Category: Tex Avery

There was once a man who had an amazing idea: perhaps cartoons could be used to achieve the impossible?

Posted on

Johnny Smith and Poker-huntas

“Oh, agony!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Paul Smith; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 22, 1938.

I must be honest: I’m no expert on any people the title might or might not be parodying. I don’t think I even knew Pocahontas wasn’t a fictional character until I was at least ten. With all of that said, they aren’t animals, so I can’t tell you what actually happened. We cool?

A toast to the descendants of the Mayflower. All over-seven-nonillion of them. You see, it’s funny because I don’t think that many humans have even existed on planet Earth. I knew Fred Avery was capable of visiting the far future. Because I have photo evidence of him attending my sweet 16. No, you can’t see it.

There are pilgrims crossing the sea to reach America. Their captain is one Johnny Smith, but his bosses get to call him Egghead. He’s pretty proud of himself, because he’s in the process of making history and will be in books on the subject. Whether or not that is something to be proud of all depends with what you do with your life.

They’re not just making this voyage for religious reasons. America is quite the developed place by 1620. The local populace lives in teepees, yes, but they have motor vehicles, barber shops, and jokes based on stereotyping. What do they even need white men for? (But for real, the donkey with her own papoose is adorable. Babies are always cuter when you stuff them into something.)

The natives see the approaching ships, and notify their chief, No squat no stoop no squint. Quite the mouthful, that. How about changing your name to three nose? Less cruel than four eyes, right? (Yes, I did see part of his phone disappear. They truly are savages!) They’re ready to intercept their visitors. At least, let’s hope they’re just visitors.

Johnny and the crew stalk the forest with guns. It’s just for protection, really! You can’t be too careful when there are scalpers about. You seen the price of their tickets? The monetary cost is phenomenal, but you’ll lose your soul in the process. And that’s no good. Good thing Johnny is one of them! Alas, even if they share the same side-hustle, they will never be brothers. The chief gives chase, but this is a short film here! Gotta think of the feature film! A title card asks Johnny if it’s okay to cut the chase part out, and he’s cool with it. They were never going to catch him anyway.

So after they catch him, the jeering section demands he get the axe. (I’ll have to remember that one.) Even Johnny reminding them of his historical significance doesn’t sway them. And what was the point in evolving a line on the neck detailing where to put the killing blow if nobody is ever gonna use it? Can anyone save him? How about the second half of the title? She’s running out of appearance time.

Not to worry. She’s heard everything on the radio and drives out to save the guy. As is befitting of women drivers, she runs over the executioners. (I’m actually amazed they didn’t use a joke like that. Would that have just tipped the good taste scale too far?) They stop for a photo, and flee. As is befitting of executioners, they give them a ten-second head start. It’s all part of the fun, and they find this some fun indeed. They unanimously decide to keep doing it.

One of these days, they’ll give up the head start nonsense, and that’s when they’ll finally catch their escaped victims. It is not one of those days, yet. The runaways get back to the Mayflower, and escape to open waters, where there is no law. Finally, they share their first kiss. And after their marriage, they settled down in a nice house… somewhere, I’m sure. They read “The last of the Mohicans”, but they of all people know that isn’t true. You remember that creepypasta where Egghead was a character on “Baby Looney Tunes”? Well, you’re gonna hate me for this, but… I found the source!

Favorite Part: Poker starts to tell us that we don’t have to worry about their capture, because they’re getting away on a ship. Johnny chastises her for spoilers. I’m now remembering all the let’s play’s I’ve seen where the half of the duo playing wouldn’t let the blind half discover things. I’ll be wanting their apologies.

Personal Rating: 2. There is a bountiful feast of classic Avery goodness to go round, but the cultural appropriation makes it a bit harder to swallow these days. If you don’t have guilt over such jokes, enjoy your 3.

P.S. Since last week, I’ve seen a poor quality version of the “Coyote Vs Acme” trailer. Probably wasn’t supposed to have done that, but a reference to Michael Maltese and Chuck Jones? The 1812 overture? The return of Pete Lorry? I am not at all ashamed of what I did. I need Fred to loan me that time machine.

Posted on

Cross Country Detours

“I don’t care what you say; I’m cold.”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Paul Smith; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on March 16, 1940.

Ready for another dose of Avery gags? We’re giving you all we can this week as this short is just over nine minutes long! Egad! You’ll be gagging on such a gaggle of gags! That we can guarantee. What we can’t, is actually showing any animal life/scenic wonders of the U.S.A. But we will attempt, and that’s really all you should ask of anybody. What all of this means is: its not entirely “cross-country.” We’ll just stick to the west.

Starting off in California, at Yosemite National Park. (And just five years too early for a Sam cameo.) The daunting task of almost ten minutes of gags is already too scary, so we get a repeat of the human trying to feed an animal they shouldn’t. I think it was better before. Not just because I’d seen that one first, but I think a monkey violently throwing a bag of peanuts at a woman is more humorous than a bear hitting a man on the head. Check my math if you want, I’m correct.

