Category: Chuck Jones

Anything directed by the man who was responsible for directing the number one greatest cartoon.

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Compressed Hare

“You are game, aren’t you?”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Co-Director: Maurice Noble; Story by Dave Detiege; Animation by Ken Harris, Richard Thompson, Bob Bransford, and Tom Ray; Assistant Layout: Corny Cole; (Great name.) Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard and William Butler; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 29, 1961.

Wile E.’s latest scheme has him leaving a phone in front of Bugs’s hole and giving him a call. Wile E. states that he is the new neighbor, and could really use a cup of carrots for a stew he’s making. Ever the agreeable sort, Bugs complies. Of course, upon knocking on the door, Wile E. grabs him and ties him up. Ever the unflappable sort, Bugs doesn’t worry at all. He goes as far as to hold down the rope so Wile E. can tie a bow, and uses his ears to flavor the broth.

Still, his kindness has its limits, and he has to decline a stay for lunch. Wile E. isn’t letting him go, so Bugs hops in place and gets one of Wile E.’s wine bottles to pop its cork into his eye. (Genius that he is, I’m guessing Wile E. is an expert winemaker.) Wile E. ducks the next one, but who do you think taught Basil of Baker St. everything he knows? Bugs knew the cork would bounce around the kitchen, setting off a chain reaction that would ultimately cause Wile E’s fold-out bed to fall on him. Done with hopping corks, Bugs hops home.

Wile E. tries to vacuum up his prey, but gets a decoy made out of bombs, instead. Keeping in character, he’s not even mad. He’s admires Bugs’s chutzpah. Still, dinner plans must be kept, and the cunning canine next pours quick drying cement into the hole. Bugs molded it into a pillar, and sticks it back in Wile E.’s path. Both of them making puns about the situation. (These guys. These are the guys I want to be like when I mature.) Time for our finishing gag. And it’s a great one!

Wile E. gets his paws on a ten-billion volt magnet, several dynamos, and an iron carrot. If he can get Bugs to eat that, then the multiverse’s most powerful magnet will reel him in like a dead pike. Bugs just pretends to eat the carrot because he’s not a neanderthal this time. Wile E. falls for it, because even the biggest geniuses can be fooled. He turns on the device and starts attracting the carrot, and Bug’s mailbox, iron, pans, etc.

Then the gag grows to Tex Avery levels! Horseshoes, barbed wire, cars, Eiffel towers… If it’s metal, it’s migrating. And in true Avery fashion, the gag can still go farther. Satellites and rockets are also pulled in. All that metal, and rocket fluid. Something’s going to give! Bugs admires the fireworks that the camera doesn’t show us. (*humph*) You know, Russia may have beat us to putting dogs in orbit, but as Bugs points out, who put the first coyote up there? That’s right: U.S. (Hope you enjoyed hearing Wile E. speak. Barring a failed television pilot, he wouldn’t talk again for decades.)

Favorite Part: As perfect as the ending was, my favorite part is the look Bugs gives up when he sees Wile E.’s mailbox labeling him as a genius. Bugs is NOT amused. Even goes so far as to mock him. (“Are you in, genius?”)

Personal Rating: 4. This was a whole point better than the last team-up of these two. So glad to hear Bugs act like the full-grown bunny he is.

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Rabbit’s Feat

“‘Rabbitus idioticus deliceeous’. Er, I believe that- that’s the scientific term.”

Directed by Chuck Jones; Animation by Ken Harris and Richard Thompson; Layouts and Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on June 4, 1960.

A Bugs/Wile E. picture that is light on the fun mechanical gags in order to focus more on the dialogue. Could that be because Michael Maltese was no longer writing for Chuck, having moved on to Hanna Barbera by this point?

That wily ole Wile E. He’s tracking rabbit to get himself something to munch.  He finds Bugs asleep in his crib, sucking his thumb. Let that be an indication of what’s to come. I think Chuck was trying to hearken back to Bugs’s wackier days, but to me, he just comes across as that little kid who thinks he’s the funniest thing on two legs and is in actually annoying and obnoxious, but you’re the adult so you have to pretend that he speaks in fluent comedy gold and you’ve got no choice but to encourage him, even though it would be doing the world a favor to tell him to shut his lips. Doesn’t mean Bugs is painful to listen to or watch, but I’m not finding myself laughing at his antics all that much.

