Category: Chuck Jones

Anything directed by the man who was responsible for directing the number one greatest cartoon.

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To Hare is Human

“Poor chap. He had his chance.”

See the poor coyote, dreaming of his breakfast.

Directed by Chuck Jones

Wile E. heads out of his lair with some type of contraption in tow. It turns out to be a portable elevator which he uses as a way into Bugs’s home. He comes out with Bugs literally in the bag. Bugs asks what is going on. Wile E. explains and also tells Bugs (who is in the middle of escaping) that since he is a genius, he knows that Bugs was going to ask what was in the bag, Wile E. would tell, and Bugs would ask what he was going to do with the rabbit, whilst using the time to escape. And by this point, Wile E. knows there is nothing in the sack. As it turns out, Bugs says there IS something in the sack and Wile E. humors him by taking a look. It explodes. Bugs takes the elevator back down and Wile E. chases after him. Not noticing the TNT Bugs has left in the lift. BOOM! Time for the brains to be used.

Wile E.’s latest gizmo is a Univac Electronic Brain. (UEB for short) You just enter your problem and it will offer you the best solution. He enters the animal as “rabbit” (was one of those options ‘dad’?) location as “hole”, and what as a “combination lock.” The machine tells him to use burglary methods and even prints the code for the lock. (Wow. I need me one of those. For good deeds, I mean!) Wile E. heads out at night with a portable window he puts up next to the lock. (Of course it’s necessary.) Bugs, reading in bed, can hear him and casually tosses a banana peel into his path. He slips and lands in the coyote disposal which throws him out off the side of a cliff.

Come morning, he asks what to do while Bugs is putting carrots into the toaster. It recommends substituting the veggies for grenades. He does so, but the spring of the toaster needs work as it launches them right back to sender. Simply asking “what”, “now”, and “?”  has it suggesting using a plunger. Wile E. has clearly been working out, as it creates a LOT of suction. So much so, that when Bugs puts a pipe out the other way, Wile E. gets sucked through it and into the plunger himself. Next, Bugs is vacuuming and Wile E. places a TNT stick into the machine. This probably would have worked if he hadn’t done it just as the rabbit was finishing. Then maybe he wouldn’t have emptied the bag right away into the trash can Wile E. was hiding in.

Wile E. then sets a booby trap in the carrot patch, that will launch a boulder on Bugs when he pulls a certain one. (Can carrots grow in the this dry a climate?) Of course, nothing happens until Wile E. touches the snare himself. Rushing back to the UEB he asks for a suggestion, and it flat out tells him to go back and get hit. (Which he does.) As the short ends, we see that the UEB only has one moving part: Bugs himself.

Personal Rating: 4

Have a merry Christmas!

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Barbary-Coast Bunny

“You realize this is not going to go unchallenged.”

Probably didn’t have his iron today.

Directed by Chuck Jones

While he is tunneling to visit family, Bugs strikes gold! (With his head.) His happiness quickly turns to paranoia, as he wonders how he will keep it safe. His fear is justified, as he is being watched by none other than Nasty Canasta. (Not only not appearing with Daffy this time, but also looking like less of a threat. Either way, we know he is not going to win against Bugs.) Canasta sets up a fake bank, and Bugs happily deposits his fortune. As Canasta ties it to his donkey/mule Bugs changes his mind and asks for it back. Canasta responds by folding up Bugs in the fake bank, placing a rock on top and riding off. (What do you know? He did “win after all.”)

6 months pass, and it looks as if Canasta has used his ill-gotten funds to build a casino. He is busy putting invisible ink on the cards with someone walks in. To us, it looks like Bugs Bunny. To Canasta, he looks like the worlds largest lollipop. He asks if he can use Canasta’s “telly-o-phone”. (A slot machine.) Canasta lets him do so. Bugs puts his coin in and pulls the lever. He asks the “operator” for his ma, and complains to her that he needs money. He wins the jackpot and thanks his mother. As he leaves, Canasta (Amazed at what just happened, but not going to allow someone to win in his joint.) asks if he would like to stay and play some games. Bugs suggests marbles and Canasta agrees.

