Author: Dr. Foolio

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Of Rice and Hen

“WHAM-A-DOODLE!”*

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Herman Cohen, Rod Scribner, Phil DeLara, and Charles McKimson; Layouts by Robert Givens. Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on November 14, 1953. *(I friggin’ love that line.)

Guess who’s finally getting married? Yep! My younger brother! Explains today’s short choice perfectly!

All the local hens are proud mothers who love nothing more than raising their chicks. Excluding Prissy, of course.  She has zero. And not only do the hens know this lack of poultry progeny makes her miserable, but they delight in telling her that she’s the lucky one, because they know that bothers her. They can’t even have the decency to let her be friendly with their brood. (Don’t bother eating their drumsticks; they’re too bitter.) And the hurtful insults are the tipping point. Prissy is opting for what is always the worst option: suicide. (Briefly suffering wing loss as she does.)

Luckily for everyone involved, Foghorn spotted her just as she was about to jump and saves her to boot. She’s smitten. There’s just something about a guy who saves you from a dangerous situation that you put yourself in. Too bad her kiss only confounds him. Oh well. Time for the daily dog beating. Barnyard isn’t even tied up in this short, so Foggy has to slam a gate on him to avoid getting pounded back. After this bit of fun, Prissy returns, doing a sexy flamenco dance. (I honestly had trouble recognizing her without her signature bonnet.)

Foghorn is finally able to catch on, and tells her that he is not interested in as polite a manner as he is capable of. For you see, being married would interfere with his ‘sticking the dog with T.N.T. stick’ shtick. Which fails this time because it was the Dawg’s time to win. (But look closely! While Foghorn checks to see if the hound is asleep, Barnyard clearly looks him right in the eye! Does Foghorn just think he’s tied up in his house? Or was that just a bit of a mistime on the animator’s parts? It all depends on if you want to see the Toons as living beings or not.)

And Prissy is still at it. Now trying to buy Foghorn’s affections with confections. He has to put his talons down and tell her point blank that he has no interest in her. She understands. Saying the saddest version of her catchphrase, she departs. Give Foghorn some credit. At least he knows he was being a jerk. But that Dawg gets to her and plans to help her, as it would be the ultimate victory for him. (Plus, he’s written several shipping fanfic’s about the two. He has secrets.) He says the secret to getting your man is playing hard to get and when she tries it, the results are instantaneous.

What really steams the rooster up though, is seeing the Chinese knock-off version of him, Fog Horn Capon, putting the moves on the hen. (Really just that Dawg in disguise.) Foggy fights for her, and Barnyard is quite the method actor, willing to take some punches and ultimately throw the fight to sell the scene. Even the other ladies witness Prissy having two suitors fight for her, so that really boosts her self esteem. Foghorn quickly claims his prize and rushes off to Church’s Chicken… I mean Chicken Church, and has the deed done.

He celebrates his victory before things really start sinking in. Only now does he realize that one can win the fight, and still lose the war.

Favorite Part: Probably the most savage roast I’ve heard and probably ever will: “Gal reminds me of a highway between Fort Worth and Dallas: no curves.”

Personal Rating: 4. Top form writing.

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Knights Must Fall

“You can’t tell a knight from a day without a program.”

Look fellas, I’m Tin-rin-rin.

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, Manuel Perez, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on July 16, 1949.

Bugs lives in medieval times, when it wasn’t odd to see a rabbit as a squire, I suppose. But manners still existed, and Bugs doesn’t show a very good example of them, as he sticks what leftover carrot parts he didn’t want to eat into the suit of Sir Pantsalot. (His name really is Pantsalot.) If you want to over analyze things, as humans typically do, that action can be interpreted as Bugs calling Pantsy ‘garbage’. With honor at stake, the knight challenges to bunny to a duel, and he accepts.

The name of the game is jousting. The two combatants will charge each other from the mount of their choosing with their lances. Bugs rides an adorable little donkey that will now be known to you as ‘Jacques.’ They don’t really stand a chance. Either getting knocked apart, or just having the lance whittled down to splinters. And since everyone expects one of the two on the field to die at any time, it’s a fast-running sport and that means it’s halftime. We’re playing the “Rubber Band’s” one-hit wonder. A true blast from the past!

