Category: Bob Clampett

Without this man, who knows WHAT this website would have been called. These posts were directed by him.

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Patient Porky

“Ohhh, my poor b-be-b-be-b-be- tummy!””

Supervision by Robert Clampett; Story by Warren Foster; Animation by Norman McCabe; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1940.

This short is based on the book “The Pains Came.”

At a hospital, we see that the floors are organized by the alphabet, leading me to believe there are 26 floors. We get some hospital gags including a paging for “Sir Jury” and a list of the days births. Not all surprisingly, the rabbits are winning with a total of 490. Proto-Bugs makes a cameo to correct the number to 750. What’s interesting is this came out after Bugs made his fully fleshed out debut in “A Wild Hare.” (But then, I’m sure both were being worked on at roughly the same time.)

One ward is under the care of Dr. Chris Chun. (No relation to the amazingly charismatic Dr. Foolio.) He checks on his patients. Poor little Olley Owl has to shout that he can’t talk above a whisper, whilst another patient gets some good news: his bones are literally knitting. Herbie the hippo is in because he swallowed a piano. Cartoon or not, why would he do that? Is this a mental ward? That would explain Crazy Cat in the next bed. (Note: Crazy with a “C”, I don’t need to be sued.) He delights in playing said piano and annoying Herbie. It can’t be good for his digestive system either.

Porky enters the scene asking for a doctor. Chun must be on lunch or something because that mentally unstable cat leaps at the chance. Introducing himself as Dr. Chilled Air, he asks the pig what’s wrong. Seems Porky ate too much at a birthday party: 3/4 of a cake with the candles still lit! (Cool!) Making like a horror film, the cat puts him in a hospital gown and happily sings about his first patient. He wheels my pal into surgery and gleefully sharpens some knives. Porky is getting rightfully freaked out, especially when the phony physician starts aiming to saw him open without any anesthesia. Making a break for it, Porky runs for home.

Unfortunately, Crazy McCutlery, is right behind. But Porky has a plan. When the maniac corners him in his bed he finds a sign on Porky’s gut: “Do not open until Christmas.” This doesn’t hold him for long though, as he hops in bed with him intending to wait. (I swear cat, if anything bad happens to my buddy, I will submit you to horrors so psychologically scarring, that you will turn sane with fear! Oh wait. This short is over seventy years old and Porky is still alive. My mistake.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Hare Ribbin’

“Mama, Baby, Dad!”

You naughty bow-wow!

Directed by Robert Clampett; Story by Lou Lilly; Animation by Robert McKimson; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1944.

Besides the titular hare, this short stars a dog who looks like Willoughby with a haircut. He’s Russian because it’s a reference to a character on the “Eddie Cantor” radio program. While sniffing around for a rabbit, he rather abruptly runs into Bugs. Bugs claims to have not seen any rabbits, but this dog isn’t as dumb as Red Hot Ryder and gives chase shortly thereafter. He chases Bugs into a lake. And I’m not kidding, the rest of the short takes place underwater. I guess a friend of Clampett’s really had a fetish for characters being underwater and Clampett was too good of a friend to suggest he go get help.

Of course, being underwater makes for a perfect excuse to have Bugs dress up as a mermaid. So maybe that’s the whole reason it’s underwater. I don’t really care though. This is Clampett! I’ve accepted stranger things than this from him. The dog, who shall be called Vladimir,  (It’s my blog and I’ll be as uncreative as I want!) falls for the get up and hits on “her.” Agreeing to play games, they start up a round of tag. Bugs uses his tail-fin to slap the dog around. He removes his disguise, which wasn’t the best time since Vladimir immediately catches on and declares he is having a rabbit sandwich for dinner.

Happy to oblige, Bugs plays waiter. Unfortunately, they’re out of rabbit. (No rabbit in a lake? I’m shocked.) Masquerading as Fudd he tells the dog he’s going to get him a wabbit. Vladimir once more catches on sooner than most would against Bugs. He demands his sandwich and Bugs crawls between the (I guess waterproof) bread and lettuce. But he lets us know that he will be scrunched up. Vladimir doesn’t know this, takes a big chomp and feels guilty for killing Bugs. He cries and wishes for himself to be dead.

