Category: Honey

Any cartoon that had an appearance by Bosko’s honey of a gal.

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Bosko’s Mechanical Man

“Oh, suh-wish.”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Thomas McKimson. A Looney Tune released on September 27, 1933.

It’s the final Harmon/Ising film with this studio, which means it’s also the last Bosko short with them. Coming out just a few months after a certain mouse’s “…Mechanical Man”, it feels original enough due to robots not being exclusive to Disney. (Just Blue Sky, who wasn’t around yet.)

Honey does some window washing, giving Bosko an opportunity to trace “I love you” in the water. (From the wrong side mind you. Oops.) He even picks the flowers in front of her house as a gift. Usually in cartoons, that’s what the villain trying to marry for money does. (I was hoping Honey would thank him and plant them right back.) Honey is very happy to see the kid, as he can help her wash some dishes. Bosko laughs at the very idea. I mean him? Doing a woman’s work? Let’s all laugh as the scene fades.

Fade in to see Bosko helping out like a good boy. (Love his sour face.) Of course, being a man means he’s going to eventually do something dumb to catch his crush’s attention. In this case, carrying too many plates at once and heading outside. Honey angrily stomps outside once she hears the crash and glares at him. Just glares. But she’s disappointed and that’s really the worst punishment. She’s not going to forgive this one easily.

Bosko catches sight of the daily paper which is kinda light on the “news”. The top story is just the technocrats of the world proclaiming that robots will one day be doing most of our work. (It’s like that time I made the front page predicting that everyone older than me was likely to die before I did.) It doesn’t matter if I think it’s a waste of ink and trees, Bosko’s got an idea. And he doesn’t even need any sort of engineering degree to put it together. Just a some irons here, a stove there…

Honey demands he get back inside which is confusing. Wouldn’t she want him as far away from her china as possible? Like in China? But Bosko is sure about about this. His positivity is instantly challenged when Bosko Jr. is brought to life. It’s got no reason to be, but angry and murderous it is. It runs amok and you’d be smart to lock your doors, but only if you lived in Fort Knox. It can break down doors. Piano music can calm it, but only if you keep playing. And why would Bosko do that if his life depended on it? He’s got no future at Warners.

Honey to the rescue! She realizes that what this robot needed all along was a phonograph in its butt. Why are you making that face? Do you need to read the sentence again? She realizes that what this robot needed all along was a phonograph in its butt. Happy? He sings along to the record, but it has a crack and he skips a lot. He’s not placated and chases the two out of the house. They pass the sleeping Bruno (Who’s just been outside the whole time. Guess they just wanted to show him one last time, too.) but the robot stops to shock the dog awake letting the doorbell wiring go through his body. And he has pupils now. (And your eyes would dilate too if you had what he had crammed up there.)

The three are chased, but Bosko is able to keep his loved ones safe by hurling some dynamite down his creation’s throat. The robot is dead which is a shame since he wasn’t really alive at any point. And I’m still wondering why he was motivated to act like he did. Did Bosko program him to feel pain? I figure having a stove potbelly does give you eternal heartburn.

Favorite Part: A small thing, (as most of my favorite parts are) but I love the robot’s grinding teeth being the teeth of gears that are grinding. Clever.

Personal Rating: 2. Not a horrible film to end on. (Hint. Develop some new characters at MGM, guys. I’m begging ya 91 years late!)

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Bosko the Musketeer

“Hi-dee hi! Ho-dee ho! Ho-dee hey!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Robert Stokes. A Looney Tune released on September 16, 1933.

Bosko gallivants along to visit Honey. (Bruno briefly appears, but won’t be featuring.) This surely ain’t no surprise visit, as Honey is dusting all things that might be any and every. (Poor fish looks uncomfortable.) Bosko arrives just as she finishes dusting a painting of the three musketeers. Truly awesome folks, eh Bosko? He’s not too impressed and starts fencing with an umbrella while his honey, Honey, sings.

