Buccaneer Bunny

“Have a nice dip, drip?”

Directed by I. Freleng; Story by Michael Maltese and Tedd Pierce; Animation by Manuel Perez, Ken Champin, Virgil Ross, and Gerry Chiniquy; Layouts by Hawley Pratt; Backgrounds by Paul Julian; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released on May 8, 1948.

He may be remembered as a cowboy, but Sam had many different occupations in the shorts he appeared in. This was his second appearance even! (Unless, you count “Along came Daffy” but there is no concrete evidence that either of the men in that short were Sam.)

As a pirate, Sam is burying his treasure so that no one will know where it is. (His eyebrows turn pink. It’s that tropic sun, I tell ya.) But as he tosses it in the hole, Bugs tosses it back up. Sam decides to shoot him to keep his secret safe. “Dead rabbits tell no tales.” Bugs corrects him that it’s dead men. Sam figures he has no choice and starts to aim at his head. (Hysterical!) He quickly catches on and gives chase. Bugs hops in Sam’s rowboat and rows so fast, he ends up paddling himself out of the boat and onto Sam’s ship. Seeing this, Sam swims out to the ship, grabs the oars and swims back to the boat to row. (A good gag to be sure, but it makes sense. He might needs that boat later and he’ll want the oars.)

Once aboard, he runs into Captain Bligh from “Mutiny on the Bounty.” (Bugs of course.) He gives Sam several orders and chuckles while Sam does so. He soon wises up and Bugs hides. It would work, but Sam’s parrot keeps obnoxiously pointing out the rabbit’s hiding places. Bugs shuts him up by giving it a (fire)cracker. Taking the birds place, he tells Sam the rabbit is in the cannon. BOOM! Bugs takes the crow’s nest like an elevator and is well out of Sam’s reach. Sam orders him down, and Bugs yells for him to catch him as he tosses an anvil which causes the whole ship to submerge, (save Bugs) until Sam lets go of it.

After some hilarious cannon gags and the brilliant many doors gag, (Bugs enters a door, Sam is about to follow when Bugs emerges from another door and enters a different one and Sam can’t catch up.) We get to undoubtedly the best part of this short. Sam comes over to Bugs who is standing by the stairs to the powder room. (By which I mean where the gunpowder is kept. It’s not a latrine. When you’re a pirate, the ocean is your latrine.) Smiling like a troll, Bugs lights a match and throws it down. Sam reacts how you’d think and runs after it. He manages to get it and berates Bugs for doing that. Bugs responds by doing it again. Sam grabs it once more, but tells Bugs that if he does it again, he’s not chasing after it.

Bugs does it again. This really is one of the best gags is all cartoon-dom. Sam is true to his word and tries to keep busy, but ultimately can’t take it and tries to retrieve the match. Too late. The ship is blown to pieces and Bugs and Sam are blown back to the Island. Sam chases Bugs back to his hole thinking he has him cornered. But Bug’s hole is really a buried cannon. Sam surrenders despite Bugs’s claim that he hasn’t even begun fighting. You don’t want to see him at full power. Our universe couldn’t handle it.

Personal Rating: 4

Ali Baba Bunny

“It’s mine, ya understhand? Mine! All mine!”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Richard Thompson, Ken Harris, Abe Levitow, and Ben Washam; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling and Milt Franklyn. Released in 1957.

This one is a classic. I think it’s Bugs and Daffy’s best known team up, outside of the hunting trilogy. Naturally, it’s one of the 100 greatest Looney Tunes and ranks number 35 on the 50 greatest cartoons.

In (somewhere in the Middle East, I’m sure) a midget seals a cave that is brimming with treasure. He tells the guard there, (Hassan) to guard it with his life, because the price is life. Poor Hassan. I bet he’s really a nice guy who wants no part in this. But seeing as he’s got no alternative, he dutifully stands watch. The midget rides away on his adorably ugly, midget camel. We then see a very familiar burrow coming along. It heads right into the cave. Having noticed this, Hassan tries to enter but can’t seem to remember the magic words. (“Open sarsaparilla? Open Saskatchewan?”)

Inside, Bugs announces that they have finally made it to Pismo Beach. Or have they? As he puzzles over things, his travel buddy, Daffy notices the treasure in a way I think we all would act. (Wide eyes, licking lips/beak, and plotting to get rid of the other guy.) He claims it as his own and shoves Bugs back into the hole, before unleashing his inner Scrooge. (I remember in middle school seminary class, I got to teach about the seven deadly sins. I used Looney Tunes as examples and this was greed.)

