Category: Speedy Gonzales

The fastest mouse in Mexico. (Maybe the world) Are you a lady? Then you’re probably already on a first name basis with him.

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A Message to Gracias

“To cousin Speedy, everyway is the shorts-cut.”

Directed by Robert Mckimson. Released in 1964

This short has a most fitting title. Unlike a majority of shorts, this one does not get it’s name from some form of wordplay or song title, but rather it flat out tells what the short will be about.

It begins at the H.Q. of a mouse named El Supremo. I don’t really know what kind of power that entails, but he’s fat so we can assume he’s a tyrant. He needs a message delivered to his friend, General Gracias. (Interesting name) He sends out a mouse named Manuel who is denied the privilege of finishing his will. The runs out into the cruel, hungry world, and while the other mice think he will make it, we know full well that he is going to be food. The mice mark another one down.

As El ponders how to get this message through, one of his mice suggests Speedy. Supremo agrees that it’s a good idea and is glad he thought of it. I’m not a fan when characters do that. Better add him to my list of annoying people I want to hurt. (…Fools who say Disney and Nintendo are only for kids, A-holes who kill animals but don’t eat them, The cast of “The tenth kingdom”…) They send a message and Speedy arrives. El gives him his orders of how he must cross a desert, climb over mountains, and cut through a jungle to get to Alcapulco. Which probably means if you’re bored enough, you can figure out where this errand is starting. Then you can challenge yourself to traverse the same route. Speedy runs over the waiting Sylvester, leaving behind some flames, and runs along the road making it bend much like the Roadrunner does. (I wonder which of those two would win a race. And on that note, why do I suddenly have four shadows?)

Sylvester is smart enough to chase him in a car, but Speedy stops for lunch break and Sylvester crashes. Next, they’re in the jungle. (Either nothing interesting happened in the mountains, or Speedy ran around them.) Sylvester takes aim from a boat in the river, but hits his head on a branch and shoots the boat instead. He ends up running from Caimans. He sets up a snare trap and catches a…I’ll be honest; I have no idea what that is. It looks kind of like Sam Sheepdog, the Tasmanian Devil, some green paint and some periods were all thrown in a blender. Maybe it’s just a radioactive jaguar?

Sylvester is eventually able to lasso Speedy, but the mouse drags him into a tree and ties him up. Speedy delivers the message which turns out to be a simple birthday poem. What’s more, it looks like Supremo only needed someone to distract the cat so he could come over with cake. Speedy is rightfully annoyed and lets Sylvester go. The cat chases the two bass turds into the distance. Speedy makes no effort to hide the fact that they will soon be eaten. (Can’t be good for the heart.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Chili Weather

“All these foods and not a crumb to eat.”

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1963.

There’s a food plant, and where there’s edible goods, you’re bound to attract mice. Good thing whoever owns the place has Sylvester on guard duty. Speedy almost immediately comes by and offers to help the mice get some grub. He actually manages to run in and out the first time, without Sylvester noticing. When he does become aware, he chases the mouse onto one of the conveyor belts. While Speedy compliments how much easier it is running this way, (and barely misses being chopped up) Sylvester is chopped up.

Speedy greases the floor and Sylvester slips into a vat of tobasco sauce. Sitting on ice cools him down somehow. (He’s not even licking it, not that it would help, but was the sauce being cooked? It didn’t look heated.) While Speedy looks at some soda bottles, (I don’t know what’s in there, but they say “es bueno” on the side. That’s good enough for me! *takes*) Sylvester comes back and actually grabs him. (2 posts in a row? New record!) But the bottle cap machine caps him and blinds him, simultaneously. (He must be really small.)

He manages to get it off with a bottle opener, but Speedy surprises him and he jumps back up into it. Speedy’s inner troll emerges and he takes it away. Sylvester blindly swings a bat around and doesn’t notice he’s running into the dehydrator. (It appears to belong to a someone named Gomez. Or maybe that’s the machine’s name?) He shrinks and is now able to get the cap off. Seeing Speedy, he runs off in fear. (After years of chasing Hippety Hopper, he’s finally found a real giant mouse.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Mexican Boarders

“When do we eat? I’m hungry.”

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1962.