And suddenly the screen dissolves to Bosko actually BEING a musketeer and fencing with a SWORD against four adversaries. Sounds like a daunting task, but Bosko’s got a an arm up his sleeve that can do a trick. Namely, letting the gauntlet do all the work while it nips out to unleash keg contents on the four anti-musketeers. Speaking of, counting Bosko we’ve got one short musketeer and two short. And a name like that will never sell. Where’s the rest of them?

In the tavern of course. Since their is three of them, I guess Bosko is our D’Artagnan. Can you name the others? I’ve never read the book or seen any film adaptations, so I’m useless. (But I’ve eaten the candy bar several times!) What a pal, Bosko is. Always looking out for those of us who spent our high school years reading “Asterix” comics for our french fix. I now know that they go by Athos, Amos and Andy. (Truly the “Star Wars” of their day if the amount of references is any indication.)

Lets sing! Dance! Have a good time! Drink and be merry! Look! They’re even inspiring Mickey clones 205, 634 and 431. Swell guys, these musketeers. Even if they do have a habit of using oddly quick cuts to down their drinks. The whole place loves these guys! And yes, that includes clone 511. But it doesn’t include the obvious villain; a man with really hairy hands, or prickly pears attached at his wrists. And now Honey arrives. Is she part of Bosko’s imagination? Or did she take over telling the tale so she could self-insert herself into it? Who imagines the imaginer?

Well, she’s not in period appropriate clothing, so I guess Bosko is the creator of all we’re seeing. (That’s why she can be as topless as she always is.) Obvious villain grabs her, which can’t be at all pleasant with whatever extremities he has coming out of his arms. Bosko to the rescue as the other three have suddenly ceased to exist. Or maybe they’re just giving him a chance to prove himself? Sword dueling commence! Both are evenly matched and damage to their weapons doesn’t automatically mean they’re out. O.V. has a caddy, and Bosko’s sword fits in the pencil sharpener.

Bosko is ultimately the victor because he places a shovelful of hot coals into his adversaries pants. Thus bringing Bosko’s little power trip to a close. But Honey doesn’t believe any of it. (Was Bosko claiming it really happened?) So Bosko busts out the big question: “Was you there, Charlie?” (But… you had her there. So were you really rescuing some homely lady the whole time and you just inserted your girlfriend to get brownie points?)

Favorite Part: While Honey entertains the tavern with a dance, Bosko can’t help but gush about her to the nearest patron. It’s sweet.

Personal Rating: 2. Pretty standard Bosko saves Honey plot. If you’re thinking the two should retire by this point, don’t worry. They only had two more shorts with the W.B. after this.

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Bosko at the Zoo

“GET IN THERE!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Larry Martin. A Looney Tune released on January 9, 1932.

As someone who has loved animals from the moment he exited the womb, I’ve also always been a fan of zoos. Granted, as an adult I now know that not every one of them is on the up and up, but I still think they get a bad rap. Many of them are really trying these days, people! What I’m trying to say is, I’m envious that Bosko would rather take his girlfriend on a zoological outing rather than me. (Even if that does mean I’d have to ride on his handlebars.)

For the time being, it looks rather nice. The habitats are spacious enough, and it looks sanitary. Bosko’s nose even turns white. (That means it’s a good’un.) Honey’s a wee bit scared of the lion, (Wimp.) but she is fairly interested in the aquarium section. (Oh!… um… I… I’ll just wait for you over by the exit. I’m sorry I intruded on your alone time!) The fish inside the tank have lots of fun, playing leap-frogfish, and using an octopus as a maypole, but the sad reality is that they are just the fodder for the larger fish in the tank. (Nice touch making Bosko and Honey all wiggly. Really adds to the illusion of bent light.)

By this point, an ostrich gets a hold of Bosko’s hat. Since there isn’t any employees around, Bosko is free to chase the bird into the enclosure. He actually manages to keep pace with the bird, and grabs it. In turn, his hat is swallowed. Bosko ain’t having none of that, and forces the bird to lay an egg. Even though the black coloring suggests this ostrich is male, it manages to get an egg out, and Bosko’s hat is within.