Hassan meanwhile has finally gotten the phrase correct. (“Open septuagenarian?” No. “Open saddle soap?” Wrong. “Open sesame?” DING!) On his way out, Daffy mistakes him for a red cap and asks for a cab. Hassan slices his cute diamond studded hat in half. (Shame. That was my favorite treasure.) Daffy flees back to Bugs asking for his help in exchange for a diamond. Bugs is too cool to care. Daffy then tells the angry guard, that Bugs is the one who brought them there and he should get all the blame. Bugs has disguised himself as a genie and offers Hassan a reward if he frees him. He does so, and Bugs grants him the treasure all to himself. (Doing an amusing chant as well)

With that taken care of, Bugs heads out and thinks that maybe they’re not at the beach. But his pondering must be put on hold as Daffy has gotten himself in trouble again. Seems he took one of the diamonds that now belong to Hassan. Bugs agrees to help and gets rid of Hassan by having him climb a rope into the clouds. (Here Daffy admits that he can’t help being greedy, it’s his hobby. At least he’s honest) With the guard gone, the treasure is all Daffy’s. He loads up a mine car with all the loot, (Good thing he always has that on him.) and takes one more quick look to make sure he’s got everything. He finds a lamp and rubbing it produces a real genie. Even though, it sounds like he’s going to grant Daffy a wish, the duck’s paranoia has him assuming the genie is after his treasure and tries to shove him back in the lamp.

The genie is furious, and Bugs (wisely) decides to leave. Daffy is unafraid of the genie’s wrath, and says one of the best lines in all of ever. (“Consequences, schmonsequences. As long as I’m rich.”) Brilliant. I have the feeling every celebrity ever has said that at least once. (And once Kanye is out of debt, he’ll say it again.) At the beach, Bugs muses about what happened to Daffy as he eats clams. (They must taste like carrots.) He finds a pearl in one. (Or they’re oysters.) Just then, an ant-sized Daffy runs out of the hole and claims the pearl as his own. Annoyed, Bugs shuts the bivalve on him. (It’s probably dead now, so at least he won’t be digested.) Daffy doesn’t seem to mind. And why should he? The oyster is his world!

Personal Rating: 5. If for no other reason than Daffy is probably at his best here.

5 YEARS!

Five years ago today, a shy awkward teenager started a blog about Warner Bros’. Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons. He went by the name of Dr. Foolio. A name so generously given to him by a cyber bully. A failed attempt at an insult you can see, for it fit perfectly with the subject matter. It’s now been five years, and that teen is now an adult and still going strong. (Despite a nearly nonexistent fan base.)

Wow! Has it really been years already? 5 to be precise? Time flies when you’re enjoying yourself. I can’t believe it! As per tradition, with a new year, comes a new feature to this place. So from now on, I’m listing all the credits I can for each short. (Which does leave me with the question of how I’ll upgrade next year.) Before that happens however, let’s take a quick retrospective of what’s happened here since then.

When I first started out, I clearly didn’t have any idea what I was doing. I acted like everyone who came here had seen the short already, and all I left behind was one or two sentences that did nothing but tell how much I enjoyed the short, as generically as possible. No pictures or anything. At least I had the common sense to give a brief history about the characters. I didn’t even have a schedule yet. I just wrote something every time I watched a short. Without taking notes I might add.

Later in the year, I started putting up pictures for characters, and videos for the shorts. And I started leaving summaries. (With my own comments thrown in. I’m not Wikipedia.) Eventually, I started to leave an image for the shorts if I could not find a video for it. And soon I started to leave some of the credits to the shorts as well. When I finally did get a schedule, updates came on every Tuesday. Soon, I got a job and I had to move things over to Wednesday’s from now on.

Which leads us to today. Sure, this place might not be the most popular spot online. (In fact, I average about two visitors a week.) But I have gotten some very nice people who I admired to visit. Big thanks to you if you are still alive. And I’m still enjoying myself regardless if anyone visits or not. And in the end, isn’t that all that matters? There’s still more fun to be had. Hundreds of shorts are left! And with only 52 posts a year, (some not even related to the shorts) this could go on for decades. That’s not all folks! We’re just beginning. Hope you enjoy visiting this place as much as I enjoy updating it.

-Dr. Foolio (Cartoon expert)

14 Carrot Rabbit

“It’s gettin’ so a man can’t earn a dishonest livin’ no more.”

