Go Fly a Kit

“What’s she in love with anyway, a DC6?”

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1957

It’s 2016 and I’m still here. There are hundreds of shorts still, so let’s not waste any time!

At an airport a cat (although she looks more like a kitten to me) gazes longingly at the runway. A guy takes notice of her an asks another what she is doing. Apparently, she is waiting for her boyfriend. Wait, what now? The second man tells of how there was an eagle with an overdeveloped motherly instinct. So powerful, that she’d rather raise a kitten as her own rather than eat it. She’s also smart enough to realize he’s a mammal, as she brings him milk to eat. (Birds are kinda lacking in the milk department. Unless you’re a pigeon.) She even tries teaching him to fly. While he plummets at first, he finds if he wags his tail enough, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly! The two love each other very much, but as nature intended, he must eventually leave the nest. (Don’t cry Miss eagle. I’m sure you’ll find a human baby you can raise) He flies on and lands on a telephone wire to try and chat with some (tweeting?) crows. They fly off in a panic. Either it’s that moment where he realizes he’s no bird, or his hormones kick in, because he sees another cat being chased by… Marc Antony? (I can’t confirm or deny it’s him, but I’m going to say it is. Otherwise it breaks my “character must have appeared in 5 shorts to get an article” rule. And after that McKimson mess last summer, I’d rather not have any more mistakes.) Flying, he both scratches Marc and takes the cat up a tree to be safe. It’s love at first sight! (Names? Uh, how about Swoop and Amber?) Swoop isn’t done messing with Marc though and flies down as the dog begins to charge. Despite the fact she just saw him fly, Amber freaks out. Obviously, there’s no need to worry. Swoop leaps up to scratch again and Marc skids into a lake. He sneaks out to surprise the cat. (I still think they look like kittens, frankly) Amber sees this and tries to warn her savior, but he seems too entranced by her beauty to move. (That happened to me with a chicken once. She filed a restraining order) But Swoop seems on top of things, as he flies out of the scuffle, leaving Marc chewing his own leg. He tries to club the cat, which is on his head. Naturally he keeps hitting himself. Eventually, he traps the cat under a trash can. He thinks he’s won, but he doesn’t notice that the cat is somehow strong enough to lift the can with a bulldog on top and leave it atop a skyscraper. The dog can’t sit still as he must keep balance. Come night he’s still there. (That’s harsh. You couldn’t have just landed him in a pound?) The couple takes a moonlight stroll and gaze into each other’s eyes. The story ending, the man says that every year the cat flies south. (Umm… most Eagles don’t migrate, and those that do wouldn’t have such a simple migration path.) Oh, who am I to ruin this moment. The happiness on Amber’s face is more than precious as Swoop returns. She’s not the only one happy to see him though. Their children (who inherited or learned their father’s flight) are too. (He’s still her boyfriend though. It’s not like cats mate for life.) The happy couple gazes into each other’s eyes again and their offspring do the same to one another. (uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Please tell me they’re just imitating them since they are young. Otherwise this is probably the most disturbing short I’ve yet to see. Animals or not, I don’t want them inbreeding.)  

Cat Feud

“Electro-Magnetic Crane”

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1958.

Well, forget that Marc Anthony and Pussyfoot ever met. According to this short, this is how it all began. Of course, Marc is gray here, so it might just be an alternate universe. The short itself starts in a construction site. Marc Anthony is a guard dog who marches in time to the short’s soundtrack. He takes great pride in his work and ferociously barks at a moving bag that contains a kitten. (Um… Why was it in a bag, in a trash can? Humanity! What’s wrong with you!) Despite the large canine barking in it’s face, the kitten is not afraid and instead makes itsel comfortalbe on the dog’s back. He falls for the cutie and adopts him. He sets him down with a sausage to eat, while he continues his rounds. Hungry eyes are watching however. A creature that looks like a mix between Claude Cat and the Grinch. So we’ll call him Grinch cat. He heads for the meaty treat, but as soon as he lays one paw on it, Marc Antony is there to pound him. But he’s not going to give up that easily, as he begins to raise the I-beam the kitten is on. In turn, Pussyfoot wakes up and takes note of the meal in its possession. With the dog’s help the kitten, manages to not walk off into the abyss, but he is left hanging by another beam. Grinch cat, shakes it a bit, (sure showed him.) and goes back to the hunt. (I really like how he’s animated.) When he does get the sausage from the kitten, the kitten shows it is not pleased. Grinch cat does the ole “Go on, hit me!” routine, not seeing the I-beam Marc Antony has sent heading for his skull. Thinking it was the kitten, he doesn’t notice that once more he’s about to be I-beamed. (And I beamed.) Fearing the obviously herculean super kitty, Grinch cat grabs a hammer. Marc in turn makes use of today’s quote and pulls him and the hammer up. Grinch falls down, and Marc releases the hammer head. The cat grabs a hardhat and keeps his cranium intact. But the clever dog, turns the magnent back on, and the cat flies back up. Then Marc just trolls him by quickly turning the thing off and on. But he has to stop, when he sees his precious Pussyfoot about to fall again. He saves (him/her/it) and Grinch tries to make a break for it. He gets his foot caught in a bucket though, and the magnent grabs him again, wedging him between the pail and the hat. Later that night, he’s still up there as the dog and kitten happily bunk down for the night.

