Category: Chuck Jones

Anything directed by the man who was responsible for directing the number one greatest cartoon.

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Go Fly a Kit

“What’s she in love with anyway, a DC6?”

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1957

It’s 2016 and I’m still here. (Thought for sure that last month would finish me off.) There are hundreds of shorts still waiting to be discussed, so let’s not waste any time!

At an airport, a cat (although she looks more like a kitten to me) gazes longingly at the runway. A guy takes notice of her an asks another what she is doing. Apparently, she is waiting for her boyfriend.

Wait, what now? The second man tells of how there was an eagle with an overdeveloped motherly instinct. So powerful, that she’d rather raise a kitten as her own rather than eat it. She’s also smart enough to realize he’s a mammal, as she brings him milk to eat. (Birds are kinda lacking in the milk department. Unless you’re a pigeon.) She even tries teaching him to fly. While he plummets at first, he finds if he wags his tail enough, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly! The two love each other very much, but as nature intended, he must eventually leave the nest. (Don’t cry Miss eagle. I’m sure you’ll find a human baby you can raise.)

He flies on and lands on a telephone wire to try and chat with some (tweeting?) crows. They fly off in a panic. Either it’s that moment where he realizes he’s no bird, or his hormones kick in, because he sees another cat being chased by… Marc Antony? (I can’t confirm or deny it’s him, but I’m going to say it is.) Flying, he both scratches Marc and takes the cat up a tree to be safe. It’s love at first sight! (Names? Uh, how about Swoop and Amber?) Swoop isn’t done messing with Marc though, and flies down as the dog begins to charge. Despite the fact she just saw him fly, Amber freaks out. Obviously, there’s no need to worry. Swoop leaps up to scratch again and Marc skids into a lake.

He sneaks out to surprise the cat. (I still think they look like kittens, frankly) Amber sees this and tries to warn her savior, but he seems too entranced by her beauty to move. (I do that constantly with animals.) But Swoop seems on top of things, as he flies out of the resultinh scuffle, leaving Marc chewing his own leg. He next tries to club the cat, which is on his head. Naturally, he keeps hitting himself. Eventually, he traps the cat under a trash can. He thinks he’s won, but he doesn’t notice that the cat is somehow strong enough to lift the can with a bulldog on top and leave it atop a skyscraper. The dog can’t sit still as he must keep balance. Come night he’s still there. (That’s harsh. You couldn’t have just landed him in a pound?)

The couple takes a moonlight stroll and gaze into each other’s eyes. The story ending, the man says that every year the cat flies south. It’s not instinct, it’s just common sense. I’d do it if I didn’t hate movement. Oh, who am I to ruin this moment? The happiness on Amber’s face is more than precious as Swoop returns. She’s not the only one happy to see him though. Their children (who inherited or learned their father’s flight) are too. He’s still just her boyfriend, though. It’s not like cats mate for life. The happy couple gazes into each other’s eyes again and their offspring do the same to one another. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Please tell me they’re just imitating them since they are young. Otherwise this is probably the most disturbing short I’ve yet to see. Animals or not, I don’t want them inbreeding.

Personal Rating: 3

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Cat Feud

‘Electro-Magnetic Crane’

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1958.

Well, forget that Marc Anthony and Pussyfoot ever met. According to this short, this is how it all really began. Of course, Marc is gray here, so it might just be an alternate universe. The short itself starts in a construction site. Marc Anthony is a guard dog who marches in time to the short’s soundtrack. He takes great pride in his work and ferociously barks at a moving bag that contains a kitten. Um… Why was it in a trash can? (Humanity, what’s wrong with you!) Despite the large canine barking in it’s face, the kitten is not afraid and instead makes itself comfortable on the dog’s back. He falls for the cutie and adopts him.