Directed by I. Freleng.  Released in 1952

Our story takes place in the Klondike during the gold rush. What little people can find is claimed by Chillicoot (Yosemite) Sam. While cashing in his ill gotten gains, he sees Bugs walking in with a boulder of a gold nugget. Which he exchanges for carrots. Which are edible. As opposed to money. Which does nothing. (There is my proof that Bugs Bunny is smarter than any man ever will be. Goodnight.) Apparently, a funny feeling comes over Bugs when he is near gold. Sam follows to see if it’s true. It must be, as Bugs finds a collar button by listening to his feelings.

Sam springs into action claiming that they should be partners, and split any gold they might find 50/50. (I love the way Bugs waves his eyebrows at us. He’s not buying that crap.) He agrees and leads Sam to a spot. Instead of making Bugs dig, like I’d expect him to,Sam rushes in and informs the rabbit their partnership is over. Bugs realizes they are on a cliff and feels he should warn the crook. Sam won’t listen to anything he has to say, and Bugs lets him fall. Knowing Sam is going to come back, Bugs starts digging elsewhere. Sam comes back and takes over, unaware that the pile of dirt he is digging through is in a dump truck that Bugs is driving. He dumps it off a cliff.

Angered, Sam vows to chase Bugs all over America if he has to. (I guess he meant North America? Alaska wasn’t part of U.S. yet. Or did he intend to chase him down to the states?) He even gets a shot at Bugs’ tail. That’s rare. They chase for quite awhile, when Bugs is alerted to gold again. Sam knows it must be a trick, but ultimately decides he can’t take that chance and digs. Eureka! He finds gold bar after gold bar. Where is this heavenly location? Fort Knox. (Whoops.) He’s taken away but as Bugs is still there, it looks bad for him too. He says he’s just waiting for a street car, but is all too happy to take the boat that appears instead. (Cartoons. They’re magical)

Personal Rating: 3

Next week is a milestone for me. It will be the fifth anniversary of my blog as a whole. Which means another change in posts (like I do every year) and maybe a special post? Who knows? I hope you’ll join me.

Tweety’s High-flying Adventure

“Humph! Mr. Popular.”

Directed by Karl Torege, Charles Visser, James T. Walker, Kyung Won Lim.

In case you haven’t noticed, all of the shorts I’ve talked about recently have had cats in them. Looney Tunes are chock full of them. And so is this direct to video movie which was sort of a series finale for “The Sylvester and Tweety Msyteries.” It’s not spectacular, but I still find it enjoyable. So let’s get started.

It’s October 2nd… I dunno, 2000 I guess, and Granny is living in London for some reason. She has two pets, namely Sylvester and Tweety. She is also a member of the Looney Club, which is located right next door to a children’s park that is going to close soon. Inside the club we see…COLONEL RIMFIRE? Wow! One of the last characters created for Looney Tunes. He doesn’t get roles anymore. Score one point for this film. He is busy ranting about the fact that he never caught his nemesis: Cool Cat. No, not that abomination created by Derek Savage. This character actually has earned his title. At least, I think he’s cool.

The colonel takes a little solace in the fact that he was bested by a creature that was smarter than him. Not just Cool Cat, but all cats. He believes cats are the smartest creatures on the planet. I disagree. Lucky for me, Granny is on my side, believing her canary to be the I.Q.-iest. Rimfire says he’d bet his savings on his claim, and she takes him up on it, hoping to use the winnings to restore the park. She claims that Tweety can prove this by not only going around the globe in 80 days, which would be December 21, (I’m still going with) 2000, but also collect 80 different paw prints. It’s a big challenge, but Tweety’ll do anything for Granny. (Is it just me, or does that calendar have a picture of one of the hunters from “Horton hatches the egg” on it?)

So he is given a passport to get stamped to prove he visited the locations. This gathers the attention of a shifty looking character in the crowd. It’s the Shropshire Slasher from the short “Deduce You Say“. He eyes Tweety’s passport with great interest and why not? The things might be rare soon. One’s already been stolen apparently. Sylvester meanwhile, plans on following the canary to make sure he and only he can have him for lunch. Outfitted with a tracking device, Tweety heads for his first stop in France. Not too long after starting, a wind blows him off course into the Alps. Lodged into the side of a mountain, he asks a nearby climber for help. Said climber is actually Daffy, who is sore about the fact this is not his movie and refuses to help. An avalanche happens but the two are saved by snowboarder Bugs Bunny.

