Category: Hippety Hopper

A baby kangaroo. He sure looks a heck of a lot like a giant mouse, though.

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Hoppy Daze

“No mouse is no match for no cat.”

https://youtu.be/VrK5K9rKwKk

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, Warren Batchelder, Tom Ray, and George Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Bob Singer; Effects Animation by Harry Love; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Milt Franklyn. A Looney Tune released on February 11, 1961.

Age happens to the best of us. (The worst of us too. It don’t discriminate.) Sadly, this leaves one with the inevitable fact that there will be one day where you just will simply not be able to do the things you enjoy. Even basic things like getting sustenance. Such is the fate of a cat I’ve decided to call Moe. He just can’t catch mice like he used to. (Also, he stole Spike’s clothes.)

Spying an equally hungry Sylvester gives Moe an idea, offer to train him as a “champeen” mouser. Sylvester likes the idea and agrees to that, and the fact that he’ll get 20% of the mice. This… seems kind of out of character for him. Sure, he’s gullible, but I’d think his ego would be big enough to think he already was a “champeen.” If anything, I’d think he’d be more likely to just try and prove that the little cat’s tutoring would be useless. (Also, I can’t help but think this would’ve been a perfect opportunity to bring Dodsworth back.)

Sylvester enters a warehouse, and begins chasing a non-anthro mouse. (Which looks scary and out of place here.) It runs into a crate, and Sylvester opens ‘er up, failing to notice the label saying there’s a baby kangaroo inside. Look at that, a giant mouse. Kicks him out, too. Moe doesn’t believe the giant mouse story, and reminds Sylvester that they’re small creatures. Filled with resolve, Sylvester enters again. He is thrown out. Again.

After entering the third time, Sylvester finds Hippety is copying the cat. Without hesitating, Sylvester realizes that he can use this fact to his advantage, and a game of follow the leader commences. Once Hippety is back in his crate, Sylvester slips some TNT in with the marsupial. Hippety sends it back, along with the other five that was in with him. (What the? If he needs to be put down, can’t you find a more humane way?)

Time for an actual tip. (Brought to you by Moe, the cat whose hands change color briefly.) He tells Sylvester to keep his left up. Sounds like a good idea, so Sylvester tries it. (And he tries talking without moving his lips. He gets about six words in before he cracks.) Since Hippety is out of the crate again, he can bounce away from the pugnacious putty-tat. Sylvester tries the bouncing trick himself with some old bed springs. Then, well this happens:

He tricks Syvlester into jumping off the top of a pile of crates. He lands on a barrel of gunpowder. The springs get stuck, and Sylvester in launched up to the ceiling. The springs pull the barrel up, and launch Sylvester out of the warehouse, and into a nearby incinerator smokestack. Seeing the launch, Moe follows and the resulting explosion sends Sylvester’s left right into Moe’s mug. He’s mighty impressed with his pupil. (Oh, by the way, could you tell that Moe talked like Jimmy Durante? No? Then allow Hippety to end with another impression.)

Favorite part: The little clap Hippety gives is adorable. He really thinks Sylvester is here to play with him.

Personal Rating: 2. For the out of character, and missed opportunity.

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Cats Aweigh

“There goes a brave pussycat!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Phil DeLara, Charles McKimson, Herman Cohen, and Rod Scribner; Layouts by Robert Givens; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on November 28, 1953.

Sylvester doesn’t mind being an alley cat. He can go where he likes, do as he pleases, and it really makes one appreciate your meals. His son, on the other paw, is not pleased. He wants a home! Where humans will feed him, pet him, and possibly find him cute. The main reason Sylvester is against all that, is the work that it will entail. “Meowing” for food? How civilized.

While at a wharf and searching for breakfast, Junior sees a wanted sign for cats to catch mice on a ship. It’s close enough to his wish for him! And if his dad needs help, he’ll help him! Sylvester thinks that maybe, this could work out after all. He agrees and they get the jobs. Or job, rather. Sylvester sees this as a an opportunity to take a cruise.

When Junior calls him out on his slothful behavior, Sylvester makes a deal: since his son is small, he can catch small mice. Since Sylvester is large, he’ll catch any big mice. You know, should any happen to be around. Poor little guy. He can’t bear to refuse his old man, so he resumes his chase into the cargo hold. The mouse he was chasing has hidden in a baby kangaroo’s crate.

Junior has a neat “Jurassic Park” moment with the marsupial, a good 47 years earlier than the novel. He runs to his dad, telling of the giant mouse, and per their arrangement, his job of capturing it. Sylvester humors the little guy, but finds he is telling the truth. Still, he tries to honor the deal, and sets about trying to fight the beast. It goes about as well as the previous 5 cartoons they’ve been in.

