHOOPEE!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; (His directorial debut at this studio, in fact.) Animation by Bob Clampett and Charles Jones; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1936.

In the year that the title names, we see a town so poor they have crossed the “Gold” part out of their name, leaving the place known as Ville. But one brave youth dares to go out and dig for the stuff needed to rebuild their economy: Beans the Cat! His girlfriend, Kitty believes in him and rushes home to tell her father the news. Her father is Porky. (This is still Beans’ short, I wasn’t lying last week.) Being so early in Porky’s career, he is really fat. And his voice isn’t sped up. Also, I can’t tell if he’s wearing pants or not. His legs are a different color than his arms here. Plus there’s the fact that he is somehow Kitty’s father. (I guess he adopted?)

But let’s check in on Beans and see how he is doing, shall we? Well, he finds the stuff and alerts the whole town. Porky may love his food, but that won’t stop him from joining in the fun and he joins everyone for a day of digging. I love the cars the people had in 1849. So retro. At their digging spot, we get some pretty dang good gags. (Thank you, Avery. Never stop.) Porky finds a nugget fast, and puts it in his pocket. Reaching into the hole again, he keeps grabbing the same nugget. Beans meanwhile has found a chest. It only contains a book though, titled “How to find gold.” (Which comprises of one sentence: “Dig for it!” Brilliant!)

While everyone digs the honest way, the Billy Bletcher Bandit spies a bag of Porky’s and takes it for his own. Porky must have that bag back and promises Beans Kitty’s hand in marriage if he succeeds. Porky will stay behind and go with him in spirit. Plus, this is a great time to convince Warner Bros. that he is more star material than Beans is. (I mean…he’s too distraught to go!) Beans likes the idea and drives off after the thief. His guns don’t have much effect though, as the crook is wearing an armored butt cover. (“Also known as a “Steel Seat.”) To make matters worse, Bean’s car runs out of fuel. What’s a feline to do? Pour some firewater in the tank!

Properly juiced up, the car is now fast enough to catch up to the burglar and grab him and the bag, turning back to get Porky and heading to his home. He is true to his word and lets Beans get his hands on that puss- …actually, I’m above that joke. Beans in return gives Porky his bag of gold. Gold? Nah, Porky loves his daughter. She’s worth way more than a sack of rocks. That was his lunch bag that was stolen.

Personal Rating: 4

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Porky’s Double Trouble

“Why, you’re not Porky Pig!”

Porky’s (failed) romance.

Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Story by George Manuel; Animation by Joe D’Igalo; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1937.

A criminal has escaped from Alcarazz prison. Its a pig known as the Killer and though he is spotted, he manages to escape. His gang hides out at an abandoned girl’s school and is well aware of their boss’s big break. Just then, an attractive woman shows up claiming to have a message from Killer. The guys waste no time in letting her in. The message is this: “Don’t trust ladies.” Surprise! It was the Killer in drag all along!

He takes a peek at the paper to see his story, and finds something else interesting. Seems Porky has finally been promoted from janitor to bank teller in only 15 years! You may think this is a slow news day, but you’re wrong. Porky is the kind of guy whose birthday should be a national holiday. (What did you do on March 9th?) Killer (whose real name I will guess is Hammy Hog) notices the similarities between the two. Aside from the fact Porky shaves and that I’d be willing to date him if I was gay, they could be identical twins. Killer hatches an idea and fills the others in on it.

The bank that Porky works at meanwhile, is the “Worst National Bank.” He loves his job. The clients are nice, and Petunia the secretary keeps asking him on dates. (Don’t worry. This is the last time she looks so weird. She gets a cute makeover once Clampett takes over.) Porky is shy though, and can’t accept, opting to go have lunch instead. (Food doesn’t judge.) On the way, he sees a lady who is having car trouble. Porky is all around talented and offers to fix it up for her. She in turn kidnaps him. Surprise! It was the Killer in drag all along!