It is now October 12, and Sylvester has been waiting in France this whole time. The script says that Tweety should have come here, could it be wrong? Nope. Here he comes now, being chased by Penelope Pussycat. She crashes into Sylvester’s table and gets a white stripe down her back, but that does not deter her from her purrrr-suit. (Weak, I know.) Not if Sylvester has anything to say about it. While they chase, Tweety gets his passport stamped by Pepe. He then points out something he thinks he’ll like: two skunks fighting over him. (It’s not really explained how Sylvester got a stripe as well.) With those two occupied, Tweety collects Penelope’s print and flies off for Italy.

Would you like to bet on whether or not Tweety will make it? Because his progress is being charted by Foghorn, Prissy, Henry, and Egghead Jr. And they’re accepting all bets. They believe he can do it. (Birds are encouraging like that) In Venice, Tweety stops at Pasquelles. This is the same restaurant Charlie Dog tried to make home in “A Hound for Trouble.” He’s still there, playing waiter. Tweety orders a plate of birdseed with marinara sauce. As all Americans know, Italian food is good eating, so it’s no wonder that Tweety leaves the place plump as a turkey. He can’t even fly anymore, so he hitches a ride on a gondola. But flightless, plump, juicy, succulent birds are vulnerable. Surprise! The owner of it is a cat, and there are more up ahead on a bridge. Tweety uses his new physique to bowl over them. He gets their prints, and a stamp for Venice. (Turns out his fat was just gas. If only I had that problem.)

Tweety’s trip has garnered more attention, and he is even mentioned by Lola on the news. Tweety makes it to Egypt and gets his passport stamped by a camel. (Who I think is Humpty Bumpty in a fez, but I can’t be sure.) Worn out, Tweety goes to sleep. But Sylvester must have gotten away form Pepe, and is back for more. (Please tell me he convinced him of his gender before it was too late.) After a scuffle, Tweety hides in the Sphinx. Granny wasn’t kidding about his smarts. He knows how to read Hieroglyphics. Turns out the place has a terrible fate for anyone who tries to head down a certain hall. Since Sylvester isn’t aware, he gets attacked by mummified cats.  They punch him hard enough to make a hole in the place for Tweety to escape from. He collects their prints and is on his way once more.

Landing in Africa (in the jungle of crayon drawn trees) he encounters the Mynah Bird. Since that guy doesn’t talk, Tweety just follows him hoping he’ll lead him to his next stamp. But he doesn’t look where he’s going and wanders into a lion’s mouth. (At least he found the stamp in there.) He leaves the mouth of the beast, (which looks more like a dog dressed as a lion to me) but almost immediately runs into Pete Puma. (Why’s he here?) The two corner Tweety in a tree. (No relation to the short “Tree cornered Tweety”) Luckily for him, the Mynah comes back and saves him by flinging the predators away. With that done, Tweety heads to Tibet. He gets to a souvenir shop where Gossamar gives him another stamp. (Why not?) Tweety also catches sight of some monk cats lead by Claude. (He may look different, but the voice is a dead giveaway.)

They are about to sacrifice a canary (who has hair) to their god. Tweety comes to the rescue in a snowball (picking up Hugo the abominable snowman along the way) and bowls over them. He looks just like their god and he demands that they release the bird, and knock off the canary sacrifices. Even though they agree, Tweety is a jerk and still sics Hugo on them. (But he does get their prints as well) He is joined by the other bird named Aooga. (No really.) After getting a stamp at China, the two are blown off course all the way to Mexico. At least they can get a stamp for there. (Courtesy of Speedy) Since they are down there, they stop by Rio as well. Rocky and Muggsy are hiding out there, but they still give them a stamp. And in Argentina they get another one form (Spike/Hector? Marc Antony? Just a bulldog?)

With the south taken care of, they fly back to Japan. (Seems the Slasher is still on the loose.) Afterwards, they decide to take a boat to their next destination. Sylvester has remembered he’s in this movie and prepares to dig in. But he’s caught by a ship hand and thrown in the galley to catch mice. The mice in question are Hubie and Bertie who are living a good life with all the cheese they can eat. Sylvester gives chase, but they use a bucket of soapy water to send him sliding off the ship. Even though he clasps on to the side, Tweety sadistically pries him off, sending him into the shark infested (badly animated) water below. But he does throw him a life saver. (The things he does for Warner Bros.)