The ostrich is upset, and probably humiliated by this, so Bosko plays a pipe to cheer it up. (Honey is just gone by this point. Either walked home, or was thrown to the bears.) This really gets the place jumping. The beavers beat their tails and the kangaroos in the same habitat, dance. (Is Bosko just in a zoo? Oh, yeah. He really is this time.) Some monkey’s scratch themselves to the beat, but they get serious when one of them really needs his friends help to remove his itch.

The friend pulls out whatever it was, and puts it on a plate. But he only pretends to eat it. So when the other monkey tries to help himself, he gets a fork in his hand. This really pisses Bosko off for some reason, and he marches into their enclosure to spank the monkey. (I still mean that literally after four years! Sheesh.) Just like the last time he did that, he angers a gorilla who shares the space. He ain’t happy and chases Bosko through the suddenly much larger area. (Watch the teleporting monkey!)

Even though I could have sworn this was on level ground, Bosko has to jump out of the enclosure, (Which just has an exit. That’s dangerous on so many levels, including ground and where we are now.) and he lands on a lion. No clue if this is the one from earlier, but it gives chase. Bosko runs along with the ostrich and walrus also in the habitat. (More fodder. On another note, that pinniped is keeping remarkable pace with the bird.) They have no choice but to stop at a wall. As zoo animals, they have no proof that anything even exists beyond it!

Bosko leaps atop the wall, and the lion crashes into the other two. In turn, the three animals are combined into some kind of horrifying chimaera that must live whatever short life it has left in bitter agony. And Bosko is quite cheery if his smile is any indication.

Favorite Part: The whole cartoon went by, and not once did they make the stupid joke about ostriches burying their heads in fright! It’s an animated miracle!

Personal Rating: 2

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Big Man from the North

“Get your man!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Robert Edmunds. A Looney Tune released in February of 1931.

No, the title isn’t referring to someone like Santa or Michael Moore. We mean “big” in the figurative sense. Bosko is a member of the “Mounted Police.” He may be small, but he’s also timid. (Which makes him braver than I.) Who might the villain of this picture be, anyway? Some fellow who looks a little like a cross between Peg-leg Pete and a homeless ursine. (What do you want from me? I’m “creative clever”, not “funny clever.”)

Snow time like the present! (I’m ashamed I said that.) Bosko heads out to serch with his mismatched dog sled team. Yuppy, Yoppy, and Yahoopy. They may not be the best dogs around, but they don’t give up. Don’t matter how bad the weather gets! They stay on their course, despite all the contortioning their bodies go through. Even getting smushed against a building and becoming one single, horrendous, abomination creature doesn’t faze them all that much. (I’m so proud and nauseous.)

Said building is a saloon. Seems like there’s people inside it too. Looks like Bosko will have to suck in his fear, and check to see if his adversary has chosen such a place to hide out. Why! This place isn’t scary! In fact, I’d say it’s downright merry! Everybody is smiling, dancing, and enjoying the entertainment that Honey is providing. And since Bosko IS dating her, he has every right to hop up next to her and perform a little as well. (You’ll never find a better hand-blower-player in the world. I’ll see to it.)

Unfortunately, all that did was whet Bosko’s appetite for applause. Time for some ivory tickling! (He even has some backup provided by the angriest beavers this side of Nickelodeon.) Either nobody wanted to hear Bosko play, or they just knew his music would attract an antagonist. Either way, they leave just in time for Leg’s a peg Zeke to waltz in like he owns the place, and fire every which way. This looks like a job for the Mounted Police! Bosko has a gun at the ready, and a hand that can change from black to white. (I wish I could do that. Ladies can’t resist such a cute trick) Too bad his gun is a pop gun. Things look bad.

BLACKOUT! It really is Bosko’s only option. Dousing the lights gives him a bit of advantage, as his chromatically challenged skin blends in perfectly with the absence of light. (Zeke however, is a rather bright shade of black, so he is always visible. Can’t you see him?) With the thug disoriented, Bosko is able to get a hold of a machine gun and unload it into the big guy’s posterior. Then, all it takes is a little action with a sword, and a rifle to reveal that under his fur, he was as naked as the rest of us. With his source of power gone, the brute flees into the distance as everyone conveniently comes out of hiding to cheer Bosko on. (Including Mickey clones 540 and 176. They might be my favorites.)

