Category: Merrie Melodies

Cartoons that were labeled as such.

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To Beep or not to Beep

“Western Cookery”

Directed by Chuck Jones

A pretty late entry in the Roadrunner/Coyote series. (And the only one scored by Bill Lava.) The Coyote is looking at a cookbook and licking his chops at the thought of a Roadrunner dinner. His prey peeks at the book and also licks his li… beak. He “Beeps” the Coyote into a cliff. On to the gags!

Wile E sets up a snare, but misses and while pulling back on nothing, falls off a cliff. The rope grabs a rock and he ties it around his waist to be safe. He still hits the ground and then the rock lands on his head.  Then he just begins to chase. The Roadrunner puts on a burst of speed which uproots some cacti and makes a bridge recoil. The coyote falls and one of the cacti lands on him. He then attaches himself to a spring attached to a rock, in order to launch himself. The rock itself springs backwards and off a cliff. He holds on, and the rock recoils and he lands on a makeshift teeter-totter which then launches him again and he ends up trapped in between a narrow space. He unstraps himself and hits the ground. (Interestingly enough, Jones wanted to do a whole short based on this one gag.)

After failing with a wrecking ball, we get to the main gag of this short: a catapult that refuses to work. After five tries of launching a rock (and getting smashed by it) Wile E. pulls the string from inside a manhole. Nothing happens. He cautiously does more and more to the device but nothing happens. Not until he’s jumping on the rock does it finally launch. He realizes this a little too late and goes through a cliff face, lands in some telephone wires, gets launched back to the catapult, flung to the ground, and crushed under the rock. Why was it so faulty? We zoom in and see where it came from: The Roadrunner manufacturing Company.

Personal Rating: 3

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Gonzales’ Tamales

“All the pretty girls in love with Speedy Gonzales. What’s left are chihuahuas.”

Directed by Friz Freleng

In Mexico, two mice named Pedro and Manuel are chatting. They’d like to go out and have fun with the ladies but they only have eyes for Speedy. Even the few who are willing to give the men a chance are seduced by Speedy. (Which I have to say is a dick move. Can’t he let the others have some fun? Some of us can’t afford to lose anymore self esteem.) So yeah, Speedy’s the villain in this short.

They hold a meeting to discuss what to do, and eventually decide that they will get the “greengo poosycat” to chase Speedy out of town. (Or just keep him busy.) They send a phony threat to Sylvester that proclaims Speedy will tear his tail out. Livid, Sylvester goes and dares him to do it. Speedy easily accomplishes the task, and Sylvester declares war. He ties to lure him with cheese. (Speedy is well aware of the lure.) Using his speed, Speedy easily gets the (surprisingly shrunk) cheese. Sylvester tries a gun, and Speedy dismantles it piece by piece, leaving a bullet in midair. Shocked, Sylvester pulls the “trigger” and it blows up in his face.

After losing a game of “Hot Potato: Grenade Edition!”, he sends in a wind-up female mouse. Speedy apparently buys it, as when Sylvester comes out chasing, Speedy takes “her” with him. He hides behind a box of chili peppers and tells Sylvester he’s hiding in one of them. Sylvester (rather moronically) buys this story and begins to eat. They are extremely spicy but he’s able to chug some water to keep cool. (Hey, in 1957, they probably didn’t know water does nothing to help.) The second time he tries it, he finds that Speedy switched the water with tobacco sauce. Sylvester launches into the air and we see P. and M. again. (I guess they’re done with the girls. Or they never tried. Maybe they never went to the meeting?) They don’t seem too surprised to see the “gringo poosycat” flying by.

Personal Rating: 3

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Walky Talky Hawky

“I’m a chickenhawk. I’m after my first chicken.”

Directed by Robert McKimson.

We start off at the home of three hawks. (The father of which, happens to read Looney Tune comics. My kind of reading buddy!) Their child is named Henrey and he tells his father that he craves something, but has no clue what. His father decides its time they had a talk. (“Okay pop. Whadyya wanna know?” Love that.) Dad tells him that he is a chicken hawk. And as such, he will crave chicken and everyone will hate and shun him for just being himself. Heavy.

All Henrey takes from this is what food he wants. So he heads off to a nearby farm. There we have the first appearance of Foghorn, who actually is minding his own business, when the first appearance of the Barnyard Dog shoves a watermelon on his head. Foggy can’t be one upped like this, so he paddles the dog with a board, and taunts him at the edge of his rope. (Foghorn sounds more like Yosemite Sam than anyone else in this picture. Give him time.)