There’s also a “shy deer” who flirts, (Somebody is in to that.) and a forest ranger always on the lookout for startings of fires. (Insert a joke about California and its fires here, but only if it’s tasteful.) He catches a scumhole tossing out a cigar and rushes to save both the forest and the smoke. He can’t afford better on his salary. Then, to Utah’s Bryce Canyon to see a natural bridge. It’s so gross when Nature doesn’t put her gums in a proper receptacle.

At the time of release, going to Alaska is technically leaving the country. Even though Fred already made a picture here, it wasn’t over nine minutes, so he had to cram some of its leftover jokes in. The “running” joke is a Husky seeing a road sign pointing out the miles to California. He sets out. We’d give him a ride, but we’ve already been there. And did anyone else see that smudge in the sky? That’s the beginning of climate change, I’m sure.

Back in the generic states, (which doesn’t mean boring; just the opposite of specific) we are shown footage of a bobcat stalking a baby quail. With adult plumage so the dumb audience won’t say something stupid like “That don’t look like a quail. Where’s the topknot?”  (I’ve held baby quail. I would know what they look like.) The narrator tries his darnedest to make us feel bad that Nature is hardcore survival all the time. If the chick isn’t eaten, the cat could die of starvation. Not everyone can be saved. But don’t worry, the Bob’ can’t go through with it. (Let’s give Mel an Oscar for this role. There really should be a “Best Voice Actor” category.)

Down to New Mexico. We see that dog again. Must’ve gotten lost, as getting here on a trip to Cali is a serious cross country detour. (Is that what the title meant?) But tell me narrator, why would his master be in Cali? What kind of a sicko just abandons a dog in Alaska? I need a real good gag to wash the taste out of my mouth. (Ironic choice of words, I know.) And the short delivers. Taking a very natural basic thing like a lizard shedding its skin, and making her sexy so she can do a strip-tease. (What are you censoring? She has no breasts!) It’s a great joke, but it makes me sad to know there are now people in this world who first saw it in “Rubberhose Rampage.” Probably the most creative, laziest-made game, I’ll admit, but give Avery’s unit the credit! All of it!

Speaking of lizards, the next bit is so scary, that the screen will be split into different age ranges. Adults can watch the gila monster on the left, while the children can watch Goldilocks‘s sister recite poetry on the right. Because heaven forbid we treat kids like people, and prepare them for a dangerous world full of reptiles that could possibly hurt you. Goldenrodlocks’s parents knew better, and she scares the beast away. Poor little guy.

Now on to Arizona and the Grand Canyon. A tourist tries to get an echo here, but fails. Good thing there’s always an operator on standby. And beavers build dams. Not beaver dams, but human dams. And they work great! See all that water? They dam it all. And the dog finally reaches California. He’s exhausted, but still makes the final stretch up to the northern part of it to finally reach paradise. Large, LARGE trees. And they’re all his. So if you know anything about dogs, then you know he’s gonna be bored very soon. Worth the trip?

Favorite Part: A frog croaking the hard way. Darkly funny on its own, but made better by the cartoon apologizing…

For the pun!

Personal Rating: 3

Posted on

A Day at the Zoo

“I want to see the D.A.!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Melvin Millar; Animation by Rollin Hamilton; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on March 11, 1939.

I’ve been eager to discuss this one as this was my favorite short film as a child. If you don’t already know why, then you probably don’t care. ANIMALS! My special interest! My first love! My closest thing I have to a talent! And since a zoo is just a bunch of animals in one convenient location, the nearest one was always my preferred field trip. Of course, many people really hate zoos. Calling them nothing more than prisons.  As someone who has worked in one, I can tell you that you’re wrong. And I’m glad that I can and you can’t. It’s just not how it works.

(Skip this paragraph if you want the cartoon synopsis.) First of, any real zoo isn’t allowed to just go capture animals out of their native habitat. That’s illegal. That was done in the past. If they get a new exhibit, it was either bred or transferred. With that said, they’re not really 100% wild animals anymore. Nor are they domestic. They’re in the middle. Fairly accustomed to humans, but not tame. So they need enrichment to keep their minds active. Any real zoo will make sure the animals have a spacious enclosure, and the aforementioned enrichment. And they’re meant to educate, so I see downside. Not my fault most people go to zoos for food.

High point of childhood time! Man, was I lucky that my grandfather had this short on VHS. Man, was I upset when the tape was lost. It’s Tex Avery spot gags at their finest! Maybe I’m nostalgia blind, but maybe I’m totally correct. Why wasn’t that your first guess? You know you’re in for a good time just by the the title of the zoo: Kalama. (And they respect your intelligence by not saying it aloud.) We start off with some jokes that I was too young to understand at first. To whit:

  • A wolf at his natural habitat: a door. (As a kid, I just figured this was in reference to the three little pigs.)
  • A pack of camels and the animals that smoke them. (I did get this one. And I loved it.)
  • A north American greyhound. (Can’t think of a better way to use fossil fuels!)
  • 2 bucks and five scents. (Cervine and mephitidae.)
  • 2 friendly elks. (Totally lost as a child. Not helped by the fact I thought the narrator said “elves.” I figured elves in a zoo was a kind of a joke.)