Favorite Part: That sword I mentioned? Bosko doesn’t just poke the guy. He freakin’ impales him with it! Seriously, I don’t think it could go in any further without sticking out the other end! The Mounted Police don’t f*ck around.)

Personal Rating: 2

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Bosko at the Beach

“Is there a lifeguard in the audience?”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6wsheh

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Rollin Hamilton; Music by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released on July 23, 1932.

What does a character like Bosko do at the seaside? The occupation many black and white toons tried their hands at: hot dog vendor. (Like all toon food, the wieners are still alive. I’m sorry, but I don’t fancy the idea of chewing on something that wiggles. Jiggling is fine) These must be some dang, fine sausages as the local wildlife beach themselves just to get a taste. No, wait. The octopus and seahorses were only coming ashore to pretend to be a carousel. They are then ridden by some clams. (I wish I could say the self sacrifice was worth it to make those mollusks smile, but they ditch their shells to ride! They will all die! At least the gulls will have a good time.)

And where would a hot dog purveyor be without an actual dog? Much like Mickey had Pluto, Bosko has Bruno. And wouldn’t you know it? He makes the five appearance rule! Let’s do a quick learn about him, shall we?

Bruno

If possible, Bruno had less personality than Honey, because he was only a dog. He didn’t even speak.

That was fun.

This beach doesn’t seem like MY ideal lounge spot. Bruno steps on a nail! It’s hard to enjoy ones self with lockjaw, but I suppose with the right attitude, anything is possible. Bosko is kind enough to remove it from his dog, but doesn’t bother disposing it correctly. He just tosses it on the ground. (I’m sure it will find a nice home. Little children love to run around without shoes!)

Honey is also at the beach. She’s accompanied by some cat-like creature named Wilber. He appeared in a few cartoons, but I don’t think five. Either way, I can’t find a picture of him. Nobody cares about Wilber. Perhaps that is why Honey is happy to let him play in the ocean, unsupervised. Honey has better things to do, once she sees that her boyfriend is there, she changes out of her swimwear and gets on her usual attire. (I don’t she she is wearing the bra she took in the changing booth. I guess she just enjoys stealing other women’s lingerie. The little minx!)

Bosko enjoys the idea of sharing a picnic with her, but Bruno is not one to be ignored. He wants to play, and darn it! Bosko is a great person to play fetch with. He throws the stick to try and be rid of the friendly dog, but said dog brings back increasingly large pieces of wood. The last one upends their picnic once dropped on it.

Wilber, meanwhile, has been having fun in the sea, but the waves finally get a hold of him, and begin dragging him away. (If you are caught in the current, you belong to the sea now. That is my rule. That is also why you don’t hear from my son anymore.) Since Bosko is the only guy in this short, it is up to him to be the hero. (Once he jumps in the water, a bathing suit magically appears. Or the anchovies undressed him. I like my first answer) The waves are fierce, and Bosko struggles to rescue the child. This is why you never send a Bosko to do a dog’s work. Using a log and a fan, (which is clearly not plugged in. And that means Bruno must turn it manually.) He makes a boat and saves the two castaways.

Favorite part: Bosko announces his wares with a cry of “Hot dogs!” It’s also the same thing when he sees his girlfriends silhouette.

Personal Rating: 3

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Beau Bosko

“Snap out of it!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Norm Blackburn. A Looney Tune released on July 1, 1933.

Today, we find Bosko in a Foreign Legion outpost. The troops are pretty close as at least two of them share the same bed. However, it is time to wake up and get to doing whatever it is these guys do. That includes Bosko, who is heavily sleeping. In fact, his uniform wakes up before him. It’s up to his clothes to wake the sleep-ink kid, who once he does awaken takes his place amongst the troops. (Considering the guy in front of him has a sink in his backpack, it seems that Bosko can afford to sleep late every day.)

