Category: Wilber

A brat of a cat who who isn’t all that… great.

Posted on

Bosko’s Store

“Let’s make whoopy, Bosko.”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Bob McKimson. A Looney Tune released on August 13, 1932.

Bosko owns a store now. You see, soda fountains are a dying trade. So are brick and mortar stores, but I don’t want to think that, much less tell him. I think we’re catching him on opening day, too. Look at all the grime he’s washing off his windows! Either he bought an old building, or he allows patrons to smoke inside the building. If you think the cigs are too costly, all the second-hand smoke is free!

One customer calls to get some bologna. Bosko is the kind of guy who sells only the real artisanal stuff. None of that rectum cancer in a tube they sell in my local delis. He couldn’t afford a store and a deli slicer, so he uses an electric fan to slice the meat. It gives his establishment a distinct aroma of sheep intestines. You’re hungry now, I can tell. And now: for something the opposite of completely different! Probably that same dachshund who robbed Bosko before enters the store. And he’s hungry, I can tell!

He pops the slices into his gullet. You could think that the pile disappeared some since Bosko began, but I say he just moved on to the next tube. Nobody would just buy one sliced loaf. And I’ve got other goofs to mention. Repeat offenders don’t get a chance to pay their dues, so Bosko plans to make sausages out of this hound. In its haste to get away, it runs into the electric fan and is shredded back into its whole self. Pain amuses Bosko, so the dog can live if he isn’t going to suffer from heavy internal bleeding.

Well folks, you know what that means: Bosko will now do a dance. So excited is he, he jumps into place before the background aligns. He’s literally walking on air. Still, he’s got a job to do, so he grabs a duster for some dusting. Got to dust the magic eggs while you can. Once they’re off camera, there’s no guarantee they’re coming back. If you buy them, don’t put them in your trunk. And smash cut to Mickey clone #57. I was too dumb to realize he’s not in the store. I can only assume it’s somebody else’s home as that phone isn’t to his scale.

He’s placing an order, and I’m lying to your face. He was just crank calling Bosko. Probably still bitter about that dunking from the soda fountain. Mice deserve respect because between Disney and Pokémon, I’m pretty sure they already rule the world. And now it’s time to sweep the storefront. You can make a game out of it by using your broom as a dance partner. It’s a sad game, but that’s what I’d expect out of a great depression.

Here comes Honey and Wilber. And-… oh, crud biscuits! Only now am I realizing that he’s managed to reach the “5-appearance tier”. Never thought I’d have to do this again…

Wilber, but I will not.

Wilber is a cat. He’s a kid. He spends most of his time annoying Bosko and by extension, me. No idea who his parents are. I like to imagine that Julius from the “Alice Comedies” would have joined Oswald the Lucky Rabbit in loathing Mickey, but then got a good look at the mouse and started wondering how his arms would feel wrapped around his shoulders and wished the stork would give them a baby and that would win Mickey’s love. Wilber doesn’t give me much to discuss, so I made dumb stuff up instead.

So yeah, Honey and Wilber. One’s as lovable as always and one’s as “lovable” as always. I’m really starting to wonder about your relation to this kid, Hons. Is he your adoptive child? Nephew? Pet? Lunch? Or do you just rent him so Bosko can warm up to the idea of having children with you someday? It’s not going to work. While you two were frolicking to street piano music, Wilber helped himself to some of Bosko’s bananas. No intention of paying whatsoever. When confronted, he squirts some berry in Bosko’s eyes, and loses his tail for a half second.

The banana blast sends Bosko reeling around the room and ends with him stuck in a molasses spill. (Great sound effects here! Sounds sticky and soupy.) Wilber tries to climb to safety, but falls into a meat grinder. Rather than put him out of our misery, it just splits him up into more but mini of himself. Pull yourself together, if you please. I barely enjoy the one. Bosko frees himself by leaving his shoes behind, so Wilber runs some barbed wire against his crotch. Hope the brat was worth it, Honey. No children coming out of that talk-ink kid.

Favorite Part: When dancing with the broom, it tries to make sure Bosko doesn’t put his hands on “her” rear.

Personal Rating: 3.

And now for this trailer in case you’ve still yet to see it:

Using footage from his old pictures: nice. A human using toon standard white gloves to manipulate the world: mega awesome. And I know I spy Gossamar, but could that crowd also be containing Hubie, Hugo, Playboy and Nelly? Be still my Chuck loving fanboy soul! If they could get the Dot and the Line to also cameo, I think my heart, gallbladder and parathyroid might simultaneously stop!

(I kid. I had that last one removed a decade ago.)

 

Posted on

Bosko’s Soda Fountain

“Where’s my ice cream cone?”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Rollin Hamilton. Music by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released on November 14, 1931.

