Mexican Boarders

“When do we eat? I’m hungry.”

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1962

In this short Sylvester chases Speedy through the house of J. C. Mendelez. (Him again? Sylvester! Don’t associate yourself with the man who voiced snoopy. Okay, I’m harsh. Let’s just take out his vocal cords and call it good.) Nautarally, Speedy is too fast to catch, and Sylvester wears himself out just by climbing the stairs. There is a knock at the door. Why, it’s none other than Slowpoke Rodriguez! Haven’t seen him since “Mexicali Shmoes.” If you translate his song, you find out he’s singing about a cockroach who lacks marijuana. (Don’t you dare say he’s an evil stereotype. From what I hear, he’s very popular in Latin America. ) Turns out he’s Speedy’s cousin and the cat gleefully lets him in. Slowpoke lives up to his name and plods in. (I like his hat. It changes color with every step he takes.) Speedy grabs him in the nick of time and brings him back to his hole. Slowpoke wants food. (Also, he’s not voiced by Mel. It’s a man named Tom Holland. Who I’m 96% sure is not the same Tom Holland who directed “Childs Play) Speedy offers to get it as he is faster. He brings back some sustenance. He forgot the tobasco sauce though and races back. While he’s getting the sauce, Sylvester puts some glue on the ground. Speedy comes back, and Sylvester’s trap actually works. He grabs the mouse, but really should have removed the sauce as it gets poured down his throat. Slowpoke has enjoyed the food, and wonders about dessert. (Speedy remarks about his appetite with “Holy frijoles!” which translates to holy beans. Is this a common expression in Mexico?) Sylvester has set up a net which Speedy rushes through. When the cat tries it, he is cubed. That night, Slowpoke is hungry again. I don’t know if he’s trying to let Speedy rest or if Speedy is refusing to go out, but Slowpoke decides to head out himself. Speedy tells him not to, but Slowpoke admits that he is slow. (Not that way. I meant speed wise) Still, he is not helpless. (Remember his gun?) Sylvester grabs him but Slowpoke has a different tatic. (Perhaps Peta told him to stop shooting cats?) Making a face that I will undoutedly see in my nightmares, he hypnotizes the feline. (Unlike in the Pokemon games, this slowpoke can learn hypnosis. Come to think of it, don’t girls have this power too? I mean no dissrespect but, I’m pretty sure that if a woman makes that face, the male she is looking at shuts up and obeys her.) Now under his control, Sylvester is forced to fan the mice as they have another feast.

Personal Rating: 3

The Pied Piper of Guadalupe (And a summary of my vacation)

“Don’t go Armando! No! Don’t go!”

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1961

Hello again one and all! I, Dr. Foolio, have returned from my trip. Normally I wouldn’t bother telling you about it on a blog that is focused on Warner Brothers animation, but a fan requested I speak. I’m still getting used to the fact I have a fan(s), so I figure a quick summary couldn’t hurt. I just went to southern Utah. Nice place. Very Warm. Pretty Dry. Hotel was okay. It had a bed, that’s all I needed. I don’t watch tv. Although “Cloudy with a chance of meatballs” was on, but I can’t watch that anymore. It reminds me of someone who I worry about every day. My family and I had either Ice cream or frozen custard every day. We saw “Shaun the sheep” Nice movie. Funny, heartwarming, for lack of a better term, cute. We ate at my favorite place, Olive garden. (That same person really loves their chicken and gnocchi soup…) We hiked and found a pool of tadpole shrimp. (To be fair, my dad found it and said they were tadpoles. I believed him. Some frogs live in deserts. But after awhile I looked closer and saw they were crustaceans. Back at home I showed my dad a picture in one of my books proving that when it comes to animals I’m always right.) We also saw a musical. It was called “When you wish” The plot was simple. A girl goes to bed and dreams about various Disney songs. They had songs from movies you’d expect. The little mermaid, Beauty and the beast, Aladdin, and Marry Poppins. And some from less known films. (Tarzan, Pochahontas, Hercules, Newsies) They did not sing the entirety of “Be our guest”, “I’ll make a man out of you”, or “zero to hero” which are my favorite songs from their respective films, and for whatever reason, Baloo was dressed as Uncle Remus. (?) But it was enjoyable over all. (Although, is it racist to have African Americans play gorillas?) Okay, that’s enough. Let’s get this blog back to the topic it’s meant to be about.