Seeing Henrey, he asks what the kid is doing. After learning, Foghorn also tells him that he is a horse and the dog is a chicken. Henrey goes over and takes a bite. The dog chases him before his rope pulls him back. (Foghorn gleefully hits his head to win a croquet game.) He tells Henrey to go back and fight. Predators should not fear prey. (I could discuss that this is not entirely true…) Henrey proves to be very strong for his size and carries the doghouse away. B.D. catches on fairly quickly and gives chase again. And gets choked again. (Foghorn puts a helmet on him, and hits him with a hammer.)

He and Henrey decide to use a complex plan. Henrey sets it up and draws a doorbell on the house to ring with. When B.D. comes out he hears Henrey playing the piano and dances over. Henrey smacks him with a pan. Dazed, the dog stumbles onto a banana peel, which sends him onto a spring, which bounces him onto a skate, which Henrey begins to roll away. B.D. aks what he wants and after hearing of Foghorn’s lies explains that Foghorn is the chicken. Dog and rooster argue and Henrey sees this is going nowhere fast. He releases the dog who in turn pummels the rooster. Their tussle takes them into a stable where a real horse throws them out. They form a truce and go fight the equine. Henrey goes in and drags all three home with him. Figuring that at least one of them has to be a chicken.

Personal Rating: 4

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An Itch in Time

♪”Oh there’s food around the corner, food around the corner, food around the corner for me, (hallelujah brother.) food arund the corner, food around the corner, food around the corner for meee!”♪

Directed by Bob Clampett

Sorry for lack of update last week. (To the two people who visit this place, I was just on a family trip.)

Been awhile since we had a good old screwy Clampett short, eh? In Elmer’s home, Fudd is happily reading Looney Tunes comics. His dog (Willoughby) at his feet. (Or at least a very similar looking dog) Also in this house is a flea. (which some signs point out for us) His name is A. Flea. (A for amusing?) He’s excited because he’s found himself a feast of the grandest proportions: Dog Butt. He hurries over, makes sure the dog is asleep and goes to work. (Singing a song, that I DARE you to get out of your head.)

He gets some salt, ketchup, mustard and bread and puts it around some dog dermis. A bite causes the dog to yelp in pain and try to get the flea, but he only ends up biting himself. Elmer pours flea powder on him, (which A. treats as snow) and warns him that if he scratches once more, its a bath! The dog swears to not scratch. Which is near impossible with A. mining his meat. Elmer is keeping a close eye on him, and Willoughby turns different colors trying to stay strong. He kicks the cat (which A. didn’t want for some reason) who scratches for him. A glare from Elmer makes them both shrink into little masses.

A. sets off some explosives and the dog can’t take it anymore and he scoots around on the floor. (“Hey, I better cut this out. I may get to like it.”) Elmer comes to make good word of his promise, but A. moves onto him. (For the record: fleas rarely bite people, and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t if there were two pets in the house.) Willoughby gleefully takes his master to the tub, and slips on a bar of soap landing them both in the water. A. puts them on a “blue plate special” and carries them off. (To eat I presume. If the cat wasn’t still there, I’d complain that parasites don’t try to kill their hosts as it destroys their home as well) Having seen all this, the Cat shoots himself.

This scene is of course censored today, because some people thought it’d be a bright idea to kill themselves. As such, everyone is too afraid to laugh at this. If you play it for laughs, (like here) it is FUNNY. I only care so much, because lets say you watch stuff like this all the time and make a suicide joke. Not aware that people’s sensibilities have changed, and now it makes you look like the evil one. Rant over.

Personal Rating: 4

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Rabbit Punch

“Hey, ya big palooka! Why don’tcha pick on somebody your own size?”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

Unlike “Bunny Hugged” which was about wrestling, this earlier short was about boxing. It’s the first appearance of the Crusher. (Although here he’s called “Battling Mcgook”) He is pounding his opponent with no effort whatsoever. However, watching from the edge of the stadium, (which was built outdoors, is that smart?) is Bugs, who objects to the cheers and demands “Mcgook” pick another fight.

The man chooses Bugs, and throws him into the ring. They both show off their muscles. Mcgook is so strong he has muscles on his muscles. Bugs has two tiny bumps for biceps. (For the record though, that’s way better than mine.) The champ punches Bugs around until Bugs gets one in by “fainting” his opponent. Next, the champ builds a brick wall around his fist and really knocks him one. Bugs grabs the microphone from the announcer and begins narrating his own idea of how the fight is going. Mcgook follows his lines exactly.

Later, they decide to wrestle (I guess) as they throw off their gloves. (Bugs was hiding horseshoes. Clever b*stard.) The champ… screw it, I’m calling him Crusher, easily puts him in a leghold. Bugs breaks a board and Crusher thinks he broke his leg. Bugs disguises himself as a doctor and wraps him up tight in bandages. During round 31, crusher pours grease in Bug’s resin. Bugs uses this to his advantage and skate/boxes. During round 48 Bugs gives Crusher some exploding popcorn. During round 73, he has Crusher hold a slingshot and fires something at his face. During round 98, (how long do these usually last?) Crusher and Bugs both launch themselves towards each other, in a cannon and bow respectively.