The general approaches. I don’t know why he singles Bosko out, but it appears that he is the best person to apprehend the picture’s villain, Ali Oop. So, he gets his camel and heads out. His search leads him to a town. To his delight, his girlfriend is also there. (I can’t quite make out what he’s saying. My best guess is it’s “Oh, boy!”, or “Oh, baby!” but it sounds like “Oh, boobies!” But that can’t be. Honey is flatter than a sheet of paper at the bottom of an ocean on a planet bigger than Jupiter!)

Before Bosko can do more than kiss her, Ali and his troops show up. Bosko and Honey take refuge in a building, and luckily for them, someone just left a gun hanging around. Just begging to unleash its majestic killing power on those down below. Good thing Bosko is trained to use such a device. Firing at the men below, he manages to take care of most of them. Not by actually going through with any bloodshed, but more knocking coconuts and pots into the thugs. Even Ali ends up dazed on a cart. Seizing his chance, Bosko seizes some spears and throws them towards Oop. He’s still not aiming to kill, though. The projectiles make a cage around the criminal. Having trapped the scoundrel, the two lovers cart him away.

Favorite part: When the troops are told to wake up, they respond by singing “Good morning to you.” The little smart alecs.

Personal Rating: 2

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Bosko in Person

“Gee Bosko, you’re swell!”

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Bob McKimson. A Looney Tune released on April 10, 1933.

I wasn’t kidding last week when I said I wanted a child. So, I just up and got one. But knowing that he was going to hang around here and occasionally join in the posts, I decided to stick part of my mind in him so he could talk on the same intellectual level as us grownups. Here he is! Introduce yourself. (And use a different font so it is less confusing)

Hᴇʟʟᴏ. Mʏ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ɪs ʙᴏʏ. ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ, ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʜᴇ sᴇᴇs ᴍᴇ ᴀs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀ ᴘᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ᴏᴄᴄᴀsɪᴏɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴀssɪsᴛ ɪɴ ʜɪs ᴡᴏʀᴋ.

Children spread the worst lies! Heh heh. (Keep it up and you’ll not be eating tonight.)

Yᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴʏᴡᴀʏ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴀʙᴜsᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ʜɪɢʜ ꜰᴏʀᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅʏ.

Okay, if you’re such a know-it-all on the art of humor, why don’t you write today’s post? In the meantime, I’ll keep making up names for toons that have done.

Wᴇʟʟ, ɪ ɢᴜᴇss ɪ’ᴍ ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀʀɢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʏ. Mɪɢʜᴛ ᴀs ᴡᴇʟʟ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ. Iꜰ ɪ ᴅᴏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴊᴏʙ, ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡɪʟʟ sʜᴀʀᴇ ʜɪs ᴄᴀᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ.

Tʜɪs ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄᴜʟᴀʀ sʜᴏʀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ʙᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪᴛsᴇʟꜰ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴘʟᴏᴛ. Iᴛ’s ᴊᴜsᴛ Bᴏsᴋᴏ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ʜɪs ᴍᴜsɪᴄᴀʟ sʜᴛɪᴄᴋ.

(Don’t forget to mention that his nose seems to shrink while he is playing the piano.)

Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ? I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ I ᴡᴀs ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ.

I just need to be sure that you follow the major rules. #1. Point out inconsistencies. #2. Name characters. and most importantly #3. Give facts about animals whenever you can.

Iɴ ᴄᴀsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪɴᴅ. Tʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ʀᴇᴀʟ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ ʙᴇᴛᴡᴇᴇɴ ᴜs ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴏɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴀᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ “ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡs” ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴜsᴇ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ.

Speaking of character, stop breaking it!

Tʜᴇɴ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴊᴏʙ.

Fine. But if you get more popular than me, I’m going to bury you in a fire ant hill while you’re coated in honey.

Uɢʜ. I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ. Nᴏᴡ, ʟᴇᴛ’s ᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇ.