I’ve always wanted to visit an old fashioned soda fountain. Sounds delicious, cozy, friendly, and probably not at all what I’m expecting. Dreams: never accomplish, never disappointed. But with Bosko in charge, I bet it’d still be pretty great. He uses real dairy, soda, and syrup in his concoctions. Mickey Clone 154 says you’ll like them and you should always trust a cartoons opinion over your own. You should, I said.

Smash cut to a hippo! She’s on her way to the shop, of course. The treats on hand or tempting, but the real joy is the fact she has a a history with Bosko. (Foxy too, actually.) She’s his old school teacher, Miss Pitty. Or maybe he’s saying “Bitty”. (Pitty if I’m wrong.) Now I will attempt to relate what they say after that. Pitty: Give me a *hee-hee-hee* a lover’s delight! *huh-huh-huh*” Bosko: “Oh.” See, we all thought he was going to say “okay”. But that wily Bosko keeps us guessing.

Hippos don’t really have sweat glands. Sure, she could secrete some hipposudoric acid in the sun, but in here she’ll just turn on the fan to keep cool. Now, what’s in a lover’s delight? Looks like club soda, a magically appearing banana, and the air that gets mixed in with a beater. Clone 154 finds that the peak of comedy. Bosko smiles very genuinely back at him. That mouse is about to be tortured, isn’t he?

Bosko decides to use his head as the new whisk. But for health reasons, he’s going to send the rodent’s shoes to the universe between spaces with his mind. Order up! Before Pitty can slurp a single slupp, the fan blows the mess all over her face. Clearly, this is all the fault of the proprietor. She gives him an earful, blows a raspberry, and takes her business elsewhere. (Bosko’s keeping her parasol.) He laughs the whole thing off. It’s just like grade school all over again! In his merriment he dances, and reveals he keeps birds in his cash register. For health reasons.

Any good purveyor of foodstuffs sells more than what their place advertises. Bosko has sandwiches. Although, I prefer to use past tense seeing as a dog came in and ate every one. Bosko is upset, but fair and decides the dog can pay off his debt. The entry level position is being Bosko’s accordion. Come for the lover’s delights, stay for the animal abuse. And smash cut to Honey and Wilber making his first appearance. Like always, she’s trying to educate him on the fine art of playing a musical instrument. Like most musicians, he prefers ice cream to practicing. (And he wears one white glove. I mean paw.)

He’s willing to make a deal: Honey gets him the good, and he’ll behave the same way. Sounds fair. And her boyfriend will probably give her a discount. It’s about time for that dog’s break anyhow. (Though he’s starting to embrace his new life.) The phone rings, the cel flips 180 degrees for a frame, and Honey put on some lipstick to help her place her order. Bosko delivers too. And he banishes his hat to the same realm as the shoes in favor of his usual derby. He was clocking out for the day, I’m sure.

Honey didn’t give any specifics, so it was best to play it safe with the most basic flavor available: vanilly. Wilber demonstrates why condoms were invented and complains about getting the wrong flavor. (Do you also hate chicken, you little expectoration?) He reneges the deal, and spits the cream in Bosko’s face. P.o’ed, Bosko gives chase. (Nice overhead shot of the stairwell.) Wilber swings off the clock Honey keeps in front of her bedroom door, and nails Bosko in the Honey kisser.

This gives Wilber the chance to slide down the banister, knowing Bosko will try the same. Wilber takes the bottom half away, and the Bosko takes many sticks to the dick, and a ball to the balls. Landing on a serving cart, he takes a ride that ends with him in Honey’s washtub. At least he got her underwear on his head. Guys in relationships want that, right?

Favorite Part: The dog failing to act innocent when Bosko catches him by the empty sandwich platter. Gotta love how he figures his best bet is to just exit.

Personal Rating: 3. I don’t know. I had fun with it.

Posted on

Bosko’s Dizzy Date

“Come on over, Bosko.”

Bosko and Bruno.

Animation by Rollin Hamilton and Bob McKimson. A Looney Tune released on February 6, 1933.

You know what’s funny? “Porky’s Preview.” You know what’s odd? This short’s history. From what I can gather, this cartoon was originally made under another title, “Bosko and Honey.” It was also meant to appear in 1932. Instead, it got held back due to a good sum of reused animation from older works. Strange, yet, the original print can still be viewed. There’s really no need in discussing the one theatergoers didn’t see. But maybe there’s a parallel universe where things are switched around and I’d be blogging a-

Bosko and Honey

“Make it snappy, Bosko.”

Directed by Hugh Harman; Drawn by Rollin Hamilton and Robert MacKimson; Music by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released in 1932.

