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Some commercials aired during “The Bugs Bunny Show”

Directed by Friz Freleng, Chuck Jones, and Bob McKimson.

#1. A promo for the show. Besides mentioning that Bugs and Daffy are in it. The only characters they mention are Oscar winners: Pepe, Tweety, Sam, Sylvester and Speedy. C’mon, where is the love for Porky? Never letting him win is why I can’t trust their opinions.(On another note, Porky still hasn’t forgiven me for showing his breakdown reel.)

Personal Rating: 2

#2. Bugs is eating Post Alpha-bits but runs out. He needs more because they are made of oats, and oats give you energy. So he blows up a balloon to hop the fence of Elmer, who shoots him down. (That’s Mel voicing Elmer. He hasn’t quite got the hang of it yet.) Bugs ends up landing in the man’s kitchen and dazes Fudd. Sending Elmer out the door, saying he’s going home, Bugs enjoys his ill gotten gains. Elmer comes back to his senses and throws Bugs out. Bugs comes back and takes the cereal. He’s going to need all their energy to escape the gunfire.

Personal Rating: 3

#3. While eating Post Alpha-bits, Bugs hears Elmer approaching. Seems someone robbed him of his bits. Disguised as a cop, Bugs hears Elmer blame him before asking him to describe the bits. Elmer describes them as only one can in a commercial. (It’s cereal…er surreal hearing a commercial mentioning their product has sugar. That won’t fly today.)

Personal Rating: 3

#4. Bugs (in disguise) hops on Elmer’s tandem bike with him. Seems Post Alpha-bits are now brown sugar frosted. (Which lets be honest, brown sugar tastes better than plain.) Bugs takes them for himself. (Somehow splitting the bike in two) and digs in. Elmer brought his gun with him though, but it doesn’t matter as Bugs ate them all. But he makes up for it and brings Fudd more. Distracted by the generosity, Elmer bikes off a cliff.

Personal Rating: 3

#5. Enough with the bits. Bugs shows off how strong he has gotten by eating Post Sugar Crisp. The whole wheat makes him invulnerable to the hammers Daffy tries to smash him with.

Personal Rating: 2

#6. Seeing Sam coming his way with Post Sugar Crisp, Bugs disguises himself as a guy at a hunting lodge. Sam tells how he is hunting Bugs because he steals Post Sugar Crisp to make him strong. Bugs demonstrates, but is kind enough to invite Sam to join him. Since he can’t beat him, Sam does.

Personal Rating: 2

#7. Sam is panning for gold. Watching from the bushes, Bugs comes out in prospector garb and tells him that Cactus Canyon has just had a gold rush. Sam leaves asking Bugs to watch his claim. Bugs was really only after his Tang. He gets it and escapes from the angry Sam.

Personal Rating: 3

#8. Bugs is running a carnival game. Shoot a duck and win Tang. (Which he mentions is orange flavor. Isn’t that the only flavor it comes in? Even a good 50 years later?) Daffy hates to hurt a potential relative but really wants the Tang. (Sound reasoning.) He misses and finds out that Bugs was hampering his chances. Being the one holding a rifle, Daffy takes over the game. Hit Bugs and win the Tang! (It’s refreshing to see Daffy win for once. So is Tang!)

Personal Rating: 4

#9. Bugs as a bartender in a saloon faces a customer. It’s Sam who demands a drink. Bugs only has Tang which Sam begrudgingly takes. He likes it! Turns out he’s a wanted criminal though. (No! Really?) He makes Bugs dance, but the rabbit uses a rope to tie him up. Sam requests just one more glass of Tang. Bugs refuses.

Personal Rating: 3

#10. Bugs is going into space as the first rabbit to land on Jupiter. Elmer launches him. It was all a ruse to keep Bugs from stealing his Tang. Removing one’s Tang supply is the best way to get even. Upon landing Bugs finds that not only is there air on Jupiter, (I mean, why else would he take the helmet off?) but the planet gets its orange color from all the Tang there. At least he won’t bother you anymore, Elmer.