After the festivities, we rejoin the rivals who have moved on to clubs by this point. I think Bugs has tried to win the fair way long enough. Trick time! And a spring is just what he needs to fling Pantsy’s morning star back in his face. (Is that the right term? Even though it has no spikes?) But what really turns the tables is Bugs hiding where the sun don’t shine, so it’s always knight: inside Pantsalot’s armor. And he’s got a needle. After the poking, he gets his adversary to chase him into a manhole cover. (These times are well known for their sewer systems.) Victory!

Is what I’d be saying if Bugs had won yet. For Pantsalot has brought his reserves, and they are going to take the rabbit on all at once. (It’s only fair to fight fire with cheating.) Bugs isn’t going to be cowed like that, and quickly fashions a tank for Jacques to carry and they ride head on into the fray. And somewhere, I’m sure heralds still sing and shout, but there’s a lack of joy in Drop Seat Mannor, for Sir Pantsalot has been knocked out. Him and all his toadies. I like to think Bugs indirectly killed them. That is the point of a joust, after all, right?

And making the best of a bloody situation, Bugs makes a used armor lot out of all the leftover shells. Once more sticking his refuse into what once held a man named Pantsalot. That’s just cold.

Favorite Part: Bugs knocks on Pants’s helmet, saying that the guy knows who he is; he was here last night with Joe. Which leads to three zingers mashed together: the knight’s goofy smile, Bugs saying the guy really should have known better, and the hatch disappearing for a brief moment.

Personal Rating: 3

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Tease for Two

“If you ask me, I’d say he is a very rude duck.”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by David Detiege; Animation by Warren Batchelder, Bob Matz, and Manny Perez; Layouts by Dick Ung; Backgrounds by Tom O’Loughlin; Film Editor: Lee Gunther; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Bill Lava. A Looney Tune released on August 28, 1965.

It’s the mid-sixties, it’s a Daffy cartoon, so he’ll be partaking in his usual feud with Speedy, no doubt? Actually, he’s not the featured rodent at all! Believe it, if you would be so kind, that Daffy is facing off against Mac and Tosh! Which surprises me, no end. What are the Goofy Gophers doing making any appearances after the original studio shut down? Whatever it was, they wouldn’t do it a second time.

I guess it just makes sense to have them here, as Daffy is following a stupidly easy map to gold, and Speedy is too domesticated to live in a hole in the ground. Daffy tells them to beat it, but they refuse to. (Politely, naturally.) They’ve got an honest-to-goodness deed to the property that says they are staying right where they are. Daffy chooses to plunge them out, rubs their heads together, (I don’t get it, but the action delights me for some reason,) and sends them off via can, mockingly repeating the farewell they gave him not a minute earlier with pitch perfect accuracy. (Both gophers are voiced by Mel here. He’s doing great, but Stan was simply wonderful as the other half.)

The two burrow back into their hole and leave a lit TNT stick for Daffy to find. (Mac jumps briefly during the countdown. Giddy, perhaps?) Daffy tries to tow them out via a rope tied to lettuce, but their vegetarian diet is doing wonders for their upper body strength, and they don’t budge; Daffy’s jeep’s frame gets ripped off the wheels. And they have more explosives to spare, leaving a bomb for Daffy to vacuum up. (Of course it’s lit. What uncouth creatures do you take these gophers for?) Daffy puts what he thinks is them in a trash can with a boulder on top, and the explosion sends the can over him, and the boulder on top.

Daffy next tries to flood them out, mistakenly thinking this kind of thing always works. But being more refined than Virgil and Ross, they simply cork the hose. All the water Daffy intended to send their way quickly builds up, and when it can go no larger, bursts, sending Daffy into the stratosphere. He gets hilariously poetic, musing about the silence up here, meets a friendly, passing cosmonaut, and is smart enough to realize that his reentry is going to burn. This whole sequence has raised the rating a number.