He sets him down with a sausage to eat, while he continues his rounds. Hungry eyes are watching, however. It’s a creature that looks like a mix between Claude Cat and the Grinch. So we’ll call him Grinch cat. He heads for the meaty treat, but as soon as he lays one paw on it, Marc Antony is there to pound him. But the sour puss is not going to give up that easily, as he begins to raise the I-beam the kitten is on. In turn, Pussyfoot wakes up and takes note of the meal in its possession. With the dog’s help the kitten, manages to not walk off into the abyss, but he is left hanging by another beam. Grinch cat, shakes it a bit, (sure showed him.) and goes back to the hunt. (I really like how he’s animated.)

When he does get the sausage from the kitten, the kitten shows it is not pleased. Grinch cat does the ole “Go on, hit me!” routine, not seeing the I-beam Marc Antony has sent heading for his skull. Thinking the pain was delivered by the kitten, he doesn’t notice that a return trip means he’s about to be I-beamed again. (And I beamed.) Fearing the obviously herculean super kitty, Grinch cat grabs a hammer. Marc in turn makes use of today’s quote and pulls him and the hammer up. Grinch falls down, and Marc releases the hammer head on cat head. The cat grabs a hardhat and keeps his cranium intact. But the clever dog, turns the magnet back on, and the cat flies back up. Then Marc just trolls him by quickly turning the thing off and on. But he has to stop, when he sees his precious Pussyfoot about to fall again.

He saves him (her/it) and Grinch tries to make a break for it. He gets his foot caught in a bucket though, and the magnet grabs him again, wedging him between the pail and the hat. Later that night, he’s still up there as the dog and kitten happily bunk down for the night.

Personal Rating: 3

Guess who is going to a symphony tonight? Not just any one though, this one is going to be playing a tribute to Looney Tunes. A dream come true! Here’s wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

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Kiss me Cat

“A cat that won’t catch mice, and now a crazy dog.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1953.

It’s a continuation story! (That’s rare for Warner Bros.) Marc Anthony happily sleeps with his kitten, Pussyfoot. (Whose name is used for the first time here.) They are happy together. The lady of the house, (whose name is revealed to be Vi. no relation to last weeks post) tells her husband, Tom, that she has seen a mouse. Despite the fact that Pussyfoot is a flucking kitten, Tom says that if he, (they say “he” but I’m sure the final word is that Pussyfoot is a her. But I’ll just say he for now.) doesn’t catch mice, then they will get a new cat. While he doesn’t outright say they’ll replace the current one, it’s definitely implied. Marc decides to teach his pet to catch mice. He shoves him into the mouse’s hole and the result is too cute for words, so you’ll just have to see it yourself.

Preh-shuss!

But if Tom sees that, then Pussyfoot definitely will be gone. Marc tries drawing some pictures to get the point across. (Pussyfoot imitating his expression.) It doesn’t work and the mouse just uses the cat as a mule once more. Marc attaches some cheese to a jack-in-the-box and the mouse faints at the severed clown head in a box. (Why are these marketed as children’s toys?) He puts the mouse in the kittens mouth and begs Tom to come see. Tom’s too slow and the mouse takes his mule out again. In desperation, Marc shows he can do ballet. Tom isn’t amused. (I am.)

While Marc thinks of a new plan, the mouse lures Pussyfoot into his hole. He sends a ransom note that demands cheese in small chunks, or the cat will be returned in the same style. (Dang. That’s dark.) Marc calls his bluff, until he hears squeals of pain. (Really just the mouse pretending. Pussyfoot is having some milk. He’s not such a bad mouse.) Marc gives in to the demands, and Tom catches him in the act. Marc gets another idea. He puts a magnifying mirror up to the hole and tells the mouse to see the NEW cat. When the mouse sees this, (Pussyfoot only looks mean because Marc Anthony squished his brow down.) he high tails it out of there with his family. (He was just trying to survive? Tom and Vi, you two are evil.) Marc Anthony proudly shows off the champion. Looks like they’ll continue to have many happy days together.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Aristo-cat

“Good grief, I’m all alone!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1943.

Why am I doing a post a day earlier than I usually do? Well, my dear readers, tomorrow happens to be White Wednesday. The last day where you should remember November. Since come Thanksgiving, people seem to recall that there actually are 11 months. It’s also a great day to be miserable, since society demands you be “merry” and “bright” for the Christmas season. Besides, I’m going to the movies tomorrow, and I can’t promise I’ll have time.

