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Tweety’s High-flying Adventure

“Humph! Mr. Popular.”

Directed by Karl Torege, Charles Visser, James T. Walker, Kyung Won Lim.

In case you haven’t noticed, all of the shorts I’ve talked about recently have had cats in them. Looney Tunes are chock full of them. And so is this direct to video movie which was sort of a series finale for “The Sylvester and Tweety Msyteries.” It’s not spectacular, but I still find it enjoyable. So let’s get started.

It’s October 2nd… I dunno, 2000 I guess, and Granny is living in London for some reason. She has two pets, namely Sylvester and Tweety. She is also a member of the Looney Club, which is located right next door to a children’s park that is going to close soon. Inside the club we see…COLONEL RIMFIRE? Wow! One of the last characters created for Looney Tunes. He doesn’t get roles anymore. Score one point for this film. He is busy ranting about the fact that he never caught his nemesis: Cool Cat. No, not that abomination created by Derek Savage. This character actually has earned his title. At least, I think he’s cool.

The colonel takes a little solace in the fact that he was bested by a creature that was smarter than him. Not just Cool Cat, but all cats. He believes cats are the smartest creatures on the planet. I disagree. Lucky for me, Granny is on my side, believing her canary to be the I.Q.-iest. Rimfire says he’d bet his savings on his claim, and she takes him up on it, hoping to use the winnings to restore the park. She claims that Tweety can prove this by not only going around the globe in 80 days, which would be December 21, (I’m still going with) 2000, but also collect 80 different paw prints. It’s a big challenge, but Tweety’ll do anything for Granny. (Is it just me, or does that calendar have a picture of one of the hunters from “Horton hatches the egg” on it?)

So he is given a passport to get stamped to prove he visited the locations. This gathers the attention of a shifty looking character in the crowd. It’s the Shropshire Slasher from the short “Deduce You Say“. He eyes Tweety’s passport with great interest and why not? The things might be rare soon. One’s already been stolen apparently. Sylvester meanwhile, plans on following the canary to make sure he and only he can have him for lunch. Outfitted with a tracking device, Tweety heads for his first stop in France. Not too long after starting, a wind blows him off course into the Alps. Lodged into the side of a mountain, he asks a nearby climber for help. Said climber is actually Daffy, who is sore about the fact this is not his movie and refuses to help. An avalanche happens but the two are saved by snowboarder Bugs Bunny.

It is now October 12, and Sylvester has been waiting in France this whole time. The script says that Tweety should have come here, could it be wrong? Nope. Here he comes now, being chased by Penelope Pussycat. She crashes into Sylvester’s table and gets a white stripe down her back, but that does not deter her from her purrrr-suit. (Weak, I know.) Not if Sylvester has anything to say about it. While they chase, Tweety gets his passport stamped by Pepe. He then points out something he thinks he’ll like: two skunks fighting over him. (It’s not really explained how Sylvester got a stripe as well.) With those two occupied, Tweety collects Penelope’s print and flies off for Italy.

Would you like to bet on whether or not Tweety will make it? Because his progress is being charted by Foghorn, Prissy, Henry, and Egghead Jr. And they’re accepting all bets. They believe he can do it. (Birds are encouraging like that) In Venice, Tweety stops at Pasquelles. This is the same restaurant Charlie Dog tried to make home in “A Hound for Trouble.” He’s still there, playing waiter. Tweety orders a plate of birdseed with marinara sauce. As all Americans know, Italian food is good eating, so it’s no wonder that Tweety leaves the place plump as a turkey. He can’t even fly anymore, so he hitches a ride on a gondola. But flightless, plump, juicy, succulent birds are vulnerable. Surprise! The owner of it is a cat, and there are more up ahead on a bridge. Tweety uses his new physique to bowl over them. He gets their prints, and a stamp for Venice. (Turns out his fat was just gas. If only I had that problem.)

Tweety’s trip has garnered more attention, and he is even mentioned by Lola on the news. Tweety makes it to Egypt and gets his passport stamped by a camel. (Who I think is Humpty Bumpty in a fez, but I can’t be sure.) Worn out, Tweety goes to sleep. But Sylvester must have gotten away form Pepe, and is back for more. (Please tell me he convinced him of his gender before it was too late.) After a scuffle, Tweety hides in the Sphinx. Granny wasn’t kidding about his smarts. He knows how to read Hieroglyphics. Turns out the place has a terrible fate for anyone who tries to head down a certain hall. Since Sylvester isn’t aware, he gets attacked by mummified cats.  They punch him hard enough to make a hole in the place for Tweety to escape from. He collects their prints and is on his way once more.

