Tweety’s High-flying Adventure

Directed byKarl Torege, Charles Visser, James T. Walker, Kyung Won Lim
 

“Humph! Mr. Popular.”

In case you haven’t noticed, all of the shorts I’ve talked about recently had cats in them. Looney tunes are chock full of them. And so is this direct to video movie. It’s not spectacular, but I still find it enjoyable. So let’s get started.

It’s October 2nd, (I dunno, 2000 I guess) and Granny is living in London for some reason. She has two pets, namely Sylvester and Tweety. She is also a member of the Looney Club, which is located right next door to a children’s park that is going to close soon. Inside the club we see…COLONEL RIMFIRE? Wow! One of the last characters created for Looney Tunes. He doesn’t get roles anymore. Score one point for this film. He is busy ranting about the fact that he never caught his nemesis: Cool Cat. (Not that abomination created by Derek Savage. This character actually has earned his title) He takes a little solace in the fact that he was bested by a creature that was smarter than him. Not just Cool Cat, but all cats. He believes cats are the smartest creatures on the planet. (I disagree) Lucky for me, Granny is on my side, and when Rimfire says he’d bet his savings on his claim, she takes him up on it, hoping to use the winnings to restore the park. She claims that her canary can not only go around the globe in 80 days, (which would be until December 21, (I’m still going with 2000,) but also collect 80 different paw prints. It’s a big challenge, but Tweety’ll do anything for Granny. (Is it just me, or does that calendar have a picture of one of the hunters from “Horton hatches the egg” on it?) So he is given a passport to get stamped to prove he visited the locations. This gathers the attention of a shifty looking character in the crowd. It’s the Shropshire Slasher from the short “Deduce you say”. He eyes Tweety’s passport with great interest. The things might be rare soon. One’s been stolen apparently. Sylvester meanwhile plans on following the canary to make sure he and only he can have him for lunch. Outfitted with a tracking device, Tweety heads for his first stop in France. Not too long after, a wind blows him off course into the alps. Lodged into the side of a mountain, he asks a nearby climber for help. Said climber is actually Daffy, who is sore about the fact this is not his movie and refuses to help. An avalanche happens but the two are saved by snowboarder Bugs Bunny. It is now October 12, and Sylvester has been waiting in France this whole time. The script says that Tweety should have come here, could it be wrong? Nope. Here he comes now, being chased by Penelope Pussycat. She crashes into Sylvester’s table and gets a white stripe down her back. (hint hint) but that does not deter her from her purrrr-suit (weak I know.) of the bird. Not if Sylvester has anything to say about it. While they chase, Tweety get’s his passport stamped by Pepe. He then points out something he thinks he’ll like. Two skunks fighting over him. (It’s not really explained how Sylvester got a stripe as well) With those two occupied, Tweety collects Penelope’s print and flies off for Italy. Would you like to bet on whether or not Tweety will make it? Because his progress is being charted by Foghorn, Prissy, Henry, and Egghead Jr. And they’re accepting all bets. They believe he can do it. (Birds are encouraging like that) In Venice, Tweety stops at Pasquelles. The same restaurant Charlie Dog tried to make home in “A hound for trouble” He’s still there, playing waiter. Tweety orders a plate of birdseed with marinara sauce. As all Americans know, Italian food is good eating, so it’s no wonder that Tweety leaves the place plump as a turkey. He can’t even fly anymore, so he hitches a ride on a gondola. But flightless, plump, juicy, succulent birds are vulnerable. Surprise! The owner of it is a cat, and there are more up ahead on a bridge. Tweety uses his new physique to bowl over them. He gets their prints, and a stamp for Venice. (Turns out his fat was just gas. If only I had that problem) Tweety’s trip has garnered more attention, and he is even mentioned by Lola on the news. (She’s part of the cast now. So you might as well quit complaining about her.) Tweety makes it to Egypt and gets his passport stamped by a camel. (Who I think is Humpty Bumpty in a fez, but I can’t be sure.) Worn out, Tweety goes to sleep. But Sylvester must have gotten away form Pepe, (Please tell me he convinced him of his gender before it was too late.) And is back for more. After a scuffle, Tweety hides in the Sphinx. Granny wasn’t kidding about his smarts. He knows how to read Hieroglyphics. Turns out, the place has a terrible fate for anyone who tries to head down a certain hall. Since Sylvester isn’t aware, he gets attacked by mummified cats. (People really did that you know) They punch him hard enough to make a hole in the place for Tweety to escape from. He collects their prints and is on his way once more. Landing in Africa (in the jungle of crayon drawn trees) he encounters the Mynah Bird. Since that guy doesn’t talk, Tweety follows him hoping he’ll lead him to his next stamp. But he doesn’t look where he’s going and wanders into a lion’s mouth. (At least he found the stamp in there) He leaves the mouth of the beast, (which looks more like a dog dressed as a lion to me) but almost immediately runs into Pete Puma. (Why’s he here?) The two corner Tweety in a tree. (No relation to the short “Tree cornered Tweety”) Luckily for him, the Mynah comes back and saves him by flinging the predators away. With that done, Tweety heads to Tibet. He gets to a souvenir shop where Gossamar gives him another stamp. (Why not?) Tweety also catches sight of some monk cats lead by Claude. (He may look different, but the voice is a dead giveaway.) They are about to sacrifice a canary (who has hair) to their god. Tweety comes to the rescue in a snowball (picking up Hugo the abominable snowman along the way) and bowls over them. He looks just like their god and he demands that they release the bird, and knock off the canary sacrifices. Even though they agree, Tweety is a jerk and still sics Hugo on them. (But he does get their prints as well) He is joined by the other bird named Aooga. (No really.) After getting