 

Guess who is going to a symphony tonight? Not just any one though, this one is going to be playing a tribute to Looney Tunes. A dream come true! Here’s wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

Kiss me Cat

“A cat that won’t catch mice, and now a crazy dog.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1953

It’s a continuation story! (That’s rare for Warner Bros.) Marc Anthony happily sleeps with his kitten Pussyfoot. (Whose name is used for the first time here.) They are happy together. The lady of the house, (whose name is revealed to be Vi. no relation to last weeks post) tells her husband, Tom, that she has seen a mouse. Despite the fact that Pussyfoot is a flucking kitten, Tom says that if he, (they say “he” but I’ve heard that Pussyfoot is a her. I’ll just say he for now) doesn’t catch mice, then they will get a new cat. While he doesn’t outright say they’ll replace the current one, it’s definitely implied. Marc decides to teach his pet to catch mice. He shoves him into the mouse’s hole and the result is too cute for words, so you’ll just have to see it yourself.

That is too precious for words. But if Tom sees that, then Pussyfoot definitely will be gone. Marc tries drawing some pictures to get the point across. (Pussyfoot imitating his expression) It doesn’t work and the mouse just uses the cat as a mule once more. Marc attaches some cheese to a jack-in-the-box and the mouse faints. He puts the mouse in the kittens mouth and begs Tom to come see. He’s too slow and the mouse takes his mule out again. In desperation, Marc shows he can do ballet. Tom isn’t amused. (I am.) While Marc thinks of a new plan, the mouse lures Pussyfoot into his hole. He sends a ransom note that demands cheese in small chunks, or the cat will be returned in small chunks. (Dang. That’s dark.) Marc calls his bluff, until he hears squeals of pain. (Really just the mouse pretending. Pussyfoot is having some milk. He’s not such a bad mouse.) Marc gives in, and Tom catches him in the act. Marc gets another idea. He puts a magnifying mirror up to the hole and tells the mouse to see the NEW cat. When the mouse sees this, (Pussyfoot only looks mean because Marc Anthony squished his brow down.) he high tails it out of there with his family. (He was just trying to survive. Tom and Vi, you two are evil.) Marc Anthony proudly shows off the champion. Looks like they’ll continue to have many happy days together.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 5)