Okay, discussing the gags verbatim is not my style. Let’s see what kind of jokes are happening at the primate pavilion.

It’s a shame they haven’t put up that “Do not feed the humans” sign, but really how can the monkeys say ‘no’ when the little guys stand on their hind legs like that? They also need to fix their “Bonobo” sign. That is not a baboon. But what he is, is very intelligent. He’s figured out that human beings are a close relative of his. Putting some doubt in the zookeeper’s mind allows him to switch cage sides. Look how much happier he is! And one lady deliberately ignores the sign forbidding her to feed monkeys. (With bars that wide, the little guy can feed himself just fine.) He flings her offering back in her face asking the twit if she’s illiterate.

Egghead is playing running gag again, as he will later. Specifically, he’s teasing a lion. That’s just mean. That lion already has a crappy cage to call home (figuratively and most likely literally), is underfed, (those bones have no meat on them) and now has to deal with a little punk who dares to laugh at the king of the beasts? The narrator agrees with me and reprimands the squirt. Egghead stops while we’re focusing on him, but keeps coming back as it’s fun and not hurting himself. That should be good enough for everyone.

Now let’s take a peek at bird gags at the Tex Aviary. (You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to type that pun.) An owl who doesn’t seem aware that he’s supposed to be wise; (smarter than the idiots who put him in a cage of natural prey), and a parrot who turns down the offer of a cracker, requesting a beer. This is the funniest joke ever to a seven-year old. Parrots asking for beer really should be in every animated work. It really would have brightened up “Grave of the Fireflies.” And don’t forget your daily reminder that female ostriches have BROWN plumage. Their eggs containing a dozen chicken eggs; that’s accurate.

The zoo has just got an elephant in, but the express company that sent him still has his trunk. It’s horrifically funny. And speaking of, the next cage has some horrors from New Year’s inside. Seriously, why are pink elephants always so scary?

Horrifying!
A literal nightmare!
Actually don’t bother me until they become a highly detailed eye.
Not you. You’re one of the good ones.

Back in the day, I was immune because my grandfather’s copy was pretty poor quality. But I knew what they were! And I was wary!

There’s also a random bit where we see a guy who used to perform at a circus. He put his head in lion’s mouths. I guess he’s a keeper now? I mean, you could take him anywhere and he wouldn’t know where he was. Nothing from the shoulders up survived! Speaking of lions…

The old guy is napping peacefully. The narrator is pleased to see that Egghead must have finally gone home. The lion denies this, but taking a peek down his throat shows Eggy is going to be called there very soon. He still doesn’t sound remorseful.

Favorite Part: That ending. How can you doubt I love animals when I get immense pleasure from seeing them get back at the humans who wronged them? Egghead got what he deserved.

Personal Rating: 3. I don’t care if I am biased, I do think these are some quality jokes.

Posted on

The Crackpot Quail

“Good morning, neighbor!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Robert McKimson; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on February 15, 1941. (Can anyone tell me why searching for this cartoon brings up “The Haunted Mouse” as the first result? I admit it would be quite useful if I really meant to search for that one but typed in this one because I’m drunk on poster paint.)

Willoughby is inspired! It was that fateful billboard for Barko dog food that did it. That proud picture of a perfectly poised pointer will persuade any pooch to pick up pointing as a pastime. (Good thing, as the food sucks.) Willoughy is go going to track a quail. It’s not oddly specific because the title promised us one. I see it as a waste of time though. On the list of birds I’ve eaten, quail ranked at the bottom. Granted, the list is only five birds long, but it’s six if we can count turducken as a species.

He takes off and almost instantly crashes into a tree. Caught unawares, the camera keeps panning without him for three seconds. When hound and camera are reunited, a sound is heard! It’s a whistle if ever I’ve heard one. And not just any whistle; the whistle of a Odoltophoridae averyius, or the crackpot quail, to you. The males of this species have the topknot you’d expect a quail to have, but they don’t improve their status with the ladies much. In fact, the birds see them as a prime source of irritation, mainly because the feathers aren’t rigid, and droop into their faces. The whistling call they make is from their fruitless efforts in trying to blow it away.

Willoughby asks this little bird is he heard a sound that sounded like a whistle, but looks like a raspberry. You think there’s chicanery afoot? You’re very astute. Censorship aired its head in a unique fashion, that really insults everybody’s intelligence. For you see, the bird originally made raspberry-esque noises to keep the topknot up top. Observe.