Another Academy nominee? Speedy sure got a few of those didn’t he? So what did it lose to? (google search) A Croatian short where everything is infalatable? At least that sounds creative. I should view it sometime. Sylvester it seems, has really lost his touch. He can’t catch any mice. They’re fast and they carry demeaning signs and smack him with planks. Thinking in front of a book sale, (one of which is apparently written by storyman Warren Foster) he spies a copy of the Pied Piper. Surely the same thing would work on mice as well as rats. After taking some lessons from J.C. Mendelez, (animator who worked on Fantasia. cool. also voiced snoopy. I hate that excuse for a dog. But you probably knew that already) he gets dressed up to play the part and begins to play his flute. The mice laugh at his attemps, but soon stop when it works. They can’t help but dance over to him, where he knocks them out and places them in his jug. Even tying their tails to a stake can’t hold them back and soon they’re all captured. Save one. Speedy is still there. (Did he not hear the music?) He asks for the gato to release his friends or Speedy will rescue them. Underestimating him again, (Sylvester! You have to stop doing that.) he opens the jug and Speedy makes good of his word. Sylvester plays the flute and Speedy dances over onoly to smack him with a mallet. (Why is Speedy immune? That’s not fair) Sylvester ditches his cute outfit and hides in a barrel with some dyanmite. Speedy rolls the barrel along which ends up trapping Sylvester in the container with a lit explosive and a dog. He gets a motorcycle and chases the mouse, who stops short at a cliff and lets the cat careen over the edge. Sylvester eventually gets out, but Speedy next leads him into a collision with a bus. Sylvester has no choice but to go to the “El Gato Infirmary” and get some casts on his broken bones. Speedy points out he dropped his flute. (“Don’t you want heem?” No, I don’t want “heem”.”) He tells Speedy he can have it. The mouse plays and Sylvester is forced to dance after him on his broken foot. (That’s harsh.)

Personal Rating: 3

Cannery Woe

“I don’t he like us also, too.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. (Not. One. Word.) Released in 1961

In what I think is the mouse version of the slums, two mice wake up. As is typical of Speedy shorts, (is that a spoiler?) they have the names of Manuel and Jose. They are hungry, and I guess there either is no food for them, or they are just lazy; because they list off a bunch of people who don’t like them anymore instead of deciding on where/what to eat. But it appears to be their lucky day! Mayor Raton, (Spanish for mouse) is holding a fiesta to encourage others to reelect him. He’s even giving away free cheese for everyone. Except our main characters. They are kicked out. (Hypocrite) Despite the fact they are unwelcome, they watch from atop a wall and show their support anyway. The mayor calls for the cheese committee to bring out the goods. They look like they’ve been to war. It turns out there is a new addition to the store where they have always gotten cheese. Namely a cat. All is lost! (American mice would go on anyway. And then be eaten. Patriotic pride is no match for Mother Nature.) Jose and Manuel somehow get in without being thrown out and offer to help. Seems they know of a very fast mouse who left Jose with a whistle to blow if he is ever needed. (Speedy would turn 8 this year. He’s still not more well known in his country?) They will call him if they are granted their demands. (Which are whispered.) The mayor (and his nose that turned tan for a slight second) agrees and Speedy is summoned. Speedy goes to the store where Sylvester once again, underestimates him. Speedy runs through his legs and tears some fur off. (“Speedy was here!”) And again on his way out. (“Also here!”) Sylvester lays some tacks down. Speedy goes around and the cat runs through them after him. (Twice.) He gets stuck lighting a cannon, but Speedy helps by pulling the cord. The cannonball somehow doesn’t hit Sylvester as it is fired but lands on his head. Sylvester sets up many mousetraps inside, but ends up cornering himself. Speedy tosses a ping-pong ball at them which sets them all off. Having brought back enough cheese, the Mayor is true to his word and grants Jose and Manuel their request. To be the official cheese judges. As for Speedy? He gets to be the chick inspector. (What does that even mean? Does he judge the females on how attractive they are and refuses the ugly ones the right to stay? Who knows. Men. For the third time)