He shows him how HIS version is played. (It’s roulette.) Bugs bets a penny and wins. (Because the game is rigged, and Canasta has buttons to stop the ball on whatever number he wants.) He tells Bugs that in his casino, the customer always wins. (“Really?” asks Bugs in a hysterical manner. Kills me every time.) Later, it’s shown that Bugs has now bet just about all he’s already won. Canasta hammers a block of wood, into the spot Bugs keeps betting on. (A small problem I have: why does he need to do that? He tells Bugs it’s so no one else can bet on it, but it’s rigged. He doesn’t need to worry about that.) He has the ball land on double zero and he laughs so hard, he pounds the table and the ball ends up landing in the knothole of the wood.

Bugs goes to leave, but Canasta suggests they play a game of draw poker next. Bugs is willing to try. Canasta explains that the player with the biggest hand wins, and Bugs blows up one of his gloves. (Canasta: “Cut it out, can’t ya?) Bugs begins to leave again, but Canasta apologizes and Bugs is willing to give him one more try. They play, and Canasta has a full house. Bugs is not sure he won, because all he got was two pair. (A pair of ones, and another pair of ones.) Having enough, Canasta pulls his gun on Bugs saying their going to play another game. (This must be the way they play marbles in Russia.)

Bugs wonders if all you do is spin the revolver. He does so, and even more money pours from the gun. Presumably having gotten his stuff back, Bugs leaves while Canasta tries spinning the gun. It blows up in his face. Bugs tells us our moral: NEVER try to steal karats from rabbits.

Personal Rating: 4

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Forward March Hare

“Holy Cats! I’ve been drafted!”

Have I got your attention?

Directed by Chuck Jones.

As the mailman makes his rounds, he delivers a letter to one Bertram Bonny. But as he pulls away, the exhaust from his vehicle causes the letter to fly towards a different house. Namely, one that belongs to Bugs Bunny. Taking the letter, he finds out America wants him! (Despite the fact he already was the only toon to actually be part of our armies.) He arrives at boot camp and goes to take his physical. AUGH! Too much nude! I have no desire to see that much exposed man-flesh. It’s nasty. (The guy behind Bugs is so messed up, his hair changes colors.)

Bugs shocks the doctor who runs the x-ray, and scores perfect on the vision test, reading everything on it. (All those carrots really helped.) He gets his uniform and joins the ranks, introducing himself as Private Bugs Bunny to his superiors. The sergeant (who I think is voiced by John T. Smith, voice of the Crusher) sarcastically says he is Porky Pig. (Don’t flatter yourself pal.) Perhaps he should have done that out of earshot of HIS superior, Colonel Putty Tat. (Apparently General Tweety has been asking about him, too.)

He is forced to make Bugs go on a long hike. (And is down a stripe.) Returning to Camp Ono, (Laugh) Bugs takes a bath in a helmet. It belongs to the Colonel and when he puts it on, he takes another stripe from Smith. (Gasp! He’s smoking! We better edit that out because people are stupid enough to do exactly what cartoons do.) Smith tells Bugs to clean and dress the chickens for dinner tonight. (The army makes you do that?) Bugs takes him literally. (What classy Roosters. All hoping to be nominated for the year of the rooster, no doubt)

Bugs next uses a bomb to hammer up a poster, blowing up himself and launching the shell to the colonel. Down to his last stripe, Smith asks why Bugs won’t listen to him. He has ears… really long ears. Gasp! Private Bugs Bunny this whole time was really: Bugs Bunny! Bugs is told that rabbits just aren’t meant to join the army. (Species-ist.) But they do have a job Bugs can do: testing all the bombs for the duds. Only 30 more years til retirement!

Personal Rating: 4

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Mississippi Hare

♪Camptown races sing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah…♪

Directed by Charles M. Jones

This short gets censored a lot because of scenes that apparently scream racism. It starts in a cotton field where Bugs is napping. Apparently this is bad, because those are African Americans harvesting it. Well, we don’t see any definitive proof that they aren’t being paid, so it might be relatively harmless, but I digress. He gets packed with the cotton on a riverboat and he climbs out of the hold to see where he is.

He notices that this boat throws off stowaways. Dashing into a cabin, Bugs dresses as a gentleman and shows off the ticket, that I guess was in the room. Secure, he takes a look around. He comes across a gentleman named Colonel Shuffle. (Jone’s take at directing a Yosemite Sam character.) He is voiced by Billy Bletcher and demands for someone to try and beat him in poker. Bugs takes the challenge and bets $100.00 in chips. (Which is half a chip. Ha) Fade out.