The problem? I really don’t know. I mean, it doesn’t sound like flatulence to me. Maybe if you were horribly constipated, and had marshmallows crammed up your colon. I get more of a broken kazoo vibe. Maybe it’s because Willoughby’s sounds so much more proper? But if we changed that one, we’d have to edit them all? Personally, I think it should have been left alone. You want a rude noise? A phlegm snort will satisfy that disturbing craving.

The quail is Cracky! Naming characters is why anyone comes here. There is someone on this planet who saw this short in theaters and wished someone would christen the quail. I’m here for you. He’s kind of a Bugs wannabe, what with being another woodland creature and calling the dog “doc”. He’s just not very screwy if I’m being honest. He doesn’t have a wacky laugh, or manic tendencies, or anything that suggests he’d bother you if you didn’t bother him first. Shouting that he is a quail in the dog’s ear after he accused him of such is the craziest he goes. It’s a good thing there’s good jokes here. And hey, why not a quail? Quail is fun to say!

And when Willoughby tries to give chase, he crashes into “Another tree.” What’s an Avery flick without a running gag? “Page Miss Glory!” (Feet discoloration.) The tracking leads into a pond where the bird is found swimming amongst the fish. He makes good gag use of his plume, using it as both a periscope and a windshield wiper upon exiting the water. (Why does Tex like having his dog chase prey underwater? Is he confusing him with a freshwater dogfish again?)

When Cracky looks to be in an inescapable situation, he gets rid of Willoughby by starting a game of fetch. I love that dog’s run cycle. Notice how his hing legs stretch over his head with every bound? I could watch a two hour loop of that. When he realizes he’s been had, he makes his maddest, most furious dash yet. Cracky makes a sharp turn, and the longest skid in animation history takes place. (Go ahead and disprove me if you can. I won’t be too upset.) We don’t really see the skid in action, but we do see all the damage it caused. Ending up with a pile of “lots of trees.”

Favorite Part: Willoughby’s angry barks are funny enough, what with being gruff readings of ‘ruff’ but it gets even better when he asides to us “That means that I’m getting pretty sore.”

Personal Rating: 3. Maybe if Cracky had a more developed personality he could have been remembered as one of the great one shots.

Posted on

The Bug Parade

“This is hard to believe, isn’t it?”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Dave Monahan; Animation by Rod Scribner; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on October 11, 1941.

You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you? My reputation as a zoologist precedes me by this, my 762nd post. You expect it. You demand it. You’re holding my keyboard at gunpoint until I comply. *groan* I hate doing predictable jokes. All right! ALL RIGHT! *sigh*………………………………..

That title bugs me. Happy? There’s actually zero bugs featured in today’s short, despite what the title promises. At least the narrator uses the more appropriate term, “insects.” But I still don’t trust him. You’re lucky you have a friend like me who suffers from correctile dysfunction. If it’s not an insect, I won’t let you ignore the slip up.

So, spot gags again. Like a children’s joke book got animated to life, and the first chapter was about houseflies. Or as the cartoon correctly refers to, Musca domestica. I’m already being lulled into a false sense of security. Makes me willing to laugh at the weak joke about the fly’s feet being literal suction cups. Or…

………………………………………………………..

*sigh* The scariest freaking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

Yes, I’ve alwsys suffered from a mild case of ommetaphobia. It wasn’t the pink elephants making it hard for me to watch “Dumbo”! So, while I appreciate the short finding a way to illustrate that a housefly eye is more akin to many smaller eyes, why do they have to be drawn in a semi-realistic style? Giving the usually toothless insect a mouth of teeth is just making the uncanny levels higher. I think… I think I’ll go have a bit of a lie down.

Let’s move away from flies. (Heh. As if we could.) Let’s make a joke about wasps. Ooh, so close with the Latin. It’s Vespula, not Vespa. Notice her slim figure. A very narrow abdomen that pinches off of her thorax. It’s really quite sexy. Until her girdle bursts of course, revealing her as either a cute bee, or an obese wasp. (Vespula girthica. The only insect species with breasts.) Then, speaking of bees, they act like a queen bee is its own species. But yes, she would be the one laying the eggs. You’ve earned a treat.

Then, what I was dreading this whole time: a gag about a spider. An animal that never was, and never will be an insect. Oh, it has six legs? Then I guess they have me on a technicality. Too bad they’ve given up with the scientific names by this point; devolving into pure jokes. Makes me wonder if the earlier mistakes were actually intentional. They probably were, and I’m just too uptight about these things. Or, much more likely, I’m a misunderstood genius who doesn’t get his @$$ kissed enough. Not sure which one I prefer.

We get our usual fireflies looking nothing like actual fireflies bit, a moth being attracted to a flame because he wants to prevent fires, and another sentence that makes no sense to anyone majoring in zoology. Did he really just say that a myriapod is an insect? Ow, my every cubic inch of my centipede loving heart! It really burns. And I know I’m not revealing many punchlines. I’ll make it up to you with another coloring error: the centipede’s mouth. Oh, and I do have to give more credit to their depiction of a lou- I’m sorry, cootie. Yeah, bet you didn’t know that they were real, did you? I like how its legs look like the grasping claws it should have.