Personal Rating: 3

#11. Bugs and Daffy squabble over a Post cereal 6-pack. Nothing more.

Personal Rating: 1

#12. Bugs tells of Post cereal. Nothing less. (They remembered Porky existed!)

Personal Rating: 2

(Those grades are me basing on how well I think they advertised their products.)

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You were never Duckier

“Brother, could I use 5,000 sthmackereenies!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, Ben Washam, and Lloyd Vaughan; Layourts by Robert Gribborek; Backgrounds by Peter Alvarado; Boice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1948
He craves something, but doesn’t know what this is.

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, Ben Washam, and Lloyd Vaughan; Layourts by Robert Gribborek; Backgrounds by Peter Alvarado; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1948

Daffy is at a Poultry judging. The best rooster wins $5,000, and the best duck wins $5.00. (Sorry duck farmers, but best ducks are still just food.) Daffy is angry but figures that all he has to do is disguise himself as a chicken and he’s on the road to cash. He slips on a red rubber glove as a comb (If it’s good enough for penguins…) and then grabs some cock tail. (And by that, I mean he takes the tail feathers off of one of the cockerels there, thank you very much.) His disguise complete, Daffy goes to snooze while he waits for the judging.

Up in a tree meanwhile, a little chicken hawk  is going to bed himself. His dad is reading him his favorite bedtime story, “The book with pictures of various different breeds of chickens and no words.” (I hear it’s getting a movie soon.) It’s Henery and his dad, George. For once in my blogging career I have to come up with a middle name for a character rather than a first one. His middle initial is K, so the only logical name is ‘Ketuckyfried’. Henery is just amazed at how much his dad knows about chickens. He’d love to get him one. So he heads off to the show.

Finding a sleeping Daffy, he tries to take him home for dinner. When Daffy demands an explanation, Henery tells him that he’s being taken to his dad: the greatest judge of chicken flesh. Well, Daffy wants to be judged right? He happily comes with. Once at home, he finds out the name of his would be judge: George K. (entuckyfried) Chickenhawk. (Red-tailed, that is.) In a refreshing twist, Daffy doesn’t do the ‘ole “repeat the name and then realize what’s been said. He immdiately realizes that he’s pretty much a goner. While George prepares the pot, Daffy tries to prove that he is really a duck. I don’t care which answer is right. Both are tasty.

But giving a swimming demonstration doesn’t cut it, and he can’t get his disguise off. When he tries to just flee, George grabs hold of his “comb” and when it snaps back, George now has it on. So you can’t really blame Henery for accidentally hitting his old man with a hammer in the ensuing chase. Daffy leaves and remembers that he still has a contest to win. Donning a new glove he gets to the podium with dollar signs in his eyes. But he loses to George of all birds. (Still wearing the comb.) Well, 5.00 is five bucks and Daffy strips down to try and win something. (With cent signs in his eyes.) He loses once more, this time to Henery in duck disguise.

Personal Rating: 3

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Hollywood Daffy

“The sthity of the sthinema at lastht!”

A cop isn’t just beer and skittles, you know.

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Gerry Chiniquy, and Manuel Perez; Layouts and Backgrounds by Hawley Pratt and Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1945

Well folks, a new job is going to make it difficult for me to post on Wednesdays anymore. So the only logical thing to do is move to Mondays. (Which my previous job prevented me from doing.)

Our story today takes place in Hollywood. (Naturally) There are plenty of wolves here as it’s a perfect environment for them. Plenty of hot babes, nice climate, and delicious toons to eat. Daffy has just arrived and much like his Disney counterpart did in “The Autograph Hound”, wants to see some celebrities. Despite the fact there are plenty of signs saying he can’t, he waltzes into the studio anyway. He is thrown out by a studio guard dressed like a klassic keystone kop (Or a kkk member for short.) Considering Daffy is a black duck, that could be part of the reason why Rolly, there (that’s what I’m calling him) refuses to let him in.