Sylvester makes a new deal with his kid: see, it’s unfair for a child to do more work than the parent, so, since there is only one big mouse, and plenty of small ones, Sylvester suggests they trade. (Geeze, Sylvester is a horrible parent.) But since Junior is such a good son, he agrees to his father’s demands once more and prepares to fight. Junior is quite quick to realize that this is all a game to Hippety, and what’s more, he’s copying all of the cat’s actions. With this knowledge, Junior is able to get him back into his crate quite easily.

Sylvester went back to his reading, because I guess he figured this would keep Junior out of his fur. But once Junior reminds him of their deal, he actually honors the deal! (He is a good father after all!) He follows a mouse back into the hold, and tells his son to not open the door. No matter what he says. The mouse (Who has a shock of red hair on his head. Huh.) hides in a crate of vitamins. And they work wonders! (Must be from ACME.)

With the upper paw, the mouse begins to pummel Sylvester, all while the cat calls desperately for Junior to let him out. Unlike how this gag usually goes, I think Junior is quite aware that his dad is in real peril. But he’s earned the right to benefit from this, and honors his father’s last request.

Favorite Part: The fact that Sylvester didn’t try weaseling out of the deal again. He’s not happy, but it takes very little provoking to get him to do his job this time.

Personal Rating: 3

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Hop, Look and Listen

“I never thought just being a pussthycat could get stho complicated.”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3dx3ip

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Charles McKimson, Manny Gould, and I. Ellis; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc. A Looney Tune released on April 17, 1948.

At the zoo, most of the animals are sleeping. The only one who isn’t is the kangaroo joey. Seeing as how all children think sleep is boring, he hops out of his mother’s pouch, out of the cage they share, out of the zoo they live in, and begins looking around. If you haven’t guessed yet, this kangaroo is Hippety. Making his film debut.

His exploration leads him to Sylvester’s house. The cat is doing some fishing. Er, I think you can call it that if you aren’t going after fish. His method is baiting hooks with cheese, and throwing it into a mouse-hole. He manages to get a bite, and he reels it in, but the poor little thing is just that: little. Not worthy of being of meal. He is spared today, but Sylvester still laments the lack of larger mice.

Hippety enters and gets himself in walls. (I’m honestly surprised that he can fit back there.) He gives Sylvester’s line a tug, and the cat ends up pulling out the marsupial, meeting him for the first time. He measures his catch. Yep. That’s what we in the business like to call a “bigg’un.” He runs from the house, screaming. In the yard, he blabbers to the bulldog about what he has just witnessed. The pooch isn’t pleased to hear this, and sends the cat back in to face what he fears.

Sylvester tries catching the joey in a bag. He manages to cover Hippety, but still ends up going for a wild ride. He is thrown out again. The dog, believes he is doing what is best for the cat, and sends him back in. (At least arming him with an axe as well.) Sylvester still fails, but starts thinking. If this really is a mouse, (which is definitely is. I mean, mice are well known for being at least three feet tall.) then that means, as a cat, he should be able to win. Time for a montage!

It’s brief, but it’s a montage. Sylvester does some exercises to get himself in fighting shape. Maybe he didn’t train enough. Maybe cats just can’t stand up to the awesome power of Osphranter rufus. Whatever the reason, he is thrown out once more. Looks like Hippety’s fun will end though, as his mother has come to claim him. Just then, the dog enters to take on the mouse himself. He freaks out upon seeing a “mouse” that is even larger than Sylvester saw, with two heads to boot!

He packs his things, takes Sylvester with him, and leaves. As he puts it, when you see mice that size, it’s time to get on the water wagon. (Which they literally do. Beats walking.)

Favorite Part: The final time Hippety throws Sylvester out. The background artists actually took the time to be consistent, and draw the windows from the previous throw-outs, still broken. That’s pride in your craft, it is.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Slap-Hoppy Mouse

“You and I are going mouse hunting.”

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x595s7y

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Tedd Pierce; Animation by Ted Bonnicksen, George Grandpre, Keith Darling, and Russ Dyson; Layouts by Robert Gribbroek; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Film Editor: Treg Brown; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on September 1, 1956.

Wouldn’t it be great to be a pet? (Assuming you don’t have a neglectful owner of course) You could sleep all day, eat without using hands, be adored constantly, and just when the monotony starts getting to you, you die thanks to your shorter lifespan. (Certain animals withstanding. I’d hate to be a tortoise) It’s a nice life. An easy life. And that is bothering Sylvester’s son.

In this picture, the two live in a mansion. Sylvester Sr. is quite content with the way things are going, but Jr. isn’t enjoying himself. (If my nose turned black for a brief second, I might be a little grumpy. Unless I could do it at will. That would be sweet.)  Mostly because of the other cats in the area that we don’t get to see. But according to Junior, they don’t think so highly of the his father. Seems he’s soft. Weak. A has-been. That’s all it takes. Sylvester promises to show the lad the art of the hunt, and prove that he still is a great mouser.