Hmmm… Nope! I don’t see a snail appearing in a short that was named after bugs, but then was mentioned it would be about insects, and now has been showing other arthropods. Clearly, we’re meant to see the parasitic fly larvae that resemble buck teeth. As for the silkworms, I don’t see why they are so butt-hurt about humans switching to nylon. Don’t they know that we kill them when we harvest their silk? Priorities, kids. As for their ant jokes, I’m lost on the one where a red and black ant politely say hello to one another. Is the joke that they didn’t fight to the death? Is it that they have male voices when the lack of wings suggests they’re female? Is it just a subversion of our expectations since they aren’t speaking in stereotypical African American and Native American voices?

Our last gag is probably the best one. It’s about the marbled orb weaver spider; an arachnid that comes complete with villain mustache and Billy Bletcher voice. He announces that he loves little flies, and lowers himself down to one. And can you really blame him? She is a rather fetching fly, at that. Only two eyes, pouty kissable lips, luscious lashes… Almost makes it hard to notice the spider grew another four limbs. I guess he was really a spider crab the whole time.

Favorite Part: There was real effort in those scientific names. Even if they were unintentional mistakes, people were clearly doing research. I have to commend them.

Personal Rating: Well, it’s a 1 for me because I can’t turn my zoologist mindset off. You probably don’t have this problem, but I can’t rate it higher than a 2. Maybe Avery should stick to phony travelogues for his gag pictures. And… HEY! FRED? WHERE ARE YOU FLEEING TO? You’re not leaving forever… are you? I swear I was just jesting!

Posted on

Dangerous Dan McFoo

“What a pretty GIRL, WOW!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Rich Hogan; Animation by Paul Smith; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on July 15, 1939.

When done right, parodies are tons of fun! Such is the case with this picture. You don’t even have to know what’s being parodied to enjoy your self. So… does that actually make it a failure as a parody? I don’t mean to besmirch you, Tex! It’s just a talent I have.

Now, the Malibu Saloon may seem silent, but that’s an untrue fact.  If you don’t blink then you will catch the patrons’ whooping act. I wouldn’t doubt that any of them are hounds of hell, since everyone is an anthropomorphic canine. Our titular character is a gambling Dan who’s playing a game of pachinko. His voice is what we in the biz like to call comedy gold that you should really create a character for. I say we take that Egghead character who just barely had his last appearance, and develop him into a new vessel for these golden pipes. It’ll get gweat wesults!

Then, out of the night, and out of the cold, and into our humble saloon, there stumbled a dirty dog type guy, who really makes this ‘toon. Oh, man. I don’t know who this guy is, or what brought him here or how he takes his coffee, but I’m instantly in love with him. You shouldn’t inherently think Tourette syndrome is funny, but you don’t have much of a choice here. It’s like Dan Backslide as a furry, and how could you say no to that? Since we have a one Dan limit in here, I’m calling him Don Barkslide.

Even if we don’t know his tale, we know what he’s here to do. He’s got his eyes fixated on Dan’s lady, known as Sue. The spitting image of Bette Davis! You don’t see it? Just squint a little… there you go! But he’ll have to settle for being friends at best because she’s loyal to Dan. Don isn’t impressed with the twerp, even when with his feebly hilarious roars. This calls for a referee! He tells the two to settle this like…men,(?) with a little boxing. When you work with THE Tex Avery, you realize that no gag is too outlandish if it works for the scene. Thus, a street car that constantly pokes in to act as the bell.

With the crowning cry of a ringside bell, the match begins in earnest, and the combatants go to town in a frightful, whirling dervish. Dan may not look like it at fifth glance, but he’s a pretty even match for Don. None of them seem to take any lasting harm by the time round one is over. (Dan McFoo for “Punch Out!!”) After a refreshing shave, Don is ready to win. (I know what I typed.) He ain’t kidding around no more. He’s quick to turn Dan into a literal punching bag. Dan, in turn, proves he’s the bigger…man(?) by calling him out for cheating. That’s not just horseshoes in that glove, that’s a horse.

Their anger is near to bursting, just like a pent-up flood, let’s continue with the fight and see if they draw blood. Round 3 is typically where the best action happens, and we are fortunate enough to have a cartoon willing to pause itself to let us see the best bits. But they’re still evenly matched, and worse yet, innocent bartenders are getting caught in the crossfire. The narrator decides to get involved and gives the combatants some pistols. Finally, a guarantee that at least one of them will die.

The lights arbitrarily go out, we get a “scream” from Sue, when lit once more one… man(?) is down, it’s dangerous Dan McFoo. Sue begs and pleads for him to say one thing to her; prove that he’s all right. I think his simple “hewwo” suffices. (Me personally, I’d be begging for Don to speak again. He didn’t get nearly enough lines.)