Finally, during round 110 Crusher has Bugs tied to railroad tracks and prepares to run a train over him. (He should wear that conductor outfit more.) Bugs seems to have run out of tricks as the train gets closer and closer and all he can do is sweat. Then the film breaks. Bugs comes out to apologize and (while holding scissors) mention that the film didn’t EXACTLY break.

Personal Rating: 3

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No Barking

“Rr-Ar-ar-arar-ar-ar-ar!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

It’s sunrise at a beautiful landscape. (Or it’s a dump. Good trickery.) Claude Cat wakes up and whistles with a bluebird. Then he eats it. (If that’s too dark for you, two more birds drop a brick on him and eject their friend.) With that breakfast ruined, Claude sets his sights on a bone that a puppy has just buried. This is Frisky. I’m not giving him his own post, because he doesn’t fit my five appearance rule. Basically he’s a puppy, he’s frisky, and he sorta looks like Charlie, just with a shorter more dog like body, and longer ears.

As soon as Claude goes for the goods Frisky barks and sends the cat jumping out of fright. He gets tortured like this all through the picture. (At one point he does the run leaving things floating in midair gag. Just like Jones had done with Witch Hazel and the bull. Theirs being bobby pins and hooves,m Claude’s is paw prints.) Claude chases Frisky into a pipe but the dog’s bark has him jump and land out of the sewer. (The manhole lands on him.) After some typical puppy activities, (barking at a mirror, scratching, tugging on a rope) Frisky barks again and scares Claude into jumping in some lumber. Claude gives up trying to get even, and goes back to his hunting.

He hunts a bird which turns out to be Tweety. (A Freleng character in a Jones short? Freleng did something similar with a Jones character in “Dog Pounded”.) Frisky barks again and now Claude’s had enough. He stuffs a sock to make a decoy tail and Frisky goes for the bait. Claude grabs him, ties him up and gags him. Walking off he gets barked at by a bulldog, (I’ll just assume it’s Marc Antony) and jumps up onto a plane. Tweety watches as it flies off into the sunset.

Personal Rating: 3

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Birds Anonymous

“If you really want to beat this, look us up. We can help you.”

Directed by Friz Freleng

It’s another Oscar Winner! It’s the third time Sylvester’s been in one of those! This was Blanc’s favorite short he did voices for! (And if my research is correct, it was originally supposed to be called “Tweety-Totaler”. A more clever title, but a bit harder to take seriously.)

Inside a house, Sylvester carefully closes all the window blinds so there are no witnesses for what’s about to happen. He grabs Tweety quite easily. (Granny’s not in this short. Neither are any guard dogs.) He doesn’t eat him, as another cat (who would later be named Clarence) warns of the perils. Apparently, Birds are a cats alcohol and they have a group that can help break the habit. Sylvester attends a meeting and vows to do the same.

He returns home and cheerfully greets Tweety with a friendly pat on the head. (“Deaw Diawy, I know you won’t bewieve this but…”) Sylvester turns on the television. Surprise! It’s a cooking show describing how to make delicious poultry. (It never specifies WHAT bird it is. It could be a hoatzin.) Sylvester fights his urges and tries the radio. Of course, it’s only playing alliterative avian albums. (“Bye Bye Blackbird”, “Red Red Robin”, No, Hungry Hungry Heorn, unfortunately.)

He handcuffs himself to a radiator, (why were those cuffs in the kitchen?) but manages to break free after Tweety asks if he likes him anymore. Clarence arrives to shoot a plunger in his face. (“I was afraid you might be weakening.”) At night, Sylvester can’t sleep and runs to Tweety, planning to quit after just one more. Clarence pours alum into his mouth, thus making it impossible for him to shove Tweety in.. He breaks down, and Clarence tells him that it’s really easy to get along with your prey. He kisses Tweety and manages to get a taste of him as well. Clarence is now trying to eat the canary while Sylvester tries to stop him.

Personal Rating: 5 (For Mel’s godly voice acting.)

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Falling Hare

“Hey, I bet that was… say, do you think that… hey, could thata been a… gremlin?”