Wile E. sets up a picnic and Bugs comes to join. Proving his intellect once again, Wile E. actually wanted this to happen, as he bundles Bugs in the blanket in order to transport him to the cooking pot. Once there, Chuck has Bugs dust off the old “screaming in agony to unnerve his tormentor” chestnut. Wile E. catches on fairly quick and then catches Bugs lounging outside the containment unit he is supposed to be in. Bugs responds in a way I never would have seen coming, no matter how much weed was injected into my veins: “Daddy! You’re back from Peru!”

Ties back to the kid again, who also thinks random is inherently funny. (Which it can be, but it takes skill to pull off and I’m still not sure how one can describe the proper method.) It is pretty funny, but it comes so far out of left field that I’m want to question, rather than giggle. (But I am smiling at Wile E.’s great poses. They make the picture.) Bugs is able to escape after Wile E. falls into the pot, failing an opportunity to lunge at him since Bugs ducked at the last second. Time to do some plotting.

In a very meta sense, Wile E. starts musing about gags that could feature in this cartoon, but don’t. Bugs slipping in behind him, and giving his two cents. Wile E. ultimately figures he’ll lace him some carrots full of dynamite. Bugs screams, scaring the coyote, and escapes again. Wile E. decides to settle on a gun. Bugs steps right up to him, and flips the gun barrel any way he pleases. Even at Wile E. But those brains, man. Wile E. doesn’t fall for it even when he didn’t see Bugs point it at him. He keeps pointing back to Bugs. Bugs responds by pulling away that little tip that determines which part of the gun is the front. Wile E. takes a gamble, and loses. (Brains and luck are not interchangeable terms.)

Wile E. throws an active grenade down Bugs’s hole, and blocks any possible exit. Bugs screams once more, causing the coyote to fly up and back down, just in time to catch the brunt of the explosion. He identifies himself as a vegetarian now. And reinstates the ‘Mud’ moniker.

Favorite Part: Wile E.’s line: “It is obvious, that is no ordinary rabbit.” Everyone should say this when introducing Bugs to new generations.

Personal Rating: 3. Bugs may be getting on my nerves a tad, but I know he’s just trying to mess with a predator. Still, I’d say this is the weakest of his co-starring with Wile E.

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Fox Pop

“I’m practically sold already!”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones. A Merrie Melody released on September 5, 1942.

A man sits alone in his cabin. Vulnerable and alone. And some sort of wild animal is heading in his direction. A wolf? Nope, too small for a wolf. It’s a fox! And that thing could cause rabies or chicken famines! But the man is lucky this time, for the fox just takes his radio back to the forest and proceeds to hack it to bits. Two crows are stumped to this very un-foxlike behavior. He tells them his tale.

You see, whilst he was scrounging through the trash cans for food, he overheard the radio saying that foxes are what is “in” at the moment. They’re going to be everywhere and every lady will want one around their neck. This pleases the fox very much, as he imagines what a wonderful world it would be if there were foxes walking freely amongst the humans. (I want to live in such a world.) The radio doesn’t go into details about how these foxes will be in such locations, but it probably expected only humans to be listening, and they’d know.

The fox heads to location the radio said the foxes were coming from: Sterling Silver Fox Fur Farm. He gets himself trapped fairly quickly, but the owner turns him away. It’s fairly racist, but they’re only accepting silver foxes like their name says. Red ones are o-w-t, out. The fox that we will call ‘Fawkes’ is thrown into the garbage. (Which ironically, is where the racist man also belongs.)  Amongst the scrap metal, he finds just the answer to his problem. Not a gun, but silver paint. He gives his coat a good coat and badda-bing, badda-boom, Fawkes is welcomed into the farm.

He’s brought to his “room.” (It is darkly hilarious to see Mr. Sterling escorting him by the paw, rather than just carrying him by the scruff. These foxes lives in luxury for their remainder of life.) Just as he gets settled, the next door fox informs him of the jailbreak that is planned for tonight. And Fawkes is either participating with them, or dying early. His choice. He plays along, but being smaller than the others works to his favor, as he is able to lose himself in the rush and backtrack to the “comfort” of his “suite”. Look, he’s even got a tag attached to his “door”. I mean, door.

