A Gander at Mother Goose

“Remember Little Hiawatha and his bow and arrow?”

They’re just a bunch of foney’s.

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Charles McKimson; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Technical Advisor; Mother Goose. Released in 1940.

Sing a song of 10 cents, A.K.A. a dime. I felt it best to make another post, entirely in rhyme. Nursery rhymes are what our featured short is all about. So let’s not waste any more time, and just go check it out.

Mistress Mary, quite contrary, how does her garden grow? Not so well is what methinks. “Confidentially, it stinks.”

Humpty Dumpty sits on a wall, and soon poor Humpty takes a great fall. But he lands just fine; sees no drawback. (Unaware that we can see his “crack”.)

Jack and Jill climb a up hill to fill their little pail. Jack should now come falling down, but not this version’s tale. “To heck with the water” he doth speak, with lipstick markings on his cheek.

Miss Muffet sits on her tuffet, eating curds and whey, when a spider comes down beside her, to frighten the girl away. (Why does he have three legs on each of his spidery limbs?) But Muffet’s just so ugly that it’s she that frightens him.

The three little pigs are all on the run. (They could be Porky’s nephews, but he already has one.) They hide in a brick house, away from the wolf’s hungry jaws, (Yes, this isn’t a nursery rhyme. That’s the short’s biggest flaw.) They surrender to the lupine who’s wishing their death. But only because he’s got terrible breath. They offer him mouthwash. (That’s got to sting) He takes it. “Why don’t my friends tell me these things?”

Star of light, star so bright, a dog wishes on a star at night. His wish comes true. What could it be? Well he IS a dog. He wished for a tree.

Jack is nimble and Jack is quick, he jumps over a candlestick. It’s basically the same as the Humpty joke, just with burning butt rather than yolk.

There is an old lady who lives in a shoe, she has so many children, what can she do? She does have a husband, but he’s not there. He’s off relaxing in a lawn chair.

Finally, “‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring,” except for a mouse. “Merry Christmas” he whispers to his mouse friend, “QUIET!” he shouts. And thus the short ends.

Personal Rating: 3

Foney Fables

“The bad boy of the fairy tales: The boy who cried wolf.”

Supervision by I. Freleng; Animation by Richard Bickenback; Story by Michael Maltese; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1942.

Disney had already parodied Fairy tales wonderfully, (if dated) with “Mother Goose in Hollywood.”, so why wouldn’t W.B. give it a shot?This short consists of nothing but gags, so I hope you weren’t expecting any story.

We begin with Sleeping Beauty (which isn’t a fable by the way.) The prince shakes her awake. Tom Thumb has grown huge thanks to taking Vitamin B-1. The grasshopper and the ant is next. (Which is a fable by the way.) The ant tells the grasshopper that he’ll starve since he didn’t work, (The ant meanwhile will probably work itself to death. Much preferred) but the grasshopper has bought war bonds. Then a boy cries wolf and laughs at the poor schmuck who tries to save him.

Jack runs from a two headed giant, who nearly captures him but has to take a breather because his other head has been sick. A wolf disguises himself with a sheepskin but only finds another disguised wolf, and Aladdin calls for his genie but finds him on strike. The boy is still crying wolf and the narrator tells him to give it a rest. The boy tells him to piss off. A goose is said to lay golden eggs, but now lays aluminum eggs for the war effort. (And is obviously Daffy. Listen to that voice and tell me it’s not Daffy.) Mother Hubbard goes to get her dog a bone, but finds it bare. The dog finds her hidden stash and lets the whole town know she is a hoarder. (This one is a nursery rhyme.)

Then we are treated to “This little piggy.” (Which isn’t even a story!) A thick accented mother plays the game with her infant. And you know how I point out very tiny errors? Well, this one is barely unnoticeable. One of the baby’s leg’s disappears! How’d anyone miss that? Oh yeah, the joke is that the mom accidentally hurts the baby by touching his corn. (Sorry, but I’m not forgetting that leg.) We are about to hear a variation on Cinderella, when the boy starts calling wolf again. The man comes to see (you’d think he would have given up after try #2) but is too late and only finds a wolf picking his teeth.

Personal Rating: 3

Hollywood Steps Out

“50 dollars!?”

It’s a cartoon caricaturing famous Hollywood stars! (And they look rather creepy, I might add. Good thing the impressions are spot on!) Carry Grant buys some cigarettes from Greta Garbo and she uses her shoe to light it. Panning to the right we see a Leon Scheslinger cameo as well as a table set for Blondie and Dagwood, and a fire hydrant for Daisy. (Odd choice.)

Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, and Geore Raft pitch pennies and Harpo Marx gives Garbo a hot foot. Bing Crosby introduces our musical act as Stokowski composes. Boris Karloff dances stiffly, the 3 stooges poke each other to the beat, and Olliver Hardy dances with 2 women at once. Sally Ran does a bubble dance (She even tosses the bubble up, but we don’t see any nudity, you pervs.) Peter Lorre comments on the beauty of the bubble, and Henry Fonda gets punished by his mother for watching.

The dance ends when Harpo pops the bubble. (Good thing she was wearing a barrel underneath.) This whole time, Clark Gable has been chasing a blonde. He catches her only to find out it was Groucho in drag.

Personal Rating: 3 (unless you are a real film buff who knows who the parodies are today, then it just might reach the 4 tier.)