Author: Dr. Foolio

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Hillbilly Hare

“Ya’ll care to practice with me for th’ square dancin’ tomorrow?”

When you as many enemies as Bugs Bunny, you feel the need to take a vacation every once in a while. Bug’s is relaxing in the Ozarks where he angers a hillbilly known as Curt Martin. His family is in a feud with another called the Coys. So he declares war when Bugs notes that he is very coy. His gun takes to long to fire however, giving Bug’s an easy chance to tie a knot in his gun. Curt unties it just for it to fire in his face. This act was spied by his brother, Pumpkinhead who also decides to kill Bugs. He doesn’t fare much better as Bugs switches the gun around to face back at its owner.

The main gag of this short starts with Bugs disguising himself as a woman and asks the smitten men to practice square dancing with “her.” While dancing, Bugs switches places with the caller and directs the boys into hurting each other pretty bad. They are obviously aware of whats going on, (as evidenced by their faces) and yet they continue to obey. Is that one of the hillbilly commandments? (“Thou shall not wear shoes”, “Thou shall always hate some other family”,” Thou shall never disobey a square dance”?) Bugs makes them walk into a hay baler, a pig pen, and finally off a cliff.

Personal Rating: 4

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Rebel Rabbit

“Rabbits are perfectly harmless.”

Bugs finds a sign in the forest that says foxes are worth $50.00. A bear is $75.00. A rabbit is only 2 cents. This bothers Bugs, who goes to Washington D.C. to complain. ( I don’t really get it. Are these paid for killing animals who are pests? Or do you just get paid if you kill an animal? Pretty mean if you ask me.) The game commissioner tells Bugs the reason for this is because rabbits are harmless. (Even in real life that’s wrong. They have sharp teeth and claws.) Obviously, this guy had no idea who Bugs is, and he is going to pay for it.

To prove rabbits are worth more than they think, Bugs is going to make Earth hell. He starts small by breaking someone’s kneecap and painting stripes on the Washington Memorial, but quickly moves on to turning off Niagara falls, filling in the Grand Canyon and sawing Florida off of the country. A meeting is held where Foghorn is a man suit demands Bugs be caught. (He talks just like him. Bugs even says his “That’s a joke” line. The fact McKimson directed this proves this is not just a coincidence. And I like it.) Bugs is declared a threat, and he is now worth one million dollars. Unfortunately, he is also now in Alcatraz for his crimes to the world. Or at least the Western hemisphere.

Personal Rating: 3

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Hare Do

“I have more fun than people.”

For this round of hunting, Elmer has a “wabbit detector.” It picks up Bugs who gives clues to Elmer to where he is and leads him off of a cliff. Bugs runs and catches a cab saying that only early risers can catch him. Elmer the driver mentions that he got up at a quarter to five. (Yes, he actually got one on Bugs this time.) Bugs runs into a theater to hide.

He clambers over people to get a seat, repeats to get a carrot, repeats to go back to his seat, and repeats when Elmer chases him. Elmer clambers over the people and an old woman (Bugs) beats him for this repeated gag. When Elmer tries to fight back, he gets thrown out. Elmer comes back in, finding  a message on the screen that informs him that he is wanted at the front. When he goes to retrieve the message, Bugs throws a pie in his face.

The chase resumes and Bugs hides in the men’s room. After Elmer runs in Bugs switches the signs and calls the usher. Fudd is again thrown out. He comes in again, but gets caught in stampedes of people leaving the intermission to smoke and returning to the film afterwards. Bugs is the one changing the sign and his fun ends when Elmer escapes. He chases Bugs to another theater where Bugs plays usher and gets Fudd to sit down. Thanks to the sunglasses on, Fudd is unaware that Bugs places him on a unicycle that leads into a lion’s stomach. The lion gets lunch and Bugs gets applause. A happy ending for all.

Personal Rating: 3

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Wackiki Wabbit

“Ah! White man!”

Don’t let the title fool you. There is no Fudd in this short.

Our main characters are two castaways. Let’s call them Fatty and Slim. They must have been afloat for days because they are trying to eat one another without the other one noticing. That is until they spot an island. They arrive and explore their new locale. They spot Bugs and immediately declare him food. (It’s official. They’re gonna starve.) Bugs runs and they find him doing a tribal dance. He spouts some long gibberish which translates to “What’s up, Doc?” Then he says something short which is translated as a huge saying. Slim thanks him and his words get translated into Bug’s dialect. (“Did you say that?” Fatty asks.) Bugs dances and they join in allowing him to escape.

Consulting their book on the Sea Islands, (as opposed to the numerous land ones.) they learn that the natives dive into water to retrieve coins. (No, I don’t know where they got the book.) After they toss a coin into their cauldron of water, Bugs steals the whole thing. Luckily for them, he uses it as a bath and doesn’t notice what it’s intended for until he joins in their singing of “We’re gonna have roast rabbit!” He goes to his tree house and attaches a chicken to some strings. He freaks out the men by making it look like the chicken is scolding them. However the strings tangle causing the puppet to reveal Bugs. They pull on the strings bringing Bugs with it.