In this short Sylvester chases Speedy through the house of J. C. Mendelez. (Him again?)  Naturally, Speedy is too fast to catch, and Sylvester wears himself out just by climbing the stairs. There is a knock at the door. Why, it’s none other than Slowpoke Rodriguez! Haven’t seen him since “Mexicali Shmoes.” (If you translate his song, you find out he’s singing about a cockroach who lacks marijuana. Don’t you dare say he’s an evil stereotype. From what I hear, he’s very popular in Latin America.)

Turns out he’s Speedy’s cousin and the cat gleefully lets him in. Slowpoke lives up to his name and plods in. (I like his hat. It changes color with every step he takes.) Speedy grabs him in the nick of time and brings him back to his hole. Slowpoke wants food. (Also, he’s not voiced by Mel. It’s a man named Tom Holland. Who I’m 96% sure is not the same Tom Holland who directed “Childs Play.”) Speedy offers to get it as he is the faster of the two. He brings back some sustenance. He forgot the tobasco sauce though, and races back. While he’s getting the sauce, Sylvester puts some glue on the ground. Speedy comes back, and Sylvester’s trap actually works. He grabs the mouse, but really should have removed the sauce as it gets poured down his throat.

Slowpoke has enjoyed the food, and wonders about dessert. Sylvester has set up a net which Speedy rushes through. When the cat tries it, he is cubed. That night, Slowpoke is hungry again. I don’t know if he’s trying to let Speedy rest or if Speedy is refusing to go out, but Slowpoke decides to head out himself. Speedy tells him not to, but Slowpoke is fine admitting that he is slow. (Not that way. I meant speed wise.) Still, he is not helpless. (Remember his gun?) Sylvester grabs him but Slowpoke has a different tactic this time. (Perhaps Peta told him to stop shooting cats?)

Making a face that I will undoubtedly see in my nightmares, he hypnotizes the feline. (Unlike in the Pokemon games, this Slowpoke can learn hypnosis. Come to think of it, don’t girls have this power too?) Now under mouse control, Sylvester is forced to fan the mice as they have another feast.

Personal Rating: 4

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The Pied Piper of Guadalupe

“Don’t go Armando! No! Don’t go!”

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1961

Another Academy nominee? Speedy sure got a few of those didn’t he? So what did it lose to? (*Google search*) “Ersatz”? That’s a darn, fine film to lose to.

Sylvester it seems, has really lost his touch. He can’t catch any mice. They’re fast and they carry demeaning signs and smack him with planks. Thinking in front of a book sale, (One of which is apparently written by story man Warren Foster. Which makes perfect sense.) he spies a copy of the Pied Piper. Surely, the same thing would work on mice as well as rats. After taking some lessons from the J.C. Mendelez, he gets dressed up to play the part and begins to play his flute. The mice laugh at his attempts, but soon stop when it works. They can’t help but dance over to him, where he knocks them out and places them in his jug. Even tying their tails to a stake can’t hold them back and soon they’re all captured. Save one.

Speedy is still there. (Did he not hear the music?) He asks for the gato to release his friends, or Speedy will just have to rescue them. Underestimating him again, (Sylvester! You have to stop doing that.) he opens the jug and Speedy makes good of his word. Sylvester plays the flute and Speedy dances over only to smack him with a mallet. Why is Speedy immune? It’s not fair or good story writing. You could have shown Speedy trying to sleep, plugging his ears to keep out the noise, and warning his friends that their teasing is dangerous.

Sylvester ditches his cute outfit and hides in a barrel with some dynamite. Speedy rolls the barrel along which ends up trapping Sylvester in the container with a lit explosive and a dog. He gets a motorcycle and chases the mouse, who stops short at a cliff and lets the cat careen over the edge. Sylvester eventually gets out, but Speedy next leads him into a collision with a bus. Sylvester has no choice but to go to the “El Gato Infirmary” and get some casts on his broken bones. Speedy points out he dropped his flute. (“Don’t you want heem?” “No, I don’t want ‘heem’.”) Sylvester tells Speedy he can have it. The mouse plays and Sylvester is forced to dance after him on his broken foot. (That’s harsh.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Cannery Woe

“I don’t he like us also, too.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1961

In what I think is the mouse version of the slums, two mice wake up. As is typical of Speedy shorts, (Is that a spoiler?) they have the names of Manuel and Jose. They are hungry, and I guess there either is no food for them, or they are just lazy, because they list off a bunch of potential people they could mooch off of but don’t like them anymore instead of deciding on where/what to eat. But it appears to be their lucky day! Mayor Raton, (Spanish for mouse) is holding a fiesta to encourage others to reelect him. He’s even giving away free cheese for everyone.