Back at Acme, Mr. Chariman is gloating over the success. Damian still believes that D.J. will foil his plans. Mr. Chairman has the Peter Lorre Scientist keep using a machine that makes Damien hit himself. Looking at the map, they see that Daffy got himself in the shot, making it useless. They decide to go face our heros and use their most dangerous operative: The Tasmanian Devil. (When the Vice President of “Never Learning” points out that he’s kinda dumb, Taz eats him) In Africa our heros are making slow progress when who should appear? No not Inki. (That would’ve been awesome) It’s Granny, Sylvester, and Tweety on an elephant. They offer them a ride. Bugs points out how they came at just the right time, and Granny and Sylvester share a evil look. Could THEY be Acme agents? They take a safari and end up at the temple. Granny bids them farewell. (Phew. I guess they were alright) When they enter Daffy sets off a booby trap by taking a small monkey like object off a pedestal. Kate figures out that it’s a puzzle piece and quickly puts it into its spot. It reveals the parth to the Blue Monkey as well as the gem itself. D.J. accidentally turns himself into a Capuchin monkey and Daffy tries to make off with the gem. Bugs convinces him to change D.J. back. Then Granny and Co. show up and demand the diamond. Oh No! They were evil! Except not really. These were disguises. Granny and Sylvester reveal themselves to be Mr. Chairman and Bob. Tweety is Taz and he farts. (I hate this part. Warner Bros. never had to reduce themselves to such immature humor. Otherwise this film would have been perfect) Mr. Chairman also reveals that he is really Damien! No wait, he’s Michael Jordan! No wait, he’s really MR. CHAIRMAN! (funny) Bob takes out a device that transports them all to Acme. Bob then reveals to Taz that he is really the Tasmanian She Devil. (Yeah, Taz was kinda worthless in this movie. shame) At Acme everyone has been spliced with one another. While we laugh, Mr. Chairman fixes everything. He finally gets the TV to work right and shows that if D.J. does not give up the diamond, Damien will die by a train, exploding dynamite and an anvil. (But not the pendulum of doom. That’s overkill) Wile is overseeing all this. D.J. stupidly relents and Mr. Chairman does not release Damian. (Did you really expect him to?) He calls Marvin and tells him to go into space with the diamond. Marvin takes off and Daffy runs after him taking another ship. (That was being worked on by an Instant Martian) To his dismany, Bugs is along for the ride. They get into a brief fight with Marvin by keying his ship. Mr. Chairman tells his prisnors that the gem will loaded onto a satellite that will turn everyone on earth into monkeys. (You gotta have really dedicated henchmen to go along with this) Well not everyone. Mr. Chairman is going to be in a safe room with Mary as company. Told you she’d come back. (She doesn’t look too thrilled) Marvin puts the auto pilot on but Bugs and Daffy get rid of him by tricking him into rolling down his window so they can ask for directions. He is sucked out into space. (Daffy: Well whattya know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you 5 bucks.) But Marvin is not gone yet, he’s clinging to the underside of their ship. They arrive at the satellite and Daffy volunteers Bugs to go get the diamond out of the other ship. D.J. and Kate are tied up and left hanging by a rope near Damian. D.J. easily breaks free before realizing that there was a reason it was so easy to escape. Releasing themselves also releases an Acme robo-dog. (He kinda looks like Chester) Bugs runs into Marvin again, and takes on his bubble gun with his carrot light saber. Daffy is cowering and wondering what to do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Realizing he IS Duck Dodgers, Daffy grabs a jetpack that blows up before he can say his name. (It happens four more times) D.J. and Kate are barely able to escape the dog, by hooking his collar onto a hook. D.J. just barely rescues his dad, and Wile (who was piloting the train) blows up with the dynamite. (He feels that he’s not paid enough) In space, Marvin traps Bugs in one of the bubbles, and the satellite is about to fire. Daffy gets caught between two of the pylons and his beak detaches again. Using his skills he has learned from this happening all the time, he throw his bill, (ignoring the fact there’s no gravity) and it lands on the laser. His bill closes itself and the laser begins to backfire. Bugs escapes and dispatches Marvin with his own gun and the satellite begins to explode. Only two shots of the laser escape Daffy’s bill. One flies off into space never to be seen again. The other flies down to Earth and hits Mr. Chairman who was checking to see if everyone was monkeys yet. Daffy saves Bugs from floating away and they return to the ship. (Bugs won’t say that Daffy is his hero) The others find a sobbing Mary (I guess she did love him) and a simian Chairman. He is arrested and Damian and D.J. hug. They quickly leave when they see the rocket coming towards them. Mr. Chairmonkey runs away. (Perfect for a sequel methinks) and Daffy and D.J. congratulate each other. Bugs admits that Daffy deserves the credit, but Daffy is so sure this is a “rabbit season-duck season trick” that he refuses to go along with it. Kate admits that she likes D.J. and Bugs congratulates Daffy on finally getting to be the hero. Daffy gloats that Bugs never got him into is movie when the entire building gets taken away. Yes, this whole story WAS the movie and Daffy was not aware of it. (Ma bear brings Bugs a towel) D.J. punches out Brenden Fraser, (laugh) and Bugs admits that Daffy and him should be equal from now on. (While he is being given carrots by Charlie Dog, Heathcliff from “Dough Ray Me-ow”, the squirrel from “Much Ado about Nutting”, Marc Antony and Pussyfoot, Egghead, Mr. Gruesome Gorilla, and Hippety Hopper) Daffy barely avoids a falling stage light, and comments that his luck is already improving. He is crushed by the Looney Tunes rings. My man Porky comes out to say his famous closing line but his stutter is worse than usaul, and everyone leaves. Porky: “Go home Folks.” Not until I’ve seen the credits! We get a rockin song along with some animation. (Some of which I’m sure is from deleted scenes) At the end of all this, we get a final joke. Daffy is running form Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith in the casino and pulls a slot machine. It stops on three cherries. The thugs happily hold out their hats, but the cherries are really bombs and they blow up! What a great movie! My favorite film of all time.