While Daffy isn’t looking, the two simply move the land-marker rock Daffy followed here in the opposite direction. Once he notices, he packs up his shovel and tries where he figures he should have been all along. (In typical Daffy function, he doesn’t even consider apologizing.) And to show how polite they really are, the gophers even throw a nugget for him to find. Their place IS loaded with the stuff, remember. Heck! They probably made the map as a way to make new friends and share happiness! (The greedy get the piss taken out of them first.) But since greed is a sin, they won’t be giving him more than the one piece. But they will humor him, and paint many of the plain rocks the same color. Man, these guys are pleasant!

Favorite Part: If not the whole space scene, then it’s after they first show the duck the deed. Giving him the polite version of ‘Get off our property!’: “It’s been so nice meeting you!” “Drop around again, sometime!”

Personal Rating: 3. I’m honestly surprised it took so long for Daffy to get paired up with this pair. The differing personalities scream comedy. Shame we couldn’t have seen it with a higher animation budget.

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Young and Healthy

“Wake up, you chump!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Larry Martin; Music by Frank Marsales. A Merrie Melody released on March 4, 1933.

Within every tapestry, there is an entire other world. In the one featured in today’s picture, it’s the 18th century life-round. And it’s also France so that means King Louie’s in charge. Prepare the royal staircase! Sound the color-changing horns! And cheer! In this universe, you might as well worship your leader because you’ll never get a different one! Hail! Oh yes, hail!

But despite our hailing, Louie doesn’t seem too pleased. Naturally, that just makes us love the jerk more. But it does make one wonder why our glorious ruler doesn’t smile. Have we failed as sycophants? Well, maybe the king will feel better after he’s taken a nap. I love that he loves to sleep. I love his color-changing coattail. I love his grotesque, ginormous, disgusting mole. I must, since I can’t take my eyes away from it.

In steps Queen Uhglii. She tells Louie that it is time for a ball. And our mystery is solved! Of course Louie is unhappy! “Balls, parties and picnics!” Day in, day out. 365.25 days a year! 4. Ever. They’re not all that fun to begin with, and as our distinguished, and perfect leader, he has to be proper the entire time. And that really starts to eat at you. And the final straw is the queen killing his Durante-flavored Jack-in-the-box. The only friend who truly understood him. The guy who was there for him when we weren’t allowed to. And he’s hacha’d his last hacha.

But Louie does see something that raises his spirits: children! Romping, and smiling and playing and enjoying life as only kids can. (And transforming into each other while they dance in a circle. I miss the days when I could do that.) That is what Louie is lacking in his life: fun. And one can’t ever be too old for that! (A message one should never get tired of hammering in.) You know what? He’s going to join them! And you know what else? The kids seem happy to include the guy. (Even white Bosko who rides in the royal pocket. Something the rest of us will never have the privilege of.) The only hiccup is ole Uhglii. She doesn’t seem too keen on kids. …. Get her.

The kids do this very well. Once her bloomers are on display, the queen runs off screaming much to Louie’s delight. So nice to see him smile once again! The kids have taken over the palace and set right in to making it their new personal playground. Too bad Louie has taken a tumble into a royal fountain and can’t join in. Even worse, since this is where the short ends, the tapestry will now forever depict the king spitting fountain water. Maybe we should find a new one to live in for the time being.

Favorite Part: The way Uhglii calls for her husband. Sounds like she’s calling a pig. And since there are no pigs in this picture, it’ll have to do.

Personal Rating: 2

 

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What’s brewin, Bruin?

“Oh, goody, goody! Uh, a snowman!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Tedd Pierce and Michael Maltese; Animation by Phil Monroe, Ken Harris, Lloyd Vaughn, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Peter Alvarado; Effects Animation by A. C. Gamer; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on February 28, 1948.

Having been four years since their last cartoon, we’re given a quick reintroduction to Henry, Ma, and Junyer. The parents are playing a game of gin rummy, and according to the score list, Henry has yet to win. But with Ma’s poker face, that’s no surprise. So challenging her in the first place was Henry’s first mistake. His second was to take advice from his son. Thanks to Junyer’s “tips” Henry loses again. He takes it very well for his standards.