Fade in, and see that Bugs has all the chips, and Shuffle has the half chip. With A’s in his eyes, he shows his hand, but Bugs’s is better and he wins it all. He flat out calls Shuffle a jack@$$, (Well, Shuffle did ask for it) and the colonel declares a duel. Bugs walks with him and misses the shots. He shoves an exploding cigar in his mouth, and gives him a banjo to play. (“Racist” part 2. That is apparently blackface on Shuffle. Or you know, ASHface.) Bugs has him dance off the boat and he comes back up with the wheel.

He tries to fire his gun but liquid comes out. It must be a *dons shades* water pistol. Anyways, Bugs disguises as a barker and gets him to enter a show, which is really just a one way trip back into the drink. When he aims again Bugs tells him it’s still full of water and Shuffle checks by shooting himself. Bugs tricks him into the boiler and Shuffle desperately tries to buy a cup of water to put out the fire. He asks Bugs for change and Bugs takes his sweet time. Finally giving it, Shuffle gets the water, and begins firing again immdiately. (Smart. Elmer would’ve walked off before remembering his task at hand.)

Bugs relies on his drag routine and beats Shuffle with a parasol. His wig briefly comes off and Shuffle chases again. Bugs pleads with a much taller man to help him, and Shuffle is tossed off the boat for good. The man comes back to flirt with Bugs and sees his tail. He throws himself off too.

Personal Rating: 3

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Knight-Mare Hare

“Surrender varlet! Thou art the prisoner of m’lance!”

Directed by Chuck Jones

While drying his ears, Bugs is reading a book about Knights and Gallantry. All of a sudden, an apple falls on his head. The scenery changes and suddenly Bugs is in the middle ages. He immediately runs into a knight. (Look at his horse, it’s like DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH!) Said knight, has never heard of Bug’s friends. (Including Cab of Calloway and Satchmo of Armstrong) Angered, Bugs is willing to challenge him to a duel. The sword he is given is too heavy and the knight is getting closer. Bug’s blindfolds himself and wins by tripping the horse, sending the knight into a tower.

Next, a huge dragon appears. It seems really happy to breathe fire and tries to make roast rabbit. Bugs subdues him with a seltzer bottle and the dragon scampers off. Looking around, Bugs enters a wizard’s lair. His name is Merlin of Monroe. (That’s a great joke.) He demonstrates his magic prowess by turning Bugs into a pig. (I love pigs!) Bugs simply unzips the skin and challenges Merlin (who looks like a cross between Witch Hazel and Mugsy,) to click his thumb like a lighter. Angered at Bugs making a mockery of his spells, he tries but can’t seem to do it. This gives Bugs a chance to use magic powder to turn Merlin into an equine. (I can’t pinpoint what type.)

Seeing an apple, Bugs throws it on his head and wouldn’t you know it? It works and he goes back home. Relived to be back he spies an equine (Horse? Donkey? Mule? Hinny? I have no idea!) with Merlin’s hat. He shakes it off as a coincidence. Until he hears it’s name IS Merlin! What a twist! (Now that I’ve said that, I’m prominent online.)

Personal Rating:3

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Operation: Rabbit

“Allow me to introduce myself: My name is Wile E. Coyote. Genius.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

I’m always amazed about how few people know that Wile E. appeared with Bugs and that he spoke. This is actually one of the first Looney Tune shorts I recall watching. Heck, this was Wile E’s second appearance, so he had no real standard yet. But his other role would catch on far more so, leaving the other in obscurity. (This is a phenomenon that I call “Zelda 2 syndrome”.) Wile E. starts the short by flat out telling Bugs he is going to eat him, and that since he is a genius, Bugs might as well give up. Bugs is not fazed and just leaves. Wile E. begins his plans. (It’s hard for us geniuses. No one wants to appreciate us while we’re alive.)