Donning some dapper caps, the two make their way to the best kind of habitat to find a mouse in: a derelict dump of a building. That’s right next to some railroad tracks. Why is that important? Well, a circus train passes by and a crate that isn’t secured at all tumbles off and ends up in the basement. Out of the rubble comes Hippety Hopper. (You like the inconsistencies? This little guy has one in this short. One of his eyelids is white at one point. Can you find it?)

Sylvester, meanwhile, has found an actual mouse, and prepares to strike. The main problem with hunting in these crummy old places, is that the loose boards can send you down to the basement. Creepy things live in basements. Like gargantuan mice! Sylvester runs back upstairs in a panic. Junior believes his dad’s claims as the suspected mouse followed him up. Sylvester is all set to run, but his boy reminds him that cats shouldn’t fear mice. (Sweet and all, but the fact that I shouldn’t fear fish doesn’t help me any.)

The hunt begins, and Sylvester is pummeled. It’s not long before he is grabbing some firepower to aid him. Unfortunately, he can’t seem get the right order of powder, shots and wadding in the gun, and he is constantly fired up to the higher floors. (The smaller mouse from earlier even comes back to the pull the trigger once.) Ultimately, Sylvester puts some glue down to catch his target. All the joey has to do is give him a light tap to foil this plot. (He even gets some buck teeth for a moment. Nice bit of zoological accuracy) With his father out of commission, Junior has to cut the floor out from under him, and carry him home.

Favorite part: After Sylvester calls himself “broken down” at one point, Junior instead claims that he is “a real, cool cat.” Really, it’s funny the way he says it. Even his dad doesn’t quite know how to respond.

Personal Rating:3

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Hippety Hopper

“A mouse as big as me!”

Directed by Robert McKimson; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Pete Burness, John Carey, Charles McKimson, and Phil DeLara; Layouts by Cornett Wood; Backgrounds by Richard H. Thomas; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released in 1949.

I just love how many shorts titles were just a characters name. It wasn’t even their first appearance when it happened. Anyway, a mouse is about to commit suicide. Since it’s not being treated as a joke, it’s not funny. Luckily for him, he is saved. Hippety may be young, but he knows that ending yourself is never the answer. The mouse (Who needs a name. I’ll call him Mini. Mini the mouse. Completely original) asks his new friend (who he thinks is a giant mouse)  to help him get even with the one who caused his depression in the first place. Sylvester the cat. Hippety agrees. Mini wakes Sylvester up and threatens to take vitamins and grow to match his size. Sylvester laughs at this, but soon sees the joey and freaks out. Mini kind of ruins things by coming back to say he warned him. (I guess mice just fluctuate in size? Is that what rats really are?) Whatever. Sylvester tries to fight off the “mouse” anyway and it goes about as well as you’d expect. A bulldog witnesses this and refuses to let Sylvester be treated as such. If the dog has a job of protecting the house, the cat has to do his job of mousing. Sylvester is thrown back in. He tackles Hippety and goes for a bumpy ride before once again ending up outside. He tries to explain that a giant mouse is doing this to him. The dog sends him back with some glasses to prove he’s seeing things. Besides, no one hits a guy with glasses on. Oh wait, Australians have no qualms about such things. (Or at least babies don’t) The dog finally decides to take care of things himself. He sees Sylvester wasn’t kidding, but refuses to let a “mouse” kick him out. Hippety tries, but the dog has some great upper body strength and doesn’t budge. It takes a bite from Mini to get him to lose his footing and become kick-able. Mini threatens to pin his ears back if he comes back in. Despite what just happened, the dog calls his bluff and says he’ll take ballet up the day a mouse pins his ears back. And then he ends up with pinned ears. He does keep his word, but the jerk is so insecure that he forces Sylvester to do it with him. The two dance off into the distance.

Personal Rating: 3

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Tweety’s High-flying Adventure

Directed byKarl Torege, Charles Visser, James T. Walker, Kyung Won Lim

“Humph! Mr. Popular.”

In case you haven’t noticed, all of the shorts I’ve talked about recently had cats in them. Looney tunes are chock full of them. And so is this direct to video movie. It’s not spectacular, but I still find it enjoyable. So let’s get started.