Well, fun time must be put on hold as they really need to get to sleep if they’re going to bypass winter. (They never make the mistake of calling it hibernating. Well done, Chuck!) Each says their prayers and gets into their respective bed. (According to Junyer’s chart on the wall, he’s very good at ‘behinding his ears.’) The problems immediately arise. Ma’s a snorer and Junyer’s cradle creaks. It then falls apart and Junyer’s crying adds to the cacophony. Since he’s a half-decent father deep down, and it will shut the kid up, Henry allows the tyke to share his bed.

That was his third mistake, as Junyer’s bulk flattens Henry, but things get more unpleasant because of a leak in the roof. As the son of the household, it’s Junyer’s job to plug it up. The water finds an out through his ears, so that solution won’t work. Henry jams the hole full of long underwear, which holds a little better, but eventually leads to a bigger problem. (Who in this household wears those?)The window is also open, per Ma’s wishes seeing as how she opens it every time Henry closes it. Even bricks can’t keep her away. (Wives always win.)

When the stuffed moose head on the wall falls on Henry, Junyer and Ma take notice of the strange being in their house, and chase it with a gun and a mallet. After Henry gets revealed, Junyer earns another star on his ‘good boy’ chart by bringing the spanking brush to Henry. But no, this final straw demands more than that. Henry is going to get some sleep, and his family is NOT going to interfere with that. This means tying the two to their beds, (Junyer’s now fixed) muzzling their mouths, (Junyer’s muzzle miscolored) plugging that hole correctly, nailing the window shut and even making sure the clock is silenced. This will be a blissful slumber to savor!

And it’s now spring. Plants are sprouting, animals are calling, and ice is melting. It’s all very beautiful, but very loud. And Henry has suffered too much to have to put up with it! He yells for things to be quiet, and the universe finally cuts him some slack. Time rewinds back to winter so the bear can finally get some rest. (Thankfully, the short ends before time repeats the whole picture.)

Favorite Part: It really is great that Henry got to win at last. Yes, he’s an a-hole who deserves just about every misfortune that befalls him, but he just wanted to enjoy winter the way all creatures should: totally unaware. I’m happy for him.

Personal Rating: 3

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Get rich quick Porky

“This land is so saturated with oil, that you can literally wring it out with your fingers.”

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Charles Jones; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on August 28, 1937.

Seen the trailer for the “Tiny Toons” revival yet? You must have if you visit this site. If my eyes aren’t screwing with me, it looks like there may be a protege for ole Gabby Goat! (Why not? Looks like Cool Cat got one. Probably called “Fab Feline”.) They could call the new kid “Chatty Capricorn” or something. (Since most people don’t know the term ‘caprine’.) All this is just my way of saying I’m reviewing Gabby’s final short today.

A businessman named Honest John Gusher (the brother of the guy who invented the fruit snack, no doubt) is preparing a scam. He’s going to fill an empty lot with oil, and pawn it off on the next saps he sees. Sadly, those two are Porky and Gabby. (I like to provide links whenever I indirectly mention a short’s title.) They’re on their way to the bank. Porky has a bag of cash that he is all set to invest despite Gabby trying to convince him to spend it and frivolously at that.

John (who is a… fossa? I think? Or some new species of mammal whose ear can vanish at will.) calls to their attention and offers to sell them the field. Even going so far as to demonstrate that it has indeed got the goods. Now, Porky is a smart pig. He knows that putting money in the bank is a great option, but oil is valuable. And if you saw a field full of the greasy gold that was being offered to you, you’d find it hard to say no to what would surely be a great payoff. He agrees and he and Gabby eagerly grab some tools and dig in.

Porky makes do with a pickax, while Gabby chooses the jackhammer. (The dirt not only changes color, but shape as well! It must be valuable too!) A dog also stops by to do some digging, but only to rebury the bone Porky unearthed. (Wouldn’t he want to chew it a bit before saving it for later? I wouldn’t ask if he entered the scene with the bone.) He has a bit of a hard time what with oil gushing out of every hole he digs. Making matters worse is a gopher that makes his bone disappear like magic. (That rodent’s appearance makes me laugh. He looks like a naked “Arthur” background character.)

