“I don’t care what you say; I’m cold.”
Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Paul Smith; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on March 16, 1940.
Ready for another dose of Avery gags? We’re giving you all we can this week as this short is just over nine minutes long! Egad! You’ll be gagging on such a gaggle of gags! That we can guarantee. What we can’t, is actually showing any animal life/scenic wonders of the U.S.A. But we will attempt, and that’s really all you should ask of anybody. What all of this means is: its not entirely “cross-country.” We’ll just stick to the west.
Starting off in California, at Yosemite National Park. (And just five years too early for a Sam cameo.) The daunting task of almost ten minutes of gags is already too scary, so we get a repeat of the human trying to feed an animal they shouldn’t. I think it was better before. Not just because I’d seen that one first, but I think a monkey violently throwing a bag of peanuts at a woman is more humorous than a bear hitting a man on the head. Check my math if you want, I’m correct.
There’s also a “shy deer” who flirts, (Somebody is in to that.) and a forest ranger always on the lookout for startings of fires. (Insert a joke about California and its fires here, but only if it’s tasteful.) He catches a scumhole tossing out a cigar and rushes to save both the forest and the smoke. He can’t afford better on his salary. Then, to Utah’s Bryce Canyon to see a natural bridge. It’s so gross when Nature doesn’t put her gums in a proper receptacle.
At the time of release, going to Alaska is technically leaving the country. Even though Fred already made a picture here, it wasn’t over nine minutes, so he had to cram some of its leftover jokes in. The “running” joke is a Husky seeing a road sign pointing out the miles to California. He sets out. We’d give him a ride, but we’ve already been there. And did anyone else see that smudge in the sky? That’s the beginning of climate change, I’m sure.
Back in the generic states, (which doesn’t mean boring; just the opposite of specific) we are shown footage of a bobcat stalking a baby quail. With adult plumage so the dumb audience won’t say something stupid like “That don’t look like a quail. Where’s the topknot?” (I’ve held baby quail. I would know what they look like.) The narrator tries his darnedest to make us feel bad that Nature is hardcore survival all the time. If the chick isn’t eaten, the cat could die of starvation. Not everyone can be saved. But don’t worry, the Bob’ can’t go through with it. (Let’s give Mel an Oscar for this role. There really should be a “Best Voice Actor” category.)
Down to New Mexico. We see that dog again. Must’ve gotten lost, as getting here on a trip to Cali is a serious cross country detour. (Is that what the title meant?) But tell me narrator, why would his master be in Cali? What kind of a sicko just abandons a dog in Alaska? I need a real good gag to wash the taste out of my mouth. (Ironic choice of words, I know.) And the short delivers. Taking a very natural basic thing like a lizard shedding its skin, and making her sexy so she can do a strip-tease. (What are you censoring? She has no breasts!) It’s a great joke, but it makes me sad to know there are now people in this world who first saw it in “Rubberhose Rampage.” Probably the most creative, laziest-made game, I’ll admit, but give Avery’s unit the credit! All of it!
Speaking of lizards, the next bit is so scary, that the screen will be split into different age ranges. Adults can watch the gila monster on the left, while the children can watch Goldilocks‘s sister recite poetry on the right. Because heaven forbid we treat kids like people, and prepare them for a dangerous world full of reptiles that could possibly hurt you. Goldenrodlocks’s parents knew better, and she scares the beast away. Poor little guy.
Now on to Arizona and the Grand Canyon. A tourist tries to get an echo here, but fails. Good thing there’s always an operator on standby. And beavers build dams. Not beaver dams, but human dams. And they work great! See all that water? They dam it all. And the dog finally reaches California. He’s exhausted, but still makes the final stretch up to the northern part of it to finally reach paradise. Large, LARGE trees. And they’re all his. So if you know anything about dogs, then you know he’s gonna be bored very soon. Worth the trip?
Favorite Part: A frog croaking the hard way. Darkly funny on its own, but made better by the cartoon apologizing…
For the pun!
Personal Rating: 3