“I’m a civilian!”
Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1956.
Two posts in a day? It’s an October Miracle! (Or the idiot who runs this place didn’t plan ahead in advance very well, and realized he needed to have two in one.) Well anyways… At a location named “Fort Itude” (Which let’s be honest, is one of the best names of any place in history.) A tornado seems to leave. Taz was in the army? Nah, it’s just Ralph Phillips who is beyond happy to be “normal” again. His family welcome him back, but soon the excitement wears down and they settle back to their daily routine.
Ralph decides to go out for some fun. (Of course, not until after he’s had a few beers and smokes. The kid of “From A to Z-z-z-z”, people. ) He heads to the malt shop he used to go to, but nobody he used to hang with is there. They’ve been replaced with younger teens who make Ralph feel like an old man. But he has his address book! He calls up the girls he used to know. Which leads to an expected, but still hilarious joke: “Mommy? A man wants to talk to you.” He goes through them all; none of them are interested. If you weren’t there to engage them every day, you deserve to die alone.
As Ralph mopes in the park, a tiny little character shows up. This is Pete, the civilians friend. He’s here to tell Ralph the benefits of being out of the army. Another character shows up named Re-Pete. He looks cool, so naturally he is my new friend. Both begin trying to persuade Ralph to stay on/come back to their side. The army may pay less, but it gives so much more. There are over 400 jobs available, it can finance one’s education, give you a paid vacation, and if you play your cards right, you can retire at age 38. (Dang. Is that still possible? I’d look it up, but I don’t want to.) Pete is losing the battle and none of the ideas he’s pitching are working. (Like inventing dehydrated water and inheriting Fort Knox. Both of which I’ve already done multiple times.)
Ralph re-enlists. A nice short, but it seems to be saying that you can’t be happy unless you’re in the army. Say good-bye to free will kids. Your choice has been made.
Personal rating: 2