John is still around and he decides to turn the oil off. Porky discovers the trick and is man enough to cry. Poor guy. I want to hug him more than usual. Since Porky is unhappy, John offers to buy the deed off of him for a whole dollar! (A-hole.) Since Porky is pretty much broke, he doesn’t really have much of a choice. But Gabby is still digging and his jackhammering has led him underground, and wouldn’t you know it, there is real, actual, honest-to-god, authentic, genuine, made from 100% dead animals, pure, perfect, not compatible with water, fresh from the ground, o-i-l, oil!

The resulting gusher carries victim and perpetrator up into the sky. Porky is obviously happy that he really is going to be a billionaire, but John’s still got a hand on the deed, and he’s not going to let go! Only a goat with a pneumatic drill could pull him away. So, after he’s pulled away and the two friends land on the ground,  Porky happily holds onto the deed! Oh, wait. It’s that dogs bone. Drat. (John probably got pulled underground and is now realizing that he will eventually become the very substance he was using to swindle people.)

But all is not lost as that gopher pops up and shows he/she has the deed. And they’re willing to give it back, as long as they can become partners. (Poor Gabby.) Porky agrees and to this day, you’ll find G. P. Richfield gas stations in every state of the union.

Favorite Part: When we’re shown Gabby is approaching some real, actual, etcetera, etcetera, it is labeled ‘oil’. After cutting back to Porky and back again, it’s labeled ‘same oil’. You know, in case we thought Gabby was heading for some different oil.

Personal Rating: 3

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Gopher Goofy

“LET’S NOT GET NOSY, BUD!”

Supervision by Norman McCabe; Story by Don Christensen; Animation by I. Ellis; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on June 27, 1942.

You know, I think ‘Bud’ is a great name to bequeath to the human featured in this short. He’s one of those odd types who obsess over their lawn, and therefore is probably using every child that has laid their little toe on it as fertilizer. He’s proud of his work. The grass is perfect, the flowers smell delectable (the way he’s snorting them, they probably smell like rubber cement) the gophers are eating the flow- gophers?

Well, lookie here! Two New York gophers have just arrived to partake of the this guy’s lawn. It’s gotta be healthier then the stuff they’ve been eating. The bigger one with the obstructing hair is named Virgil, and the smaller one doesn’t have a name. But c’mon! We’re all calling him ‘Ross’, just as the animators were surely doing. They are not welcome on Bud’s lawn, and he aims to eradicate them. Too bad he sucks at it. Can’t manage to decapitate them via hoe, or shoot them via gun.

Gassing them actually seems to have some effect, as not only to they get a whiff of it, but it starts messing with their heads and even makes them float out of their tunnels. (Bud? Just because the gas is labeled ‘He’ doesn’t mean you’re allowed to just use it for any random purpose.) Hilariously enough, their stupor is enough to get a drinking crow to kick his habit. They do try to flee from Bud, but crash into a tree and land in his tomatoes. He traps them under his hat, reaches for… oh, I hazard to guess. Could this end up with him mistaking fruit blood for the rodent varitey?

They don’t dwell on that for two long, as the gophers were smart enough to just tunnel away. (Burrowing species. Gotta love them.) So, since it seems like they think their tunnels are their sanctuary, the only logical thing to do is pump it full of another substance. Something more liquidy than a gas. And it should probably be something Bud already has on hand. Water! Of course! The solution was so obvious! Hope the little guys are thirsty!

They’re good thanks, but seeing as how he kind of is their landlord, the two decide they will return all the water they don’t need back to him. They burrow a tunnel leading back to him, pinching the hose until it’s finished. Once they finish and let it go, the resulting spray shoots Bud into the air. He finally snaps and upon landing, burrows himself until he runs into his fountain. We accept him, one of us! Gooble gopher, gopher gobble.

Favorite Part: When Bud says “I’m not really a mean man, folks. Honest.” between his bouts of insane laughter. He sounds like every single person who has tried to justify killing something smaller than himself.