a stamp at China, the two are blown off course all the way to Mexico. At least that gives them a stamp for there. (Courtesy of Speedy) Since they are down there, they stop by Rio as well. Rocky and Muggsy are hiding out there, but they still give them a stamp. And in Argentina they get another one form (Spike? Marc Antony? Just a bulldog?) With the south taken care of, they fly back to Japan. (Seems the Slasher is still on the loose) Afterwards they decide to take a boat to their next destination. Sylvester has remembered he’s in this movie and prepares to dig in. But he’s caught by a ship hand and thrown in the galley to catch mice. The mice in question are Hubie and Bertie who are living a good life with all the cheese they can eat. Sylvester gives chase, but they use a bucket of soapy water to send him sliding off the ship. Even though he clasps on to the side, Tweety sadistically pries him off, sending him into the shark infested (badly animated water below) But he does throw him a life saver. (The things he does for Warner Bros.) The three drift to Australia. There, the passport is stamped by Hippety Hopper. (Why does he have a pouch?) And of course Sylvester thinks he’s a giant mouse. But this is also the home of the Tasmanian Devil who shows up and plans to eat some cat. Sylvester saves his hide, by encouraging him to team up so they can both get canary. They chase after the birds on a bike, (Taz really seems to be enjoying himself) but the birds make their getaway with a convenient hang glider. Sylvester leaps onto it, leaving Taz alone in the air. (He holds out Wile E. holding out a “mother” sign) The birds fly off leaving the cat stuck on the glider, but he bumps into a wind surfer. (Is that the flying fish from “The sour puss” on his sail?) The birds land atop it and ride to their next stop, San Francisco. With the putty tat still on their tails, the birds ride a skateboard through no color ville to escape. Sylvester hops aboard a trolley driven by Sam and shoves him out of the way. But he doesn’t really know how to work it, and ends up breaking the brake. (Which is sorta like winding the wind, or tearing a tear) With the vehicle out of control the two end up on Alcatraz much to Sam’s anger. The birds head off to Vegas, with Sylvester following on a train. (With an angry Sam chasing him the whole trip. He has great endurance.) Once there, Sylvester manages to get Sam taken away on another train, but loses the birds in Chalk Vegas. They are hiding in a casino which just so happens to be full of cats. They are all betting against Tweety. If they were to be spotted, they would probably chased down. Sylvester exposes their hiding spot and they are chased down. One cat catches Aoogah and I think Tweety shoves a pole up his butt. (What else could he have done?) Sylvester meanwhile has caused another cat to hit the jackpot. (Pussyfoot is with her, are they related? Also the kitten makes itself comfortable on Sylvester’s head. Adorable) The two head off again. (The Slasher also is outside. Is that other guy naked?) The two birds head off across the country collecting prints along the way. They eventually make it to New York. (It’s full of Looney Tune advertisments.) They stop for a hot dog at a cart that is by a strange looking man in a trench coat. Tweety asks a weird question to Aoogah. What kind of hot dog would she be? (what.) Sylvester is the vendor and plans to eat. During the scuffle, mustard is squirted all over the strange man, exposing him as Marvin. This gives the birds a chance to get to the airport. Tweety is sad that the fun is almost over, and decides for one more challenge, he’ll fly back to London on his own. He leaves his ticket with the stewardess and they head out. Sylvester meanwhile makes a pretty poor excuse for a poster that is framing Tweety as stealing the Passport. Good thing he showed it to a poor excuse for a cop who believes it. While this does not get him anywhere, he does get Tweety’s ticket. Guess he’ll meet them in London. The birds meanwhile have flown into a hurricane. Not only does it remove Tweety’s tracker, making the world believe he’s gone, (Now all they have left to enjoy is a man in a barrel. I’m not joking) but it separates the duo. And Aooga had the passport! Tweety feels sorry for himself, since it seems like he’s not going to win like he always does. He hears Aooga’s call and lands on an island in the eye of the storm. (Home of the worst CGI trees I’ve ever seen) Turns out the passport floats and after getting swarmed by some random cats. (Strange, but hey more prints) They fly off to London once more. Arriving in a pub, they are grabbed by the Slasher. Turns out he was behind the passport theft all along. (surprise surprise) He collects the things. He stuffs it in his pocket, and Tweety probably would have been lost if he was alone. But Aoogah snatches it back. The pollice arrive and the Slahser is forced to take off. Sylvester is with them, still clutching his poster. (I’m not surprised these guys believed it. They probably think all American posters are shoddily made.) Tweety has the passport and is presumed guilty. Sylvester takes it as Tweety is arrested and happily jumps in glee. But what’s this? There are two passports? And Tweety’s checks out. Leaving Sylvester holding the stolen one. Turns out the slasher stuck them in the same pocket he keeps his fish and chips in, and they got stuck together. (Gross. What was on those?) Sylvester won’t be a bother to them now, but Tweety is sad. According to the subtitle, it’s the 22nd. He’s late. But Aoogah points out that they crossed a time zone and actually it is the 21st! The subtitle was wrong! (ummm. The sun rises in the east. So if it’s really the 21st in London, wouldn’t it be the 20th in America?) They rush to the club. Rimfire points out that there’s only 79 prints. Tweety never managed to get Sylvester’s. Taking it back, he rushes to the police wagon and gets the last print! Rimfire reluctantly admits defeat. (And it turns out one of the other members was Cool Cat all along. And he knew Tweety would succeed. Only someone who is truly cool will admit he’s not the smartest.) For finding the missing passport, Tweety is knighted. (Not too absurd. There are King penguins) Sylvester however is off to prison.