The three drift to Australia. There, the passport is stamped by Hippety Hopper. (Why does he have a pouch?) And of course Sylvester thinks he’s a giant mouse. But this is also the home of the Tasmanian Devil who shows up and plans to eat some cat. Sylvester saves his hide, by encouraging a team up so they can both get canary. They chase after the birds on a bike, (Taz really seems to be enjoying himself) but the birds make their getaway with a convenient hang glider. Sylvester leaps onto it, leaving Taz alone in the air. (He holds out Wile E. holding out a ‘mother’ sign.) The birds fly off leaving the cat stuck on the glider, but he bumps into a wind surfer. (Is that the flying fish from “The sour puss” on his sail?) The birds land atop it as well, and ride to their next stop, San Francisco.

With the putty tat still on their tails, the birds ride a skateboard through no-color-ville to escape. Sylvester hops aboard a trolley driven by Yosemite Sam and shoves him out of the way. But he doesn’t really know how to work it, and ends up breaking the brake. With the vehicle out of control the two end up on Alcatraz much to Sam’s anger. The birds head off to Vegas, with Sylvester following on a train, an angry Sam chasing him the whole trip. (He has great endurance.) Once there, Sylvester manages to get Sam taken away on another train, but loses the birds in Chalk Vegas. They are hiding in a casino which just so happens to be full of cats. They are all betting against Tweety. If they were to be spotted, they would probably be chased down. Sylvester exposes their hiding spot and they are chased down. One cat catches Aoogah and I think Tweety shoves a pole up his butt. (What else could he have done with it?) Sylvester meanwhile has caused another cat to hit the jackpot. Pussyfoot is with her, are they related? Also the kitten makes itself comfortable on Sylvester’s head. (Adorable)

The two head off again. (The Slasher also is outside. Is that other guy naked?) The two birds head off across the country collecting prints along the way. They eventually make it to New York. (It’s full of Looney Tune advertisements.) They stop for a hot dog at a cart that is by a strange looking man in a trench coat. Tweety asks a weird question to Aoogah: What kind of hot dog would she be if she was one? (What.) Sylvester is the vendor, and plans to eat. During the scuffle, mustard is squirted all over the strange man, exposing him as Marvin. This confusion gives the birds a chance to get to the airport. Tweety is sad that the fun is almost over, and decides for one more challenge he’ll fly back to London on his own. He leaves his ticket with the stewardess and the birds head out. Sylvester meanwhile makes a pretty poor excuse for a poster that is framing Tweety as stealing the Passport. Good thing he showed it to a poor excuse for a cop who believes it. While this does not get him anywhere, he does get Tweety’s ticket. Guess he’ll meet them in London.

The birds meanwhile have flown into a hurricane. Not only does it remove Tweety’s tracker, making the world believe he’s gone, but it separates the duo. (Now all the world has left to enjoy is a man in a barrel. I’m not joking)  And Aooga had the passport! Tweety feels sorry for himself, since it seems like he’s not going to win like he always does. He hears Aooga’s call and lands on an island in the eye of the storm. (Home of the worst CGI trees I’ve ever seen.) Turns out the passport floats and after getting swarmed by some random cats, (Strange, but hey more prints.) They fly off to London once more. Arriving in a pub, they are grabbed by the Slasher. Turns out he was behind the passport theft all along! (Surprise surprise!) He collects the things. He stuffs it in his pocket, and Tweety probably would have been lost if he was alone. But Aoogah snatches it back.

The pollice arrive and the Slahser is forced to take off. Sylvester is with them, still clutching his poster. (I’m not surprised these guys believed it. They probably think all American posters are shoddily made.) Tweety has the passport and is presumed guilty. Sylvester takes it as Tweety is arrested and happily jumps in glee. But what’s this? There are two passports? And Tweety’s checks out. Leaving Sylvester holding the stolen one. Turns out the slasher stuck them in the same pocket he keeps his fish and chips in, and they got stuck together. (Gross.) Sylvester won’t be a bother to them now, but Tweety is sad. According to the subtitle, it’s the 22 and that mean he’s late. But Aoogah points out that they crossed a time zone and actually it is the 21st! There is stilla a chance! (Ummm. The sun rises in the east. So if it’s really the 21st in London, wouldn’t it be the 20th in America?)