It’s October 2nd, (I dunno, 2000 I guess) and Granny is living in London for some reason. She has two pets, namely Sylvester and Tweety. She is also a member of the Looney Club, which is located right next door to a children’s park that is going to close soon. Inside the club we see…COLONEL RIMFIRE? Wow! One of the last characters created for Looney Tunes. He doesn’t get roles anymore. Score one point for this film. He is busy ranting about the fact that he never caught his nemesis: Cool Cat. (Not that abomination created by Derek Savage. This character actually has earned his title) He takes a little solace in the fact that he was bested by a creature that was smarter than him. Not just Cool Cat, but all cats. He believes cats are the smartest creatures on the planet. (I disagree) Lucky for me, Granny is on my side, and when Rimfire says he’d bet his savings on his claim, she takes him up on it, hoping to use the winnings to restore the park. She claims that her canary can not only go around the globe in 80 days, (which would be until December 21, (I’m still going with 2000,) but also collect 80 different paw prints. It’s a big challenge, but Tweety’ll do anything for Granny. (Is it just me, or does that calendar have a picture of one of the hunters from “Horton hatches the egg” on it?) So he is given a passport to get stamped to prove he visited the locations. This gathers the attention of a shifty looking character in the crowd. It’s the Shropshire Slasher from the short “Deduce you say”. He eyes Tweety’s passport with great interest. The things might be rare soon. One’s been stolen apparently. Sylvester meanwhile plans on following the canary to make sure he and only he can have him for lunch. Outfitted with a tracking device, Tweety heads for his first stop in France. Not too long after, a wind blows him off course into the alps. Lodged into the side of a mountain, he asks a nearby climber for help. Said climber is actually Daffy, who is sore about the fact this is not his movie and refuses to help. An avalanche happens but the two are saved by snowboarder Bugs Bunny. It is now October 12, and Sylvester has been waiting in France this whole time. The script says that Tweety should have come here, could it be wrong? Nope. Here he comes now, being chased by Penelope Pussycat. She crashes into Sylvester’s table and gets a white stripe down her back. (hint hint) but that does not deter her from her purrrr-suit (weak I know.) of the bird. Not if Sylvester has anything to say about it. While they chase, Tweety get’s his passport stamped by Pepe. He then points out something he thinks he’ll like. Two skunks fighting over him. (It’s not really explained how Sylvester got a stripe as well) With those two occupied, Tweety collects Penelope’s print and flies off for Italy. Would you like to bet on whether or not Tweety will make it? Because his progress is being charted by Foghorn, Prissy, Henry, and Egghead Jr. And they’re accepting all bets. They believe he can do it. (Birds are encouraging like that) In Venice, Tweety stops at Pasquelles. The same restaurant Charlie Dog tried to make home in “A hound for trouble” He’s still there, playing waiter. Tweety orders a plate of birdseed with marinara sauce. As all Americans know, Italian food is good eating, so it’s no wonder that Tweety leaves the place plump as a turkey. He can’t even fly anymore, so he hitches a ride on a gondola. But flightless, plump, juicy, succulent birds are vulnerable. Surprise! The owner of it is a cat, and there are more up ahead on a bridge. Tweety uses his new physique to bowl over them. He gets their prints, and a stamp for Venice. (Turns out his fat was just gas. If only I had that problem) Tweety’s trip has garnered more attention, and he is even mentioned by Lola on the news. (She’s part of the cast now. So you might as well quit complaining about her.) Tweety makes it to Egypt and gets his passport stamped by a camel. (Who I think is Humpty Bumpty in a fez, but I can’t be sure.) Worn out, Tweety goes to sleep. But Sylvester must have gotten away form Pepe, (Please tell me he convinced him of his gender before it was too late.) And is back for more. After a scuffle, Tweety hides in the Sphinx. Granny wasn’t kidding about his smarts. He knows how to read Hieroglyphics. Turns out, the place has a terrible fate for anyone who tries to head down a certain hall. Since Sylvester isn’t aware, he gets attacked by mummified cats. (People really did that you know) They punch him hard enough to make a hole in the place for Tweety to escape from. He collects their prints and is on his way once more. Landing in Africa (in the jungle of crayon drawn trees) he encounters the Mynah Bird. Since that guy doesn’t talk, Tweety follows him hoping he’ll lead him to his next stamp. But he doesn’t look where he’s going and wanders into a lion’s mouth. (At least he found the stamp in there) He leaves the mouth of the beast, (which looks more like a dog dressed as a lion to me) but almost immediately runs into Pete Puma. (Why’s he here?) The two corner Tweety in a tree. (No relation to the short “Tree cornered Tweety”) Luckily for him, the Mynah comes back and saves him by flinging the predators away. With that done, Tweety heads to Tibet. He gets to a souvenir shop where Gossamar gives him another stamp. (Why not?) Tweety also catches sight of some monk cats lead by Claude. (He may look different, but the voice is a dead giveaway.) They are about to sacrifice a canary (who has hair) to their god. Tweety comes to the rescue in a snowball (picking up Hugo the abominable snowman along the way) and bowls over them. He looks just like their god and he demands that they release the bird, and knock off the canary sacrifices. Even though they agree, Tweety is a jerk and still sics Hugo on them. (But he does get their prints as well) He is joined by the other bird named Aooga. (No really.) After getting a stamp at China, the two are blown off course all the way to Mexico. At least that gives them a stamp for there. (Courtesy of Speedy) Since they are down there, they stop by Rio as