There’s two ways this scene plays out: Bugs gives the dog a gun and he shoots himself, and the director’s cut where Bugs shoots the dog himself. (I don’t like that. It seems too out of character for Bugs.) With the danger gone, Bugs leaves. Vladimir stops the iris out to deliver one more line before he goes: “This shouldn’t even happen to a dog!” (The same line would be spoken by another animated dog in his first appearance: “Courage the cowardly dog.” And he got a whole series! Poor Vladimir only got a cameo in “Back in Action” after this.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Farm Frolics

“♪There’s no place like home!♪”

Supervision by Robert Clampett. Released in 1941.

A beautiful farm is drawn in by a realistic hand. (That windmill doesn’t look finished, you fraud!) It’s time for some farm jokes! A horse has been trained very well. He trots when you say trot. He gallops when you say gallop. When you say canter, he imitates Eddie Cantor. (We’re still working on that one) The farmer’s dog may be old, but he is still dependable. He still fetches the paper every morning. (Gotta get his Dick Tracy fix) And we also see some piglets watching a clock. If you’re visiting this place for the first time, you should know that pigs are my favorite animal ever, and piglets are the cutest cutes that ever dared to cute. They’re the origin point of the word. It is odd that they choose to watch a clock, but I’m not going to spoil their fun.

A mother hen leaves her eggs. Not smart. They are being watched by a hungry weasel. He sneaks up to feast, when the chicks hatch and nearly give him a heart attack. In the nearby forest, there are lots more animals to have fun with. (You didn’t think we’d stay on the farm for all of our frolics did you?) There we see a field mouse with abnormally large ears, who keeps hearing things. Believe it or not, he has a name. His name is Rosebud. And even though he only appeared in one other short besides this one, we got some merchandise of him.

Let sleeping statues lie.

Even though they are small, even ants care for their young by calling them home. For the sake of not boring you, I will refrain from pointing out all the misleading ant facts that are shown here. Except for the ant butt crack. (What is up with that?) As we head back to the farm, we see the pigs still at the clock. They refuse to go play. I guess that clock is more entertaining than we will ever know.

A more bizarre sight is that of a cat and a mouse in a loving embrace. Apparently the cat loves that mouse and takes good care of him. This doesn’t stop the mouse from begging for help and trying to escape. The cat catches him and happily goes back to sleep. Before the day is over though, we stop by the piglets one more time. Seems they were watching the clock to know when it was their favorite time of day: Dinnertime. They happily run home to their mother’s teat and began suckling. (“Every day it’s the same thing.”)

Personal Rating: 3

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Crazy Cruise

“Monotonous, isn’t it?”

Supervision uncredited; begun by Fred Avery, completed by Robert Clampett; Story by Michael Maltese; Animation by Rod Scribner. Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1942.

You know, Clampett is still my favorite director, but I find more and more lately that I wish Avery never was fired. It would have been great if he had stayed on the Warner’s team the whole time. Who knows? Maybe he would have gone on to still create Droopy, Screwy Squirrel, and Red?

This short contains a bunch of spot gags that Avery had a real talent at. We see a tobacco plantation and take a peek at an animal that does untold amounts of damage to the plants: the tobacco bug. (Which looks more like a species of worm to me.) It talks like an auctioneer and spits. Our cruise then heads to Havana and Sloppy Joe’s bar for some refreshments. After getting “tanked up” we head for out next destination in the most direct route possible. (When you’re as drunk as that, spiraling IS the most direct you can be.)

During this time of war, our ships are camouflaged so well, that all you can see are the sailors, flags and smoke. After stopping by the Swiss Alps (Where our plane slides over the mountains.) and an oil derrick, (Where we have our second spitting tobacco joke.) we come to an African Jungle. We see a species of carnivorous plant: the Eatemus abuggus. Or as it’s known in English: the Carnivore Flower. It tries to make a meal out of the bee that flies into its “mouth”, but it is stung. A line of animals wait for a turn to drink at a water hole. (Wait, why is there a pronghorn in Africa?) You might be wondering why the elephant is being so patient, as in the wild they tend to use their size to bully their way in first. Why, it’s because a zebra mother is helping her young to take a drink from the fountain. Isn’t that precious? (What? You thought it was going to be a lake? You clearly are new to these shorts.)