Holy Flucking Sheet! This is the second time today I’ve had to type this up! For no apparent reason, it didn’t save. This new squarespace sucks whale balls! I hope you appreciate this post readers. I do it all for you. 

 

The Aristo-cat

“Good grief, I’m all alone!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1943

Why am I doing a post a day earlier than I usually do? Well, my dear readers, tomorrow happens to be white Wednesday. The last day where you should remember November. (Come Thanksgiving, people seem to reacall that there are 11 months.) Besides, I’m going to the movies tomorrow, and I can’t promise I’ll have time.

Don’t worrry, you are at the right place. I didn’t go all Disney on you. This short came out 27 years earlier. (Besides, I think “The Aristocats” is my least favorite Disney film anyway.) A cat named Pussy (No immature jokes please) has got it made. He’s the pet of a rich lady and therefore gets a comfy bed, breakfast brought to him in it, and complete control of Meadows the butler. He’s a bit of a dick though. Squirting grapefruit juice into his eye and letting him slip on bars of soap. It’s no surprise that Meadows quits. The cat panics as he realizes that as a pet, he has no clue how to fend for himself. (Look at those backgrounds courtesy of a one John McGrew, they are a beautiful abstract masterpiece.) In his panic, he finds a book about cats. (Written by a F.E. Line.) To his luck, it opens up to the chapter that details the eating habits of the cat. It says that they feed on mice. Sounds easy enough, but never having seen one, the cat runs in terror when he finds one. The mouse in question is Hubie, making his debut here. (You could say this cat is Claude, but the appearance is all wrong and his bed says Pussy remember? Although he does have a similar voice.) Hubie calls his friend Bertie, (just called Bert here) and shows him that the cat is no threat to them. The mice (whose colors will switch for later appearances) happily feast on cheese. They refuse to share with the cat, telling him he should eat mice. He admits he doesn’t know what they look like, and the two point him out to a nice large one named Rover. Pussy tries to make a sandwich out of him, but that goes about as well as you’d expect. (One should never try to eat something alive, that can open it’s mouth wider than you.) The cat is thrown back into the house, where he slides into the book again. Conveniently, he finds the part of the book that clearly labels the cat’s prey and enemies. With his new knowledge, he chases the mice. They run into Rover’s dog house just as the dog comes home and pounds them. Pussy wakes up, as it was just a horrible dream. Rover and the mice (sharing the bed) agree. (Keep your gay jokes to yourself please. They’re not funny.)

Bah, Humduck! (A Looney Tunes Christmas)

“What do I look like, an ATM?”