It’s here that he learns the awful truth: this place wants the skins of foxes! And I do love his childish naivete. “How will they… get it off of me?” The grindstone knows! Fawkes decides that maybe this place isn’t so great after all, and flees. The hounds are sent after him, chasing him through log and pond alike. But what’s this? The miracle of water has reverted his fur back to its original red! He happily shows the dogs that he is not silver and they have no need to chase him. They’re not racist though, they’re speciesist and pound him for daring to be born vulpine.

And that’s Fawkes’s story. Upon hearing all this, the crows join in and help the little guy smash that problem box that started it all. A kind of relationship I’m not used to seeing between these two animals.

“I’ll give you something to crow about!” “Don’t fox with me!”

Favorite Part: The next door cellmate is pretty bass. He makes a key by biting one out of his nail file. In one chomp!

Personal Rating: 3. A hilariously dark premise that thankfully doesn’t end like this:

I never know whether to laugh or grimace.
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Little Lion Hunter

“Shh.”

Supervision by Charles Jones; Story by Robert Givens; Animation by Philip Monroe; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 7, 1939.

It’s Inki’s first day on the job, so we can expect a few flubs. Example: despite what the title clearly states, he’s throwing his spear at any and all animals. (Although, in seriousness, if a giraffe chooses to bend down to eat, it’s asking for death.) Being early in his short career, Inki also looks a bit different than we’d later know him. He’s got large lashes, and a shiny black nose. Making it understandable that I used to think he was female, and you thought he was a deer.

The kid finds some tracks that surely lead to some big, dangerous game, so Inki takes cover behind a tree. And the ‘dangerous’ part comes true when we see what comes from the direction of those tracks: the world’s REAL most deadliest game, the Minah Bird. (You can identify him by his flashing wings.) He clearly didn’t make those tracks, he just killed whatever did for intruding on his territory. (If it was lucky, it wasn’t made to suffer. No promises with this bird, though.)

Inki makes another rookie mistake, he decides to tackle this creature. He follows it, waiting for the perfect moment to use his spear. It either never comes, or he squanders it, as the bird hops into a hole. Now, you should never, never, never ever, never, never, ever put your hand into any hole this bird hopes into, if you value said hand and think there will even be a remote chance that you will use it again. Inki is lucky today, just pulling out a sleeping skunk. Perhaps the bird is giving him one break for being so new at this.

Inki decides to hunt tortoises, as there is less danger involved. But after following the reptile into a log, he finds himself back in the company of the destroyer bird. Having not gotten the hint that he should really flee while he still has eight toes, he throws his spear. Bridging a gap that the bird had no problem jumping into, because even gravity knows better than to try and kill him. Hence the bird’s ability to hop vertically up a tree. Inki climbs up after him, and ends up with the bird on his head. Said bird tries to bite his nose off for daring to let his scalp touch the bird’s talons. (Well, would you like to tell me what the bird is doing?)

While trying to squish it or something, Inki only manages to knock himself back to the ground. He’s managed to escape painful death twice now, so he should really leave the mynah bird hunting to the professionals. (Current members in that profession: -1,000,000,000.) But hark, sounds! (In a jungle? No way.) Sounds like some kind of game is coming close. Inki just needs to listen to find out what he’s up against. It’s the very thing the title said he should have been hunting all along: a lion.

The lion is much closer than Inki’s hearing suggests, and the beast has to physically tap the boy to make his presence known. Inki immediately knows he is over his head now, and bolts without even looking at the cat directly. (Good. He’s learning.) He also knows the basic rule of lion survival: hiding in a hollow tree stump works! They are not one to question why a stump has an eye, or what those horrible screechy, scratchy noises are. (I guess there the sounds of Inki trying to creep away?) But he forgot that this trick only works if you stand still. Even lions know that stumps don’t stroll.

With the lion totally aware, Inki has no choice but to accept his fate. But just then, things are made either worse or better by the appearance of who else was in the stump, good old, terrifying old, the Minah bird. The lion isn’t aware that he should flee while the fleeing’s good; animals can’t learn from mistakes that will kill them. It pounces, and a terrific tussle takes place off-screen. When the bird is done proving who the king of the jungle is, the lion is roughed up, tussed up, and ready for slaughter, but the bird feels he has made his point.