Past Veronica Lake (which is shaped like Veronica Lake) is a land of giant cannibals. Two hunters and their racially insensitive guide are heading that way to try and capture some. (I think that freckled one is supposed to be a caricature of Friz Freleng.) Their guide (who only speaks in scat singing) is excited to show they were captured. (Was he a spy? Or is he happy because he escaped?) The cannibals are so giant, that the hunters are nothing but mere candy bars to them.

Next we see some baby rabbits. Awwwww! (My favorite one is the one whose back is turned to us.) But they have been spotted by a Japanese vulture. (Also depicted in an unflattering way, just because he’s from another country doesn’t make him any less of a bird.) The rabbits respond with an anti-aircraft gun. The one whose back was turned turns around and… Hey! That’s no baby bunny! It’s Bugs Bunny! Before the short ends, his ears make a victory V. (Sad to say, there are no victors in war. Only losers.)

Personal Rating: 3

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Buckaroo Bugs

“He wants to play cops and robbers, eh?”

That’s a cowboy, yessir he is!

Directed by Robert Clampett; Story by Lou Lilly; Animation by M. Gould; Voice Characterization by Mel Blanc; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1944. (By the way, I love how the short feels the need to inform us that this short stars Bugs. If the title wasn’t a dead enough giveaway, Bugs’ face shows up before the title card)

Wow. A short where Bugs is the straight up villain. We’ve seen him be a trickster before, but I think this might be the only time where he is the antagonist. What’s his crime? He’s stolen all the carrots out of people’s victory gardens. (The fiend!) Only one person can stop him! (No, not Cecil Turtle.) Brooklyn’s own cowboy: Red Hot Ryder. By the way, the narrator calls Bugs a rodent, but I will correct him as rabbits are not rodents! They are lagomorphs. And this had already been established by the 1940s, thank you.

Ryder is sad to say, not my favorite opponent for Bugs. He’s a little too dumb for my tastes. Why does that bother me? Well, why did anyone think he’d be a match for Bugs? What has he done to deserve such credit? Is everyone who knows him even dumber than him? Not to mention I’m just not much of a fan of really dumb characters. You gotta work really hard to make me enjoy them. Leni Loud is a good example. Appearance wise, Ryder looks like someone made a clone out of Yosemite Sam and Captain Ollimar. That’s not a complaint though, its just an observation.

His horse won’t stop for him, so he has to club it unconscious. He begins hunting for “The Masked Marauder.” Bugs is not fazed and decides to play along with him. Using a magnet, he robs Ryder of all his coins, bullets, sheriffs star and belt buckle causing his pants to fall down. I’m pretty sure those coins shouldn’t have been magnetic, but toon magnets don’t have to follow our world’s logic. (Lucky.) Only after Bugs leaves does Ryder catch on to his identity. He asks a stranger if he’s seen the bandit. (Bugs without his mask) Bugs asks if the guy is the one who not only wears a mask like his, but robs him like so! Well, this time he takes more. Including the pin of Red’s diaper, (Wait, wasn’t he wearing ladies underwear before? I don’t get the switch.) and all the filings of Red’s teeth. (Ooh! That looks painful!)

Red confirms that that is the guy. Too bad Bugs hasn’t seen him. But he has to excuse himself to rob a train. I think? He fakes the whole thing, but then he still has loot when he comes back. And it’s not just carrots this time, but tons of war time luxuries like meat, gas and a color changing can of pineapple. He gives Ryder phony directions to go after the Marauder and the little guy heads back to his horse. He hops on and the horse runs off. Ryder however just hopped on a fence post and is yet to discover he’s not moving. (Best part of the short is his horse coming back and angrily waiting for him to discover he’s not moving. He doesn’t catch on.)

The horse glues him to the saddle and they’re off! Bugs trips the two and then disguises himself as a telegram deliverer. He gives Ryder an insulting poem whose last line is censored. Ryder is too dumb to figure it out. And then they teleport back to where this started. I’m not joking! That’s totally the same background! Bug’s hole is there and everything! Bugs tells Ryder where the Marauder went which was apparently over steadily increasing-in-size gorges. The one the horse can’t make it over is the Grand Canyon, and the two plummet down. Ending up underground, Red finally deduces that Bugs and the Marauder were one and the same. Bugs confirms this and gives him a kiss.