Except our main characters. They are kicked out. (Hypocrite.) Despite the fact they are unwelcome, they watch from atop a wall and show their support anyway. The mayor calls for the cheese committee to bring out the goods. They look like they’ve been to war. It turns out there is a new addition to the store where they have always gotten cheese. Namely a cat. All is lost! (American mice would go on anyway. And then be eaten. Patriotic pride is no match for mother nature.) Jose and Manuel somehow get in without being thrown out and offer to help. Seems they know of a very fast mouse who left Jose with a whistle to blow if he is ever needed. (Speedy would turn 8 this year. He’s still not more well known in his country?) They will call him if they are granted their demands. Which are whispered, as if we didn’t already know what they want. The mayor (and his nose that turned tan for a slight second) agrees and Speedy is summoned.

Speedy goes to the store where Sylvester once again, underestimates him. Speedy runs through his legs and tears some fur off. (“Speedy was here!”) And again on his way out. (“Also here!”) Sylvester lays some tacks down. Speedy goes around and the cat runs through them after him. (Twice.) He gets stuck lighting a cannon, but Speedy helps by pulling the cord. The cannonball somehow doesn’t hit Sylvester as it is fired but lands on his head. Sylvester sets up many mousetraps inside, but ends up cornering himself. Speedy tosses a ping-pong ball at them which sets them all off.

Having brought back enough cheese, the Mayor is true to his word and grants Jose and Manuel their request. To be the official cheese judges. As for Speedy? He gets to be the chick inspector. What does that even mean? Does he judge the females on how attractive they are and refuses the ugly ones the right to stay? Who knows? Pfft, Men. (For the third time.)

Personal Rating: 3

We regret to inform those who come by, that there will not be a new update next week. I’ll be going on a trip. We will resume afterwards. Stay Looney.

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West of the Pesos

“Mio Speedito is muy loco.”

Directed by Robert McKimson.  Released in 1960

I just want to say that this place has been getting fairly popular lately. I want to thank everyone who stops by. Especially those leaving comments. They really make my day. Now on with the show.

Our story takes place in a village called “Veelage.” (That is probably the best name ever.) In a nearby lab, a one Sylvester J. Pussycat is guarding the entrance. Inside, several mice await their doom. And for anyone who is concerned that animal labs are hardly different from concentration camps, can rest easy. This one is okay because it says “Expieramento Scienteefic” on the front. (That’s reasonable) The other mice in town are worried and have set up a sign that lists the missing mice. (Two of which include Pablo Picasso and animator Manuel Perez, who ironically didn’t work on this short.)

They would like to go save everyone, but they are not fast enough. Why not Speedy? Well, he’s in Guadalajara at the moment. He’d need a pretty good reason to come down. A mouse-ette named Carmella might do the trick. She gives him a call and he’s there in no time. (Pfft, men.) He agrees to help and walks up to the gate. He tells “El Poosygato” about how he plans to come in and rescue his people. Chuckling, Sylvester opens up the gate. Speedy runs, and slips right through Sylvester’s paws. (Leaving a bad case of mouse-burn, I might add.) Slyvester works fast and quickly sets up a snare trap. Speedy ends up dragging him through the little knot hole it’s threaded through. He brings the mouse back where he is immediately hugged by his… wife? Maybe? Whoever she is, it’s nice not to have all the females lusting after Speedy this time.