They rush to the club. Rimfire points out that there’s only 79 prints. Tweety never managed to actually get Sylvester’s. Taking the passport back, he rushes to the police wagon and gets the last print! Rimfire reluctantly admits defeat, and it turns out one of the other members was Cool Cat all along. And he knew Tweety would succeed. Only someone who is truly cool will admit he’s not the smartest. For finding the missing passport, Tweety is knighted. Sylvester is still heading to prison.

Personal Rating: Looney-tics should have fun seeing how many characters are crammed in here. For them, 3. For the rest…3. (Only because I don’t have a 3.5 rating)

Swallow the Leader

“I came here for a swallow, and I’m not leaving until I get a swallow.”

Does anyone want to play Jacks after dinner?

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1949.

I never mentioned, but last week’s post is one of my favorite Porky shorts. He was offended when he heard that, seeing as how he’s absent for about 80% of the film. To appease him, I’m sharing another one of my favorite of his films that has only him. Enjoy!

Personal Rating: 4 (unless you’re too immature to handle it. Parental discretion is advised.)

We’re not going to be on speaking terms for awhile. So why don’t I just move on to today’s short?

It’s that time of year again. The time when the swallows come back to Capistrano. (I don’t get why the narrator is so amazed that they find their way back every year. Don’t mention pigeons or salmon to him. He might crack.) Naturally, such a phenomenon attracts many bird lovers who come to see the event. And a bird lover is indeed there. A cat with no name is waiting. (I don’t know why he has that collar on. I guess to have some identity? I’ll solve that by calling him Miles. He looks like a miles.)

The scout swallow comes about making sure everything is ready for his flock to nest in. Miles quickly puts a nest together for him. The bird likes the new nest, but why are there teeth in it? He let’s his friend in first. A Mr. In the box, by name. Miles’ neck becomes elongated. He chases the little bird with a net, but has to stop at the edge of the building. The bird drops a brick in his net for him. How thoughtful. The bird finds a metal swallow and paints it to resemble him. Miles takes the bait and swallows it whole. Now he is at the mercy of the bird’s magnet. (One of those horseshoe kind. Has anyone actually seen one of those? Outside of cartoons I haven’t.) He ends up stuck around a pole thanks to the bird, and the bird puts a lever under him. He ends up turning into a test your strength game. Or rather, test the cat’s skull’s strength game. (Ouch.)

Wings, a superman costume, and a gun don’t work, and trying to bait an electric plate with corn, might’ve worked if the bird hadn’t turned it on first. The swallow finds a tooth free nest and jumps in. Jokes on him; the bottom was fly paper. (Or in his case, anti-fly paper.) Miles prepares to enjoy his snack, but it appears he took too long. The rest of the swallow flock appears and chase him out. Determined to get a swallow, Miles sees a sign advertising them. He rushes over and finally gets something in his belly: alcohol. At least he seems happy.

Personal Rating: 3

Porky’s Poor Fish

“To arms! To arms! The cat!”

Directed by Robert Clampett. Released in 1940.

It starts by telling us this is an adaption of the story “20,000 leaks under the ceiling.” (I’d read that. Couldn’t be as boring as its source material.) We see a mouse happily skipping and whistling down the street. A hungry looking cat is close behind. He’s not really trying to be quiet or sneaky, so I’m not too surprised when the mouse makes a sudden turn and the cat ends up in mud. Stupid cat, mice are snake food.

Elsewhere, we see a pet fish shop run by my good friend Porky. (He owns the place, but it’s under new mis-management? I’ll just take that to mean that the fish are in charge of themselves.) Peeking in the window shows a fish that is somehow resting at the bottom of its bowl with its eyes closed. (Must be a new species. I’ve never seen a 14 karat gold fish.) Inside, Porky and the fish serenade us with a song about why they are good pets. And fish puns abound! There are A.C. and D.C. electric eels, (Which aren’t really eels. I know about fi… oh forget it.) a perch on a perch, a mackerel full of holes, and some soles tapping along to the music. There’s even a chorus line of legs dancing. This is what I’m talking about! Maybe I should buy me some of these sexy fish.

The curtain goes up revealing a disturbing octopus is the owner of all of them. (And I take back my comment. Sexy fish are one thing, but sexy mollusks are out of the question. You’d think I’d learn. This gag was used two years earlier in the short “Porky’s five and ten.”) After the song ends, it’s lunch time. Porky goes on his way and I wish I could join him. (That octopus won’t leave me alone now.) As he leaves, the cat from earlier walks by. He happily enters this all you can eat buffet. He reaches into a tank, causing an oyster that looks more like Cecil Turtle than a bivalve, to hide under it’s bed. (Clever pun.) The cat does get his mitts on a cute little fish who is powerless to resist. If only she was a piranha.