Landing in Africa (in the jungle of crayon drawn trees) he encounters the Mynah Bird. Since that guy doesn’t talk, Tweety just follows him hoping he’ll lead him to his next stamp. But he doesn’t look where he’s going and wanders into a lion’s mouth. (At least he found the stamp in there.) He leaves the mouth of the beast, (which looks more like a dog dressed as a lion to me) but almost immediately runs into Pete Puma. (Why’s he here?) The two corner Tweety in a tree. (No relation to the short “Tree cornered Tweety”) Luckily for him, the Mynah comes back and saves him by flinging the predators away. With that done, Tweety heads to Tibet. He gets to a souvenir shop where Gossamar gives him another stamp. (Why not?) Tweety also catches sight of some monk cats lead by Claude. (He may look different, but the voice is a dead giveaway.)

They are about to sacrifice a canary (who has hair) to their god. Tweety comes to the rescue in a snowball (picking up Hugo the abominable snowman along the way) and bowls over them. He looks just like their god and he demands that they release the bird, and knock off the canary sacrifices. Even though they agree, Tweety is a jerk and still sics Hugo on them. (But he does get their prints as well) He is joined by the other bird named Aooga. (No really.) After getting a stamp at China, the two are blown off course all the way to Mexico. At least they can get a stamp for there. (Courtesy of Speedy) Since they are down there, they stop by Rio as well. Rocky and Muggsy are hiding out there, but they still give them a stamp. And in Argentina they get another one form (Spike/Hector? Marc Antony? Just a bulldog?)

With the south taken care of, they fly back to Japan. (Seems the Slasher is still on the loose.) Afterwards, they decide to take a boat to their next destination. Sylvester has remembered he’s in this movie and prepares to dig in. But he’s caught by a ship hand and thrown in the galley to catch mice. The mice in question are Hubie and Bertie who are living a good life with all the cheese they can eat. Sylvester gives chase, but they use a bucket of soapy water to send him sliding off the ship. Even though he clasps on to the side, Tweety sadistically pries him off, sending him into the shark infested (badly animated) water below. But he does throw him a life saver. (The things he does for Warner Bros.)

The three drift to Australia. There, the passport is stamped by Hippety Hopper. (Why does he have a pouch?) And of course Sylvester thinks he’s a giant mouse. But this is also the home of the Tasmanian Devil who shows up and plans to eat some cat. Sylvester saves his hide, by encouraging a team up so they can both get canary. They chase after the birds on a bike, (Taz really seems to be enjoying himself) but the birds make their getaway with a convenient hang glider. Sylvester leaps onto it, leaving Taz alone in the air. (He holds out Wile E. holding out a ‘mother’ sign.) The birds fly off leaving the cat stuck on the glider, but he bumps into a wind surfer. (Is that the flying fish from “The sour puss” on his sail?) The birds land atop it as well, and ride to their next stop, San Francisco.

With the putty tat still on their tails, the birds ride a skateboard through no-color-ville to escape. Sylvester hops aboard a trolley driven by Yosemite Sam and shoves him out of the way. But he doesn’t really know how to work it, and ends up breaking the brake. With the vehicle out of control the two end up on Alcatraz much to Sam’s anger. The birds head off to Vegas, with Sylvester following on a train, an angry Sam chasing him the whole trip. (He has great endurance.) Once there, Sylvester manages to get Sam taken away on another train, but loses the birds in Chalk Vegas. They are hiding in a casino which just so happens to be full of cats. They are all betting against Tweety. If they were to be spotted, they would probably be chased down. Sylvester exposes their hiding spot and they are chased down. One cat catches Aoogah and I think Tweety shoves a pole up his butt. (What else could he have done with it?) Sylvester meanwhile has caused another cat to hit the jackpot. Pussyfoot is with her, are they related? Also the kitten makes itself comfortable on Sylvester’s head. (Adorable)

The two head off again. (The Slasher also is outside. Is that other guy naked?) The two birds head off across the country collecting prints along the way. They eventually make it to New York. (It’s full of Looney Tune advertisements.) They stop for a hot dog at a cart that is by a strange looking man in a trench coat. Tweety asks a weird question to Aoogah: What kind of hot dog would she be if she was one? (What.) Sylvester is the vendor, and plans to eat. During the scuffle, mustard is squirted all over the strange man, exposing him as Marvin. This confusion gives the birds a chance to get to the airport. Tweety is sad that the fun is almost over, and decides for one more challenge he’ll fly back to London on his own. He leaves his ticket with the stewardess and the birds head out. Sylvester meanwhile makes a pretty poor excuse for a poster that is framing Tweety as stealing the Passport. Good thing he showed it to a poor excuse for a cop who believes it. While this does not get him anywhere, he does get Tweety’s ticket. Guess he’ll meet them in London.