Sylvester waits with a rock, but Speedy surprises him and he drops it on himself. After getting more mice, they run out under a can. They hide by two more. Sylvester checks them all. The last one contains a dynamite stick. (The second one had the mice.) On the next run out, the mice dress as a dog to keep the kitty away. It works until one trips out of the disguise, exposing the jig. Sylvester chases but still crashes into the wall. Speedy sets some train tracks that lead into the building, and runs out pulling the mice in cars. (Speedy uses a cigar to imitate smoke. He won’t be able to run so mast for much longer.) Sylvester hides behind a tunnel with his mouth open, but the train comes out through his tail. That’s the lot then. Carmella thanks Speedy with a kiss and that sends him rocketing into the sky. (Pfft, men.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Here Today, Gone Tamale

“Shut up your cheese trap!”

Directed by Friz Freleng.  Released in 1959.

At the Mexican docks, all the mice are having a hard time surviving. There’s no cheese and they are starving. (Gee, that’s a shame. Considering, that mice can eat just about everything that is edible.) It’s gotten so bad, that they are even dreaming about the stuff. But wait! It’s not a dream! An honest to goodness, boat full of cheese is docking. The run up happily and run back down scared. There’s a one Sylvester the cat on board guarding it all. It’s hopeless. One mouse prepares to do himself in. (It works as a joke, because of his companion’s blatant lack of respect for him.)

Well, hold that trigger, compadre! Speedy Gonzales has agreed to help out with the situation. Sylvester is shocked to see the mouse is fast enough to run right by and back. He actually gets Speedy in a net, but is dragged around the ship. Speedy also locks him in a room full of Limburger. Good thing there was a coat hanger in there, or he would have died. Then in a surprising move, Sylvester agrees to share with the mice. (And he actually refers to Speedy by name. I’m pretty sure that never happened again.) Actually, he’s hiding a hammer behind his back. Speedy is too fast though, and Sylvester mallets his hand.

He sets up a guillotine for Speedy, but the mouse enters another way. The cat chases him under the blade. (He forgot all about it.) Blocking the main way onto the ship just leaves a pipe that leads to his mouth. Speedy drags him around again, this time in a rather painful looking way. He eventually rips right through Sylvester’s tail. Having saved the mice, they all have a grand time dancing. Sylvester reckons that since he couldn’t beat them, he should join them, and he does that whilst wearing a big pair of mouse ears. The mice are nice enough to accept him. (Or maybe they don’t but the short ends here anyway.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Mexicali Shmoes

“I’m too young to go kaboom!”

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1959

Another Academy Nominee! (It lost to a short called “Moonbird.” Nothing should have ever lost to that short.)

Our story begins with two cats. The slightly chubby one is Jose, and the lanky one is Manuel. Speedy runs by pretty much just to taunt them, and Manuel pounces. Speedy naturally, escapes. Jose tells him there’s no point to chasing him, you need brains. Manuel is lacking in that department, but it’s fine. Jose has enough for both of them, and they set out to get some supper. Arriving at Speedy’s place, they invite him out to join their fiesta. Speedy does so, and easily outmaneuvers them when they start trying to take a whack at him. He hides on Manuel and Jose crushes his compadre while missing the mouse.

Plan B. Trying something that he saw “That gringo Bugs Bunny” do in a moving picture, Jose baits a fishing pole with cheese. (I’ve seen every Bugs short at least once, and I don’t recall that. Liar.) Speedy takes the bait, and drags Jose to L.A. Much later, he returns telling Manuel that his sister said hello. (Manuel: “Hello, sister.”) They stuff some dynamite in the hole and wait for the explosion. Speedy sneaks behind them and blows up a bag. They rush off, where Jose shows his true colors. He meant to eat Speedy all by himself. (I think this would have been better as the last gag, but whatever. It’s a good one) They tussle, but Jose wins. Peeking in, he sees they’ve been tricked. He goes back to Manuel to apologize… and tell him that Speedy is rightfully his. Manuel gets a face full of explosive.

They plant some land mines, but end up chasing Speedy through it. Jose is terrified, but Manuel apparently knows where they buried them all, (Under those dirt mounds?) and carries his pal to safety. (I guess I’m wrong. He stepped on one.) Getting out, he accidentally sets Jose down on one of them. Jose returns the favor. They give up. Manuel suggests they go after the slowest mouse in all Mexico, Slowpoke Rodriguez. Jose excitedly goes to the place and grabs the pokey rodent. Manuel tries to tell him something else, but its too late. Slowpoke may be slow, but he’s not defenseless. He packs a gun. And he uses it too.