Personal Rating: 3 that just barely passes the 2.

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The Queen was in the Parlor

“I’d rather listen to ‘Amos ‘n Andy’.”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Paul Smith. A Merrie Melody released on July 9, 1932.

Today is a day when many a people celebrate a man who is said to have died and come back to life. I’m not one to talk about religion, but I will tie that into today’s featured short, as Goopy Geer did the same thing, just taking roughly sixty years as opposed to three days. This was the last time people would see the guy alive for quite some time yet.

At the only castle in the shot, we decide to see what’s going on. Our king has returned. I call him Sir Pigguy, and so should you. He must be rather beloved as far as kings go, as he gets quite the turnout for his return and they are all singing his praises, and giving adulation. But our king has no time for such meaningless words, as he just wants to know where his wife is. The title is sung to him, and he learns that she doesn’t want to/can’t be seen. Rules don’t apply to kings, so he dismisses the singers and heads to her location.

The parlor is where the clothes mending takes place, as Queen Hippo knits a sock, and Princess Gigi patches up her father’s armor. (Methinks there’s something dishonest with the royal bloodline.) Since our king’s mood has been soured, he demands his jester entertain him. Goopy plays that part and offers to get the royal crooners, “Crosby, Columbo and Vallee”. (A cartoon I’d insert a link to if I’d blogged about it already. Chalk this up to another instance of me whining about how I don’t blog in chronological order.)

The king isn’t amused. Goopy dances for him instead. His little talking stick and hat change color. His left ear vanishes a few times. But darn it, he IS putting his all into things! And a cat fails at catching a mouse. (Something I only bring up to catalog Mickey Clone #248.) While the festivities continue, an ugly knight enters the picture and takes off with the princess. Goopy fights for her, as it’s just jester code. And he manages to hold his own fairly well, even without any proper training.

Still, as an amateur he finds himself flung into an assortment of kitchen wares. The pans, kettles, and graters make decent armor, but not great and he is punched against a pillar, knocking a stuffed ram’s head onto his own. With this new advantage, he is able to knock the opposition right out of his armor. Once the guy gets it back together, he flees. He’ll never recover from such an embarrassing attack.

Favorite Part: Goopy listening in at a keyhole and getting caught. “Are ya listening, HUH?” But I don’t get Goopy’s reply: “Yeah. I bought a windshield.” Maybe it makes sense to those who listen to “Amos ‘n Andy”?

Personal Rating: 2. It’s not such a shame that Goopy disappeared from theaters after this.

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Little Brother Rat

“I once had an egg.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Bob McKimson; Musical Direction by Charles W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on September 2, 1939.

Sniffles creeps up on a sleeping cat and yanks out a whisker. He must have a death wish! No, it’s just part of a scavenger hunt he’s taking part in. Bringing it back puts in the lead, beating out Jimmy and flat out annihilating Squeakie. (Even though the list asks for whiskers plural. Oops.) There’s just one last item on the list, but it’s certainly the most difficult: an owl’s egg.

Sniffles accepts the challenge and heads back out again. The cat has come outside too by this point, and begins to follow the little prick who caused him a moment of discomfort. (And upset his sense of balance, let’s be real.) Sniffles manages to avoid getting caught by entering a barn, but the cat has no problem waiting for his return. There isn’t any other holes down here, so it’s a good bet the mouse will return.

Up in the barn, sleeps Papa Owl. (Asleep at night because he’s hungover. I don’t know.) Sniffles easily gets his paws on the unhatched Junior, and is almost immediately caught leaving. The father convinces him to put his child back passively and aggressively. Sniffles is then thrown out from this high, because he’s just too big for the owl to swallow whole. (Nice camera movement.) He bounces off the still waiting cat and is flung right back up again. So, guess he’s just stuck in such a perilous position for the rest of his life, eh?