You know what’s humorous? “Breakdowns of 1939.” You know what’s strange? This short’s history. From what I understand, this was the original print of  a short set to debut, but got the axe for reusing too much older footage. While still able to be seen today, the finished print was a different cartoon entirely. It was titled “Bosko’s Dizzy Date.” Both prints are near identical, but since this was the original version, I’ll only discuss it. They’re pretty much the same thin-

-ney is teaching Wilber the fine art of violining. He’s not enjoying himself, and since this is his final appearance, why not let him spend his time doing something pleasant? I know my eardrums would appreciate it. Besides, his white arm disease might be catching. Quarantine the kid! And are you his guardian? Honey decides she might as well not suffer alone, so she calls up her boyfriend. He’s sleeping, so it falls to Bruno to answer the pho-

-ney asks the dog to rouse the sleepy Bosko, and Bruno complies. He shambles over to the phone, more dead than alive. Just like everyone who wakes up before ten A.M. He perks right up upon hearing his sweet-voiced Honey, and agrees to come right over. Honey goes back to her music lesson, but finds Wilber dancing on the keys. Little brat. Are you his guardian? Spank him! It’s not like he could prove you beat him black and b-

-osko decides to give the atmosphere a bit of a breather today, and bikes over to his honey-voiced sweetie. Whenever he enters a pipe, he and Bruno switch roles. Bosko makes for a rather cute dog. But for Honey’s sake, I hope he’s been neut-

-sounds just like that dog who joins him on the end card. I had no idea he was so good at impres-

-ogress goes backwards a bit when Bruno ends up running in a bit of pipe with Bosko caught on top, but falling into a pit fixes everything. Upon arriving, Bosko hears the affront to music that is Wilber. He decides to demonstrate what tunes and melodies are supposed to sound like via his saxophone. Honey is grateful to hear something that doesn’t make her ears envious of the mouth’s ability to vomit. She sings along while Bosko shows off some classic dance moves. Angry at being put in his place, Wilber empties a tub of water on-

-ater doesn’t dampen Bosko’s spirits at all. In fact, he’s able to blow bubbles just like before. Honey dances down them so she can join her BF on an outing. Have fun teaching yourself Wilber. There are no refunds for your lessons. Honey accepts cash or c-

-aught off guard via the sudden drink, but his bathing suit always appears when he needs it, so none of his good clothes were ruined. Still, as punishment, Wilber is banned from the rest of the picture. Bosko takes Honey on his bike, and they pass through the local barnyard. Scaring chickens, and both entering a barn, but Honey exiting on a steer. That’s the pure essence of comedy: a lady riding a bovine against her free will. Tired and cliche it may be, but Bosko yuks it up. You really need to learn to laugh at yourself, beautif-

-aithful Bruno tags behind with the picnic basket, but those trees are calling to him. I’m lying. The tree he has his sights set on knows full well what he intends to do, and kicks him away. Seems its bark is worse than Bruno’s bark. I think that can be my favorite joke. Bosko and Honey, meanwhile, have made themselves comfortable on a log. Bosko then offends Honey agai–

-fails to find the humor in her little mishap, but it’s more than just a figurative storm brewing. The two run for shelter while Bruno is left to get struck by the lightning. Poor little guy. Remember Bosko: dogs should always have priority over lady friends. If they don’t agree, they’re not a good match for you. They take refuge under a bridge, but a nearby pipe still catches Bosko in a deluge. There’s that laugh I wanted Honey to have. Don’t know what was so ‘dizzy’ about this date though. Wasn’t even a torn-

-hat’s where it ends. That was your outing? You really need to get Honey a present to make up for wasting her ti-

-orite Part: The fact that Honey didn’t find it at all odd that Bruno was the one answering the phone. Guess his breed is secretary. Now, the rating I’ll be giving can be applied to the other short as well. That’s-

-onal Rating: 1. Feels like two different cartoons were smushed together because they didn’t know how to end one, and finish the other. I don’t see why they were so afraid to release this one. It was barely changed for i-

-theatrical release. Hope you aren’t too disappointed that I’m not going to discuss both cartoons. The end of the summer season is upon me and I need at least one more dish of ice cream to help me survive eight more months of insufficient heat.

Posted on

Bosko’s Party

“I got a present… for ya, Honey.”

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Larry Martin. A Looney Tune released on April 2, 1932.

It may rain, but Bosko has a sunny day in his heart on all days that have the letter ‘d’ in them. Even if that wasn’t the case, he has reason to feel glad when the sky feels gloomy: he’s going to a party! It’s not a party for him, despite how you interpret the title, it’s more like a party he threw together. That means it can legally be called his party as long as it’s not in honor of anybody else. So, what’s the occasion? It has to have a reason, even if it’s a “throwing a party for no reason” party. Actually it’s way better than that: it’s Honey’s birthday party! She’ll see him in court, but will probably lose as he’s the star around here.