Instead, he lets Inki know that he saved the kid from the lion’s digestive system, and kicks him for bothering him in the first place. It’s here where you learn the twist that I just made up: Inki had found a genie, and wished to survive an encounter with this bird, three times. He probably thought that would mean he’d kill it each time, but you know what pricks genies are.

Favorite Part: When Inki is hiding from the lion behind a tree, the lion taps him on the shoulder. Inki figures out who’s poking him by squeezing the lion’s retractable claw out. Nice subtle teaching!

Personal Rating: 3

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What’s brewin, Bruin?

“Oh, goody, goody! Uh, a snowman!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Tedd Pierce and Michael Maltese; Animation by Phil Monroe, Ken Harris, Lloyd Vaughn, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Peter Alvarado; Effects Animation by A. C. Gamer; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on February 28, 1948.

Having been four years since their last cartoon, we’re given a quick reintroduction to Henry, Ma, and Junyer. The parents are playing a game of gin rummy, and according to the score list, Henry has yet to win. But with Ma’s poker face, that’s no surprise. So challenging her in the first place was Henry’s first mistake. His second was to take advice from his son. Thanks to Junyer’s “tips” Henry loses again. He takes it very well for his standards.

Well, fun time must be put on hold as they really need to get to sleep if they’re going to bypass winter. (They never make the mistake of calling it hibernating. Well done, Chuck!) Each says their prayers and gets into their respective bed. (According to Junyer’s chart on the wall, he’s very good at ‘behinding his ears.’) The problems immediately arise. Ma’s a snorer and Junyer’s cradle creaks. It then falls apart and Junyer’s crying adds to the cacophony. Since he’s a half-decent father deep down, and it will shut the kid up, Henry allows the tyke to share his bed.

That was his third mistake, as Junyer’s bulk flattens Henry, but things get more unpleasant because of a leak in the roof. As the son of the household, it’s Junyer’s job to plug it up. The water finds an out through his ears, so that solution won’t work. Henry jams the hole full of long underwear, which holds a little better, but eventually leads to a bigger problem. (Who in this household wears those?)The window is also open, per Ma’s wishes seeing as how she opens it every time Henry closes it. Even bricks can’t keep her away. (Wives always win.)

When the stuffed moose head on the wall falls on Henry, Junyer and Ma take notice of the strange being in their house, and chase it with a gun and a mallet. After Henry gets revealed, Junyer earns another star on his ‘good boy’ chart by bringing the spanking brush to Henry. But no, this final straw demands more than that. Henry is going to get some sleep, and his family is NOT going to interfere with that. This means tying the two to their beds, (Junyer’s now fixed) muzzling their mouths, (Junyer’s muzzle miscolored) plugging that hole correctly, nailing the window shut and even making sure the clock is silenced. This will be a blissful slumber to savor!

And it’s now spring. Plants are sprouting, animals are calling, and ice is melting. It’s all very beautiful, but very loud. And Henry has suffered too much to have to put up with it! He yells for things to be quiet, and the universe finally cuts him some slack. Time rewinds back to winter so the bear can finally get some rest. (Thankfully, the short ends before time repeats the whole picture.)

Favorite Part: It really is great that Henry got to win at last. Yes, he’s an a-hole who deserves just about every misfortune that befalls him, but he just wanted to enjoy winter the way all creatures should: totally unaware. I’m happy for him.

Personal Rating: 3

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Little Brother Rat

“I once had an egg.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Bob McKimson; Musical Direction by Charles W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on September 2, 1939.

Sniffles creeps up on a sleeping cat and yanks out a whisker. He must have a death wish! No, it’s just part of a scavenger hunt he’s taking part in. Bringing it back puts in the lead, beating out Jimmy and flat out annihilating Squeakie. (Even though the list asks for whiskers plural. Oops.) There’s just one last item on the list, but it’s certainly the most difficult: an owl’s egg.