All in all, I don’t hate this short. But I’m just not a fan of Red. If I had written it, he’d have had no publicity and just be some guy Bugs stole from and he was trying to get revenge. Clampett, I love ya, but this was my least favorite of your work.

Personal Rating: 3. I have to be fair. I don’t think people will dislike it for the reason I do.

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Bacall to Arms

“Anybody got a light?”

Care to help a fellow American who’s down on her luck?

Directed by Robert Clampett (uncredited); Animation by Manny Gould, Don Williams, Rod Scribner and I. Ellis; Layouts and Backgrounds by Thomas McKimson and Philip DeGuard; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. Released in 1946.

One of Clampett’s last shorts and it feels like his heart wasn’t really in it. Many scenes are reused from “She was an Acrobat’s Daughter,” including the crowd switching seats, the fat hippo, and the young goose annoying his father. A wolf is shown his seat by a female usher. (I swear that’s Porky sitting behind him.) He rushes off to flirt with her but is slapped. A news reel is shown that radar has a new purpose: alerting a family to the mother-in-law coming. The film then starts. A parody of the real picture “To have and have not” called “To have…To have…To have…” (etc.)

It stars parodies of the stars of the actual film, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall (to arms) played by thier Toontown counterparts: Bogey Gocart and Laurie Bee Cool. The rest of the cast’s names scroll on the screen. They’re not important. The movie itself says they are the “cast off characters.” The wolf (who shall hence forth be known as Winchell) starts to doze off. (After the cartoons, I would too) The Tex Avery hippo is told by Gocart to sit down and stop inconveniencing people as the film is starting.

When Laurie shows up on the screen, Winchell pays attention. She’s so hot, that she leaves little flame trails wherever she walks. As she kisses Gocart, the wolf is in heaven. (The whites of his eyes disappear at one point even.) Winchell continues to go nuts. Kissing the back of the head of the patron in front of him, whistling so hard someone’s wig flies off and jumping out of his clothes. (Apparently the audience left to go smoke at that point as the theater seems deserted.) When Laurie is finished with her cigarette, Winchell dives after it and takes a puff. Not amused, Gocart shoots the wolf and takes it for himself.

It blows up leaving him in blackface. (Yes, this part was cut for television.) He exclaims that he can work for Mr. Benny now. (It’s a little known fact that there were at least 12 Rochesters and that Gocart played the 3rd one)

Personal Rating: 3. There’s just barely enough new here to keep it a little interesting.

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Porky’s Poor Fish

“To arms! To arms! The cat!”

Directed by Robert Clampett. Released in 1940.

It starts by telling us this is an adaption of the story “20,000 leaks under the ceiling.” (I’d read that. Couldn’t be as boring as its source material.) We see a mouse happily skipping and whistling down the street. A hungry looking cat is close behind. He’s not really trying to be quiet or sneaky, so I’m not too surprised when the mouse makes a sudden turn and the cat ends up in mud. Stupid cat, mice are snake food.

Elsewhere, we see a pet fish shop run by my good friend Porky. (He owns the place, but it’s under new mis-management? I’ll just take that to mean that the fish are in charge of themselves.) Peeking in the window shows a fish that is somehow resting at the bottom of its bowl with its eyes closed. (Must be a new species. I’ve never seen a 14 karat gold fish.) Inside, Porky and the fish serenade us with a song about why they are good pets. And fish puns abound! There are A.C. and D.C. electric eels, (Which aren’t really eels. I know about fi… oh forget it.) a perch on a perch, a mackerel full of holes, and some soles tapping along to the music. There’s even a chorus line of legs dancing. This is what I’m talking about! Maybe I should buy me some of these sexy fish.

The curtain goes up revealing a disturbing octopus is the owner of all of them. (And I take back my comment. Sexy fish are one thing, but sexy mollusks are out of the question. You’d think I’d learn. This gag was used two years earlier in the short “Porky’s five and ten.”) After the song ends, it’s lunch time. Porky goes on his way and I wish I could join him. (That octopus won’t leave me alone now.) As he leaves, the cat from earlier walks by. He happily enters this all you can eat buffet. He reaches into a tank, causing an oyster that looks more like Cecil Turtle than a bivalve, to hide under it’s bed. (Clever pun.) The cat does get his mitts on a cute little fish who is powerless to resist. If only she was a piranha.