The birds meanwhile have flown into a hurricane. Not only does it remove Tweety’s tracker, making the world believe he’s gone, but it separates the duo. (Now all the world has left to enjoy is a man in a barrel. I’m not joking)  And Aooga had the passport! Tweety feels sorry for himself, since it seems like he’s not going to win like he always does. He hears Aooga’s call and lands on an island in the eye of the storm. (Home of the worst CGI trees I’ve ever seen.) Turns out the passport floats and after getting swarmed by some random cats, (Strange, but hey more prints.) They fly off to London once more. Arriving in a pub, they are grabbed by the Slasher. Turns out he was behind the passport theft all along! (Surprise surprise!) He collects the things. He stuffs it in his pocket, and Tweety probably would have been lost if he was alone. But Aoogah snatches it back.

The pollice arrive and the Slahser is forced to take off. Sylvester is with them, still clutching his poster. (I’m not surprised these guys believed it. They probably think all American posters are shoddily made.) Tweety has the passport and is presumed guilty. Sylvester takes it as Tweety is arrested and happily jumps in glee. But what’s this? There are two passports? And Tweety’s checks out. Leaving Sylvester holding the stolen one. Turns out the slasher stuck them in the same pocket he keeps his fish and chips in, and they got stuck together. (Gross.) Sylvester won’t be a bother to them now, but Tweety is sad. According to the subtitle, it’s the 22 and that mean he’s late. But Aoogah points out that they crossed a time zone and actually it is the 21st! There is stilla a chance! (Ummm. The sun rises in the east. So if it’s really the 21st in London, wouldn’t it be the 20th in America?)

They rush to the club. Rimfire points out that there’s only 79 prints. Tweety never managed to actually get Sylvester’s. Taking the passport back, he rushes to the police wagon and gets the last print! Rimfire reluctantly admits defeat, and it turns out one of the other members was Cool Cat all along. And he knew Tweety would succeed. Only someone who is truly cool will admit he’s not the smartest. For finding the missing passport, Tweety is knighted. Sylvester is still heading to prison.

Personal Rating: Looney-tics should have fun seeing how many characters are crammed in here. For them, 3. For the rest…3. (Only because I don’t have a 3.5 rating)

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Swallow the Leader

“I came here for a swallow, and I’m not leaving until I get a swallow.”

Does anyone want to play Jacks after dinner?

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1949.

I never mentioned, but last week’s post is one of my favorite Porky shorts. He was offended when he heard that, seeing as how he’s absent for about 80% of the film. To appease him, I’m sharing another one of my favorite of his films that has only him. Enjoy!

Personal Rating: 4 (unless you’re too immature to handle it. Parental discretion is advised.)

We’re not going to be on speaking terms for awhile. So why don’t I just move on to today’s short?

It’s that time of year again. The time when the swallows come back to Capistrano. (I don’t get why the narrator is so amazed that they find their way back every year. Don’t mention pigeons or salmon to him. He might crack.) Naturally, such a phenomenon attracts many bird lovers who come to see the event. And a bird lover is indeed there. A cat with no name is waiting. (I don’t know why he has that collar on. I guess to have some identity? I’ll solve that by calling him Miles. He looks like a miles.)

The scout swallow comes about making sure everything is ready for his flock to nest in. Miles quickly puts a nest together for him. The bird likes the new nest, but why are there teeth in it? He let’s his friend in first. A Mr. In the box, by name. Miles’ neck becomes elongated. He chases the little bird with a net, but has to stop at the edge of the building. The bird drops a brick in his net for him. How thoughtful. The bird finds a metal swallow and paints it to resemble him. Miles takes the bait and swallows it whole. Now he is at the mercy of the bird’s magnet. (One of those horseshoe kind. Has anyone actually seen one of those? Outside of cartoons I haven’t.) He ends up stuck around a pole thanks to the bird, and the bird puts a lever under him. He ends up turning into a test your strength game. Or rather, test the cat’s skull’s strength game. (Ouch.)