The chubby cop (portrayed hysterically by Mel) may be fat enough to snack on two popsicles at once, but he isn’t an idiot. He does his job well. (You know Daffy’s apprentice, Plucky, would also have a hard time getting past Ralph the guard in Tiny Toons to get in the studio years later.)Daffy tries various disguises. Charlie Chaplin, Jimmy Durante, and Bing Crosby don’t get him in. But he is able to slip by as an Oscar. Even though Rolly can’t tell what he’s supposed to be, he does have a button that is to be pressed when gatecrashers disguised as Oscars come in. His disguise revealed, Daffy flees into the lot.

He pretends to be a tour guide and shows Rolly some of the stars dressing rooms. Abbot and Costello’s are fat and skinny, and Durante’s has extra space for his nose. He even shows off the studio guard and shows that his head is so thick, you can repeatedly hit it with a stick and he won’t feel anything. (Physically; mentally he will feel angry.) He chases once more as they run past Jack Benny trying and failing to get an Oscar out of a claw machine. “I’ll never get one of those.” And he didn’t. (A regular Nostradamus.)

Daffy pretends to be a director and flatters Rolly into being in his film. He gets him to jump off a cliff. The chase continues (and Daffy is saying his trademark laugh, strangely quietly) and the cop tries to stop him with a painted backdrop of a path. (Daffy runs into it, and Rolly runs through it.) The duck thinks he’s finally rid of him, but Rolly grabs him anyway. Daffy says that he is not leaving because he wants to see stars. Rolly asks why he didn’t say so. He can show him stars. He beats him on the head and tosses him out. But Daffy is happy. He’s seeing more stars than Carl Sagan ever did.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Up-standing Sitter

“I’ll face the world alone!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Phil DeLara, Manny Gould, John Carey, and Charles McKimson; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1947
That’s, ah say, that’s no sitter.

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Phil DeLara, Manny Gould, John Carey, and Charles McKimson; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1947.

Daffy works for a babysitting service. (Are those still around?) Not only that, but apparently he’s the best sitter the place has. He has just gotten a job and heads off. As he goes, he sings about how this job is full of abuse but he puts up with it as the pay is pretty good. He arrives at his location. The mother is a hen and she wants Daffy to keep watch over her unborn child. (With birds, the term babysitter is literal.) He sits and the chick almost immediately hatches. That’s gotta hurt. Not having your mom around to witness your birth. (You and Dr. Doofenshmirtz are kindred spirits kid.)

He tries to guess Daffy’s relation to him, but runs out of relatives and deduces that Daffy is a stranger. Since kids shouldn’t talk to those, he runs off. Sitter or not, Daffy is technically still a stranger. (He’s plenty strange.) I don’t know what this kid’s problem is, but he now goes out of his way to make Daffy suffer. He hides in the mouth of a bulldog named Spike. (Bulldogs are always named Spike. It’s an unspoken rule.) He leaps out as Daffy reaches into the beast and it wakes up. He won’t let go of Daffy’s arm/wing, until he’s backed him up a ladder and off the barn’s roof. The chick (who needs a name. How about Spencer?) finds another hen and goes under. Daffy reaches once more only for the hen to spot him. Trying to play it cool, Daffy pretends he was miming a train the whole time. (Don’t you hate being in those situations?)

Spencer hops out before Daffy spots him and comes back for more hen groping in a barrel disguise. She puts a TNT stick under a feather duster for him to find. Spencer meanwhile has now run onto a wire high above the farm. Daffy tries to tightrope walk over but the chick blows him away. (Rooster’s are known to have really strong lungs, regardless of age.) A slingshot launches him into the side of the barn, and a rocket ends up taking him on a ride that ends up crashing into Spikes house. After it explodes, the dog spanks Daffy with what’s left of his domicile. Spencer gives Daffy a phone, and he calls his employers. A sitter he may be, but he’ll be standing from now on.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Super Snooper

“What’s on your mind? Besides your hat?”

Oh, so he’s working THAT side of the street.

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Herman Cohen, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Charles Mckimson; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952

In this short, Daffy is Duck Drake. Which is like if my name was human man. (Why does that actually sound cool?) He’s a private eye, ear, nose, and throat. And he could really use a new case. His old one is full of empty bottles. (I hope you enjoy puns. There’s a lot of them here.) Good luck for him! A phone call informs him that there has been a murder at the J. Cleaver Axehandle Estate. And they are willing to give up plenty of cash. Which they prove they have by sending it through the phone. (Even bus fare.)

