Back Alley Oproar

“Boy, am I Sweepy!”

A remake of an old cartoon called “Notes to You” (I should really talk about these cartoons in chronological order. I apologize for any confusion)

Elmer is tired. So tired in fact, that he leaps into his bed before the light goes out. Unfortunately, Sylvester has chosen his fence to sing for the night. Elmer throws many objects at him to shut up but the only one that manages to hit is a pair of shoes. Sylvester used these to stomp out the second Hungarian rhapsody but Elmer ties him up and covers his mouth. (Did those shoes just change color?)

Soon the putty tat is at it again and he greases Elmer’s steps and scatters tacks at the bottom. Elmer gets a golf club and slips and hurts his feet, then turns around and does it again to get his gun. Sylvester has his understudy come in to take his place, but Elmer pins him up against a wall with the gun anyway. He lures Fudd back to sleep with a lullaby and as soon as he is back in bed wakes him up again. Elmer has had enough and grabs some dynamite. But as soon as he lights the fuse, it blows up. In heaven, Elmer takes some solace that he should be able to get some sleep, but Sylvester was caught in the blast too, and now Elmer has to put up with his 9 (Or is it 19?) lives as well.

Personal Rating: 4

Porky In Wackyland

“Ex-tree! Ex-tree! Porky off on dodo hunt!”

This.. is my favorite cartoon ever! Heck, it’s my favorite bit of animation ever. Is it the humor? The sureality? The b/w charm? The fact that I consider it the epitome of cartoons? All that and whatever too! It’s great no matter how you slice, saute and butter it! And that’s why this site shares its name.

Like its successor this cartoon has Porky is off to find the last of the dodo birds. Its worth a lot of money. He arrives at the best place ever put to film: Wackyland! While searching, Porky sees many of the denizens that call this crazy landscape home. Or at least a condo. (Look! Bob Clampett and his animators created Catdog)

Amidst the bizarre, he finds the bird of his dreams. And the chase is on. The bird is tricky, and Porky has to disguise himself to get his hands on him. He succeeds in his capture but the dodo reveals something about himself. He may be the last of his species but that doesn’t mean he’s the only one left… (That’s a victory for Mother Earth, at least.)

Personal Rating: 5 (And I really feel that way too.)

The Great Piggy Bank Robbery

“Fantastic! And furthermore, its unbelieva…ble!”

Daffy waits for his mail to the tune of “Powerhouse.” (and he even says “Thufferin Thuccotash” one of two times I can recall) his patience is rewarded with a new Dick Tracy comic book. He eagerly pours over each exciting panel and wishes he could be the man he admires. He accidentally knocks himself out and imagines that scenario.

Duck Twacy (Daffy) is getting numerous phone calls about missing piggy banks. He dismisses it as small stuff until he realizes his was stolen too. He immediately gets to the gangsters hideout (Porky cameo, yay!) and is met by the worst of the worst including: Mouseman, Pumpkinhead, Pussycat Puss, Batman, 88 Teeth, Neon Noodle, Double Header, and Wolfman. the chase is on! (Hey look! There’s an original Tracy villain: Flattop!)

Daffy makes pies out of Pumpkinhead and is tackled by most of the others. His body parts squirm out and he murders them with a Tommy-gun. Neon Noodle tries to get him, but hes turned into an “Eat at Joe’s sign”. Daffy finds the stolen goods and kisses the bank that’s his. He then wakes up to find himself kissing a sow.

Personal Rating: 5

Old Glory

“You don’t know why you should learn the pledge of allegiance to the flag?”

For Porky’s first color cartoon, (Yes his debut was in color. But he wasn’t the star) we find him struggling to learn the pledge to the flag. He can’t get the hang of it and he gives up. He takes a nap and Uncle Sam appears and begins to teach his subconsciousness about the history of America. From Paul Revere warning of the British, to the pioneers heading out west to find more land. (That already belonged to someone, but that part doesn’t paint the country in the best lights. Let’s omit it.)

After the history lesson Porky awakens and is able to recite the pledge form memory. (Owl eared listeners will notice he doesn’t say “under God” that part was not added yet.) This cartoon may not be as funny as its numerous siblings, but it’s enjoyable none the less. It reminds us how hard it was to be young and to understand. It also helps us remember to help others.

Personal Rating: 4 (If you can’t stand to see cartoons be serious, than it might not be for you. I stand by my rating, though)

Baby Bottleneck

“I do all the woik, and the fadders get all the credit.”

You didn’t think that I wouldn’t talk about Porky more after the last post did you? Also, I’d say sorry for no update on Tuesday, but next to no one comes here anyway so I’d only be apologizing to myself… On to the cartoon.

After World War 2,  people keep pumping out babies and it’s taking its toll on the stork. He quits and some inexperienced people try to make the deliveries themselves, but they make plenty of mistakes. Such as kittens to mice, gorillas to kangaroos and an alligator to a pig. (There is actually a censor that has never been restored. When the reptile tries to nurse at her teat, the sow originally said “Don’t touch that dial” If you don’t blink, you can see a brief frame of the line about to be said)

Replacing those idiots are Porky and Daffy. Daffy mans the phones and makes wisecracks to Cantor, about his lack of getting a boy and Mr. Dione for asking for a little too much. Porky is in charge of the assembly line which gets the babies ready for delivery. The only problem is one egg has no address. Porky asks Daffy to sit on it (Look how huge his hat got!) but Daffy refuses. A chase ensues which ultimately ends with the two running on the assembly line, getting dressed up like a baby, and shipped to Africa. Mother gorilla is in for quite the shock .

