♪”You can’t fool us, we know that you’re a man.”♪
Animation by Isadore Freleng and Paul Smith; Music by Frank Marsales. A Merrie Melody released on November 28, 1931.
Piggy, Piggy, Piggy. What are we going to do with you? You’re almost as blatant a Mickey clone as Foxy. Losing the pants could help, but it’ll be a normal day in hell before we allow a pants-less pig to headline our cartoons. Look, we’ll give you one more chance. Just promise us three things? First, try not to rip off Disney anymore than you already do. Second, don’t utilize too much hurtful racial stereotyping. We’d hate to have to censor this short completely in the future. And lastly, don’t make men wince and clutch their genitals. That should be the easiest one. Do any of that, and you’re bologna.
Nothing could make a night more pleasant and relaxing that being on a riverboat. We call it the Steamboat Piggy, after the captain. There’s plenty of entertainment on board. They’re all animals, but they sound African American, so they don’t count as guests onboard. S’good music though. You hear it, and you’ll think you’ve died and gone to hallelujah land. We’re coming up on the closest landing, so if anyone is planning on joining us, you better he here or near. If we stop anywhere too long, the scent following that outhouse we’re pulling will catch up to us.
Fluffy is on her way, courtesy of Uncle Tom. He may not look to offensive, but if you get the reference, he kind of is. Doesn’t help that he’s not invited, isn’t paid, and can vanish from existance. But don’t let that ruin Fluffy’s trip. She is on a first base basis with the captain, so she gets to join him on the top deck. Watch him dance! Those musicians really know how to play! And raid Bosko’s wardrobe! But merriment melodies will have to cease as Fluffy has a premonition. In about half a second, Piggy is going to fall overboard.
Piggy falls overboard. He’s smacked a bit by the paddle-wheel, and lands in the river. At least there’s the most miserable excuse for an island nearby. It’s not called that because of the size, but because it’s not an island. It’s a crocodilian. Given the area, probably an alligator. Just one that was drawn more resembling a croc. Because why not suggest they all look the same? I didn’t think we were racist enough. Oh yeah, it doesn’t like being disturbed. It attacks the free pork dinner.
Piggy manages to get away in a pretty brilliant fashion. He hops aboard a log, attaches the leaves it had to his own tail, than pushes his belly button. Now his tail can make like a propeller and he gets away. Bumping into a rock flings him back up to Fluffy and allows him to finish his dance. Just like he never left. But you know, I feel bad for Uncle Tom. Why couldn’t he join us. He’s a good guy. I demand that we get to see what he’s doing at the moment. I also demand some Oreo’s. I’ll be right back.
Tom’s just on his way home. Since his donkey knows the way, he tries to sleep. Reason one why ungulates are better than cars. The problem is that its tail keeps flicking his face. He shouldn’t have to lean back, so he ties a rock to it. (Disappearing tail.) With more heft, it knocks him off the wagon and into the closest cemetery. These places always seem scarier at night, and that’s because that’s when the skeletons come out. I’d question why they want to hurt him, but they were clearly human, and he’s most certainly a dog. Best to keep him from chewing on their remains. Plus, they already have a dog skeleton here. The place only allows one pet.
The dancing skeletons advance, but didn’t foresee Tom trying to get away. And succeeding thanks to the missing section of the surrounding wall. If they only had muscles anymore, they might have, could have, fixed it. Tom takes the first boat lying on the path, and heads for the water. But he didn’t grab the bottom, so he ends up floundering. It’s a good thing that Piggy’s boat is slower than a glacier sloth. They’re still in ear shot, and Piggy valiant flings himself over the side to rescue the old dog.
That’s just what the random villain onboard has been waiting for this whole picture. Fluffy tries to fight back, but her punches are as soft as her name. As if Piggy hasn’t had enough rescues today. He dashes ahead to a pole with a hook and line on it. Probably supposed to be used for loading and unloading cargo. In this case, he hooks the fiend, and frees his lady from his clutches. The boat will just have to survive without them, because there it goes. So what should we do with this character? He’s not small enough to throw back.
Piggy has the most humane solution! Since they’re right by a saw mill, they lower him onto the spinning saw blade. Wow! Just wow. Wows all around. There’s really no other way to describe it! (It’s short for ‘what? ow!’)
Favorite Part: The tussle with the reptile was fun and frantic. Really sold it with all the splashing.
Personal Rating: Well, this is the eldest of the Censored Eleven, so I have to tread lightly. That’s how I’ve decided to say, I don’t think it’s as bad as the others. I don’t get to decide how bad it is, yes, but since they’re all animals, it just doesn’t offensive to me as hard as I should be hearing it.
What I can say, is it feels like two cartoons got smushed together. Stealing any setup the villain needed, slash taking time away from what could have been a Warner’s version of “Swing you Sinners.” If the music wasn’t so good, I wouldn’t be giving out a 2.