Bᴇsɪᴅᴇs ʜɪs ᴘɪᴀɴᴏ ᴘʀᴏᴡᴇss, Bᴏsᴋᴏ ᴀʟsᴏ sʜᴏᴡs ᴏꜰꜰ ʜɪs ᴅᴀɴᴄɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟs. Hᴏɴᴇʏ ᴀʟsᴏ ᴊᴏɪɴs ʜɪᴍ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴅᴜᴇᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ. Sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ.

And if you keep acting like this, you never will know.

I GET IT!

Hᴇʀᴇ’s sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ Bᴏsᴋᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ. Aᴘᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛʟʏ, ᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏꜰ ʜɪs ɢʟᴏᴠᴇs ɪs ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ. Hᴇ sᴇɴᴅs ɪᴛ ʀᴏʟʟɪɴɢ ᴀᴄʀᴏss ᴛʜᴇ ᴘɪᴀɴᴏ ᴋᴇʏs ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ sᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ʜɪs ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢɪɴɢ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇʀꜰʀᴏᴍ.

Wᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢᴍᴇɴᴛ?

? I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ꜰᴏʀ sᴜʀᴇ ʜᴇ’ᴅ ʙᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ sᴍᴀᴄᴋ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴀʀᴋ. Cʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ, ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʟᴏsᴛ ᴍʏ ᴇᴅɢᴇ.

Hɪs ɢʟᴏᴠᴇ, (Oʜ ᴡᴀɪᴛ, ɪ’ᴍ sᴜᴘᴘᴏsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪᴛ ᴀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀʜʜʜʜʜʜʜ, ᴡᴏᴡ. Tʜɪs ɪs ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ɪᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋs. Mᴀʏʙᴇ ɪ’ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀs ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴀs I ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ.)

Hᴇʏ, ᴅᴀᴅ? Wʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴀ ɢʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛᴏ ʟɪꜰᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴄɪᴛᴇs “Mᴀʀʏ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʟᴀᴍʙ”?

Edison.

Wᴏᴡ. ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ? ɪᴍ ʜᴜᴍʙʟᴇᴅ.

Eᴅɪsᴏɴ ɪs ʜᴇsɪᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴇʀꜰᴏʀᴍ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ. Hɪs ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴠɪᴏʟɪɴ. Iꜰ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʜɪᴍ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘᴇᴛ, I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ.

Hᴇ ʜᴏᴘs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏɴᴛᴏ Bᴏsᴋᴏ’s (ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ʙʀɪᴇꜰ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅ) ʜᴀɴᴅ, ᴀɴᴅ Bᴏsᴋᴏ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛʀɪᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜʟʟ ᴏꜰꜰ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇs. Iᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀʀᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ʜᴇ ᴋᴇᴇᴘs ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʜɪs ʀᴇᴀʀ ᴇɴᴅ. Hᴏɴᴇʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴇs ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ʜᴇʀ sʜᴀʀᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ sʜᴏᴡs ᴏꜰꜰ ʜᴇʀ Tᴇss Gᴀʀᴅᴇʟʟᴀ ᴀɴᴅ Gʀᴇᴛᴀ Gᴀʀʙᴏ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴs. Bᴏsᴋᴏ sʜᴏᴡs ᴏꜰꜰ ʜɪs ᴛᴏᴏ. Dᴏɪɴɢ ʜɪs Cʜᴇᴠᴀʟɪᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ Dᴜʀᴀɴᴛᴇ ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴs. Tᴏ ᴇɴᴅ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴏꜰꜰ, Bᴏsᴋᴏ ɢᴏᴇs ᴀʟʟ ᴏᴜᴛ. Pʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴍᴀɴʏ ɪɴsᴛʀᴜᴍᴇɴᴛs ᴀs ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ, ᴡʜɪʟᴇ Hᴏɴᴇʏ ᴅᴏᴇs sᴏᴍᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏꜰ sᴛʀᴏʙᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ. Bᴏsᴋᴏ ᴛʀɪᴇs ʜɪs ɪᴍᴘᴏssɪʙʟᴇ ᴅᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʜᴇ ꜰᴀʟʟs ᴏꜰꜰ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴀɢᴇ.