well. Rocky and Muggsy are hiding out there, but they still give them a stamp. And in Argentina they get another one form (Spike? Marc Antony? Just a bulldog?) With the south taken care of, they fly back to Japan. (Seems the Slasher is still on the loose) Afterwards they decide to take a boat to their next destination. Sylvester has remembered he’s in this movie and prepares to dig in. But he’s caught by a ship hand and thrown in the galley to catch mice. The mice in question are Hubie and Bertie who are living a good life with all the cheese they can eat. Sylvester gives chase, but they use a bucket of soapy water to send him sliding off the ship. Even though he clasps on to the side, Tweety sadistically pries him off, sending him into the shark infested (badly animated water below) But he does throw him a life saver. (The things he does for Warner Bros.) The three drift to Australia. There, the passport is stamped by Hippety Hopper. (Why does he have a pouch?) And of course Sylvester thinks he’s a giant mouse. But this is also the home of the Tasmanian Devil who shows up and plans to eat some cat. Sylvester saves his hide, by encouraging him to team up so they can both get canary. They chase after the birds on a bike, (Taz really seems to be enjoying himself) but the birds make their getaway with a convenient hang glider. Sylvester leaps onto it, leaving Taz alone in the air. (He holds out Wile E. holding out a “mother” sign) The birds fly off leaving the cat stuck on the glider, but he bumps into a wind surfer. (Is that the flying fish from “The sour puss” on his sail?) The birds land atop it and ride to their next stop, San Francisco. With the putty tat still on their tails, the birds ride a skateboard through no color ville to escape. Sylvester hops aboard a trolley driven by Sam and shoves him out of the way. But he doesn’t really know how to work it, and ends up breaking the brake. (Which is sorta like winding the wind, or tearing a tear) With the vehicle out of control the two end up on Alcatraz much to Sam’s anger. The birds head off to Vegas, with Sylvester following on a train. (With an angry Sam chasing him the whole trip. He has great endurance.) Once there, Sylvester manages to get Sam taken away on another train, but loses the birds in Chalk Vegas. They are hiding in a casino which just so happens to be full of cats. They are all betting against Tweety. If they were to be spotted, they would probably chased down. Sylvester exposes their hiding spot and they are chased down. One cat catches Aoogah and I think Tweety shoves a pole up his butt. (What else could he have done?) Sylvester meanwhile has caused another cat to hit the jackpot. (Pussyfoot is with her, are they related? Also the kitten makes itself comfortable on Sylvester’s head. Adorable) The two head off again. (The Slasher also is outside. Is that other guy naked?) The two birds head off across the country collecting prints along the way. They eventually make it to New York. (It’s full of Looney Tune advertisments.) They stop for a hot dog at a cart that is by a strange looking man in a trench coat. Tweety asks a weird question to Aoogah. What kind of hot dog would she be? (what.) Sylvester is the vendor and plans to eat. During the scuffle, mustard is squirted all over the strange man, exposing him as Marvin. This gives the birds a chance to get to the airport. Tweety is sad that the fun is almost over, and decides for one more challenge, he’ll fly back to London on his own. He leaves his ticket with the stewardess and they head out. Sylvester meanwhile makes a pretty poor excuse for a poster that is framing Tweety as stealing the Passport. Good thing he showed it to a poor excuse for a cop who believes it. While this does not get him anywhere, he does get Tweety’s ticket. Guess he’ll meet them in London. The birds meanwhile have flown into a hurricane. Not only does it remove Tweety’s tracker, making the world believe he’s gone, (Now all they have left to enjoy is a man in a barrel. I’m not joking) but it separates the duo. And Aooga had the passport! Tweety feels sorry for himself, since it seems like he’s not going to win like he always does. He hears Aooga’s call and lands on an island in the eye of the storm. (Home of the worst CGI trees I’ve ever seen) Turns out the passport floats and after getting swarmed by some random cats. (Strange, but hey more prints) They fly off to London once more. Arriving in a pub, they are grabbed by the Slasher. Turns out he was behind the passport theft all along. (surprise surprise) He collects the things. He stuffs it in his pocket, and Tweety probably would have been lost if he was alone. But Aoogah snatches it back. The pollice arrive and the Slahser is forced to take off. Sylvester is with them, still clutching his poster. (I’m not surprised these guys believed it. They probably think all American posters are shoddily made.) Tweety has the passport and is presumed guilty. Sylvester takes it as Tweety is arrested and happily jumps in glee. But what’s this? There are two passports? And Tweety’s checks out. Leaving Sylvester holding the stolen one. Turns out the slasher stuck them in the same pocket he keeps his fish and chips in, and they got stuck together. (Gross. What was on those?) Sylvester won’t be a bother to them now, but Tweety is sad. According to the subtitle, it’s the 22nd. He’s late. But Aoogah points out that they crossed a time zone and actually it is the 21st! The subtitle was wrong! (ummm. The sun rises in the east. So if it’s really the 21st in London, wouldn’t it be the 20th in America?) They rush to the club. Rimfire points out that there’s only 79 prints. Tweety never managed to get Sylvester’s. Taking it back, he rushes to the police wagon and gets the last print! Rimfire reluctantly admits defeat. (And it turns out one of the other members was Cool Cat all along. And he knew Tweety would succeed. Only someone who is truly cool will admit he’s not the smartest.) For finding the missing passport, Tweety is knighted. (Not too absurd. There are King penguins) Sylvester however is off to prison.