Personal Rating: 4

Kitty Kornered

“I hate p-p-p-p-p-pussy cats.”

About time I talked about the great and hilarious Porky again! Its nine o clock and everyone is putting their cat out. Porky has 4. A kitten, a midget cat, a drunk cat, and Sylvester. (Don’t let the yellow eyes and black nose fool you. It’s him. You can trust me) However, they have no intent on being outside and they toss Porky out in their stead.

They decide to party with cigars, wine, and chocolates when Porky re enters. He chases them, and at one point pulls Sylvester off a moose head and pulling out a full moose. Porky gets rid of them by using a shadow puppet of his dog and they flee. Sylvester comes up with a plan, and they don martian get ups to scare Porky out into the snow. The pig asks the audience if they know of any houses to rent.

Personal Rating: 4

Tweetie Pie

“Kiss the ittle birdie!”

This is it! this is THE cartoon. What is THE cartoon? This is the first Looney Tune that won an Oscar. (Ironicly “Tom and Jerry” had been winning tons of Oscars. Why? Are Tom and Jerry better than Looney Tunes? Fun fact: not always) Actually, in this cartoon Sylvester is called Thomas. Oh, and this is the canary and putty tat’s first time together, too.

It’s winter and Tweety is out warming himself by a cigar butt. Thomas (Sylvester) grabs him and almost immediately gets caught by his owner. She takes Tweety in and puts him in a cage, warning the cat to leave him alone. When she’s gone, Sylvester builds a stack of furniture that Tweety chops down. (The owner hits Sylvester with a broom) He builds one out of metal furniture and Tweety uses a blowtorch to destroy it. (Sylvester gets hit with the broom again)

At one point Sylvester has Tweety under a glass so Tweety can’t call for help. So the bird pokes Sylvester with a pin and the owner throws him out. After failing to get in through the fireplace, and a Rube Golberg device doesn’t work, he saws the area around the cage which brings the whole ceiling down. Sylvester throws the broom in the fire only to get hit by a shovel. Wielded by Tweety.

Personal Rating: 3

A Bear for Punishment

“I hate breakfast in bed!”

I know. I should have talked about a Mother’s day cartoon, but i couldn’t find one. Father’s day works fine. This cartoon was based on Chuck Jones and Michael Maltese’s fathers days they experienced. (That’s harsh)

One morning, Henry Bear wakes up to many alarm clocks. He learns that its fathers day and his family wants to treat him right. Junyer spills breakfast on him, and tries to shave him with a broken razor. He can’t even fill his dad’s pipe without an injury. (“g-u-n-p-o-w-d-e-r, deh, tobacco”)

Finally, they perform a show. Junyer recites a poem about how he loves his father, Ma does a dance, and as a finale they dress up Henry as the stature of liberty and launch fireworks. He is too shocked to protest. (And thus the 3 bears cartoons ended)

Personal Rating: 3

The Dover Boys at Pimento University or the rivals of roquefort hall

“Hark! The Dover Boys.”

I used to think this one was underrated and unknown by extension, but apparently I was (happily) mistaken. The title characters did appear in “Space Jam”, and “Wakkos Wish”. Dan’s hilarious outbursts make wonderful memes (Better than that “chungus” crap That scene was already funny. It didn’t need any help.)

At good old P.U. (Pimento University) the most popular boys are the Dover boys (based on the “Rover Boys” series of books) As we pan over to them, we see a sailor guy. Pay attention to him, we’ll see him again. The boys are going to play hide and seek with THEIR finance Dora Stanpipe. (I guess they are polygamous? I suppose if it’s good enough for them…)

On their way to the park they pass a bar where inside their nemesis Dan Backslide, lurks. He loves Dora…s father’s money and despises the Dover boys. He watches them (and the sailor) walk by, and seethes. During their game, the boys decide to hide in a place where they won’t be found… the bar!

Realizing that Dora is alone, Dan kidnaps her, but Dora (and the sailor) are spotted by the boys and they rush (freeze) to her rescue. While she screams for help, she pummels Dan and soon he is yelling for help too! The boys finally arrive, and only end up knocking themselves out, Dora leaves with the sailor.

P.S. the narrator in this short, is the same narrator who was with Goofy in those “How to” cartoons Disney made

Personal Rating: 4 (But don’t be too surprised if you don’t enjoy it as much as you should be on your first viewing. Like many a work of art, it takes time to be appreciated)

Guided Muscle

Acme Grease

Ahh, lunchtime. Today the coyote is stewing up a delicious can. Too bad he can’t bring himself to actually eat it. Especially when there is better game to hunt. Turning himself into an arrow works until he launches himself into a cactus and off a cliff. He sets up a slingshot attached to a red fuzzy cactus (?) but it does not launch until he does not want it to. He tries firing a cannon, but it shoots him back into a cliff wall before shooting himself in the head.

A wrecking ball just makes the tree it’s attached to fall on him, and when he greases the road, the Roadrunner just mocks him by skating. He thinks tarring and feathering would work, but did you know roadrunners are already feathered? Finally, he buries some dynamite but the bird causes him to run over it just as it detonates. Frustrated, he quits his cartoon job, and and pulls out the “That’s all, folks!” card.

Personal Rating: 3