Favorite Part: Don all the way. Louder doesn’t inherently mean funnier. Unless you’re Mel Blanc.

Personal Rating: 3 that I probably should call a 4. Actually, yeah. I’ll change it to a 4. But most of that was earned by Don.

Posted on

Fresh Fish

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Jack Miller; Animation by Sid Sutherland; Music by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on November 4, 1939.

Well, the mice were a cute experiment, but let’s discuss more about what Avery really made a name for himself with: his blackout gag shorts. However, I’ll admit this isn’t one of his best ones. Simply because it’s full of fish puns. The same fish puns you’ve been hearing since you were in the womb. (Except maybe the one where a fish has five dollar bills for fins. It’s too old.) The fish comments made in Animal Crossing are fresher material! But maybe I’ve just heard them one time too many. You might not have. Yet.

We’re going on a glass bottomed boat ride and we’re all gonna like it! It is the best way to view the wonders of the water world, the scariest things to ever exist on Earth, the guys and gals with the gills, let’s hear it for the ichthyoids! While we enjoy the sights and tolerate the puns, the very one and the same Professor Mackerel Fishface will be manning a diving bell in search of a species that has yet to be captured by man, (and really, how else can we prove we’re the higher beings?) the Whimwam whistling shark. (Cephalosillyum wisling)

Under the sea, under the sea, there are sardines which aren’t a real species, listen to me! Really though; ‘sardine’ is a catch all term for small fish you can stick in a can. So while I understand the joke of the fish swimming in a packed together school, I can’t help but wonder if they’re actually anchovies or really herring. Then we get the expected “crab sounds like Ned Sparks” joke, a hermit crab that is very happy to be one, and a taxi crab. (Okay. That pun isn’t overdone. Yet.) And the animators try their darnedest to make a Katherine Hepburnesque sea star sexy. (Which is a very specific fetish, but to the one person into echinoderms, your life’s journey has concluded.)

Now, here’s a joke you’ve known about for about as long as ever: the electric eel that displays a neon sign. And the only reason I’m not bothering to mention that it shouldn’t be in saltwater is because the narrator himself calls it a visitor. I’m considering that a win. And then there’s the appearance of this thing:

A horrifying monstrosity of a being that must be living in constant agony. No doubt only wanting to see Mr. Ripley so it’s deformity can bring some goodness to the world. But our narrator wants nothing to do with it, and shoos it away. It will be known as a running joke. (Repeatus humorous).

There’s an octopus that has a mouth where its siphon should be and probably vice versa failing to catch a sun perch which means one of these animals is the very wrong habitat. (I’m guessing it’s the one with the spine.) And get this: a seahorse race. You get it? Cause land horses race so it’s a joke to suggest their aquatic (distant) cousins would do the same. I just wish someone would make a joke about how boring that would be. Slowest fish in the world folks. Oh yeah, I guess our monstrosity was female since it laid eggs at the narrator’s suggestion. I’m not sure how she did and I’m happy about that.

Want more fish puns? We’re swimming with them! (Nobody said I couldn’t get in on the act.) A “tiger” shark! A “hammer” head shark. A “shovelnose” shark! (Wait. That last one isn’t a shark.) At least the first two subvert our expectations with additional jokes; the tiger meows and the hammer is hitting himself. Okay, yeah. That’s funny. I need a gif of that. But wait… cartilaginous fish? Does that mean… Yes! That whistle! That’s the shark the professor was looking for! Good thing he came prepared with a net! He hauls the creature aboard his diving bell and is hoisted back aboard.

Too bad containing yourself in an enclosed space with a animal that can eat you means one of you has to die. Ah well. Sacrifices have to be made in the name of science. Let’s name an aquarium after Mr. Fishface to calm his wife down.

Favorite Part: A school of fish (sarcastic *ha*) is being taught how to get bait off hooks without, you know, getting drug to your demise. The teacher makes the mistake of showing what not to do, and the fry all cheer when they learn this means school is over for the day. (Funny because it’s true.)

Personal Rating: 2. It still looks wonderfully visually, but fish and fish puns both stink after three days.

Finally, I ask you to join me in raising a toast to “Coyote Vs Acme” a film I was really looking forward to viewing, but tragically died before it was even born. I try to adore Warner Bros. but its actions like this that make me think I should faun over different studios. It’s just one of those harsh lessons that never sinks in for me: just because you love something, doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to love you back.

Posted on

A Sunbonnet Blue

“Oh, George! You’re so cuute!”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Animation by Sid Sutherland and Virgil Ross; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on August 21, 1937.