Wings, a superman costume, and a gun don’t work, and trying to bait an electric plate with corn, might’ve worked if the bird hadn’t turned it on first. The swallow finds a tooth free nest and jumps in. Jokes on him; the bottom was fly paper. (Or in his case, anti-fly paper.) Miles prepares to enjoy his snack, but it appears he took too long. The rest of the swallow flock appears and chase him out. Determined to get a swallow, Miles sees a sign advertising them. He rushes over and finally gets something in his belly: alcohol. At least he seems happy.

Personal Rating: 3

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Porky’s Poor Fish

“To arms! To arms! The cat!”

Directed by Robert Clampett. Released in 1940.

It starts by telling us this is an adaption of the story “20,000 leaks under the ceiling.” (I’d read that. Couldn’t be as boring as its source material.) We see a mouse happily skipping and whistling down the street. A hungry looking cat is close behind. He’s not really trying to be quiet or sneaky, so I’m not too surprised when the mouse makes a sudden turn and the cat ends up in mud. Stupid cat, mice are snake food.

Elsewhere, we see a pet fish shop run by my good friend Porky. (He owns the place, but it’s under new mis-management? I’ll just take that to mean that the fish are in charge of themselves.) Peeking in the window shows a fish that is somehow resting at the bottom of its bowl with its eyes closed. (Must be a new species. I’ve never seen a 14 karat gold fish.) Inside, Porky and the fish serenade us with a song about why they are good pets. And fish puns abound! There are A.C. and D.C. electric eels, (Which aren’t really eels. I know about fi… oh forget it.) a perch on a perch, a mackerel full of holes, and some soles tapping along to the music. There’s even a chorus line of legs dancing. This is what I’m talking about! Maybe I should buy me some of these sexy fish.

The curtain goes up revealing a disturbing octopus is the owner of all of them. (And I take back my comment. Sexy fish are one thing, but sexy mollusks are out of the question. You’d think I’d learn. This gag was used two years earlier in the short “Porky’s five and ten.”) After the song ends, it’s lunch time. Porky goes on his way and I wish I could join him. (That octopus won’t leave me alone now.) As he leaves, the cat from earlier walks by. He happily enters this all you can eat buffet. He reaches into a tank, causing an oyster that looks more like Cecil Turtle than a bivalve, to hide under it’s bed. (Clever pun.) The cat does get his mitts on a cute little fish who is powerless to resist. If only she was a piranha.

Good thing the eels saw the whole thing, and flash a message to the rest of the store. A turtle mounts a seahorse and warns of the danger, a tuna lays an infant-try, (That’s my joke. The tuna clucking is theirs. Chicken of the sea, you know) and a flying fish takes off like a plane. The cat is scared and backs into another tank that contains a hammerhead shark, who bonks him on the head. (Don’t question why you can buy it, purchase today!) One of the eels shocks the cat, and he flings the fish into the air. The flying fish grabs her. I’m really just guessing it’s a her. It has eyelashes, and since fish don’t usually have those, its probably the only way to tell its gender. At least the tuna laid eggs. …That were already fertilized… That’s not how it works!

The cat falls into a tank where he is punched by a mussel. (Another good joke.) I bet you didn’t know those creatures had Popeye’s arms.  The cat flies out of the shop just as Porky returns. Back in street, the cat is pleased to see that mouse from before. He rears to attack, but the mouse growls at him. The cat regresses into the kitten he was on the inside the whole time. Go back to milk, junior. Fish are big-cat food.

Personal Rating: 3

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Mouse and Garden

“We’re pals, aren’t we Sylvester?”

The best of chumps.

Directed by Friz Freleng. Released in 1960 Nominated for an Academy Award. Lost to the Noveltoon, “Munro”. Which was really good, so I’ll allow it.

Life is hard for Sylvester. If he’s not being anyone’s pet, he doesn’t get any food and is reduced to picking through the trash. At least he’s got a friend. Sam, (voiced by Daws Butler, the same person who voiced many of Hanna-Barbera’s characters, like Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound, and Quick Draw) who previously appeared with him in the short “Trick or Tweet” The two are the best of chums. And they’re always willing to share the other’s food. Sylvester takes note of a mouse. It’s small, but it’s got more nutrition than fish bones. Seeing his chance, he ditches Sam and chases the rodent into a boathouse. Unlike most mice in Looney Tunes, this one is not a clever trickster and Sylvester stops it by stepping on its tail.