Personal Rating: 3

We regret to inform those who come by, that there will not be a new update next week. I’ll be going on a trip. We will resume afterwards. Stay Looney.

Here Today, Gone Tamale

“Shut up, your cheese trap!”

Directed by Friz Freleng.  Relaeased in 1959.

At the Mexican docks, all the mice are having a hard time surviving. There’s no cheese and they are starving. (Gee, it’s a shame. Considering, that mice can eat just about everything that is edible.) It’s gotten so bad, that they are even dreaming about the stuff. But wait! It’s not a dream! An honest to goodness, boat full of cheese is docking. The run up happily and run back down scared. There’s a one Sylvester the cat on board guarding it all. It’s hopeless. One mouse prepares to do himself in. (It works as a joke, because of his companion’s blatant lack of respect for him.) Well, hold that trigger, compadre! Speedy Gonzales has agreed to help out with the situation. Sylvester is shocked to see the mouse is fast enough to run right by and back. He actually gets Speedy in a net, but is dragged around the ship. Speedy also locks him in a room full of Limburger. Good thing there was a coat hanger in there, or he would have died. Then in a surprising move, Sylvester agrees to share with the mice. (And he actually refers to Speedy by name. I’m pretty sure that never happened again.) Actually, he’s hiding a hammer behind his back. Speedy is too fast though, and Sylvester mallets his hand. He sets up a guillotine for Speedy, but the mouse enters another way. The cat chases him under the blade. (He forgot all about it.) Blocking the way onto the ship, he leaves a pipe that leads to his mouth. Speedy drags him around again, this time in a rather painful looking way. He eventually rips right through Sylvester’s tail. Having saved the mice, they all have a grand time dancing. Sylvester reckons that since he couldn’t beat them, he should join them, and he joins in wearing a big pair of mouse ears. The mice are nice enough to accept him. (Or maybe they don’t but the short ends here anyway)

Personal Rating: 3

Mexicali Shmoes

“I’m too young to go, kaboom!”

Directed by Friz Freleng, Released in 1959

Another Academy Nominee! (It lost to a short called “Moonbird.”) Our story begins with two cats. The slightly chubby one is Jose, and the lanky one is Manuel. Speedy runs by pretty much just to taunt them, and Manuel pounces. Speedy naturally, escapes. Jose tells him there’s no point to chasing him, you need brains. Manuel is lakcing in that department, but it’s fine. Jose has enough for both of them, and they set out to get some supper. Arriving at Speedy’s place, they invite him out to join their fiesta. Speedy does so, and easily outmaneuvers them when they start trying to take a whack at him. He hides on Manuel and Jose crushes his compadre and misses the mouse. Plan B. Trying something that he saw “That gringo Bugs Bunny” do in a moving picture, he baits a fishing pole with cheese. (I’ve seen every Bugs short at least once, and I don’t recall that) Speedy takes the bait, and drags Jose to L.A. Much later he returns telling Manuel that his sister said hello. (Manuel: “Hello, sister”) They stuff some dynamite in and wait for the explosion. Speedy sneaks behind them and blows up a bag. They rush off, where Jose shows his true colors. He meant to eat Speedy all by himself. (I think this would have been better as the last gag, but whatever. It’s a good one) They tussle, but Jose wins. Peeking in, he sees they’ve been tricked. He goes back to Manuel to apologize… and tell him that Speedy is rightfully his. Manuel gets a face full of explosive. They plant some land mines, but end up chasing Speedy through it. Jose is terrified, but Manuel apparently knows where they buried them all, (Under those dirt mounds?) and carries his pal to safety. (I guess not. He stepped on one) Getting out, he sets Jose down on one of them. Jose returns the favor. They give up. Manuel suggests they go after the slowest mouse in all Mexico, Slowpoke Rodriguez. Jose excitedly goes to the place and grabs the pokey rodent. Manuel tries to tell him something else, but its too late. Slowpoke may be slow, but he’s not defenseless. He packs a gun. And he uses it too.