Let’s finish off Avery’s mice trilogy. This time, our short will take place in the “Snobby hatte Shoppe”. A mouse who plagiarized Porky’s blazer and tie checks to make sure there are no people or cats. Nope! Not in this picture! He calls for the rest of the gang to come out of hiding. Well, he tries to. I couldn’t find any prints of this cartoon without his line getting awkwardly cut o-

These mice aren’t here to nibble the hats, or even just to futz about with the things for their own amusement. These mice are performers! They’ve got a little song and dance number to the title song. But I can’t imagine the audience is paying them much thought. Oh, ours for sure, but also their animated one. While they sing, something far more surreal happens with a straw hat and bonnet. They get married! (Good thing there was a priest’s hat nearby.) And these things reproduce like aphids! In the three seconds the camera pans back to the mice, the hats have produced about 13 offspring. (Mrs. Bonnet? Why are you washing so many diapers? Do hats even have urinary tracts?)

Next on the docket is the three Ratz brothers. (It’s kinda weird that their introductory text is just flashed on the bottom of the screen. But then, I guess the mice already would know who they are.) These guys are the highlight of the picture and the reason I’m not rating it a two. They’re having such a fun time hamming it up, singing hat related songs, making faces, acting crazy. Basically being cartoon characters figuratively and literally. It’s a crying shame that they aren’t going to help out during the climax.

Our two mammalian romantic leads have been eyed this whole time by a rat who either has the plague or is Rat Fink’s grandfather. Using Judge Doom’s hat as cover, he is able to steal the doe. George notices immediately and rallies the troops. (I think he identified the villain as “Roughhouse Ratchet”. Which is a pretty awesome name for someone born looking evil.) They march into battle, all wearing the appropriate hats. Hats that are at human scale. They may not be able to see, who they’re looking for, but darn it, they look so cool! I’m sure George will understand.

With sufficient numbers gathered, some of the rodents… float in midair? What happened? Was this the only background available? Did the animator’s just not get to see what their cels were going to overlay? Whatever it is, it’s actually pretty unintentionally funny. Still, this oversight is an oversight, so I couldn’t let it be ignored. I mean really, you think the guy who mentions things like George’s ear being miscolored for a frame would miss a chance like that?

Seems not being able to see anything other than your feet really came back to bite these little pipsqueaks as George is the one who does all the rescuing. He flings a flattened top hat at the villain, scooping him up and loosening his grip on the girl. When the hat pops up again, Roughhouse is flung into a knight’s helmet that George locks up. Now he can ask his lady a question he’s probably been holding in all night. Happily, she agrees.

So the two non-hat romantic leads are also getting wed. Good thing we have a living priest ha-. another rodent in the priest hat. That works too. He pronounces the two buck and doe and a wedding present is presented to the two: live-action baby clothes. (Hint hint, you two. You evolved the ability to replenish your numbers to ludicrous degree for a reason.)

Favorite Part: When George panics, he let out some Daffy “Woo-hoos.” It’s funny to hear them coming out of a mouse for a change.

Personal Rating: 3, for those glory that was those Ritz Bros. I’m sorry, Ratz Bros.

Posted on

Ain’t we got Fun

“3rd shelf: Things ‘n stuff.”

Supervision by Fred Avery; Animation by Charles Jones and Robert Clampett; Musical Direction by Carl W. Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on April 17, 1937.

Let’s return to that strange time when Avery tried to make cute little mice cartoons. (Although, chronologically, this was the first of the three.)

It’s snowing. Isn’t it awful? I like the plan of Old man Numbles: sit in a comfortable chair in front of a beautiful fire. Only thing wrong with that? His cat beat him to the best seat in the house. Easy fix. He smacks it with his newspaper until it returns to the floor where it belongs. This guy isn’t just smart, he’s great with animals. I nominate him as my third grandfather.

As cats do, the cat falls asleep. Ever hear the saying, ‘When the cat’s asleep, the mice will creep?’ It’s playing out right now. Sentry mouse sends the word via paper airplane. Using a model that experience has told me doesn’t fly at all. Side-tangent, but if you’ve thrown the perfect paper airplane, you’ll spend the rest of your life cursing your inability to duplicate it. With the word spread, it’s creeping time. (It’s a hauntingly hypnotic creep. It’s also another great image to screen-cap for memes. When you become the trendiest person on the internet, the right thing to do will be to send me half of the money you made with this great tip.)

Cat’s out like an old fad. Feast time! While the food gags commence, the mice are smart enough to set another one on guard duty. If the cat appears, he’s to whistle. Just a suggestion, but you might want to take those crackers he’s standing in front of with you. I know mice, and I know crackers. Mice will nibble on edible things. Crackers can not be whistled through. When you put the two together, it equals trouble for your soiree.

And the giggles roust the cat. Um, you’re looking the wrong way, moron. The pantry was located to your right. His eyes have changed color, too. Maybe because if you squint as much as Numbles does, he kinda looked like Beans at first? Guard mouse can’t whistle to save his friends lives, but his ear can flash. Good thing a different mouse sees the feline and everybody flees back to the mouse hole in time. With the cat separated by wall, the stragglers hand him the food they pilfered from the pantry. Oh, Numbles! You might want to take a look at this!