Don’t worry about that title, you are at the right place. I didn’t go all Disney on you. This short came out 27 years earlier. Besides, I think “The Aristocats” is my least favorite Disney film anyway. No way I’d be wasting a blog post on it.

A cat named Pussy (No immature jokes, please. None of them will be clever.) has got it made. He’s the pet of a rich lady and therefore gets a comfy bed, breakfast brought to him in it, and complete control of Meadows the butler. He’s a bit of a dick though. Squirting grapefruit juice into Meadow’s eye and letting him slip on bars of soap. It’s no surprise that Meadows quits. The cat panics as he realizes that as a pet, he has no clue how to fend for himself. (Look at those backgrounds courtesy of a one John McGrew, they are a beautiful abstract masterpiece. Best part of the picture, no question.)

In his panic, he finds a book about cats. (Written by a one F.E. Line.) To his luck, it opens up to the chapter that details the eating habits of the cat. It says that they feed on mice. Sounds easy enough, but never having seen an actual mouse, the cat runs in terror when he finds one. The mouse in question is Hubie, making his debut here. (You could say this cat is Claude, but the appearance is all wrong and his bed says Pussy remember? Although he does have a similar voice.) Hubie calls his friend Bertie, (just called Bert here) and shows him that the cat is no threat to them. The mice (whose colors will switch for later appearances) happily feast on cheese.

They refuse to share with the cat, telling him he should eat mice. He admits he doesn’t know what they look like, and the two point him out to a nice large one named Rover. Pussy tries to make a sandwich out of him, but that goes about as well as you’d expect. (One should never try to eat something alive that can open it’s mouth wider than you.) The cat is thrown back into the house, where he slides into the book again. Conveniently, he finds himself looking at the part of the book that clearly labels the cat’s prey and enemies. With his new knowledge, he chases the mice. They run into Rover’s dog house just as the dog comes home and pounds them. Pussy wakes up back in his bed, as it was just a horrible dream. Rover agrees. (Keep your gay jokes to yourself please. They’re not funny.)

Personal Rating: 4 Those backgrounds are an abstract masterpiece, and are worth a point on their own.

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Conrad the Sailor

“You’re a sthlovenly housthekeeper.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1942.

Who is Conrad? Well, you asked the right person. If you didn’t ask you are either: A) already quite knowledgeable about cartoons and just come here for my jokes, or B) you are a sad person who isn’t even looking at my blog. shame on you. Conrad the cat only appeared in 3 shorts. All of which were directed by Jones, all of which came out the same year. This is both the only one with his name in the title and the only one where he speaks. His one defining character trait is that he has a little shuffle walk but I like him. His appearance makes me smile. This short was his final appearance. It takes place on a ship. (No surprise.)

While most of the crew appear to be dogs, Conrad is not. Perhaps this is the reason he’s the only one swabbing the deck? Listen to his voice. Does he sound familiar? No, it’s not Mel. Please stop guessing him. Would I even bring it up if it was Mel? That my friends is Pinto Colvig. The original voice of Goofy. Even if he is being discriminated, Conrad cheerfully mops and sings. To his displeasure, he finds muddy duck prints all over. Daffy Duck prints to be precise. After mocking his singing, Daffy switches his bucket of water for red paint. Conrad doesn’t even notice until the duck points it out. Angered, the cat gives chase.

Despite Daffy thinking he gave him the slip, Conrad is right behind him and pulls him into a lifeboat and pounds him. Coming out they both salute the captain, before Daffy is tossed into the sea. That’s obviously not going to stop him. The chase continues when he gets in Conrad’s way of polishing a cannon. Before they can chase though, the captain comes by again and they salute once more. Daffy starts up a game of “Patty cake” using the lyrics to “Pease porridge” instead. Which is a really odd rhyme when I really think about it, why is it not spelled peas? Why are they in porridge? Do people really want to eat porridge that’s nine days old? What is porridge?