Personal Rating: 3

Tortilla Flaps

“What for you steal my supper for?”

Directed by Robert McKimson. (Yes, I know. Freleng wasn’t the only one to use Speedy after the mouse won an oscar) Released in 1958

Some sort of fiesta is going on in Mexico. (One kids seems to fly away on a balloon) Even the mice are having a good time, setting up some sort of carnival. One of the highlights is watching Speedy play against himself in ping-pong. Up in the sky however, there are hungry eyes watching. It’s a bird known as Senor Vulchurro-I’m sorry, Vulturo. (Am I the only one who really wants another Viva Pinata game? There could be an Underwater garden. I’m sure the people at Rare are reading this. They obviously aren’t using their time to make better games) He comes down for lunch, causing the mice to scatter. He very nearly catches one, but Speedy beats him to it and leaves a fire cracker for the bird instead. (Despite his name, he doesn’t look like a vulture. More like a crow. A green crow. Maybe he’s a jackdaw?) He naturally gives chase. Speedy leads him onto some train tracks where he is flattened by a train. And then a handcart. Speedy tells him that he is too fast for him, but offers to lead him to a fat mouse that is sure to be a treat. The bird follows as Speedy leads him to a mousehole. The bird crashes his head above the entrance and cracks his skull. Opting for using his brains instead of wings, the bird sets up a ball and cup game, (do those even have a name?) that has been dunked in nitroglycerin. It seems that Speedy would have fallen for it, had the bird not left his leg in sight. Speedy plays along and learns that this game is from his very own Lupe. (Being Speedy, he wonders which Lupe sent it) He begins to toss it over the cup to himself and back. Vulturo gets fed up and tries to show him. Speedy grabs the ball and asks if the bird gives up. He refuses. Speedy drops the ball. The bird accepts. As his punishment, he must take place in some of the carnival games. And I do mean take place. One side has mice throwing balls at his head, and the other has them throwing darts at his butt.

Personal Rating: 3

The Stupid Cupid

“Ahhh, I love you! I want to marry you!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

It must be Valentines Day in this short, because Cupid is joyously spreading love. I bet you didn’t know Elmer was cupid, did you? (His laughs are not supplied by the usual Arthur Q. Bryan, but rather by a one Frank Graham.) But this cupid doesn’t really seem to care about matching the right creatures together. Sure, he has a bird immediately grab a mate, (and build a house) and gets a stallion to jump out of his shoes, for a mare but he also has a dog fall for the cat he was about to eat. (The cat proceeds to shoot his nine lives away.) So, I guess Cupid’s a mad shipper.

Either way, Daffy is next on his agenda. But Daffy is not happy to see Cupid again. Yes, they have a history. Apparently the year before, Daffy was shot by one of Cupid’s love darts, (And I don’t mean the kind used by snails.) and ended up being shot gun married and having some ducklings. Yes, one has two heads. (You didn’t think Duckman was completely original did you?) Daffy uses Cupid’s bow to launch him away, but Cupid just giggles it off. He prepares a monstrous arrow and manages to hit the duck. The first creature that Daffy spots is (9, 10) a big fat hen.

