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Hollywood Capers

“Beans is the name! One of the Boston Beans!”

We open in Hollywood. (Did that guy who ran in front of the car just disappear?) Beans wants to get in to the W.B. lot. Much like the later “You ought to be in Pictures” the guard won’t let him in, despite the cat’s awesome resume. This doesn’t deter Beans, as he uses a Olliver Hardy disguise to get in. (Unlike Porky’s disguise, Bean’s actually works.) He goes in and sees director Oliver Owl directing a film starring Kitty. Beans enjoys his time until he accidentally disrupts the film. Oliver throws him out.

Beans accidentally activates a robot Frankenstein’s monster. It eats the camera, chases Kitty, and gets hit by his own reflection. Beans tries to stop it by wrapping it up in a pipe. The monster is so strong that it doesn’t slow him down. Beans finally destroys the menace by pushing a fan into him and shredding him to bits.

Personal Rating: 2

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Beans

As we all know, when Disney started making cartoons popular and profitable, everyone wanted to join in. Alas, Warner Bros. did not have much luck creating a character to rival Mickey Mouse. Friz Freleng directed a short (“I Haven’t got a Hat”) that featured many characters. Surely one could become a star?

The character that the studio THOUGHT would be loved, was Beans. Aside from getting in predicaments, Beans didn’t really have much character. His name came from the fact that his “sidekick” was named Porky. Despite what I just said may sound like, I like Beans. One of his shorts (“A Cartoonists Nightmare”) is one of my favorite Looney Tunes ever. Beans never did become a well known star, but he did at least get to star in a few shorts before being forced into retirement.

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Daffy Duck in Hollywood

“Wow! I’ll give ’em a real feature!”

At Wonder Pictures studio, a character named I.M. Stupendous asks a director named Van Hamburger to finish his picture today. He also tells Daffy that they have no need for him. Hilarity is about to go down. Daffy whistles through the microphone, attaches a fire hose to the lights and puts bullets in the cameras. The best part is during a scene where two lovers attempt to kiss, and Daffy jumps in the middle to kiss the lady. (He then does it again, he loved it so much.)

For the finale, Daffy goes into the film library and splices up together many different films. (Yes, decades before there was a YouTube, Daffy made the first YouTube poop.) He then switches his film with Hamburgers. The movie is crazy, weird, and nonsensical, but Stupendous can’t stop praising it. In the final scene, Daffy is now the director and Hamburger is playing the role of Daffy.

Personal Rating: 3

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Duck! Rabbit, Duck!

“I’m a wed hot spowtsman aftew wild game.”

The final in the hunting trilogy and it does not fail to disappoint.

The first one took place in summer, then autumn, so logically it’s winter now. Daffy is burning all the duck season signs and sends Elmer off to get some wabbits. Bugs tells Elmer that he can’t be shot unless Elmer has a fricasseeing wabbit license. Daffy writes up the document. He just needs a little help spelling fricasseeing. Bugs helps. “F-r-i-c-a-s-s-e-e-i-n-g-d-u-c-k.” Daffy gets shot and reads the document and admits to being the goat. Elmer shoots him upon reading Bug’s goat season sign.

Daffy calls Bugs a dirty dog. Bugs declares him a dirty skunk and Elmer shoots him upon seeing the dirty skunk sign. Daffy can’t believe what a pigeon he’s being and Elmer shoots him upon sight of the corresponding sign. Daffy takes Elmer away to talk some sense in him and Bugs uses the time to build a snow rabbit. Realizing he should shoot wabbits, Elmer rushes out and obliterates the sculpture. Bugs appears in an angel outfit to complete the illusion. Daffy claims that if Bug’s is dead then he is a mongoose.

Another shot later, he tells Elmer to listen to him and not anymore signs. Bugs puts on a bill and Daffy tells Elmer to shoot the duck. *BANG* Daffy breaks down and Bugs disguises himself as a game warden. He tells Elmer it is really baseball season and sends him off after a baseball. Alone, he asks Daffy what season it REALLY is. Daffy tells him it is obviously duck season and gets shot by many hunters.