Merry Christmas to all who visit my humble blog! With Christmas nearby, it is time to talk about this special. It starts with our narrator, Bugs Bunny. He declares that even though rabbits are associated with Easter, he still loves Christmas. (Besides remember the last Easter we saw Bugs?) He is nearly hit by a limo. The owner of said limo? Daffy Duck. Owner of the Luckyduck Superstore. He has an awesome hover scooter, and not one speck of generosity. He refuses to help a poor, homeless, (playboy) penguin, and steals the bucket of carolers egghead jr., henrey hawk, barnyard dawg as a puppy for some reason, (?) and Priscilla Pig. (more on her later.) Daffy has many employees working at his store. Including Sam sheepdog, Miss Prissy, Charlie dog, the three bears, a security guard (Gossamar) who is sitting on Santa (Cecil) Turtles lap, Foghorn Leghorn, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Claude cat, Hubie and Bertie, Mac and Tosh, Beaky Buzzard, Hippitey Hopper, and  a (Pete) Puma janitor. (Just like in Tiny Toons) He also has some employees with a bit more personality. Including Elmer Fudd, who works very hard, and is exhausted, he needs time off. Wile E. Coyote, who is constantly hungry, and needs food. Marvin the Martian who is homesick and wishes to return home for the holidays. (Martian Christmas?) Speedy Gonazales who does wrapping, Pepe Le Pew, who tries to get to know a shopper who looks just like skunk, (No really Penelope, why do you have that stripe?) and my man, Porky Pig, his assisstant manager. Whom Daffy shortly demotes to assisstant-assissant manager. Bugs warns him that greedy people tend to get visited by Christmas ghosts. Daffy has no worry and heads to his office. There he is visited by his idol, Sylvester the (cat) Investor. He was the greediest person around, before he was murdered. Daffy now has that title, and is being warned that he must change his ways. He may be spooked, but Daffy is sure this is a prank. After visited by Bugs again, (he was searching for cheap skates, and was directed here.) he gets a passage delivered by a roadrunner. (I have no idea, if he is an employee or not.) It is a gift Daffy sent to himself, a godly remote that can do just about anything for his office. His emplyoees then come asking for favors, but are are snubbed. Porky just wants to have Christmas off so he can spend time with his daughter, Priscilla. (Now let me just say, that she is ADORABLE! She is proably the second cutest cartoon character ever! Right after Bubbles of the powerpuff girls. It is no coincidence, that this is true, Tara Strong is great at playing cuties. To an extent. In my opinion “Drawn Together” is one of the worst excueses for a cartoon ever. Mostly because it looks like it might be a decent show. Animation sterotypes living together? Genius! But they screw it up and make it in really bad taste. And then insult much better cartoons as well. Rant over.) Daffy refuses and demands that everyone come in at 5:00 AM the next day. Everyone leaves discouraged. Bugs is still there with Daffy as the exits are covered in snow. Daffy demands the seperate and soon after, is visited by the ghost of Christmas past. Or rather ghosts. Granny and Tweety take Daffy back to his past, and we see how hard his childhood was. He lived at an orphanage, and was never adopted. Morons. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt the world’s funniest duck? (I said FUNNIEST, not most popular. Donald fans stop threating me.) And for that matter where is that swan? She took him in. Forget it. This does little to change his ways and Daffy just wants to use their powers “Back to the Future 2” style to get more money. He is sent back to the store. The ghost of Christmas present is played by… Yosemite Sam? I think you could have chosen a better character for that. Maybe swicth with Sylvester? Anyways, he shows Daffy how hard his employes lives are. Another adorable scene shows, that Priscilla wants two things for Christmas, a doll, and for her daddy to spend it with her. (Too. Cute. Someday i’m going to buy a pig. And it will have Mrs. Strong’s voice so help me Bob.) Daffy is not convinced quite yet, and begs Bugs to hide him. They reenact “Tom Turk and Daffy” but ultimately Daffy is taked by the ghost of Christmas future, the Tasmanian Devil. He sees his grave, and learns that his employees are out of jobs, because he tried to will the store to himself. Porky remarks that at least he and Priscilla can spend Christmas together. (With Porky! She didn’t die yet!) Being an angel, she leves some cookies for Daffy, (which look hilarious) and wishes him luck, since she knows he’s not in heaven. (Laughing) Daffy finally resolves to change his ways and the next day, gives everyone a paid vacation, as well as a rocket home for Marvin, and a personal chef for Wile. (Francois from “French Rarebit”) Even Pepe gets a kiss from Penelope. (her choice. she wasn’t bribed) Daffy sees how much his genorosity is going to cost him, and briefly tries to get it back, when Priscilla offers him a hilarious looking cookie, and calls him Uncle. (I wish she’d do that to me) Daffy remains generous to the delight of Bugs and the ghosts. We end with Priscilla saying our “That’s all Folks!” (Did i mention how adorable she is?)