Tʜᴇʀᴇ. Nᴏᴡ, ʟᴇᴛ’s sᴇᴇ ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ɪs sᴀᴛɪsꜰɪᴇᴅ.

I must admit, you’ve done a great job.

Dᴀᴅ? Yᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʜᴏʟᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ?

Nope, but seeing as how we share a mind, I knew that if you were really my son, you’d type what I wanted to see. I’m proud of you.

Dᴏᴇs ᴛʜɪs ᴍᴇᴀɴ I ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟ ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Nope. Have some cat bacon. It’s much tastier than the pork kind.

Wᴇʟʟ, I ɢᴜᴇss ɪ’ᴠᴇ ʟᴇᴀʀɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪs ʙʟᴏɢ ɪsɴ’ᴛ ᴀs ᴇᴀsʏ ᴀs ɪᴛ ᴍᴀʏ sᴇᴇᴍ. Aᴛ ʟᴇᴀsᴛ I ɢᴏᴛ ꜰᴇᴅ.

Hope you enjoyed hearing from him. I’ll be doing the rest of the posts, but you’ll definitely see him again sometimes.

Personal Rating: 2

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Ride Him, Bosko!

“Howdy Bosko!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Norm Blackburn. Musical Score by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released on January 16, 1933.

At night in a desert, Bosko rides a horse and does what he does best: sing. His ultimate destination is Red Gulch. (“Where men are men, nine times out of ten.”) It really is a place for only the most hardened of man types. A pig walks by a saloon without coming in to buy anything. He is smashed over the head with a liquor bottle. A dachshund does the same thing out of the arms range. The majority of his body is shot off. Real tough place. So, naturally, Bosko will fit right in.

I joke, but it seems that Bosko really is one of the gang. (Even if they greet him with several bullets through his hat) With the regular piano guy out for the time being, Bosko fills in and plays “She’ll be comin’ round the mountain.” and everyone has a great time. But Bosko doesn’t have a partner. Where could she be? She’s comin.’ (Not round the mountain, but comin’ nonetheless) Honey (who else would it have been? Roxy? Fluffy? ?oppih gnikalt sdrawckab ehT) rides along in a stagecoach that doesn’t appear to have any axles attached to its wheels. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but I found it amusing. (If this is the first post you read, you’ll grow accustomed to me going off on many tangents.)

As it makes its way to town, it is being watched by bandits. (Who ride rabid horses, if the foaming mouths are anything to go by.) Since the driver of the coach isn’t going to pull over to be robbed, they give chase. In the process, the driver is thrown off, leaving Honey trapped in a runaway vehicle with gun toting characters and horses that can transmit deadly incurable diseases with their teeth. Also the mortgage is due, and she is about to miscarriage Bosko’s child. (Well, not those last two)

The driver makes it back to town and alerts our hero of whats going on. Wait! I’ve got this! Let me say it! “Ride Her, Bosko!” (D*mn) He gets going and heads to her rescue. And then, probably the most meta of jokes happens in the history of Looney Tunes: the screen pulls back to show Harman, Ising and Freleng looking over their work. Unfortunately, they don’t have any ideas on how to end the picture, so they just head home, leaving a confused Bosko behind.

Personal Rating: 3, but that brilliant ending does tempt me to give it a 4

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Bosko’s Picture Show

“Howdy, howdy, howdy folks!”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Max Maxwell. A Looney Tune released on September 18, 1933.

Bosko is such a musical fellow, it only makes sense that he’d have a job supplying music for entire audiences. And in the era where silent movies were still in the public’s memory, (and a few were still around) we find him playing the organ for such a venue. And he invites us to sing along! So join in the fun! “We’re in the money!” is what we’ll sing.

Please tell me you sang. We love music around here. After such a fun opening number, we sadly have to tone it down a bit and see a news reel. A peace conference is in effect. Look at the pummeling! (Things must be getting better.) People still flock to California’s beaches despite the snow, and a boxer plans a comeback, even though he needs at least one arm to hold his walking stick.

