““Dumb Clucks,” are we?”
Supervision by Robert Clampett; Animation by Charles Jones and Bob Cannon; Musical Score by Carl W. Stalling. A Looney Tune released in 1938.
Porky owns a chicken farm and takes good care of his hens. Not only does he give them tasty corn to eat, but he even has some on the cob for dessert. But before they can enjoy that, some a-hole ducks take the cobs and enjoy them in the pond, where the chickens can’t get them. Porky (very politely I might add) asks the ducks to not do that, but instead the lead duck sends them a note declaring war. (Jerk. You started it.) The hens agree and begin making troops, (No, not recruiting. Making. Their eggs hatch ready for battle. If I didn’t already use the “inant-try” joke in “Porky’s Poor Fish” I sure would here.) and pecking out trenches. The ducks aren’t just big talkers though. They have the means to fight back, complete with their own navy and fighter jets. Piloted by cute naked ducklings with bandanas. (I don’t know why they are naked. Ducklings hatch fully feathered.) Setting up their sides (with no hen’s land in between) they begin their fight. The hens have one of their “men” sneak over, but she is caught by a duck who sounds like Yakky Doodle. (You thought he sounded like Donald? Please.) Her chicks underneath her, shoot him. The leader sounds a lot like Daffy. He laughs like Daffy too. But I refuse to accept him as Daffy. He’s too unlikable to be Daffy. I’m going to call him Douchebag. Douchebag duck. (Besides, where is the ring around his neck? Checkmate.) He disguises himself as the Easter Bunny to come deliver some eggs to Porky. But they are duck eggs, and the hatch-lings (who aren’t naked this time) rough him up before they retreat. (Cowards.) With night falling, the ducks lay down a smoke screen, (thanks to a cigar) and try to launch a sneak attack. The smoke rises just as they are about to pounce, and they begin dancing. The hens love it, and let their guards down, allowing the ducks to start beating them up. The ducks are really upping their game. They even have real tanks to use. They begin firing and almost get Porky. He seals the shell in his foxhole and decides to take matters into his own hands. Using a washing machine as a gun and the corn as ammo, he is able to shoot down the ducks wherever they are. Even Douchebag who tries to surprise him ends up trapped. Porky wins. (I never doubted him) To celebrate, he gives the hens the corn they were meant to have. But Douchebag has one more trick up his sleeve. More eggs. The new ducklings bring the corn back to their (father, I guess) and they happily munch. (Yeah, laugh now, you bass turds. You’re still trapped, and it just so happens that I love duck meat. Don’t be surprised that Douchebag Duck never made any other appearances.)
Personal Rating: 4