Directed by Robert Clampett

Originally, this short was to be called “Bugs Bunny and the gremlin” but Disney told them to stop, as they were making a film called “The Gremlins” based on a book by the amazing Roald Dahl and they alone had the naming rights. That never happened. At least the gremlins would appear in Epic Mickey. What am I doing? As I was saying…

At a U.S. army air field, Bugs is reading atop a bomb. He laughs at the thought of gremlins and their “die-a-bull-icall sab-o-tay-gee.” The bomb he is on starts shaking and Bugs looks at the source. It’s a tiny creature trying to set off the bomb Bugs is on. Bugs suggests he give it a try and only stops at the last moment. Bugs realizes that was a gremlin and gives chase. The gremlin hits him over the head with a mallet and leads him onto one of the planes. While Bugs is searching for him, he starts the plane up. He taunts Bug’s from behind a door (with an unbelievably funny laugh) and Bugs charges time and time again to get at him.

The gremlin opens the door eventually and Bugs runs out of the plane. (Briefly becoming a jack@$$.) He hurries back to the plane and slips out the other door thanks to the banana peels the gremlin left for him. Bug’s manages to stay in the plane, but the gremlin is now trying to crash into some skyscrapers. Bugs narrowly avoids a collision but the plane is now in a nosedive. Bugs completely loses it while the gremlin couldn’t care less. (I guess he doesn’t mind dying. Or he’s invincible?) The plane gets up to “incredible ain’t it?” miles per hour and the wings burn off. Then, a few feet off the ground, the plane stops in midair. The two characters apologize for running out of gas. Dang A cards.

Personal Rating: 4

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A Gruesome Twosome

“Have you two putty-tats met?”

Directed by Bob Clampett

From the title alone, you’d probably never guess this is a Tweety short.

This is the last short with Tweety Clampett directed, and the last one where Tweety is naked. (He may be yellow, but he’s still got no feathers.) Apparently, it’s mating season for cat statues. (Yes, I know that the shadows don’t have to be animated) One female, who actually is pretty hot (and from an avid cat hater, that’s some compliment) has two suitors: A pot-bellied dolt nicknamed Snooks, and a horny Jimmy Durante cat. (None seem like ideal mates to me, but hey, she’s pretty nice to give them a chance.)

While they fight over her, a random dog pops up informing us that he does not belong in the short, but he’s not missing a chance to steal her kiss. My favorite part. Not wanting the titular twosome to fight over her, she tells them that the first one to bring her a bird will win her. (No specific bird? Would a plastic flamingo count?) The two both climb the same telephone pole (oblivious to each other) and find the same bird, Tweety. Upon noticing each other, they fight and Tweety causes them to fall and explode. (Cats do that, right?)

Jimmy decides they’ll have to work together if they want the naked genius. (I’m sure they are both planning a double cross) Their plan? Dress up as the most ridiculous horse in all history. (AKA the phony pony) Tweety isn’t fooled. In fact, he takes a bee out of his… pocket?, (So Tweety’s a marsupial?) slaps it around and shoves it in the costume. Making like the Lone Ranger he has a fun ride, until the cats crash into a tree.

While discussing another plan, Tweety takes a bone belonging to a bulldog, smashes him over the head, and tossing the bone into the costume. The dog runs into it and I’m pretty sure he ends up killing those two gruesomes. Tweety ends the film with his own Durante impression.

Personal Rating: 4

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Daffy Duck and Egghead

“I’m not crazy, I just don’t give a darn!”

Directed by Tex Avery

Only his second appearance and Daffy is already funnier than most people on TV today.

Before the credits even begin, we see two walnuts. Daffy and Egghead each pop out of one, setting the scene. Egghead is hunting and is quite annoyed when a theater-goer won’t sit down. Egghead politely asks him to sit. He won’t. Egghead shoots him. He hears quacking, and pulls back the reeds to receive a bill bite to the nose. Daffy has joined the picture. Egghead winds up a duck decoy and lets “her” go towards Daffy. He is not amused and throws it back along with a sign. (“Ta’int funny, Mcgee!”)

A random turtle encourages them to duel which Daffy cheats at and gets the turtle shot. Daffy then puts an apple on his head for Egghead to shoot off. Egghead continuously misses. Daffy goes right up to the barrel of the gun and Egghead STILL misses. Daffy gives him a cup of pens, sunglasses, and a “blind” sign. (“Too bad, too bad.”) Daffy leaves to sing “Merry go round broke down” with his reflection.

Egghead fires at Daffy again, but Daffy pulls out a frightening mask, that has the bullets hiding back in the gun. Egghead stuffs some gloves into the gun’s barrel, attaches them to a fishing line and fires. The gloves knock Daffy out and bring back Egghead’s prize. He’s elated. Just then a truck from the insane asylum arrives. The driver takes Daffy and thanks Eggy for the help. Apparently, they’ve been hunting him for awhile now. The key word is “apparently”. The doctor is just as crazy as Daffy and the two “Hoo-hoo” into the sunset. Egghead snaps and joins them.

On a unrelated topic: R.I.P. Bob Hoskins. You were my favorite live-action actor in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”

Personal Rating: 4