He runs and takes the chicken meat with him. The men break down and cry. Then to their luck, a boat arrives. They are so happy they fail to notice Bugs has switched places with them, until the boat vanishes over the horizon. They see each other as food before chasing each other into the hills. (Personally, my money’s on Slim) I’ve heard a rumor this short was based on a real experience of Jones where he was shipwrecked. Anyone know if that’s true?

Personal Rating: 3

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Acrobatty Bunny

“Iron bars do not a prison make. But they sure help, eh doc?”

Wow! a new record of people visiting? More than 10? You like me! You really like me!

The first Bugs Bunny short directed by Robert McKimson begins with the circus coming to town. All the noise disturbs Bugs who is sleeping underground. (For the record, elephants wouldn’t make that much sound.) A lion’s cage is put right over Bug’s rabbit hole. The lion investigates the hole, causing more distress for Bugs. Bugs goes up to see what the deal is.

The lion (dubbed Nero by Bugs) begins to chase the rabbit. Bugs leaves and renters the cage to confuse the feline who is now on the outside and locked out. Nero tries to use an elephant to break back in. Bugs unleashes a wind up mouse which sends the pachyderm into hysterics and uses the lion to bat at the mouse. Bugs dresses up as an operatic circus clown and urges Nero to laugh. No sooner does he, when Bugs smacks him with a mallet.

The chase continues into the big top and onto the trapeze. In the end, Bugs tricks Nero into climbing into a cannon just as Bugs lights the fuse. Dazed and confused, Nero is taken advantage of by Bugs who uses the lion as a new act. A hula dancing lion.

Personal Rating: 3

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Case of the Missing Hare

“Look Doc! Do I go around nailing signs over your house?”

So this cartoon begins with a magician nailing signs everywhere to advertise his show. (At least, I think so. He does it very subtly.) The magician’s name is Ala Bahma. He is in the middle of nailing a sign over a tree. Bugs burst out. Apparently he lives in a tree now. (I guess Ala nailing a sign over a hole in the ground would be a little TOO weird. Even for a cartoon.) Ala is a jerk and quickly nails a new one. When Bugs complains, Ala throws a “blacksberries” pie in his face and leaves laughing. Bugs is not amused.

Later at his show, Ala prepares for his first trick: pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Cue Bugs. He pulls himself out of the hat, and steals Ala’s applause. He tells Ala to tempt him with a carrot. Ala tries to do so, but Bugs hits him over the head with his hammer. Later, Ala nails his hat shut so Bugs can’t bother him any more. His next trick requires a young boy’s assistance. Bugs comes up (dressed up in a Pinocchio like get up,) and Ala explains the trick. Bugs will be in a basket and Ala will seemingly stick swords into him. While doing so, Bugs appears to squeal in pain in the basket. (One of the greatest Looney Tunes moments ever.)

Ala finds Bugs is the one handing him the swords, so Ala prepares to murder him and Bugs plays “red light green light” with him. To finish off, he gives him an exploding cigar. The magician is dazed and in a sense of poetic justice, Bugs hits him in the face with another “blacksberries” pie.

Personal Rating: 3

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Homeless Hare

“Well toodles, do I get my home back or do I have to get tough?”

Sorry for lack of updates last week. It was my birthday and I did not feel doing my mediocre, tiny blog posts that I call “working”. But now I’m back, and ready with a new short!

At a construction site, Bug’s house is accidentally dug up. Despite asking very politely to put his home back, the worker dumps ‘im into a pile. The worker (who Bugs dubs Hercules) laughs until Bugs drops a brick on his face with a note that declares war. Hercules hops in an elevator and tries to reach Bugs who is controlling the elevator and he ultimately sends Herc into a vat of wet cement.

Bugs dresses as a foreman and demands that Herc build a huge tower. At the top Hercules is balancing on a thin board balanced by a pile of bricks. Bugs takes great delight in removing them one by one. (Best scene of the picture, right there.) Herc gets his revenge by swinging an I beam into Bugs’ face, which sends him on a dazed walk where in the classic cartoon way, he is saved by various machinery before falling into a rain barrel.

Bugs devises a clever plan, and drops a red-hot rivet which travels along a complex path before landing on a rope, burning said rope, and dropping a huge piece of machinery on Hercules. He concedes defeat and agrees to give his home back. The building gets built still, but now it’s built around Bugs rabbit hole.

Personal Rating: 4

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Bowery Bugs

“Sorry, Mac! Me luck’s run out!”

