A Corny Concerto

“Gweetings, music wovers.”

Its a parody of “Fantasia” which is one of the finest films ever. So what would a Looney Tune based on it be? About 629,087,356.5 times better!  (Give or take.)

Our host is Elmer (as parody of Deems Taylor) and he lets us know the first segment will be “Tales from the Vienna woods” (All the while his dicky is giving him problems) It is a classic tale of a hunter going after Bugs. Since Elmer is on host duty, it’s none other than Porky who takes on the job. (One of the very few times Porky appeared on screen with Bugs.) Porky’s dog finds Bugs and learns that this will not be so easy.

Porky and the dog dive into a bush which Bugs is hiding in, and soon Bugs tosses their gun away. It lands in a tree infuriating a squirrel who takes aim and fires. The three hold their chests assuming the worst. Porky and the dog turn out to be fine, but when Bugs peeks at his supposed wound he passes out. Porky and the dog try to get his hands open to see the wound and instead find a BRA! Bugs screams, places the brassiere on the two’s heads, and dances into the sunset.

Elmer informs us that the next segment will be “The Blue Danube” (As his pants fall down now) It is a tale of the ugly duckling. This time however, it really is a duckling as opposed to a swan. A baby Daffy to be precise. (There you have it. Clampett also created “Baby Looney Tunes”) He wants to join a family of swans, but the mother refuses to have him around. The family is spotted by a vulture who decides to have the cygnets for brunch. (He doesn’t want Daffy either)

The mother swan passes out when she finds out, and Daffy flies to their rescue. He knocks the vulture out and hands him TNT which kills him. (I’ve seen this part on an episode of Bill Nye) Daffy is now accepted as part of the swans family and swims with them. (His reflection crashes into a tree)

Personal Rating: 5

Book Revue

“It’s Frankie!”

Warner bros. did a lot of cartoons where books come to life and this may be their last one, but it’s probably their finest. (It was directed by Clampett after all)

It’s midnight and all things literature have sprung to life. A Cherokee strip causes the sea wolf to howl and the complete works of Shakspeare to go haywire. Henry VIII wants to join in but is called back by his mother of the Aldrich family and she spanks him, only stopping then she sees Frank Sinatra whose voice makes all the little women faint and mother goose to go crazy. This goes into a musical number.

Daffy jumps off a Looney Tunes comic book and tells them to shut up. Getting some clothes out of the Saratoga Trunk, he dresses as Danny Kaye and sings his own song. He warns Little Red Riding Hood about the wolf and only just realizes his leg being salted. (In a blink and you’ll miss it scene, Daffy becomes a giant eye. This gag would be reused in “Tiny Toons” as a disease called “Clampettitus.”)

He hides in the petrified forest while the long arm of the law throws the wolf into jail for life. (Magazine) He easily breaks free but ends up falling down skid row, almost right into Dante’s Inferno. He nearly escapes but Sinatra’s singing makes him fall back in. In celebration everyone dances and has a good time… before the wolf tells them to knock it off.

Personal Rating: 4 (Just barely misses the 5 mark. I wouldn’t fault you for thinking it ranks higher.)

Back Alley Oproar

“Boy, am I Sweepy!”

A remake of an old cartoon called “Notes to You” (I should really talk about these cartoons in chronological order. I apologize for any confusion)

Elmer is tired. So tired in fact, that he leaps into his bed before the light goes out. Unfortunately, Sylvester has chosen his fence to sing for the night. Elmer throws many objects at him to shut up but the only one that manages to hit is a pair of shoes. Sylvester used these to stomp out the second Hungarian rhapsody but Elmer ties him up and covers his mouth. (Did those shoes just change color?)

Soon the putty tat is at it again and he greases Elmer’s steps and scatters tacks at the bottom. Elmer gets a golf club and slips and hurts his feet, then turns around and does it again to get his gun. Sylvester has his understudy come in to take his place, but Elmer pins him up against a wall with the gun anyway. He lures Fudd back to sleep with a lullaby and as soon as he is back in bed wakes him up again. Elmer has had enough and grabs some dynamite. But as soon as he lights the fuse, it blows up. In heaven, Elmer takes some solace that he should be able to get some sleep, but Sylvester was caught in the blast too, and now Elmer has to put up with his 9 (Or is it 19?) lives as well.