We see footage from a dog race. (Which in itself is taken from “Bosko’s Dog Race”) with the Marx brothers playing a role as dogcatchers. (Odd. But at least they allowed Zeppo to join in the fun this time) And after being told that a famous screen lover is on a European vacation, we get a really weird joke about Hitler chasing Durante with an ax. (…wha?…) Back to the fun things! How about a Haurel and Lardy short? I think Haurel is the fat one, because it would be too obvious if he was Lardy. Today, they are going to steal a pie off a windowsill. But they get to arguing who will eat it, and Lardy smashes it in his friends face. In turn, he is smacked on the head. (And I don’t think his collar has a shirt attached to it, but that’s just me.)

Time for the feature film. A TNT picture called “He Done Her Dirt. (And How!)” Starring Bosko’s girl, Honey! And I just realized that I never gave her a proper post, so let’s do that now.

Honey was Bosko’s girlfriend. She was born to be a love interest and that is all she ever was.

What? What do you mean that doesn’t count? It’s my website! She fits my “five appearances rule” but she doesn’t have enough character to warrant description. She was made to be a love interest and that’s all she ever was. (part 2) She was just Bosko with a dress, high heels, eyelashes, and a bow. (Neither of them was known for wearing shirts.) But if you really need more Honey in your life, here’s a shot of her when she appeared on “Tiny Toons”

As you might have guessed, the “black person” angle wasn’t going to go over so well in the nineties, so he and Bosko were redesigned as generic dog creatures. (And they had the audacity to claim she was Warner Bros. “first female star.” There was no such thing. Sexist it may be, but people tend to freak out if a female receives slapstick.) Let’s return to our regular post, shall we?

Honey is riding a bike. (And the Marx’s are there again. They heard me say “generic dog creature” and needed to check it out for themselves.) The villain of the piece is called Dirty Dalton. Hey, wansn’t that also the name of a Hanna-Barberra character?

I already knew it was. You didn’t need to add that, me.

As I was saying, Bosko is not too keen to see the villain. I know what it sounds like, but I swear he says “The dirty fox.” (Whats this in the gutter? Why, it’s your mind! You should really keep it out of there) Bosko is loyal to his soulmate and is going to save her, whether it’s reality or not. He jumps through the screen to rescue her. Normally, that would result in him entering the movie, but real world rules are applied this time, and he just tears a hole in it. At least, that seemed to work.

Personal Rating: 2

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Sinkin’ in the Bathtub

“Hello, Bosko.”

The one that started it all!

It begins with Bosko taking a bath. (We’re off to a great start!) He plays the song “Singin’ in the Bathtub” in various creative ways. Even his tub joins in the fun. All clean, Bosko goes outside to get his car. It’s not in the garage, it was in the outhouse. (Remember in my second Space Jam article I mentioned the use of SUTBLE bathroom humor? Take notes people.) He now heads out for a date with his girlfriend, Honey. (Not before picking some tulips to the tune of “Tiptoe through the Tulips”)

He arrives to see Honey is still preparing, by taking her own bath. (Bosko! You perv!) She quickly gets dressed and Bosko plans to show her the flowers he got her. While he is not looking, a goat eats the flower heads, and Bosko cries. Honey assures him she still loves him and he happily serenades her with a saxophone. (The goat looks angry, was he trying to ruin their relationship?) Honey is not too pleased with Bosko’s music, so she empties her tub on him. He continues to play as the bathwater greatly improves his music ability. Honey dances on the bubbles to the song “I’m forever blowing bubbles.” They hop in the car and go for a ride.

After getting pass a stubborn cow, they slowly make their way up a steep incline. Bosko gets out to shove the car, and the next thing he knows its out of control going downhill. (Honey doesn’t sound too terrified.) While chasing her, Bosko ends up ahead of her. She crashes through a house (taking a bathtub with her) and they all fall down into a lake. Using the tub as a boat, they continue their date. This would only be the beginning for good ‘ole Termite Terrace.

Personal Rating: 3 (It’s a d*mn impressive start.)