Personal Rating: Looney-tics should have fun seeing how many characters are crammed in here. For them, 3. For the rest…3. (Only because I don’t have a 3.5 rating)

Holy Flucking Sheet! This is the second time today I’ve had to type this up! For no apparent reason, it didn’t save. This new squarespace sucks whale balls! I hope you appreciate this post readers. I do it all for you.

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action! (Part 5)

Back at Acme, Mr. Chariman is gloating over the success of getting the phone. Damian still believes that D.J. will foil his plans. Mr. Chairman has the Peter Lorre scientist keep using a machine that makes Damien hit himself. Looking at the map photo, they see that Daffy got himself in the shot, making it useless. They decide to go face our heroes and bring their most dangerous operative: The Tasmanian Devil. (When the Vice President of “Never Learning” points out that he’s kinda dumb, Taz is allowed to eat him.)

In Africa, our heroes are making slow progress when who should appear? No not Inki. (That would’ve been an awesome but probably problematic cameo.) It’s Granny, Sylvester, and Tweety on an geographically incorrect elephant. (Yes, I know why they’re not using the African variety.) They offer them a ride. Bugs points out how they came at just the right time, and Granny and Sylvester share a evil look. Could THEY be Acme agents? The group take a safari and end up at the temple. Granny bids them farewell. (Phew. I guess they were all right.)

When they enter, Daffy sets off a booby trap by taking a small monkey-like object off a pedestal. Kate figures out that it’s a puzzle piece and quickly puts it into its spot. It reveals the path to the Blue Monkey as well as the gem itself. D.J. accidentally turns himself into a Capuchin monkey and Daffy tries to make off with the gem, but Bugs convinces him to change D.J. back. Then Granny and Co. show up and demand the diamond. Oh No! They were evil! Except not really. These were disguises! Granny and Sylvester reveal themselves to be Mr. Chairman and Bob. Tweety is Taz and he farts. (*sigh* I hate this part. Warner Bros. never had to reduce themselves to such immature humor in their heyday. If not for this blemish, the film would have been perfect.)

Mr. Chairman also reveals that he is really Damien! No wait, he’s Michael Jordan! No wait, he’s really MR. CHAIRMAN! (Funny.) Bob takes out a device that transports them all to Acme. Bob then reveals to Taz that he is really the Tasmanian She Devil. (Yeah, Taz was kind of wasted in this movie. Shame) At Acme, the transporting caused everyone to get spliced with one another. While we laugh, Mr. Chairman fixes everything, and finally gets the TV to work right. He shows that if D.J. does not give up the diamond, Damien will die by a train, exploding dynamite and an anvil. (But not the pendulum of doom. That’s overkill.) Wile E. overseeing all of this.

D.J. stupidly relents and Mr. Chairman does not release Damian. (Did you really expect him to?) He calls Marvin and tells him to go into space with the diamond. Marvin takes off and Daffy runs after him taking another ship that was being worked on by an Instant Martian. (I didn’t know they could talk.) To his dismay, Bugs is along for the ride. Back on the Earth, Mr. Chairman tells his prisoners that the gem will loaded onto a satellite that will turn everyone on earth into monkeys. (You gotta have really dedicated henchmen to go along with this.) Well not everyone. Mr. Chairman is going to be in a safe room with Mary as company. Told you she’d come back. (She doesn’t look too thrilled with her fate.)

Bugs and Daffy try get rid of Marvin by tricking him into rolling down his window so they can ask for directions. He is sucked out into space. (Daffy: Well whatya know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you 5 bucks.”) But Marvin is not gone yet, he’s clinging to the underside of their ship. They arrive at the satellite and Daffy volunteers Bugs to go get the diamond out of the other ship. Meanwhile, D.J. and Kate have been tied up and left hanging by a rope near Damian. D.J. easily breaks free before realizing that there was a reason it was so easy to escape. Releasing themselves also releases an Acme robo-dog. (He kinda looks like Chester.)

Bugs runs into Marvin again, and takes on his bubble gun with his carrot light saber. Daffy is cowering and wondering what to do? What would Duck Dodgers do? Realizing he IS Duck Dodgers, Daffy grabs a jetpack that blows up before he can say his name. (It happens four more times.) D.J. and Kate are barely able to escape the dog by hooking his collar onto a hook. D.J. just barely rescues his dad, and Wile (who was piloting the train) blows up with the dynamite. In space again, Marvin traps Bugs in one of the bubbles, and the satellite is about ready to fire!