Daffy (literally) hops out of the building and heads off. Upon arriving he starts interrogating the butler, before stopping to admit it’s never the butler and follows him inside. (Doing the classic “walk this way” gag.) He demands to see the body, and boy does he get it. The woman claiming to be the body is a combination of Melissa from “The Scarlet Pumpernickel,” and Jessica Rabbit. She has the hots for Daffy, who doesn’t let hormones get in the way of business. (I’m impressed.) She also claims to be innocent. Daffy can’t believe it, she has guilt written all over her face. (Nothing a little make-up can’t cover.)

He begins his accusations of her shooting her husband with her playing her part. Could she have grabbed a handgun from her handbag and shot him? (The demonstration leaves Daffy’s bill full of holes.) Or maybe she took the rifle off the wall and killed him that way? (Possibly. She has quite the aim as she proves in her Daffy themed shooting gallery.) Perhaps it was the ole’ dropping a piano on his head? (Has anyone ever been offed this way?) Or the extremely over complicated rerouting the train tracks to the front door scenario? (A classic.)

Nope and nope. As she stated, there was no murder here. Daffy has gotten the wrong location! But she is guilty. Guilty of being head over heels for Daffy. Seeing her pupils have turned into ball n’ chains, Daffy bolts. Melessica takes off after him, the silhouettes they make crashing through the door form a couple walking down the aisle. Isn’t it romantic?

Personal Rating: 3

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The Abominable Snow Rabbit

“I AIN’T NO BUNNY RABBIT!”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Co-Directed by Maurice Noble; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Harris, Richard Thompson, Bob Bransford, and Tom Ray; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard. Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. Released in 1961

On a snowy mountain, we see an all too familiar burrow move through the frosty ground. It’s Bugs, en route to Palm Springs. Daffy is along for the trip and heads off to go for a dip before Bugs can warn him that things aren’t quite right. Daffy ends up diving into a frozen pond. (Ouch.) After consulting a map, Bugs finds they have ended up in the Himalayas. (Which Daffy corrects his pronunciation of. I like that Daffy has at least one thing he can do better.) Upset that Bugs got them sidetracked in Asia, Daffy heads off on his own without Bugs.

It’s not long before he bumps into a yeti. This is Hugo. (Although he wouldn’t get his name until the TV special “Bug’s Bunny’s Bustin out all over’s” “Spaced out Bunny.”) There’s no need to panic though, this yeti isn’t going to eat Daffy. (Although that might be the preferred option.) He mistakes Daffy for a bunny rabbit, and names him George. (Daffy had been keeping his arms inside his bathing suit to conserve heat, leaving the sleeves looking a bit like long ears.) When Daffy points out they are sleeves and not ears, Hugo spanks him for lying. (They call that tough love.) But the duck offers up the whereabouts of a real rabbit.

Calling Bugs over allows the duck to escape, while the yeti happily cuddles his new George. (Daffy acknowledges the fact he’s a jerk, but at least he’s alive.) Hugo then decides to sit on Bugs much like a mother hen. (oooooooooooooookayyyyyyy…) Seeing his opportunity, Bugs burrows out and goes to get Daffy back. (Who I must point out is saying some great lines that I use frequently myself. “I’m not like other people. I can’t stand pain. It hurts me.” I relate!) Bugs claims Daffy is a rabbit. Daffy has a good idea; he asks the creature what makes a rabbit look like a rabbit. Long ears naturally. (Although now, I want to see a rabbit with dog ears or something.) Bugs ties his ears down and does the ‘ole two fingers behind another’s head routine. Daffy is chosen as Bugs escapes.