In the only Bugs Bunny cartoon to be directed by Arthur Davis, we find Bugs telling some random old man the story of how a man named Steve Brody jumped off the Brooklyn bridge. (For the record: Brody was a real guy, and he survived his fall. He did not, however, sound like Billy Bletcher.) The tale starts with Brody deciding that his life needs a lucky charm and so he goes in hunt of a rabbits foot. (Why are just they considered lucky? Surely the rest of the body it is attached to counts for something.)

Bugs eludes injury by telling the fellow to visit someone known as the Swami Rabbitima instead. Brody ( for the record, is voiced by Billy Bletcher) goes and finds this swami. (Bugs in disguise.) The swami tells him that a man with a carnation will be his lucky mascot, if he keeps him nearby at all times, success is sure to follow. Brody finds this man, (Bugs in disguise.) and drags him to a casino. He wins nothing and gets booted out to…boot.

He heads back to the “swami” for revenge but forgets it after he is told that he will find true love. He spots a girl (Bugs in disguise…again.) who acts offended and gets Brody in trouble with a cop. Back with the “swami.” He asks why Brody why he wants good luck so bad. Brody just wants some dough. That’s a fair request, right? The swami tells him where he can gets lots of it. Brody ends up at a bakery, baked into a pie by the baker. (Bugs in… oh screw it.) Brody realizes that the baker IS Bugs and deduces that he was everyone else too. Driven to insanity, he jumps. Bugs finishes his story and the old man buys it. (Literally.)

Personal Rating: 3

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The Wabbit who came to Supper

“Oh, that you Murt? How’s every little ting?”

Bugs is on the run from Elmer and his pack of dogs. Just as he is about to meet his fate, Fudd (in his fat design) gets a telegram. Elmer’s uncle Louie has just decided that when he dies his $3,000,000.00 will go to Fudd. There’s just one catch: no harming animals. Especially Rabbits. (I dunno, maybe its a test to see if he’s worthy? Or Louie just really loves animals. Rabbits in particular.) Elmer grants Bugs his freedom and goes home to find the wabbit in his shower.

Elmer pulls a gun on him, but Bugs reminds him of his Uncle’s words. Elmer begs Bugs to leave and ultimately locks him out of the house. Bugs puts on a act that he is dying in the cold, and mentions that the scene should get him an academy award. (Here’s a legit question: WHY DIDN’T LOONEY TUNES GET ONE TIL 1948!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?) But clearly I digress. Elmer brings him in and caters to his every whim.

Soon he gets a note telling of his uncle’s passing. However, dues to tax deductibles it ends up with Elmer actually owing money. Free of his burden, he chases Bugs. Bugs tries to pass it off as New Year’s Eve, and pulling his drag routine for the first time, before finally running from the house. But at least he was kind enough to leave Elmer a gift: An Easter egg full of little rabbits.

Personal Rating: 3

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Easter Yeggs

“Remember: keep smiling.”

Just in time for Easter we have a Easter-themed short to talk about. Ironically, the first time I saw this was on Easter. (It was on DVD, so it WAS a coincidence.)

We open with Bugs reading, when he overhears some sobbing. It’s the Easter Rabbit bawling his eyes out. He claims his feet hurt and Bugs decides to take over the deliveries for him. The E.R. confides to us that he always gets some idiotic rabbit to do his work for him. (I don’t know what his problem is. Even when Bugs leaves he still is whining.) Bug’s first stop is the home of a character fans refer to as “The Dead End Kid” (Hes teething on a gun, Bugs. I wouldn’t hang around.) Bugs gives him an egg, but the brat just breaks it and demands more. (This is the kind of kid you’d want to strangle if you met.)

Bugs can’t put up with him and grabs his arm. The kid screams and his giant family appear, shooting guns at Bugs. Bugs is ready to quit, but E.R. convinces him to try once more. The next stop is Fudd’s house and judging by those signs he has in his front yard, he’s ready for Easter. His plan is to kill the Easter Rabbit and make stew. (“How the Fudd stole Easter”? It has potential.) He disguises himself as a baby to lower suspicions but Bugs is now wary of children sitting alone, and breaks the egg in Fudd’s hands. The chase begins.

Elmer digs a pitfall which Bugs falls into, and floats away when Fudd tries to flood him out. They both enter a hollow log and come out the tunnel of love. Bugs tries to use magic to keep Fudd occupied, but the rabbit he pulls out of a hat is E.R. telling him to get back to work. The chase resumes with Bugs running from Fudd, the rabbit, and even the brat returns. Bugs solves two of his problems by trapping Elmer in a door and painting his head like an Easter egg, which draws the kid to him with a hammer.

The E.R. sees a rather large egg (probably belongs to a moa) and figures Bugs forgot to deliver it and decides to do it himself. It turns out to be a bomb, which Bugs lights. (I can’t figure out if he was planning that or not.)

Personal Rating: 4