Daffy gets caught between two of the pylons and his beak detaches again. Using his skills he has learned from this happening all the time over his career, he throws his bill, (ignoring the fact there’s no gravity,) and it lands on the laser, blocking it. The laser begins to backfire. Bugs escapes and dispatches Marvin with his own gun and the satellite begins to explode. Only two shots of the laser escape Daffy’s bill. One flies off into space never to be seen again. The other flies down to Earth and hits Mr. Chairman who was checking to see if everyone was monkeys yet. (Yeah, how was he supposed to know? Were the simians going to tell him?)

Daffy saves Bugs from floating away and they return to the ship. The others find a sobbing Mary with the monkey Chairman. (I guess she really did love him.) He is arrested and Damian and D.J. hug. They quickly leave when they see the rocket coming towards them, and in the chaos, Mr. Chairmonkey runs away. (Perfect for a sequel methinks!) Daffy and D.J. congratulate each other on each proving how awesome they are. Kate admits that she likes D.J. and Bugs congratulates Daffy on finally getting to be the hero. Daffy gloats that Bugs never got him into is movie when the entire building gets taken away.

Yes, this whole story WAS the movie and Daffy was not aware of it. (Ma bear  returns to bring Bugs a towel. Cute that she still has feeling for him.) D.J. punches out Brenden Fraser, (Laugh) and Bugs admits that Daffy and him should be equal from now on. (While he is being given a cavalcade of carrots by cameo characters including: Charlie Dog, Heathcliff the cat from “Dough Ray Me-ow”, the squirrel from “Much Ado about Nutting”, Marc Antony and Pussyfoot, Egghead, Mr. Gruesome Gorilla, and Hippety Hopper.) Daffy barely avoids a falling stage light, and comments that his luck is already improving. He is then crushed by the Looney Tunes rings. My man Porky comes out to say his famous closing line but his stutter is worse than usual, and everyone in the cast leaves. Porky: “Go home, folks.” Not until I’ve seen the credits!

We get a rockin’ song matched with some animation. (Some of which I’m guessing is from deleted scenes.) At the end of all this, we get a post-credits joke. Daffy is running form Nasty Canasta and Cottontail Smith in the casino and pulls a slot machine. It stops on three cherries. The thugs happily hold out their hats, but the cherries are really bombs and they blow up!

What a great movie! My favorite film of all time.

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Bah, Humduck! (A Looney Tunes Christmas)

“What do I look like, an ATM?”

Merry Christmas to all who visit my humble blog! With Christmas nearby, it is time to talk about this direct to DVD movie.

It starts with our narrator, Bugs Bunny. He declares that even though rabbits are associated with Easter, he still loves Christmas. (Besides, remember the last Easter we saw Bugs? That’d sour anyone’s mood.) He is nearly hit by a limo. The owner of said limo? Daffy Duck. Owner of the Luckyduck Superstore. He has an awesome hover scooter, and not one speck of generosity. He refuses to help a poor, homeless, (Playboy) penguin, and steals the generosity bucket of carolers Egghead Jr., Henrey Hawk, Barnyard Dawg as a puppy for some reason, (?) and Priscilla Pig. (more on this cutie, later.)

Daffy has many employees working at his store. Including Sam Sheepdog, Miss Prissy, Charlie Dog, the Three Bears, a security guard (Gossamar) who is sitting on Santa (Cecil) Turtle’s lap, Foghorn Leghorn, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Claude Cat, Hubie and Bertie, Mac and Tosh, Beaky Buzzard, Hippitey Hopper, and  a (Pete) Puma janitor. (Just like his role in “Tiny Toon Aventures”!) He also has some employees with a bit more personality. Including Elmer Fudd, who works very hard, and is exhausted. Wile E. Coyote, who is constantly hungry, Marvin the Martian who is homesick and wishes to return home for the holidays, (Martian Christmas?) Speedy Gonazales who does wrapping, Pepe Le Pew, who tries to get to know a shopper who looks just like a skunk, (No really. Penelope just has a stripe.) and my man, Porky Pig, his assisstant manager. Whom Daffy shortly demotes to assisstant-assissant manager.

Bugs warns him that greedy people tend to get visited by Christmas ghosts. Daffy has no worry and heads to his office. There, he is visited by his idol, Sylvester the (Cat) Investor. He was the greediest person around, before he was murdered. Daffy now has that title, and is being warned that he must change his ways. He may be spooked, but Daffy is sure this is a prank, and pays it little heed.

After being visited by Bugs again, (He was searching for cheap skates, and was directed up here.) he gets a passage delivered by a Roadrunner. (I have no idea if he is an employee or not.) It is a gift Daffy sent to himself, a godly remote that can do just about anything for his office. His employees then come asking for favors, but are all snubbed. Porky just wants to have Christmas off so he can spend time with his daughter, Priscilla. (Now let me just say, that she is ADORABLE! Tara Strong really knows how to bring in a cuter than cute performance.)  Daffy refuses and demands that everyone come in at 5:00 AM the next day. (Where else are the last minute Kwanzaa shoppers supposed to go?) Everyone leaves discouraged.