Personal Rating: 4

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Hillbilly Hare

“Ya’ll care to practice with me for th’ square dancin’ tomorrow?”

When you as many enemies as Bugs Bunny, you feel the need to take a vacation every once in a while. Bug’s is relaxing in the Ozarks where he angers a hillbilly known as Curt Martin. His family is in a feud with another called the Coys. So he declares war when Bugs notes that he is very coy. His gun takes to long to fire however, giving Bug’s an easy chance to tie a knot in his gun. Curt unties it just for it to fire in his face. This act was spied by his brother, Pumpkinhead who also decides to kill Bugs. He doesn’t fare much better as Bugs switches the gun around to face back at its owner.

The main gag of this short starts with Bugs disguising himself as a woman and asks the smitten men to practice square dancing with “her.” While dancing, Bugs switches places with the caller and directs the boys into hurting each other pretty bad. They are obviously aware of whats going on, (as evidenced by their faces) and yet they continue to obey. Is that one of the hillbilly commandments? (“Thou shall not wear shoes”, “Thou shall always hate some other family”,” Thou shall never disobey a square dance”?) Bugs makes them walk into a hay baler, a pig pen, and finally off a cliff.

Personal Rating: 4

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Rebel Rabbit

“Rabbits are perfectly harmless.”

Bugs finds a sign in the forest that says foxes are worth $50.00. A bear is $75.00. A rabbit is only 2 cents. This bothers Bugs, who goes to Washington D.C. to complain. ( I don’t really get it. Are these paid for killing animals who are pests? Or do you just get paid if you kill an animal? Pretty mean if you ask me.) The game commissioner tells Bugs the reason for this is because rabbits are harmless. (Even in real life that’s wrong. They have sharp teeth and claws.) Obviously, this guy had no idea who Bugs is, and he is going to pay for it.

To prove rabbits are worth more than they think, Bugs is going to make Earth hell. He starts small by breaking someone’s kneecap and painting stripes on the Washington Memorial, but quickly moves on to turning off Niagara falls, filling in the Grand Canyon and sawing Florida off of the country. A meeting is held where Foghorn is a man suit demands Bugs be caught. (He talks just like him. Bugs even says his “That’s a joke” line. The fact McKimson directed this proves this is not just a coincidence. And I like it.) Bugs is declared a threat, and he is now worth one million dollars. Unfortunately, he is also now in Alcatraz for his crimes to the world. Or at least the Western hemisphere.

Personal Rating: 3

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Hare Do

“I have more fun than people.”

For this round of hunting, Elmer has a “wabbit detector.” It picks up Bugs who gives clues to Elmer to where he is and leads him off of a cliff. Bugs runs and catches a cab saying that only early risers can catch him. Elmer the driver mentions that he got up at a quarter to five. (Yes, he actually got one on Bugs this time.) Bugs runs into a theater to hide.

He clambers over people to get a seat, repeats to get a carrot, repeats to go back to his seat, and repeats when Elmer chases him. Elmer clambers over the people and an old woman (Bugs) beats him for this repeated gag. When Elmer tries to fight back, he gets thrown out. Elmer comes back in, finding  a message on the screen that informs him that he is wanted at the front. When he goes to retrieve the message, Bugs throws a pie in his face.

The chase resumes and Bugs hides in the men’s room. After Elmer runs in Bugs switches the signs and calls the usher. Fudd is again thrown out. He comes in again, but gets caught in stampedes of people leaving the intermission to smoke and returning to the film afterwards. Bugs is the one changing the sign and his fun ends when Elmer escapes. He chases Bugs to another theater where Bugs plays usher and gets Fudd to sit down. Thanks to the sunglasses on, Fudd is unaware that Bugs places him on a unicycle that leads into a lion’s stomach. The lion gets lunch and Bugs gets applause. A happy ending for all.

Personal Rating: 3

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Wackiki Wabbit

“Ah! White man!”

Don’t let the title fool you. There is no Fudd in this short.