Good thing the eels saw the whole thing, and flash a message to the rest of the store. A turtle mounts a seahorse and warns of the danger, a tuna lays an infant-try, (That’s my joke. The tuna clucking is theirs. Chicken of the sea, you know) and a flying fish takes off like a plane. The cat is scared and backs into another tank that contains a hammerhead shark, who bonks him on the head. (Don’t question why you can buy it, purchase today!) One of the eels shocks the cat, and he flings the fish into the air. The flying fish grabs her. I’m really just guessing it’s a her. It has eyelashes, and since fish don’t usually have those, its probably the only way to tell its gender. At least the tuna laid eggs. …That were already fertilized… That’s not how it works!

The cat falls into a tank where he is punched by a mussel. (Another good joke.) I bet you didn’t know those creatures had Popeye’s arms.  The cat flies out of the shop just as Porky returns. Back in street, the cat is pleased to see that mouse from before. He rears to attack, but the mouse growls at him. The cat regresses into the kitten he was on the inside the whole time. Go back to milk, junior. Fish are big-cat food.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Sour Puss

“G-G-G-Guess what we’re gonna have for dinner t-t-tomorrow night?”

Directed by Robert Clampett. Released in 1940.

Before we begin, I’d like to say a few words before my words. I have mentioned the following before, but I don’t know how many people read my older posts, so I’ll reiterate here: I think suicide can be funny when it’s used as a joke in media. Now, in real life, suicide is never the answer. I’m not a psychiatrist or even really that good at being sensitive, so you probably shouldn’t take this opinion seriously, but to me, killing yourself proves you really don’t give a f*ck about the people in your life. They are the ones who really suffer in these situations. Forever wondering if it was their fault. If they could have helped. And since we have no proof of an afterlife, they don’t even have the guarantee they’ll see you again.

But in cartoons, it’s totally fine and often very funny. (To me.) Remember in “Rabbit Romeo” when Bugs forced a goldfish to kiss Millicent? It killed itself and that was funny. As long as you ensure that the situation the character is in isn’t too sad/serious, I’m not going to complain. I’m sorry for making you read all of this, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea when I laugh at the suicide that takes place in this short.

One night at Porky’s place, he is reading his paper and sees that fishing season will begin tomorrow. He excitedly gets decked in his angling gear. (Personally, I find fishing one of the most boring and yet barbaric wastes of time.) He lets his cat know of tomorrow’s dinner by imitating a fish. To most, that is simply a humorous picture, but to someone with icthiophobia, that is the stuff of nightmares. (NotthatIwouldknow.) The cat is so excited he bounces around the house. (Why does Porky have an empty fish bowl?) He even kisses a mouse. This action makes the canary of the house pull a gun on himself, since he’s now seen everything. (Fun-ny. And I’ll thank all of you who have suicidal thoughts to stop ruining comedy for me.)

They head to bed. Porky counts sheep, but his cat (who is sleeping in a drawer, because there’s no point wasting money on a bed for an animal that won’t even use it.) counts fish. When you have an obsession, it’s near impossible to sleep while thinking about it. No surprise, the cat hits 1,000,000 and is still awake. He takes something for insomnia: A hammer to the head. The next day, pig and cat each have cast lines. (The cat’s line tied to his tail.) A flying fish approaches. That’s not a freshwater fish, but am I really complaining about that, while the fish is literally flying? Yes. I just don’t want people to go to a lake and expect flying fish. I know about fish.

The cat takes a swipe and the fish is down. Not really. This fish is like if Daffy had gills and fins. He jumps around laughing hysterically and talking with a weird vibrating voice. (I like him. He’s silly.) Porky seems to get him on his hook, but the fish just does a yo-yo imitation. (Why not try fly fishing? I know about fish.) The fish sticks one of his pectoral fins out of the water to imitate a shark. Porky falls for it, and warns the cat. The cat is a moron and doesn’t know that sharks have been found in freshwater. (I know about fish.) He calls the fish’s bluff only to find it really is a shark. (I don’t really get how that happened.) The cat runs off into the distance much to the shark’s confusion. “Pussycats is the cwaiziest peoples.”