Sam comes in and Sylvester hides his snack behind a pillar. Somehow, Sam knows about this and hammers Sylvester’s foot and replaces the mouse with a lit firecracker, which Sylvester eats. Sam hides the mouse in a bureau and when Sylvester asks what’s in it, Sam claims it’s nothing. Sylvester pokes his head in and comments that he’s right. Sam finds the mouse in his friend’s mouth. Now that they both know the other is aware, they decide to put the mouse in a jug  that they dangle from a rope, promising to share it in the morning. (Hope they don’t mind if he dies, there can’t be an air supply there.) The two sleep on a bed that’s there and Sam dreams of a mouse feast. (Sylvester dreams of hitting Sam for dreaming of said mouse.)

Sam attempts to get the mouse but is caught in the act. Since he can’t be trusted, Sam is tied to the bed. Sylvester attempts, but Sam mallets his head. (All while still tied to the bed.) Sam tries to reach the jug from the water below, using a pipe as a snorkel. Sylvester puts another firecracker down it. (Is he walking on water?) Sam spits it back up a few times, before Sylvester plugs it up. To finally stop this whole thing, the two agree to be tied together. But later, Sylvester ties more string on the line so he can get the mouse without Sam waking up. He ties Sam’s end to a motorboat, but Sam wakes up and catches him. He ties Sylvester’s tail to the boat and exposes him.

Unaware that he’s now the one tied up, Sylvester announces his plans to have Sam be taken away. Sam points out that he switched the lines and shakes Sylvester’s hand/paw in farewell. The boat takes off with Sylvester, Sam, and the jug all being taken along. They crash and the two cats make it to an offshore rock. As the mouse (somehow escaped) floats back to land in the jug, the two cats continuously kick each other as we iris out.

Personal Rating: 3

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A Peck O’ Trouble

“Well, I know what I want for breakfast.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1953.

Well, well. Look who’s back. Hope you don’t like these two too much. This is the last of two shorts that they stared in. It starts off like a continuation of the last one, as Dodsworth is outside, and no longer a pet. What Dodsworth is wanting is a woodpecker. (Very similar to the one Sylvester hunted in “Peck up your troubles.”) Naturally he gets pecked when climbs after it. At least he does mark the tree the bird resides in. (Not in the way you’re thinking of! I meant with a pen.) He’s still too lazy to do this himself. Or maybe he’s just winded from climbing the telephone pole.

As he muses, the kitten from the last short shows up. This time more of a yellowish cream color and sporting a blue bow. Also his eyeballs aren’t green anymore. Dodsworth tells (lies) the kid that he is an old master of bird catching and would be glad to tutor the young one. He agrees, and Dodsy sends him up the tree. The woodpecker hands the kitten a bowling ball which causes him to plummet and land on Dodsworth, crushing his tiny head into his “teacher’s” body. (Which briefly turns white. He must’ve been really scared.) Next attempt has Dodsy flying a kite with a kitten for a tail. (Cat-tail anyone?) Reaching in, the kid grabs a firecracker the bird lit and brings it down to his teacher. It blows up inside him. The kitten then unwinds a ladder to climb up with, while the Dods-ster will hold it steady. The woodpecker undoes it and Dodsworth gets caught in between the rungs. The kitten comes to free him. (Entering from the wrong side of the screen I might add.) and unwinds it leaving his tutor in only his boxers.

They try a pole. The woodpecker places some nitroglycerin on top of it and pecks it away. Dodsworth doesn’t even try to get away and takes it like a man. Telling the kitten it’s his last chance, he shoots him up with a crossbow. There is a brief scuffle that ultimately stops. Dodsy is convinced that the kid stole his breakfast. Another bowling ball lands on his head. It has a note in it from The Kitten this time. Apparently his name really is The Kitten. (All pigs call their offspring ‘Babe’, all cats call theirs ‘The Kitten’.) Speaking of his mother, she told him that if you can’t beat them, join them. He dons a beak and glove to looks like a woodpecker’s crest and joins the bird in pecking. (Not the kind of pecking you’re thinking of! With their beaks. What’s wrong with you today?)