Plan 1 is a pressure cooker he puts over Bug’s hole. When Bugs tells him that there is no rabbit in there, Wile E. checks and Bugs traps him under it. Then he clubs him. Plan 2. Wile E. has a cannon with al ot of pipes to launch a cannonball right into Bug’s home. Bugs has more pipe and sends it right back. While working on plan 3, Wile E. finds Bugs at his door announcing his decision to give up. He just needs a witness to sign his will, and offers his predator a pen. (TNT) Wile E. is happy to oblige and just puts out the fuse. That proves he is a genius. Elmer and Sam would have fallen for that. And no one, not the first time anyway, sees the second fuse on the other end. BOOM!

Plan 3 involves an explosive rabbit decoy. Wile E. turns it on  in his house (for some reason) when there’s a knock at the door. It’s a female coyote. She’s a decoy, but Wile E. is too smitten to notice. (Tells her how lucky she is marrying a genius. Love his ego.) Bugs detonates her and before Wile E. can get rid of it, the bunny blows up too. Plan 4 has a UFO that homes in on targets and explodes. He sets it to rabbit, but Bugs wears a chicken mask to confuse it. He writes coyote on the side and sends it back. Now without his cave, Wile E. plans in an explosives shed. He fills carrots with nitroglycerin not realizing Bugs is towing him onto train tracks. Boom again! Giving up, he introduces himself to Bugs as mud. “And remember.” says Bugs. “Mud spelled backwards is dum.” (Well what do you know? It is!)

Personal Rating: 4

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Rabbit Hood

“Give my regards to da king, and da queen, and da jack, and da ten o diamonds.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

In Sherwood forest, (which is apparently enclosed in a wall?) Bugs is attempting to take a carrot. Wouldn’t you know it, he had to choose the only carrot patch that has alarms. The sheriff arrives and points out that they are the king’s carrots. There’s even a little stamp to prove it. Bugs tries to run, but Little John appears and tells of Robin Hood’s coming. This doesn’t happen and the sheriff is ready to have Bugs murdered. Bug says he sees the king coming and clubs the sheriff when he bows.

Later, Bugs runs into the king’s royal rose garden. When the sheriff points out that it is royal ground, Bugs agrees and talks the plot up to local lawman, tricking him into buying the land. The sheriff doesn’t realize he’s been had until he’s about halfway done with his new house. (That must have taken him 6 months as least.) Bugs is still yet to escape and the sheriff catches him again. Little John is back, and Bugs constantly introduces each of them to each other, giving him another chance to bolt. When the sheriff finally gets away, Bugs says the king is coming, again.

The sheriff initially doesn’t believe him, but Bugs sounds so earnest, that he eventually gives in and looks. It is indeed the king. (Bugs in disguise.) We never see the real king in this picture, but something tells me he’d find all this hilarious. The “king” decides to knight the sheriff and repeatedly clubs him with his scepter. The sheriff takes so long to fall, that Bugs has time to bake a cake for him to land in. (The sweetest way to be unconscious.) Little John appears again, but Bugs has had enough and demands that if Robin Hood is here, then he should show himself. A live action Errol Flynn arrives but Bugs just can’t believe his eyes. (“It couldn’t be him.”)

Personal Rating: 4

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To Beep or not to Beep

“Western Cookery”

Directed by Chuck Jones

A pretty late entry in the Roadrunner/Coyote series. (And the only one scored by Bill Lava.) The Coyote is looking at a cookbook and licking his chops at the thought of a Roadrunner dinner. His prey peeks at the book and also licks his li… beak. He “Beeps” the Coyote into a cliff. On to the gags!

Wile E sets up a snare, but misses and while pulling back on nothing, falls off a cliff. The rope grabs a rock and he ties it around his waist to be safe. He still hits the ground and then the rock lands on his head.  Then he just begins to chase. The Roadrunner puts on a burst of speed which uproots some cacti and makes a bridge recoil. The coyote falls and one of the cacti lands on him. He then attaches himself to a spring attached to a rock, in order to launch himself. The rock itself springs backwards and off a cliff. He holds on, and the rock recoils and he lands on a makeshift teeter-totter which then launches him again and he ends up trapped in between a narrow space. He unstraps himself and hits the ground. (Interestingly enough, Jones wanted to do a whole short based on this one gag.)