He happily starts trying to hit on her. Emily (that’s really her name, I didn’t have to make one up this time.) is no whore, and runs away. Eventually, Daffy finds her in a closet and begins smooching. This would be a terrible time for Emily’s husband to show up. Just then, Emily’s husband shows up, and pries them apart. (Emily looks a little too calm kissing Daffy.) The rooster (let’s call him…Rocko) gets ready to pummel the duck when Daffy comes to his senses. He explains that it was Cupid’s fault and apologizes stating he’s a family man as well. (Bringing his family in for a cameo to prove it) Rocko is a kind soul, and forgives the duck letting him go.

Daffy is grateful and doesn’t notice Cupid is still out there. One shot later, and he jumps in between the chicken’s make out session. (And it fades out rather quickly. Apparently there was an original ending where Daffy said, “Don’t knock it till you try it!” Sorry Daffy, that’s not what I think of when I picture a hot chick.)

Personal Rating: 4

Porky’s Poultry Plant

“He-He-Here ch-ch-ch-ch-chick ch-ch-chick!”

Directed by Frank Tash. (His first for Warner Bros.)  Released in 1936

At the titular plant, a rooster rousts everyone out of bed. Porky included. He sets to work taking care of his birds. (This scene becomes less precious when you remember WHY poultry is raised. Sorry for ruining your happiness.) He has many chickens, ducks and geese and they are very hungry. Porky satisfies their cravings by giving them corn. One chick just can’t fight the rush. Porky pretends to throw a huge handful, and gives it all to the chick. He’s even willing to charm some worms out of the ground for the other chicks. Yes, it seems like nothing could ever go wrong here.

But sadly, Porky has lost several good hens. One was taken in June of 1936. (The same year Tashlin started at W.B) Another was named Dorothy. (Like Tashlin’s wife.) It seems they were all the victims of a hawk. (Looks more like an eagle to me.) Said hawk is actually cruising overhead, looking for tasty morsels. Porky rings the alarm and all the birds take cover. After the predator leaves, one hen realizes one of her chicks is missing. Yes it appears that the hawk did make off with little (lets call him) Chippy. Rather than letting nature take its course, Porky gets in his airplane and goes after him. Seriously though, if the hawk got the mother, than ALL the chicks would die.  (Yes, I am glad Porky is so devoted to his birds.)

He manages to shoot off the buteo’s tail feathers and this causes it to call for reserves. Many hawks arrive and torture Porky by pulling his tail, and dropping eggs on him. (Uhhhhhh… That’s like a human… never mind. I’m not going there.) The battle goes into a cloud, where the birds get Porky’s gun away from him. They shoot and Porky goes down. All’s good though, he crashes into a windmill and gets a brand new propeller. Then for the best part: they start a game of football WITH the chick! (That is hilarious, cruel, and adorable all at once.) The rooster (Ted Pierce) narates everything.

After a few passes, one of the hawks fumbles. Porky gets Chippy back and expels some exhaust for the hawks to fly into. I don’t know if it kills them or knocks them out, but as they fall, the hens dig a hole for them to fall into, and bury them. So, they’re definitely dead now. Porky returns Chippy to his mother and all is well. OR IS IT? A shadow flies over the plant, sending the hen into hysterics. Porky readies his gun, but all IS well. The shadow belonged to the weather vane.

Personal Rating: 4

Booby Hatched

“Who turned off the heat?”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

You know what this Sunday is? If you don’t then go look at a calendar.

Sorry. That was rude. (You may not even have a calendar.) It is Mother’s day. And one of the sweetest things to me, is the relationship between mother and child. How they are willing to die for them, and how the child sees the mother as essentially an almighty superhero, who can protect them from anything. I’m rambling. Let’s talk about a short dealing with such love.