Our main characters are two castaways. Let’s call them Fatty and Slim. They must have been afloat for days because they are trying to eat one another without the other one noticing. That is until they spot an island. They arrive and explore their new locale. They spot Bugs and immediately declare him food. (It’s official. They’re gonna starve.) Bugs runs and they find him doing a tribal dance. He spouts some long gibberish which translates to “What’s up, Doc?” Then he says something short which is translated as a huge saying. Slim thanks him and his words get translated into Bug’s dialect. (“Did you say that?” Fatty asks.) Bugs dances and they join in allowing him to escape.

Consulting their book on the Sea Islands, (as opposed to the numerous land ones.) they learn that the natives dive into water to retrieve coins. (No, I don’t know where they got the book.) After they toss a coin into their cauldron of water, Bugs steals the whole thing. Luckily for them, he uses it as a bath and doesn’t notice what it’s intended for until he joins in their singing of “We’re gonna have roast rabbit!” He goes to his tree house and attaches a chicken to some strings. He freaks out the men by making it look like the chicken is scolding them. However the strings tangle causing the puppet to reveal Bugs. They pull on the strings bringing Bugs with it.

He runs and takes the chicken meat with him. The men break down and cry. Then to their luck, a boat arrives. They are so happy they fail to notice Bugs has switched places with them, until the boat vanishes over the horizon. They see each other as food before chasing each other into the hills. (Personally, my money’s on Slim) I’ve heard a rumor this short was based on a real experience of Jones where he was shipwrecked. Anyone know if that’s true?

Personal Rating: 3

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Acrobatty Bunny

“Iron bars do not a prison make. But they sure help, eh doc?”

Wow! a new record of people visiting? More than 10? You like me! You really like me!

The first Bugs Bunny short directed by Robert McKimson begins with the circus coming to town. All the noise disturbs Bugs who is sleeping underground. (For the record, elephants wouldn’t make that much sound.) A lion’s cage is put right over Bug’s rabbit hole. The lion investigates the hole, causing more distress for Bugs. Bugs goes up to see what the deal is.

The lion (dubbed Nero by Bugs) begins to chase the rabbit. Bugs leaves and renters the cage to confuse the feline who is now on the outside and locked out. Nero tries to use an elephant to break back in. Bugs unleashes a wind up mouse which sends the pachyderm into hysterics and uses the lion to bat at the mouse. Bugs dresses up as an operatic circus clown and urges Nero to laugh. No sooner does he, when Bugs smacks him with a mallet.

The chase continues into the big top and onto the trapeze. In the end, Bugs tricks Nero into climbing into a cannon just as Bugs lights the fuse. Dazed and confused, Nero is taken advantage of by Bugs who uses the lion as a new act. A hula dancing lion.

Personal Rating: 3

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Case of the Missing Hare

“Look Doc! Do I go around nailing signs over your house?”

So this cartoon begins with a magician nailing signs everywhere to advertise his show. (At least, I think so. He does it very subtly.) The magician’s name is Ala Bahma. He is in the middle of nailing a sign over a tree. Bugs burst out. Apparently he lives in a tree now. (I guess Ala nailing a sign over a hole in the ground would be a little TOO weird. Even for a cartoon.) Ala is a jerk and quickly nails a new one. When Bugs complains, Ala throws a “blacksberries” pie in his face and leaves laughing. Bugs is not amused.

Later at his show, Ala prepares for his first trick: pulling a rabbit out of a hat. Cue Bugs. He pulls himself out of the hat, and steals Ala’s applause. He tells Ala to tempt him with a carrot. Ala tries to do so, but Bugs hits him over the head with his hammer. Later, Ala nails his hat shut so Bugs can’t bother him any more. His next trick requires a young boy’s assistance. Bugs comes up (dressed up in a Pinocchio like get up,) and Ala explains the trick. Bugs will be in a basket and Ala will seemingly stick swords into him. While doing so, Bugs appears to squeal in pain in the basket. (One of the greatest Looney Tunes moments ever.)

Ala finds Bugs is the one handing him the swords, so Ala prepares to murder him and Bugs plays “red light green light” with him. To finish off, he gives him an exploding cigar. The magician is dazed and in a sense of poetic justice, Bugs hits him in the face with another “blacksberries” pie.

Personal Rating: 3