Personal Rating: 3

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Kiddin’ the Kitten

“Here comes trouble for Dodsworth.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1952.

This short begins with a lady freaking out over some mice. (Come on, really? I still refuse that any woman in the history of ever has freaked out like this over a mouse.) The mice mock her, and rightfully so. If she’s going to act like this, she deserves to be ridiculed. Of course, maybe if her cat actually caught mice, she might be a little more sane. The cat, Dodsworth, (Interesting name.) would rather just lie about eating sardines. The mice don’t fear him in the slightest and take one of his snacks for their own. The woman tells the cat to cat-ch them, (heh-heh) or he’s out of the family.

Work is not something he’s too keen on. Apparently no one in his family had to stoop to such lows. What he really needs is someone to do it for him. With that idea in mind, he puts a sign outside claiming it’s a school of mousing. (M.U. we’ll call it.) Almost right away, he’s got someone interested. A little kitten that actually is pretty cute. (Maybe in part, because I think it looks more like a dog than anything.) Despite the bow, Dodsworth refers to it as a male, so I guess I have no choice but to do likewise. (But I’m still going to give it the genderly ambiguous name of Riley.)

His teaching method states that experience is all you need. He hooks Riley to a fishing hook and tells him to tug when he’s caught a rodent. The kitten is cast into the kitchen. The mice are not scared. (Why should they be? In a house where potential dangers either laze about or act hysterical…) but Riley gives chase regardless, cornering one into a hole. He puts some cheese on his middle finger and the now dazed mouse takes it. Riley then flicks his finger, (or toe I suppose) on to the mouse’s head knocking him out. Now back with the teacher, he learns that getting one mouse at a time is not good enough, and he’s cast out again. So he gets a big wheel of cheese and fills it with ball bearings. (Why were they in the fridge?) The mice either don’t chew their food, or they just possess the strongest teeth of all rodents and gobble it down.

Riley tugs back on the line and when he’s pulled back, uses a magnet to attract them all to him. Hearing his lady approaching, Dodsworth quickly gives him a diploma and shoos him out. Walking to the cage of mice, he takes credit for the work. I guess Riley figured it was weird to be rushed out so fast, as he came back to witness the whole thing. In retaliation, he lets all the mice go. The woman acts pathetic again, and Dodsworth is bound and gagged. Riley then chases them all out saving the day. Later, Dodsworth has apparently been kicked to the curb as Riley now occupies his bed and had his name crossed out. But I think he should have kept the name. It suits him now that he has adopted Dodsworth’s habits. Seeing this, the mice come back and pick up where they left off. Riley-sworth quotes the original, “One of these day’s I’m going to have to buy myself a mousetrap.”

Personal Rating: 3

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Go Fly a Kit

“What’s she in love with anyway, a DC6?”

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1957

It’s 2016 and I’m still here. (Thought for sure that last month would finish me off.) There are hundreds of shorts still waiting to be discussed, so let’s not waste any time!

At an airport, a cat (although she looks more like a kitten to me) gazes longingly at the runway. A guy takes notice of her an asks another what she is doing. Apparently, she is waiting for her boyfriend.

Wait, what now? The second man tells of how there was an eagle with an overdeveloped motherly instinct. So powerful, that she’d rather raise a kitten as her own rather than eat it. She’s also smart enough to realize he’s a mammal, as she brings him milk to eat. (Birds are kinda lacking in the milk department. Unless you’re a pigeon.) She even tries teaching him to fly. While he plummets at first, he finds if he wags his tail enough, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly! The two love each other very much, but as nature intended, he must eventually leave the nest. (Don’t cry Miss eagle. I’m sure you’ll find a human baby you can raise.)

He flies on and lands on a telephone wire to try and chat with some (tweeting?) crows. They fly off in a panic. Either it’s that moment where he realizes he’s no bird, or his hormones kick in, because he sees another cat being chased by… Marc Antony? (I can’t confirm or deny it’s him, but I’m going to say it is.) Flying, he both scratches Marc and takes the cat up a tree to be safe. It’s love at first sight! (Names? Uh, how about Swoop and Amber?) Swoop isn’t done messing with Marc though, and flies down as the dog begins to charge. Despite the fact she just saw him fly, Amber freaks out. Obviously, there’s no need to worry. Swoop leaps up to scratch again and Marc skids into a lake.