They chase, (salute the captain again) and Daffy hides in a gun. Conrad knows exactly where he’s hiding and loads it. When fired, the bullet continues to chase Daffy. Him running behind Conrad, means that the cat has to run too. But this doesn’t stop all three of them from saluting the captain again.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Night Watchman

“I guess you’ll have to watch the kitchen tonight, son.”

Directed by Charles Jones. Released in 1938.

In Chuck’s directorial debut, our story takes place in a house. There is a cat there, but he is sick tonight. Therefore, his “The Night Watchman” duties will have to be handled by his son. His son looks like some kind of a rodent to me, with his big buck teeth. And he’s kinda clumsy too. Even smacks himself when trying to salute. He heads out to perform his old man’s job. Geez, he’s tiny! I know he’s a rodent, but he didn’t look much smaller than his father. Maybe the kitchen is giant?

Either way, he’s immediately in the company of a mouse. The mouse does the ole “what’s that and flicks his nose” gag and steals one of his buttons. Learning that the regular watchman is sick, he calls his posse and they begin to feast. They eat their way through the food and make some humorous sight gags. Like, starting at one end of a pretzel and eating one’s self into a knot, and getting into a jar of olives and eating them all. (Thus creating your own prison with only an olive jar.) The kid tries to get them to stop, but he’s not very assertive and actually ends up helping prepare a steak for the leader.

The mice perform a floor show and this forces the child to yell to get his “quiet” heard. The leader hits him and he walks off in tears. His conscience berates him for letting his father down and reminds him he’s a cat. (Really? All this time I though he was a gopher. That still doesn’t explain why he’s so small.) With newfound courage, he heads back into the fray and pounds every mouse that tries to stand in his way. Before he’s through with them, he is sure to steal a button from the leader. Turnabout is fair play.

Personal Rating: 3

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90 Day Wondering

“I’m a civilian!”

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1956.

Two posts in a day? It’s an October Miracle! (Or the idiot who runs this place didn’t plan ahead in advance very well, and realized he needed to have two in one.) Well anyways… At a location named “Fort Itude” (Which let’s be honest, is one of the best names of any place in history.) A tornado seems to leave. Taz was in the army? Nah, it’s just Ralph Phillips who is beyond happy to be “normal” again. His family welcome him back, but soon the excitement wears down and they settle back to their daily routine.

Ralph decides to go out for some fun. (Of course, not until after he’s had a few beers and smokes. The kid of “From A to Z-z-z-z”, people. ) He heads to the malt shop he used to go to, but nobody he used to hang with is there. They’ve been replaced with younger teens who make Ralph feel like an old man. But he has his address book! He calls up the girls he used to know. Which leads to an expected, but still hilarious joke: “Mommy? A man wants to talk to you.” He goes through them all; none of them are interested. If you weren’t there to engage them every day, you deserve to die alone.

As Ralph mopes in the park, a tiny little character shows up. This is Pete, the civilians friend. He’s here to tell Ralph the benefits of being out of the army. Another character shows up named Re-Pete. He looks cool, so naturally he is my new friend. Both begin trying to persuade Ralph to stay on/come back to their side. The army may pay less, but it gives so much more. There are over 400 jobs available, it can finance one’s education, give you a paid vacation, and if you play your cards right, you can retire at age 38. (Dang. Is that still possible? I’d look it up, but I don’t want to.) Pete is losing the battle and none of the ideas he’s pitching are working. (Like inventing dehydrated water and inheriting Fort Knox. Both of which I’ve already done multiple times.)

Ralph re-enlists. A nice short, but it seems to be saying that you can’t be happy unless you’re in the army. Say good-bye to free will kids. Your choice has been made.

Personal rating: 2

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8 ball Bunny

“It’s a boid! A boid in a tuxedo!”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

At a local theater, a show is just now closing. It is the “Ice Frolics” and it appears that their claim to fame is a skating penguin. Why, it’s Playboy. Haven’t seen him since “Frigid Hare.” (He’s not as cute as he was there. But he is getting his name.) But, uh oh! Looks like the rest of the crew forgot him! He desperately tries to catch up, but penguins weren’t exactly made for running. Or flying. In fact, unless he’s chasing a submarine, it’s probably hopeless.