Hugo is happy that he has a rabbit at last. Covered in lovely black feathers and a strong bill…wait…No mammals have feathers! Even a simple minded creature knows that! Daffy points out the retreating rabbit and Hugo chases after him. (Daffy following because he wants to see Bugs get hurt.) Later at Palm Springs, an overheated Hugo tells a stranger of his lost love. (Bugs in disguise) Seeing Daffy coming up, Bugs slips a rabbit hood (Not the short from 1949.) on his head. Hugo excitedly grabs his new pet. Alas, it’s not meant to last. For as abominable as he may be, he can’t hide the fact that he is a snowman, and he melts.

Personal Rating: 4

And a toast to an old friend of mine. I’ll never forget the animation she made of the two of us synced up to this short’s dialogue. The best Looney Tunes gift I ever received. I’m sorry I can’t show you the proof. It’s lost to time by this point.

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The Stupor Salesman

“Thith guyth gonna be a tough nut to crack.”

Directed by Arthur Davis; Story by Lloyd Turner, William Scott; Animation by J.C. Melendez, Don Williams, Emery Hawkins, and Basil Davidovich; Layouts by Don Smith; Backgrounds by Phlip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1948

Here’s another entry on the list of “The One-hundred Greatest Looney Tunes.”

The last national bank is robbed one night. Not in the traditional “This is a stick-up” sense. This had some thought put into it. The criminal blows up the vault and makes off. The police have identified this villain as Slug McSlug. (Who is not actually a slug) He’s not too bad of a mastermind either, seeing as he paints his Sedan just after the cops identify its color. (I’m guessing they couldn’t get his license plate number.) Driving away from it all, McSlug hides out in a cabin. (I don’t know if it’s his or not, but is that really the question here?)

He covered his tracks well, but the cops still pull up right outside. But they’re not stopping. They are just dropping somebody off. Daffy, to be precise. What McSlug doesn’t lack in brains, he makes up for with his lousy shooting. He can’t hit the constantly moving towards him target. (Daffy mistakes the bullets for mosquitoes.) When he finally reaches the door, we find out that he’s merely a (stupor) salesman. And he’s not taking “not interested” for an answer. He demonstrates some of his wares: gun polish that makes McSlug’s gun so shiny it melts, a mini helicopter that breaks through the roof, and an elevator that crashes through the floor.

Daffy refuses to leave until Slug buys something. Surely there must be something he wants/needs? Well, he could do with some brass knuckles. Daffy has those. (What hasn’t he got?) Slug tries to test them, but they break upon the iron Daffy holds to protect himself. Slug tries firing his gun at him again, but quickly runs out of bullets. Being the stand-up guy he is, Daffy offers him a free sample of bullets. When fired at again, it’s revealed that he was also demonstrating his bullet proof vest.

He also has a lighter that he wants to show off. He turns on the oven and attempts to demonstrate. The darn thing doesn’t seem to work and if that wasn’t enough, Slug loses his patience and tosses the duck out. Once alone, he tries the lighter himself. What compels him to do that? Does he just want to prove he can make it work? Did he actually need a lighter? Does he have some weird kind of fire fetish that he can’t indulge in until he’s alone? But the oven has been on the whole time and the cabin is full of flammable gas. He gets it to work just as Daffy is coming back for another round. He’s finally got something to sell that Slug needs: A house to go with his remaining doorknob.

Personal Rating: 3

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Stupor Duck

“Wouldn’t you think they could find sthome other place to put a building?”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, George Grandpre, Russ Dyson, and Keith Darling; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. Released in 1956

So, the new Batman vs Superman movie has come out, and everyone seems to hate it. (I’m not going to see it. Animation is my forte.) I’m sure we can all agree that this cartoon is a better take on Superman than a film that came out 60 years later.

Daffy is Stupor Duck is Cluck Trent. He may look like a mild mannered mallard, but he’s faster than a speeding pop gun! More powerful than a locomotive on life support! And able to leap over buildings while only getting his cape caught on a flagpole in a single bound! (The building in question is called “McKimson associates”) When in his secret identity, Cluck works at a newspaper office. While he takes a quick break to ingest some mild pills, he overhears a voice coming from the managing editor’s office. It sounds like a Russian terrorist! (That was just the time period it was folks. I don’t mean to offend.)