Sniffles accepts the challenge and heads back out again. The cat has come outside too by this point, and begins to follow the little prick who caused him a moment of discomfort. (And upset his sense of balance, let’s be real.) Sniffles manages to avoid getting caught by entering a barn, but the cat has no problem waiting for his return. There isn’t any other holes down here, so it’s a good bet the mouse will return.

Up in the barn, sleeps Papa Owl. (Asleep at night because he’s hungover. I don’t know.) Sniffles easily gets his paws on the unhatched Junior, and is almost immediately caught leaving. The father convinces him to put his child back passively and aggressively. Sniffles is then thrown out from this high, because he’s just too big for the owl to swallow whole. (Nice camera movement.) He bounces off the still waiting cat and is flung right back up again. So, guess he’s just stuck in such a perilous position for the rest of his life, eh?

As if! Winning this scavenger hunt is everything to him! The prize must be that good. (Or he just refuses to be bested by Jimmy. Friggin’ Jimmy.) He tries again, and father doesn’t catch him this time. Instead, Sniffles trips. That’s the end of this egg. Or not. Seems it was just about to hatch as the owlet is alive and unharmed and a chibi version of his father. Sniffles tries to coax him back inside, because it will prove this really is an owl egg, rather than a robin egg. The young bird gets in, but his feet stick out and he walks back to his nest.

Sniffles gets a hold of him once more. And then just puts him back anyway. (I guess he only has qualms about stealing other’s children after they’re born.) Once back outside, he finds the little owl has followed him. Even worse, the cat takes notice of the two and chases. Sniffles carries the young bird, and this kind gesture is witnessed by Mr. Owl. He swoops down, grabs the cat, and throws it down a chimney. (He’ll be back to eat it later.) Because of his bravery, Sniffles is given the egg he needed. Yeah! Eat it, Jimmy!

Favorite Part: The way the owl’s eyes gleam and dilate when Sniffles is spotted. Telling him in no uncertain way that the jig is up.

Personal Rating: 3 for those who can accept a Merrie Melody without much comedy. If you can’t, it’s a 2.

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Porky’s Ant

“What I wouldn’t give to catch one of those old pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh-nuhuh-pigmuh- those midget ants.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Rudolph Larriva; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on May 10, 1941.

What is something you’d like to do? Pretend money is no object. Pretend you’re as fit as need be. Pretend you have not fears or worries about failing. What would you do? Me personally, I’d be traveling the world just to see different animals. Porky is in the midst of that, and I’m envious. He’s just waltzing around Africa with a silent guide reading a book about rare insects. (My dream…)

One such insect is known as the Pigmy Ant (Pgymy formicidae). A creature not named for its size, but because it has a habit of dressing like humans. They’re also worth $150,000.00. Sadly, Porky is more interested in the price than the creature. Luckily for him, one of these ants is following him and his guide. (I wish it was Inki. That’d be a fun cameo.) Pigmy ant hierarchies are determined by the size of the bone in their topknots. The bigger the bone, the more likely you are to score mates. As such, the little gal feels the guide’s bone is better because it’s bigger.

Small, though she may be, the guide can feel her tugging on his clothing. When he turns to look. He crashes into Porky, flinging supplies every which way. When Porky sees the ant, he confirms with the book on her species. Yep. She’s the one! She’s fast, too! She bolts for the safety of her hill before Porky can nab her. Time to do a little luring. Good thing Porky brought some chocolates with him. He sets a bonbon behind some flypaper, unaware that the ant could just walk around it. He throws it away, and it lands on his guide’s face.

The ant ducks under some growth and Porky reaches after, unaware of the slumbering lion within. He throws a lasso that the ant sticks around the cat’s paws and pulls it out. (Porky lifts.) He puts it back. Now he knows that ant’s game, but still doesn’t dare get near her when she returns to its protection. She taunts him, but doesn’t realize the lion gets up and leaves until Porky has crawled out of the bush and is nearing.

Back at the guide, he finds another lion. It chases him back to Porky and the two can do nothing more than hide. Good thing the ant doesn’t hate them. She uses the flypaper to trip the lion up, saving the two from his intestinal tract. Porky is grateful and offers her anything she wants that he can give. She gets her bone, and since she’s following them still, I think she’s decided to let Porky adopt her. (…My… dream…)

Favorite Part: The face Porky makes when he first sees the paw he’s reeled in. He was all prepared to be happy, but fate didn’t get her lines right.