Cheese Chasers

“Theres nothing left to live for”

It’s Hubie and Bertie’s last cartoon! To commemerate they decide to eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat all the cheese they can! After eating tons of the stuff, they feel they can never stomach again. (this has happened to me) figuring that suicide is the only answer they climb into claude’s mouth. Claude is suspicous as to why natural prey of his want to die. He tries to bribe them with cheese but he just freaks out more, when they refuse to eat it. Now that this has happened, claude figures he can never enjoy mice again. He decides to end it all at the hands of a bulldog. The dog wonders why claude wants to die, and freaks out even more when the mice want the same thing. In the end, the dog chases a dog catcher’s van… with claude and the mice in hot pursuit.

The Bugs Bunny Show

“On with the show, this is it!”

During the sixties looney tunes was on its last legs. Also during this time looney tunes got a tv show. The premise is bugs showing us cartoons with various bridge sequences, such as bugs feeding taz carrots or slowpoke coming to visit speedy. The show was black and white which may have been odd, since all the shorts in the theaters were color, but that was a small price to pay for a masterpiece. Now for the bad news. This show is gone and i can not find any full episodes. If you ever have seen, or have any somehow, you are quite lucky.

Space Jam

“You guys are nuts” “Correction, we’re looney tunes”

I love this movie, but then again i am a looneytunes fanboy. It’s sad most of the world seems to hate it. I think that is bull crap. This is a masterpiece if ever there was one. At least it did great at the box office. The history is that people made commercials with bugs and michael advertising basketball shoes. So they figures making a movie was a good idea. I think it was. Our plot is that a theme park in outerspace, (it is not specified which planet, i think the whole park is its own planet) sucks. (How can people say that? Didn’t you ever want to ride an astro orbiter wannabe that shoots at you. Oh yeah, me neither) The owner decides they need new attractions and figures that the looney tunes are just the thing. I’d come. However bugs tricks them into thinking they need to give the toons a chance to defend themselves. Since the aliens are short and have tiny limbs, basketball seems like a shoe in. However the aliens have the ability to steal the ability from five NBA players. Luckily jordan retired at this time. So they don’t nab him. The toons get him for their side and we get the greatest game in all history! This also introduced us to lola. She did not have much of a personality in this movie, save for being attracted to bugs. Obviously she was popular though as she appeared in baby looney tunes, tweety’s high flying adventure, and the looney tunes show. Bottom line if you hate this you have no taste and at the very least you have to watch it once. (There must be more who love this i know it) Tune in next time where i name all the looneytunes who appear in it as well as some interesting facts. woo hoo hoo hoo woo hoo!

Feed the Kitty

“Don’t you dare bring one more thing into this house”

A little kitten comes across a big dog. He tries to frighten her but she treats him as her bed. Falling for he Marc Antony takes her to her new home. The mistress of the house has just warned him to not bring in anymore things and now he must try to keep the kitten hidden. This lady never stops moving and frequently runs into it. Puppy has to pass it off as a toy and a powder puff just to keep it safe. When she comes into the kitchen he hides it in the flour bin. Wouldn’t you know it, she is about to make cookies. He tries to save her but the mistress throws him out. Unknowenst to him his kitty crawls out of the bowl but not before he thinks shes been beaten, rolled out, cut into shapes, and baked. The dog is reduced to a blubbering wreck and the woman tries to cheer him up with a cat shaped cookie. (seriously who makes cookies shaped like cats?) He puts it on his back and cries but suprise shes alive. The woman finally gets wise and says if he takes care of it, he can keep it. A happy ending for all.