He sneaks out to surprise the cat. (I still think they look like kittens, frankly) Amber sees this and tries to warn her savior, but he seems too entranced by her beauty to move. (I do that constantly with animals.) But Swoop seems on top of things, as he flies out of the resultinh scuffle, leaving Marc chewing his own leg. He next tries to club the cat, which is on his head. Naturally, he keeps hitting himself. Eventually, he traps the cat under a trash can. He thinks he’s won, but he doesn’t notice that the cat is somehow strong enough to lift the can with a bulldog on top and leave it atop a skyscraper. The dog can’t sit still as he must keep balance. Come night he’s still there. (That’s harsh. You couldn’t have just landed him in a pound?)

The couple takes a moonlight stroll and gaze into each other’s eyes. The story ending, the man says that every year the cat flies south. It’s not instinct, it’s just common sense. I’d do it if I didn’t hate movement. Oh, who am I to ruin this moment? The happiness on Amber’s face is more than precious as Swoop returns. She’s not the only one happy to see him though. Their children (who inherited or learned their father’s flight) are too. He’s still just her boyfriend, though. It’s not like cats mate for life. The happy couple gazes into each other’s eyes again and their offspring do the same to one another. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Please tell me they’re just imitating them since they are young. Otherwise this is probably the most disturbing short I’ve yet to see. Animals or not, I don’t want them inbreeding.

Personal Rating: 3

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The Unexpected Pest

“Okay sthlave, I’ve got a job for ya.”

Directed by Robert McKimson. Released in 1956.

Before we begin, a brief mention of the symphony I attended last week: IT WAS GREAT! I got to talk to a lot of Looney Tunes fans. I complimented a man’s tie, a woman complimented my shirt, and I got a picture of me posing next to Bugs in a scene from “Rabbit of Seville.” They played the corresponding music to several shorts. (Including a few Tom and Jerry ones.) The short’s you’d expect were there: “Baton Bunny,” “Long-haired Hare,” and obviously: “What’s Opera, Doc?” All in all, it was spectacular. Here’s hoping everyone had a merry Christmas. (I did.)

A man comes home but is disgusted by the cat who lives there. (Sylvester) The feeling’s mutual however, as Sylvester hides behind a pillow when he looks at the man’s face. (Best joke of the short right there.) The man complains to his wife,(June Foray in one of her first roles at Warners.) but she reminds him that they got the cat to catch mice. Which he apparently did. (It’s nice to not have him fail for once.) Since there are no more mice, she agrees to get rid of the cat tomorrow.

Sylvester has heard the whole thing and is not willing to part with his home. Luckily for him, there is a mouse right outside, who faints at the sight of the cat. (And this mouse shall be named: Dennis.) Sylvester brings him to with some cheese, and the mouse thinks he died and went to heaven. When he sees the cat still behind him, he figures it’s the other place. Sylvester lays down the rules: the mouse does what he commands, or it’s down the hatch. He has the mouse go in and scare the woman of the house. (Did any woman really ever jump on a stool at the sight of a mouse? I figure they’d beat it to death with a broom first.) Sylvester comes to the rescue and pounds the rodent. The wife tells her husband the cat is staying. If there is one mouse, there must be more about. (Poor Dennis probably IS a father.)

The charade goes on for a few weeks, until one day when Sylvester gets his pet, Dennis talks back. He’s been thinking, and realizes that Sylvester is not going to eat him; he’s far too valuable. In fact, he can do as crazy stuff as can be as he wants. Jumping off of high places, grabbing mousetraps, and standing under anvils, knowing the cat will save him each time. His antics go too far when he sits on a lit firecracker. Sylvester throws it out of the room, where it explodes on the man. Cut to Sylvester battered and bruised. (Holy crap! That guy actually beat a cat up? I hate the things, but that’s flucking evil! I hope for his sake that Dennis’s family isn’t there, or your wife will have his head.)

Speaking of that mouse, he waves to Sylvester from a bridge and jumps. He pretends to drown much to the puttytat’s delight. As he goes on his merry way, Dennis tells us he figures after all that hell, he deserved a happy ending.

Personal Rating: 3

See you next year!

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Cat Feud

‘Electro-Magnetic Crane’

Directed by Chuck Jones. Released in 1958.