Personal Rating: 4

Duck Soup to Nuts

“C-c-c’mon out or i’ll b-b-blow your head off!”

Daffy is minding his own business when a hunting Porky comes to shoot him. (Porky seems to have some kind of bad suntan.) Daffy tries to discourage him by showing off his talents but Porky won’t buy it. After a chase that includes Daffy in the gun and Porky getting bumps on his head, Daffy hides underwater where Porky can’t get him.

After failing to get him with a diving helmet, Porky drains the lake. (He’s determined.) He finds Daffy flopping around but refuses to believe he’s a fish. Daffy retaliates by refusing to believe the hunter is a pig. He’s an eagle. They argue, and Daffy pulls the ole switcheroo, (That gag will never get old) and Porky jumps off a tree to prove his eagle prowess.

Out of bullets in his rifle, Porky pulls out a pistol and prepares to kill Daffy. Daffy begs to say goodbye to his family. Porky feels he can’t shoot a married duck with children and leaves. As soon as he’s gone the other ducks reveal themselves to be friends of Daffy’s. They all laugh…until Porky comes back for revenge.

Personal Rating: 3

The Great Piggy bank Robbery

“Fantastic! And furthermore, its unbelieva…ble!”

Daffy waits for his mail to the tune of “Powerhouse.” (and he even says “thufferin thuccotash” one of two times I can recall) his patience is rewarded with a new Dick Tracy comic book. He eagerly pours over each exciting panel and wishes he could be the man he admires. He accidentally knocks himself out and imagines that scenario.

Duck Twacy (Daffy) is getting numerous phone calls about missing piggy banks. He dismisses it as small stuff until he realizes his was stolen too. He immediately gets to the gangsters hideout (Porky cameo, yay!) and is met by the worst of the worst including: Mouseman, Pumpkinhead, Pussycat Puss, Batman, 88 Teeth, Neon Noodle, Double Header, and Wolfman. the chase is on! (Hey look! There’s an original Tracy villain: Flattop!)

Daffy makes pies out of Pumpkinhead and is tackled by most of the others. His body parts squirm out and he murders them with a Tommy-gun. Neon Noodle tries to get him, but hes turned into an “Eat at Joe’s sign”. Daffy finds the stolen goods and kisses the bank that’s his. He then wakes up to find himself kissing a sow.

Personal Rating: 5

Baby Bottleneck

“I do all the woik, and the fadders get all the credit.”

You didn’t think that I wouldn’t talk about Porky more after the last post did you? Also, I’d say sorry for no update on Tuesday, but next to no one comes here anyway so I’d only be apologizing to myself… On to the cartoon.

After World War 2,  people keep pumping out babies and it’s taking its toll on the stork. He quits and some inexperienced people try to make the deliveries themselves, but they make plenty of mistakes. Such as kittens to mice, gorillas to kangaroos and an alligator to a pig. (There is actually a censor that has never been restored. When the reptile tries to nurse at her teat, the sow originally said “Don’t touch that dial” If you don’t blink, you can see a brief frame of the line about to be said)

Replacing those idiots are Porky and Daffy. Daffy mans the phones and makes wisecracks to Cantor, about his lack of getting a boy and Mr. Dione for asking for a little too much. Porky is in charge of the assembly line which gets the babies ready for delivery. The only problem is one egg has no address. Porky asks Daffy to sit on it (Look how huge his hat got!) but Daffy refuses. A chase ensues which ultimately ends with the two running on the assembly line, getting dressed up like a baby, and shipped to Africa. Mother gorilla is in for quite the shock .

Personal Rating: 4

Kitty Kornered

“I hate p-p-p-p-p-pussy cats.”