As if! Winning this scavenger hunt is everything to him! The prize must be that good. (Or he just refuses to be bested by Jimmy. Friggin’ Jimmy.) He tries again, and father doesn’t catch him this time. Instead, Sniffles trips. That’s the end of this egg. Or not. Seems it was just about to hatch as the owlet is alive and unharmed and a chibi version of his father. Sniffles tries to coax him back inside, because it will prove this really is an owl egg, rather than a robin egg. The young bird gets in, but his feet stick out and he walks back to his nest.

Sniffles gets a hold of him once more. And then just puts him back anyway. (I guess he only has qualms about stealing other’s children after they’re born.) Once back outside, he finds the little owl has followed him. Even worse, the cat takes notice of the two and chases. Sniffles carries the young bird, and this kind gesture is witnessed by Mr. Owl. He swoops down, grabs the cat, and throws it down a chimney. (He’ll be back to eat it later.) Because of his bravery, Sniffles is given the egg he needed. Yeah! Eat it, Jimmy!

Favorite Part: The way the owl’s eyes gleam and dilate when Sniffles is spotted. Telling him in no uncertain way that the jig is up.

Personal Rating: 3 for those who can accept a Merrie Melody without much comedy. If you can’t, it’s a 2.

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A-lad-in Bagdad

“Don’t ever dooo that!”

Supervision by Cal Howard and Cal Dalton; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Volney White; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on August 27, 1938.

In today’s short, Egghead is playing the role of Aladdin. Like most Aladdins, he’s one of those living on the street types. If he could just catch a break, he could be set for life. And just in front of him is a claw machine with some nice looking prizes on display. Al plays, and manages to get lucky on his first try. (Which is how you know this is fiction.) He thinks he’s just acquired a sugar bowl. Good thing the instructions are printed on the bottom.

After the rubs, he’s greeted by the genie of the lamp who lays down the rules: Aladdin gets anything he wants when he rubs the lamp. No limits. This delights the lad in Bagdad, but angers the guy who was playing the machine before him. An angry Arab that we will call Gephar. He’s always wanted that lamp so he could reclaim all the nickels he’s given the machine, and he’s going to follow Aladdin until he can nab it for himself.

Aladdin follows a crowd of people to a notice stating that the best entertainer will be allowed to wed the princess. (Because the best son-in-law is the kind that keeps you smiling.) Aladdin takes his magic carpet he just asked for to the palace and waits in line with the other schlubs who have no chance without genie wing men. They’re not entertaining enough, and the king lets them know with his trapdoor.

While Aladdin waits, Gephar secretly switches his regular lamp with a Foulger brand coffee pot™.  Let’s see if that will make a difference. When it’s Alladin’s turn, I’d like to say he’s got a good chance, seeing as the princess is clearly smitten with him. Too bad her father is the one making all decisions. (And I may not know much about any culture, but I swear she looks like she’s from another country entirely. Like Italy or Romania.) Aladdin does a catchy little musical number, (“Bei Mir Bist Du Schein”) but her father isn’t enjoying himself. Just let him reach for that trapdoor release…

WAIT! Aladdin has yet to play his trump card! Just let him give his lamp a quick rub. Oh. Guess he’s noticed the difference. (Does he look like he’s got two tongues to anybody else?) He’s ejected. When he peeks inside the palace window, he sees Gephar using HIS hard earned lamp to summon jewels so he can bribe his way into the father’s good graces. And it works, because personality means nothing; you gotta be able to provide. The sultan announces the wedding plans. (Losing his gloves and hair for brief seconds. A trait his daughter is able to replicate with her mouth.)

But Aladdin is willing to stand up for the truth. He runs in, punches the thief, gets his lamp back, and runs off with the girl. An angry mob follows, but the two interlopers are already flying off. Later, at wherever they decided to settle, the princess is feeling like she got ripped off. (It’s called ‘love at first sight’, rather than ‘perpetual sight’ for a reason.) She gives the lamp a rub and the genie shows up looking like Robert Taylor now. She happily joins him in his lamp.

Favorite Part: Two of the performers the sultan sent down the hole continue to sing. He tries to shut them off with a gun. He gets one, but hilariously enough, the other guy keeps going. (They were never that close.)

Personal Rating: 3