Good thing the eels saw the whole thing, and flash a message to the rest of the store. A turtle mounts a seahorse and warns of the danger, a tuna lays an infant-try, (That’s my joke. The tuna clucking is theirs. Chicken of the sea, you know) and a flying fish takes off like a plane. The cat is scared and backs into another tank that contains a hammerhead shark, who bonks him on the head. (Don’t question why you can buy it, purchase today!) One of the eels shocks the cat, and he flings the fish into the air. The flying fish grabs her. I’m really just guessing it’s a her. It has eyelashes, and since fish don’t usually have those, its probably the only way to tell its gender. At least the tuna laid eggs. …That were already fertilized… That’s not how it works!

The cat falls into a tank where he is punched by a mussel. (Another good joke.) I bet you didn’t know those creatures had Popeye’s arms.  The cat flies out of the shop just as Porky returns. Back in street, the cat is pleased to see that mouse from before. He rears to attack, but the mouse growls at him. The cat regresses into the kitten he was on the inside the whole time. Go back to milk, junior. Fish are big-cat food.

Personal Rating: 3

Mouse and Garden

“We’re pals, aren’t we Sylvester?”

The best of chumps.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1960 Nominated for an Academy Award. Lost to the Noveltoon, “Munro”. Which was really good, so I’ll allow it.

Life is hard for Sylvester. If he’s not being anyone’s pet, he doesn’t get any food and is reduced to picking through the trash. At least he’s got a friend. Sam, (voiced by Daws Butler, the same person who voiced many of Hanna-Barbera’s characters, like Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, and Quick Draw) who previously appeared with him in the short “Trick or Tweet” The two are the best of chums. And they’re always willing to share the other’s food. Sylvester takes note of a mouse. It’s small, but it’s got more nutrition than fish bones. Seeing his chance, he ditches Sam and chases the rodent into a boathouse. Unlike most mice in Looney Tunes, this one is not a clever trickster and Sylvester stops it by stepping on its tail.

Sam comes in and Sylvester hides his snack behind a pillar. Somehow, Sam knows about this and hammers Sylvester’s foot and replaces the mouse with a lit firecracker, which Sylvester eats. Sam hides the mouse in a bureau and when Sylvester asks what’s in it, Sam claims it’s nothing. Sylvester pokes his head in and comments that he’s right. Sam finds the mouse in his friend’s mouth. Now that they both know the other is aware, they decide to put the mouse in a jug  that they dangle from a rope, promising to share it in the morning. (Hope they don’t mind if he dies, there can’t be an air supply there.) The two sleep on a bed that’s there and Sam dreams of a mouse feast. (Sylvester dreams of hitting Sam for dreaming of said mouse.)

Sam attempts to get the mouse but is caught in the act. Since he can’t be trusted, Sam is tied to the bed. Sylvester attempts, but Sam mallets his head. (All while still tied to the bed.) Sam tries to reach the jug from the water below, using a pipe as a snorkel. Sylvester puts another firecracker down it. (Is he walking on water?) Sam spits it back up a few times, before Sylvester plugs it up. To finally stop this whole thing, the two agree to be tied together. But later, Sylvester ties more string on the line so he can get the mouse without Sam waking up. He ties Sam’s end to a motorboat, but Sam wakes up and catches him. He ties Sylvester’s tail to the boat and exposes him.

Unaware that he’s now the one tied up, Sylvester announces his plans to have Sam be taken away. Sam points out that he switched the lines and shakes Sylvester’s hand/paw in farewell. The boat takes off with Sylvester, Sam, and the jug all being taken along. They crash and the two cats make it to an offshore rock. As the mouse (somehow escaped) floats back to land in the jug, the two cats continuously kick each other as we iris out.

Personal Rating: 3

A Peck O’ Trouble

“Well, I know what I want for breakfast.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1953.

Well, well. Look who’s back. Hope you don’t like these two too much. This is the last of two shorts that they stared in. It starts off like a continuation of the last one, as Dodsworth is outside, and no longer a pet. What Dodsworth is wanting is a woodpecker. (Very similar to the one Sylvester hunted in “Peck up your troubles.”) Naturally he gets pecked when climbs after it. At least he does mark the tree the bird resides in. (Not in the way you’re thinking of! I meant with a pen.) He’s still too lazy to do this himself. Or maybe he’s just winded from climbing the telephone pole.