While she gets ready for the day, Bosko and a whole bunch of her closest friends have already broken into her place to surprise her. Everybody is here! There’s that little dog that joins Bosko in the ending title cards; the only Oswald clone; Mickey clone #338; Wilber; and Pants Pig, second step-cousin to Piggy. And every one of them has got to hide if they want to surprise Honey, because here she comes! (Wilber? Please don’t take your pants off. It’s not one of those parties that needs the police involved.)

Wilber has a bit of trouble trying to find a good hiding spot; all his first choices are already taken. Since Bosko knows nobody will care if they can’t see him ever again, he sticks him under a flower pot. Once everyone is hid, Honey enters the room and… SURPRISE! Happy birthday Honey! Even though, you’re 2 1/2 max, we rounded up and got you a third candle for your cake. And we all chipped in an got you a present. Well, Bosko picked it out. Open it! Show us what it is!

Your dog? But you already have one of those. Bosko chases after the canine, but it ends up falling into the fancy aquarium. These are the kind of things that seeing will turn Honey’s stomach white. And there was never really any need to get mad at the dog, the present’s fine. It’s a ukulele! (Which means the five bucks I coughed up was wasted.) Might as well give it a test play, Bosko can accompany you on vocals. And Wilber is still stuck under the pot. Nobody has noticed he’s disappeared from the party, and I suddenly feel a kinship with the little guy.

He manages to escape, but immediately ends up caught in a mousetrap. Why would you have that set up when you invited mi-… oh wow. You guys are evil. He ends up falling into the cake, ensuring he now doesn’t have to share with the birthday girl. Wilber was the mastermind all along.

Favorite Part: Honey is about to get dressed, (Sexy negligee) when she breaks the fourth wall and sees us. She retreats behind a partition for privacy, but there’s a mirror in a perfect position. This is the most erotic cartoon of its day.

Rating: 2

Posted on

Bosko at the Beach

“Is there a lifeguard in the audience?”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6wsheh

Animation by Isadore Freleng and Rollin Hamilton; Music by Frank Marsales. A Looney Tune released on July 23, 1932.

What does a character like Bosko do at the seaside? The occupation many black and white toons tried their hands at: hot dog vendor. (Like all toon food, the wieners are still alive. I’m sorry, but I don’t fancy the idea of chewing on something that wiggles. Jiggling is fine) These must be some dang, fine sausages as the local wildlife beach themselves just to get a taste. No, wait. The octopus and seahorses were only coming ashore to pretend to be a carousel. They are then ridden by some clams. (I wish I could say the self sacrifice was worth it to make those mollusks smile, but they ditch their shells to ride! They will all die! At least the gulls will have a good time.)

And where would a hot dog purveyor be without an actual dog? Much like Mickey had Pluto, Bosko has Bruno. And wouldn’t you know it? He makes the five appearance rule! Let’s do a quick learn about him, shall we?

Bruno

If possible, Bruno had less personality than Honey, because he was only a dog. He didn’t even speak.

That was fun.

This beach doesn’t seem like MY ideal lounge spot. Bruno steps on a nail! It’s hard to enjoy ones self with lockjaw, but I suppose with the right attitude, anything is possible. Bosko is kind enough to remove it from his dog, but doesn’t bother disposing it correctly. He just tosses it on the ground. (I’m sure it will find a nice home. Little children love to run around without shoes!)

Honey is also at the beach. She’s accompanied by some cat-like creature named Wilber. He appeared in a few cartoons, but I don’t think five. Either way, I can’t find a picture of him. Nobody cares about Wilber. Perhaps that is why Honey is happy to let him play in the ocean, unsupervised. Honey has better things to do, once she sees that her boyfriend is there, she changes out of her swimwear and gets on her usual attire. (I don’t she she is wearing the bra she took in the changing booth. I guess she just enjoys stealing other women’s lingerie. The little minx!)

Bosko enjoys the idea of sharing a picnic with her, but Bruno is not one to be ignored. He wants to play, and darn it! Bosko is a great person to play fetch with. He throws the stick to try and be rid of the friendly dog, but said dog brings back increasingly large pieces of wood. The last one upends their picnic once dropped on it.

Wilber, meanwhile, has been having fun in the sea, but the waves finally get a hold of him, and begin dragging him away. (If you are caught in the current, you belong to the sea now. That is my rule. That is also why you don’t hear from my son anymore.) Since Bosko is the only guy in this short, it is up to him to be the hero. (Once he jumps in the water, a bathing suit magically appears. Or the anchovies undressed him. I like my first answer) The waves are fierce, and Bosko struggles to rescue the child. This is why you never send a Bosko to do a dog’s work. Using a log and a fan, (which is clearly not plugged in. And that means Bruno must turn it manually.) He makes a boat and saves the two castaways.

Favorite part: Bosko announces his wares with a cry of “Hot dogs!” It’s also the same thing when he sees his girlfriends silhouette.

Personal Rating: 3