Well, forget that Marc Anthony and Pussyfoot ever met. According to this short, this is how it all really began. Of course, Marc is gray here, so it might just be an alternate universe. The short itself starts in a construction site. Marc Anthony is a guard dog who marches in time to the short’s soundtrack. He takes great pride in his work and ferociously barks at a moving bag that contains a kitten. Um… Why was it in a trash can? (Humanity, what’s wrong with you!) Despite the large canine barking in it’s face, the kitten is not afraid and instead makes itself comfortable on the dog’s back. He falls for the cutie and adopts him.

He sets him down with a sausage to eat, while he continues his rounds. Hungry eyes are watching, however. It’s a creature that looks like a mix between Claude Cat and the Grinch. So we’ll call him Grinch cat. He heads for the meaty treat, but as soon as he lays one paw on it, Marc Antony is there to pound him. But the sour puss is not going to give up that easily, as he begins to raise the I-beam the kitten is on. In turn, Pussyfoot wakes up and takes note of the meal in its possession. With the dog’s help the kitten, manages to not walk off into the abyss, but he is left hanging by another beam. Grinch cat, shakes it a bit, (sure showed him.) and goes back to the hunt. (I really like how he’s animated.)

When he does get the sausage from the kitten, the kitten shows it is not pleased. Grinch cat does the ole “Go on, hit me!” routine, not seeing the I-beam Marc Antony has sent heading for his skull. Thinking the pain was delivered by the kitten, he doesn’t notice that a return trip means he’s about to be I-beamed again. (And I beamed.) Fearing the obviously herculean super kitty, Grinch cat grabs a hammer. Marc in turn makes use of today’s quote and pulls him and the hammer up. Grinch falls down, and Marc releases the hammer head on cat head. The cat grabs a hardhat and keeps his cranium intact. But the clever dog, turns the magnet back on, and the cat flies back up. Then Marc just trolls him by quickly turning the thing off and on. But he has to stop, when he sees his precious Pussyfoot about to fall again.

He saves him (her/it) and Grinch tries to make a break for it. He gets his foot caught in a bucket though, and the magnet grabs him again, wedging him between the pail and the hat. Later that night, he’s still up there as the dog and kitten happily bunk down for the night.

Personal Rating: 3

Guess who is going to a symphony tonight? Not just any one though, this one is going to be playing a tribute to Looney Tunes. A dream come true! Here’s wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

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Kiss me Cat

“A cat that won’t catch mice, and now a crazy dog.”

Directed by Charles M. Jones. Released in 1953.

It’s a continuation story! (That’s rare for Warner Bros.) Marc Anthony happily sleeps with his kitten, Pussyfoot. (Whose name is used for the first time here.) They are happy together. The lady of the house, (whose name is revealed to be Vi. no relation to last weeks post) tells her husband, Tom, that she has seen a mouse. Despite the fact that Pussyfoot is a flucking kitten, Tom says that if he, (they say “he” but I’m sure the final word is that Pussyfoot is a her. But I’ll just say he for now.) doesn’t catch mice, then they will get a new cat. While he doesn’t outright say they’ll replace the current one, it’s definitely implied. Marc decides to teach his pet to catch mice. He shoves him into the mouse’s hole and the result is too cute for words, so you’ll just have to see it yourself.

Preh-shuss!

But if Tom sees that, then Pussyfoot definitely will be gone. Marc tries drawing some pictures to get the point across. (Pussyfoot imitating his expression.) It doesn’t work and the mouse just uses the cat as a mule once more. Marc attaches some cheese to a jack-in-the-box and the mouse faints at the severed clown head in a box. (Why are these marketed as children’s toys?) He puts the mouse in the kittens mouth and begs Tom to come see. Tom’s too slow and the mouse takes his mule out again. In desperation, Marc shows he can do ballet. Tom isn’t amused. (I am.)

While Marc thinks of a new plan, the mouse lures Pussyfoot into his hole. He sends a ransom note that demands cheese in small chunks, or the cat will be returned in the same style. (Dang. That’s dark.) Marc calls his bluff, until he hears squeals of pain. (Really just the mouse pretending. Pussyfoot is having some milk. He’s not such a bad mouse.) Marc gives in to the demands, and Tom catches him in the act. Marc gets another idea. He puts a magnifying mirror up to the hole and tells the mouse to see the NEW cat. When the mouse sees this, (Pussyfoot only looks mean because Marc Anthony squished his brow down.) he high tails it out of there with his family. (He was just trying to survive? Tom and Vi, you two are evil.) Marc Anthony proudly shows off the champion. Looks like they’ll continue to have many happy days together.

Personal Rating: 3