Overall this short, is nothing great, but if you are a Looney Tunes fan, you’ll enjoy it. 

Mouse Wreckers

“What’d i do? What’d I do?”

Hubie and bertie are happy to find a new place to call home, but there’s one problem with it. Claude. According to all those trophies he’s a champion mouser and the mice are going to have to get rid of him, if they are to live there. They hide on the roof, and hubie lowers bertie down the chimney to the cat, to torment him and get away quickly. They use sticks, bellows, and even a dog to drive claude crazy. They even tie a rock to his tail and throw it off the roof, dragging him along with it. Claude is shaken to say the least, but he convinces himself it was all a dream. While he sleeps the mice try their coupe de gracie. They nail all the furniture to the celing, somehow get the lamp to point upward and put it on the floor, and wake up claude. He is scared to find himself on the ceiling but freaks out even more when he climbs into the next room, and finds its rightside up, but the windows show upisde down horizons and fish. He runs screaming from the house as the mice get comfortable

Cheese Chasers

“Theres nothing left to live for”

It’s Hubie and Bertie’s last cartoon! To commemerate they decide to eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat all the cheese they can! After eating tons of the stuff, they feel they can never stomach again. (this has happened to me) figuring that suicide is the only answer they climb into claude’s mouth. Claude is suspicous as to why natural prey of his want to die. He tries to bribe them with cheese but he just freaks out more, when they refuse to eat it. Now that this has happened, claude figures he can never enjoy mice again. He decides to end it all at the hands of a bulldog. The dog wonders why claude wants to die, and freaks out even more when the mice want the same thing. In the end, the dog chases a dog catcher’s van… with claude and the mice in hot pursuit.

The Bugs Bunny Show

“On with the show, this is it!”

During the sixties looney tunes was on its last legs. Also during this time looney tunes got a tv show. The premise is bugs showing us cartoons with various bridge sequences, such as bugs feeding taz carrots or slowpoke coming to visit speedy. The show was black and white which may have been odd, since all the shorts in the theaters were color, but that was a small price to pay for a masterpiece. Now for the bad news. This show is gone and i can not find any full episodes. If you ever have seen, or have any somehow, you are quite lucky.

Space Jam

“You guys are nuts” “Correction, we’re looney tunes”

I love this movie, but then again i am a looneytunes fanboy. It’s sad most of the world seems to hate it. I think that is bull crap. This is a masterpiece if ever there was one. At least it did great at the box office. The history is that people made commercials with bugs and michael advertising basketball shoes. So they figures making a movie was a good idea. I think it was. Our plot is that a theme park in outerspace, (it is not specified which planet, i think the whole park is its own planet) sucks. (How can people say that? Didn’t you ever want to ride an astro orbiter wannabe that shoots at you. Oh yeah, me neither) The owner decides they need new attractions and figures that the looney tunes are just the thing. I’d come. However bugs tricks them into thinking they need to give the toons a chance to defend themselves. Since the aliens are short and have tiny limbs, basketball seems like a shoe in. However the aliens have the ability to steal the ability from five NBA players. Luckily jordan retired at this time. So they don’t nab him. The toons get him for their side and we get the greatest game in all history! This also introduced us to lola. She did not have much of a personality in this movie, save for being attracted to bugs. Obviously she was popular though as she appeared in baby looney tunes, tweety’s high flying adventure, and the looney tunes show. Bottom line if you hate this you have no taste and at the very least you have to watch it once. (There must be more who love this i know it) Tune in next time where i name all the looneytunes who appear in it as well as some interesting facts. woo hoo hoo hoo woo hoo!

The Hypo-chondri-cat

“Have you ever operated on a sick cat before doctor?’

Its a rainy night and hubie and bertie have just settled in to their new home, eating cheese by the fire. They run into claude and a chase ensures. It looks like they are trapped but an open window sends claude running to his bed to make sure he did not catch a cold. The mice now know his weakness and decide to torment him. He changes color at their suggestion and is soon begging them for their help. They get ready for a operation and claude faints. He has a way disturbing fever dream (can you say extremley creepy?) and wakes to find the mice crying at what appears to be his grave. He tries to tell them he is alive but they walk right by. The clock strikes 12 and hubie recalls that at midnight ghosts appear. They see claude and he begs them for their help again. They push him off a cliff and he begins to fly towards cat heaven (thanks to a balloon) Now filled with an inner peace he bids the mice farewell. I wonder what happens when he finds out its not real?