While on the chase, he falls into Bug’s rabbit hole and wakes him up. Bugs is initially hostile, but softens up when the bird tears up. Apologizing, he agrees to help him find his way home. To his dismay, he finds his new charge is a penguin, and they primarily live at the south pole. (Although they do live in other places you know. Africa, the Galapagos, Australia…) But a promise is a promise. As they make their way south on a train, Bugs again announces his unhappiness. (We also have an adorable shot of Playboy hugging Bugs.) Playboy begins to tear up again, and Bugs apologizes saying he can’t bear to see him cry.

A hobo on the car agrees. Why, Penguins is practically chickens. (Well, they are both birds. So, sure.) And crying chickens make him so unhappy, he has to put them out of their misery. Coming to the rescue, Bugs points out that rabbits are bigger than penguins. (Not really, but sure.) The hobo agrees abandoning the bird,  and trying to get his mitts on Bugs. Bugs easily kicks him off the train. At New Orleans, Bugs has apparently had enough, and sends Playboy off on a boat to go the rest of the way. After it sets off Bugs overhears that it’s heading back to Brooklyn. Bugs swims after it, and rescues Playboy from being on the menu. (Are penguins really as tasty as this short suggests? I should test it.)

They make their way to an Island where Bugs forces the bird to build them a boat. Then Humphrey Bogart appears and quotes “The treasure of the Sierra Madre” asking for money. Bugs angrily gives him some. Later at sea, Bugs is going mad with hunger. The hobo’s words echo in his head and he nearly gives in to temptation. Luckily, they seem to have hit land! Bugs however, is not willing to pay 25 cents to pass through the Panama Canal. He opts to travel by land. It’s not long before they are captured by natives and are prepared to be cooked. (Okay, I really need a penguin hot dog now!)

Suddenly, something appears that sends them into a panic! It’s Bogart again. Bugs more happily gives him change this time. After many perilous obstacles, Bugs finally delivers Playboy to the actual pole. As Bugs turns to leave, Playboy begins crying ice cubes. He shows Bugs a flyer. He’s actually the only Hoboken born Penguin. (You’d think he would have shown him that sooner.) Bogart appears again, ready to ask for more money, but Bugs gives HIM the penguin this time and runs off.

Personal Rating: 4

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To Hare is Human

“Poor chap. He had his chance.”

See the poor coyote, dreaming of his breakfast.

Directed by Chuck Jones

Wile E. heads out of his lair with some type of contraption in tow. It turns out to be a portable elevator which he uses as a way into Bugs’s home. He comes out with Bugs literally in the bag. Bugs asks what is going on. Wile E. explains and also tells Bugs (who is in the middle of escaping) that since he is a genius, he knows that Bugs was going to ask what was in the bag, Wile E. would tell, and Bugs would ask what he was going to do with the rabbit, whilst using the time to escape. And by this point, Wile E. knows there is nothing in the sack. As it turns out, Bugs says there IS something in the sack and Wile E. humors him by taking a look. It explodes. Bugs takes the elevator back down and Wile E. chases after him. Not noticing the TNT Bugs has left in the lift. BOOM! Time for the brains to be used.

Wile E.’s latest gizmo is a Univac Electronic Brain. (UEB for short) You just enter your problem and it will offer you the best solution. He enters the animal as “rabbit” (was one of those options ‘dad’?) location as “hole”, and what as a “combination lock.” The machine tells him to use burglary methods and even prints the code for the lock. (Wow. I need me one of those. For good deeds, I mean!) Wile E. heads out at night with a portable window he puts up next to the lock. (Of course it’s necessary.) Bugs, reading in bed, can hear him and casually tosses a banana peel into his path. He slips and lands in the coyote disposal which throws him out off the side of a cliff.