About time I talked about the great and hilarious Porky again! Its nine o clock and everyone is putting their cat out. Porky has 4. A kitten, a midget cat, a drunk cat, and Sylvester. (Don’t let the yellow eyes and black nose fool you. It’s him. You can trust me) However, they have no intent on being outside and they toss Porky out in their stead.

They decide to party with cigars, wine, and chocolates when Porky re enters. He chases them, and at one point pulls Sylvester off a moose head and pulling out a full moose. Porky gets rid of them by using a shadow puppet of his dog and they flee. Sylvester comes up with a plan, and they don martian get ups to scare Porky out into the snow. The pig asks the audience if they know of any houses to rent.

Personal Rating: 4

Tweetie Pie

“Kiss the ittle birdie!”

This is it! this is THE cartoon. What is THE cartoon? This is the first Looney Tune that won an Oscar. (Ironicly “Tom and Jerry” had been winning tons of Oscars. Why? Are Tom and Jerry better than Looney Tunes? Fun fact: not always) Actually, in this cartoon Sylvester is called Thomas. Oh, and this is the canary and putty tat’s first time together, too.

It’s winter and Tweety is out warming himself by a cigar butt. Thomas (Sylvester) grabs him and almost immediately gets caught by his owner. She takes Tweety in and puts him in a cage, warning the cat to leave him alone. When she’s gone, Sylvester builds a stack of furniture that Tweety chops down. (The owner hits Sylvester with a broom) He builds one out of metal furniture and Tweety uses a blowtorch to destroy it. (Sylvester gets hit with the broom again)

At one point Sylvester has Tweety under a glass so Tweety can’t call for help. So the bird pokes Sylvester with a pin and the owner throws him out. After failing to get in through the fireplace, and a Rube Golberg device doesn’t work, he saws the area around the cage which brings the whole ceiling down. Sylvester throws the broom in the fire only to get hit by a shovel. Wielded by Tweety.

Personal Rating: 3

Bad ol’ Putty Tat

“I tawt I taw a *wolf whistle!*

The cartoon must have started without us, since we begin by seeing a hurt looking Sylvester starting at Tweety’s barbed wire covered tree house. For his next attempt he constructs a trampoline and bounces up. Every time he comes up however, Tweety hurts him in various ways.

Tweety escapes on a clothes line, but learns it’s connected to Sylvester’s tooth. Tweety attaches his end to a rocket, and the putty tat loses his teeth. Sylvester paints his finger to look like a female canary (See? Tweety IS a boy) and Tweety takes the bait. He only discovers what’s happening after he tries to pull her to safety and her hat flies off, revealing a claw. Tweety switches hats, and Sylvester chomps a delicious finger.

Now, Tweety runs to a badminton game, and accidentally ends up as the birdie. Sylvester joins the game, but only gets a firecracker in his belly. Finally, he disguises his head as Tweety’s house and Tweety falls for it. Yep, Sylvester got him. But the bird’s not in his stomach, he’s in his head. Playing train, Tweety makes the putty tat crash into a brick wall.

Personal Rating: 3

Mouse Wreckers

“What’d I do? What’d I do?”

Hubie and Bertie are happy to find a new place to call home, but there’s one problem with it: Claude. According to all those trophies, he’s a champion mouser and the mice are going to have to get rid of him if they are to live there. They hide on the roof, and Hubie lowers Bertie down the chimney to the cat, to torment him and get away quickly. They use sticks, bellows, and even a dog to drive Claude crazy. They even tie a rock to his tail and throw it off the roof, dragging him along with it.

Claude is shaken to say the least, but he convinces himself it was all a dream. While he sleeps the mice try their coupe-de-gracie. They nail all the furniture to the ceiling, somehow get the celing lamp to point upward and put it on the floor, and wake up Claude. He is scared to find himself on the ceiling but freaks out even more when he climbs into the next room, and finds its right side up, but the windows show upside down horizons and underwater scenery. He runs screaming from the house as the mice get comfortable

Personal Rating: 3