After failing with a wrecking ball, we get to the main gag of this short: a catapult that refuses to work. After five tries of launching a rock (and getting smashed by it) Wile E. pulls the string from inside a manhole. Nothing happens. He cautiously does more and more to the device but nothing happens. Not until he’s jumping on the rock does it finally launch. He realizes this a little too late and goes through a cliff face, lands in some telephone wires, gets launched back to the catapult, flung to the ground, and crushed under the rock. Why was it so faulty? We zoom in and see where it came from: The Roadrunner manufacturing Company.

Personal Rating: 3

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Odor-able Kitty

“Come to my arms little pigeon. Do not be afraid of the love.”

Directed by Chuck Jones

A cat is staring longingly into a butcher shop. He is kicked away. A woman then hits him with her broom. (What was that for? I mean, yeah, I’d do the same thing to a cat.) He is also mauled by a bulldog. He sadly wishes he were a skunk. Nothing bothers those guys. So why not? Not only does he paint himself like one, but he is actually smart enough to rub Limburger, onions and garlic on himself. He goes around scaring his enemies and eating meat to his heart’s content.

Just when things are perfect and “syrene”, a real skunk appears. It’s Pepe’s first role! (His name is based on Pepe le Moko, a character played by Charles Boyer. His voice was what Mel used to base Pepe’s voice on.) He confuses the male cat for a female skunk and the chase begins. Formulaic? Yes. Boring? You insult me! The cat hides in a tree and is instantly found so he runs into town. Taking a stuffed skunk with him. (Okay, I’m pretty sure that people who wear furs, do not keep the whole body. I HOPE they don’t do that.) He hides on a silo and when Pepe comes, the cat (who I’m deciding to name Theodore) says that he will jump if Pepe comes closer. (I guess Theodore’s voice is feminine.)

He throws the decoy and tries to sneak away. Pepe only pretends to mourn and Theodore leaps into a dog’s arms in fright. He then leaps into Pepe’s arms. He hops back to the dog and the dog hops into Pepe’s arms before fainting. Pepe continues on his way and meets Bugs Bunny! Or rather Theodore in a disguise. (Pepe’s sharp.) Theodore runs and Pepe follows with his famous hops. Theodore is tired and passes out quickly. Pepe grabs his prize when he is tapped on his shoulder. It’s his REAL wife. Pepe is really Henry, (not the bear or hawk) and gets pounded by a rolling pin. Theodore sneaks away and washes away his disguise. He happily goes back to is old life of being abused.

Personal Rating: 3

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Rabbit Punch

“Hey, ya big palooka! Why don’tcha pick on somebody your own size?”

Directed by Charles M. Jones

Unlike “Bunny Hugged” which was about wrestling, this earlier short was about boxing. It’s the first appearance of the Crusher. (Although here he’s called “Battling Mcgook”) He is pounding his opponent with no effort whatsoever. However, watching from the edge of the stadium, (which was built outdoors, is that smart?) is Bugs, who objects to the cheers and demands “Mcgook” pick another fight.

The man chooses Bugs, and throws him into the ring. They both show off their muscles. Mcgook is so strong he has muscles on his muscles. Bugs has two tiny bumps for biceps. (For the record though, that’s way better than mine.) The champ punches Bugs around until Bugs gets one in by “fainting” his opponent. Next, the champ builds a brick wall around his fist and really knocks him one. Bugs grabs the microphone from the announcer and begins narrating his own idea of how the fight is going. Mcgook follows his lines exactly.

Later, they decide to wrestle (I guess) as they throw off their gloves. (Bugs was hiding horseshoes. Clever b*stard.) The champ… screw it, I’m calling him Crusher, easily puts him in a leghold. Bugs breaks a board and Crusher thinks he broke his leg. Bugs disguises himself as a doctor and wraps him up tight in bandages. During round 31, crusher pours grease in Bug’s resin. Bugs uses this to his advantage and skate/boxes. During round 48 Bugs gives Crusher some exploding popcorn. During round 73, he has Crusher hold a slingshot and fires something at his face. During round 98, (how long do these usually last?) Crusher and Bugs both launch themselves towards each other, in a cannon and bow respectively.

Finally, during round 110 Crusher has Bugs tied to railroad tracks and prepares to run a train over him. (He should wear that conductor outfit more.) Bugs seems to have run out of tricks as the train gets closer and closer and all he can do is sweat. Then the film breaks. Bugs comes out to apologize and (while holding scissors) mention that the film didn’t EXACTLY break.

Personal Rating: 3