Come morning, he asks what to do while Bugs is putting carrots into the toaster. It recommends substituting the veggies for grenades. He does so, but the spring of the toaster needs work as it launches them right back to sender. Simply asking “what”, “now”, and “?”  has it suggesting using a plunger. Wile E. has clearly been working out, as it creates a LOT of suction. So much so, that when Bugs puts a pipe out the other way, Wile E. gets sucked through it and into the plunger himself. Next, Bugs is vacuuming and Wile E. places a TNT stick into the machine. This probably would have worked if he hadn’t done it just as the rabbit was finishing. Then maybe he wouldn’t have emptied the bag right away into the trash can Wile E. was hiding in.

Wile E. then sets a booby trap in the carrot patch, that will launch a boulder on Bugs when he pulls a certain one. (Can carrots grow in the this dry a climate?) Of course, nothing happens until Wile E. touches the snare himself. Rushing back to the UEB he asks for a suggestion, and it flat out tells him to go back and get hit. (Which he does.) As the short ends, we see that the UEB only has one moving part: Bugs himself.

Personal Rating: 4

Have a merry Christmas!

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Barbary-Coast Bunny

“You realize this is not going to go unchallenged.”

Probably didn’t have his iron today.

Directed by Chuck Jones

While he is tunneling to visit family, Bugs strikes gold! (With his head.) His happiness quickly turns to paranoia, as he wonders how he will keep it safe. His fear is justified, as he is being watched by none other than Nasty Canasta. (Not only not appearing with Daffy this time, but also looking like less of a threat. Either way, we know he is not going to win against Bugs.) Canasta sets up a fake bank, and Bugs happily deposits his fortune. As Canasta ties it to his donkey/mule Bugs changes his mind and asks for it back. Canasta responds by folding up Bugs in the fake bank, placing a rock on top and riding off. (What do you know? He did “win after all.”)

6 months pass, and it looks as if Canasta has used his ill-gotten funds to build a casino. He is busy putting invisible ink on the cards with someone walks in. To us, it looks like Bugs Bunny. To Canasta, he looks like the worlds largest lollipop. He asks if he can use Canasta’s “telly-o-phone”. (A slot machine.) Canasta lets him do so. Bugs puts his coin in and pulls the lever. He asks the “operator” for his ma, and complains to her that he needs money. He wins the jackpot and thanks his mother. As he leaves, Canasta (Amazed at what just happened, but not going to allow someone to win in his joint.) asks if he would like to stay and play some games. Bugs suggests marbles and Canasta agrees.

He shows him how HIS version is played. (It’s roulette.) Bugs bets a penny and wins. (Because the game is rigged, and Canasta has buttons to stop the ball on whatever number he wants.) He tells Bugs that in his casino, the customer always wins. (“Really?” asks Bugs in a hysterical manner. Kills me every time.) Later, it’s shown that Bugs has now bet just about all he’s already won. Canasta hammers a block of wood, into the spot Bugs keeps betting on. (A small problem I have: why does he need to do that? He tells Bugs it’s so no one else can bet on it, but it’s rigged. He doesn’t need to worry about that.) He has the ball land on double zero and he laughs so hard, he pounds the table and the ball ends up landing in the knothole of the wood.

Bugs goes to leave, but Canasta suggests they play a game of draw poker next. Bugs is willing to try. Canasta explains that the player with the biggest hand wins, and Bugs blows up one of his gloves. (Canasta: “Cut it out, can’t ya?) Bugs begins to leave again, but Canasta apologizes and Bugs is willing to give him one more try. They play, and Canasta has a full house. Bugs is not sure he won, because all he got was two pair. (A pair of ones, and another pair of ones.) Having enough, Canasta pulls his gun on Bugs saying their going to play another game. (This must be the way they play marbles in Russia.)

Bugs wonders if all you do is spin the revolver. He does so, and even more money pours from the gun. Presumably having gotten his stuff back, Bugs leaves while Canasta tries spinning the gun. It blows up in his face. Bugs tells us our moral: NEVER try to steal karats from rabbits.

Personal Rating: 4