The voice claims he is Aardvark Ratnik and that he will blow up everything he darn well pleases. Not if Stupor Duck has any say in it! Daffy leaves to go get in his costume. (Shame. I was enjoying those glasses) While he’s away, he misses the part where the editor turns off the TV, wondering why he bothers watching such soap operas. I never question watching all the cartoons I do. Enjoy your pleasures! Stupor Duck comes in and assumes that Ratnik escaped though the window. He “follows” and smacks into a skyscraper.

While he searches, he sees a building toppling over. He zooms down to save it. Whoops, it was being demolished. The foreman punches him. (Would that really hurt? If you’re strong enough to hold up a building, wouldn’t a punch not even faze you?) Over the ocean he sees a ship sinking! It really is! But then, submarines were designed to do that, weren’t they? Stupor Duck gets a torpedo for his troubles. The next crisis is surely Aardvark’s work! Some dynamite planted underneath a railroad track. Stupor Duck grabs the explosive and flies off, unaware that this is all part of a Warner Bros. movie. The man who didn’t see the superhero, has a great reaction to the feathers that are drifting down to him.

Continuing on his way, Stupor Duck finds what appears to be a giant missile! It’s Ratnik for sure this time! Or rather it’s an experimental rocket that Stupor Duck seems to get stuck on. It blasts off. Look! In the Sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it actually is a bird! It’s Stupor Duck!…En route to the moon. Good thing he can fly.

Personal Rating: 3

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Oily Hare

“No doggone, long-eared rabbits’ a’gonna stop me from dynamiting no oil drillin’ hole!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, and Herman Cohen; Layouts by Peter Alvarado; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1952

This short takes place in Texas. In the future I’m guessing. (Dallas had been renamed to Dalla$) Bugs is residing in Deepinahola, Texas. (Just a little bit past Deepinaharta) He enjoys his life. Outside a very long car drives by. “How long is it?” It’s so long, that not only does the passenger need a phone to call the driver, but it’s a long distance call! This guy is pretty much McKimson’s Yosemite Sam. Since he’s not given a name, I’ll give him an extremely clever and original one. Nah, I’ll just call him Tex.

His driver does have a name, Maverick. And I may sound weird but Maverick is kinda adorable. With his hat that covers his face, a shirt that covers his entire body and the fact he doesn’t talk… I dunno. I just want a plush toy of him. Back to our story: Tex is angered to see that one of the holes on his property is not gushing oil. He and Maverick start setting up an oil derrick, when Bugs pops up to see what’s going on. Despite his claims that the hole is his home and lacks fossil fuels, Tex still continues his work. He sets some dynamite into the hole as well, to keep Bugs away.

Happy to find “party decorations”, Bugs makes a cake and decorates it with the “candles.” Sending it back up. Tex is surprised that someone remembered his birthday was today. Especially because it’s not. (Speaking of birthdays, I have one.) Bugs urges him to make a wish. My wish is that we got to hear what he was going to wish for. All we know is that it’s not money. (He’s got plenty of that.) After the explosion, he tries to just shoot Bugs. The rabbit puts up a funnel and some pipe that lead the bullets back to Tex’s rear. Time for some grunt work.

He orders Maverick to go get Bugs, but the silent cutie comes back empty handed. Tex goes in himself and asks for plenty of TNT. Guess what? Bugs stole Maverick’s clothes and hands him sticks upon sticks of explosives. (Tex doesn’t seem to realize that there is a Maverick in the hole and out of the hole) Soon, there’s so much dynamite that the earth is near bursting at the seams! Bugs is pretty cool with the destruction of his home and all worldly possessions, since he tells Tex where his lighter is.

After another explosion, we see that Bug’s hole was not on top of an oil gusher; but instead a carrot one. Catching our disbelieving looks, he reminds us that anything is possible in Texas. (There you go. Toontown and Texas. The only two places on the planet where anything can and will happen.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Transylvania 6-5000

“Rest is good for the blood.”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Co-Director: Maurice Noble; Story by John Dunn; Animation by Bob Bransford, Tom Ray, Ken Harris, and Richard Thompson; Layouts by Bob Givens; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc, Ben Frommer, and Julie Bennet; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. Released in 1963.