Personal Rating: 2

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A Hound for Trouble

“What are you anyway, a dog hater?”

Directed by Charles M. Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Lloyd Vaughan, Ken Harris, Phil Monroe, Ben Washam, and John Carey; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds Philip DeGuard; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 28, 1951.

It’s hard to be Charlie Dog. Everybody but me seems to despise him, and he’s just been thrown off a boat. (Not for the first time if the captain is to be believed.) He finds he’s been dumped off in Italy of all places. Beauty of that being that there is still a good number of people who could be potential masters. After all, Italians are humans and humans love dogs. (If you don’t, you’re doing a bang-up job of trying to keep your cover from being blown.)

Mama Mia! None of-a de locals capishe de English! It’s a good thing that love is a universal language. Still, English praise will be easier to catch. Charlie sets his sights on on restaurant named Pasquale’s Palazzia de Spagetini. I think the lone employee we see working there is Pasquale himself. He doesn’t give any indication that he can speak a lick of English, but Charlie has made his choice. I admire him choosing a bowl to be his own. Now for the test: showing how lovable and cuddly he is.

Test failed. Although Pasquale is fairly kind in telling the dog to leave. Even if he said yes though, it would be best if Charlie wasn’t inside as Pasquale is leaving for a fifteen minute break. (Those are the best when they’re twice as long.) Then again, staying outside won’t give Charlie a great opportunity to show the guy what a great choice it would be to have an animal in the kitchen amongst the food and utensils that will be entering people’s mouths.

Charlie is now in the kitchen. (A young Brad Bird takes notes.) And just now entering is a customer ready for a feast. He orders… oh boy, here we go. He orders: na bella piatta del una cacciatore di tetrazzini cu ragu di marinara di la piazza rigotini mozzarella fina without onions. (Thank you, Wikipedia.) And I’m pretty sure that translates to a grilled cheese sandwich without onions. They don’t have that. The man settles for spaghett. Charlie serves it to him via spool, and makes sure he doesn’t eat an inch more than he’s paying for. Time for a bit of wine to wash it all down. The man leaves with whatever lunch he can keep down after seeing Charlie stomp the grapes.

Pasquale returns and is not pleased to find his customers being scared away. But Charlie has a surefire way to stay: he’s a singer! You will believe he can find a home after hearing his rendition of “Atsa matta for you?” Pasquale certainly seems convinced as he gives in and agrees to adopt the poor baby. Now, isn’t that touching? No wonder this is Charlie’s final appearance; he’s about to achieve his dream come true! But wait! That leaning tower located in Pisa is going to fall over and crush their little home! Charlie proves he’s the smarter of the two and tries to away from danger, but Pasquale makes him hold the tower while he goes for help. (Seeing as he’s bilingual and all.)

We end with Pasquale happy in his kitchen, no intent of ever going back and Charlie desperately calling for anyone to help; his pleas falling on deaf ears as they only speak Italian. That’s just cruel, Pasquale. (Mostro malvagio. Spero che tu marcisca all’inferno, lentamente.)

Favorite Part: Charlie not only can repeat the original order flawlessly, but he sticks his tongue out at all of us who doubted he could do it. How can anyone not love this dog?

Personal Rating: 3. But I give it a four for myself.

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Porky’s Prize Pony

“All horses must report to the starting gate in three minutes.”

Supervision by Charles M. Jones; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Ken Harris; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released on June 21, 1941.

The county fair has a $10,000.00 prize for their steeplechase, and Porky is planning on winning. He’s got his very own prize pony, (looks a little too big to me) but despite the title, he/she isn’t the focus. That honor goes to another horse who isn’t wanted around the stables. He’s clumsy, he looks pretty limp, and not realistic enough to be worth riding. But he sees Porky at it’s love at first sight. He has a good number of signs on hoof to sell himself to others, but Porky has no interest. (What he does have is a disappearing bucket. It’s awesome.)

The horse tries to show how much help he can be by carrying the bucket of water Porky got for his actual steed. The pig is happy to get some free labor out of the friendly equine, but again, clumsy. He trips and Porky gets all wet. Definitely not going to be taking in that horse. But he’s not finished yet! Next, he will show how athletic he is by jumping a hurdle. What he lacks in accuracy, he makes up for with effort, as he flies high over his target and crashes through a house. (Giving him a hat that fills in all the blanks for this guy’s origin story.)