Personal Rating: 3

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Tortilla Flaps

“What for you steal my supper for?”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1958

Some sort of fiesta is going on in Mexico. (One kids seems to fly away on a balloon.) Even the mice are having a good time, setting up some sort of carnival. One of the highlights is watching Speedy play against himself in ping-pong. Up in the sky however, there are hungry eyes watching. It’s a bird known as Senor Vulchurro… I’m sorry, Vulturo. (Am I the only one who really wants another Viva Pinata game?) He comes down for lunch, causing the mice to scatter. He very nearly catches one, but Speedy beats him to it and leaves a fire cracker for the bird instead. (Despite his name, he doesn’t look like a vulture. More like a crow. A green crow. Maybe he’s a jackdaw?)

He naturally gives chase. Speedy leads him onto some train tracks where he is flattened by a train. And then a handcart. Speedy tells him that he is too fast to catch, but offers to lead the bird to a fat mouse that is sure to be a treat. (High calorie things usually are.) The bird follows as Speedy leads him to a mouse hole. The bird crashes his head above the entrance and cracks his skull. Opting for using his brains instead of wings, the bird sets up a ball and cup game, (Do those even have a proper name?) where the ball has been dunked in nitroglycerin.

It seems that Speedy would have fallen for it, had the bird not left his leg in sight. Speedy plays along and learns that this game is from his very own Lupe. (Seeing as this is Speedy, he wonders which Lupe sent it.) He begins to toss it over the cup to himself and back. Vulturo gets fed up and tries to show him how you’re supposed to play. Speedy grabs the ball and asks if the bird gives up and he refuses. Speedy drops the ball and the bird accepts. As his punishment, he must take place in some of the carnival games. And I do mean take place. One side has mice throwing balls at his head, and the other has them throwing darts at his butt.

Personal Rating: 3

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Tabasco Road

“Hola gato! You wanna fight?”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1957.

This short is another nominee for best animated short. It lost to “Birds Anonymous” (At least that’s a good short to lose to.)

At night in Mexico (maybe City or maybe some other place, I don’t know) the mice are having a great time at the cantina. They’re celebrating Speedy. (Is it his birthday? The fact they depend on him for survival? It’s not important.) Two mice known as Pablo and Fernando are already muy loaded on the Tequila, but ignore Speedy’s warnings and continue to drink up. At 3:00 A.M. the place clears out. Those two aren’t dead despite all the alcohol they have no doubt consumed, and tipsily head home. (I agree with them. They make a fine “trio.”) Speedy is well aware that they are in trouble and sets off to find them.

They meanwhile have attracted the attention of an alley gato. (“I think I saw un pussy gato.” “You did! You did see un pussy gato!”) Drunk as they are, they don’t recognize the danger and instead put up their dukes. The cat prepares for a feast, but Speedy arrives in the nick of time and saves Pablo; putting him in a sardine can for safekeeping. When he goes back for Fernando, he only finds his sombrero. He assumes the worst, but finds him in the can also. (Drunken mice have teleporting powers.) Speedy runs Ferny home telling Pablo to stay put. Once he gets his friend home, he rushes back for the other one. Unaware that Fernando climbed out of his window and is still stumbling about.

The gato meanwhile has found Pablo and puts him in his mouth. (Grey nose.) Speedy has seen all this and runs over. The cat screams, we hear a snap and then he kind of explodes. Ummm… what? Speedy apologizes for his… well speed, and does the whole gag again in slow motion. We see that he hammers the cat’s foot causing him to scream. Speedy grabs Pablo and sets him down on a set mousetrap. He quickly gets him off and puts him in a glass bottle, then he lights a firecracker and puts that in the cats mouth. Bad luck though, the bottle was broken and Pablo got out. Fernando meanwhile finds his way into the cats mouth himself. Speedy redoes the fast gag again and this sends the gato running for the “Ceety Leemits.”

The two drunkards are safe now, right? That’s how a Disney short would end. To Speedy’s surprise, the two have found an alley full of dozens of gatos, challenging them to a fight.

Personal Rating: 4