Personal Rating: 3

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An Itch in Time

♪”Oh there’s food around the corner, food around the corner, food around the corner for me, (hallelujah brother.) food arund the corner, food around the corner, food around the corner for meee!”♪

Directed by Bob Clampett

Sorry for lack of update last week. (To the two people who visit this place, I was just on a family trip.)

Been awhile since we had a good old screwy Clampett short, eh? In Elmer’s home, Fudd is happily reading Looney Tunes comics. His dog (Willoughby) at his feet. (Or at least a very similar looking dog) Also in this house is a flea. (which some signs point out for us) His name is A. Flea. (A for amusing?) He’s excited because he’s found himself a feast of the grandest proportions: Dog Butt. He hurries over, makes sure the dog is asleep and goes to work. (Singing a song, that I DARE you to get out of your head.)

He gets some salt, ketchup, mustard and bread and puts it around some dog dermis. A bite causes the dog to yelp in pain and try to get the flea, but he only ends up biting himself. Elmer pours flea powder on him, (which A. treats as snow) and warns him that if he scratches once more, its a bath! The dog swears to not scratch. Which is near impossible with A. mining his meat. Elmer is keeping a close eye on him, and Willoughby turns different colors trying to stay strong. He kicks the cat (which A. didn’t want for some reason) who scratches for him. A glare from Elmer makes them both shrink into little masses.

A. sets off some explosives and the dog can’t take it anymore and he scoots around on the floor. (“Hey, I better cut this out. I may get to like it.”) Elmer comes to make good word of his promise, but A. moves onto him. (For the record: fleas rarely bite people, and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t if there were two pets in the house.) Willoughby gleefully takes his master to the tub, and slips on a bar of soap landing them both in the water. A. puts them on a “blue plate special” and carries them off. (To eat I presume. If the cat wasn’t still there, I’d complain that parasites don’t try to kill their hosts as it destroys their home as well) Having seen all this, the Cat shoots himself.

This scene is of course censored today, because some people thought it’d be a bright idea to kill themselves. As such, everyone is too afraid to laugh at this. If you play it for laughs, (like here) it is FUNNY. I only care so much, because lets say you watch stuff like this all the time and make a suicide joke. Not aware that people’s sensibilities have changed, and now it makes you look like the evil one. Rant over.

Personal Rating: 4

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Falling Hare

“Hey, I bet that was… say, do you think that… hey, could thata been a… gremlin?”

Directed by Robert Clampett

Originally, this short was to be called “Bugs Bunny and the gremlin” but Disney told them to stop, as they were making a film called “The Gremlins” based on a book by the amazing Roald Dahl and they alone had the naming rights. That never happened. At least the gremlins would appear in Epic Mickey. What am I doing? As I was saying…

At a U.S. army air field, Bugs is reading atop a bomb. He laughs at the thought of gremlins and their “die-a-bull-icall sab-o-tay-gee.” The bomb he is on starts shaking and Bugs looks at the source. It’s a tiny creature trying to set off the bomb Bugs is on. Bugs suggests he give it a try and only stops at the last moment. Bugs realizes that was a gremlin and gives chase. The gremlin hits him over the head with a mallet and leads him onto one of the planes. While Bugs is searching for him, he starts the plane up. He taunts Bug’s from behind a door (with an unbelievably funny laugh) and Bugs charges time and time again to get at him.

The gremlin opens the door eventually and Bugs runs out of the plane. (Briefly becoming a jack@$$.) He hurries back to the plane and slips out the other door thanks to the banana peels the gremlin left for him. Bug’s manages to stay in the plane, but the gremlin is now trying to crash into some skyscrapers. Bugs narrowly avoids a collision but the plane is now in a nosedive. Bugs completely loses it while the gremlin couldn’t care less. (I guess he doesn’t mind dying. Or he’s invincible?) The plane gets up to “incredible ain’t it?” miles per hour and the wings burn off. Then, a few feet off the ground, the plane stops in midair. The two characters apologize for running out of gas. Dang A cards.

Personal Rating: 4