Stallone’s next jump ends with him crashing into Porky and the frustrated pig throws his bucket at the horse. Stallone so desperately tries to be like Pluto the pup interacting with flypaper, as he tries to pry it off his face, and getting it stuck on his hooves. As he hops around, he crashes into the stable that contains Porky’s prize winner. It’s not harmed, but a bottle of horse liniment falls into its water and since the stuff contains 125% alcohol, I’m sure Porky would forgive me for betting on another jockey.

Come race time, his horse is all but dead. You can’t beat a dead horse, much less ride it, so Porky is out, right? Not if Stallone has any say in things. He picks Porky up and races to the track. (Making it just as the race starts. Great timing!) Since his jumping still leaves a lot to be desired, their plan is to cheat and just run through the obstacles. This works in their favor as  they knock a hurdle higher up than usual and trips up most of the competition. Except for… Sniffles? Is that you?

Stallone hides in a pool of water and drags Sniffles (or a look-a-like rat named Snort) into the drink. And that’s it. We don’t see them again because they were drowned. And this makes for an easy win. Porky is happy as can be, but Stallone scowls. His constant charging had him running straight into the awards, and now his hooves are caught in their trophy. Best get freed quick, lest you get put down.

Favorite Part: Porky’s little giggle when he first sees Stallone. It kills me, and the results play out realistically. Give those desperate for attention a drip, and you won’t get rid of them easily. We’re kind of annoying like that.

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Ready Woolen and Able

“See you tomorrow, Sam.”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7zfn66

Directed by Chuck Jones; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Ken Harris, Richard Thompson, and Ben Washam; Layouts by Maurice Noble; Backgrounds by Philip DeGuard; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Merrie Melody released on July 30, 1960.

Sam Sheepdog drives to work in his humble, rattly car. Ralph Wolf is doing the same, but because he makes more, he has a much faster, spiffier ride. (That still has nuts, bolts and bits of wire streaming out of it.) The two park in their very own parking spaces, (one of the perks of working in their field) and share pleasantries as they clock-in. Ralph, as previously established, is all about speed and runs right to his first sheep of choice. Partaking in humbler, but still successful means, is Sam who drops a rake for Ralph to step on.

You know how to tell if your friend is a true friend? True friends are allowed to try and blow each other up. Ralph is going to try with his own invention: the TNT-totter. With this device, he plans to fling an explosive stick at the dog. But it just rolls towards him when he jumps on his end. Continuing from there, the wolf tries to roll a lit barrel of gunpowder at his best pal. It bounces over the dog, (leaving Ralph with a wonderful “Oh my aching head” expression) and detonates under a boulder that flies back to Ralph.

Okay, so maybe the simpler approach has some merits after all. Ralph attempts to swing via trapeze over to a plump morsel. But wouldn’t you know it, Sam is at the other end. Ralph puts him back where he belongs confused at the switch. But wait! At the apex of the upswing, there is Ralph again! Ralph climbs up the trapeze only to find Sam was the one holding it up, all along! And when he slides back down, Sam is sitting on the other end. Seeing as how he can’t escape that dog, Ralph opts to jump.

Would you believe it? He passes five Sams on the way down! (One of which is riding in the most static hot-air balloon I’ve ever seen.) A sixth is fishing, the seventh is sleeping with the fishes, (literally, thanks.) and an eighth is inside the whale that Ralph swims into. (A freshwater sperm whale with inaccurate dental structure? Now I’m starting to freak out!) And yes, there’s a ninth one that Ralph encounters when he is spouted out. Terrified, the Wolf swims for shore only to find himself on a nude Sam beach of 33! (Always room for one more, though.) I don’t think Ralph can take much more of this…

Theory, correct. At the end of the day, Sam drives home in his crummy looking, but functional car, and Ralph goes home in an ambulance. Complete with strait jacket. And to think it’s only Monday…

Favorite Part: Ralph tying out some bed springs on his feet. They flip him on his face. And really, what else should he have expected to happen?

Personal Rating: 3