As he muses, the kitten from the last short shows up. This time more of a yellowish cream color and sporting a blue bow. Also his eyeballs aren’t green anymore. Dodsworth tells (lies) the kid that he is an old master of bird catching and would be glad to tutor the young one. He agrees, and Dodsy sends him up the tree. The woodpecker hands the kitten a bowling ball which causes him to plummet and land on Dodsworth, crushing his tiny head into his “teacher’s” body. (Which briefly turns white. He must’ve been really scared.) Next attempt has Dodsy flying a kite with a kitten for a tail. (Cat-tail anyone?) Reaching in, the kid grabs a firecracker the bird lit and brings it down to his teacher. It blows up inside him. The kitten then unwinds a ladder to climb up with, while the Dods-ster will hold it steady. The woodpecker undoes it and Dodsworth gets caught in between the rungs. The kitten comes to free him. (Entering from the wrong side of the screen I might add.) and unwinds it leaving his tutor in only his boxers.

They try a pole. The woodpecker places some nitroglycerin on top of it and pecks it away. Dodsworth doesn’t even try to get away and takes it like a man. Telling the kitten it’s his last chance, he shoots him up with a crossbow. There is a brief scuffle that ultimately stops. Dodsy is convinced that the kid stole his breakfast. Another bowling ball lands on his head. It has a note in it from The Kitten this time. Apparently his name really is The Kitten. (All pigs call their offspring ‘Babe’, all cats call theirs ‘The Kitten’.) Speaking of his mother, she told him that if you can’t beat them, join them. He dons a beak and glove to looks like a woodpecker’s crest and joins the bird in pecking. (Not the kind of pecking you’re thinking of! With their beaks. What’s wrong with you today?)

Personal Rating: 3

Kiddin’ the Kitten

“Here comes trouble for Dodsworth.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1952.

This short begins with a lady freaking out over some mice. (Come on, really? I still refuse that any woman in the history of ever has freaked out like this over a mouse.) The mice mock her, and rightfully so. If she’s going to act like this, she deserves to be ridiculed. Of course, maybe if her cat actually caught mice, she might be a little more sane. The cat, Dodsworth, (Interesting name.) would rather just lie about eating sardines. The mice don’t fear him in the slightest and take one of his snacks for their own. The woman tells the cat to cat-ch them, (heh-heh) or he’s out of the family.

Work is not something he’s too keen on. Apparently no one in his family had to stoop to such lows. What he really needs is someone to do it for him. With that idea in mind, he puts a sign outside claiming it’s a school of mousing. (M.U. we’ll call it.) Almost right away, he’s got someone interested. A little kitten that actually is pretty cute. (Maybe in part, because I think it looks more like a dog than anything.) Despite the bow, Dodsworth refers to it as a male, so I guess I have no choice but to do likewise. (But I’m still going to give it the genderly ambiguous name of Riley.)

His teaching method states that experience is all you need. He hooks Riley to a fishing hook and tells him to tug when he’s caught a rodent. The kitten is cast into the kitchen. The mice are not scared. (Why should they be? In a house where potential dangers either laze about or act hysterical…) but Riley gives chase regardless, cornering one into a hole. He puts some cheese on his middle finger and the now dazed mouse takes it. Riley then flicks his finger, (or toe I suppose) on to the mouse’s head knocking him out. Now back with the teacher, he learns that getting one mouse at a time is not good enough, and he’s cast out again. So he gets a big wheel of cheese and fills it with ball bearings. (Why were they in the fridge?) The mice either don’t chew their food, or they just possess the strongest teeth of all rodents and gobble it down.

Riley tugs back on the line and when he’s pulled back, uses a magnet to attract them all to him. Hearing his lady approaching, Dodsworth quickly gives him a diploma and shoos him out. Walking to the cage of mice, he takes credit for the work. I guess Riley figured it was weird to be rushed out so fast, as he came back to witness the whole thing. In retaliation, he lets all the mice go. The woman acts pathetic again, and Dodsworth is bound and gagged. Riley then chases them all out saving the day. Later, Dodsworth has apparently been kicked to the curb as Riley now occupies his bed and had his name crossed out. But I think he should have kept the name. It suits him now that he has adopted Dodsworth’s habits. Seeing this, the mice come back and pick up where they left off. Riley-sworth quotes the original, “One of these day’s I’m going to have to buy myself a mousetrap.”

Personal Rating: 3