The geezer ain’t happy.  Despite the cat’s insistence, he is deemed guilty and doomed to freeze outside. Strangely enough, seeing my two least favorite things together is actually making me laugh. Now the mice can really creep! In fact, things are so good that they sing our title song, with a few modified lyrics. And I think one of the singers is a doe. I mean, she’s(?) wearing a dress, but the singer’s all sound masculine. An oversight? Or an Avery joke? Guard mouse even got himself a metal whistle, so his snacking won’t be a hindrance anymore.

With less caution, the resulting noise manages to wake Numbles. The mice don’t fear him, so they pelt him with food. (I’m sure they won’t mind nibbling it off of him afterwards.) Remembering why he got a cat in the first place, he begs for it to come back inside, apologizing for the mix-up. Cat’s hearing none of it. The man can fix his own mess. It’s the mice’s taunting that convinces it to chase them back to the hole once more. Maybe now they’ll stay put. The cat claims the chair once more, andNumbles, realizing he owes him one, takes the rug instead.

Favorite Part: After smacking the cat away from his chair, Numbles throws a book at it for no real reason. Maybe you have to dislike cats like I do to get it.

Personal Rating: 3. Putting my personal view aside, I don’t think there’s too much cat abuse here for cat lovers to hate it. C’mon, he wins in the end!

Posted on

Circus Today

“It’s different from anything you’ve seen before, folks!”

After this, he’s gonna lie on him!

Supervision by Fred Avery; Story by Jack Miller; Animation by Sid Sutherland; Musical Direction by Carl Stalling. A Merrie Melody released on June 22, 1940.

I’ve had a pretty tiring week. I need a short to blog about that won’t require much effort on my part. (It usually takes SO much out of me.) Let’s see… “Joe Glow the Firefly?” Nah. “Freddy the Freshman?” Nope. “Corn on the Cop?” Mmmmm… What do you mean the title of this post means I’ve already made my selection? What if I’ve changed my mind?

Time for some more of those Avery spot gags his unit did so well. Just… not here. I’m sorry, but this might just be the weakest one of these cartoons he directed. (At W.B. at least.) Weak jokes, references common folk won’t get, and a setting that tends to make people uncomfortable these days.

Welcome to Jingling Bros. circus! Where you’re sure to have a good time, even if our performers don’t. Why not remember your trip with a genuine helium balloon? Not only are they powerful enough to lift a man into the air, but they change color constantly! What do we put in these things! (We won’t tell. It might talk you out of a purchase.)

We’ve got plenty of sideshow acts as well. Gamer the glutton will eat anything you put in front of him; so what if it makes him all jangly inside? Hot Foot Hogan can walk across burning coals. Sure it causes him great pain, but he can do it! (Pay no attention to his disappearing act.) And Captain Clampett can be launched from a cannon, go on a round-world trip, and have the postage to prove it! (Any relation to A.C. Gamer, Rich Hogan and Bob Clampett will be lost on the casual viewer.)

What kind of circus would be complete without exotic animals being housed in cramped, unsanitary cages? There’s a repeat of the person feeding the animal when they really shouldn’t joke that was seen previously in both “A Day at the Zoo”, and “Cross Country Detours”. At least the punchline differs slightly with the monkey being a narc. There’s also a large gorilla being referred to as an assassin of the jungle, terrifying brute, and all around vicious beast. It might have been a punchline to see it be so gentle back then, but nowadays it’s like “no crap.”

Inside the tent is where the REAL action is. The Flying Cadenzas are quite the amazing acrobats. Flying really is the perfect word to describe them. “Successful” and “Full set” are not. Then there’s Dixie Dare. A rather hot honey who attempts to grab a handkerchief off the ground with her teeth whilst horse riding. Maybe on the return trip, she can attempt to grab her teeth. Another performer, Madame Trixie, prefers to dance with her horse. He leads. (Is she supposed to look like Freddie Bartholomew?)

Elephants. A majestic animal that has been forced into this humiliating line of work ever since circuses took off. The trick is have a trainer who acts like one of their own. Hence, Ignatz Ignatzavich as part of their parade, a tail in his mouth. Still, the creatures have large developed brains, and just can’t bring to complete a trick that requires them to put all their bulk on his fragile, soft head. Instead, watch our performer who will do one of those death dives from an ungodly height, to a bucket of water. And I do mean “death”, quite literally. You’ve haven’t truly experienced our circus until you’ve heard our band play “Taps”.

Favorite Part: Lion tamer Clyde Binder (who you’re probably not recognizing as a nod to studio executive Henry Binder) has just put his head in a lion’s mouth and lived to show it. Seeing how much applause this gets, has the lion putting his head into the human’s mouth. (His envy is cute.)

Personal Rating: 2. I could see people laughing and enjoying this. But if you’re no stranger to Avery’s works, I can’t imagine you’ll think this is anywhere near his best.