Taking Porky back to the hideout, he steals his clothes and tells of his grand plan. (Don’t freak out. He left Porky’s underwear alone. He’s not a weirdo.)  He’ll keep all the deposits, and once people figure out what is going on, Porky will be the one in trouble. Heading back to the bank, Killer gets in place and happily pockets everyone’s belongings. He even responds to Petunia with a perfect impersonation of Porky. She asks him out again, but not being as shy as Porky (or as charming, or as gentleman like, or…) he just steals a kiss from her. Petunia isn’t dumb and knows at once that this isn’t her beloved Porky. She calls the police while Killer escapes back to his hideout. (If he only kept his hormones in check, he could have kept this going at least until I visited. I don’t fall for fake Porky’s.)

The cops were following close behind though, and they find the place. Exchanging bullets, Porky’s bonds are shot and finding himself free, he begins to kick @$$. (Beating up thugs is no more difficult than fixing cars. You learn a lot from 15 years of janitorial work.) He gets to the killer just as the police and Petunia break in. The cops are not as smart as she is, and can’t tell which pig is which. (Well, to be fair, I wouldn’t think the pig in just his underwear is Porky right away either. He doesn’t do things like that) Petunia can figure it out though.

Asking one of them out, gets another shy response. Petunia however, has become a b*tch again and decides she prefers Killer. Porky proves that he can kiss just as well if not better by giving her one himself. Still preferring the other guy she opts to wait for him. Theory! Petunia’s makeover is no coincidence! Warner Bros. got a new Petunia because Porky deserves it!

Wow, my Porky fanboyism is out of control today. Maybe I should blog about Beans again next week.

Personal Rating: 3

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Scrap Happy Daffy

“What I’d give for a can of spinach now.”

Supervision by Frank Tashlin; Animation by Art Davis; Story by Don Christensen; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1943.

Another one considered to be one of the 100 greatest Looney Tunes. This was also the first cartoon Tashlin directed upon coming back to Warner Bros. after leaving Columbia Studios.

We open on Daffy climbing his giant scrap pile. He’s got plenty of American pride! (And cans whose insides change colors.) Would you like to make your own scrap pile? It’s easy! There is plenty of items you can donate to help the troops, and Daffy is happy to list them all! (Although he will take a quick break to whistle at the bathing suit model painted on his fence.) This will surely get the ire of Hitler. And it does indeed. Daffy’s pile is known the world over and Adolf is furious. He wants that pile destroyed and sends one of his subs to do so.

The sub has a secret weapon. The perfect way to get rid of metal in a cartoon: a goat. (I would like to point out how scientifically inaccurate this is, but I hope you already know it.) The goat happily chows down, but soon comes down with a case of hiccups. A patrolling Daffy hears the noise and attempts to intimidate the intruder, before realizing he’s looking at his reflection. Finding the real source of the noise, he takes pity on the ungulate and mixes him up a hiccup cure. Not long after this, he spies the swastika on the goat’s collar and realizes what it is there for. (And calling it one of the best insults I’ve ever heard: a tin termite. Brilliant.)

The goat tries to strike, but Daffy takes advantage of its moral compass by wearing glasses. (Nazi goats have limits to their cruelties) All too soon though, he loses this protection and is sent flying. He wants to give up, but the apparitions of his ancestors remind him that Americans don’t actually give up. (Did you know Lincoln was a duck? A duck that somehow grew a beard even) Filled with some new found pride, Daffy evolves into: SUPER AMERICAN! (Two references to cartoons from the Fleischer studios based on already existing characters in one Looney Tune? It must be my birthday! No wait, that’s this Sunday.)

With his new abilities, Daffy has the goat running back to the sub. The Nazis fire their cannon at him, but he punches their shots away one by one. With no other alternative, they try to escape. Daffy grabs hold of the sub’s periscope before the screen dissolves to him wrestling with a faucet back at his pile. It was nothing but a dream! However, the goat and Nazis are there too, with their sub now part of Daffy’s collection. They ask to be left out of his next dream. (Spoilsports.)

Personal Rating: 3