A pretty late entry for Bugs, and the last time he’d be directed by Chuck Jones. (In the golden age at least.) Said bunny is burrowing through what he thinks is Pennsylvania. Obviously enough; by the title we can tell he’s on the other side of the world. (Tough luck on his part. Vampire pencils aren’t nearly as dangerous as humanoid ones.) He pops up and asks directions from someone who I think is the most unusual specimen (and that’s saying a lot) of all Looney Tunes. This is Agatha and Emily. (Voiced by Julie Bennet. Who was well known for voicing Cindy Bear.) They are a two-headed vulture. Okay.

They don’t really have much of a point in this short. They don’t even help Bugs, they just go on talking about eating him I think. (They talk like he’s not even in front of them.) Bugs opts to go ask for help at a building he mistakes for an motel. They don’t even follow him. But they’ll be back. (Seriously, why two headed?) It’s really a castle he’s found and the sole occupant is one by the name of Count Bloodcount. (Nice name, but a little redundant don’t you think, nice name?) I like how his pupils can travel in between his eyes. I bet that’s useful. He welcomes Bugs in. (He’s voiced by Ben Frommer, who you might remember as the Hitchcockian narrator in “The Last Hungry Cat.”) It’s a nice place. Complete with piano from “Super Mario 64”, pictures of his relatives, (bats) and even a photo of that time when he was a leader of some Ghoul Scouts. (I hear they sell great cookies.)

Despite Bug’s clearly stating that he just wants a telephone, the Count shepherds him into a room saying he can do that tomorrow. Bugs eventually agrees and tries to get some sleep. But it’s no use, he just can’t fall asleep in an unfamiliar bed. (I’ve been there.) He decides to try some reading; selecting a book that contains magic spells. He doesn’t notice the vampire just behind him. (Who doesn’t really have teeth, just teeth shaped lips. Just like Hassan. Mr. Jones, what is going on?) Apparently “Abracadabra” is indeed a magic phrase. (Even though Bugs says it as “Abacadabra” Close enough I suppose.)

The word changes the vampire into his bat form, which Bugs mistakes for a mosquito and swats. The dazed bat flies out of the window to escape, but Bugs tries another phrase: “Hocus Pocus.” This turns him back to normal and he plummets into the moat. Bugs goes for a walk and the Count reveals his true self. Using his new tricks, Bugs turns himself into an umpire. Not wanting to be one-upped (I think that’s the reason) Bloodcount turns into a bat. Bugs does too. A baseball bat. And he has no qualms about hitting a bat wearing glasses. The count slips under a stone and changes back to human shape. Now he has a weapon to crush Bugs with- Bugs turns him back into a bat and he is crushed. This goes on for a few more times. (At one point, the Count looks angry until he reverts to full height, at which point he just looks dizzy. Repeated crushings can’t be healthy for someone who can’t even be killed that way.)

Bugs then switches things up and trys out “Abakapocus.” This turns the count into a vampire with a bat’s head. Turning it around and saying “Hocuskadabra” makes him a head with Bat wings. And Newport News, (wait, that’s magical too?) Turns him into Witch Hazel. (Nice cameo. And that counts as an appearance. So she makes my five appearances rule.) And it turns out Walla walla is also magical. (That must be a fun place to live.) This turns the count into… a two headed vulture. (What is wrong with one head?) Remember the female one/s? Bugs calls them over and it’s love at first sight. For the girls. The count/s is terrified (and I guess speechless now) and takes off with the lovebird/s in tow. (Ugh. It’s confusing.)

Bugs meanwhile, has finally found a phone. He calls for his travel agent and hums the song “It’s magic” to himself. Only he puts one of those magic phrases into it. And since there’s no one there but him, the magic turns his ears into wings. Seeing as he’s a mammal, he gets mammal wings. And seeing as how the mammal that can fly is a bat, he gets that model. He’s not bothered though. He tells the operator to cancel his call and flies home instead. (He’s also deaf now.)

Personal Rating: 3