She was an Acrobat’s Daughter

“Why Daddy? Why did the man look at her like that, Daddy? Why Daddy? Did he like her Daddy? Did he like the lady?”

At the theater there are 15 acts. The audience keeps switching seats as soon as one is available and things start with a newsreel. Dole Promise tells us that the U.S. has built an ocean liner so long it barely has to move to reach across the Atlantic. The audience meanwhile, is annoyed by that one theater-goer who moves through the aisles and is fat. In this case he is an actual hippo.

Next the news tells us of a town, whose inhabitants all act like dogs. The hippo comes back just in time for the shorts namesake singalong! After the song, the feature presentation plays. (After the MGM lion crows like a rooster.) It is “The Petrified Florist”. During the show, a Donkey tries to sell some munchies to the patrons and is thrown out. The main character of the onscreen film tries to regale some poetry to a waitress but muddles it up.

Another typical theater goer we all know, (the kid who won’t shut up) is a duckling constantly asking his father numerous questions. The other patrons growl at him, and hit his father who tries to defend him. The youngster runs from his angry smacking father and comes across the projection room. He begins to play with the machine, speeding the film up and reversing it. He panics and tries to fix his mistake only to get pulled into the machine and tangled in the film.

Personal Rating: 3

Daffy Duck in Hollywood

“Wow! I’ll give ’em a real feature!”

At Wonder Pictures studio, a character named I.M. Stupendous asks a director named Van Hamburger to finish his picture today. He also tells Daffy that they have no need for him. Hilarity is about to go down. Daffy whistles through the microphone, attaches a fire hose to the lights and puts bullets in the cameras. The best part is during a scene where two lovers attempt to kiss, and Daffy jumps in the middle to kiss the lady. (He then does it again, he loved it so much.)

For the finale, Daffy goes into the film library and splices up together many different films. (Yes, decades before there was a YouTube, Daffy made the first YouTube poop.) He then switches his film with Hamburgers. The movie is crazy, weird, and nonsensical, but Stupendous can’t stop praising it. In the final scene, Daffy is now the director and Hamburger is playing the role of Daffy.

Personal Rating: 3

I Love to Singa

“That’s mein… Pop!”

In the forest there lives a bird named Prof. Fritz the owl. He is a teacher of voice, piano, and violin, but the one thing he will not teach and can not tolerate is jazz. At the moment, he is awaiting the birth of his children. When the eggs hatch, one can sing, one can fiddle, and one can play the flute. (I guess it’s true what they say: you can’t fit a piano in an egg.) The last one hatches into our protagonist, Owl Jolson. (Get the reference?) One thing I don’t get is why his voice starts out different, and then changes right away.

His parents are not happy with his life choice, and try to force him to submit to the power of classical music. However, he refuses to give up jazz and his father pretty much disowns him. On his own, he sees many other birds auditioning for Jack Bunny. (A joke will never get old.) The rabbit thinks all of the birds suck, and lets them know with his trapdoor. Jolson’s music is just to his liking though, and he gets first prize ready.

His family hears him on the radio and rushes over. Seeing them, the young owlet switches back to classical, like he’s been conditioned to. The rabbit, no longer enjoying himself, is about to give him the door, when his father bursts in and tells him he can sing whatever he wants. The whole family joins in and Jolson gets his trophy. A happy ending for all!

Personal Rating: 4

Hollywood Steps Out

“50 dollars!?”

It’s a cartoon caricaturing famous Hollywood stars! (And they look rather creepy, I might add. Good thing the impressions are spot on!) Carry Grant buys some cigarettes from Greta Garbo and she uses her shoe to light it. Panning to the right we see a Leon Scheslinger cameo as well as a table set for Blondie and Dagwood, and a fire hydrant for Daisy. (Odd choice.)

Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, and Geore Raft pitch pennies and Harpo Marx gives Garbo a hot foot. Bing Crosby introduces our musical act as Stokowski composes. Boris Karloff dances stiffly, the 3 stooges poke each other to the beat, and Olliver Hardy dances with 2 women at once. Sally Ran does a bubble dance (She even tosses the bubble up, but we don’t see any nudity, you pervs.) Peter Lorre comments on the beauty of the bubble, and Henry Fonda gets punished by his mother for watching.

The dance ends when Harpo pops the bubble. (Good thing she was wearing a barrel underneath.) This whole time, Clark Gable has been chasing a blonde. He catches her only to find out it was Groucho in drag.

Personal Rating: 3 (unless you are a real film buff who knows who the parodies are today, then it just might reach the 4 tier.)

Tortoise beats Hare

“I tell ya, it just don’t make sense.”

Sorry for the delay. Christmas came and with it, Looney Tunes. I have been watching a lot of new ones and now I am ready for more action!

This is an early Bugs Bunny cartoon, number 3 for him. It was also one of the few made by Tex Avery. (I just noticed, he directed Daffy, and Bugs’ first cartoons.) Back on topic, Bugs comes out and reads the title and credits. (Pronouncing them wrong) When he gets to the title, he freaks out and demands a race with the tortoise. Winner gets ten bucks.

When the race begins, Bugs is off and Cecil calls nine other turtles to help him cheat. Bugs is still running and passes one of them. Needless to say, he is dumbstruck. He leaves him behind, but no matter how fast he goes, he keeps finding a tortoise ahead of him. He tries leaving various debris in the path, and destroying a bridge, but when he comes to the end, Cecil is already there.

Bugs gives him the money and wonders if he was tricked. Cecil and the turtles (each holding a dollar) tell him its a possibility. (I should have talked about this one before the second one.)

Personal Rating: 4

The Heckling Hare

“Uh… flowers.”

Willoughby is out sniffing and, finding a hole, decides to dig for whatever reason. Bugs appears and the chase is on. After that, Bugs starts imitating his adversary’s faces and pretty soon, he gets Willoughby to copy him. He then clobbers him with a bat. Bugs dives into a lake and the chase briefly continues underwater.

After they get out, Bugs dives behind a tree while Willy reaches into the knot hole for him. Bugs puts a tomato in his paw and when he squishes it, he pines for the rabbit he “crushed.” Of course, once he realizes it was a trick he digs again only, to dig through a cliff! He manages not to fall but ends up walking off the cliff. Bugs is not remorseful but doesn’t watch his step and winds up falling too!

It’s too bad that Avery’s initial choice of ending; wherein the two would land safely, only to fall off another cliff was frowned upon. This would eventually lead to Avery leaving for MGM. It’s not like his work there could be considered bad cartoons (“King Sized Canary” is one of my favorite films, ever.) but it would have been great if Tex stayed. I’d really like to see how that reality would have panned out.

Personal Rating: 3, but it probably could have reached 4 if Avery had been allowed to end it how he wanted to.