It’s winter, and a duck (with teeth) is desperately trying to hatch some eggs. (She also has no name. I shall call her Ethel.) It is really cold, and the eggs have begun to turn blue. (The father was a smurf.) She holds them up to a light to see inside, and finds the soon to be ducklings sneezing, warming themselves by a stove, skating and skiing. (At least they’re not dead.) She does her best to keep them warm, but the poor things are below subzero! Time for drastic measures.

As much as it pains her, Ethel sticks her rump right up to a lantern. She’s in agony, but a true mother won’t let her children die, if she can help it. When she’s done, she goes over. The eggs hatch before she sits down. (“Don’t do it! We’ll come out.”) I guess it’s warmer outside than in an egg, so the new family heads down to the pond for a swim. Uh Oh! One egg didn’t hatch all the way. Craving warmth, the egg with legs goes off to find his mother. Ethel meanwhile, is doing a head count and finds that her little Robespierre (such a great name for any generation) is missing.

Finding his footprints, she follows them into the woods. Robespierre is nearly dead, but finds his mom wearing a fur coat. (A bear.) And he slips under “her.” The bear takes it rather well. (“So I laid an egg.”) But this was all seen by a hungry wolf. Wait, is that William? No, his mailbox says he is known as B. B. (So he’s a transvestite. Because Bebe? Forget it) He uses some TNT to blow the bear off, and happily takes his prize home. The bear takes it rather well. (“Dreams like this, worry me, ya know.”) B.B. runs into Ethel on his way back, and the two keep swiping Robespierre from the other. Eventually, Ethel gets home with a doorknob.

B.B. is preparing some egg drop soup, when Ethel returns and pokes his eyes through the key hole. She then rescues her son. Is he grateful? Heck no, he was finally getting warm. He dives back in.

Personal Rating: 3

I Got Plenty of Mutton

“Ohhh my precious…BAAA!”

Directed by Frank Tashlin.  Released in 1944

It’s a little late to say this, but it is the year of the sheep according to the lunar new year calendar. So let’s talk about a sheep short, shall we?

Due to an O.P.A. ruling, there is no meat for wolves. A crisis, seeing as how they are carnivores. One fellow, tries to make the best of his situation and sets some water to boil. This wolf (who I shall call William) makes sure no one watches as he grabs a very precious ingredient for his soup. A single, tiny bone. He dunks it a few times and puts it back in his hiding place. Alas! While his back was turned, mice sipped every drop. William has no choice to adapt to a herbivorous diet.

While eating his steamed pea, he glances at the paper. What luck! A local sheepdog has left his herd to join the army. Easy pickins! William tosses his precious bone away and heads out. Look at all the tasty morsels. He dives in and finds himself face to face with a ram. Pulling out the paper again, William sees that the article went on to explain that a ram named Killer-Diller. (No relation to any “Thugs with dirty Mugs“) is now guarding the flock. (It even helpfully points out that the ram in front of him is Killer) The ram butts William away.

William in turn gets a box that’s just labeled “Costume.” Said costume is a ewe. (I guess it’s supposed to be sexy, but it freaks me out. Maybe if I was fleecy.) He pretties himself up and readies some weapons to take Killer down. Killer likes what he sees. There’s no other word for it: he’s horny. His horns even uncurl, point straight out, and turn red! (I feel a little uncomfortable seeing that.) He rushes over to whisper sweet nothings into “her” ear. William tries to club him, but the shock knocks his costume off. By “shear” luck though, he manages to get it back on and lures Killer to follow him. He drops a safe on the ram, but he pops right out to continue his session. (His hooves turn white briefly.)

William tries to fire a cannon, but Killer is in there too and continues to smooch the poor creature. William makes a run for it with Killer in hot pursuit. Later that night, William is still on the “Lamb” but he is getting tired, while Killer still has plenty of steam. Deciding it’s not worth it, William breaks the charade and tears the costume off, revealing he’s a wolf. Killer doesn’t mind: He’s one too! Figuratively! Iris out on the chase going off into the moonlight.

Personal Rating: 3