Bugs is still there with Daffy as the exits are covered in snow. Daffy demands they separate and soon after, is visited by the ghost of Christmas past. Or rather ghosts. Granny and Tweety take Daffy back to his past, and we see how hard his childhood was. He lived at an orphanage, and was never adopted. Morons. Why wouldn’t you want to adopt the world’s funniest duck? (I said FUNNIEST, not most popular. And for that matter where is that swan? She took him in only to leave him behind?) This does little to change his ways and Daffy just wants to use their powers “Back to the Future 2” style to get more money. He is sent back to the store.

The ghost of Christmas present is played by… Yosemite Sam? I think you could have chosen a better character for that. Maybe switch with Sylvester? Anyways, he shows Daffy how hard his employees lives really are. Another adorable scene shows, that Priscilla wants two things for Christmas, a doll, and for her daddy to spend it with her. (Too. Cute.  Daffy is not convinced quite yet, and just begs Bugs to hide him from the promised third ghost, once he returns.

They reenact “Tom Turk and Daffy” but ultimately Daffy is taken away by the ghost of Christmas future, the Tasmanian Devil. He sees his grave, and learns that his employees are out of jobs, because he tried to will the store to himself. Porky remarks that at least he and Priscilla can spend Christmas together. (I meant she with Porky! She didn’t die yet, sickos!) Being an angel anyway, she leaves some cookies on Daffy’s resting place, (which look hilarious, since they look like him) and wishes him luck, since she knows he’s not in heaven. (*Laughing* Best joke right there!)

Daffy finally resolves to change his ways and the next morning, gives everyone a paid vacation, as well as a rocket home for Marvin, and a personal chef for Wile. (Francois from “French Rarebit”) Even Pepe gets a kiss from Penelope. (Her choice even! She wasn’t bribed!) Daffy sees how much his generosity is going to cost him, and briefly tries to take it all back. That’s when Priscilla offers him a hilarious looking cookie, and calls him “Uncle”. (I wish she’d do that to me.) Daffy remains generous to the delight of Bugs and the ghosts. We end with Priscilla saying our “That’s all Folks!” (Did i mention how adorable she is?)

Overall this short, is nothing grand, but if you are a Looney Tunes fan, you’ll enjoy it.

Personal Rating: 2 for the common folk, 3 for the Looney-tics.

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The Bugs Bunny Show

“On with the show, this is it!”

During the sixties, “Looney Tunes” was on its last legs. Also during this time, Looney Tunes got its TV show. (Why not? It was the latest fad!) The premise was simple: Bugs showing us cartoons with various bridging sequences in between, such as Bugs feeding Taz carrots or Slowpoke coming to visit Speedy. The show was black and white which may have been odd today since all the shorts in the theaters were color, but color TV was only starting to get started. Lack of pigment  was a small price to pay for the convenience of watching animated masterpieces in your own living room.

Now for the bad news. This show is gone and you’re not liable to find any full episodes. (At least, as I’m originally writing this.) If you ever have seen, or have any somehow, you are quite lucky. Maybe you’d like to make the rest of the world feel as lucky as you?

Personal Rating: (From what little I’ve seen) 3

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Space Jam

“You guys are nuts.”

“Correction, we’re Looney Tunes”

I love this movie, but then again, I am a Looney Tunes fanboy. It’s sad most of the world seems to hate it. I think that is bull crap. This is a masterpiece if ever there was one. At least it did great at the box office.

The history is that people made commercials with Bugs and Michael Jordan advertising basketball shoes. So they figured making a movie was a good idea. (I think it was.) Our plot is that a theme park in outer space, (it is not specified which planet, but I think the whole park is its own planet) sucks. (How can people say that? Didn’t you ever want to ride an Astro-orbiter wannabe that shoots at you? Oh yeah, me neither) The owner decides they need new attractions and figures that the Looney Tunes are just the thing. I’d come.

However, Bugs tricks them into thinking they need to give the toons a chance to defend themselves. Since the aliens are short and have tiny limbs, basketball seems like a shoe in. However the aliens have the ability to steal the ability from five NBA players. Luckily, Jordan was retired at this time. So they don’t nab him. The toons get him for their side and we get the greatest game in all history!

This also introduced us to Lola. She did not have much of a personality in this movie, save for being someone for Bugs to be attracted to. Seems she was popular though, as she appeared in “Baby Looney Tunes”, “Tweety’s High Flying Adventure”, and “The Looney Tunes Show.”

Bottom line if you hate this you have no taste and at the very least you have to watch it once. (There must be more who love this, I know it!) “Tune” in next time where I will name all the Looney Tunes who appear in the film as well as some interesting facts. Woo hoo hoo hoo! Woo hoo!

Personal Rating: 3. (Unless you’re one of those people who can’t stand anything Looney that came out after the Golden age. For you, it’s a 2.)